Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators (2018) s03e09 Episode Script
O Thou Invisible Spirit of Wine
Don't touch anything! Sorry.
So, all this stuff .
.
what is it? Well, you've got your motion-sensors, thermal cameras, EMF meters, and, erm, talcum powder.
You're actually serious about this, aren't you? Of course.
I cannot believe you actually invited her to stay.
Well, if it means saving the pub, I'll do whatever it takes.
Mum, we can't afford this.
Not now.
You should at least charge her for a room, and, seriously, ghosts? Secrets from the grave? Don't worry.
If there is a full-torso, vaporous apparition haunting this pub, I will record it.
MACHINERY BEEPS AND BLEEPS DOG BARKS EERIE MUSIC A KNOCK ANOTHER KNOCK AND GLASS SMASHING Ben? Out here! Ben! Ben! It's coming from the bar! ELECTRICITY FIZZES AND CRACKLES MACHINERY BEEPS AND BLEEPS She was here.
Oh, I'm going, I'm going.
I merely came to discuss You came to sniff around for information, and you won't get any! It's our legal right to renew! I swear to you, if you try to make trouble, I will personally make sure it comes back on you.
Montagues, eh? They're all the same.
Is this a bad time? Depends if you're with HIM.
Erm, no.
I'm, I'm Lu Shakespeare, this is Frank Hathaway, my partner.
Er, business partner.
I wouldn't Erm, we're private investigators.
I think you might have called.
Yes.
Erm, Melanie Montague.
Everything OK? Oh, not really.
Sorry.
It's just this pub has been in my family for generations, but every 30 years, we have to re-purchase the leasehold from that man's family, the Capulets.
Oh, the stress of it pushed my mother to an early grave, and now I see why.
Thank you.
Oh, I'm sorry.
The last thing you want to be dealing with on top of it all is someone disappearing.
What? In your message, you said that someone called Lil has gone missing? Oh, Old Lil? No, no, she's not missing.
She's been stolen.
She she's not a person.
Old Lil is an antique photograph.
A photograph? Really? Of my great-great-grandmother, Lillian Montague.
There's a long history of single mums running this place.
Fascinating.
Oh, here, she was taken from here .
.
and, erm, well, the police came, a tall man, very angry, with a with a silly moustache, but, erm, he, er, well, he didn't give a monkey's, he just gave me a crime number.
Here, this is what she looks like.
Erm, I'm sorry, it's not very clear.
I only took it for insurance.
So, is Old Lil valuable? Well, to me, yes.
But not to anyone else? Look, it's silly, but .
.
she's said to haunt the pub.
They say, as long as her photograph remains on display, the hauntings will stay harmless, but, if she's removed WHISPERS: .
.
she gets angry.
I know it sounds far-fetched, but honestly, the photo went missing yesterday afternoon, and last night she was here.
No! Yes! There were broken glasses and fused lights and this awful smell.
And you think that was Old Lil? Well, who else? The room was empty.
Please.
I'm at my wit's end with everything that's going on, I just, I really need her back! Look, er, we'd really like to help, but, er Oh So, when you say that she went missing, when exactly did you notice that first? Well, it was over here I'll have a pint, please.
My son will know.
Ben? Ben.
Oh, is that? It is! Is what? Nothing, just be cool, be cool.
Ben, this is Frank and Luella.
I'm Lu, erm, that's what my friends call me, so you can call me that I'm Ben.
I know! I know, I recognise you Oh.
.
.
from the show.
I love the show, Cake Off.
Thanks.
Ben's transformed this place.
He's designed cutting-edge, experimental dishes to be served in an unspoiled rustic setting.
We're after a Michelin Star.
Yeah, we're not quite there yet.
Don't be so humble! Yeah, don't be so humble, Ben! Sorry.
Frank and Luella are private investigators.
They're going to help us find Old Lil.
Private investigators? Mum, this is crazy, we haven't got the money.
Sorry? It's the worst possible time.
It's important to me.
All I ask is you help.
Oi, Nick, mate! Really? It's supposed to be caramelised, not cremated! Come on! Please.
OK, so, erm, what can I do? Erm, are we right in thinking that you were around, erm, yesterday, when Old Lil went missing? No, she was taken some time between lunch shift and dinner shift, when the pub is closed.
So, between 3pm and 6pm.
I was out.
But, erm, what SHE CLEARS HER THROA Any signs of a break-in, or Of a break-in? No? Good.
And, erm, was there anyone else who would've been around at that time? Er, well, my staff tend to take off between shifts.
The only people who might have been here were Mum and Penelope.
OK.
That's great.
I run the Stratford Spirituals.
Sorry, the Stratford? Spirituals.
Oh The online ghost-hunting channel and forum.
Ooh! Do you mind if I? For my records.
I'm researching here.
You probably saw my operations centre outside.
What, the old camper van? My operations centre! I asked Penelope to come, so she's stayed here for the last three nights.
What a good idea.
In Lilian Montague's bedroom, no less.
I'm taking readings, and I'm shooting a vigil here tonight, if I can find a cameraman.
Wow! And, so, tell me, do you think any of your, like, gadget-y things might have captured whoever stole Old Lil? Er, no.
Is that why you're here? Yes.
Yeah, we were told that she went missing yesterday, between 3pm and 6pm.
We were just wondering whereabouts you were then? Oh, well, I was, erm .
.
out.
Out anywhere in particular? Conducting an interview about Old Lil's infamous wager.
Sorry, wager? Yeah, Lillian Montague ran this pub, like these two guys, under a 30-year leasehold from the Capulet family.
But rumour has it that just before she died, she actually won ownership of the pub and the land.
From the Capulet family? Correct! But the Capulets were so angry that they actually killed Lil in the middle of the night, right before she could register the transfer deeds.
It's an old wives' tale.
Hey! Sometimes they turn out to be true.
So, that's why I asked Penelope here, to see if Old Lil was trying to tell us something.
So, this interview you did yesterday, who was that with? Stephen Capulet.
You know, the slime-ball you met on the way in.
Look, we'd love to help, but we really are very Don't you worry.
We will have that picture of Lil back on the wall before you know it.
Talk about scraping the bottom of the beer barrel.
Haunted pubs? Discombobulated spirits? Wasn't that the name of that heavy metal band you sang in at school? Ha, very funny.
Well, if it was, it would be less humiliating.
No my band was called Staliyon, with a Y.
The fee on this is a joke.
Oh, don't be so cynical.
Who's to say that Old Lil's tormented spirit doesn't roam the corridor? I saw a ghost once.
Really? Yeah, Mr Biggles, my aunt's dog, a Bichon Frise, in the park, the day AFTER it was run over.
You didn't think that maybe it was just another Bichon Frise? Anyway, I want to help this family.
You want to help the handsome celebrity chef, more like.
I appreciate his craft.
Yeah, I saw you staring at it.
Come on, let's get this over with.
Erm, run some checks on Melanie, Ben and Penelope Lawrence.
We'll check her alibi, see if we can track down this stupid photograph.
I want them gone, I mean, I don't mind admitting it.
It's ridiculous, we own the pub, we own the land, but they always manage to renew that leasehold, and there they are again, for the next 30 years, like squatters.
Oh, that's a bit harsh, isn't it? My family want back what is rightfully ours, and it falls on me to deliver.
The family signet.
Mm? It's bestowed upon the one in the family who's in charge of the family's fortunes.
A small item that carries a heavy burden.
Could you not just talk it through? PHONE RINGS No! As I said to that Penelope woman yesterday, 100 years ago, the Montagues publicly accused my family of murdering Old Lil.
I mean, it's absolute hogwash.
Yeah, no, we heard.
We do not get along.
Right.
Could you tell us what time you spoke to Penelope? I shall have to consult my diary.
Come.
Come, come, come.
So, what exactly is this all about, eh? Er, well, a family heirloom was stolen.
An antique photograph of Old Lil.
Hm, curious.
Won't you meet my son? Christopher.
Chris.
Christopher's got the sharpest mind I know.
I have no doubt he'll convince the board he's a worthy successor to his father.
If, indeed, that's what he wants to do.
Oh, tush, tush! There's no nobler cause behind which to rally one's talents.
I'm Frank Hathaway.
This is Lu Shakespeare.
I actually know who you both are.
I tend to keep an eye on The Barchester Arms' social media.
Oh! Oh! That's, erm It's, er, posted by the Stratford Spirituals, but Melanie and her son have contributed to the page, too.
Clever.
It's created lots of interest in the pub.
I bet! Here we are.
I had a meeting with Penelope Lawrence at 10am yesterday morning.
You you sure? You sure it wasn't the afternoon? Oh, she's, er, somewhat hard to forget.
Where's Frank again? Visiting his special antiques contact.
Honestly, every time he comes back from there, he's got some kind of awful RAAR! Oh! Angry Andy.
Ah, fabulous, another oh-so-tasteful trinket for the office there.
Yeah, my contact won't talk unless I buy something.
Well, I hope it was worth it.
Well, he hasn't seen Old Lil, but he has heard of her.
So, if she's not on his radar, it means someone's sitting on her.
So to speak.
The Stratford Star.
What's this? Your paranormal scientist Penelope Lawrence had a brush with the law.
Yeah, she's got a minor conviction for assault.
Mm-hm, injured someone whilst faking ghostly activity at a seance she was filming.
I knew it.
Charlatan.
Oh, there's no way she's in this game for the good of science.
I found all manner of hammy audition reels online.
This girl is after the limelight.
Yes, so stealing Old Lil would be the perfect story for her.
And it boosts business for the pub.
I wouldn't mind betting they're all in this together.
We've been used.
And I reckon Old Lil's still in that pub, stashed in one of their rooms or in that camper van.
What we need to do is find a way of distracting everyone, keeping them out of the way while we can search the place.
Yes! Ooh, ooh, what about Penelope's creepy vigil thing she was throwing tonight till she lost her cameraman? That could actually work.
All we need is someone on the inside.
You're doing that thing where you turn around because you want me to go undercover, but absolutely not.
This is about ghosts, and I have far too rich an imagination.
Bah, it's not like you have to dress up or anything, is it? Footsteps.
Cold spots.
The disembodied spirit of a murdered landlady.
The Barchester Arms is .
.
erm .
.
is Sorry, are you filming this? No.
No, just taking a light reading.
I'm trying to get my f-stops synchronised with the .
.
little shutter things.
Is there a problem? No.
No.
I'm, um So, will you be trying to communicate with her? I'm not sure yet.
Right.
Well, er I really don't want to be on camera and I've got a lot to prepare for tomorrow, so I'll be upstairs.
Er Er No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's a bad idea, that.
I, er Big, creaky building like this, I'm going to pick up all kinds of noises.
So, I think it's best if everyone just stays down here for now.
OK.
Ready? Yep.
We are ready to go! Rolling, sound speed! Welcome to your nightmares.
BEEPING Wow! BEEPING In the year 1900, it was here that Old Lil was found, DEAD at the bottom of the stairs.
And it is still here that her footsteps are said to be heard.
Lillian? Can you hear me, Lillian? BEEPING Ask her! Ask her about the wager! Ask her about the land! CREAKING Lillian? Are you trying to tell us something? SHE GASPS Hear that? Sh! It's coming from Old Lil's bedroom.
Follow me.
Oh, no! Oh, wait! I, er The battery's Quickly! All right.
Quickly! Incredible! Nobody's there.
At least, nobody living.
WHISPERS: I don't think they saw us.
Did you find anything in the other room? No, but Is that you?! HE SNIFFS Oh! No.
Ah! A broken waste pipe.
Very interesting.
Why? Melanie said there was a nasty smell when Old Lil smashed the bar up last night.
Yes! And if my memory serves me correctly, the bar is just there.
Huh? It's open.
See? Someone could have stood on the pipe and climbed in if they had something to grab hold of.
What, like that wire? ELECTRICS FIZZ It's her! She's trying to tell us! It's about the pub, I know it! Lillian, we're here.
What do you want to say? OK, we're going to turn the lights off and switch to night-vision mode.
RUMBLING Sh! Hear that? Lillian? Is that you? BANGING Come with me.
THEY SHRIEK Was that Sebastian? Yes! Let's get out of here! Go, go! HOOTING Right, keep rolling.
Down! So, there we have it, viewers, The Barchester Arms, where Old Lil still stalks.
What does she want? Perhaps we'll never know.
Send us your comments.
Penelope Lawrence, out! Right, cut.
That was a waste of time! I did my part.
And, by the way, I won't sleep for a week.
Well, you can blame Frank for that.
Well, tomorrow, I'm going to call the Montagues and put an end to this whole fiasco.
Oh! There's a message.
ANSWERPHONE: Message left at 12:40am.
That was only ten minutes' ago.
This is Penelope Lawrence.
Look, I'm the one who took Old Lil.
I did it for the story.
But now I've worked it out! Old Lil is more important than any of you realise.
Only, now, they know it.
Oh, no! I think there's someone here! You?! RUSTLING No! Please! N-o-o-o-o-o-o! Penelope? BEEPING SHE SIGHS Manual strangulation.
Signs of a struggle, but it's hard to tell, it's such a mess in there.
One thing's for sure, there was no sign of Old Lil.
If she was in there, the killer must have taken her.
Guys! What are you doing here? Will you turn that off, please? We're the ones that called it in, Viola.
Oh.
Sorry.
Listen, you'd better not touch anything.
If Sarge catches you here, there'd be more than one death tonight! He looks like he's sucked a lemon at the best of times, but you should see him when he's called out of bed in the night.
He's a right grumpy old sod.
PC Deacon! While the FME certifies the death, why don't you go stand on the road and wait for the CSI team to arrive? Preferably the middle of the road.
Yes, Sarge.
Sorry, Sarge.
Now, before you start, the victim called us.
That's why we're here.
We're looking for an antique photograph of Old Lil.
She's said to haunt the pub.
Penelope was a ghost-hunter.
We think it might all be connected.
A ghost-hunter? I mean, this is low, even for you, Frank.
Look This is a murder investigation now.
You'll have to leave it to the big boys.
Oh! Mrs Montague? I'd like to take both of your statements.
Would you be more comfortable inside? Well, it just doesn't Yeah, sure.
It just doesn't seem real.
I mean, the poor girl! Come on.
You OK? What did she find out that she shouldn't have? And why's that photograph so important? I need to have a proper look in her room.
It'll be a good few hours until we get in there.
Oh! HE CHUCKLES Yes, ma'am! Ahem! Eh? It's daylight! How long have we been here? SHE LAUGHS I didn't want to wake you cos you looked so peaceful.
You were like a giant baby.
Dribble.
Oi! Anyway, forensics have gone and I've just seen the milkman do a drop-off earlier and he left the back door open, so it's all clear.
Come on.
Don't you want to take the thing off? Oh! Oh! Oh! Quick! BEEPING Oh! Ah! Well, make yourself at home, why don't you! This is all about Stratford-upon-Avon.
Historic families.
Ooh! Data stick.
The police missed that? Almost missed it myself.
I thought it was part of the telly, then I just This is all about Lillian Montague.
She was obsessed.
Yeah! Here's a question for you.
What does "Prosa" mean? Proza? Prosa? Diary.
Prosa? Morning! Aw! Thanks! I splashed out on breakfast.
Thought you could use a proper cup of coffee.
Oh! Why don't you just throw it in my face? That'd work quicker.
This data stick is going to be no use.
It's just night-vision photographs.
Empty stairways, empty hall, empty bar.
Oh! WHAT is that?! It's from a folder called "Movement-Triggered Camera".
Well, she had one of those set up in the bar.
This could be a break-in.
That could be our man! Can you clean it up? I'll dust off my wand, see if I can work some magic.
Prosa! It's not a word, it's an an-acronym.
An acronym? Yeah, an an-acronym! An acronym.
Yes! Public Records Office of Stratford-upon-Avon.
S Ah! Ah! Are these really necessary? Yes! Because you've got Danish on your fingers.
So, it seems Penelope was on to something.
Staff have uncovered a diary from the 1900s.
They think it belonged to Old Lil.
They're bringing it in.
Oh-ho-ho! Sh! Thank you.
Sh! Sorry.
Sh! Wow! Look! "June 16th - old Cedric Malone passed away.
"Alas, there goes half our income.
"July 20th - supplier threatened to hike our prices today.
"Until I threatened to counsel his wife "on the filly he's been secretly seeing.
"He saw sense.
" THEY LAUGH I like this woman.
Sh! "September 5th - Montague situation to improve.
"Mr Capulet, of course, claims wager invalid.
"But witnesses disagree.
" The next couple of pages have been ripped out.
That's very convenient, isn't it? Hm.
No, she won't let me look in the logbook.
Public Records Policy, apparently.
Jobsworth.
Sh! Right, that's it, get ready! I'm going to draw fire.
Draw what? Sh! Oh! Argh! Ohhhhhhh! There's been an accident there.
You might have to HE GROANS This lot flipping fell on me! Argh! It's a deathtrap! Are you trying to tell me you stacked those boxes properly?! That's a health and safety violation! I'm going to put a complaint in about you! Oh, I'm so sorry! Sh! Oh! HE GROANS Ooo! Oh! Don't touch me! S Capulet.
MESSAGE ALER What is it? I recognise that ring.
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but, no, I have not been prowling around The Barchester Arms by night.
You sure about that? That's a pretty familiar signet ring.
A small item that carries a heavy burden.
You broke into that pub.
Penelope Lawrence's camera caught you in the act, and now she's dead.
OK, OK, yes, I, er INCOMING CALL I did break into the pub.
But I had nothing to do with that girl's death.
It was the night before she was murdered, I swear! I I went in through a loose window at the back.
The moment I got in, everyone came charging downstairs.
Let me guess, toppled a few stools, smashed a few glasses? Not so much the ghost of Old Lil, more like the ghost of Stephen Capulet.
Why did you want to steal a picture? It's nothing to do with Old Lil.
What, then? I was looking for banking documentation.
Why? I thought if I knew which bank they planned to borrow the money from to pay for the pub's leasehold, I could, you know, twist a few arms.
Simply make sure it didn't happen.
I I don't think you understand.
They have me over a barrel.
They have first refusal on the lease! INCOMING CALL HE SIGHS It's piteous! My father always made it abundantly clear he thought I was an abject failure.
But if I couldn't get that pub back into Capulet hands, I wasn't fit to wear the crest.
Very touching.
Where were you last night? Here, with me.
It's the truth.
He's right.
We had supper late, about 11pm.
Neither of us could sleep, so we went to bed around 1am.
If you have no interest in Old Lil, why did you tear out the final pages of her diary? I didn't do that.
We saw your name in the Personal Records log.
I never even seen a diary.
On my life.
Someone must have used my name.
Sebastian, talk to Viola.
I need to find out about this police investigation.
Families can really mess you up, can't they? I mean, my mum's never actually said it, but I could tell she's always been a bit disappointed in me.
When I first qualified as a police constable, all my dad did was grunted and kind of bared his teeth.
That's the closest you got to a "well done" in our house.
Thank you.
Oh.
What's that? "Read me.
" Frank, it's the missing pages of Old Lil's diary.
"September 6th.
"Night falls.
"The transfer deeds have been signed.
"I won the wager fair and square, "but I admit now I'm scared for retribution.
"Today had my photograph taken.
"The new land owner at her fireplace.
"If anything happens to me, "look closely and the proof will be there in black and white.
" That's the last entry.
New land owner.
It was true about the wager.
Yeah, and this must be the photograph she's talking about, right? The photo taken the very day she died.
But how does it provide proof? I wish it was clearer.
I can't see a thing.
Well, somebody wants us to know all they'll prove the Montagues rightfully own that pub.
Yeah, who, though? Any one of the people that we've spoken to would do anything to get their hands on it if they knew.
Who stands to gain the most? I won't let them get their hands on it, Mummy, don't you worry.
Oh, Lu, Frank.
Any news? No, sorry, not yet.
Oh.
Something I can help you with? Yeah, when was the last time you saw Old Lil's diary? Diary? What diary? You honestly don't know anything about a diary? No.
What does it say? What about Ben? Did he mention anything? No.
No, he Look, if there is something going on, it's probably best if you tell us before the police get involved.
Well, I went into the kitchens to look for his purchase orders, but instead I found this.
"Ben, I think we need to talk about Old Lil.
P.
" And that's Penelope's writing.
And I found it with this.
So, Penelope researches Old Lil, she finds out about the diary, she reads the diary and she realises that the photograph is of real value.
Possible proof the Montagues own The Barchester Arms.
Right, so, she hatches a plan.
She steals the photograph and then she sends a note to Ben saying they need to talk.
She explains it all to him and says he can only have the photograph back at the right price.
Extortion for cash.
Yeah.
I suppose.
They meet up and he just sees red? I still don't see how a photograph of some old biddy by a fireplace proves anything.
Nor do I.
Oh! Hello, Sebastian.
Do you? What? Hang on.
Ben Montague's been arrested for drunk and disorderly.
You what? Hang on.
He's in a right old state, apparently - threatening people and all sorts.
Guilty conscience! Yeah, Frank says guilty conscience.
Why's he going this way? He probably just needs some fresh air, maybe some coconut water, doughnut.
.
Whatever.
.
.
sausage roll.
Hang on.
It's me.
No, I'm not OK.
I'm in a serious mess.
You know exactly what about.
What's he saying? Shh.
Look, listen, if we really are in this together, I need to see you now.
He's meeting someone Well? Follow those buns.
He's anxious.
I bet he is.
His goose is well and truly cooked.
I don't get it, though.
Who's he in it with? His mum? Chris Capulet.
They'll tear each other apart.
I'm not so sure.
Why did you do it, Ben, eh? A rush of blood to the head? A moment of madness? Your mum found the note Penelope sent you and the cash.
She was extorting you, wasn't she? Trying to make you pay for Old Lil, but instead you killed her.
I didn't kill her, and there was no extortion.
What was last night all about? Look, the bank cancelled our business loan, OK? And I know it was Stephen Capulet dripping poison in our bank manager's ear.
I know it! So, why come here? Well, because I need Chris to talk to his dad.
To get him to do something, anything.
Hang on.
Why would he help you? Because they're together.
For a few years now, except we had to hide it.
Mum would never speak to me again.
She's convinced dealing with the Capulets is what killed Gran.
And my father would sooner disinherit me than allow a union that might keep the Montagues in his precious pub.
Nice try, but the cash and the note show clear intent.
I never got to speak to Penelope about Old Lil.
She was dead before I had the chance.
And the cash is for a supplier we owe, nothing else.
It's true.
Ben knows nothing about the diary, nothing about Old Lil, nothing about supposed proof in black and white.
What proof? Proof that the pub may already belong to your family.
So, it was you.
You sent us the diary pages.
Listen, I thought - telling them - I wouldn't be betraying anyone.
You - more than anyone - you know what that place is to me and my family.
I'm sorry.
Me, too.
I'm handing this to the police.
No, no, please.
He didn't do it.
I know he didn't do it.
How? Because .
.
I was with him that night.
I was at the pub, in his room.
I saw the two of you arrive.
I snuck out before the police came.
The diary pages - I didn't steal them.
I found them by chance, in my father's drawer.
You see? I was with Ben the night of the murder .
.
not my father.
Aargh! I've a few questions for you, Mr Capulet, if you'd like to come back to the station with me.
Well, well, well - Old Lil.
We've been looking for you.
Looks like we've got our man, if you can call him that.
I can't believe you killed that poor girl.
Look, I only meant to scare her - that's all.
I didn't mean to She was going to ruin everything.
Arrest him.
Put him in the car.
I suppose I should say thank you.
Ooh, I've gone all tingly.
That's our evidence.
Hang on.
I need a picture of that.
Ooh! Go on - just say it one more time, please - just once.
He said thanks! At least we found her, eventually.
It still doesn't prove anything, though, does it? And Stephen going to prison doesn't stop the leasehold on the pub running out.
They've got less than an hour and still no money.
Perhaps they could open a new pub? It's not just about the pub, though, is it? This has killed off the one hope of the two families uniting - Chris and Ben.
You never know - people do turn things around.
Oh! Turn things around.
Sebastian, you're a genius! I think I'm onto something.
Come on.
We haven't got much time.
Look, mate, I know you want to serve that thing, but we'd actually really like to be alone for these last five minutes.
It's all right.
Here, give it to me.
No, don't do it! What? Old Lil said that the proof would be here in black and white.
Then it is! Sorry, but what's going on? There's one tiny difference between the fireplace in the photograph and the fireplace now.
What? See this tile? It's upside down.
Do you see? So, that means that at some point after this photograph was taken, that tile was replaced.
That's my girl.
Ben? I don't believe it - transfer deeds signed by the Capulets as well as the Montagues.
September 5, 1900.
This is legally binding.
Good Old Lil.
She hid it because she was scared of what the Capulets would do.
So, I mean, this means The land is yours, and the pub.
Oh! Oh, Ben! Oh, we can't thank you enough.
That's all right.
We've always said it's a very important case, haven't we, Lu? Yeah.
Well, the least we can do is offer you a hefty commission on top of your fee.
And of course a free drink whenever you're passing.
Oh, yes.
Oh.
You know, the only reason it worked out so well is because Chris put his feelings before his family.
Must have been one of the hardest choices he's ever had to make.
Well, maybe, after everything, it's time to let things go.
I mean, really "What's in a name?" Go on.
Well, you're passing now, so I'm going to get you that drink.
What? Say it.
OK - the case was worth taking, all right? Thank you.
Yeah.
Finally the pub's in the hands of the people that care about it the most.
Who knows? Maybe that's why Old Lil's spirit's been so restless all these years.
Right now, the only spirit I care about is going to be poured over ice in about two minutes.
I'll drink to that.
No, you won't - you're driving! Go on.
Do you think they do mocktails?
So, all this stuff .
.
what is it? Well, you've got your motion-sensors, thermal cameras, EMF meters, and, erm, talcum powder.
You're actually serious about this, aren't you? Of course.
I cannot believe you actually invited her to stay.
Well, if it means saving the pub, I'll do whatever it takes.
Mum, we can't afford this.
Not now.
You should at least charge her for a room, and, seriously, ghosts? Secrets from the grave? Don't worry.
If there is a full-torso, vaporous apparition haunting this pub, I will record it.
MACHINERY BEEPS AND BLEEPS DOG BARKS EERIE MUSIC A KNOCK ANOTHER KNOCK AND GLASS SMASHING Ben? Out here! Ben! Ben! It's coming from the bar! ELECTRICITY FIZZES AND CRACKLES MACHINERY BEEPS AND BLEEPS She was here.
Oh, I'm going, I'm going.
I merely came to discuss You came to sniff around for information, and you won't get any! It's our legal right to renew! I swear to you, if you try to make trouble, I will personally make sure it comes back on you.
Montagues, eh? They're all the same.
Is this a bad time? Depends if you're with HIM.
Erm, no.
I'm, I'm Lu Shakespeare, this is Frank Hathaway, my partner.
Er, business partner.
I wouldn't Erm, we're private investigators.
I think you might have called.
Yes.
Erm, Melanie Montague.
Everything OK? Oh, not really.
Sorry.
It's just this pub has been in my family for generations, but every 30 years, we have to re-purchase the leasehold from that man's family, the Capulets.
Oh, the stress of it pushed my mother to an early grave, and now I see why.
Thank you.
Oh, I'm sorry.
The last thing you want to be dealing with on top of it all is someone disappearing.
What? In your message, you said that someone called Lil has gone missing? Oh, Old Lil? No, no, she's not missing.
She's been stolen.
She she's not a person.
Old Lil is an antique photograph.
A photograph? Really? Of my great-great-grandmother, Lillian Montague.
There's a long history of single mums running this place.
Fascinating.
Oh, here, she was taken from here .
.
and, erm, well, the police came, a tall man, very angry, with a with a silly moustache, but, erm, he, er, well, he didn't give a monkey's, he just gave me a crime number.
Here, this is what she looks like.
Erm, I'm sorry, it's not very clear.
I only took it for insurance.
So, is Old Lil valuable? Well, to me, yes.
But not to anyone else? Look, it's silly, but .
.
she's said to haunt the pub.
They say, as long as her photograph remains on display, the hauntings will stay harmless, but, if she's removed WHISPERS: .
.
she gets angry.
I know it sounds far-fetched, but honestly, the photo went missing yesterday afternoon, and last night she was here.
No! Yes! There were broken glasses and fused lights and this awful smell.
And you think that was Old Lil? Well, who else? The room was empty.
Please.
I'm at my wit's end with everything that's going on, I just, I really need her back! Look, er, we'd really like to help, but, er Oh So, when you say that she went missing, when exactly did you notice that first? Well, it was over here I'll have a pint, please.
My son will know.
Ben? Ben.
Oh, is that? It is! Is what? Nothing, just be cool, be cool.
Ben, this is Frank and Luella.
I'm Lu, erm, that's what my friends call me, so you can call me that I'm Ben.
I know! I know, I recognise you Oh.
.
.
from the show.
I love the show, Cake Off.
Thanks.
Ben's transformed this place.
He's designed cutting-edge, experimental dishes to be served in an unspoiled rustic setting.
We're after a Michelin Star.
Yeah, we're not quite there yet.
Don't be so humble! Yeah, don't be so humble, Ben! Sorry.
Frank and Luella are private investigators.
They're going to help us find Old Lil.
Private investigators? Mum, this is crazy, we haven't got the money.
Sorry? It's the worst possible time.
It's important to me.
All I ask is you help.
Oi, Nick, mate! Really? It's supposed to be caramelised, not cremated! Come on! Please.
OK, so, erm, what can I do? Erm, are we right in thinking that you were around, erm, yesterday, when Old Lil went missing? No, she was taken some time between lunch shift and dinner shift, when the pub is closed.
So, between 3pm and 6pm.
I was out.
But, erm, what SHE CLEARS HER THROA Any signs of a break-in, or Of a break-in? No? Good.
And, erm, was there anyone else who would've been around at that time? Er, well, my staff tend to take off between shifts.
The only people who might have been here were Mum and Penelope.
OK.
That's great.
I run the Stratford Spirituals.
Sorry, the Stratford? Spirituals.
Oh The online ghost-hunting channel and forum.
Ooh! Do you mind if I? For my records.
I'm researching here.
You probably saw my operations centre outside.
What, the old camper van? My operations centre! I asked Penelope to come, so she's stayed here for the last three nights.
What a good idea.
In Lilian Montague's bedroom, no less.
I'm taking readings, and I'm shooting a vigil here tonight, if I can find a cameraman.
Wow! And, so, tell me, do you think any of your, like, gadget-y things might have captured whoever stole Old Lil? Er, no.
Is that why you're here? Yes.
Yeah, we were told that she went missing yesterday, between 3pm and 6pm.
We were just wondering whereabouts you were then? Oh, well, I was, erm .
.
out.
Out anywhere in particular? Conducting an interview about Old Lil's infamous wager.
Sorry, wager? Yeah, Lillian Montague ran this pub, like these two guys, under a 30-year leasehold from the Capulet family.
But rumour has it that just before she died, she actually won ownership of the pub and the land.
From the Capulet family? Correct! But the Capulets were so angry that they actually killed Lil in the middle of the night, right before she could register the transfer deeds.
It's an old wives' tale.
Hey! Sometimes they turn out to be true.
So, that's why I asked Penelope here, to see if Old Lil was trying to tell us something.
So, this interview you did yesterday, who was that with? Stephen Capulet.
You know, the slime-ball you met on the way in.
Look, we'd love to help, but we really are very Don't you worry.
We will have that picture of Lil back on the wall before you know it.
Talk about scraping the bottom of the beer barrel.
Haunted pubs? Discombobulated spirits? Wasn't that the name of that heavy metal band you sang in at school? Ha, very funny.
Well, if it was, it would be less humiliating.
No my band was called Staliyon, with a Y.
The fee on this is a joke.
Oh, don't be so cynical.
Who's to say that Old Lil's tormented spirit doesn't roam the corridor? I saw a ghost once.
Really? Yeah, Mr Biggles, my aunt's dog, a Bichon Frise, in the park, the day AFTER it was run over.
You didn't think that maybe it was just another Bichon Frise? Anyway, I want to help this family.
You want to help the handsome celebrity chef, more like.
I appreciate his craft.
Yeah, I saw you staring at it.
Come on, let's get this over with.
Erm, run some checks on Melanie, Ben and Penelope Lawrence.
We'll check her alibi, see if we can track down this stupid photograph.
I want them gone, I mean, I don't mind admitting it.
It's ridiculous, we own the pub, we own the land, but they always manage to renew that leasehold, and there they are again, for the next 30 years, like squatters.
Oh, that's a bit harsh, isn't it? My family want back what is rightfully ours, and it falls on me to deliver.
The family signet.
Mm? It's bestowed upon the one in the family who's in charge of the family's fortunes.
A small item that carries a heavy burden.
Could you not just talk it through? PHONE RINGS No! As I said to that Penelope woman yesterday, 100 years ago, the Montagues publicly accused my family of murdering Old Lil.
I mean, it's absolute hogwash.
Yeah, no, we heard.
We do not get along.
Right.
Could you tell us what time you spoke to Penelope? I shall have to consult my diary.
Come.
Come, come, come.
So, what exactly is this all about, eh? Er, well, a family heirloom was stolen.
An antique photograph of Old Lil.
Hm, curious.
Won't you meet my son? Christopher.
Chris.
Christopher's got the sharpest mind I know.
I have no doubt he'll convince the board he's a worthy successor to his father.
If, indeed, that's what he wants to do.
Oh, tush, tush! There's no nobler cause behind which to rally one's talents.
I'm Frank Hathaway.
This is Lu Shakespeare.
I actually know who you both are.
I tend to keep an eye on The Barchester Arms' social media.
Oh! Oh! That's, erm It's, er, posted by the Stratford Spirituals, but Melanie and her son have contributed to the page, too.
Clever.
It's created lots of interest in the pub.
I bet! Here we are.
I had a meeting with Penelope Lawrence at 10am yesterday morning.
You you sure? You sure it wasn't the afternoon? Oh, she's, er, somewhat hard to forget.
Where's Frank again? Visiting his special antiques contact.
Honestly, every time he comes back from there, he's got some kind of awful RAAR! Oh! Angry Andy.
Ah, fabulous, another oh-so-tasteful trinket for the office there.
Yeah, my contact won't talk unless I buy something.
Well, I hope it was worth it.
Well, he hasn't seen Old Lil, but he has heard of her.
So, if she's not on his radar, it means someone's sitting on her.
So to speak.
The Stratford Star.
What's this? Your paranormal scientist Penelope Lawrence had a brush with the law.
Yeah, she's got a minor conviction for assault.
Mm-hm, injured someone whilst faking ghostly activity at a seance she was filming.
I knew it.
Charlatan.
Oh, there's no way she's in this game for the good of science.
I found all manner of hammy audition reels online.
This girl is after the limelight.
Yes, so stealing Old Lil would be the perfect story for her.
And it boosts business for the pub.
I wouldn't mind betting they're all in this together.
We've been used.
And I reckon Old Lil's still in that pub, stashed in one of their rooms or in that camper van.
What we need to do is find a way of distracting everyone, keeping them out of the way while we can search the place.
Yes! Ooh, ooh, what about Penelope's creepy vigil thing she was throwing tonight till she lost her cameraman? That could actually work.
All we need is someone on the inside.
You're doing that thing where you turn around because you want me to go undercover, but absolutely not.
This is about ghosts, and I have far too rich an imagination.
Bah, it's not like you have to dress up or anything, is it? Footsteps.
Cold spots.
The disembodied spirit of a murdered landlady.
The Barchester Arms is .
.
erm .
.
is Sorry, are you filming this? No.
No, just taking a light reading.
I'm trying to get my f-stops synchronised with the .
.
little shutter things.
Is there a problem? No.
No.
I'm, um So, will you be trying to communicate with her? I'm not sure yet.
Right.
Well, er I really don't want to be on camera and I've got a lot to prepare for tomorrow, so I'll be upstairs.
Er Er No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's a bad idea, that.
I, er Big, creaky building like this, I'm going to pick up all kinds of noises.
So, I think it's best if everyone just stays down here for now.
OK.
Ready? Yep.
We are ready to go! Rolling, sound speed! Welcome to your nightmares.
BEEPING Wow! BEEPING In the year 1900, it was here that Old Lil was found, DEAD at the bottom of the stairs.
And it is still here that her footsteps are said to be heard.
Lillian? Can you hear me, Lillian? BEEPING Ask her! Ask her about the wager! Ask her about the land! CREAKING Lillian? Are you trying to tell us something? SHE GASPS Hear that? Sh! It's coming from Old Lil's bedroom.
Follow me.
Oh, no! Oh, wait! I, er The battery's Quickly! All right.
Quickly! Incredible! Nobody's there.
At least, nobody living.
WHISPERS: I don't think they saw us.
Did you find anything in the other room? No, but Is that you?! HE SNIFFS Oh! No.
Ah! A broken waste pipe.
Very interesting.
Why? Melanie said there was a nasty smell when Old Lil smashed the bar up last night.
Yes! And if my memory serves me correctly, the bar is just there.
Huh? It's open.
See? Someone could have stood on the pipe and climbed in if they had something to grab hold of.
What, like that wire? ELECTRICS FIZZ It's her! She's trying to tell us! It's about the pub, I know it! Lillian, we're here.
What do you want to say? OK, we're going to turn the lights off and switch to night-vision mode.
RUMBLING Sh! Hear that? Lillian? Is that you? BANGING Come with me.
THEY SHRIEK Was that Sebastian? Yes! Let's get out of here! Go, go! HOOTING Right, keep rolling.
Down! So, there we have it, viewers, The Barchester Arms, where Old Lil still stalks.
What does she want? Perhaps we'll never know.
Send us your comments.
Penelope Lawrence, out! Right, cut.
That was a waste of time! I did my part.
And, by the way, I won't sleep for a week.
Well, you can blame Frank for that.
Well, tomorrow, I'm going to call the Montagues and put an end to this whole fiasco.
Oh! There's a message.
ANSWERPHONE: Message left at 12:40am.
That was only ten minutes' ago.
This is Penelope Lawrence.
Look, I'm the one who took Old Lil.
I did it for the story.
But now I've worked it out! Old Lil is more important than any of you realise.
Only, now, they know it.
Oh, no! I think there's someone here! You?! RUSTLING No! Please! N-o-o-o-o-o-o! Penelope? BEEPING SHE SIGHS Manual strangulation.
Signs of a struggle, but it's hard to tell, it's such a mess in there.
One thing's for sure, there was no sign of Old Lil.
If she was in there, the killer must have taken her.
Guys! What are you doing here? Will you turn that off, please? We're the ones that called it in, Viola.
Oh.
Sorry.
Listen, you'd better not touch anything.
If Sarge catches you here, there'd be more than one death tonight! He looks like he's sucked a lemon at the best of times, but you should see him when he's called out of bed in the night.
He's a right grumpy old sod.
PC Deacon! While the FME certifies the death, why don't you go stand on the road and wait for the CSI team to arrive? Preferably the middle of the road.
Yes, Sarge.
Sorry, Sarge.
Now, before you start, the victim called us.
That's why we're here.
We're looking for an antique photograph of Old Lil.
She's said to haunt the pub.
Penelope was a ghost-hunter.
We think it might all be connected.
A ghost-hunter? I mean, this is low, even for you, Frank.
Look This is a murder investigation now.
You'll have to leave it to the big boys.
Oh! Mrs Montague? I'd like to take both of your statements.
Would you be more comfortable inside? Well, it just doesn't Yeah, sure.
It just doesn't seem real.
I mean, the poor girl! Come on.
You OK? What did she find out that she shouldn't have? And why's that photograph so important? I need to have a proper look in her room.
It'll be a good few hours until we get in there.
Oh! HE CHUCKLES Yes, ma'am! Ahem! Eh? It's daylight! How long have we been here? SHE LAUGHS I didn't want to wake you cos you looked so peaceful.
You were like a giant baby.
Dribble.
Oi! Anyway, forensics have gone and I've just seen the milkman do a drop-off earlier and he left the back door open, so it's all clear.
Come on.
Don't you want to take the thing off? Oh! Oh! Oh! Quick! BEEPING Oh! Ah! Well, make yourself at home, why don't you! This is all about Stratford-upon-Avon.
Historic families.
Ooh! Data stick.
The police missed that? Almost missed it myself.
I thought it was part of the telly, then I just This is all about Lillian Montague.
She was obsessed.
Yeah! Here's a question for you.
What does "Prosa" mean? Proza? Prosa? Diary.
Prosa? Morning! Aw! Thanks! I splashed out on breakfast.
Thought you could use a proper cup of coffee.
Oh! Why don't you just throw it in my face? That'd work quicker.
This data stick is going to be no use.
It's just night-vision photographs.
Empty stairways, empty hall, empty bar.
Oh! WHAT is that?! It's from a folder called "Movement-Triggered Camera".
Well, she had one of those set up in the bar.
This could be a break-in.
That could be our man! Can you clean it up? I'll dust off my wand, see if I can work some magic.
Prosa! It's not a word, it's an an-acronym.
An acronym? Yeah, an an-acronym! An acronym.
Yes! Public Records Office of Stratford-upon-Avon.
S Ah! Ah! Are these really necessary? Yes! Because you've got Danish on your fingers.
So, it seems Penelope was on to something.
Staff have uncovered a diary from the 1900s.
They think it belonged to Old Lil.
They're bringing it in.
Oh-ho-ho! Sh! Thank you.
Sh! Sorry.
Sh! Wow! Look! "June 16th - old Cedric Malone passed away.
"Alas, there goes half our income.
"July 20th - supplier threatened to hike our prices today.
"Until I threatened to counsel his wife "on the filly he's been secretly seeing.
"He saw sense.
" THEY LAUGH I like this woman.
Sh! "September 5th - Montague situation to improve.
"Mr Capulet, of course, claims wager invalid.
"But witnesses disagree.
" The next couple of pages have been ripped out.
That's very convenient, isn't it? Hm.
No, she won't let me look in the logbook.
Public Records Policy, apparently.
Jobsworth.
Sh! Right, that's it, get ready! I'm going to draw fire.
Draw what? Sh! Oh! Argh! Ohhhhhhh! There's been an accident there.
You might have to HE GROANS This lot flipping fell on me! Argh! It's a deathtrap! Are you trying to tell me you stacked those boxes properly?! That's a health and safety violation! I'm going to put a complaint in about you! Oh, I'm so sorry! Sh! Oh! HE GROANS Ooo! Oh! Don't touch me! S Capulet.
MESSAGE ALER What is it? I recognise that ring.
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but, no, I have not been prowling around The Barchester Arms by night.
You sure about that? That's a pretty familiar signet ring.
A small item that carries a heavy burden.
You broke into that pub.
Penelope Lawrence's camera caught you in the act, and now she's dead.
OK, OK, yes, I, er INCOMING CALL I did break into the pub.
But I had nothing to do with that girl's death.
It was the night before she was murdered, I swear! I I went in through a loose window at the back.
The moment I got in, everyone came charging downstairs.
Let me guess, toppled a few stools, smashed a few glasses? Not so much the ghost of Old Lil, more like the ghost of Stephen Capulet.
Why did you want to steal a picture? It's nothing to do with Old Lil.
What, then? I was looking for banking documentation.
Why? I thought if I knew which bank they planned to borrow the money from to pay for the pub's leasehold, I could, you know, twist a few arms.
Simply make sure it didn't happen.
I I don't think you understand.
They have me over a barrel.
They have first refusal on the lease! INCOMING CALL HE SIGHS It's piteous! My father always made it abundantly clear he thought I was an abject failure.
But if I couldn't get that pub back into Capulet hands, I wasn't fit to wear the crest.
Very touching.
Where were you last night? Here, with me.
It's the truth.
He's right.
We had supper late, about 11pm.
Neither of us could sleep, so we went to bed around 1am.
If you have no interest in Old Lil, why did you tear out the final pages of her diary? I didn't do that.
We saw your name in the Personal Records log.
I never even seen a diary.
On my life.
Someone must have used my name.
Sebastian, talk to Viola.
I need to find out about this police investigation.
Families can really mess you up, can't they? I mean, my mum's never actually said it, but I could tell she's always been a bit disappointed in me.
When I first qualified as a police constable, all my dad did was grunted and kind of bared his teeth.
That's the closest you got to a "well done" in our house.
Thank you.
Oh.
What's that? "Read me.
" Frank, it's the missing pages of Old Lil's diary.
"September 6th.
"Night falls.
"The transfer deeds have been signed.
"I won the wager fair and square, "but I admit now I'm scared for retribution.
"Today had my photograph taken.
"The new land owner at her fireplace.
"If anything happens to me, "look closely and the proof will be there in black and white.
" That's the last entry.
New land owner.
It was true about the wager.
Yeah, and this must be the photograph she's talking about, right? The photo taken the very day she died.
But how does it provide proof? I wish it was clearer.
I can't see a thing.
Well, somebody wants us to know all they'll prove the Montagues rightfully own that pub.
Yeah, who, though? Any one of the people that we've spoken to would do anything to get their hands on it if they knew.
Who stands to gain the most? I won't let them get their hands on it, Mummy, don't you worry.
Oh, Lu, Frank.
Any news? No, sorry, not yet.
Oh.
Something I can help you with? Yeah, when was the last time you saw Old Lil's diary? Diary? What diary? You honestly don't know anything about a diary? No.
What does it say? What about Ben? Did he mention anything? No.
No, he Look, if there is something going on, it's probably best if you tell us before the police get involved.
Well, I went into the kitchens to look for his purchase orders, but instead I found this.
"Ben, I think we need to talk about Old Lil.
P.
" And that's Penelope's writing.
And I found it with this.
So, Penelope researches Old Lil, she finds out about the diary, she reads the diary and she realises that the photograph is of real value.
Possible proof the Montagues own The Barchester Arms.
Right, so, she hatches a plan.
She steals the photograph and then she sends a note to Ben saying they need to talk.
She explains it all to him and says he can only have the photograph back at the right price.
Extortion for cash.
Yeah.
I suppose.
They meet up and he just sees red? I still don't see how a photograph of some old biddy by a fireplace proves anything.
Nor do I.
Oh! Hello, Sebastian.
Do you? What? Hang on.
Ben Montague's been arrested for drunk and disorderly.
You what? Hang on.
He's in a right old state, apparently - threatening people and all sorts.
Guilty conscience! Yeah, Frank says guilty conscience.
Why's he going this way? He probably just needs some fresh air, maybe some coconut water, doughnut.
.
Whatever.
.
.
sausage roll.
Hang on.
It's me.
No, I'm not OK.
I'm in a serious mess.
You know exactly what about.
What's he saying? Shh.
Look, listen, if we really are in this together, I need to see you now.
He's meeting someone Well? Follow those buns.
He's anxious.
I bet he is.
His goose is well and truly cooked.
I don't get it, though.
Who's he in it with? His mum? Chris Capulet.
They'll tear each other apart.
I'm not so sure.
Why did you do it, Ben, eh? A rush of blood to the head? A moment of madness? Your mum found the note Penelope sent you and the cash.
She was extorting you, wasn't she? Trying to make you pay for Old Lil, but instead you killed her.
I didn't kill her, and there was no extortion.
What was last night all about? Look, the bank cancelled our business loan, OK? And I know it was Stephen Capulet dripping poison in our bank manager's ear.
I know it! So, why come here? Well, because I need Chris to talk to his dad.
To get him to do something, anything.
Hang on.
Why would he help you? Because they're together.
For a few years now, except we had to hide it.
Mum would never speak to me again.
She's convinced dealing with the Capulets is what killed Gran.
And my father would sooner disinherit me than allow a union that might keep the Montagues in his precious pub.
Nice try, but the cash and the note show clear intent.
I never got to speak to Penelope about Old Lil.
She was dead before I had the chance.
And the cash is for a supplier we owe, nothing else.
It's true.
Ben knows nothing about the diary, nothing about Old Lil, nothing about supposed proof in black and white.
What proof? Proof that the pub may already belong to your family.
So, it was you.
You sent us the diary pages.
Listen, I thought - telling them - I wouldn't be betraying anyone.
You - more than anyone - you know what that place is to me and my family.
I'm sorry.
Me, too.
I'm handing this to the police.
No, no, please.
He didn't do it.
I know he didn't do it.
How? Because .
.
I was with him that night.
I was at the pub, in his room.
I saw the two of you arrive.
I snuck out before the police came.
The diary pages - I didn't steal them.
I found them by chance, in my father's drawer.
You see? I was with Ben the night of the murder .
.
not my father.
Aargh! I've a few questions for you, Mr Capulet, if you'd like to come back to the station with me.
Well, well, well - Old Lil.
We've been looking for you.
Looks like we've got our man, if you can call him that.
I can't believe you killed that poor girl.
Look, I only meant to scare her - that's all.
I didn't mean to She was going to ruin everything.
Arrest him.
Put him in the car.
I suppose I should say thank you.
Ooh, I've gone all tingly.
That's our evidence.
Hang on.
I need a picture of that.
Ooh! Go on - just say it one more time, please - just once.
He said thanks! At least we found her, eventually.
It still doesn't prove anything, though, does it? And Stephen going to prison doesn't stop the leasehold on the pub running out.
They've got less than an hour and still no money.
Perhaps they could open a new pub? It's not just about the pub, though, is it? This has killed off the one hope of the two families uniting - Chris and Ben.
You never know - people do turn things around.
Oh! Turn things around.
Sebastian, you're a genius! I think I'm onto something.
Come on.
We haven't got much time.
Look, mate, I know you want to serve that thing, but we'd actually really like to be alone for these last five minutes.
It's all right.
Here, give it to me.
No, don't do it! What? Old Lil said that the proof would be here in black and white.
Then it is! Sorry, but what's going on? There's one tiny difference between the fireplace in the photograph and the fireplace now.
What? See this tile? It's upside down.
Do you see? So, that means that at some point after this photograph was taken, that tile was replaced.
That's my girl.
Ben? I don't believe it - transfer deeds signed by the Capulets as well as the Montagues.
September 5, 1900.
This is legally binding.
Good Old Lil.
She hid it because she was scared of what the Capulets would do.
So, I mean, this means The land is yours, and the pub.
Oh! Oh, Ben! Oh, we can't thank you enough.
That's all right.
We've always said it's a very important case, haven't we, Lu? Yeah.
Well, the least we can do is offer you a hefty commission on top of your fee.
And of course a free drink whenever you're passing.
Oh, yes.
Oh.
You know, the only reason it worked out so well is because Chris put his feelings before his family.
Must have been one of the hardest choices he's ever had to make.
Well, maybe, after everything, it's time to let things go.
I mean, really "What's in a name?" Go on.
Well, you're passing now, so I'm going to get you that drink.
What? Say it.
OK - the case was worth taking, all right? Thank you.
Yeah.
Finally the pub's in the hands of the people that care about it the most.
Who knows? Maybe that's why Old Lil's spirit's been so restless all these years.
Right now, the only spirit I care about is going to be poured over ice in about two minutes.
I'll drink to that.
No, you won't - you're driving! Go on.
Do you think they do mocktails?