Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators (2018) s03e08 Episode Script
All That Glisters
Where is home? It's a question I've asked the guests on this podcast dozens of times.
Is it the town you grew up in? Is it where the people who you care about live? Where they died? It's a question I've never wanted to ask myself.
But this series, I'm going to do just that.
Instead of trying to make sense of other people's stories, I'm going to try and understand my own.
The thing that drew me back to Stratford might be a hoax.
It probably is, but it planted the thought in my head.
How did my mother really die? I'm Emilia Belmont and this is Quest for Justice.
And you don't know who sent it? No.
"Don't live a lie.
"Ask your father what really happened to your mother.
" And did you? I tried last night but it didn't go well.
He's always been cold, detached.
That's why we fell out.
So what did happen to your mother as far as you know? Well, she came off the road in the Lake District and crashed into a ditch.
They didn't find the car until later.
By then, it was too late.
Dreadful.
Did the police think there was anything suspicious at the time? No, I was only six.
Look, I know I'm too close to this, which is why I need help.
And you You'd like to use us in your podcast? Oh, definitely.
Yeah.
I usually investigate cold cases by myself, so it'll be fascinating to give my listeners an insight into how professional detectives go about it.
Fabulous.
When I trained at RADA, my tutor did say I have a voice made for the airwaves.
Yeah, and a face for it too! Have you listened to the show? Yes.
Every episode! It's compulsive listening.
I have it on while I'm using my loofah in the bath.
Now there's an image I'll never be able to unsee.
All right.
So are you interested? Absolutely.
Yes! Oh, thank you.
Any questions? Yes.
What's a podcast? No, really What's a podcast? "I received a letter.
It said I should ask you "what really happened to Mum.
"Please, Emilia.
"I haven't seen you for years.
"Don't drag up the past.
"Afraid of what I'll find? "Put the microphone away! No! "Then get out! "I'll not be treated as some sideshow "for other people's entertainment.
"I will find out the truth.
"You can count on it!" I told you didn't go well.
Was I too hard on him? I just We will go and see him, though, and I think we'll try a little bit of a softer approach.
While they're gone, perhaps we could discuss how I can contribute to your podcast.
Actually, I think I might need a moment alone.
If you're planning any dramatic reconstructions, you should know that I'm a trained professional with a playing age from 17 to 68.
Oh! That seems quite broad! Thank you.
Imagine growing up here.
It's like a haunted house.
This podcast is free publicity.
If it gets us more work, I don't mind handling the odd stray ghoulie! Whatever makes you happy.
BELL RINGS OMINOUSLY Welcoming.
Hello? Mr Belmont, I wonder, could we have a word? This is homely.
Did Emilia hire you? Erm we ARE working for your daughter, yeah.
We're just We're just trying to put her mind at rest.
Perhaps I overreacted last night.
Please, tell her I'm sorry.
I was surprised to see her and when she asked about her mother, Leah What did you make of the letter she was sent? Just some crank, no doubt.
It's a town full of actors.
There's no shortage of nutters.
When she disappeared, did you contact the police? Not at first.
Look, my marriage wasn't perfect.
Sometimes we'd argue and Leah would go back to her parents for a few days.
So when she didn't come home, I assume that's what had happened.
Did you argue often? Leah was 12 years younger than me .
.
just 23 when she got pregnant.
Perhaps she wasn't ready to settle down, but I loved her with all my heart.
Does Emilia think that I was involved in her mother's disappearance? She just suspects that there's more to it than she's been told.
She's wrong, and someone's playing a cruel trick on us.
How did you get on? He stuck to the story about your mother dying in an accident.
He's not going to talk.
We need to find out who sent this letter.
Did your dad have any enemies? Dunno, but I haven't seen him for over ten years.
When I was growing up, the only other people he mixed with were other enigmatologists.
Enigma-what's? They're setters of puzzles.
Dad writes the crossword for the local paper.
There are a bunch of them that do something similar.
Really? What, and they make a living out of that? Barely.
But it makes them feel part of something.
Yeah, they used to meet up, one evening, every month.
They'd hide clues about the location in their puzzles.
It was quite childish, really.
You know where we can find any of these .
.
enematologists? There was one enigmatologist who used to babysit for me when I was little.
Yeah, a Swedish guy, Sven Svenson.
And he used to write little logic puzzles for me to do when my parents were out.
Do you remember where he lived? It might not be there any more.
Yeah, well, we've got to start somewhere, haven't we? Yeah.
All right.
Have you got your wellies? We are professionals ready for every eventuality.
SPATTERING GURGLE HE GROANS I never said Sebastian could borrow my wellies.
Sorry! We had to infiltrate the Angler's Union and I didn't want him to look Don't say it! .
.
fishy.
She said it! Hi, Sven.
I don't know if you remember me.
Amy? Little Amy! It has been years.
Yeah! I hear you are a pod person now? Podcaster.
You make a kind of radio programme? Er Yeah.
Who told you? Your father listens.
He's very proud of you.
We're doing a story about how my mum died.
Is it OK to record you? Of course.
These are private investigators.
They're working on the story with me.
Hi, I'm Luella Shakespeare.
This is my partner, business partner, Frank Hathaway.
Hello.
I received this.
Do you know who might have sent it? You recognise the handwriting? You remember Nerissa Norris? Oh, I could hardly forget her.
In the past few years, she's become increasingly, shall we say, erratic.
This is probably her idea of a joke.
Oh, it's not very funny.
I did not say it was a good joke.
I would not pay any attention to it.
Can you tell us where to find her? She's a very private person.
Oh, please.
I'm sorry, little miss.
It would be wrong for me to tell you.
The night my mum's body was found .
.
you were at the house with Dad, weren't you? There was a bonfire.
He was burning something.
He was frantic.
Out of his mind.
He was burning your mother's clothes.
Why? He was not behaving rationally.
He seemed to be furious with the world for taking Leah from him.
But I'm afraid you do not remember quite right.
It was not the day your mother's body was found.
It was the evening before.
So how did he know she was dead? I knew something wasn't right.
Let's not jump to conclusions.
Hey, Seb.
Hello.
Did you notice something? Anthony and Sven were both doing the same chess puzzle in the newspaper and they had identical maps, too.
You think they still meet up? Because if they do, that's where we'll find Nerissa.
Yes.
Although we would have to solve the puzzle to find out where they were meeting.
And I don't think Sven's going to help us with that.
Why is he? Yeah, he does that.
CROAKY: To the naked eye, I'm indistinguishable from any other old person collecting their pension or complaining to the council.
But in truth, I am an undercover agent.
Ah-ha! Recordings of my exploits could form an exciting regular strand of your podcast Just think The Adventures of Sebastian Brudenell, human chameleon.
OK.
Please don't hurt me.
You must forgive Sebastian.
His enthusiasm can sometimes come across as complete insanity.
Look, even if we can find out where the erm .
.
enema enigmatologists .
.
are meeting, how can we find out when? They always used to put the clue in the paper the same day they were meeting, so it must be this evening.
Do you know who set the puzzle? It would've been Tom.
He was a whizz at chess when he was young.
You know his surname? No But he publishes his puzzles under the pen name Graziano.
If that helps? Hey! We can work with that.
We are, after all, professionals.
Now, team.
We're going to go with Protocol 38 to trace him.
Proto-what? The one with the orchid.
The orchid.
The one with the orchid.
Now, all set? Yes.
One urgent delivery to be forwarded to the Grand Master Graziano.
And this really works? The techniques of your modern day, professional PI are more of an art form than a science.
Nothing is guaranteed.
But in my many years of experience, this particular technique has proven useful in over 37 different cases.
Let me tell you about some of them.
No, that's all right.
We might be here for a long, long time.
And I'm sure your listeners would appreciate my tales from the mean streets.
What, of Stratford? "But how did the dog get the necklace from the blackmailer "in the first place?" I hear you ask.
Well, that's where Frankie comes in.
Ooh! Courier! I first heard about the case some six months.
Thanks, Frank.
That was really great stuff.
We didn't have to wait too long, did we? Didn't we? The stakeout is the cornerstone of information gathering.
It's like being at war.
Long periods of quiet frustration followed by a brief moment of frantic action.
Like a date with Frank! Oh.
Hold on.
He's getting away.
Don't worry! Huh? PHONE RINGS Hello.
Tom.
It's Emilia Belmont.
Tom.
This is a surprise.
I can't speak right now, I'm driving.
Oh.
This is Frank and Lou.
They're helping me with my current project.
You won't be requiring that.
I'm recording a podcast.
That's your problem! We're trying to find Nerissa.
I didn't realise she was lost.
Can you help us? Can I or will I? Oh, come on.
Two very different questions.
She doesn't want to speak to you, and neither do I.
Is? Ooh, snug! Is this your work? Trifling effort, suitable only for the riff raff.
The title, Follow The Queen Is that a clue about where you're meeting tonight? How do you know about that? Because nothing in this town ever changes.
Come on.
Just give us a hint.
Or are you ashamed that your puzzle's too easy? It's a workmanlike effort, but I'm sure it's still quite beyond your capabilities.
Oh, well, then.
you've got nothing to worry about.
Very well, then.
Begin with the princes.
The rest you already have.
Good day.
Is it my turn to ask what are we doing here? Go for it.
What are we doing here? Begin with the princess.
Richard III? The princes in the tower? So if this really is the starting location, all we've got to do now is work out how it relates to the chess puzzle.
How are you at chess? There's check mate, actually, six moves from this starting position.
You terrify me sometimes.
What are the moves? White Queen to A7.
Black Pawn to H6.
White Knight to G6 Black Stop! Follow the Queen.
We use the grid on the map as a chessboard and follow the path the Queen takes during the game.
What are the moves again? White Queen to A7.
Where does the Queen move next? G7, three moves later.
There must be somewhere round here you could hold a meeting.
Perhaps they're in a submarine.
Very helpful, Frank.
Great.
Look.
Nerissa.
Oh, hello.
I'm Lou Shakespeare.
This is my colleague Frank Hathaway.
Who told you how to find me? No-one, actually.
We worked out ourselves that the group we're going to meet here tonight, you are early.
No! I come here to work.
It's quiet.
So why meet here if you don't want to be disturbed? It's that idiot Tom's idea of a joke.
He chose it to annoy me.
Why did you write to me? Ask your father.
I did.
He threw me out.
That man is his own worst enemy.
Time is not on his side.
Why? Is he ill? Very.
Which you'd know if you made the slightest effort to stay in touch.
Not even a flicker of concern.
He deserved better than you.
Why didn't you just tell me he was ill in the letter? I thought you might be glad and stay away until it was too late.
Well, why would you think that? You take after your mother! She was a worthless tramp that overreached herself.
Drained the life from your poor father and gave nothing back.
You spiteful old cow! Don't listen to her.
She's just trying to wind you up.
And succeeding.
Hope you're proud of yourself.
She had it coming.
She's always been a little brat.
So why do you want to help her? I don't.
It's Anthony who needs to banish his demons while there's still time.
Working with real detectives has given this story new weight, brought home the reality of what might have happened.
Experience has taught me that anyone can do anything in the right circumstances.
The trick is to remain detached.
See people as part of the web that surrounds them.
Crimes don't occur in a vacuum.
I think we've heard enough.
That was you, wasn't it? I know.
Emilia released the first episode of the podcast last night.
Great publicity for the agency, although not everyone was featured.
It's ridiculous.
There's no mention of me.
No-one would even know I was involved.
Bit like your acting career, then, yeah? PHONE RINGS You going to answer that? Shakespeare and Hathaway, private investigators? Sebastian, it's Viola! Darling! You'll never guess who we're working with? Emilia Belmont.
I know! I heard her podcast! She's saving my entrance until it will make the most impact.
It's about her father! Something's happened.
I'm so sorry.
The police are on their way, but we thought you'd want to hear it from us first.
I know you and your dad weren't very close, but it's just this must be so hard.
Sebastian is going to meet this friend.
She's a policewoman.
Maybe she can tell us more.
Just so sorry.
I hate to talk about practical things, but does this mean the podcast is dust? Why would I stop? Well, you've had a big shock.
Well, that man killed my mother.
His death is just going to make it harder to prove.
One of those, please, with all the frills.
Vegan ice cream.
It's expensive, but worth it to save the planet from cow farts! Sure.
Do you have any information for me? I shouldn't.
Oh, come on.
And you can say you helped out, my dear friend, Emilia Belmont.
I interviewed a witness who was there when the body was found.
Turns out she saw the man who phoned the police go through the victim's pockets before he made the call.
Did he take anything? Yeah, but she never saw what.
Do you know who he was? We're still tracing the mobile but it turns out he spoke with a foreign accent.
Thanks.
He's paying.
So the police traced the 999 call.
We're too late.
What's Tom doing here? We won't be getting to talk to Sven any time soon.
I vote we follow him.
See what he's up to.
Come on.
Belt.
This time you die.
I still have a front door key if that helps? So do you want to tell us what you were doing here? Or would you rather we showed the police our video of your attempted home invasion? GNOME invasion? I wasn't after anything that you people would find .
.
valuable.
See, the trouble is, now you've made it sound more intriguing.
What's that for? Dad's writing desk! Where did you get it from? Anthony didn't come to our meeting last night.
Sven was worried.
Went looking for him this morning.
He found the body .
.
and took this from it.
I think you should show us what it is that's worth robbing a dead man for.
I think you've got some explaining today.
You promise you'll delete it? You can watch me do it.
And you'll let me take the postcard? If we think you're telling the truth, yeah.
There used to be another member of our group, its founder, Dr Pasanio, a truly inventive man.
I don't remember him.
Of course you don't.
You're just a child when he passed away.
If I could continue Please do! Dr Pasanio's puzzles were works of art .
.
in a different league to our pedestrian efforts.
His efforts had made him wealthy.
But when he passed away, he had no heir, so when the series of four anonymous postcards arrived, we soon realised what he had done.
On the back of each postcard was a single word.
Put together, they read "Seek out my legacy.
" It was Dr Pasanio's final riddle.
The map to his fortune.
And did you find it? No.
Despite considering various theories over the years, we never succeeded.
So I came here to steal this? To preserve it! We couldn't let someone who didn't understand its value just dispose of it.
Was my mother part of this group? Hardly.
She lacked the intellectual rigour that was necessary to join us.
She was pleasant enough to look at, but that was about the extent of her talents.
So who owns the other postcards now? Sven, Nerissa and I.
I'd like to take a look at yours.
That wasn't part of the agreement.
Or I could just rip this one up.
No.
Very well.
I'll send you a copy.
I've already said more than I should.
So, please, the video! Emilia, wait! Please! Don't let him upset you.
Oh, Tom's always been a stuck up creep.
He doesn't bother me.
Well, then, what is it? Mum had a horrible life here.
And then she passed away and things just carried on as if she never existed.
They literally just waste their days playing those stupid games with each other.
This must all be so upsetting for you.
I'm sorry.
It's over.
I can't do this.
Everything I hear It just makes me furious that he will never pay for what he did to her.
I'm sorry.
The father I grew up with was a cold, brittle man, but he was also one who talks about my mother like this.
"Living without Leah was like someone "had stolen all the colour from the world.
She was my one I would never hurt her.
Is that the voice of guilt or grief? I know what I believe.
But now I don't know if the truth will ever be found because I'm letting it go.
Sorry, Mum.
I failed.
This is a disaster.
It is very, very sad.
Two episodes without a single mention of me.
Right.
Yeah, no, I was coming at sadness from a different angle.
She's lost her whole family.
Yes, that too.
She will still want to find out what happened to her mother.
If we come up with something solid, I bet we could tempt her back.
Perhaps she'd be more interested in a collaboration if she was better acquainted with my previous work.
I'm not sure you're grasping the real issue here, Sebastian.
Are you sure we shouldn't just leave her alone? Give her time to grieve and heal? Maybe.
But work is a bit thin on the ground lately .
.
and it IS free publicity.
You two are all heart, aren't you? Hey, we've got bills to pay.
She's got a mystery that's haunting her.
Do you know what I was thinking this morning when I drove in? What if Leah had found Dr Pasanio's fortune and one of the others had killed her out of greed or jealousy? Well, if she did find it, we need to see the other postcards.
See if they can help us follow the trail.
Well, the police should have finished up at Sven's caravan by now.
And he seemed to really care about Emilia, didn't he? So maybe he chose his postcard.
And Tom sent us a copy of his set that would just leave .
.
Narissa.
She's totally paranoid.
She's going to keep it close, isn't she? Sebastian, what do you know about birds? When birds do sing, hey, ding-a-ding, ding.
Sweet lovers love the spring.
So nothing then? Not a thing.
No.
It doesn't matter.
You're still the man for the job.
What job? Don't mind me.
Just here to look at the birds, not ruffle any feathers, if you'll forgive the pun.
I'll just set myself down here.
You won't hear a peep out of me.
I can't work with people around! You won't even notice I'm here.
FLASK CLATTERS I wonder why Keeler's come back again today? Oh, nice boots! Thank you.
Are they poo proof? CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY Is Mr Svenson under arrest? He's helping us with our inquiries.
But he's not a killer.
So he happened to stumble across the body of someone he knew.
Very convenient.
Look, whatever happen between them, Anthony clearly missed his wife.
A memorial bench seems like a logical place for Sven to go looking for him.
If you think you're so innocent, what are you doing here? Well, I'm not on a fishing expedition like you are.
I'm here on official business.
Oh, where's forensics, uniform? You're here to save face and to find something to prove you got the right man.
I haven't got time for this.
Listen, I'll make a deal with you.
I'll show you what we came for if you let us examine it before you take it in.
Go on, then.
No! Ah.
Here it is.
A postcard? We think this is a very important clue? Give me the book.
What? Give me the book.
The book! You said we could examine it! Yeah, that was before you tried to cheat me.
Thank you.
HE GASPS An aquatic warbler! A what? A promiscuous bird that has multiple partners.
Really? Take a look.
This is a rare opportunity to see one quite so far inland.
I don't see anything.
Over there.
Keep your eyes peeled.
Do you enjoy spying on promiscuous birds? Not usually my scene.
Shame.
Keep looking at the water! You're just a big tease, aren't you? I know what you want.
I'm very sure you don't! Why don't we find out? Oh! How did you get on? And let me speak to the yet unknowing world, how these things came about.
So shall you hear of carnal, bloody and unnatural acts.
Well, I mean, to be fair, if you're going be an actor you'd better get used to carnal and unnatural acts.
Did she take a shine to you? Let's never speak of this again.
So .
.
that's all of them.
Do you think it's relevant, that we've got a golden eagle, a silver birch, bronze shield, maybe, what? A lead statue? Something to do with the metals, maybe? HA! You all right? I made a copy of Pasanio's will.
Smug fools are off chasing a mystery, didn't even check if it existed? No mention of the postcards.
No instructions on how to send them out? Yeah.
It doesn't mean he couldn't have asked somebody to send them after he died.
There was no prize.
He left the bulk of his fortune to Leah.
Look, "I leave this money to Leah Belmont "so she can finally be free.
" Why would he do that? If he had no family, maybe he wanted to give her a way out.
I mean, it can't have been very nice for her being looked down upon by all those people.
Leah was an outcast among your father's friends, but I think she was smarter than the lot of them.
She invented Dr Pasanio's legacy.
She made up a puzzle without an answer as a punishment for the way they treated her.
She knew they wouldn't be able to resist and they'd go crazy trying to solve it.
Meanwhile, she takes her daughter, disappears with the inheritance.
Except she never got the chance, because only a few weeks after the doctor died, her car came off the road, either by accident or foul play.
It wasn't an accident.
What we haven't considered is the crucial role of the office staff in a breakthrough such as this.
For what it's worth, Leah had your father's friends chasing their tails for 20 years, searching for money she already had.
Yeah, I suppose that is a kind of justice, isn't it? I'll drink to that.
Shall we? Shall we go to the pub? Frank? There's good news and bad news, but the bad news We were wrong.
The good news? We're definitely going to the pub.
Da-dahhhh! So sorry.
Sometimes he forgets to take his medication.
The reason your father's friends couldn't solve the riddle was because they didn't share my particular lifestyle choices.
Which is how they all managed to hold down jobs.
I used to drink here in the '90s.
Back then, the sign was a duck, in a field.
by a lake.
No! Yes.
So what's the second one then? Am I the only one who hasn't gone completely mad? Your turn.
Would someone please tell me what's going on? Look where they're sent from.
They're all from different places.
Yes.
It's not the pictures or the message that's the clue.
It's the postmarks.
The first one's from Duckenfield.
Literally, a duck in a field.
So a pub sign.
And then it's Gun Hill.
Bingo.
Look, what's this? What is it? I don't know.
What's the next postmark? Chapel Avenue.
And then it's Golden Lane.
Hey, you know what there is in Chapel Avenue with a big gold sign? Somewhere you might STORE something? It's all right.
You don't need to answer.
He IS going to tell you anyway.
Any joy? Yes.
It was a ticket for something that had been pawned.
But then why didn't it have the shop's address on it? Because it was no normal ticket.
In exchange for a large retainer, the shop agreed never to sell the item.
What's wrong? It was my mum's.
Emilia, what is it? Dad was telling the truth.
So Leah did die in an accident? No.
No, it's not that.
But it's all he ever told you, isn't it? That's not true, is it? On your podcast, there's a clip of Anthony that wasn't in the recording you originally played us.
You went to see him again, didn't you? What did he tell you? He found me at Mum's bench.
I was so sure he'd done it and he wouldn't confess.
I made it clear that I would never let this rest, so .
.
he told me the truth.
I listened to your show.
Heard your lies.
They're not lies.
Living without Leah was like someone had stolen all the colour from the world.
She was my my one.
I'd never hurt her.
Well, we both know that isn't true.
You killed her.
I didn't kill her! She left.
She didn't want us any more.
Dad, there was a death certificate! It was a fake, in case you ever started asking questions.
Well, no, Dad! She would have taken me with her.
Wouldn't she? It took me three weeks to track her down.
She said she didn't want anything to do with either of us.
She was adamant.
The next day, I invented the car accident and told people she'd died in it.
You'll say anything, won't you? You disgust me telling a lie like that to try and save your own neck.
She left this ring as a last, spiteful taunt in case Dad ever solved her puzzle.
It was you, wasn't it? You killed him.
I don't believe a word you say.
It's the truth.
Please don't walk away from me again.
I didn't mean to hurt him.
All this time, he was remote because he was heartbroken.
And I killed him for a kind life .
.
for not telling a little girl her mum had abandoned her.
What happens now? I don't suppose we can just pretend that we never had this conversation? I came here thinking that Stratford wasn't my home any longer.
Wanting that to be true, but now I see that this place has shaped everything that's happened in my life, even when I was somewhere else.
Apparently, my father used to listen to this podcast.
It breaks my heart that he won't ever hear this final episode, won't get to know how very sorry I am.
If she gets sent down, do you think she'll need someone to take over the podcast? Reassuringly self-centred of you.
She needs to think about these things.
She could train me up while she's out on bail.
How do you get from manslaughter? We should go meet her.
Without me? I think she's been through enough, don't you? What are we doing here? Well, now that we're famous detectives in the Pod-iverse Yeah, that's not a thing.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
.
.
We thought we'd use our powers for good.
Yeah, we've .
.
we've managed to track down somebody we think you might quite like to meet.
Who? No.
No, she said she wanted nothing to do with me.
Look, she was so much younger then.
A lot of water's gone under the bridge.
Listen, you don't have to speak to her.
We thought we'd give you the option.
Thanks.
Is it the town you grew up in? Is it where the people who you care about live? Where they died? It's a question I've never wanted to ask myself.
But this series, I'm going to do just that.
Instead of trying to make sense of other people's stories, I'm going to try and understand my own.
The thing that drew me back to Stratford might be a hoax.
It probably is, but it planted the thought in my head.
How did my mother really die? I'm Emilia Belmont and this is Quest for Justice.
And you don't know who sent it? No.
"Don't live a lie.
"Ask your father what really happened to your mother.
" And did you? I tried last night but it didn't go well.
He's always been cold, detached.
That's why we fell out.
So what did happen to your mother as far as you know? Well, she came off the road in the Lake District and crashed into a ditch.
They didn't find the car until later.
By then, it was too late.
Dreadful.
Did the police think there was anything suspicious at the time? No, I was only six.
Look, I know I'm too close to this, which is why I need help.
And you You'd like to use us in your podcast? Oh, definitely.
Yeah.
I usually investigate cold cases by myself, so it'll be fascinating to give my listeners an insight into how professional detectives go about it.
Fabulous.
When I trained at RADA, my tutor did say I have a voice made for the airwaves.
Yeah, and a face for it too! Have you listened to the show? Yes.
Every episode! It's compulsive listening.
I have it on while I'm using my loofah in the bath.
Now there's an image I'll never be able to unsee.
All right.
So are you interested? Absolutely.
Yes! Oh, thank you.
Any questions? Yes.
What's a podcast? No, really What's a podcast? "I received a letter.
It said I should ask you "what really happened to Mum.
"Please, Emilia.
"I haven't seen you for years.
"Don't drag up the past.
"Afraid of what I'll find? "Put the microphone away! No! "Then get out! "I'll not be treated as some sideshow "for other people's entertainment.
"I will find out the truth.
"You can count on it!" I told you didn't go well.
Was I too hard on him? I just We will go and see him, though, and I think we'll try a little bit of a softer approach.
While they're gone, perhaps we could discuss how I can contribute to your podcast.
Actually, I think I might need a moment alone.
If you're planning any dramatic reconstructions, you should know that I'm a trained professional with a playing age from 17 to 68.
Oh! That seems quite broad! Thank you.
Imagine growing up here.
It's like a haunted house.
This podcast is free publicity.
If it gets us more work, I don't mind handling the odd stray ghoulie! Whatever makes you happy.
BELL RINGS OMINOUSLY Welcoming.
Hello? Mr Belmont, I wonder, could we have a word? This is homely.
Did Emilia hire you? Erm we ARE working for your daughter, yeah.
We're just We're just trying to put her mind at rest.
Perhaps I overreacted last night.
Please, tell her I'm sorry.
I was surprised to see her and when she asked about her mother, Leah What did you make of the letter she was sent? Just some crank, no doubt.
It's a town full of actors.
There's no shortage of nutters.
When she disappeared, did you contact the police? Not at first.
Look, my marriage wasn't perfect.
Sometimes we'd argue and Leah would go back to her parents for a few days.
So when she didn't come home, I assume that's what had happened.
Did you argue often? Leah was 12 years younger than me .
.
just 23 when she got pregnant.
Perhaps she wasn't ready to settle down, but I loved her with all my heart.
Does Emilia think that I was involved in her mother's disappearance? She just suspects that there's more to it than she's been told.
She's wrong, and someone's playing a cruel trick on us.
How did you get on? He stuck to the story about your mother dying in an accident.
He's not going to talk.
We need to find out who sent this letter.
Did your dad have any enemies? Dunno, but I haven't seen him for over ten years.
When I was growing up, the only other people he mixed with were other enigmatologists.
Enigma-what's? They're setters of puzzles.
Dad writes the crossword for the local paper.
There are a bunch of them that do something similar.
Really? What, and they make a living out of that? Barely.
But it makes them feel part of something.
Yeah, they used to meet up, one evening, every month.
They'd hide clues about the location in their puzzles.
It was quite childish, really.
You know where we can find any of these .
.
enematologists? There was one enigmatologist who used to babysit for me when I was little.
Yeah, a Swedish guy, Sven Svenson.
And he used to write little logic puzzles for me to do when my parents were out.
Do you remember where he lived? It might not be there any more.
Yeah, well, we've got to start somewhere, haven't we? Yeah.
All right.
Have you got your wellies? We are professionals ready for every eventuality.
SPATTERING GURGLE HE GROANS I never said Sebastian could borrow my wellies.
Sorry! We had to infiltrate the Angler's Union and I didn't want him to look Don't say it! .
.
fishy.
She said it! Hi, Sven.
I don't know if you remember me.
Amy? Little Amy! It has been years.
Yeah! I hear you are a pod person now? Podcaster.
You make a kind of radio programme? Er Yeah.
Who told you? Your father listens.
He's very proud of you.
We're doing a story about how my mum died.
Is it OK to record you? Of course.
These are private investigators.
They're working on the story with me.
Hi, I'm Luella Shakespeare.
This is my partner, business partner, Frank Hathaway.
Hello.
I received this.
Do you know who might have sent it? You recognise the handwriting? You remember Nerissa Norris? Oh, I could hardly forget her.
In the past few years, she's become increasingly, shall we say, erratic.
This is probably her idea of a joke.
Oh, it's not very funny.
I did not say it was a good joke.
I would not pay any attention to it.
Can you tell us where to find her? She's a very private person.
Oh, please.
I'm sorry, little miss.
It would be wrong for me to tell you.
The night my mum's body was found .
.
you were at the house with Dad, weren't you? There was a bonfire.
He was burning something.
He was frantic.
Out of his mind.
He was burning your mother's clothes.
Why? He was not behaving rationally.
He seemed to be furious with the world for taking Leah from him.
But I'm afraid you do not remember quite right.
It was not the day your mother's body was found.
It was the evening before.
So how did he know she was dead? I knew something wasn't right.
Let's not jump to conclusions.
Hey, Seb.
Hello.
Did you notice something? Anthony and Sven were both doing the same chess puzzle in the newspaper and they had identical maps, too.
You think they still meet up? Because if they do, that's where we'll find Nerissa.
Yes.
Although we would have to solve the puzzle to find out where they were meeting.
And I don't think Sven's going to help us with that.
Why is he? Yeah, he does that.
CROAKY: To the naked eye, I'm indistinguishable from any other old person collecting their pension or complaining to the council.
But in truth, I am an undercover agent.
Ah-ha! Recordings of my exploits could form an exciting regular strand of your podcast Just think The Adventures of Sebastian Brudenell, human chameleon.
OK.
Please don't hurt me.
You must forgive Sebastian.
His enthusiasm can sometimes come across as complete insanity.
Look, even if we can find out where the erm .
.
enema enigmatologists .
.
are meeting, how can we find out when? They always used to put the clue in the paper the same day they were meeting, so it must be this evening.
Do you know who set the puzzle? It would've been Tom.
He was a whizz at chess when he was young.
You know his surname? No But he publishes his puzzles under the pen name Graziano.
If that helps? Hey! We can work with that.
We are, after all, professionals.
Now, team.
We're going to go with Protocol 38 to trace him.
Proto-what? The one with the orchid.
The orchid.
The one with the orchid.
Now, all set? Yes.
One urgent delivery to be forwarded to the Grand Master Graziano.
And this really works? The techniques of your modern day, professional PI are more of an art form than a science.
Nothing is guaranteed.
But in my many years of experience, this particular technique has proven useful in over 37 different cases.
Let me tell you about some of them.
No, that's all right.
We might be here for a long, long time.
And I'm sure your listeners would appreciate my tales from the mean streets.
What, of Stratford? "But how did the dog get the necklace from the blackmailer "in the first place?" I hear you ask.
Well, that's where Frankie comes in.
Ooh! Courier! I first heard about the case some six months.
Thanks, Frank.
That was really great stuff.
We didn't have to wait too long, did we? Didn't we? The stakeout is the cornerstone of information gathering.
It's like being at war.
Long periods of quiet frustration followed by a brief moment of frantic action.
Like a date with Frank! Oh.
Hold on.
He's getting away.
Don't worry! Huh? PHONE RINGS Hello.
Tom.
It's Emilia Belmont.
Tom.
This is a surprise.
I can't speak right now, I'm driving.
Oh.
This is Frank and Lou.
They're helping me with my current project.
You won't be requiring that.
I'm recording a podcast.
That's your problem! We're trying to find Nerissa.
I didn't realise she was lost.
Can you help us? Can I or will I? Oh, come on.
Two very different questions.
She doesn't want to speak to you, and neither do I.
Is? Ooh, snug! Is this your work? Trifling effort, suitable only for the riff raff.
The title, Follow The Queen Is that a clue about where you're meeting tonight? How do you know about that? Because nothing in this town ever changes.
Come on.
Just give us a hint.
Or are you ashamed that your puzzle's too easy? It's a workmanlike effort, but I'm sure it's still quite beyond your capabilities.
Oh, well, then.
you've got nothing to worry about.
Very well, then.
Begin with the princes.
The rest you already have.
Good day.
Is it my turn to ask what are we doing here? Go for it.
What are we doing here? Begin with the princess.
Richard III? The princes in the tower? So if this really is the starting location, all we've got to do now is work out how it relates to the chess puzzle.
How are you at chess? There's check mate, actually, six moves from this starting position.
You terrify me sometimes.
What are the moves? White Queen to A7.
Black Pawn to H6.
White Knight to G6 Black Stop! Follow the Queen.
We use the grid on the map as a chessboard and follow the path the Queen takes during the game.
What are the moves again? White Queen to A7.
Where does the Queen move next? G7, three moves later.
There must be somewhere round here you could hold a meeting.
Perhaps they're in a submarine.
Very helpful, Frank.
Great.
Look.
Nerissa.
Oh, hello.
I'm Lou Shakespeare.
This is my colleague Frank Hathaway.
Who told you how to find me? No-one, actually.
We worked out ourselves that the group we're going to meet here tonight, you are early.
No! I come here to work.
It's quiet.
So why meet here if you don't want to be disturbed? It's that idiot Tom's idea of a joke.
He chose it to annoy me.
Why did you write to me? Ask your father.
I did.
He threw me out.
That man is his own worst enemy.
Time is not on his side.
Why? Is he ill? Very.
Which you'd know if you made the slightest effort to stay in touch.
Not even a flicker of concern.
He deserved better than you.
Why didn't you just tell me he was ill in the letter? I thought you might be glad and stay away until it was too late.
Well, why would you think that? You take after your mother! She was a worthless tramp that overreached herself.
Drained the life from your poor father and gave nothing back.
You spiteful old cow! Don't listen to her.
She's just trying to wind you up.
And succeeding.
Hope you're proud of yourself.
She had it coming.
She's always been a little brat.
So why do you want to help her? I don't.
It's Anthony who needs to banish his demons while there's still time.
Working with real detectives has given this story new weight, brought home the reality of what might have happened.
Experience has taught me that anyone can do anything in the right circumstances.
The trick is to remain detached.
See people as part of the web that surrounds them.
Crimes don't occur in a vacuum.
I think we've heard enough.
That was you, wasn't it? I know.
Emilia released the first episode of the podcast last night.
Great publicity for the agency, although not everyone was featured.
It's ridiculous.
There's no mention of me.
No-one would even know I was involved.
Bit like your acting career, then, yeah? PHONE RINGS You going to answer that? Shakespeare and Hathaway, private investigators? Sebastian, it's Viola! Darling! You'll never guess who we're working with? Emilia Belmont.
I know! I heard her podcast! She's saving my entrance until it will make the most impact.
It's about her father! Something's happened.
I'm so sorry.
The police are on their way, but we thought you'd want to hear it from us first.
I know you and your dad weren't very close, but it's just this must be so hard.
Sebastian is going to meet this friend.
She's a policewoman.
Maybe she can tell us more.
Just so sorry.
I hate to talk about practical things, but does this mean the podcast is dust? Why would I stop? Well, you've had a big shock.
Well, that man killed my mother.
His death is just going to make it harder to prove.
One of those, please, with all the frills.
Vegan ice cream.
It's expensive, but worth it to save the planet from cow farts! Sure.
Do you have any information for me? I shouldn't.
Oh, come on.
And you can say you helped out, my dear friend, Emilia Belmont.
I interviewed a witness who was there when the body was found.
Turns out she saw the man who phoned the police go through the victim's pockets before he made the call.
Did he take anything? Yeah, but she never saw what.
Do you know who he was? We're still tracing the mobile but it turns out he spoke with a foreign accent.
Thanks.
He's paying.
So the police traced the 999 call.
We're too late.
What's Tom doing here? We won't be getting to talk to Sven any time soon.
I vote we follow him.
See what he's up to.
Come on.
Belt.
This time you die.
I still have a front door key if that helps? So do you want to tell us what you were doing here? Or would you rather we showed the police our video of your attempted home invasion? GNOME invasion? I wasn't after anything that you people would find .
.
valuable.
See, the trouble is, now you've made it sound more intriguing.
What's that for? Dad's writing desk! Where did you get it from? Anthony didn't come to our meeting last night.
Sven was worried.
Went looking for him this morning.
He found the body .
.
and took this from it.
I think you should show us what it is that's worth robbing a dead man for.
I think you've got some explaining today.
You promise you'll delete it? You can watch me do it.
And you'll let me take the postcard? If we think you're telling the truth, yeah.
There used to be another member of our group, its founder, Dr Pasanio, a truly inventive man.
I don't remember him.
Of course you don't.
You're just a child when he passed away.
If I could continue Please do! Dr Pasanio's puzzles were works of art .
.
in a different league to our pedestrian efforts.
His efforts had made him wealthy.
But when he passed away, he had no heir, so when the series of four anonymous postcards arrived, we soon realised what he had done.
On the back of each postcard was a single word.
Put together, they read "Seek out my legacy.
" It was Dr Pasanio's final riddle.
The map to his fortune.
And did you find it? No.
Despite considering various theories over the years, we never succeeded.
So I came here to steal this? To preserve it! We couldn't let someone who didn't understand its value just dispose of it.
Was my mother part of this group? Hardly.
She lacked the intellectual rigour that was necessary to join us.
She was pleasant enough to look at, but that was about the extent of her talents.
So who owns the other postcards now? Sven, Nerissa and I.
I'd like to take a look at yours.
That wasn't part of the agreement.
Or I could just rip this one up.
No.
Very well.
I'll send you a copy.
I've already said more than I should.
So, please, the video! Emilia, wait! Please! Don't let him upset you.
Oh, Tom's always been a stuck up creep.
He doesn't bother me.
Well, then, what is it? Mum had a horrible life here.
And then she passed away and things just carried on as if she never existed.
They literally just waste their days playing those stupid games with each other.
This must all be so upsetting for you.
I'm sorry.
It's over.
I can't do this.
Everything I hear It just makes me furious that he will never pay for what he did to her.
I'm sorry.
The father I grew up with was a cold, brittle man, but he was also one who talks about my mother like this.
"Living without Leah was like someone "had stolen all the colour from the world.
She was my one I would never hurt her.
Is that the voice of guilt or grief? I know what I believe.
But now I don't know if the truth will ever be found because I'm letting it go.
Sorry, Mum.
I failed.
This is a disaster.
It is very, very sad.
Two episodes without a single mention of me.
Right.
Yeah, no, I was coming at sadness from a different angle.
She's lost her whole family.
Yes, that too.
She will still want to find out what happened to her mother.
If we come up with something solid, I bet we could tempt her back.
Perhaps she'd be more interested in a collaboration if she was better acquainted with my previous work.
I'm not sure you're grasping the real issue here, Sebastian.
Are you sure we shouldn't just leave her alone? Give her time to grieve and heal? Maybe.
But work is a bit thin on the ground lately .
.
and it IS free publicity.
You two are all heart, aren't you? Hey, we've got bills to pay.
She's got a mystery that's haunting her.
Do you know what I was thinking this morning when I drove in? What if Leah had found Dr Pasanio's fortune and one of the others had killed her out of greed or jealousy? Well, if she did find it, we need to see the other postcards.
See if they can help us follow the trail.
Well, the police should have finished up at Sven's caravan by now.
And he seemed to really care about Emilia, didn't he? So maybe he chose his postcard.
And Tom sent us a copy of his set that would just leave .
.
Narissa.
She's totally paranoid.
She's going to keep it close, isn't she? Sebastian, what do you know about birds? When birds do sing, hey, ding-a-ding, ding.
Sweet lovers love the spring.
So nothing then? Not a thing.
No.
It doesn't matter.
You're still the man for the job.
What job? Don't mind me.
Just here to look at the birds, not ruffle any feathers, if you'll forgive the pun.
I'll just set myself down here.
You won't hear a peep out of me.
I can't work with people around! You won't even notice I'm here.
FLASK CLATTERS I wonder why Keeler's come back again today? Oh, nice boots! Thank you.
Are they poo proof? CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY Is Mr Svenson under arrest? He's helping us with our inquiries.
But he's not a killer.
So he happened to stumble across the body of someone he knew.
Very convenient.
Look, whatever happen between them, Anthony clearly missed his wife.
A memorial bench seems like a logical place for Sven to go looking for him.
If you think you're so innocent, what are you doing here? Well, I'm not on a fishing expedition like you are.
I'm here on official business.
Oh, where's forensics, uniform? You're here to save face and to find something to prove you got the right man.
I haven't got time for this.
Listen, I'll make a deal with you.
I'll show you what we came for if you let us examine it before you take it in.
Go on, then.
No! Ah.
Here it is.
A postcard? We think this is a very important clue? Give me the book.
What? Give me the book.
The book! You said we could examine it! Yeah, that was before you tried to cheat me.
Thank you.
HE GASPS An aquatic warbler! A what? A promiscuous bird that has multiple partners.
Really? Take a look.
This is a rare opportunity to see one quite so far inland.
I don't see anything.
Over there.
Keep your eyes peeled.
Do you enjoy spying on promiscuous birds? Not usually my scene.
Shame.
Keep looking at the water! You're just a big tease, aren't you? I know what you want.
I'm very sure you don't! Why don't we find out? Oh! How did you get on? And let me speak to the yet unknowing world, how these things came about.
So shall you hear of carnal, bloody and unnatural acts.
Well, I mean, to be fair, if you're going be an actor you'd better get used to carnal and unnatural acts.
Did she take a shine to you? Let's never speak of this again.
So .
.
that's all of them.
Do you think it's relevant, that we've got a golden eagle, a silver birch, bronze shield, maybe, what? A lead statue? Something to do with the metals, maybe? HA! You all right? I made a copy of Pasanio's will.
Smug fools are off chasing a mystery, didn't even check if it existed? No mention of the postcards.
No instructions on how to send them out? Yeah.
It doesn't mean he couldn't have asked somebody to send them after he died.
There was no prize.
He left the bulk of his fortune to Leah.
Look, "I leave this money to Leah Belmont "so she can finally be free.
" Why would he do that? If he had no family, maybe he wanted to give her a way out.
I mean, it can't have been very nice for her being looked down upon by all those people.
Leah was an outcast among your father's friends, but I think she was smarter than the lot of them.
She invented Dr Pasanio's legacy.
She made up a puzzle without an answer as a punishment for the way they treated her.
She knew they wouldn't be able to resist and they'd go crazy trying to solve it.
Meanwhile, she takes her daughter, disappears with the inheritance.
Except she never got the chance, because only a few weeks after the doctor died, her car came off the road, either by accident or foul play.
It wasn't an accident.
What we haven't considered is the crucial role of the office staff in a breakthrough such as this.
For what it's worth, Leah had your father's friends chasing their tails for 20 years, searching for money she already had.
Yeah, I suppose that is a kind of justice, isn't it? I'll drink to that.
Shall we? Shall we go to the pub? Frank? There's good news and bad news, but the bad news We were wrong.
The good news? We're definitely going to the pub.
Da-dahhhh! So sorry.
Sometimes he forgets to take his medication.
The reason your father's friends couldn't solve the riddle was because they didn't share my particular lifestyle choices.
Which is how they all managed to hold down jobs.
I used to drink here in the '90s.
Back then, the sign was a duck, in a field.
by a lake.
No! Yes.
So what's the second one then? Am I the only one who hasn't gone completely mad? Your turn.
Would someone please tell me what's going on? Look where they're sent from.
They're all from different places.
Yes.
It's not the pictures or the message that's the clue.
It's the postmarks.
The first one's from Duckenfield.
Literally, a duck in a field.
So a pub sign.
And then it's Gun Hill.
Bingo.
Look, what's this? What is it? I don't know.
What's the next postmark? Chapel Avenue.
And then it's Golden Lane.
Hey, you know what there is in Chapel Avenue with a big gold sign? Somewhere you might STORE something? It's all right.
You don't need to answer.
He IS going to tell you anyway.
Any joy? Yes.
It was a ticket for something that had been pawned.
But then why didn't it have the shop's address on it? Because it was no normal ticket.
In exchange for a large retainer, the shop agreed never to sell the item.
What's wrong? It was my mum's.
Emilia, what is it? Dad was telling the truth.
So Leah did die in an accident? No.
No, it's not that.
But it's all he ever told you, isn't it? That's not true, is it? On your podcast, there's a clip of Anthony that wasn't in the recording you originally played us.
You went to see him again, didn't you? What did he tell you? He found me at Mum's bench.
I was so sure he'd done it and he wouldn't confess.
I made it clear that I would never let this rest, so .
.
he told me the truth.
I listened to your show.
Heard your lies.
They're not lies.
Living without Leah was like someone had stolen all the colour from the world.
She was my my one.
I'd never hurt her.
Well, we both know that isn't true.
You killed her.
I didn't kill her! She left.
She didn't want us any more.
Dad, there was a death certificate! It was a fake, in case you ever started asking questions.
Well, no, Dad! She would have taken me with her.
Wouldn't she? It took me three weeks to track her down.
She said she didn't want anything to do with either of us.
She was adamant.
The next day, I invented the car accident and told people she'd died in it.
You'll say anything, won't you? You disgust me telling a lie like that to try and save your own neck.
She left this ring as a last, spiteful taunt in case Dad ever solved her puzzle.
It was you, wasn't it? You killed him.
I don't believe a word you say.
It's the truth.
Please don't walk away from me again.
I didn't mean to hurt him.
All this time, he was remote because he was heartbroken.
And I killed him for a kind life .
.
for not telling a little girl her mum had abandoned her.
What happens now? I don't suppose we can just pretend that we never had this conversation? I came here thinking that Stratford wasn't my home any longer.
Wanting that to be true, but now I see that this place has shaped everything that's happened in my life, even when I was somewhere else.
Apparently, my father used to listen to this podcast.
It breaks my heart that he won't ever hear this final episode, won't get to know how very sorry I am.
If she gets sent down, do you think she'll need someone to take over the podcast? Reassuringly self-centred of you.
She needs to think about these things.
She could train me up while she's out on bail.
How do you get from manslaughter? We should go meet her.
Without me? I think she's been through enough, don't you? What are we doing here? Well, now that we're famous detectives in the Pod-iverse Yeah, that's not a thing.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
.
.
We thought we'd use our powers for good.
Yeah, we've .
.
we've managed to track down somebody we think you might quite like to meet.
Who? No.
No, she said she wanted nothing to do with me.
Look, she was so much younger then.
A lot of water's gone under the bridge.
Listen, you don't have to speak to her.
We thought we'd give you the option.
Thanks.