Shameless US s05e11 Episode Script

Drugs Actually

For those of you who were too fucking busy, this is what happened last week on Shameless.
How are you doing? In general or about us? Us.
Confused.
You? Same.
There's a policy against fraternizing with the professors.
I don't want to fraternize.
I-I want to fuck you.
Sweetheart? - It's my husband.
- Her and her hubby, they have this agreement.
You know, they're evolved.
This is Lip.
This woman is just tearing me up.
I just can't shake her.
This that doctor from the other day? - Cancer? - Stage three pancreatic.
- When did you find that out? - Ten minutes ago.
Drugs, companionship, pro bono sex.
What more could a dying woman want? Can I just crash here? I got nowhere else to go.
Go home.
Make up with your wife.
It's time.
Did Theo say something? Can't leave the fucking state to be with my son.
I'm not gonna leave until I know you're okay Go home.
I called this afternoon to check.
It turns out they have been looking for Ian for a while.
Why, Sammi? Retribution.
Aah! - Ian.
- He didn't do anything! It's a shame when someone you love gets taken away.
Isn't it? Think of all the luck you got Know that it's not for naught You were beaming once before But it's not like that anymore What is this down side that you speak of? What is this feeling you're so sure of? Round up the friends you got Know that they're not for naught You were willing once before But it's not like that anymore What is this down side that you speak of? What is this feeling you're so sure of? I never liked the smell.
Every man, woman, and child should experience a single malt before their time is up, and it can't just be any bottle.
Every whiskey is different.
Can I help you? Uh we got this covered.
You see, there's the Lowland area, Highland, Islay, Campbeltown.
You have to factor in age, what kind of oak they use to-- What's your most expensive whiskey? Let's see, I've got a 30-year Highland Park for 300 and change.
Mm-hmm.
That's the best? I've got a Macallan '39 in back.
Distilled while World War II was breaking out.
Mm.
Only bottled a limited number.
H-how much? $10,100.
You're serious? It's for investors, but, um this Highland Park is a true whiskey-- We'll take the whatever you said from World War II.
The Macallan? Right.
I said I'll take it.
Uh excuse me.
Throw in a couple of those Dominican cigars over there.
I'm sure it's good hooch, but for ten fucking grand? I'm not gonna be alive to pay off my credit card.
What does it matter? Such wisdom from one so young.
Sean, everything okay? You're late.
I'm not late.
I had to meet the new produce supplier.
Uh I-I'll be right there.
Look, I wanted to make sure you're okay-- Yeah, I'm fine.
You helped me through some shit, and I'm grateful.
No, what I'm trying to ask has nothing to do with you.
Well, how could that possibly be when the world revolves around me? Look, I have to leave early, okay? I have to leave in a few minutes, and I just wanted to make sure you're okay with it.
Sarah's gonna take my tables.
Are you okay? Yeah.
It's just a nice day to visit my brother in military prison.
Okay.
Oh, and Ian won't be making his shift tomorrow since my heinous cunt of a half-sister called the fuck-- Oh, shit.
Yeah, thanks.
Oh, yeah.
It's just a-- It's a bunch of little shards.
Here, let me clean you up.
Come here.
So what did Ian do? Joined the Army last year, and it didn't go well.
Hand.
Now they're charging him with being AWOL and-- aah.
Aah.
And? Destruction of federal property.
Something to do with a helicopter.
And they don't know that he's bipolar 'cause he won't tell them 'cause he barely admits it to himself.
Where are they holding him? An army base in north Chicago.
- Just hold still.
- And his boyfriend was supposed to take us, but now he can't because his brothers are using their car for, I don't know, I'm assuming a a bank robbery or a driveby.
Meanwhile, I'm fantasizing about setting Sammi's fucking clothes on fire while she's wearing them.
I mean, she ratted Ian out and put Carl in juvie and-- Yeah, quit-- quit twitching.
Just breathe.
All right? Did you get any sleep last night? At least an hour.
Mm.
Here's what we do.
We take the day one moment at a time.
Sarah closes out your tables, I pull glass from your hand, you refrain from setting people on fire, then we grab my Cadillac, pick up your family, go visit Ian, all right? Hold still.
You don't have to do that.
Damn right.
It's nice of me.
Mm.
Hey, so, uh What is cocktail attire? What? Well-- well, that party tonight, you said it was, uh-- you said it was cocktail attire? Were you thinking about that while I was on top of you? No, no, no.
It was when I was on top of you, and then that part where you arched your legs above my head.
Don't worry about the clothes.
There's a friend of mine that I want you to meet.
Yeah? Who's that? Well, he works at an aerospace lab.
Could get you a job someday.
No shit? Mm.
Hey, you, uh you take all your student flings to go meet your friends, or am I special? Is there a right answer to that question? Oh, shit.
I gotta go.
Class? Gotta go see my brother at the army base.
- Mm.
- Catch a train.
To where? Uh, Great Lakes.
North Chicago? Yeah.
Hello, my love.
Hi, I-- well, I'm here with Lip, and he's heading to the army base near the Great Lakes train station.
When are you leaving? Would you? Okay, I'll tell him.
Bye, love.
So my husband is on his way to Waukegan in ten minutes.
He says to meet him at 59th and Dorchester, and he'll give you a ride.
Uh yeah.
You know, good, thanks.
See if it's safe to leave? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, hey, wait, wait, wait.
What the hell is that? Shipping crate.
You moving? In my dreams.
Want me to come in with you? No, it's faster if I just run in and grab him.
Everybody ready? Mickey's upstairs.
Lip's meeting us there, said it was easier to take the train.
Mickey! I called the army base, but they won't let me talk to Ian.
Are you ready to go on an adventure? You ready? Let's go.
What are we doing about Sammi? She's here? Mm-hmm.
That's how you know.
She drinks our soda and leaves the cap off.
Bitch is in the basement packing her shit right now to head upstate.
Her moving crate out front.
We can't just let her go.
For Carl's sake and Ian.
She has money for a moving crate? Excuse me, coming through.
Need a little help with that? No thanks.
Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure, you inbred, hoodlum piece of wet dog shit.
But if you have something to say, go ahead.
I didn't think so.
Then excuse me while I go visit my son, who, thanks to all of you, is in juvie and will probably celebrate his 14th birthday there.
After that, I'll finish packing, and then morning, I'll be gone.
That work for you? You bet.
Family sucks ass.
You commute all the way to North Chicago on this? It's only 40 minutes.
Thanks.
Yeah.
There's puree over there for your son, uh-- Ah! Okay, last time.
Tell me his name.
Yevgeny.
"Yevgenena.
" Got it.
You stay here now? I guess so.
You still need me, yes? I cook, I clean, wifely duties.
I sleep on couch.
Wifely duties is? Oral manipulation of penis.
No.
No, no, no.
See, I can see how you think how oral manipulation is no biggie, but for people who haven't handled, like, a lot of dicks, a million dicks-- they don't think that way.
You want I ask V? - Absolutely not.
- Ask what? What? Oh, just if Svetlana needs to watch the girls.
Now that you and Kev are back together.
Oh, we're not back together.
When I asked him why he was here, he said it was because he got kicked out of the dorm.
That's what happened.
What, am I missing something? Having nowhere to go and getting back with your wife because you want to work on your relationship? Two different things.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, you want to get back together? Not like this.
But I do want to work on the relationship.
Not what you said.
But that's not the question you asked! Well, I shouldn't have had to.
Okay, I didn't realize that when you asked, "Why are you here?" it meant, "Do you want to get back together?" Because when you say that, those words, to me, have a normal meaning.
I didn't know it had a secret meaning, but we cleared that up now.
V, come on.
Paco.
Hello? V, got a broken water pipe here.
It's real bad.
Where? Well, did you call the plumber? Busted pipe in the main room.
Oh, shit.
All right, we'll be there whenever we can.
We should go deal with this.
What, we're going together? Yeah.
Not "together" together.
Yeah, well, I meant that too, all right? Excuse me while I go get my tools.
You do that.
I'm not a religious man, per se, but this whisky will make you believe in God, maybe even talk to him.
No, no, no, no.
Wait, no, fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck! Who are we hiding from? My family.
My sister as much as told me they're planning an intervention.
She has a key to my apartment.
They're probably going up to wait for me, ambush me.
What kind of intervention? They want to drag me to the hospital for treatment.
I told them I'm not going, but my sister thinks that when I learned I had cancer, I had a mental breakdown, and now I'm drinking with an old homeless man.
That part is true, but-- I'm not homeless.
I told you, I have a home.
I'm just not welcome there.
Should we go up to the roof? It's a nice place to drink.
Most places are.
Hi, Fiona Gallagher, here for Ian Gallagher.
IDs.
Charming.
Bottom line, Sammi's a fuckin' snitch.
I know people who take that shit real serious.
What do you mean? I mean people who will slip that bitch a roofie, strap her to a chair, and pull her fucking teeth out.
Huh.
Whoa.
Is he serious? 'Cause I'm on parole.
Much as I might like to, we are not torturing Sammi.
Nice scooter.
Get back in the vehicle, now.
Jesus, keep your shirt on.
Thanks, Theo.
GI Joe's not fucking around, huh? Man's got a rifle.
Just want to point that out.
You warm the cup with your hands, like this, and swirl to release the aroma.
Inhale and sip.
That's good shit.
Course it better be for ten Gs.
It tastes like the inside of a barn.
But in a good way, right? Ugh, ugh.
Woman after my own heart.
Oh, God.
Ugh, now they're calling.
Thought you got rid of that phone.
My sister got me another so we'd stay connected.
And dying is lonely.
I just wish she understood.
You want to feel alive up until the day you croak.
Yes, that's it exactly.
I've always been so cautious.
But there's no reason for that anymore.
Ahh.
- Oh, oh, oh, easy.
- Oh! Ohh.
Frank, look at this view.
Uh-- Little windy today.
Ahh.
Okay.
Three, two, three.
I did-- did-- I took ballet till I was 12.
Fourth position.
F-fifth position.
Pirouette.
Oh! Oh, no, no, no, easy, easy.
Hey.
You okay? Come on, let's get you off of this-- Jes-- Jesus! Oh! Oh! Frank! Oh.
Oh, are you okay? I dropped my cup.
I know, it's okay.
There's plenty more.
Yeah, yeah, that's only about Oh, Frank.
Hey, I tell you what, let's get off this roof, and get our feet on solid ground, okay? I know! Let's get crack.
Private Ian Gallagher, enlisted as Phillip Gallagher, has been accused of having gone AWOL, theft and sabotage of government property, and falsifying a federal document, specifically an application to join the United States Armed Forces.
The AWOL charge alone carries a maximum penalty of up to five years in prison.
I'm Staff Sergeant Nathan Kipps, investigating officer.
It is my job to determine the circumstances of these crimes.
Tomorrow morning, I will make a recommendation as to whether Private Gallagher will face a court-martial.
You decide? Excuse me, sir, Ian is clinically bipolar.
The army should not be court-martialing him.
If anything, you should be helping him.
This diagnosis was made by a doctor? Yes, yes, sir, and we can get you those medical records too.
When was the diagnosis made? Recently.
But he's been acting crazy for longer than that.
Yeah, at least this past year.
How would you characterize his behavior? Compared to how he used to be? He's different.
He'll go back and forth from, you know, being depressed to, you know, incredibly wound up.
I mean, he ran off with a baby for no reason.
He almost hit me in the head with a baseball bat.
Our mother was bipolar, so we know what it looks like.
She put us through hell, and-- I'm not saying that you put us through hell, but when they're manic, they can be destructive.
In your opinion, does he require medication? Yes.
Is he unable to care for himself? Sometimes, yes.
Holy shit.
Niagara Falls.
Is the plumber coming? Said he could close the pipe, but you gotta get a flooding service here to dry off the walls and the floor.
Gonna be five grand.
To mop up water? Shit, I can mop up water.
No, no, no, we're gonna do it ourselves.
This happened to us last year in the bathroom, and all I did was tighten the-- Oh, what do you call the-- ah, you know what I'm saying.
You still need me? No, man, you're good.
All right, I'll text Svetlana, tell her we're gon' be a while.
You know, having a Russian sex worker isn't ideal for childcare.
Yeah, but she does come in handy.
You didn't fuck her, right? What? I was just checking.
Hell no, I would never fuck Svetlana.
Or let her blow you? You let that bitch give you a blowjob? Seriously? Well, that's one way of looking at it, but I was practically a bystander.
If my dick wasn't physically attached-- Her and her wifely duties.
Bitch is full service.
I should have known.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
"Wifely duties.
" Did she say that to you? Holy shit! You had sex with her too! V, that-- that is really hot.
But if you're still angry, so am I.
I'm more angry.
Are we even now? Does that cancel each other out? Drop it.
Got it.
But let me ask you one thing.
Svetlana went down on you, right? Or was it kinkier than that? You want details? Hell yeah.
Me and another woman getting hot and heavy, doing dirty, nasty things.
- Oh, baby.
- Well, we're not together, so you don't get stories.
Tighten the damn pipe.
Oh, nice.
We're closed, Tommy.
Oh, come on, V, we don't mind a little water.
Besides, I got a sump pump at the demo site.
I'll bring it by, if you want.
Really? What's he doing? Shut-off valve's out back.
I know the shut-off valve is out back, but this is a lot better than it was before.
Oh.
Fuck! Whoo! Make it rain, Kev! Five years? And that's just for going AWOL, all because of Sammi.
Army guy gets it wasn't Ian's fault, right? I don't know.
We'll know tomorrow.
Hey, you got room in there to take me to the train? Always room in a Caddy.
Thanks.
So it went okay? Did our best.
Sorry to make you wait.
Not at all.
Uh, give me a sec.
Hi.
Hey, I just have a minute, but I got some news.
Okay.
The-- the tour's off.
I've been opening for Camille, and the lead singer has nodes on her vocal chords, so one more gig and we're headed home.
Wow.
When are you back? Couple of days.
You bummed the tour got cancelled? No.
How come? I mean, if we're gonna figure out how we feel about each other, we should be in the same city.
You've got a point.
It's always hot Everybody comfortable? No.
Put Liam on your lap.
Come here, buddy.
Come on.
Out of touch This, my friends, is how we properly maintain a broken pipe.
Oh, you're a genius, Tommy.
All right, so the pump should drain the water.
Get all your fans together.
I got some fans in the back of my truck, we'll bring 'em in here and dry the place out.
Now, this is gonna get me free drinks for a year, right? Yeah, right.
More like a week.
Top shelf? Top shelf here is the cheap shit, just on a different shelf.
Yeah.
All your outlets are shorted.
I'm gonna go look for a place to plug in.
Kev, you're in charge of the hose, all right? Right.
I know this sucks but it's kind of nice that we're doing this together, even though we're not together.
There's something I should tell you.
It's not a big deal.
Just so it doesn't come up later and freak you out.
What, you had a threesome with Svetlana and Fiona.
No.
I went on a date with a guy.
A date? It's no big deal.
I didn't even make it to dinner.
What about you? I didn't date anyone.
Did you fuck anyone? Who? Just girls at the dorm.
Girls? More than one? I didn't even enjoy it, okay? And what was I supposed to do? You left me, and dating's worse! How the fuck is dating worse? Dating is the first step to a relationship.
Sex is the first step to-- you know sex.
V, let's not fight, okay? Let's not argue.
Can we just talk about our feelings or some shit? Do not touch me, Mr.
"I let Russian whores blow me then I fuck random coeds.
" And I felt bad about dating Eddie Murphy.
I'm a fucking idiot! Eddie Murphy? Thanks for picking me up.
What happened? I'll tell you on the way.
Did you say your family lived near Hamilton Park? Yeah, yeah, why? The party might be near your house.
Oh, seriously? Yeah, that's right around the corner.
Thought so.
In the 'hood, I thought your social engagements would be a bit more-- Upscale? Yeah.
Well, the host is a realtor.
He says the area's up-and-coming.
I could've driven with my family.
But I brought you cocktail attire.
It's a Hugo Boss jacket, shirt, and tie.
Hey, you need a lift out there again tomorrow? No, thanks.
I'll have my own car.
You get roofies, I Google waterboarding.
I say we put battery leads on her nipples and light her up like a fucking Christmas tree.
- Huh.
- That was really nice of you.
Oh, I agree.
Man, I've been with you since 11:00 AM, haven't seen you eat.
I was going to Patsy's to close.
What if I were to cook up some steak and eggs, hash browns? You can vent about your day.
They're invited.
Debs, you hungry? No.
You okay with Liam if I go out? Yeah.
And no torturing Sammi, right? Debs? Looks like everything's pretty much handled on this end.
Should we ask him? They won't have crack, they're winos.
We'll try up by the overpass.
The worst part about crack is long term addiction, but I won't be around for long-term anything.
And when you think about the drugs they would have me on at the hospital-- What did you say the survival rate was for your kind of cancer? And that's getting treatment, right? Mm.
What about remission? What about people who aren't cured-- What's your point? Just thinking out loud.
You ever talked to someone getting chemo or radiation? They feel like someone's clawing at their teeth from the inside.
They can't remember what day it is, or keep their eyes open.
They lay in bed all day and get bed sores that don't heal.
Is that how you would want to spend your final days on this planet? Believe me, I'm at peace with my decision.
I am with you all the way.
Let's go to the overpass.
I used to be afraid of train tracks.
Now it feels good to stand on it, go against my ins-- instinct.
Oh, my God, feel my heart pound.
How about that.
Let's have sex.
Really? On the tracks.
There's no one around.
- Well, th-- - Yeah.
That wouldn't be my objection.
I'd have sex with you anywhere.
Just-- it seems that this particular location is fraught with unnecessary peril.
Yeah.
If you want to stop, just tell me.
Ooh.
I do like what they've done to it.
You know, if they ever go past that picket fence, they're gonna get fucking carjacked.
Let me go find Norbert.
Who? Oh, uh, no, I'm okay, thank you.
- Ah.
- Hey.
Oh, Dr.
Wallace.
Thanks for the ride today.
Yeah, I didn't realize you were coming tonight.
Oh, no? Hey, listen, I know the two of you, you have an understanding you know, but if it pisses you off to have me around here, you can-- you can just tell me.
Well, I appreciate that, but I have no problem with-- Is that my tie? So Norbert, my friend from the aerospace lab, didn't make it.
Oh.
After I talked him up.
Eileen.
- Oh, Bill.
There's our host.
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, and Eileen.
Lip, this is Bill, and that's his wife Eileen.
Um, as in "lip"? Yeah, yeah, that's it.
We were saying how much we love the house.
- Yeah.
- The detail.
Mm.
Just finished the remodel.
Course, everyone thinks we're crazy for moving here.
Not a street you want to walk alone late at night, hmm? I know, this is pretty scary, huh? Mm, but that is changing.
There's a coffee house down on Maple Drive and a yoga studio.
Lip grew up down the block.
Really? Oh, that must have been-- Well, what do you do now? Oh, I'm an undergrad.
Oh, good for you.
That's impressive.
Yeah? How come? Well, I just meant that-- I-I like, you know, coffee, you know, but the-- the coffee shops and yoga studios, you know, they-- they make it so the people I grew up with, you know, they can't afford to live here anymore.
You know, so-- so the neighborhood's getting nicer, but it's just not really the neighborhood anymore, you know? Um, listen, excuse me, I'm gonna go-- I'm gonna go get a smoke.
It was nice to meet you.
You too.
Is that us? 'Cause the tracks feel like they're vibrating.
I don't know, but it feels so good.
Yep, that's a train.
Oh! What do you-- what do you say we take this party and move it a few feet that way? Not yet, no.
What? No, I'm gonna come.
Oh! Oh! Ah! Ah! We gotta go! - Bianca.
- Oh! Oh! Almost there! Almost there! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Yeah! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! That was amazing! Oh, I could feel it in my nerve endings.
Couldn't you? - Listen.
- In my-- - We should clarify something.
- Okay.
Because for me, personally, part of feeling alive is being alive! What? I thought-- I thought-- I thought we were on the same page.
Since I'm dying and you're an aging alcoholic with no purpose-- no offense-- I thought that we both wanted to be doing something crazy when we go.
I was talking about enjoying life.
- Yeah.
- Not ending it! I have a brand new liver! I'm not ready to slice it into pieces! Oh.
Oh, Frank, I'm so sorry.
It's-- it's okay.
It's okay.
- The sex was great.
- Yeah.
I think it could be great without the train.
Probably not, but what's important is that we understand each other now.
Of course.
For you, no trains.
No.
And for me, what I do is my decision.
Oh, God! Why does that upset you? No! No! No! Oh, God.
The Macallan '39.
Tommy say where he wanted this fan? You don't have to talk to me.
You can just point me in the right direction.
Gonna turn the water back on! All right! Fine, ignore me.
Really mature, when we could be working through this.
Who says I want to? Oh, my God, I didn't fuck any of them more than once! How many were there? I'm not sure.
You see? That's how little they meant to me.
And is this really what we're fighting about? Because when you moved out, it was not about college chicks.
It was because I was lonely and you hadn't fucked me in a year! But apparently, you have no problem fucking other girls.
Any idea how shitty that makes me feel? Baby, I want to grow old with you.
I'm really sorry I didn't fuck you before, but I really, really want to fuck you now.
I think about it constantly.
Really? You have no idea.
Tell me.
I borrowed Lip's school computer to get online, and I found that porn that we made, and then I jerked off to it.
You did? Yeah, three times.
That's so sweet.
Ah! - Yes! Yes! - Oh! Oh! - Oh, God! - Oh, baby.
- Oh! Oh, my God.
- Oh! Oh! - Oh! Oh! - Oh.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! There you are.
It's you.
Hi, Mom.
I almost didn't get in 'cause my license is expired.
They thought I was a Muslim spy or something.
Um, well, um-- I'm glad you came.
You know, I wasn't sure you would when I called you.
Of course I would.
I hitched a ride with a tractor salesman and a gorgeous collie dog.
I'd love a dog, you know? But my boyfriend's allergic, so-- Oh-- You have a boyfriend.
Since when? Oh, yes, he's great.
His name is Walter and he's very handsome.
I'd like to meet him.
Oh, definitely.
I don't know where he is right now, but he always turns up.
When are you getting out of this place? Oh, I'll know more tomorrow, but it's-- it's good to see you.
I'm really glad you came, you know? I just-- I needed someone to talk to who gets it.
You know, the others try-- Yeah, yeah.
Does Fiona know I'm here? No, no, they don't know we still talk.
Oh.
Which is funny, 'cause they all say how alike we are.
That's probably not a compliment.
No, no, I think it is.
Oh.
Ian, there's always gonna be people that are gonna try and fix us.
And you can never make those people happy.
Like, it breaks their heart just to look at you.
Yeah, um, um, even Mickey, now.
That's your boyfriend, right? Yeah.
Yeah, you remember him? I'm sure he means well, but you need to be with people who accept you for who you are.
And they're out there.
You should never apologize for being you.
You, Ian.
I love you.
Should we dance on the tables? Well, it's an option, but I know what you really want.
You do? I do.
I'm gonna give it to you.
Holy shit, that looks good.
Gotta crack the eggs with one hand.
When you know me I know you Can I try? Oh, sure.
Oh, yeah When you know me Yeah-- No.
- Eh.
- Shit.
All right.
We'll scramble that one.
Ah, that'll be all right.
_ Hey, if Ian wants his job back when he gets out, it's here for him.
Thanks.
Eh.
I know that probably wasn't that fun today, but you did it for his sake.
I'm impressed.
I wonder if I'll end up taking care of him.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Mickey's got no idea what he's in for.
I'm scared of the idea, but-- But drawn to it.
Using other people's problems to ignore your own.
Like you're doing with me.
Yeah, kind of like that.
Yeah, we're good for each other.
Although according to NA, I'm not supposed to lean on anyone that I'm deeply attracted to.
It complicates things.
Can you hand me that tray? When a woman makes a man feel like he's needed - Like he's in love - Oh, yeah And makes him know he's wanted like-- - Oh.
- Oh, sorry, man.
Didn't see you.
Besides, the line for the bathroom was way long, so-- Oh, no, go for it.
It's-- it's not my house.
Yeah.
I would shake your hands, but-- - No, no need.
- All right.
All this fancy landscaping seems a little out of place when you consider it's kind of-- Before you go and say it's a shitty neighborhood, you should know I live right down the block.
Oh.
Then you know it's a shitty neighborhood.
Hey, you know the owner, or-- No, I just met him.
I mean, he seems nice, but that party is-- is not my scene, man.
I think I insulted the guy.
Oh.
He deserve it? Well, he moved here.
Well, then fuck him.
Let's piss in his bushes.
- Hey.
- You made it.
And you two found each other.
What do you mean? This is Norbert.
Oh, shit.
Aerospace Norbert, right? Oh.
That's how you should address me.
Look at him, he's got normal clothes on.
You made me wear a jacket and a tie.
Oh, but you look so nice.
You do look very nice.
You do.
Uh, you want to split and grab dinner? You up for that? - Yeah.
- Yeah? Okay, good.
I'll get Theo.
Oh, I'm gonna get a drink for the road.
Cool, I'll just be out front.
_ Who is it? Yo.
About Sammi-- Shut the door.
I came up with a plan.
Thought we already did that.
Shut the door.
All right.
When Sammi comes back to put the rest of her stuff in the moving crate, we put roofies in the soda.
Ahh.
When she passes out, we tie her up.
I was wrong and I'll never bother any of you again! So when will you have the roofies? I already gave 'em to her.
What do you mean? She's downstairs on the floor, passed out.
Go look.
Okay.
All right.
Ha.
No way.
How much did she have? Enough, I guess.
Let's move her to the chair.
You think family sucks ass, you stupid bitch? You ain't seen nothing yet.
Her eyes are open.
Is that normal? - She awake? - I don't know.
She's not moving.
She's breathing, right? Aw, fuck.
What? She's dead.
What? Looks like you got that car battery for nothing.
What do you mean she's dead? All you gave her was a roofie.
What is a roofie, anyway? How much did you give her? All right, look, look, she didn't drink enough to kill her, okay? She take other pills? Xanax? Percocet? How should I know? I-I mean, she does-- she does take pills in the morning.
Well, there you go.
Fuckin' pill head, serves her right.
We have to call 911.
They can bring her back.
No, hey, look, you want to get locked up? Mickey! No, I-- Give me the phone! We-- They can save her! The fuck they can.
Look at her, she's fuckin' dead.
Oh, no! Pain in the ass.
You got a hacksaw? Don't worry about it.
It gets too messy.
Ain't it past his bedtime? Liam! No, don't look! Little late for that.
Look, put the kid to bed, come back, we'll deal with this.
Come on, Debbie, go.
Go.
Night, buddy! Oh, well, lookie here.
Oh, look at you, all dapper.
We look like we just crawled out of a sewer.
Yeah, why you guys all wet? Oh, it's-- It's a long story.
What's up, man? Why you all dolled up? You at this party? Uh, oh! Um, this is uh-- uh-- Helene and Theo and Norbert.
This is, uh, Kev and V.
Nice to meet you.
You live in the neighborhood? Yeah.
Down there.
Wonderful.
We're not always this wet and grimy.
Just, uh-- Uh, listen, we were just-- we were just heading out actually.
Oh, yeah.
Cool.
Yeah.
Yeah, we gotta get home anyway.
All right, well, I'll, you know-- we'll catch up soon? - Very good night.
- Okay.
- It was nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
They seem nice.
I never thought I'd do any of that shit kids are supposed to dream about, you know? Being a doctor or an astronaut.
I mean, selling cups, that felt realistic, but-- I fucked that up anyway.
To self-sabotage.
To self-sabotage.
Is this a date? I don't know.
Could be.
Why, are you hoping it is a date? Or you're afraid we got mixed signals? No.
I like the signals.
Yeah, I'm enjoying them, too.
It's just, uh, I recently got married to someone else and then five minutes later I screwed my ex And so you've met your quota? Sort of? No I'm pretty capable of maintaining a slutty streak.
I see.
So, if you and I were gonna have something real, it wouldn't start tonight.
You sold that pretty well.
Good! Good! - Yeah.
- Can I get more hashbrowns? Yeah, yeah.
So when does the quota reset? 'Cause, um, I'm free tomorrow night too.
Fucking gross.
When's the moving company pick this shit up? You're asking me? I'm just saying, if it's days, she's gonna smell-- Ah! Fuck! Mickey, Debs.
This is Bianca.
- Hello.
- Say, is, uh, Lip at school? He's not in his room, is he? No.
What's in the crate? How the fuck should I know? You were locking it.
I wasn't locking it.
I never touched that lock.
Get your eyes checked.
It's true, I was right here.
He never touched it.
Okay.
I don't feel well.
We'll be inside.
What the fuck's a girl like that doing with Frank anyway? Same beat, y'all Just keep that same ol' beat, y'all Lord, that's plenty It feels so good to be this high Oh, baby Lord, don't stop now Oh, honey play it funky, y'all I like that, y'all Just give it just like you got it - Are you ready? - Yes! Are you ready? - Yes! Just keep that same old beat, y'all Ow! Everything all right? That was fun.
Too much scotch? Just cancer.
I brought you a banana and some water to help settle the stomach.
Thanks.
So, how do we do this? Uh, do I just put it in the pipe and light it? Uh Let's smoke some reefer instead.
Huh? I already tried it.
It's just that, crack really plays havoc on the old immune system.
Oh, if you don't want any, I totally get it.
I don't-- I didn't-- Can you just hold the lighter? Please.
Thanks.
Here we go.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe it.
Oh, my God.
Tired yet? Mm not even.
You sound tired.
Gus called and asked how I was doing.
I didn't tell him that we were at an army base.
Or that Ian was in trouble.
I said I had nothing to report.
I don't know why I did that.
We want people to think we live reasonable lives.
I don't mean to cast aspersions on your relationship with your husband but I'd like to point out that when I came in this morning, you told me what was happening.
In detail.
Tired yet? Frank! Frank! What? My family is here.
For fuck's sake In the room.
Morning.
My God.
Bianca, you have to come with us to the hospital.
The doctors are expecting us.
We're calling the police.
You broke into his house.
We didn't break in.
Uh, Mom? Oh, for God's sake.
Sorry.
Morning wood.
Sorry.
I have a pair of pants around if you've seen 'em.
The crack pipe is bad enough, but this guy? If you beat the cancer and learn you have AIDS-- Oh, God-- how did you even find me? Did you follow us here? - You texted me.
- What? I woke to your text this morning asking us to get you, with the address.
Even said you'd leave the door open.
- See? - No, I never sent that.
Well, someone did.
Well-- Why would you do that? What? No! I-I-I-- Oh, my God! Well, I thought maybe if we got another couple of months together or years even-- Can you blame me? We have a connection.
I am not in love with you, Frank.
Please, can you-- Can you please just wait downstairs? I'll get dressed and-- Wait for me.
I'll come and meet you.
I'm so sorry-- I'm sorry, Dad.
I'm-- I'm sorry about that.
I was high.
I wasn't thinking clearly.
There is a back stairway, yes? You're not going to the hospital? - Where are you going? - Thinking Costa Rica! Oh, my god.
That is perfect.
Just, uh, give me a couple of minutes.
I gotta-- I gotta find my passport.
My meds.
I cannot forget my meds.
Good-bye, Frank.
Dying is lonely.
We know that.
Doesn't have to be.
Do you even have a passport? Who's Diego Mustafa? I have no idea.
But it's worked before.
Scoot over.
Hi, Fiona Gallagher, here to see our brother Ian.
Ian Gallagher was released.
- Fuckin' A.
- Oh, my God.
- That's great.
- That's amazing.
Guess there's an upside to be a psycho, huh? We clear to go in? Actually, Mr.
Gallagher's not at this facility.
I need you to back it up and exit that lane.
Wait, wait, wait, where is he? Mr.
Gallagher was released into the care of a Monica Gallagher.
Fuck.
Holy shit.
Hey.
Oh, enjoy your big, empty, lonely SUV you motherfucking yuppie piece of shit! Don't worry.
We'll get another one.
Oh, yes! Ooh, Ian, come on.
Come on.
Anywhere south of here is great.
Oh, a dog.
Oh, I want a dog.
Oh! Hey, puppy.
Ooh, get warm with the dog.
Help! Help!