Shining Vale (2022) s02e04 Episode Script
Chapter Twelve: Smile
1
[PAT] Previously,
on Shining Vale
I really do know
exactly what you're feeling.
I really don't think you do.
[RUTH] Now, it's very important
you only take one
Just give me the tea. Thanks.
[JAKE] Mom, I'm popular now.
Stop! Quit screwing with me!
Get off me, asshole!
Are there side effects? Sure.
Some women, they say that they have
these really intense dreams.
[PERSON] I used to think
I saw a man with a hat,
and then he was there in my room.
[PAT] It was one affair,
and I would do anything
if I could go back
and do things differently.
And I'm trying so hard not to fuck up
what we have left,
but it's really, really hard.
[TERRY] What is this?
I shared a kiss with Kathryn Dunn.
[TERRY] I know about the affair.
Can we just forget
that this ever happened?
You are the best husband.
[TERRY] You are the best wife.
[ROSEMARY] Did you enjoy
the chocolate mouse?
[VOICE ECHOING]
It's a herbal aphrodisiac.
[TERRY] Ahoy, Patty.
[PAT] What's happening? What's going on?
[ROSEMARY] Just do what I do.
Float on the cotton raft.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
- [SIGHS]
- [DOG BARKS]
It's okay, Roxy. Mommy had a bad dream.
No more tea for me.
[SIGHS] Oh, my God!
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Terry, what the fuck?
♪
[DOG GROWLING]
Roxy, why?
[ROXY WHINING]
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[GASPS]
[WHISPERING] No.
[SCREAMS]
♪
[CREAKING]
[GAYNOR] Hello?
[CREAKING]
Hello?
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Mom, are you okay?
♪
Mom?
Mom?
[BOTH GASPING]
What the fuck?
"What the fuck" you!
[GAYNOR] It's a lip mask.
[JAKE] What the hell, everyone?
If I don't get my full eight hours,
I'm not gonna be human tomorrow.
- Sorry, Jake.
- Yeah, sorry, honey.
Thank you.
- Night.
- Good night.
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
[EERIE VOCALIZING]
♪
- [TERRY WHISTLING]
- [PAT SIGHS]
[TERRY] Hey.
- Last night was amazing.
- [PAT] What part?
My screaming, my night terrors,
or my sleepwalking?
The fornication.
Cured my limp.
Honey, please don't call it
"the fornication."
I'm sorry. The penetration.
Ugh, you're getting colder.
[TERRY] Well, we don't
have to give it a name.
I just love being deep inside you.
Oh.
Honey, language is like
a new discovery for me.
- What do you want me to say?
- Nothing.
It was a fun night,
but I just I barely slept.
I think I've been overdoing it
with Ruth's tea.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Uh, by the way,
this isn't a mental asylum,
so if you could not scream
and roam the halls after 11:00,
that would be just great.
Oh, that's on me.
Apparently, I scream when I ejaculate.
- Sorry.
- [GAYNOR] Ah
Holy fuck. Somebody hit me with an axe.
[TERRY] Who wants flapjacks?
Nothing bad happened at my game,
and if it did, I would have told you.
We're gonna be late for school,
so you wanna get going?
I want Mom to take me.
Well, I wanted her to raise me.
We get what we get.
Oh, and I wanted
a bitchy, ungrateful teenager.
Oh, I got one.
- Aw.
- I'll take you, sweetie.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
Whoa.
I'm a little woozy.
Yeah, you'll mom tomorrow.
Jake, come on.
Hey, Button, I'm actually
gonna go with you guys.
Honey, I just want to say,
I am so happy that we put
this affair behind us.
Me too.
[TERRY] Same way
I was behind you last night.
Please go.
I'm gonna be the husband you deserve!
Please don't.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Mm.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[EERIE INDISTINCT WHISPERING]
What are you doing in my house?
[GASPS] Oh, shit.
[NELLIE] Hurry, love.
Better sit down.
Here. Put this on.
What the fuck is this?
[NELLIE] Smile therapy.
Put this on and look in the mirror.
When you see your smile,
your depression goes away.
Well, I'm not depressed anymore,
and by the way, that is very offensive.
[NELLIE] Put it on
before Doctor gets here.
Quickly now.
[PAT] What kind of bullshit is this?
♪
Huh, maybe women should smile more.
- [NELLIE] Are you mad, love?
- [PAT] Not anymore.
This thing really does the trick.
[NELLIE] No, I meant, are you a lunatic?
They think I am, but I'm undercover.
I'm writing a book
about how asylums abuse women.
[PAT] Are you fucking with me?
[NELLIE] I wouldn't feck with you,
and you shouldn't cuss so much
or they'll send you to the baths.
- [PAT] Who are you?
- [NELLIE] I'm Nellie.
[PAT GASPS]
♪
Shit.
She spawned.
Jake's always been a good student,
aside from the pornography
and the human skull and his grades.
I totally get it, Principal Woodcock,
but Jake doesn't have
any human adult role models.
I understand that.
I did try to contact your mother.
In addition to the suspension,
I'm afraid you're going to have
to step down as our Sno-Cat.
What? No! That's like my whole identity.
That's that's who I am!
Okay, not anymore.
Now you're the boy who hit a goat girl.
Now go get your stuff.
We'll talk about it in the car.
This is so unfair!
- Ow!
- Go.
Sorry about that. He's at that age.
You know, we really miss you
around here, Gaynor.
Now that your parents are home,
would you consider coming back?
Uh, I kind of have
a lot of shit going on.
Stuff. Fuck, sorry.
Uh, can I say "shit"
that I don't go here now?
"Stuff" is better
while on school property.
Ah.
My house is just kind of
a stuff-show right now.
I'd just hate for you to miss out
on your senior year, you know?
Class trips, prom.
Are you still in touch
with your friend Ryan?
Uh, he lives with his cool uncle in LA,
so we don't really talk.
I'm just focusing on work right now.
[WOODCOCK] I'm gonna cut to the chase.
I'm just being selfish.
I really want bragging rights
to a student with a perfect ACT score.
And between that
and your home situation,
you're a shoo-in for an Ivy.
Shut up, Sandy!
- [LAUGHS]
- [BELL RINGING]
"Principal Woodcock" is better
on school property.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[OLIVIA B]
Isn't that Gaynor Phelps?
I heard she got knocked up.
[BERT] That's why she dropped out.
[OLIVIA K] Crazy just like her mom.
- [STUDENT] What a slut.
- [STUDENT] Total whore.
- [NEIL] Hey, Gaynor!
- Fuck off.
I was just wondering if you're
coming back to Chastity Club.
Oh, uh, sorry, Neil.
No, I'm I'm not.
Well, you wanna go out?
I heard you do it,
and my stepdad has a van,
- and we can do
- I said fuck off, Neil.
- [PHONE RINGING]
- Hey, Phelps.
Uh, a few of us are going
across the street
for some margaritas. Wanna come?
- Oh, yeah?
- [KATHRYN] Yeah.
- Who's "us"?
- Uh, by "us," I mean
me and you and that's about it.
And by "across the street,"
I mean my office,
and by "margaritas," I mean cocaine.
- Kathryn.
- [KATHRYN] Mm.
[TERRY] Jeez.
Cocaine? Sounds dangerous.
And wildly addictive.
In that case, just kidding. [CHUCKLES]
Hey, no, wait. Kathryn, hold on.
I think we need to chat.
"Chat"? Ooh, that does not sound good.
I found out about the affair.
Okay
I'm not surprised.
You're very attractive,
tall for a woman,
excellent muscle tone.
But I'm married,
and we need to keep this professional.
Also, your arms must make
a man feel safe.
Thank you, I think.
But, uh, one small adjustment.
We never had an affair.
You sure about that?
Oh, yeah, I'm I'm pretty sure.
I, uh [CHUCKLES]
Went to a terrible party at your house,
got into a huge fight with my husband,
I I kissed you, you ran away,
and then I went home
and sobbed through
a two-hour Peloton class.
There definitely was an affair.
Pat and I talked about it.
Unless
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
It was
Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat
Please, just give me
a quick zap so she'll go away.
It's like a touch-up.
There's no such thing
as a mental touch-up.
This isn't a salon.
By the way, your hair looks amazing.
Is is that box color?
It's herbal tea.
It takes away the grey but also
brings back your period.
Hard pass.
I didn't get my uterus ripped out
just to have another period.
I can't give you electric shock
because you had a bad dream.
It's unethical.
Well, what if my schizophrenia
is coming back?
I mean, it would be unethical
to not fucking treat me
if I was going mental.
This is a private hospital.
If you can't pay, you can't stay.
If you really need treatment,
you you're gonna have to go upstate.
Upstate doesn't sound too bad.
Trust me, you don't want
anything to do with upstate.
They don't even clean
the lobotomy needles.
Allegedly.
[QUIETLY] It's true.
Okay. What if I pay out of pocket?
I stay here for a week
and get a full check-up.
Without insurance, it's pricey.
Well, I have a book coming out.
I'm sure I can afford it.
It's 4,000 a week.
Holy fuck.
What do poor people do
when they go crazy?
So, for some reason,
Ruth has imprinted herself
on your subconscious.
Now she's the face of your fears.
I mean, even the worst therapist
would see that as transference.
So you're saying
it's transference, right?
Me? No.
I would probably say
it's a stress dream.
Rosemary started out as a stress dream.
It's a pretty straight line
from that to
Well, it sounds like
Nellie was being helpful.
I mean, she's probably
your subconscious's way
of providing self-care.
Most women would benefit
from smiling more.
Well, Rosemary was also helpful
at the beginning.
She wrote my book
and had intercourse with my husband.
- Um
- [PAT] Come on.
I really need your help.
I can't go crazy again,
and I don't want to go upstate.
You know I wouldn't be here
if there was anyone else
I could turn to.
[DR. BERG] Mm-hmm.
I attended a seminar
where I learned a technique
that allowed me to stay
conscious in my dreams.
Find something
that you can control.
I use light switches.
When I feel my dream
is getting out of hand,
I flip the switch,
and instantly, I'm awake.
It's foolproof.
Foolproof is good.
I will try anything.
I just I just wanna be there
for my family.
Outstanding.
- [PHONE BUZZING]
- [PAT] I'm sorry.
Ah, fuck.
I missed five calls from Jake's school.
Let's keep this meeting
between the two of us.
After that incident last year
where I failed to file
the three-day hold,
I am obligated to report any
change in your mental state.
Well, then I'm obligated
to publish an essay
on how your series of fuck-ups
almost killed my family.
How does that sound, asshole?
♪
No running in the halls, Mr. Wallace!
Oh, Principal Woodcock,
I'm so so sorry.
I just got your messages.
Where's Jake?
It's all right. Gaynor took care of it.
Oh, shit. I'm the worst mom.
Maybe.
But you're a genius writer.
Shut the fuck up, Sandy.
- Oh.
- I probably shouldn't say that
at a school.
Probably shouldn't say that anywhere.
[CHUCKLES]
Would you like to step into my office?
Am I in trouble?
[LAUGHING] What? No.
Come in, please. Have a seat.
I started reading your new book,
and for some reason,
it's really resonating with me.
Usually, I find profanity
to be lazy and jejune, but
[SIGHS]
Your use of the F word is
poetic.
It's like the Ulysses
of dirty words.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Really?
You're not just trying
to make me feel better?
Not at all.
I'm in awe.
Just between us, I am also
shopping a manuscript.
It's a Eudora Welty-inspired satire
of the Connecticut gentry class.
I've got it down to 765 pages,
but I can't find anyone to read it.
Bullshit patriarchy, huh?
Would you like to read it?
- I would love to
- Oh.
But per my publishing contract,
I'm not allowed.
You know, intellectual property
and such.
Oh, well.
Darn the luck. [LAUGHS]
I really just wanted
to say congratulations.
You accomplished your dream.
- You must be so happy.
- I must be.
Why can't I be happy?
I'm already on
a near-fatal dose of lithium.
I've already rewired my brain,
so it can't be that.
Maybe I should just go upstate
and call it.
Can I tell you something personal?
Listen, I don't mean to be mean,
but uh, if this is a story
about your baby dying,
I just don't think I'm in
the right headspace for that.
Oh, no, no, no. It's very optimistic.
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
So after I delivered
my stillborn baby
Oh, Jesus.
I was what they call
a "hysterical woman,"
or as my doctor said, a woman.
And they thought that
I couldn't handle the news.
So they brought me a baby doll.
I dressed him.
I bathed him.
I I took him to the supermarket.
He really loved the supermarket
because there was that little
horsey ride at the front,
and I would put him on,
and even though he was just
he was just too little.
What are you gonna do?
I even lactated for eight months.
[LAUGHS]
Is that the optimistic part?
No, not yet. No.
I still don't know
how I got the courage,
but I went
and I picked up that fake baby
with those half-closed eyes
And threw him in the dumpster!
[DISCORDANT PIANO NOTES]
- [SIGHS]
- Holy shit.
I know, I know, but look at me now.
I am the happiest person you know.
And that
♪
Is the optimistic part.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm still on the lactating.
Pat, my point is
that you need to find your fake baby
and throw it in the dumpster.
[DOOR CREAKING]
[GAYNOR] Hey.
This happens again,
I'll punch you into the sun.
You already made me sit in
the bookstore for four hours.
Is that not punishment enough?
FYI, your son got kicked off
his sports team
- for punching a girl.
- Ow!
Stop! Mom, help!
Jake, you're grounded.
Oh, I already grounded him.
And I'm taking away his VR headset.
Well, if I hear him
playing a video game,
I'm taking his bedroom door off.
Oh, fine, then no dessert
for three weeks.
- Make it a month.
- This is insanity!
You're both out of control.
And Gaynor, if you don't go
back to school, you're grounded.
Oh, nice fuckin' try, Mom.
Uh, I don't mean to pry,
but could it be that it's your children
that are the source of your pain?
Are you kidding?
Jake just asked for help,
and Gaynor called me "Mom."
I'm putting this
in my gratitude journal.
Okay.
[GAYNOR] "I have been tortured
for so long
"with the dull, dull misery
of nothingness.
"I live unspeakably
for happiness.
And so I await
the Devil's coming."
Yeah, she gets it.
Mm.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]
[SOFT TAPPING]
♪
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
[BIRD SQUAWKING]
♪
What the fuck?
- [TERRY] Pat?
- I'm in the bathroom.
How was your day?
- Yeah, it was pretty good.
- [PAT SPITS]
Oh, one weird thing.
I told Kathryn
that I knew about the affair,
and she said there was no affair.
Isn't that weird?
[PAT] I'm taking a poo.
Can you come back?
[TERRY] Just a little confused
about who the affair was with,
you know?
Uh, listen, I need a few seconds.
I'm not done yet.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Fine.
It was me.
I fucked another guy. I am sorry.
I really I thought you knew.
Nope. Who was he?
Was it Laird?
What? No.
Some random guy.
We've already been through this.
This is why you bought me this house.
I'm gonna need help
connecting those dots.
You bought this big house
far from the city
because you thought
it would help our marriage.
Doesn't sound like it worked.
Mm, not so much.
I I went crazy
and thought I was possessed,
and then I threw a party
and had sex with a guy named Blake.
What'd I do after that,
buy you a beach house?
[PAT] No, but you did buy me
the convertible where it happened.
And then I I hit you
in the head with the axe.
Ooh, this Terry Phelps guy
sounds like a real asshole.
Ugh, I'm so sorry, Terry.
I know this is happening
in real time for you,
but it was a lifetime ago.
The first affair was when
I was depressed,
and the second, I was psychotic.
I'm not that person anymore.
We have a real chance to start over.
Do I have a Tommy Bahama shirt?
- [PAT] What?
- [BAG THUDS]
[TERRY] Feel like I'd have
something floral
and kind of fun like that,
you know?
What are you doing?
Huh? Oh, I'm leaving you.
I found it.
- Where are you going?
- I don't know.
But I am getting the fuck out of here.
- You can't leave.
- Why's that?
Because we love each other.
We have history.
It sounds like
you were sad and depressed,
and I was your enabler?
- And it works.
- For who, you?
Yes!
Ah.
Yes.
Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]
You're a good man, Terry,
and you deserve to be happy.
♪
That's why I'm leaving.
Hey, Pat.
♪
Don't you want to be happy?
[SIGHS] I don't know.
I've been married for so long,
I don't even think
about being happy anymore.
♪
Maybe it's time to start.
That's what I'm gonna do.
♪
[BOTH] You get the kids.
[TERRY] Your mother and I have
something to tell you.
- Oh, my God, are you dying?
- No. No, I'm fine.
- Is Roxy dying?
- No, Roxy's fine.
[SIGHS]
I'm fine, too, by the way.
Over the last few weeks,
I've had a lot of time
for some introspection,
and I'm learning about who I am
and who your mother is
and who you kids are
and who I'm not,
who your mother is not,
who you kids aren't
Your dad and I are separating.
Oh, thank fuckin' Jesus.
Dad, what took you so long?
[PAT SIGHS]
Are you okay, Jake?
I want two Christmases.
Fred got two Christmases
when his parents split, so
You got it.
[JAKE] Sweet.
What are we gonna do now?
[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS]
[TERRY] Clarity, Kathryn.
That's what I'm talking about, you know?
A singular vision, singularity of voice.
It's like this music.
You got, what, like, 15 instruments?
It sounds like one. Effortless.
That's what a marriage should be!
I don't wanna try, you don't wanna try.
That's what it wants to be,
like this music.
It just wants to be
what it is, you know?
- [KATHRYN LAUGHING]
- Do you know what I mean?
I could know a little bit better
- if you'd let me in on that.
- [TERRY] Sorry.
Come on, come on, come on,
get over here.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Let me in.
Yeah, family style.
That's the way we do it here.
God damn it, I'm chatty!
- Yeah, you are.
- [TERRY] Listen to me go.
I'm like I don't know if
it's the confluence
of the freedom or the music
or just being here,
but man!
It's probably the cocaine!
- It's the coke.
- [KATHRYN] Babe, babe, babe,
my upstairs neighbor is a state senator,
so shh on the cocaine, you know?
[SNIFFING]
Unless you're prepared to share.
No, I will not share.
I don't wanna share.
I'm not sharing with anybody.
I'll share with you
'cause you're Kathryn.
I will share with you, but only you.
- [KATHRYN LAUGHING]
- But nobody else.
No, I have to share with you
'cause it's yours, right?
- It's actually not mine.
- What?
It's actually Blake's.
Yeah, this and student loan debt
are the only things I got
in the divorce,
- so cheers to fuckin' that.
- That's funny.
Pat actually had an affair
with a guy named Blake.
Fucked him in her car.
Wow, you have any vodka?
- Not enough.
- [TERRY] I'll check.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Okay, I can't say "fuck off"
'cause I'm working,
but I know what everyone
in this tiny dick town thinks
about me,
but I didn't kill my boyfriend,
I'm not a slut, and I'm sure
I'm smarter than you.
Also, fuck off.
I am Ennio.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]
- What?
- From Italy.
And you are?
Humiliated. Hi.
Uh, sorry.
I thought you were a creeper.
You are bella.
That means beautiful.
[CHUCKLING] Shut up.
No, I'm Gaynor.
That means Gaynor.
♪
You are funny.
♪
Ciao, Gaynor.
Ciao, Ennio.
♪
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Oh, fuck me.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]
[BABY CRYING]
Oh, what now?
♪
Damn it.
[NELLIE] Hello, love.
Nellie. What's going on?
You don't want the humors to build up
in your nether regions.
If you don't release them,
it can result in hysteria.
I'm not hysterical.
So I'm going to wake up.
Whoa, is that a dildo?
It's called a manipulator.
It will give you paroxysms,
and the humors will be freed.
It's quite fun,
and this treatment actually works.
Lie down and let's have a go.
Oh, oh, no, that's a hard no.
[CRANK SQUEAKING]
♪
Soft maybe.
Let's try it a little.
♪
That's a good girl.
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
- So weird.
- Faster.
- Fuck, yeah.
More! Oh!
- Wow.
- It's my favorite!
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
- Yes!
[MOANING]
♪
[TERRY SNORING]
[RELAXED MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Good morning, sunshine.
♪
Hello?
♪
- Time to wake up.
- [TERRY GROANS]
[KATHRYN CHUCKLES]
[TERRY] Ah, God! Oh.
♪
Oh, no.
- What time is it?
- It is about 10:00 a.m.
Uh-oh.
- Did we
- [KATHRYN] No.
You were still fully dressed
when I went to bed at 3:00 a.m.,
so whatever happened after that
is between you and my couch.
Oh, well
[SNIFFS]
[SIGHS]
- Well, you look nice.
- Thank you.
[TERRY] Where are you headed?
I have brunch with my mother.
- Mom?
- [KATHRYN] Mm.
I'd love to meet Mom.
That sounds like fun.
- Oh, all right.
- Yeah, uh
- Let me, uh, find my pants.
- Terry, um,
you are a great guy
with an above average butt,
but I am not a newly single coke addict.
Well, actually, I am,
but, uh [CHUCKLES]
I am at the tail end of
my bad-decision-making phase,
and you
I think you're still hooked
on your wife.
Why do you say that?
You spent about six hours telling me
how much you loved her last night.
I don't know why.
That lady is bad for me.
Sometimes people get addicted
to things that are bad for them.
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]
I will call you later.
♪
[PHONE RINGING]
♪
[JAKE] Hello?
♪
[RINGING CONTINUES]
♪
What the hell?
♪
[RINGING STOPS]
Huh?
[CREAKING]
[EERIE VOICE] Jake
Oh, boy.
[DEBBIE GIBSON'S
"ONLY IN MY DREAMS" PLAYING]
[DEBBIE] Ah, ah ♪
Ah ♪
♪
Every time I'm telling secrets ♪
I remember How it used to be ♪
And I realized How
much I miss you ♪
And I realize
How it feels to be free ♪
Now I see I'm up to no good ♪
[SINGERS] No, no, no ♪
[DEBBIE]
And I wanna start again ♪
[MUSIC DISTORTING, FADING]
[PAT] Hey, Nellie.
You wouldn't happen to have
that old-timey dildo,
would you?
Oh, fuck! What happened?
They took my pen away.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
Holy fuck!
They don't want me to tell the story.
And then they did something monstrous.
What?
♪
What are you doing?
♪
Oh, no!
They got you too.
♪
They put a baby in you.
♪
[GASPING]
[SIGHS]
[GAGGING]
[RETCHING]
[GASPING]
Oh
[GROANS]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
You're fucking kidding me.
[PAT] Previously,
on Shining Vale
I really do know
exactly what you're feeling.
I really don't think you do.
[RUTH] Now, it's very important
you only take one
Just give me the tea. Thanks.
[JAKE] Mom, I'm popular now.
Stop! Quit screwing with me!
Get off me, asshole!
Are there side effects? Sure.
Some women, they say that they have
these really intense dreams.
[PERSON] I used to think
I saw a man with a hat,
and then he was there in my room.
[PAT] It was one affair,
and I would do anything
if I could go back
and do things differently.
And I'm trying so hard not to fuck up
what we have left,
but it's really, really hard.
[TERRY] What is this?
I shared a kiss with Kathryn Dunn.
[TERRY] I know about the affair.
Can we just forget
that this ever happened?
You are the best husband.
[TERRY] You are the best wife.
[ROSEMARY] Did you enjoy
the chocolate mouse?
[VOICE ECHOING]
It's a herbal aphrodisiac.
[TERRY] Ahoy, Patty.
[PAT] What's happening? What's going on?
[ROSEMARY] Just do what I do.
Float on the cotton raft.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
- [SIGHS]
- [DOG BARKS]
It's okay, Roxy. Mommy had a bad dream.
No more tea for me.
[SIGHS] Oh, my God!
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Terry, what the fuck?
♪
[DOG GROWLING]
Roxy, why?
[ROXY WHINING]
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[GASPS]
[WHISPERING] No.
[SCREAMS]
♪
[CREAKING]
[GAYNOR] Hello?
[CREAKING]
Hello?
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Mom, are you okay?
♪
Mom?
Mom?
[BOTH GASPING]
What the fuck?
"What the fuck" you!
[GAYNOR] It's a lip mask.
[JAKE] What the hell, everyone?
If I don't get my full eight hours,
I'm not gonna be human tomorrow.
- Sorry, Jake.
- Yeah, sorry, honey.
Thank you.
- Night.
- Good night.
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
[EERIE VOCALIZING]
♪
- [TERRY WHISTLING]
- [PAT SIGHS]
[TERRY] Hey.
- Last night was amazing.
- [PAT] What part?
My screaming, my night terrors,
or my sleepwalking?
The fornication.
Cured my limp.
Honey, please don't call it
"the fornication."
I'm sorry. The penetration.
Ugh, you're getting colder.
[TERRY] Well, we don't
have to give it a name.
I just love being deep inside you.
Oh.
Honey, language is like
a new discovery for me.
- What do you want me to say?
- Nothing.
It was a fun night,
but I just I barely slept.
I think I've been overdoing it
with Ruth's tea.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Uh, by the way,
this isn't a mental asylum,
so if you could not scream
and roam the halls after 11:00,
that would be just great.
Oh, that's on me.
Apparently, I scream when I ejaculate.
- Sorry.
- [GAYNOR] Ah
Holy fuck. Somebody hit me with an axe.
[TERRY] Who wants flapjacks?
Nothing bad happened at my game,
and if it did, I would have told you.
We're gonna be late for school,
so you wanna get going?
I want Mom to take me.
Well, I wanted her to raise me.
We get what we get.
Oh, and I wanted
a bitchy, ungrateful teenager.
Oh, I got one.
- Aw.
- I'll take you, sweetie.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
Whoa.
I'm a little woozy.
Yeah, you'll mom tomorrow.
Jake, come on.
Hey, Button, I'm actually
gonna go with you guys.
Honey, I just want to say,
I am so happy that we put
this affair behind us.
Me too.
[TERRY] Same way
I was behind you last night.
Please go.
I'm gonna be the husband you deserve!
Please don't.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Mm.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[EERIE INDISTINCT WHISPERING]
What are you doing in my house?
[GASPS] Oh, shit.
[NELLIE] Hurry, love.
Better sit down.
Here. Put this on.
What the fuck is this?
[NELLIE] Smile therapy.
Put this on and look in the mirror.
When you see your smile,
your depression goes away.
Well, I'm not depressed anymore,
and by the way, that is very offensive.
[NELLIE] Put it on
before Doctor gets here.
Quickly now.
[PAT] What kind of bullshit is this?
♪
Huh, maybe women should smile more.
- [NELLIE] Are you mad, love?
- [PAT] Not anymore.
This thing really does the trick.
[NELLIE] No, I meant, are you a lunatic?
They think I am, but I'm undercover.
I'm writing a book
about how asylums abuse women.
[PAT] Are you fucking with me?
[NELLIE] I wouldn't feck with you,
and you shouldn't cuss so much
or they'll send you to the baths.
- [PAT] Who are you?
- [NELLIE] I'm Nellie.
[PAT GASPS]
♪
Shit.
She spawned.
Jake's always been a good student,
aside from the pornography
and the human skull and his grades.
I totally get it, Principal Woodcock,
but Jake doesn't have
any human adult role models.
I understand that.
I did try to contact your mother.
In addition to the suspension,
I'm afraid you're going to have
to step down as our Sno-Cat.
What? No! That's like my whole identity.
That's that's who I am!
Okay, not anymore.
Now you're the boy who hit a goat girl.
Now go get your stuff.
We'll talk about it in the car.
This is so unfair!
- Ow!
- Go.
Sorry about that. He's at that age.
You know, we really miss you
around here, Gaynor.
Now that your parents are home,
would you consider coming back?
Uh, I kind of have
a lot of shit going on.
Stuff. Fuck, sorry.
Uh, can I say "shit"
that I don't go here now?
"Stuff" is better
while on school property.
Ah.
My house is just kind of
a stuff-show right now.
I'd just hate for you to miss out
on your senior year, you know?
Class trips, prom.
Are you still in touch
with your friend Ryan?
Uh, he lives with his cool uncle in LA,
so we don't really talk.
I'm just focusing on work right now.
[WOODCOCK] I'm gonna cut to the chase.
I'm just being selfish.
I really want bragging rights
to a student with a perfect ACT score.
And between that
and your home situation,
you're a shoo-in for an Ivy.
Shut up, Sandy!
- [LAUGHS]
- [BELL RINGING]
"Principal Woodcock" is better
on school property.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[OLIVIA B]
Isn't that Gaynor Phelps?
I heard she got knocked up.
[BERT] That's why she dropped out.
[OLIVIA K] Crazy just like her mom.
- [STUDENT] What a slut.
- [STUDENT] Total whore.
- [NEIL] Hey, Gaynor!
- Fuck off.
I was just wondering if you're
coming back to Chastity Club.
Oh, uh, sorry, Neil.
No, I'm I'm not.
Well, you wanna go out?
I heard you do it,
and my stepdad has a van,
- and we can do
- I said fuck off, Neil.
- [PHONE RINGING]
- Hey, Phelps.
Uh, a few of us are going
across the street
for some margaritas. Wanna come?
- Oh, yeah?
- [KATHRYN] Yeah.
- Who's "us"?
- Uh, by "us," I mean
me and you and that's about it.
And by "across the street,"
I mean my office,
and by "margaritas," I mean cocaine.
- Kathryn.
- [KATHRYN] Mm.
[TERRY] Jeez.
Cocaine? Sounds dangerous.
And wildly addictive.
In that case, just kidding. [CHUCKLES]
Hey, no, wait. Kathryn, hold on.
I think we need to chat.
"Chat"? Ooh, that does not sound good.
I found out about the affair.
Okay
I'm not surprised.
You're very attractive,
tall for a woman,
excellent muscle tone.
But I'm married,
and we need to keep this professional.
Also, your arms must make
a man feel safe.
Thank you, I think.
But, uh, one small adjustment.
We never had an affair.
You sure about that?
Oh, yeah, I'm I'm pretty sure.
I, uh [CHUCKLES]
Went to a terrible party at your house,
got into a huge fight with my husband,
I I kissed you, you ran away,
and then I went home
and sobbed through
a two-hour Peloton class.
There definitely was an affair.
Pat and I talked about it.
Unless
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
It was
Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat
Please, just give me
a quick zap so she'll go away.
It's like a touch-up.
There's no such thing
as a mental touch-up.
This isn't a salon.
By the way, your hair looks amazing.
Is is that box color?
It's herbal tea.
It takes away the grey but also
brings back your period.
Hard pass.
I didn't get my uterus ripped out
just to have another period.
I can't give you electric shock
because you had a bad dream.
It's unethical.
Well, what if my schizophrenia
is coming back?
I mean, it would be unethical
to not fucking treat me
if I was going mental.
This is a private hospital.
If you can't pay, you can't stay.
If you really need treatment,
you you're gonna have to go upstate.
Upstate doesn't sound too bad.
Trust me, you don't want
anything to do with upstate.
They don't even clean
the lobotomy needles.
Allegedly.
[QUIETLY] It's true.
Okay. What if I pay out of pocket?
I stay here for a week
and get a full check-up.
Without insurance, it's pricey.
Well, I have a book coming out.
I'm sure I can afford it.
It's 4,000 a week.
Holy fuck.
What do poor people do
when they go crazy?
So, for some reason,
Ruth has imprinted herself
on your subconscious.
Now she's the face of your fears.
I mean, even the worst therapist
would see that as transference.
So you're saying
it's transference, right?
Me? No.
I would probably say
it's a stress dream.
Rosemary started out as a stress dream.
It's a pretty straight line
from that to
Well, it sounds like
Nellie was being helpful.
I mean, she's probably
your subconscious's way
of providing self-care.
Most women would benefit
from smiling more.
Well, Rosemary was also helpful
at the beginning.
She wrote my book
and had intercourse with my husband.
- Um
- [PAT] Come on.
I really need your help.
I can't go crazy again,
and I don't want to go upstate.
You know I wouldn't be here
if there was anyone else
I could turn to.
[DR. BERG] Mm-hmm.
I attended a seminar
where I learned a technique
that allowed me to stay
conscious in my dreams.
Find something
that you can control.
I use light switches.
When I feel my dream
is getting out of hand,
I flip the switch,
and instantly, I'm awake.
It's foolproof.
Foolproof is good.
I will try anything.
I just I just wanna be there
for my family.
Outstanding.
- [PHONE BUZZING]
- [PAT] I'm sorry.
Ah, fuck.
I missed five calls from Jake's school.
Let's keep this meeting
between the two of us.
After that incident last year
where I failed to file
the three-day hold,
I am obligated to report any
change in your mental state.
Well, then I'm obligated
to publish an essay
on how your series of fuck-ups
almost killed my family.
How does that sound, asshole?
♪
No running in the halls, Mr. Wallace!
Oh, Principal Woodcock,
I'm so so sorry.
I just got your messages.
Where's Jake?
It's all right. Gaynor took care of it.
Oh, shit. I'm the worst mom.
Maybe.
But you're a genius writer.
Shut the fuck up, Sandy.
- Oh.
- I probably shouldn't say that
at a school.
Probably shouldn't say that anywhere.
[CHUCKLES]
Would you like to step into my office?
Am I in trouble?
[LAUGHING] What? No.
Come in, please. Have a seat.
I started reading your new book,
and for some reason,
it's really resonating with me.
Usually, I find profanity
to be lazy and jejune, but
[SIGHS]
Your use of the F word is
poetic.
It's like the Ulysses
of dirty words.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Really?
You're not just trying
to make me feel better?
Not at all.
I'm in awe.
Just between us, I am also
shopping a manuscript.
It's a Eudora Welty-inspired satire
of the Connecticut gentry class.
I've got it down to 765 pages,
but I can't find anyone to read it.
Bullshit patriarchy, huh?
Would you like to read it?
- I would love to
- Oh.
But per my publishing contract,
I'm not allowed.
You know, intellectual property
and such.
Oh, well.
Darn the luck. [LAUGHS]
I really just wanted
to say congratulations.
You accomplished your dream.
- You must be so happy.
- I must be.
Why can't I be happy?
I'm already on
a near-fatal dose of lithium.
I've already rewired my brain,
so it can't be that.
Maybe I should just go upstate
and call it.
Can I tell you something personal?
Listen, I don't mean to be mean,
but uh, if this is a story
about your baby dying,
I just don't think I'm in
the right headspace for that.
Oh, no, no, no. It's very optimistic.
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
So after I delivered
my stillborn baby
Oh, Jesus.
I was what they call
a "hysterical woman,"
or as my doctor said, a woman.
And they thought that
I couldn't handle the news.
So they brought me a baby doll.
I dressed him.
I bathed him.
I I took him to the supermarket.
He really loved the supermarket
because there was that little
horsey ride at the front,
and I would put him on,
and even though he was just
he was just too little.
What are you gonna do?
I even lactated for eight months.
[LAUGHS]
Is that the optimistic part?
No, not yet. No.
I still don't know
how I got the courage,
but I went
and I picked up that fake baby
with those half-closed eyes
And threw him in the dumpster!
[DISCORDANT PIANO NOTES]
- [SIGHS]
- Holy shit.
I know, I know, but look at me now.
I am the happiest person you know.
And that
♪
Is the optimistic part.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm still on the lactating.
Pat, my point is
that you need to find your fake baby
and throw it in the dumpster.
[DOOR CREAKING]
[GAYNOR] Hey.
This happens again,
I'll punch you into the sun.
You already made me sit in
the bookstore for four hours.
Is that not punishment enough?
FYI, your son got kicked off
his sports team
- for punching a girl.
- Ow!
Stop! Mom, help!
Jake, you're grounded.
Oh, I already grounded him.
And I'm taking away his VR headset.
Well, if I hear him
playing a video game,
I'm taking his bedroom door off.
Oh, fine, then no dessert
for three weeks.
- Make it a month.
- This is insanity!
You're both out of control.
And Gaynor, if you don't go
back to school, you're grounded.
Oh, nice fuckin' try, Mom.
Uh, I don't mean to pry,
but could it be that it's your children
that are the source of your pain?
Are you kidding?
Jake just asked for help,
and Gaynor called me "Mom."
I'm putting this
in my gratitude journal.
Okay.
[GAYNOR] "I have been tortured
for so long
"with the dull, dull misery
of nothingness.
"I live unspeakably
for happiness.
And so I await
the Devil's coming."
Yeah, she gets it.
Mm.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]
[SOFT TAPPING]
♪
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
[BIRD SQUAWKING]
♪
What the fuck?
- [TERRY] Pat?
- I'm in the bathroom.
How was your day?
- Yeah, it was pretty good.
- [PAT SPITS]
Oh, one weird thing.
I told Kathryn
that I knew about the affair,
and she said there was no affair.
Isn't that weird?
[PAT] I'm taking a poo.
Can you come back?
[TERRY] Just a little confused
about who the affair was with,
you know?
Uh, listen, I need a few seconds.
I'm not done yet.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Fine.
It was me.
I fucked another guy. I am sorry.
I really I thought you knew.
Nope. Who was he?
Was it Laird?
What? No.
Some random guy.
We've already been through this.
This is why you bought me this house.
I'm gonna need help
connecting those dots.
You bought this big house
far from the city
because you thought
it would help our marriage.
Doesn't sound like it worked.
Mm, not so much.
I I went crazy
and thought I was possessed,
and then I threw a party
and had sex with a guy named Blake.
What'd I do after that,
buy you a beach house?
[PAT] No, but you did buy me
the convertible where it happened.
And then I I hit you
in the head with the axe.
Ooh, this Terry Phelps guy
sounds like a real asshole.
Ugh, I'm so sorry, Terry.
I know this is happening
in real time for you,
but it was a lifetime ago.
The first affair was when
I was depressed,
and the second, I was psychotic.
I'm not that person anymore.
We have a real chance to start over.
Do I have a Tommy Bahama shirt?
- [PAT] What?
- [BAG THUDS]
[TERRY] Feel like I'd have
something floral
and kind of fun like that,
you know?
What are you doing?
Huh? Oh, I'm leaving you.
I found it.
- Where are you going?
- I don't know.
But I am getting the fuck out of here.
- You can't leave.
- Why's that?
Because we love each other.
We have history.
It sounds like
you were sad and depressed,
and I was your enabler?
- And it works.
- For who, you?
Yes!
Ah.
Yes.
Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]
You're a good man, Terry,
and you deserve to be happy.
♪
That's why I'm leaving.
Hey, Pat.
♪
Don't you want to be happy?
[SIGHS] I don't know.
I've been married for so long,
I don't even think
about being happy anymore.
♪
Maybe it's time to start.
That's what I'm gonna do.
♪
[BOTH] You get the kids.
[TERRY] Your mother and I have
something to tell you.
- Oh, my God, are you dying?
- No. No, I'm fine.
- Is Roxy dying?
- No, Roxy's fine.
[SIGHS]
I'm fine, too, by the way.
Over the last few weeks,
I've had a lot of time
for some introspection,
and I'm learning about who I am
and who your mother is
and who you kids are
and who I'm not,
who your mother is not,
who you kids aren't
Your dad and I are separating.
Oh, thank fuckin' Jesus.
Dad, what took you so long?
[PAT SIGHS]
Are you okay, Jake?
I want two Christmases.
Fred got two Christmases
when his parents split, so
You got it.
[JAKE] Sweet.
What are we gonna do now?
[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS]
[TERRY] Clarity, Kathryn.
That's what I'm talking about, you know?
A singular vision, singularity of voice.
It's like this music.
You got, what, like, 15 instruments?
It sounds like one. Effortless.
That's what a marriage should be!
I don't wanna try, you don't wanna try.
That's what it wants to be,
like this music.
It just wants to be
what it is, you know?
- [KATHRYN LAUGHING]
- Do you know what I mean?
I could know a little bit better
- if you'd let me in on that.
- [TERRY] Sorry.
Come on, come on, come on,
get over here.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Let me in.
Yeah, family style.
That's the way we do it here.
God damn it, I'm chatty!
- Yeah, you are.
- [TERRY] Listen to me go.
I'm like I don't know if
it's the confluence
of the freedom or the music
or just being here,
but man!
It's probably the cocaine!
- It's the coke.
- [KATHRYN] Babe, babe, babe,
my upstairs neighbor is a state senator,
so shh on the cocaine, you know?
[SNIFFING]
Unless you're prepared to share.
No, I will not share.
I don't wanna share.
I'm not sharing with anybody.
I'll share with you
'cause you're Kathryn.
I will share with you, but only you.
- [KATHRYN LAUGHING]
- But nobody else.
No, I have to share with you
'cause it's yours, right?
- It's actually not mine.
- What?
It's actually Blake's.
Yeah, this and student loan debt
are the only things I got
in the divorce,
- so cheers to fuckin' that.
- That's funny.
Pat actually had an affair
with a guy named Blake.
Fucked him in her car.
Wow, you have any vodka?
- Not enough.
- [TERRY] I'll check.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Okay, I can't say "fuck off"
'cause I'm working,
but I know what everyone
in this tiny dick town thinks
about me,
but I didn't kill my boyfriend,
I'm not a slut, and I'm sure
I'm smarter than you.
Also, fuck off.
I am Ennio.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]
- What?
- From Italy.
And you are?
Humiliated. Hi.
Uh, sorry.
I thought you were a creeper.
You are bella.
That means beautiful.
[CHUCKLING] Shut up.
No, I'm Gaynor.
That means Gaynor.
♪
You are funny.
♪
Ciao, Gaynor.
Ciao, Ennio.
♪
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Oh, fuck me.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]
[BABY CRYING]
Oh, what now?
♪
Damn it.
[NELLIE] Hello, love.
Nellie. What's going on?
You don't want the humors to build up
in your nether regions.
If you don't release them,
it can result in hysteria.
I'm not hysterical.
So I'm going to wake up.
Whoa, is that a dildo?
It's called a manipulator.
It will give you paroxysms,
and the humors will be freed.
It's quite fun,
and this treatment actually works.
Lie down and let's have a go.
Oh, oh, no, that's a hard no.
[CRANK SQUEAKING]
♪
Soft maybe.
Let's try it a little.
♪
That's a good girl.
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
- So weird.
- Faster.
- Fuck, yeah.
More! Oh!
- Wow.
- It's my favorite!
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
- Yes!
[MOANING]
♪
[TERRY SNORING]
[RELAXED MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Good morning, sunshine.
♪
Hello?
♪
- Time to wake up.
- [TERRY GROANS]
[KATHRYN CHUCKLES]
[TERRY] Ah, God! Oh.
♪
Oh, no.
- What time is it?
- It is about 10:00 a.m.
Uh-oh.
- Did we
- [KATHRYN] No.
You were still fully dressed
when I went to bed at 3:00 a.m.,
so whatever happened after that
is between you and my couch.
Oh, well
[SNIFFS]
[SIGHS]
- Well, you look nice.
- Thank you.
[TERRY] Where are you headed?
I have brunch with my mother.
- Mom?
- [KATHRYN] Mm.
I'd love to meet Mom.
That sounds like fun.
- Oh, all right.
- Yeah, uh
- Let me, uh, find my pants.
- Terry, um,
you are a great guy
with an above average butt,
but I am not a newly single coke addict.
Well, actually, I am,
but, uh [CHUCKLES]
I am at the tail end of
my bad-decision-making phase,
and you
I think you're still hooked
on your wife.
Why do you say that?
You spent about six hours telling me
how much you loved her last night.
I don't know why.
That lady is bad for me.
Sometimes people get addicted
to things that are bad for them.
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]
I will call you later.
♪
[PHONE RINGING]
♪
[JAKE] Hello?
♪
[RINGING CONTINUES]
♪
What the hell?
♪
[RINGING STOPS]
Huh?
[CREAKING]
[EERIE VOICE] Jake
Oh, boy.
[DEBBIE GIBSON'S
"ONLY IN MY DREAMS" PLAYING]
[DEBBIE] Ah, ah ♪
Ah ♪
♪
Every time I'm telling secrets ♪
I remember How it used to be ♪
And I realized How
much I miss you ♪
And I realize
How it feels to be free ♪
Now I see I'm up to no good ♪
[SINGERS] No, no, no ♪
[DEBBIE]
And I wanna start again ♪
[MUSIC DISTORTING, FADING]
[PAT] Hey, Nellie.
You wouldn't happen to have
that old-timey dildo,
would you?
Oh, fuck! What happened?
They took my pen away.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
Holy fuck!
They don't want me to tell the story.
And then they did something monstrous.
What?
♪
What are you doing?
♪
Oh, no!
They got you too.
♪
They put a baby in you.
♪
[GASPING]
[SIGHS]
[GAGGING]
[RETCHING]
[GASPING]
Oh
[GROANS]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
You're fucking kidding me.