Skins s03e08 Episode Script
Effy
COOK GROANS AND STRAINS Oh, fuck! Jack-a-fucking-nory! COOK SIGHS - Smashing.
- Wow.
See you later, yeah? # All I need is a little more of you # All I need is # A little more of you to go on # Hi, you're through to Freddie's dyslexia helpline.
Please leave a massage.
# I'm right beside you # Jamie Oliver.
Bastard.
Stephen Fry.
Bastard.
Nelson Mandela.
Bastard.
Bastard.
Bastard.
Oh, big, fat, ugly Irish bastard! What are you doing? Oh, I'm just looking at pictures of men, saying which ones are bastards.
Nice - Cook's gone.
- Hm.
We broke up.
Yeah.
Never mind, sweetheart.
You OK? Yeah.
It's just gonna make it really hard raising our baby.
Yeah.
CRASH! Bastard.
HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING Karen, I told you Hi, Effy.
MUSIC STOPS Babe, I'm not being funny, but you look like microwaved shit.
What's up? Nothing.
Oh, my God, it's really good you're here, actually.
You can drive, right? - Yeah.
Why? - Cos Me and Freddie are having a party tonight, in the woods.
What's it called again, honey? - Gobblers End.
- That's right.
You should come! I was gonna borrow my dad's car, - but now he has to - take Karen to an audition.
BOTH GIGGLE We're always doing that! Maybe.
I have to ask my mum if I can borrow the car.
Cool.
Can we ask you something, though? Me and Freddie want this to be, like, a quiet thing, not some kind of what did I call it before? Pikey hoedown.
Thanks, babe.
So? So Cook's not invited.
Cos we don't like him.
Like I said.
I have to ask my mum.
OK.
Well, you just have a little think about it and let us know, yeah? I'm going to have a shower.
You coming, juicy? Yeah.
In a minute, hon.
Yeah.
You should come.
You want me to come? Why are you here? Came to tell you something.
Yeah? Your shed's changed.
Effy I'll see you later, yeah? Effy Machine Gun by Portishead # I saw a saviour # A saviour come my way # I thought I'd see it # At the cold light of day # But now I realise # That I'm only for me # If only I could see # You turn myself to me # And recognise the poison # In my heart # DOORBELL All right? Take me to your kitchen! Your daughter's in for a fucking treat.
Four courses, real fancy shit.
Pesto.
Salmon.
Salad.
- Love, she's gone.
- OK.
What time's she back? Oh, not till tomorrow.
They've gone off to some party at Gobblers End.
Nah Nah.
Nah, cos we're supposed to hang out tonight.
Was that before you broke up or after? I bought a fucking gateau.
- Black Forest - Oh.
My favourite.
Cheers.
LAUGHTER INDISTINCT CHATTER MOBILE PHONE RINGS Can't talk now, Mum.
Later.
Later, OK? Bye.
You sure this is the right way? That's what the map says.
- Oh, my God! - No, we haven't - Yes, we have! - Well, whatever! Where do we go now? - Right.
Yes.
Turn right.
- You're not indicating.
- No, that's left! - Turn right and go straight on - Freds, it's right.
- What are we doing? This isn't the right way, I told you! INDISTINCT BICKERING Stupid piece of crap.
We're just gonna have to ask someone for directions.
Who? Hello? Hello? Is anybody here? For fuck's sake! Excuse me, gentlemen, could you tell me - how to get to Gobblers End, please? - Well, I wouldn't start from here, love.
- No, I reckon I could show you.
- Great.
- All right.
- Listen to the nice man, Freddie.
LAUGHS Come on.
Right.
Gobblers Knob Gobblers End, you call it See the roundabout? Well, go back there Anybody here? Hello? Hello? Second on the right.
Got that? Yeah, thanks.
Hey.
You kids want to see something before you go? BELL TINKLES Are you leaving something for me, lovely? Let me out, please.
- Cos I've got something for you.
- Get out of the way! Little tradition of ours.
- Hang on, mate, do you really think? - Shut up, kid.
Come on, sweetheart, you know you want it.
Get off! Get off of me! Freddie, help! Freddie, help! GUNSHOT You made me miss.
Sorry, but I've never missed before.
All right! That's it, that's enough, leave her alone! Go.
Beware the moon.
Whatever.
Freak! - Fucking hell! - Did you see the size of that gun? - OK, let's get out of here.
- Did you see the size of the knife? THEY ALL TALK AT ONCE Katie, what happened? Fucking hell.
I don't know, he just started shouting at me.
I didn't even do anything.
Panda? Panda? Thomas, is she OK? - Um, Eff? - What? It's them.
It's them.
Freds Freds THEY ALL SHOUT Just stay calm.
It's probably nothing.
Just chill out.
HORN BLARES SHRIEKING AND PANIC HE MOUTHS What are they doing? Eff SHOUTING AND SCREAMING Pull the car over.
Stop the car.
Stop the car now! Effy, stop the car! Wankers.
Effy! - Are they going? - What dickheads.
PANTING I think we should go home.
They're gone now.
We're safe.
As long as we, "Beware the moon".
Obviously.
Why are you laughing? - It's not fucking funny! - All right, babes.
Chill out.
Sorry.
I was SMOOCHING Come on.
Not far now.
MUSIC FROM CAR It's so heavy.
OK.
This way, right, Freds? Yep! You'll like it here, mate.
It's all right.
THEY CHAT Echo! Echo! Guys, can you hear an echo? Listen.
Echo! So what's the deal with Thomas? I don't know! Cook, like, had carnal relations with Pandora! Don't call it that.
His girlfriend's a no-good hussy and he's acting like everything's fine! It's messing with my head! How you doing, mate? Wasn't expecting to see you tonight.
I mean, it's great you're here.
Just thought.
After what Cook said at your gig.
I would like that we keep that between us for now, yes? Yeah.
Yeah, course.
Whatever you say.
Freddie! Is this the right way? That's right, sweetheart.
Just up here.
# Turn back the curtain # There's nothing to see inside # If you want your freedom # It's your free will to hide # I sit there in the corner # Hailing for a ride - # Staring out the window - Owww! # Wishing you could die OTHERS HOWL # We're only waiting # For someone else # We're only waiting # For someone else to blame # Oh, I look in myself, I see nothing that I like # Crowds don't make me happy # Alone, I don't feel right # So I hold back the punches # There's no-one left to fight # Turn to look around you # There's no-one by your side # We're only waiting # For someone else # We're only waiting # For someone else to blame # The weight on your shoulders # Will drag you down # You could try much harder # But I know you won't # But I know you won't # But I know you won't # But I know you won't # Panda.
Are you all right? Yeah! Fine! I mean, relationships just can't stay the same, can they? Can't always be lovely and lush and not full of weird silences all the time.
People can't always be perfect cos that's not real, is it? It's not real, cos things change.
Don't they? Yeah.
They do.
But you can tell me.
If something's up, I can help you.
Everything's great.
I love Thomas, he loves me, everything's just, tickety-flippin-boo! OK, if you say so.
Look what I found.
Shrooms.
Are they funny ones? Uh-huh.
What are you doing? > Found some shrooms.
Want some? No! How d'you know they're not poisonous? I don't want you ruining my party by, like, vomming blood! And this isn't supposed to be that kind of party, Eff.
It's just drinks and sausages.
- No mushrooms.
- Whoa, mushrooms? Who's got mushrooms? - Give me some! - Freddie! What? Chill out.
Did I hear mushrooms? Emily! Don't you fucking dare! > Don't listen to her, Ems.
All part of the fun, I suppose.
Come on, Panda.
Live a little.
No, thanks! Love is our drug! THEY ALL GROAN Sometimes you need a little more sugar in your bowl, though.
C'est vrai ça, ma jolie? Go on, Panda.
Eugh! Minging.
Don't cry.
Don't fucking cry.
How long till it kicks in, Eff? Not long.
RAP MUSIC I am so fucked.
Do I look fucked? Eff? In the shed.
I was just wondering Um What were you gonna say? I'll tell you later.
Bye.
Katie's cold.
FRENETIC MUSIC FADES AND MIXES Banana Slugs/Cosmonaut by High Places # I looked up # Saw a cloud # Floating by without a sound # And then as slugs do # Their yin-yang thing, a hermaphroditic # Little fling # I looked up # Saw a cloud # Floating by # Without a sound # I looked up # Saw a cloud # Floating by # Without a sound MUSIC BECOMES GARBLED That's what it's about, isn't it? Forget all that other shit, cos it's not about that, it's about everything else.
Like when you open your eyes at night and you see that face You see that face Listen, Effy.
I didn't even want you here in the first place and you've ruined my night.
The only reason I invited you was because you can drive and you're embarrassing yourself.
It's pretty sad.
Throwing yourself at your mates' boyfriends, really.
Katie, come and sit down.
I'm not being nasty or anything! I don't even think you realise you're doing it, it's just it makes you look like a desperate whore.
OTHERS LAUGH AND TALK Who moved the stuff? What? Who moved the stuff? The bags are gone.
What are you talking about? For God's sakes.
This is so not funny, guys.
Chill out, somebody GUNSHOT GUNSHOT Turn the music off.
GUNSHOT Oh, shit! BRANCH SNAPS, BIRD FLAPS ITS WINGS GUNSHOTS Eff, I don't like it! It's OK, Panda.
GUNFIRE CONTINUES Turn the lights off now.
Everything off.
Quick! JJ, get that fire out! Ssh.
Everyone, round the fire! Get down, get down.
RUSTLING CREAKING OWL HOOTS DISTORTED SCREAMING EERIE PULSING NOISE RUSTLING PULSING NOISE GROWS LOUDER VISCERAL SCREAMS THUD, SCREAMING STOPS What the fuck? What the fuck do you think you're playing at? You fucking idiot.
You nearly had Jesus! You fucking prick! I should fucking kill you You scared the shit out of us, prick.
It wasn't me! There were psychos in the woods with a gun! I saw them nick your stuff so they started shooting.
They're fucking mental! Shut up.
Joke's over.
You bloody scared us, you stupid fucking tosser.
All right, calm down.
I took your sodding knapsacks, children.
- They're just poachers, you daft wankers.
- Poachers? After rabbits and shit.
Not you.
I was just trying to freak you out.
Why? Cos I thought it'd be funny! And it totally was! "Ooh, turn off the lights! Ooh, we're gonna die!" LAUGHS - What the fuck are you doing here? - I smell a shindig, I'm round.
Well, you weren't invited so you can just fuck off! Aw! But we're having such a nice time! Your tits look fucking mint from this angle by the way, Kit Kat.
- What is your fucking problem? - Come on then, Rambo.
What do you want? My fucking blood? Cos you've fucking taken everything else! You've taken fucking JJ and now he's nicking her off me as well! She hasn't told you, has she? Fuck me! - I'm so glad I didn't miss this.
- What's going on? Effy doesn't want me any more.
Do you, princess? No.
So? Why should we care? Freddie's with me now.
Right, Freddie? Freddie? Freddie! Right.
I'm going for a walk.
Katie.
Well, I think she took that pretty well, don't you? Just go! No-one wants you here! No-one likes you! Just fucking go! Do what he says.
Fuck Off.
Whatever.
Have nice lives, all of youse.
You coming? Nah, yeah, stay here with your friends.
Look at at their little faces.
You're all such whizzo chums, aren't you? Ain't that right, Eff? Ain't that right, Panda? Panda's been worried lately, Eff.
Says you don't see each other as much as you used to.
That right, Panda? Yeah? I said to her, "Cupcake, maybe if you didn't spend as much time - with my cock in your mouth " - Shut up! Come on, Thomas, let's go! Stop! It's fine.
I know.
Know know what? < Wait.
It was one time, right? Your party.
It was only once, right? I need to sit down.
Um, sorry, Slugger, I don't think you heard.
Me fucked your girlfriend.
Like, multiple times.
What do you want me to say? I don't want you to say anything! Hit me.
Come on! Come on, hit me! You are such a sad little boy.
Thomas, please.
I stopped it.
I love you.
Just give me a chance.
I have given you chances! And you have not taken them! Time and again you've lied to me! It's too late now! I fell in love with this girl, she was good.
She was honest and doughnuts and Now she is gone, and this new one, I don't like her.
She makes my heart hurt.
Please, please, Thomas, come back.
LAUGHS Effy, are you OK? I'm really tripping, there's something on me.
Effy, calm down.
- Get off me! Get off me! - Calm down! It's me! # And she's clinging to the nearest passer-by # She's lost control # And she gave away the secrets of her past and said I've lost control again # Effy, wait! Effy! PANTS RUSTLING Who's that? Effy? Is that you? It's all right.
It's me.
Why are you crying? I I don't know.
Aw! Look at you.
You're, like, totally monged, aren't you? VOICE ECHOES Oh.
What? Fuck, there's loads of bugs in your hair! Where? Get them out! Get them off me! Effy! Effy! What you doing? - The bugs! The bugs! - What bugs? There's nothing there.
SHE LAUGHS BOTH LAUGH SOBBING Please don't take him from me.
What? Freddie.
Please don't take him from me.
Hey.
Hey.
Don't do that.
Get your fucking hands off me! As if you could take him from me! God, you're so up yourself! Your life's so shit, you want to crap all over mine! Don't invite fucking psychos to my party and don't push your flat little tits in my boyfriend's face, OK? I said, OK? Cos I swear, babes, I'm serious, if you ever try and touch anything that belongs to me ever again, I will fuck you up.
SPITS I said OK? I said OK? PANTING EERIE, AMBIENT MUSIC PLAYS GASPS - Hit me.
- What? Just once.
I wanna feel something.
Hit me! Phew! Bit cramped in there.
Me, two girls and one tent - nightmare! You ladies like to wriggle, don't you? Anyway.
I need a wee and a Tic Tac.
- Morning.
- Good morning.
Anyone seen Pandora and Thomas? And where's Katie? Thought she'd be with you, Fred.
Probably still asleep.
Katie? > Katie? > Tom has gone home.
He's gone.
I gotta go now, please.
Katie! Katie! Freddie! Yeah? Katie! > Nothing.
Just need to find her, OK? Katie! # Oh, I've been knocking on that door in my sleep # Fight my fireplace glow # I've been knocking on that door in my sleep # Fight my fireplace glow # To keep me away # To keep me away from home # Papa get the rifle from its place above the French doors # They're coming from the woods # Oh, they're coming from the woods # And Mama you're running too # Oh my mama you're running too # I'm countin' it to the sky # Oh, I'm countin' it to the sky # I'm movin' back to face the lack of home # THUNDER 'Are you saying you don't know where you are?' No, I mean I can't find her.
Why not? Because I just fucking can't, OK! Just send an ambulance, will you? Keep calm Calm down.
I think I hit her.
No, I mean I can't find her.
With a rock, and now she's I was tripping, I didn't mean to.
Please just How long does it take to have a wee, Eff? - Tell me where you are.
- It's Gobblers End.
Coming! # Happiness hit her # Like a train on a track # Coming towards her # Stuck still no turning back # She hid around corners and she hid under beds # She killed it with kisses and from it she fled # With every bubble she sank with her drink # And washed it away down the kitchen sink # The dog days are over # The dog days are gone # The horses are coming # So you better run # PHONE RINGS Hi, this is Pandora.
I can't get to the phone right now.
Thanks.
Bye.
Hi, you're through to Freddie's dyslexia helpline.
Hi, this is Emily, sorry I can't take your call right now.
Naomi.
I'm not here.
Wait for the beep JJ's phone.
I can't take your call so just leave me a message.
Please call again later.
PHONE RINGS Hi! Freddie, hi! Are you? I should've gone with her, Eff.
Middle of the night, we just let her go.
She's got nine stitches in her head.
She was laying in those woods all night.
Alone.
Fuck knows what happened to her.
She's not even woken up yet.
But she's OK, right? She is OK? Yeah, I guess.
Eff? Eff, you there? Look, I gotta go.
I'm meeting Em at the hospital.
Freddie, wait.
LINE GOES DEAD MONITOR BEEPS - She woke up, then? - Yeah.
She woke up.
Fred, listen, she pulled my hair.
So what?! She pulled your hair, so you smashed her head open? It was an accident! I was tripping! She choked me, I couldn't breathe! I can't see any bruises.
I can't see nine fucking stitches! But when did it happen? Em, it was an accident.
I promise.
You hit her with a rock and you just left her there.
She could have died.
Panda, listen MONITOR BEEPING # When you leave # I ain't coming # What you have # Comes to nothing # Whose car is this? Dunno.
But they do have a sterling collection of power ballads.
Where we going? OK.
Where are we? # I ain't coming # What you have # It's you and me, babe.
It's always gonna be you and me.
#.
.
Comes to nothing # It's always you and me.
# When you leave # I ain't coming # What you have # I hope they lock that Stonem girl up when they find her.
We're going shopping.
For Love Ball dresses.
Come to the college ball with me.
Like we're together.
You humiliated me.
Effy doesn't even want you.
But you fucking owe me, Freddie.
OK! Fuck off! Fight! Fight! Fight! Clearly not shagging tonight, then.
No, JJ.
- Wow.
See you later, yeah? # All I need is a little more of you # All I need is # A little more of you to go on # Hi, you're through to Freddie's dyslexia helpline.
Please leave a massage.
# I'm right beside you # Jamie Oliver.
Bastard.
Stephen Fry.
Bastard.
Nelson Mandela.
Bastard.
Bastard.
Bastard.
Oh, big, fat, ugly Irish bastard! What are you doing? Oh, I'm just looking at pictures of men, saying which ones are bastards.
Nice - Cook's gone.
- Hm.
We broke up.
Yeah.
Never mind, sweetheart.
You OK? Yeah.
It's just gonna make it really hard raising our baby.
Yeah.
CRASH! Bastard.
HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING Karen, I told you Hi, Effy.
MUSIC STOPS Babe, I'm not being funny, but you look like microwaved shit.
What's up? Nothing.
Oh, my God, it's really good you're here, actually.
You can drive, right? - Yeah.
Why? - Cos Me and Freddie are having a party tonight, in the woods.
What's it called again, honey? - Gobblers End.
- That's right.
You should come! I was gonna borrow my dad's car, - but now he has to - take Karen to an audition.
BOTH GIGGLE We're always doing that! Maybe.
I have to ask my mum if I can borrow the car.
Cool.
Can we ask you something, though? Me and Freddie want this to be, like, a quiet thing, not some kind of what did I call it before? Pikey hoedown.
Thanks, babe.
So? So Cook's not invited.
Cos we don't like him.
Like I said.
I have to ask my mum.
OK.
Well, you just have a little think about it and let us know, yeah? I'm going to have a shower.
You coming, juicy? Yeah.
In a minute, hon.
Yeah.
You should come.
You want me to come? Why are you here? Came to tell you something.
Yeah? Your shed's changed.
Effy I'll see you later, yeah? Effy Machine Gun by Portishead # I saw a saviour # A saviour come my way # I thought I'd see it # At the cold light of day # But now I realise # That I'm only for me # If only I could see # You turn myself to me # And recognise the poison # In my heart # DOORBELL All right? Take me to your kitchen! Your daughter's in for a fucking treat.
Four courses, real fancy shit.
Pesto.
Salmon.
Salad.
- Love, she's gone.
- OK.
What time's she back? Oh, not till tomorrow.
They've gone off to some party at Gobblers End.
Nah Nah.
Nah, cos we're supposed to hang out tonight.
Was that before you broke up or after? I bought a fucking gateau.
- Black Forest - Oh.
My favourite.
Cheers.
LAUGHTER INDISTINCT CHATTER MOBILE PHONE RINGS Can't talk now, Mum.
Later.
Later, OK? Bye.
You sure this is the right way? That's what the map says.
- Oh, my God! - No, we haven't - Yes, we have! - Well, whatever! Where do we go now? - Right.
Yes.
Turn right.
- You're not indicating.
- No, that's left! - Turn right and go straight on - Freds, it's right.
- What are we doing? This isn't the right way, I told you! INDISTINCT BICKERING Stupid piece of crap.
We're just gonna have to ask someone for directions.
Who? Hello? Hello? Is anybody here? For fuck's sake! Excuse me, gentlemen, could you tell me - how to get to Gobblers End, please? - Well, I wouldn't start from here, love.
- No, I reckon I could show you.
- Great.
- All right.
- Listen to the nice man, Freddie.
LAUGHS Come on.
Right.
Gobblers Knob Gobblers End, you call it See the roundabout? Well, go back there Anybody here? Hello? Hello? Second on the right.
Got that? Yeah, thanks.
Hey.
You kids want to see something before you go? BELL TINKLES Are you leaving something for me, lovely? Let me out, please.
- Cos I've got something for you.
- Get out of the way! Little tradition of ours.
- Hang on, mate, do you really think? - Shut up, kid.
Come on, sweetheart, you know you want it.
Get off! Get off of me! Freddie, help! Freddie, help! GUNSHOT You made me miss.
Sorry, but I've never missed before.
All right! That's it, that's enough, leave her alone! Go.
Beware the moon.
Whatever.
Freak! - Fucking hell! - Did you see the size of that gun? - OK, let's get out of here.
- Did you see the size of the knife? THEY ALL TALK AT ONCE Katie, what happened? Fucking hell.
I don't know, he just started shouting at me.
I didn't even do anything.
Panda? Panda? Thomas, is she OK? - Um, Eff? - What? It's them.
It's them.
Freds Freds THEY ALL SHOUT Just stay calm.
It's probably nothing.
Just chill out.
HORN BLARES SHRIEKING AND PANIC HE MOUTHS What are they doing? Eff SHOUTING AND SCREAMING Pull the car over.
Stop the car.
Stop the car now! Effy, stop the car! Wankers.
Effy! - Are they going? - What dickheads.
PANTING I think we should go home.
They're gone now.
We're safe.
As long as we, "Beware the moon".
Obviously.
Why are you laughing? - It's not fucking funny! - All right, babes.
Chill out.
Sorry.
I was SMOOCHING Come on.
Not far now.
MUSIC FROM CAR It's so heavy.
OK.
This way, right, Freds? Yep! You'll like it here, mate.
It's all right.
THEY CHAT Echo! Echo! Guys, can you hear an echo? Listen.
Echo! So what's the deal with Thomas? I don't know! Cook, like, had carnal relations with Pandora! Don't call it that.
His girlfriend's a no-good hussy and he's acting like everything's fine! It's messing with my head! How you doing, mate? Wasn't expecting to see you tonight.
I mean, it's great you're here.
Just thought.
After what Cook said at your gig.
I would like that we keep that between us for now, yes? Yeah.
Yeah, course.
Whatever you say.
Freddie! Is this the right way? That's right, sweetheart.
Just up here.
# Turn back the curtain # There's nothing to see inside # If you want your freedom # It's your free will to hide # I sit there in the corner # Hailing for a ride - # Staring out the window - Owww! # Wishing you could die OTHERS HOWL # We're only waiting # For someone else # We're only waiting # For someone else to blame # Oh, I look in myself, I see nothing that I like # Crowds don't make me happy # Alone, I don't feel right # So I hold back the punches # There's no-one left to fight # Turn to look around you # There's no-one by your side # We're only waiting # For someone else # We're only waiting # For someone else to blame # The weight on your shoulders # Will drag you down # You could try much harder # But I know you won't # But I know you won't # But I know you won't # But I know you won't # Panda.
Are you all right? Yeah! Fine! I mean, relationships just can't stay the same, can they? Can't always be lovely and lush and not full of weird silences all the time.
People can't always be perfect cos that's not real, is it? It's not real, cos things change.
Don't they? Yeah.
They do.
But you can tell me.
If something's up, I can help you.
Everything's great.
I love Thomas, he loves me, everything's just, tickety-flippin-boo! OK, if you say so.
Look what I found.
Shrooms.
Are they funny ones? Uh-huh.
What are you doing? > Found some shrooms.
Want some? No! How d'you know they're not poisonous? I don't want you ruining my party by, like, vomming blood! And this isn't supposed to be that kind of party, Eff.
It's just drinks and sausages.
- No mushrooms.
- Whoa, mushrooms? Who's got mushrooms? - Give me some! - Freddie! What? Chill out.
Did I hear mushrooms? Emily! Don't you fucking dare! > Don't listen to her, Ems.
All part of the fun, I suppose.
Come on, Panda.
Live a little.
No, thanks! Love is our drug! THEY ALL GROAN Sometimes you need a little more sugar in your bowl, though.
C'est vrai ça, ma jolie? Go on, Panda.
Eugh! Minging.
Don't cry.
Don't fucking cry.
How long till it kicks in, Eff? Not long.
RAP MUSIC I am so fucked.
Do I look fucked? Eff? In the shed.
I was just wondering Um What were you gonna say? I'll tell you later.
Bye.
Katie's cold.
FRENETIC MUSIC FADES AND MIXES Banana Slugs/Cosmonaut by High Places # I looked up # Saw a cloud # Floating by without a sound # And then as slugs do # Their yin-yang thing, a hermaphroditic # Little fling # I looked up # Saw a cloud # Floating by # Without a sound # I looked up # Saw a cloud # Floating by # Without a sound MUSIC BECOMES GARBLED That's what it's about, isn't it? Forget all that other shit, cos it's not about that, it's about everything else.
Like when you open your eyes at night and you see that face You see that face Listen, Effy.
I didn't even want you here in the first place and you've ruined my night.
The only reason I invited you was because you can drive and you're embarrassing yourself.
It's pretty sad.
Throwing yourself at your mates' boyfriends, really.
Katie, come and sit down.
I'm not being nasty or anything! I don't even think you realise you're doing it, it's just it makes you look like a desperate whore.
OTHERS LAUGH AND TALK Who moved the stuff? What? Who moved the stuff? The bags are gone.
What are you talking about? For God's sakes.
This is so not funny, guys.
Chill out, somebody GUNSHOT GUNSHOT Turn the music off.
GUNSHOT Oh, shit! BRANCH SNAPS, BIRD FLAPS ITS WINGS GUNSHOTS Eff, I don't like it! It's OK, Panda.
GUNFIRE CONTINUES Turn the lights off now.
Everything off.
Quick! JJ, get that fire out! Ssh.
Everyone, round the fire! Get down, get down.
RUSTLING CREAKING OWL HOOTS DISTORTED SCREAMING EERIE PULSING NOISE RUSTLING PULSING NOISE GROWS LOUDER VISCERAL SCREAMS THUD, SCREAMING STOPS What the fuck? What the fuck do you think you're playing at? You fucking idiot.
You nearly had Jesus! You fucking prick! I should fucking kill you You scared the shit out of us, prick.
It wasn't me! There were psychos in the woods with a gun! I saw them nick your stuff so they started shooting.
They're fucking mental! Shut up.
Joke's over.
You bloody scared us, you stupid fucking tosser.
All right, calm down.
I took your sodding knapsacks, children.
- They're just poachers, you daft wankers.
- Poachers? After rabbits and shit.
Not you.
I was just trying to freak you out.
Why? Cos I thought it'd be funny! And it totally was! "Ooh, turn off the lights! Ooh, we're gonna die!" LAUGHS - What the fuck are you doing here? - I smell a shindig, I'm round.
Well, you weren't invited so you can just fuck off! Aw! But we're having such a nice time! Your tits look fucking mint from this angle by the way, Kit Kat.
- What is your fucking problem? - Come on then, Rambo.
What do you want? My fucking blood? Cos you've fucking taken everything else! You've taken fucking JJ and now he's nicking her off me as well! She hasn't told you, has she? Fuck me! - I'm so glad I didn't miss this.
- What's going on? Effy doesn't want me any more.
Do you, princess? No.
So? Why should we care? Freddie's with me now.
Right, Freddie? Freddie? Freddie! Right.
I'm going for a walk.
Katie.
Well, I think she took that pretty well, don't you? Just go! No-one wants you here! No-one likes you! Just fucking go! Do what he says.
Fuck Off.
Whatever.
Have nice lives, all of youse.
You coming? Nah, yeah, stay here with your friends.
Look at at their little faces.
You're all such whizzo chums, aren't you? Ain't that right, Eff? Ain't that right, Panda? Panda's been worried lately, Eff.
Says you don't see each other as much as you used to.
That right, Panda? Yeah? I said to her, "Cupcake, maybe if you didn't spend as much time - with my cock in your mouth " - Shut up! Come on, Thomas, let's go! Stop! It's fine.
I know.
Know know what? < Wait.
It was one time, right? Your party.
It was only once, right? I need to sit down.
Um, sorry, Slugger, I don't think you heard.
Me fucked your girlfriend.
Like, multiple times.
What do you want me to say? I don't want you to say anything! Hit me.
Come on! Come on, hit me! You are such a sad little boy.
Thomas, please.
I stopped it.
I love you.
Just give me a chance.
I have given you chances! And you have not taken them! Time and again you've lied to me! It's too late now! I fell in love with this girl, she was good.
She was honest and doughnuts and Now she is gone, and this new one, I don't like her.
She makes my heart hurt.
Please, please, Thomas, come back.
LAUGHS Effy, are you OK? I'm really tripping, there's something on me.
Effy, calm down.
- Get off me! Get off me! - Calm down! It's me! # And she's clinging to the nearest passer-by # She's lost control # And she gave away the secrets of her past and said I've lost control again # Effy, wait! Effy! PANTS RUSTLING Who's that? Effy? Is that you? It's all right.
It's me.
Why are you crying? I I don't know.
Aw! Look at you.
You're, like, totally monged, aren't you? VOICE ECHOES Oh.
What? Fuck, there's loads of bugs in your hair! Where? Get them out! Get them off me! Effy! Effy! What you doing? - The bugs! The bugs! - What bugs? There's nothing there.
SHE LAUGHS BOTH LAUGH SOBBING Please don't take him from me.
What? Freddie.
Please don't take him from me.
Hey.
Hey.
Don't do that.
Get your fucking hands off me! As if you could take him from me! God, you're so up yourself! Your life's so shit, you want to crap all over mine! Don't invite fucking psychos to my party and don't push your flat little tits in my boyfriend's face, OK? I said, OK? Cos I swear, babes, I'm serious, if you ever try and touch anything that belongs to me ever again, I will fuck you up.
SPITS I said OK? I said OK? PANTING EERIE, AMBIENT MUSIC PLAYS GASPS - Hit me.
- What? Just once.
I wanna feel something.
Hit me! Phew! Bit cramped in there.
Me, two girls and one tent - nightmare! You ladies like to wriggle, don't you? Anyway.
I need a wee and a Tic Tac.
- Morning.
- Good morning.
Anyone seen Pandora and Thomas? And where's Katie? Thought she'd be with you, Fred.
Probably still asleep.
Katie? > Katie? > Tom has gone home.
He's gone.
I gotta go now, please.
Katie! Katie! Freddie! Yeah? Katie! > Nothing.
Just need to find her, OK? Katie! # Oh, I've been knocking on that door in my sleep # Fight my fireplace glow # I've been knocking on that door in my sleep # Fight my fireplace glow # To keep me away # To keep me away from home # Papa get the rifle from its place above the French doors # They're coming from the woods # Oh, they're coming from the woods # And Mama you're running too # Oh my mama you're running too # I'm countin' it to the sky # Oh, I'm countin' it to the sky # I'm movin' back to face the lack of home # THUNDER 'Are you saying you don't know where you are?' No, I mean I can't find her.
Why not? Because I just fucking can't, OK! Just send an ambulance, will you? Keep calm Calm down.
I think I hit her.
No, I mean I can't find her.
With a rock, and now she's I was tripping, I didn't mean to.
Please just How long does it take to have a wee, Eff? - Tell me where you are.
- It's Gobblers End.
Coming! # Happiness hit her # Like a train on a track # Coming towards her # Stuck still no turning back # She hid around corners and she hid under beds # She killed it with kisses and from it she fled # With every bubble she sank with her drink # And washed it away down the kitchen sink # The dog days are over # The dog days are gone # The horses are coming # So you better run # PHONE RINGS Hi, this is Pandora.
I can't get to the phone right now.
Thanks.
Bye.
Hi, you're through to Freddie's dyslexia helpline.
Hi, this is Emily, sorry I can't take your call right now.
Naomi.
I'm not here.
Wait for the beep JJ's phone.
I can't take your call so just leave me a message.
Please call again later.
PHONE RINGS Hi! Freddie, hi! Are you? I should've gone with her, Eff.
Middle of the night, we just let her go.
She's got nine stitches in her head.
She was laying in those woods all night.
Alone.
Fuck knows what happened to her.
She's not even woken up yet.
But she's OK, right? She is OK? Yeah, I guess.
Eff? Eff, you there? Look, I gotta go.
I'm meeting Em at the hospital.
Freddie, wait.
LINE GOES DEAD MONITOR BEEPS - She woke up, then? - Yeah.
She woke up.
Fred, listen, she pulled my hair.
So what?! She pulled your hair, so you smashed her head open? It was an accident! I was tripping! She choked me, I couldn't breathe! I can't see any bruises.
I can't see nine fucking stitches! But when did it happen? Em, it was an accident.
I promise.
You hit her with a rock and you just left her there.
She could have died.
Panda, listen MONITOR BEEPING # When you leave # I ain't coming # What you have # Comes to nothing # Whose car is this? Dunno.
But they do have a sterling collection of power ballads.
Where we going? OK.
Where are we? # I ain't coming # What you have # It's you and me, babe.
It's always gonna be you and me.
#.
.
Comes to nothing # It's always you and me.
# When you leave # I ain't coming # What you have # I hope they lock that Stonem girl up when they find her.
We're going shopping.
For Love Ball dresses.
Come to the college ball with me.
Like we're together.
You humiliated me.
Effy doesn't even want you.
But you fucking owe me, Freddie.
OK! Fuck off! Fight! Fight! Fight! Clearly not shagging tonight, then.
No, JJ.