Shameless US s03e02 Episode Script

The American Dream

This is what you missed last week on shameless.
It was great.
It was all about me.
Sort of the hero's journey.
Where am I? - Juarez.
- Did I miss christmas? - You almost missed easter.
- Morning, debs.
- 137 days.
- He'll be back, debs.
He always comes back.
- Well, hello, steve.
- Nando.
You know, I was surprised to see you in the states 'cause I-I thought that the dea had you on a watch list.
They do.
So you can imagine how happy I am to come here.
I've arranged for estefania to pursue an economics degree.
I want her to be an american citizen, steve.
When immigration comes, you will be her husband.
But that means you can't get into any trouble.
- How am I supposed to make a living? Get a job.
Lost my job today.
- We gonna have enough for the property tax bill? - Just, with the check I got today.
Lip and ian left early? - They said they had to pick something up Downtown before school.
- Downtown? - What they said.
- I was hoping you'd give me a shot at assistant managing, Like we discussed last fall.
- Give me 1,000 bucks, I'll find you a night to promote.
- $1,000.
It's all there.
- Okay.
You're on the calendar.
Oh, my god.
Daddy! - think of all the luck you got know that it's not for naught you were beaming once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? round up the friends you got know that they're not for naught you were willing once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? shit! What's the matter? $1,000.
- Mm, back to sleep.
- I can't breathe.
- Maybe it has something to do with the pillow on your face.
- I gotta pay the property tax.
- All right, come here, come here, come here.
- Stop poking me with that thing.
- Thought you liked me poking you with this thing.
What was I thinking? Is this about the club thing? - I woke up having a panic attack That I was just like frank and monica taking our money, Except I wasn't even getting high with it.
- You know, you're gonna throw a kick-ass club night.
You gotta be entrepreneurial, right? Invest in yourself.
- Are you taking a dump right now? - Like clockwork, every morning.
- Jesus.
- What, I can't take a dump in here? - Not in front of me you can't.
You were in the shower.
- Yeah, and now I'm out of the shower.
- I wouldn't care if you took a dump in front of me.
Oh! What's going on? - Frank drunk looking for a bed.
Who the hell let him? - Debbie! - We begged her not to.
- He's not hot-bunking my bed.
- Why can't he sleep out on the porch? It's warm enough.
I want my old bed back.
Oh, hell, no! - Up.
Step, step.
Morning, frank.
This is my house! - It's okay, daddy.
You can sleep in my room.
Wouldn't do it, debs.
He's especially ripe this morning.
- Frank smells like dog piss.
Not dog piss! Gary the homeless guy.
- Come on, daddy.
Sweet dreams, daddy.
Hey, that's my tent.
- I'll hose it off after he wakes up.
- Debs, don't let frank in here anymore.
This is his home too.
He disappeared for months.
- And now he's back.
Milk money.
- Did you wash up after you pooped? - What are you, my mom now? - We're supposed to wash up after we poop? - Tell your girlfriend to wear clothes, lip.
Not her keeper.
- Don't look if you don't like what you see.
Hey, you going to school today? - Oh, no.
Gotta skip my first three periods, So I can start clocking community service hours.
And the last 50 bucks to the property tax, yo.
This should bring us right around where we need to be.
- I didn't put in the money from that last Toxic waste gig I had yet.
- Okay, that's cool.
Hand it over, and I'll drop it off Before I go to community service, pay the tax man.
I don't have it.
- Don't have what? - The money.
I used it to put down a deposit on a club night.
All right.
Debs, carl, let's go.
School time.
- Gotta bring daddy his breakfast first.
- Uh, but the property tax, that's already two weeks late.
- We're always two weeks late.
I'll have the money back right after the party.
It wasn't yours to spend.
- Yeah, it was.
I earned it.
- Oh.
Oh, that's how we're doing this now.
Okay, well, I'll take the money I made last week And buy an ipad.
Ian, what are you gonna do with your paycheck, huh? New leather jacket? Liam? - I have an opportunity to make some real money here, lip.
It's not that easy.
- I've been in the club business a long time.
- Yeah, sure you have.
Slinging cocktails, okay? Look, you don't know shit about promoting a club party.
- Thanks for the vote of confidence, lip.
- I'm a working man with a 9:00 to 5:00 - Hey, daddy.
Brought you breakfast.
gotta be a slave And the newspaper.
Good to have you home.
Can you help me with my social studies project? It's on the civil war.
Gotta build lincoln's log cabin.
- Deb.
- Hmm? - Too much noise.
I need peace and quiet.
I'm trying to sleep.
- Seriously? You're walking me to the curb? What, did I go back in time and turn six? - Have a good day at school, carl.
Learn something useful.
we called it love but even the sun sets in paradise I'm at a payphone trying to call home - all of my change I spent on you where have the times gone? baby it's all wrong where are the plans we You like? Maroon 5.
- What the hell are you doing here? - Have you gotten a job yet? - No.
- Nando told you to get a job.
- Listen, I don't know what it's like in brazil, But we're in a recession here.
I'll keep my eye on you from now on, okay? Excuse me? - Make sure you don't get into trouble.
We are partners now.
Wherever you go, I go.
like a married couple, huh? even the sun sets in paradise I'm at a payphone - Why they got you doing this, man? - "b" and "e," theft, and assault.
- nice.
- You? - Hit a kid with a brick.
Kinda broke his face.
- Hey, how many hours you get for that? - Shit, man, I got 120.
- Least there's always someone with some weed.
Hey, got any weed? See, what'd I tell you? - What's up with the geek squad? - Is that the fucking cast of glee? - Yeah.
Looks like a bunch of do-gooders.
- More like a bunch of gonna get their ass kicked-ers.
back in high school when I really liked you I was always just a friend Hey, meg.
- Hey.
What's up? - Wanted to get your staff list.
- Oh, yeah, sure.
That's a good idea.
- Was also wondering if we could renegotiate my split of the bar.
- 15% doesn't work for you? - I heard wendell gets, like, 30%.
He's my best promoter.
He brings in, like, a huge crowd.
It's your first gig.
It takes time.
- What if she brought her own booze? We'll get it from kev.
Make more money, it'll work out better.
- Gonna have to make it worth my while.
- We could do the same split, Except I keep the 85% and give you the 15%.
Bring your own booze.
But I want 20%.
- tattooed in my mind just like a memory when I looked in your eyes - you call me, I call you I see you every day at school yeah.
Come on, g.
Pound me like an iraqi soldier.
- Okay, you need to shut the fuck up.
oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, you're still talking? - Hey! What's going on under there? - Fuck, fuck.
- Who is it? - Probably a teacher or some shit.
I told you you were too loud.
- Look, I can't get expelled.
My parents will kill me.
- Probably hearing about the gay sex will kill 'em sooner.
Lookee what we got here.
Mickey? - Thought you were still in juvie.
Not anymore.
- You having some sort of queer-bo sex under here? no, no, I swear.
Why are you still beating me up? He was doing it too.
- You're the one taking it in the ass, right? You're the one I gotta kick straight.
It working? - Yes, yes.
- Good.
Get the hell outta here.
- You got any fuck left in you, Or you dump it all in that faggot's ass? Oh, my little chee-chee.
Please don't cry.
- Please don't cry, my little boy.
Please don't cry.
Mama's so tired.
Don't you want to give your wee lungs a-- Aah! Aah.
Oh, god, that's so loud.
Everything's so loud.
Maybe we can Have jody rub your tummy.
And mama, she can take a little nap.
I don't remember karen causing such a fuss as you, hymie.
Maybe it's from your chinese side.
- Cool, you got hymie to quiet down? Hymie! No! No! No, no, no, he's not trash! Whoa! Whoa! He's not trash! No, hymie! No, no, no, no! oh, hymie! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Hymie! Hymie! Oh! Oh, my god! Oh, my-- oh, my-- Hymie.
I'm so sorry! - It's okay, sheila, he's fine.
- No, but he was almost swallowed up by the truck! Oh, my-- I'm such a terrible mother.
- No, you're just-- you're just a tired mother.
no, no, I-- I don't deserve to live.
- Come on, let's go back inside.
- I'm such a t-- no.
- We'll call debbie to come baby-sit again, And we'll get some rest.
Okay? Come on.
- I'm sorry, baby.
- It's okay.
- No, no, no! You ever shoot crack? No.
- Ever eat mescaline-laced mushrooms? nope.
- Put a tequila-soaked tampon up your ass? - What? No, dude.
I get it.
I'm-- I'm obviously not as cool as you.
Smells good.
- Yeah, it's, um, primo stuff.
Can I buy five? Yeah, sure thing.
I'm casper.
- Lip.
- Grizz.
You live around here? About four blocks over.
I guess.
Where you from? Uh, lakeshore.
- I didn't choose it, I was just born there.
- What are you doing slumming it down here? city youth.
We're, uh, beautifying chicago one block at a time.
Good luck with that.
Those flowers-- they're not gonna last about two hours.
- Just looks good on my tufts application.
Admissions people are into you helping out the poor and shit.
Oh, sorry.
It's okay.
I'm not offended.
Hey, uh, You interested in beautifying Any other parts of the neighborhood? - Anything to beef up my cv.
- Think I may have something for you.
See if I can work it out.
- Dude, hit me up anytime.
I'm on facebook.
Casper duncan.
- You got it, casper duncan.
Man, that was good.
Missed ya.
You did? Yeah, man.
I had to do all the fucking in juvie.
Otherwise I'd end up someone's bitch, right? Nice to switch back.
- Thought you had four more months.
- Yeah, let me out for overcrowding or some shit.
Coming back to school? Hell, no, man.
I'd still be a fuckin' freshman.
I haven't passed a single class.
- Why'd you come back, then? - Fronted a bunch of coke before I went in.
Time to collect.
Oh! That's good.
So good.
- Third call this week from that same woman, kev.
- She won't leave a message? - No.
- Probably a fucking bill collector.
Can you just keep dodging her, please? Mm-hmm.
- Hi, baby.
How's the foot? It's goddamn itchy.
What are you two foxy ladies up to? - Need to bum some liquor off ya.
For her club night.
- What, they don't have booze over there? - She'll make more money if she brings her own.
- All right.
Hobble this way.
- Okay, how much you need? More than this.
- There's gonna be at least - Have you ever seen more than 20 deadbeats In here at one time? - What about your liquor distributor? Could I get the booze from them? Yeah, maybe.
Walter's a cool enough guy, for a roselli.
- What? You're dealing with the mob? You never told me that.
- Stan burned every bridge in town.
Walter's the only liquor distributor That'll do business with us.
- How much would the booze cost? - For 200 people? Top shelf? Close to 5 grand.
For well drinks, you'd probably get away with 3.
- Would he let me set up an account and invoice me later? - Yeah, maybe.
He'll do a credit check, though.
I've got perfect credit.
- No credit does not equal perfect credit.
- Do you even have a social security number? - He'll want you to leave one of the kids as collateral.
Okay, I get it.
I'll just buy the booze from him up front, then.
- Whose money you gonna use? Douche bag.
Uniform sales.
Bus driver.
Short order cook.
- How's it going, jim-nasium? - Hey, what's going on? - Can I borrow some money from you? Yeah, sure, how much? - $5,000? Pay you back after my club night? What? - Yeah, kinda strapped right now.
I got, like, uh, - Are those my jeans, frank? - Found 'em upstairs in my room.
- It's not your room anymore.
- You're cutting her jeans into shorts? - Had three pair of my own, but somebody tossed my clothes.
These are, like, $120.
I got 'em at goodwill for, like, 40 bucks! Can you go to the bank and get more money? I don't have any.
What about your parents? - I haven't gotten anything from them since I was 18.
- Really? College? - Cars, insurance.
- Okay, I haven't gotten any cash from them since I was 18.
- For two years you've been offering to give me money, And now when I ask, you don't have any? I'm sorry.
- This is why I never ask anybody for help.
I feel like a jackass now.
- Whoa, hey.
Are you mad at me? Because you get mad at me when I offer you money, And now you're getting mad because I can't? - I'll just figure it out myself, okay? - Okay.
- Let's go, v.
Frank, what the hell? I got that roast chicken for dinner tonight! - My house, my kitchen, my fridge, my chicken.
I cut these too short.
My balls are hanging out.
Nice ass.
- thought you were my history teacher mr.
- Well, sorry to disappoint.
- Hey, how was community service? Yeah, good.
I met some north side kids.
Think I can make some dough off of them.
- Yeah, gotta do what I can With my sister stealing a bunch of our property tax money.
- Well, that was cunty of her.
You know, you should be in charge of your family's money, Not fiona.
- Mr.
Gallagher, just left mr.
Healey's office.
Rumors about you two true? - Said you were supposed to ask me for a recommendation.
- Sure, in his mind, I was supposed to do that.
- A letter of recommendation from a science teacher Looks good on your college applications.
Bet it does.
- So we got 20 cases of beer, Got two cases of champagne.
I got 10 liters of vodka, six gin, four rum, Four scotch, four bourbon, and enough mixers and garnishes For, like, 200 people.
Sound about right? - Yup.
And I can return whatever I don't use? Absolutely.
Let me just tally this up here for you.
What are you doing? - ordering booze.
What's it look like? - I hope the payment doesn't involve my titties.
- Okay, my dear, I got you in at $4,857, Which includes the 10% discount 'cause you're a friend of kev's.
And I went ahead and waived the delivery fee 'cause you're a first-time customer.
How would you like to pay for this? - Check.
- Need a pen? Yes, please.
- Let me go check the schedule, See what time we'll get this out to you, okay? Mm-hmm.
- 'scuse me.
- Yes.
- Is there more than $17 in that account? - By the time the check clears, I'll have it covered.
The guy is in the mob.
You're cutting him a check trading on kev's good name? - Gotta be entrepreneurial, right? If I don't invest in myself, no one else ever will.
come in.
Oh, surprised to see you At the college counseling center, miss milkovich.
- Came to talk to you about lip.
- I'm not at liberty to discuss another student, But I'd be more than happy to help you With your future options.
You and I both know my only options Are getting pregnant or getting arrested, So cut the crap.
Then lip.
He's got a good chance of getting out of here.
- And what are you doing about it? - Encouraging him to go to college.
Doesn't seem to be too interested.
- You're a guidance counselor.
Fucking guide him.
- There's only so much I can do.
- What should he be doing? - Keeping his grades up.
Getting teacher recommendations, Finding himself a legitimate job, Filling out his college applications.
Now, you think you can help with any of that? Maybe.
- All right, stop by at the end of the day, I'll post some college brochures, You can take 'em with you.
I think you have a better chance Of getting through to him than I did, lysistrata.
What? - Show up for english once in a while, And you'll get the reference.
All right.
Let's go, buddy.
All right.
- No, I'm not black enough or drunk enough to be your daddy.
Whoa! - Mommy.
- Yeah.
- You seriously gonna keep following me everywhere I go? It's my job.
- Don't you ever have to go to the bathroom? Okay.
There you go.
Hey, este, it's me.
- Why are you breathing so hard? Gym.
You never know with you.
So beto is sitting out front.
He follows me wherever I go.
Your father told him to keep an eye on me? - Don't worry.
He's harmless.
- Who? Your father or beto? Because neither of them seemed harmless When they were dicing up marco.
- Beer.
I need beer.
Just a second, frank.
- Stay out of trouble, and you'll be fine.
- All right, listen.
I gotta go.
I gotta run some errands, make some money for fiona.
- Look, my dad is a hothead.
Blows off steam, threatens lives, And then cools down, forgets why he was mad.
He is gemini.
He will call beto off soon.
Hey, uh, 'scuse me.
What happened to all the meth heads squatting in here? Who the hell are you? - Concerned neighborhood citizen.
- Took me six months to get rid of 'em.
- Yeah, I heard there were dead bodies in there too.
- Yeah.
Four, yeah.
Coyotes got to 'em at one point.
Gonna take me eight weeks to make it livable again.
- Hey, how much you paying these guys? Too much.
- Might have a better deal for you.
- How's the pasta? - Good.
You're like our maid now.
Thanks, carl.
- Hey, debs, watch liam for a bit.
I gotta run an errand.
- No can do.
Baby-sitting for sheila.
- Carl.
- Can I stay up late and watch tv? Absolutely.
- I'm going to sheila's tonight, daddy.
A noble job, debs.
- That stupid baby's still crying? Won't stop.
- Hey, that's my toothbrush.
And thanks For sharing it with me, son.
- Oh, man! Eew! - Now that we're a family again, I want to encourage us to be all for one and one for all.
- Ew, gonna have to boil it now.
- You need the number over at sheila's? Where I'll be.
No, why would I? I'll be heading out to the alibi soon.
- Oh, and don't worry about me walking home late at night.
I have a pillowcase full of bars of soap.
Good for you.
You get along a lot better With a weapon and a kind word than a kind word alone.
Any of that spaghetti left? Oh, darn it.
- What are you doing? - Keeping frank out.
Planning to go to carnegie mellon? Please.
That's for nerds and homos.
But, um, healey thinks lip should apply.
Fat chance.
He's smart enough.
- Yeah, but too stupid to do anything about it.
I already tried.
Hey, can I ask you a question? Sure.
- How do you know if a guy You've been hanging out with likes you? You like him? - Uh-huh, but I think he hates me.
Ask him.
- Doesn't want to talk about it.
No guy ever does.
How do I know, then? - Does he get that look in his eye when he's with you? What look? - You'll know it when you see it.
- Did you know that abe lincoln lived in a one-room log cabin When he was born, hymie, And that his grandfather was ambushed and killed by indians? Some historians say that because he was cold to women, He might have had homosexual tendencies.
Debbie? Deb? The whole point of you baby-sitting hymie Was to keep him quiet, so jody and I could get some sleep.
- Sorry, sheila, he won't stop.
- Why don't you take him for a walk? - Where? - I don't care.
Just anywhere.
Just don't come back for a few hours.
Okay? Hey, what's up? Hey, where are you? I am running an errand.
Where are you? Uh, at v's, changing.
I'm gonna run by the club, talk to this promoter.
See if we can get his email list To invite more people to my party.
Good idea.
- You mind watching the kids? Got it covered.
- Thanks.
- Bye.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Okay, okay, okay, I'm out.
I'm out, I'm out.
Why you steal porsche? - I needed money to help my girlfriend.
- You have a car at home.
Sell that.
- How am I supposed to get around? - Nando will kill us both if you get into trouble.
- Okay, I promise not to do it again, okay? You betray me.
What are you doing? ow! Fuck me! Holy shit! Clean break, I think.
Don't screw with me again.
- Fine.
- Come on.
- Ow.
- I take you to the hospital, Then we go get american whoppers, huh? you've got it the way you grinding up on me I know, I know you want me you want me, you want me the way you kissing up on me I know, I know you need me you need me, you need me - Hey, meg, is wendell around? - Uh, yeah, right over there.
- the way you grinding up on me Thanks.
I'll tell you this.
For all of their laziness and lack of motivation, The mexicans are a lovely people.
- Why'd you go down there, frank? Hey, I'll take another, kev.
- Sometimes a man just has to get away, Be alone with his thoughts.
Hey! Jesus.
So what, you woke up from a drunken stupor, Didn't know where you were? - I knew exactly where I was.
Had a business opportunity With our south-of-the-border brothers.
What did you do to your foot? - It fell off.
Was the only prosthetic I could afford.
What kind of business opportunity? - I was hired to move some inventory.
Drug mule? - Only the best the mexicanos have ever seen.
- Not something you really want to be bragging about, frank.
- Which end did it go in? - Yo, frank.
Some chick's outside with a baby looking for you.
Oh, no.
- Who is it, frank? - I-I-I don't know.
But does that sound like good news to you? I'm gonna slip out the back.
Sounds like you were Slipping it out the back in mexico, frank.
- Wait, you're the chick with the baby? - Kev won't let me in after 6:00 p.
- What the hell's wrong with liam? - This isn't liam, it's hymie.
- Jeez.
Shut him up.
Sheila has an oriental baby? - I have to finish my civil war project - Jesus.
- And he won't stop crying.
You were always so good with liam.
- Give-- give him-- give him to me.
Open his mouth.
- What is that? - Valium.
- Are you supposed to give valium to a baby? - Oh, yeah.
It always worked with you.
Thanks, daddy.
- Hey, loan me 20 bucks, will ya? I only have five.
That'll do it.
I hate you! come, come, baby, yeah come, come, baby, yeah push my button, make me wanna play Your friend likes to dance.
- The tequila likes to dance.
So you think you're gonna be able To pull this off tomorrow night? hope so.
I bet you will.
Looks like you have some real talent.
- You're not talking about my club promoting skills, are you? What makes you say that? Your hand on my knee.
- I meant to put it up your skirt.
What are the chances of me Getting ahold of your email lists? - Why would I give them to you? - Mm, satisfaction of knowing you're helping a good person.
- No, I can't come inside that.
- I could give you a cut of my bar, then.
- You know how long it took me to build up my list? You honestly think I'd risk it on you throwing some lame party And ruining my brand for anything less than 50%? - Well, that's an interesting offer.
Let me discuss it with my partner.
- come, come, baby, yeah, come, come, baby, yeah - He wants 50% of the bar for his email list, And he's a giant douche bag.
No worries.
I swiped his phone from his jacket As soon as I saw his hand on your knee.
Has all his contacts.
Gotta be entrepreneurial, right? Aah! - Aah! debbie? nighty-night, hymie.
Oh, my goodness.
How did you do it, debbie? - Daddy's good with babies.
Frank? You just getting home? - Oh, hey.
Still awake? Where have you been? - Uh, emergency room.
Slammed it in the door.
- Well, you're in trouble.
You let carl stay up late on a school night.
- I think you need a spanking.
Hmm? - I can't do it with your pants on, though.
- Then I should take them off.
Very bad boy.
- I've been a bad, bad boy.
- This purdue place looks cool.
- I want mommy to show me how bad I've been.
- There's no way she's gonna Make the money back for the property tax.
- It says they're one of the top Engineering schools in the country.
- I'm gonna have to figure out a way To make up the 1,000 bucks she's gonna lose.
You listening to me? - Oh, yeah, you know, it's kind of hard With the, uh, porno going on across the hall.
- Is it wrong that it's kind of turning me on? Yeah, me too.
- Morning.
- Hey.
- Jimmy gonna come down to make us breakfast? - He's sleeping in.
Eat your cereal.
- Wore him out, huh? - You too.
Eat your cereal.
- Spoiled now.
Need an omelet.
- So, um, how's the club night thing coming? Gonna be a big success.
Probably make enough money to roll it into another one.
Take out a small loan, really get things going.
What's wrong, debs? got home late.
So the ghetto girl Thinks she can live the american dream, huh? Maybe it's my time, lip.
none of your business, mandy.
- Don't you see, it doesn't work like that, sis.
'cause when you're poor, only way to make money Is to steal it or scam it, Like don king or joe kennedy.
Daddy's home! Brought friends.
- Howdy! - Just dump-- dump it.
- That's a new floor.
- Hey, that's my bike! - Doesn't really work anymore.
- Yeah, because you bent the rim, frank.
And where's the seat? - That's why it hurt so much when I rode it.
Come on, fellas.
Get some brekkie, soak up the alcohol.
- Do you have sourdough? - Hey, this is our food! Don't be rude.
- Is this about money, fiona? Because I am happy to pay my share.
That's all you ever want from me anymore anyway.
You happy, huh? That's about $300 worth.
Come on, lads! Let's go upstairs, take a disco nap Till the alibi's open again.
Dad, no, no.
- Lip, don't.
- This is my home.
You have no right to kick me out of it.
I am an important part of this family.
No, you're not.
You don't live here anymore.
If that's the way you want it, I'll leave.
Phil, chester, I'm sorry.
My family doesn't want me here anymore.
Charge! shit! Jackass! - That's it.
Let's go! Go! - Stop it, guys! Stop! Move, move.
- Just pick a bed, fellas! Just pick a bed.
Oh, my god.
- What the hell are you doing? - Enough.
come on, get up right now.
You cannot-- - Get up! You are not sleeping here.
- No, stop! - Come on.
Get up, get up! he's not doing anything! You are not going to-- Go! - What's the matter with you? - Well, that's a piece of shit anyway.
Frank! Debs Damn it, frank, get the fuck out! - No, you cannot do this to her! Come on, get up right now.
You cannot do this.
- Get out! - Get out! Jesus! Stop! - I treated you well! And you-- - Ow! - How could you do this to me? Stop! Stop-- - Get out of my house! I hate you! I don't even care! - Jesus! Get out! Get out! Dad.
Get him out.
- Ow, god! - Debs! - Debs! Get out! I hate you! Get-- Don't you touch me! oh, my god.
Get out! - After everything I have done for you, This is the thanks I get.
- Where should we put him? - Where he belongs.
Open it up, carl! - Got it.
Whatever, you-- Jesus christ! Not funny! Not funny at all! - Gonna need you to clean the blood splatter on the walls, Evidence marks on the floor, and patch up the bullet holes.
That should get you started.
Supplies are inside.
- Shit.
You okay, buddy? - Been trying all morning to get tickets To the wilco concert at soldier field tonight.
Can't get through.
- Wilco? Aren't they for, like, dads with receding hairlines and shit? - Come on, wilco is the beacon of anti-commercialism.
- Yeah, because no one wants to buy their whiny music, They gotta give it away for free.
- All right, here you go.
It's 50 bucks a head.
That's $400.
Hey, hey, um, Is there any chance I can get an advance on the next couple days? Hey, slow your roll, kid.
I haven't seen what they could do yet.
- Senor.
- Yeah? This man stole our jobs? - No, no, I didn't steal them, I just underbid you.
- But we are illegal immigrants.
- Yeah.
How can you underbid us? - Ghetto white's the new brown.
- The what? - The new brown.
This is unfair.
- Just living the american dream, amigo! - Okay, let's keep eight cases of that beer up front, And put the rest in the back refrigerator.
- People showing up already? Can I help you? - Alderman edward gretsky, Okay.
- Throwing a party, I see.
Something like that.
Just a friendly visit.
You know, make sure you filled out all your applications.
Applications? - Business license, liquor license, umbrella insurance.
- Well, I'm sure meg handled everything that you need.
- She did.
For her business.
What? - Well, you're running the show now, right? - Well, just for tonight.
Then just for tonight I'll make an exception on the applications for Small filing fee.
- A filing fee? - Let's say $1,000.
Wouldn't want any pesky policemen or firemen Showing up now, would we? I'll come back later to collect.
Let's say 2:00 a.
How is the pinky? It's doing okay.
So listen, my girlfriend's having a party tonight.
It's important that I go.
- Is there going to be alcohol there? - It's a party, it's kind of how these things work, yeah.
- Drugs? - Maybe.
- Bad things may happen.
- Yeah, or not.
- I go with you.
Just to make sure.
- Yeah, see, that's the thing is that you can't go with me Because then I'll have to explain who you are, How I know you, that my life's in danger.
I mean, that won't go over very well.
Then you stay home.
Hey, sanchez.
- Aw, hell.
- Time to pay up.
- They let you out? - Good behavior.
- I thought I had four more months.
Think again.
- Hey, yo, campus security is coming.
- What the hell are you doing? - Didn't want you to get busted.
- I can look after myself, thank you.
- Does he get that look in his eye-- look in his eye-- Look in his eye when he's with you? - Just got outta juvie, remember? The fuck are you looking at? - Nothing.
You look great.
Thanks, debs.
You okay with what happened this morning? Frank? - Jimmy's in the bathroom puking.
what's going on? - Oh, something I ate.
It's not sitting well.
you need anything? No, I'm just bummed I can't make it tonight.
I mean, I really wanted to go.
- If you feel better later, come on over, okay? Okay.
go away.
We're not buying.
I know, I know, you want me to find jesus.
I already found him, thanks.
I'm looking for kev.
Kevin ball.
I'm his wife.
Tommy! Hey, you still got that garage? - Yeah, it kinda comes with the house, frank.
- Great.
What say you let me sleep there? What say I don't.
- Why the hell not? - Because the last time You stayed at my place, you shit in my kitchen sink.
- The layout of your home is very confusing.
No, frank.
No means no.
Fuck you, tommy.
Fuck you means fuck you.
Kermit! My best friend.
- You can't stay with me, frank.
- Wh-- what if I suck your dick? Frank.
- What if you immigrate to mexico, frank? Reverse the prevailing tide.
- Why are you even here? Should be collecting disability.
- 'cause I didn't injure my foot at work.
- Hey, let me crash at your place.
I'll tell the insurance company that you did.
- Why can't you stay at your place, frank? - Ungrateful little shits! That's why.
Things I do for them.
Blood, sweat, and tears.
This is not how a family treats each other.
Hang on.
It's for you.
- Hey, baby, what's going on? What? No, yeah, okay.
Okay, I'll be right there.
Watch the bar.
- Little redheaded bitch is the worst of 'em.
Expect it from the others, but not from-- Not from-- from Her-- debbie.
Orphan annie turned on me.
That's how I got all these bruises.
She hit me.
With a bat.
Now, I can't touch her.
That is child abuse.
I'd get reported.
Operator, can you connect me with child welfare ser-- Services? Yes, hello.
I would like to report, uh A- a negligence situation.
Six kids living in squalor.
No parental supervision.
When the father is there, he's drunk.
He hits them.
Not-- n-not that they don't deserve it.
They're all criminals, delinquents, vio-- what? No, if it's all right, I would like to remain anonymous.
No, thank you.
And god bless you.
That is an all-time low.
Even for you, frank.
- charge amex, see, no limit like you got an "a," score credit living that american dream you could be a celebrity when you step on the scene I know you gotta look hot you and your girls with dresses turn that sound up you are in the limelight until they cut your power out shopping like a rich girl rich girl, like a rich girl shopping like a rich girl Hey, v, where are you? This place is insane! We did it! like a rich girl credit card, max it out Hey, is this the club Where wilco's gonna play a secret concert? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's, uh, - I'll park it myself.
- Cool.
Uh, just pull over right down there.
That lovely lady will show you to your spot.
Have fun.
- Yo.
- Hey, lip.
- How you doing, man? - Good.
Got your text about the impromptu wilco concert.
Tweeted everyone I know.
Thought you might.
Hey, hop out.
I'll have someone park your car.
- Thanks.
- Cool.
- How long we doing this for? - Figure we park about 30 more cars, Make enough money to cover the property tax, At which time people will probably start to realize Wilco's not playing at fiona's club.
Then we bolt.
- Where am I supposed to go? Just-- just shake him.
- You're not supposed to shake a baby.
- I know, but maybe it'll make him stop crying.
- Yeah, because his brains will get scrambled.
- They already are! - Sheila! - I'm just saying maybe it'll Scramble 'em back together again.
Howdy, folks.
You need help with that baby? - Frank? - How'd you get in my house? I still have a key.
I- I-I got a proposition for you, sheila.
- What? No! - Frank, you have to leave.
- No, let me stay, and I'll be your wet nurse.
I don't mean your wet nurse, that involves breast-feeding, But your nurse, your baby nurse.
Room and board, you'll get eight hours of sleep a night.
I can promise you that.
- Debbie did say he was good with babies.
- There, you see? My reputation precedes me.
Just give me five minutes.
Aw, hell.
Give me 30 seconds.
If I can't put this little tyke to sleep, I'll-- I'll leave, pronto.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, oh.
I got you.
Raised eight kids myself.
I know what I'm doing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here you go.
H- how-- How did you do that, frank? - I think I'll take a shower before bed.
Just over 10 grand.
That's not bad.
So 15% for you.
- I thought we agreed on 20.
Thank you.
- Take mine anytime you're ready.
Look forward to doing business with you in the future.
- This is to cover my booze.
And that leaves me with 2 grand.
- Didn't forget about us, did you? Of course not.
Thanks, fiona.
- do you want my love, boy? do you want my love? - Five, six, seven, eight $900? That's all I have left? - That's not bad for your first gig.
- But that doesn't even cover my deposit.
I lost $100 doing this night.
- Surprised you didn't lose more.
It took me, like, eight gigs before I saw a profit.
You gotta pay your dues.
do you want my love? Hey.
What's going on? - Can I sleep here tonight? Sure.
How'd you do? - It's gonna take a while till I start making money.
Almost all of it.
I'll get the rest, I promise.
- Ah, keep it.
- What? - Well, if you're gonna gamble our money, You should hold onto it, right? - I was trying to better our situation, lip.
Oh, congratulations.
You risked everything, And you didn't even break even.
- It was my first time doing this.
That's not the point.
You made a decision without consulting the rest of us.
- I'm in charge of this family.
- Really? No, sorry, that's-- that's news to me.
You see, fiona, if we're gonna be every man for himself, This family is going under fast.
- Here, just take the money, okay? Pay the property tax.
I'll get the rest tomorrow somehow.
No, I don't need it.
What? - I took care of the situation myself.
how? - Told a bunch of north side kids That wilco was playing at your party.
It's like I said.
The only way to make money when you're poor Is to steal it or scam it.
But hey, um, let me know if the rules are changing, right, And you're gonna pull this shit again? Maybe I'll have to take over the family money, huh? - Are we sure about this? - He raised six great kids.
Look at him.
He's like the baby whisperer.

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