Small Town, Big Story (2025) s01e02 Episode Script

1
"I'm a valuable commodity."
I see a dude coming
at me, trying to kill me?
I tell myself, get killed!
Catch the ball!
Booya!
Touchdown!
I make miracles happen, baby!
"I've got an ant problem, Jerry."
Nobody's looking out
for Rod Tidwell.
And I'm supposed to be a superstar!
No, not today, no.
"Crops have been destroyed
as far as the eye can see."
"There is talk of a beast."
They whisper the name Dobhar-chu.
Do you believe it, An Dagda?
- Oh my God.
- I liked her.
Ah no, love.
She's not well, love.
Down your daggers.
He is of Dagda, and I am an Dagda.
All shorts.
He's all shorts and no Mescal, isn't he?
"Then she sit there
denying and denying"
and I feel a misty coldness
climbing up my back
and the skin on my skull
begin to creep
and I feel a clamp around my neck
and I cannot breathe air.
God bless you, Jerry!
But this is what you're going
to do for me. Are you ready?
I hear a voice, a screaming voice
and it were my voice.
This is a very personal
very important thing.
Hell, it's a family motto.
And all at once I remembered
everything she'd done to me.
Here we go.
Show me the money.
Show me the money!
Phew.
Peasant girl number two. Wow.
So, does that mean
you're in the show?
No, Dad, it's just a callback.
- So, what's that then?
- You know what a callback is.
- Don't play daft.
- I'm not playing anything.
What is it, like
a second interview?
Yes.
A call back.
Sorry. Forgot I married Helen
fucking Mirren over here.
It's only a small part
and I probably won't even get it, so
Is that kettle boiled?
I thought I heard it
like, a while back.
Were you nervous?
I'd split myself doing
something like that, you know.
Gets it from me.
Obvs.
I was just doing lines from a play
that we're studying at school
so it was alright, actually.
Oh, Keith McCurdle was there, Dad.
He cried after his audition.
- Like, a lot.
- He's quite mad, honestly.
The maddest person to ever run
a petrol station, I'd say.
I suppose lots of girls will be
getting callbacks
until they work out
what they really want.
Toast there, son
if you care for such things.
Wait, who's getting a callback?
You can be my Oscar date.
Actually, no, that's weird.
- Wait, did you really, though?
- Yeah.
Don't gloat, Joanne. You know
what your brother's been going through.
I dropped out of college, Mum.
I don't have cancer.
- Wisht would you.
- Fine, I'm taking a sabbatical.
No, cancer.
You never say cancer
in a doctor's house.
That's like saying
Hamlet in a theatre.
- It's Macbeth, you plank.
- That's great, Jo.
I didn't realize it was the kind of TV
show that had orcs and shit in it.
It's only a callback.
Here, when did this come in?
Production can suck my nuts.
"So, in terms of our principal cast
where are we? Are we happy?"
- "What's up?"
- "More than happy, Brad."
"We sent a basket of cheese
or whatever to Jemima Rowlands"
"and she's excited about playing Bridget.
She's bringing her cat."
Alright, sorry I missed
the morning meeting.
I think my gardener's stealing from me
so I need to catch up.
- "Where are we at with the male lead?"
- "Really close is what I'm hearing."
"Well, has he signed contracts?"
Pen has not been put to paper per se
but he is deeply committed in principle.
- Yeah, that's what he said a month ago.
- "And he meant it."
Olaf Frieburger
is a huge name right now.
- "I can't believe I got him."
- Fuck is that? I didn't ask for that.
Son of a Danish film director
theatre trained in London
"started chopping wood on TikTok"
"2 million followers
made the Bond shortlist"
models for both Dior and M&Ms.
Wow, what a busy fucking bee.
I just hope he's not using
our offer as leverage
and we'll spend all
of pre-production chasing a shadow.
He's the guy, Brad.
Trust me.
Yeah, and what about
all the personal shit?
Well, he does have
very many children.
Yeah, Google informs me
he has 14 fucking kids.
- What is he, a seahorse?
- Well, you know what that tells us?
"What does that tell us?"
Olaf Frieburger never pulls out.
Was that a sex joke there, Wendy?
Yeah, it was, Brad.
"Not bad.
Pretty solid."
- You ready, Dad?
- Shit the fucking plants, there he is.
- Are you alright, Sonny?
- Are you alright?
Better than ever
as the saying goes.
Are we still doing
the pub for lunch?
Aye.
I have a committee thing, so
I found porn mags in there one time.
What's in there now?
It's so nice to have you home, son
reminding us of things.
We've completed option agreements
on most of the recurring cast.
And we're going to spend
a few days here in Drumban
hoping we can save money
on some day players with local hire.
- I did the town musical there once.
- Yeah.
Jemima Rowlands has started
vocal coaching and accent work.
But what we really need now is clarification
on who's playing the Dagda.
- We know who's playing the Dagda.
- Because it's a very important role.
Not just narratively
but culturally.
No, yeah, I've read it.
- And I know you have your heart set on
- Olaf Frieburger. My mind too.
But I suppose what everybody's
wondering is
surely it's time to walk away
from the woodchopper.
He was out, he was in, he seems
likely to withdraw his commitment
the next time Skittles come calling.
- Kelly.
- Carol.
Carol, here's what we know
Olaf Frieburger never pulls out.
Do you know how many kids he has?
We could revisit
the backup casting list.
What backup casting list?
We were instructed
by your colleague at the studio
he wanted us to have
a backup casting list
in case your primary
casting options fell through.
My colleague is such a clever clogs.
I'm so lucky to have him.
Oh, here we go.
- What is that?
- A fucking sparrow now.
Honestly, this town
every day with this shit!
Sorry about your stuff.
Oh, it's fine.
It's only a bag my mother left me.
That's one of the local girls
who came in for background lines.
Any good?
Will you be wanting to photograph
everyone who's auditioned?
Would that be weird?
No. I mean, no.
I just, I actually liked her eyebrows.
I thought maybe
she knew of a good place.
I just color mine in, at home.
Oh, I know.
Have you finished with that pastry?
- "Hey, Wendy, it's Brad."
- Talk to me, goose.
"Listen, Olaf Freiberger's
agent just called."
"He's gone AWOL."
"So, now we don't have a leading man."
What is that, chewing?
And with a production this size
comes responsibility.
Every effort must be made to comfortably
house our valuable cast and crew.
We hope any temporary inconvenience
will be dwarfed by the success
we'll all share in
as the I am Celt family.
Yours sincerely, Wendy Patterson
executive producer.
That's a big ask, no?
I want to help the production
in any way possible
but my family are fairly fond
of living at home.
It's ridiculous, Seamie.
What other local dwellings
have been requested?
- She only wants my house?
- Well, that we know of.
Keith, has anyone else
mentioned it at the petrol station?
No.
I say fuck them, Seamie.
How did your audition go, Keith?
Well, it's impossible to know
what they're looking for.
- Not talent, anyway.
- Or passion.
I don't know, Seamie.
If yours is the only house they need
I'm not aware
if it's on the official agenda
but are we planning on discussing
the fact that dead birds keep dropping out
of the fecking sky, or what?
- I mean, I'm not a holy man.
- But not ideal, as signs go.
Well, the agenda is actually fairly packed
Keith, as it's a lunch meeting.
I could squeeze dead birds
into Thursday night's agenda.
No, you're grand.
Sure it'll be fine.
- I'll just duck.
- Why?
- Did you audition?
- Of course not.
Can you imagine?
I find selfies intrusive.
- Bet you did, though?
- No.
Drama and bloody history
shite does nothing for me.
I'm more of a song
and a dance kind of a girl.
- Well, I mean, that's plain as day.
- Maybe if it was a screen musical.
Right, like Mama Mia or something?
- Ah, yeah, that's more my jam.
- Could I trouble you
for some cutlery for my soup
and sandwich combo?
- Are you with the film crew?
- Guilty.
- Not that we're dodgy.
- You need cutlery for your sandwich?
No, I meant cutlery for my soup.
So, a spoon?
That's the one.
A spoon.
I think it's just by your bowl there.
Oh, yeah.
Very swish.
- It's like dining at the Ritz.
- Oh, aye.
The very same.
Then my work here is done.
Mama Mia.
Sorry.
You're eating.
- Of course you are.
- I'll send you an email.
No, no, no, you're grand.
Just enjoying a quick bite.
- What's up, Tony?
- Just had a call from the TV people.
They're going to be doing a site visit
of the school grounds this week
a reccy, so there might be
a few strange bods about.
Just FY your I.
No bother.
Good to know.
I'll let you get back
to your eating.
- Is he gone?
- Aye.
I'll let you get back
to your eating.
I think
he was talking to you.
Why did you engage him
in conversation?
With me down there doing that.
Don't know really.
It would be very bad
if we got caught, you know?
- You get that, don't you, Catherine?
- It's Mrs. Proctor.
Says it on the door.
It was a joke.
You know, I've been thinking
I might try to get a job on the TV production.
- What?
- Yeah, they're always looking for runners
- and what have you.
- Runner?
But you're desperately
needed in the surgery as my
Runner?
Maternity leave cover receptionist.
And top-notch colleague.
Well, Sandra's not going
to be pregnant forever.
The last five years
tell a different story.
Look, if you know the producer lady
you could put a word in for me.
Who says I know the producer lady?
A little birdie.
Does that little birdie happen to work
behind the bar at the White Ridge?
That committee
made a pledge of silence.
- An omerta, if you will.
- She called the surgery looking for you.
- You were busy.
- Who, Wendy?
When?
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Look, she's called a few times.
I forgot to tell you
because I'm a terrible receptionist
and you should hire
a temp until Sandra's back.
Or you could just master
our beloved post-it system.
Can't believe the committee
from the White Ridge
made an actual pledge of silence.
There were candles.
It was nice.
I always struggle
to control the bleeding.
I know it's because I don't leave it
to dry long enough
but surely life's too short.
Welcome back!
Your father's dying to see you.
I've been here a week
I've called over a few times.
Oh. I'm sorry, darling.
We've been away
golfing with the couples.
Golfing with the couples?
New course by the sea.
The Reverend's there now.
I'm away to meet him in a minute.
You could join if you like.
I'm needed here, actually.
Oh, yeah, the TV thing.
It's been quite a few years.
We've Zoomed.
Golf with the couples by the sea?
Well, since he retired from the church
we'd be up there three weeks
in the month, I'd say.
It's nice to have a different vista
now and then.
How's he doing?
His short game needs work.
Well, I'd like some proper time with
the two of you while I'm in Drumban
- to talk.
- Of course.
I'm sorry I'm rushing now, darling.
It's Meredith Mount's 70th
and we're doing back nine doubles.
We'd love to have you over
for dinner next week, of course.
Okay.
So glad I caught you.
What's your greatest fear?
Spiders.
Or heights.
If I was up a ladder
and I saw a spider, well
I wouldn't like it one bit.
When were you last up a ladder?
What's your greatest fear?
Losing the ability to walk.
Well, you conquered that one.
We did it together.
So, I suppose that
that makes you fearless now.
I suppose I am.
Mind if I hit the light?
I'm shagged out today.
Aye, go for it.
Pretty sure even I can find
my way to the bed in the dark
given I'm already sitting on it.
You alright there?
Did you happen to move the bed?
Night, Seamie.
"Who do you want to be next?"
"Whether you want to be a grizzly bear
or a yoga bear"
"there's a fitness or wellness program
just for you at Big Jim's Gyms."
"So, roll in on your way home
from the office"
"and we'll sort you right out."
- But here's the big news.
- "What, you ordered a rewrite?"
What?
No.
Olaf Frieburger
is back in the saddle.
- "I thought he pulled out."
- No.
Just had a little
mental health moment
after receiving some undesirable
paternity results
but his agent tells me
that's not uncommon.
"That's great news."
"Nice save, Wendy, nice save."
"You know, maybe you should
take him out when he gets there."
"A game of golf, maybe."
Golf?
Yeah, that's an idea.
Hey, Wendy, did Carol
from casting happen to mention
Happen to mention that you have
a backup casting list, just in case
my pick doesn't work out?
She did, Brad, as it happens.
"The background, backup option really
just shows an abundance of caution"
"which I think is smart.
Don't you agree, Mr. Donald?"
"I, I think we ought to keep the process
going until we're absolutely sure"
- "that we have Frieburger signed on."
- "Yeah, okay."
Well, here's what we know
about Olaf Frieburg
"I seem to be having issues
with my Wi-Fi."
"Hello?"
"Okay.
So, before the technical issues"
He's not going to pull out, Brad.
But fine, we'll keep whatever you want.
Fine.
Bye!
- Super busy.
- "No, no, wait, Wendy!"
"You can't run from history."
- "But I can hide."
- "Yes."
"You may hide."
"Before us gone two warriors
who cannot see eye to eye"
Sorry, lads, could you scootch
down a bit? Thanks.
"They can't do anything since
they were attacked by those birds."
"And we'll get at them!"
Get plenty of shots
of the road, Jules.
Great parking space
for production vehicles.
When will I get to read the scripts?
They're only releasing pages
on a need-to-know basis.
Right now all you need to know is how many
camera trucks fit at the location.
It just doesn't feel like something
you get thanked for at the BAFTAs.
Oh, believe me
as an event it is overrated.
Well, I'd rather
believe it with my own
Flipping heck!
Shitcakes me!
- Why'd you do that?
- Why'd I do what, Glenda?
Why did I fall into a hole?
Is that what you're really asking me?
Why did I fall into a fecking hole?
You're being very lippy for someone
who just fell into a hole.
I'll see you in the Volvo.
- "Where did you fall?"
- "On my ankle."
Oh, fuck!
Oh, I didn't realize you
were going to twist the bastard.
Hey, wiggle your toes for me.
How's it looking?
Which foot was it again?
What?
There's no massive damage done
but you might have a tiny little fracture
in your fourth metatarsal.
What, like David Beckham?
Sure.
Nothing a couple of weeks off
your feet won't help, okay?
Well, my boss is going to love that.
And what is it you're doing
with the TV show, Jules?
I'm with locations.
Put some weight on there.
You decide where they
film the scenes and whatnot?
Well, my boss does.
I'm more the fella you call
when one of our big camera trucks
- is blocking your driveway.
- Ah, right.
Put some weight on it.
Back up. Okay.
Sit upright.
We'll get your sock on
but leave your boot off for the day.
I've got a lot of crocs at home.
Cool.
So, the producers, do they usually
hang around for the whole shoot?
Well, I guess it depends what kind
of producing role they have.
Well, what if their role was
a handsome woman around my age?
Oh, that sounds like
Wendy Patterson.
But she'd be a lot
younger than you-hoo-hoo!
Enter.
There she is
my own little Debbie McGee.
Please stop calling me that.
I know you!
I'm the spoon man.
- Do you know the egg man?
- Oh yeah, from the pub.
- I remember you.
- That's a nice bar.
Does your girlfriend
like working there?
Well, it's her family pub
so it's more like indentured servitude.
Shelly's just a friend, actually.
- Oh, her name's Shelly?
- That's my auntie's name!
I'll let her know that.
Is that the phone ringing, Debbie?
I used to love a bit of magic.
So, all being well, Wendy might be
leaving town next week, you reckon?
Ah, I see
Get out of it.
An old friend.
Wendy's here for the long haul, Doc.
So, you've plenty
of time to catch up.
Great
Great.
It's like a maze in here.
Like a maze in a hospital.
Sorry, are you lost?
- Miss Patterson. There you are.
- Hi.
I'm Wendy.
I'm with the TV show.
Apologies, I was showing
your team the canteen.
Yeah, such a useful facility.
Shame it's only available
on the weekends.
- Yes.
- There are definitely sections
of the car park
we can utilize, Wendy.
- How are you? Jules.
- Thank you, again
- Location scout.
- Hey. Catherine.
Schoolteacher.
I've actually been meaning
to cycle more myself anyway.
How long have you
Been in the chair?
Ten years.
You?
- A lot less.
- Right.
- Don't leave them seats.
- Oh God.
Pleasure to meet you.
I'm Matt.
I'm a really big fan of television.
Cool.
Well, I make television.
Good one, Wendy.
Matt is our maths teacher.
Wish I had your job, though.
Lucky you.
Coming from here, doing all that.
Unless you had anything to do
with the Game of Thrones finale.
Then off with your head!
I hope I am Celt
has white walkers in it.
It's a historical drama, Matt.
Well, inspired by history.
Oh, right.
Sorry, what does that actually mean?
You're the history teacher, right?
Yes.
Absolutely my favorite subject in school.
Loved it.
All those wars.
I'd love to see your classroom.
Great.
So, your show.
It's about Celts, is it?
I left Ireland before high school.
Secondary school.
But my father thought this place was
all ruffians and lunatics, of course.
And we thought you lot
in Belcoo were just snobby.
And actually observant about us.
So, you're a long time gone then?
I used to come back a lot more.
But itchy feet and, you know, life.
After the divorce, my mum would send me
back every chance she got
but I'm not sure if that was for her
or for me, you know?
I do, aye.
And now you're back.
To tell the story
of your people to the world.
I have to tell you
I'm a bit of a Celtic history nut.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah. I mean
I'm just so glad it's being
told by a woman, you know
because there's layers of feminism
within the Celtic culture
- that the world could really learn from.
- Yeah, yeah, could be fun.
Shaping this story
into something that someone would put
their phone down to watch
is such a slog.
Are you ready yet, Mum?
- Been waiting in the car an hour.
- Come in, Joanne.
Come in.
And meet the producer of I am Celt.
This is my youngest.
Joanne.
Yeah, she's working on her patience.
Sorry.
It's just I
I have lines to learn.
So, yeah, eager.
I heard you did
a hugely impressive audition.
- No way!
- Mum!
I studied
The Crucible in school too.
Gave me a lifelong love
of shows featuring witches.
The clothes, spells
Yeah, we didn't even know
she was going to audition.
Well, I'm glad she did.
Oh, that is me late.
I have a date
with an interactive spin class.
Same.
Say hi to your dad for me.
Were you friends with my dad?
Kind of.
We did a little traveling together.
It was so nice
to meet you, Catherine.
Mrs. Proctor, I mean.
- I'll see you soon, Joanne.
- Bye.
Well?
Morning batch is in the fridge.
Will you stop eating it with your fingers?
We're getting complaints.
- That's what Gordon Ramsay does.
- He doesn't supply gyms.
How'd your audition go, Jimmy?
Shite.
- I got recognized though.
- Did you, Jimmy?
Maybe you should start
charging for autographs.
I could give you a free gym membership.
All you have to do is ask.
- Can I exchange it for rent?
- He's trying his best.
It's not that I don't love you
all living with me still.
- But promises were made.
- Come on, Mammy.
Jenny's carrying my baby
we're family.
And once I've paid off the IVF
and the legal fees for the court cases
- then I'll be out your hair.
- Well, then
And once Big Jim's Jams
hits the shelves
That's the spirit, Jenny. Once the nutritional
wing of the operation takes off
then we'll be up
and away to fame and fortune.
My hole.
I love you, Jimmy
but that's exactly what you said
about your sleepwear range.
I still believe Big Jim's Jimjams would
work in a different economic environment.
- Oh!
- Covid dampened people's spirits
for two-person pajamas
and I think you know that, Mother.
"Yeah, she said to say hi."
So, where did you travel together?
There was a bunch of us.
Where did we go that time?
Up north I think, somewhere.
Didn't realize
you two were so close.
Well, I'm a mystery, Catherine.
Wrapped in an enigma.
Dipped in cheese.
She's very pretty.
Uses filler by the kilo, I'd say.
Look, she said that she really
liked my audition
so it's not even cheating if you text her
and say how brilliant I am.
Shouldn't you just be
concentrating on your studies?
I mean, I'd really like
for one of you to get a real job.
He already has a real job
with me in the surgery.
I'm with Mum on this one.
Dad
Look, I'm sure if you're right
for the part, you'll get it.
I don't know what good
a text from me would do.
I don't even have her number.
It's written on a post-it
on your desk.
I hear you've met my girls.
And your son's applied
to be a runner.
Well, get used to weak tea.
What a lovely life you've built.
Says the superstar TV producer.
It's all a lie, of course.
The young one's alright.
Is your plan really
to just never talk about
what happened
when we were younger?
Well, I'm not much
of a plan maker, you know?
Okay, how about this?
Why don't you run me through
what you think happened
the night of the millennium?
Well, let me see.
The Queen and Tony Blair
sang Auld Lang Syne
in a big tent on the Thames.
I'm not going anywhere, Seamus
so get out as many jokes as you want.
We went into the woods.
Fireworks were going off
and we got a bit amorous.
This was over 20 years ago, Wendy.
Barely started medical school
for God's sake.
We got a bit amorous
Then I went for your tit
and that move proved contentious.
Seamie
Something took us.
Something from above.
I don't know what it was
why it took us, and why it let us go.
But there you have it.
A night I'll never forget.
Cause of the spaceship
that is, not your tit.
Do you remember the blue room?
Like it was in my own house.
But the only thing
I recognized in it was you.
Well, this is new.
Do you remember the alpaca?
I remember it all, Wendy.
Well, this is great news.
This is great God damn news!
I got to tell you
the first ten years after this shit
I spent a lot of time thinking
I was literally insane!
Lived in Dubai for most
of that, which did not help.
The next ten, I thought
the whole world was crazy!
So, obviously I got into TV.
But the last few years
I have been convinced
that the only one
who is fucked up is you!
You sound like my wife.
You tried to convince me
it didn't happen.
Your dad did most of the work.
You didn't back me up!
You made me sound like some crazy girl
who did too many jagerbombs.
- Well, we had!
- You didn't back me up, Seamie!
No.
No, I didn't!
My bad, as you'd say.
What the fuck happened to us?
Literally the maddest thing
that's ever happened to anyone ever.
Oh my God
I can't wait to talk about it.
My therapist is
about to call the cops.
- I have a lot of questions.
- Everyone will.
Like, where do we even start?
People are going to lose their shit.
This is going to change everything.
Why would we tell anyone?
Well, because we have to.
Do we?
Why now?
Because now we know it's true.
It was always true.
Well, I fucking know that now!
- So, what's changed?
- You're admitting it!
Only to you, though!
Wendy, fuck.
I'm the local doctor.
That's not something they let you do
when you tell everyone you take rides
with little blue men
from time to time.
There were no little blue men.
Try telling them that, Wendy.
Mork and fucking Mindy.
That's what they'll call us
in the real world.
This isn't LA.
Being abducted
isn't a cool new vibe.
In this village, I'd be one social
level below the woman on the bridge
who throws cats in the water.
People are going to find out.
Not from me, they won't.
And nobody in Drumban
knows a thing about it.
I'm in Drumban.
Yeah, but you're just the crazy lady
who came back from LA
and thinks she's best friends with ET.
Aye.
Wendy, I'm so sorry.
But what good would the truth
do anybody now?
Wendy, what are you doing?
Well done.
Oh, that's just, like, medicine
and medical instruments and stuff.
People will be sicker
because of that, what you just did.
Great. soggy fucking bandages.
Here they come.
"Oh my God
how many of them are there?"
They'll be needing plenty of diesel.
"And breakfast rolls."
"That young one's
going to get herself killed."
"What's she doing?"
- "She'll be squashed flat."
- "Aye."
- "Idiot."
- "This way, this way."
Yeah, keep it through
keep moving through, please.
I don't know
what their actors are like
but their trucks are doing a good
impression of an invasion.
Not sure if I should salute them
or fire at them.
Time will tell.
Are you okay?
- Yeah?
- "Oh, hey."
"Wendy, it's Brad here in LA."
Yeah, it's really late here, Brad.
What's up?
Look, I just got off the phone
with Olaf Freiberger's attorney.
We play pickleball together.
"Called in a favor."
So, Olaf is pulling out
of I am Celt.
"He's got a project set up with Mattel"
for a live-action movie
of those M&M characters
paired with the Magic 8 Ball
or some shit.
"He also admitted that Olaf was using our
offer to get him a pay bump at the studio."
- Where do you play pickleball?
- "Chasing Mr. Frieburger"
"has obviously eaten up
much of the casting period"
and I'm told costumes needs
his character next week
which is fucking soon.
Yeah. Yeah.
That yes
the week after this week.
8Listen, I don't want to impose
any actors on you, but
Nor can you, Brad
per our agreement on this project.
I, I do have a shortlist.
No, Brad, we haven't even
discussed my other options yet.
"What options?"
"Look, I know what
you're going to say but"
I, I kind of feel that Arnie Hammer
is due a comeback.
"I'm sure he's open to offers."
"Big Jim's your only man."
I have the guy.
Yeah?
Who is he? Do I know him?
No. He's new.
He's local.
Which makes sense
given our timeframe.
He's got a big, big screen presence.
He's strong.
Strongly recommended
strongly recommended by
- What, what's that, Brad?
- I didn't say anything.
You had the casting picks
on the last two projects.
This one's mine, okay?
"I literally didn't say
anything, Wendy."
Yes, I fucking knew it.
8You knew what?
I knew that you'd be cool about this
Brad, and I want to let you know that
I appreciate you
trusting my instincts.
Says a lot about a man.
Yeah, well if you're sure.
- Do I sound unsure?
- Kind of.
I'm going to email over the casting
notice before I go to sleep.
- You'll approve it?
- "Look"
I do CrossFit with
Arnie Hammer's orthodontist.
- "I could put in a call"
- Just sign off on the fucking thing, Brad.
Please?
Look, we'll, we'll cast around him.
Thank you.
Goodnight.
Yeah, yeah.
We'll talk tomorrow.
Cool. Coolio.
Talk then.
Okay, bye now.
That was Carol
from casting.
Well, what did she say, Jimmy?
That show I auditioned
for a small role in
The Celty one?
I thought that was another big no.
They had someone cast to play
the God of fertility and agriculture.
That's quite a combo.
- Olaf Frieburger pulled out.
- That's a first.
Carol from casting thinks
the producer sees something in me.
James, what does that mean?
It means
I got it, Mam!
Holy fuck!
Did you hear that?
Your clever daddy's
going to be a movie star!
Are you alright, Mam?
Jimmy, my television there
you're going to be on it
not selling cheap
gyms or whatnot?
It's just a TV show, Mammy.
And you're going to be
the fucking star of it!
I am Celt.
I am Celt!
I am Celt.
I am fucked.