Solar Opposites (2020) s02e07 Episode Script

The Unlikely Demise of Terry's Favorite Shot Glass

I'm doing this
for the good of the wall.
- For the Wall!
- The Wall!
The Duke is dead.
We don't know that he's dead.
I'm not in charge of the Wall.
I just live in it.
- Why?
- Nobody needs to know there's a way out.
I mean, what are they gonna do?
Run out there and get eaten
by an owl?
No. It's safer and better
to build a new world here.
I I believed. I believed in you.
And I believe in the Wall.
Thank you for helping me reach
my destiny.
Thank God I always keep
a Cherry Blast Gusher on me.
Fuck! My tiny leg is broken!
Fuck you, Tim.
I'm not dying out here.
I am not dying out here.
I am not dying out here.
Gotta get up in a tree.
Just like in Jurassic Park,
you're always safe in a tree.
You're safe in a tree.
Safe in a tree.
Ugh, I wish I hadn't thrown out
that Gusher.
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm. Mmm.
- You're not dead?
- What the fuck?
This is for everyone you hurt.
Who knew a truck-sized possum
would be such a little bitch?
- That was just a baby.
- Then where's its mother?
What the hell?
Shit, barricade that door!
What is this place?
- Kid's toy. A spaceship.
- What?
the Predator spaceship playset
from the 2007 movie
Alien Versus Predator: Requiem.
That's the Predalien.
The alien-slash-Predator hybrid.
That's how I know
this set is from Requiem
and not the original AvP.
The Predalien was only
in the sequel.
Don't you dare mansplain
the Predalien to me.
It appears in the final moments
of the first film,
so it's technically
in both movies, you dumb bitch.
Okay, you know your AvP.
Let me guess: you followed me
out of the Wall to kill me
to finish what
your old pal Tim started.
Ugh. Tim.
- Wrong again.
- What? Then why did you
I don't want to talk about it.
What's all that?
Some stuff I put together in case
I ever had to escape the Wall.
Everybody was always like,
"You won't need the bag."
"Why would you ever need
the bag?"
Yeah, well, looks like
I was right again, as usual.
- Firecracker?
- Oh yeah.
- We could throw it at the possum.
- It would probably just piss it off.
- What's this?
- Purell.
You gotta put something on that leg
if you don't want to get an infection.
- Thanks.
- Hey, I still hate you,
but I need you alive and alert
if you're gonna help me
secure this place.
- Thanks.
- Just to be clear,
once we're out of here,
I'm still going to stab you in the eye.
You know, I did what I had to do
for the good of my people.
They weren't your people!
You're a stupid terrorist
who destroyed our society's only chance
at peace and stability.
You should feel free
to go fuck yourself.
- You wish.
- Like I would waste a wish on that?
Yeah, right. You wish.
Wow, you really got me.
It's getting late.
I'll take first watch.
No way I'm sleeping
with you sitting there.
I'll take first watch.
Fine. But don't you dare touch
my penis while I'm asleep.
What? I would never touch
your disgusting penis!
No one has ever touched it
and that sure as hell
isn't changing tonight!
Relax. Your twig's over there.
I cleaned off the blood
and sharpened it for you.
Thank you.
De nada.
I'm cooking mushrooms.
I found them in the corner.
- No, I'm out of here.
- That's not an option.
If either of us step outside,
old lady possum will kill us.
- There's nothing there.
- Trust me, Jeff's watching.
Also, I've decided
to call her "Jeff."
I know it's a girl,
but I had a roommate once
who had a face just like a possum
and his name was Jeff.
Why is she waiting for us?
There are trash cans up and down
the street that have easier food.
I think we have a Jaws 2 situation
on our hands,
the one where the momma shark
gets revenge on them for killing her kid.
Her brain's the size of a peanut,
how long could she hold a grudge?
Hours, days, months?
- Months?
- It's also possible
that you and I are already dead
and this is Hell.
In that case,
we'll be here for all eternity.
You're full of shit.
I'll take my chances outside.
So, how about that breakfast?
I imagine you're pretty eager
to get back
to your terrorist pals
in the Wall.
Oh, they're probably planning
some big extremist party
to celebrate
all their successful terrorizing.
- That's fucked up.
- I'm never going back to the Wall.
Because this is so great?
I told you, I don't want
to talk about it.
I can respect that.
Oh, please tell me.
Please, please tell me, please
Shut up!
After we stormed the palace,
Tim went crazy.
He didn't want to tell anyone
there was a way out. He
He stabbed me,
and he pushed me out the hole.
No fucking way.
So Tim stabbed you
in the front
just like he stabbed me
in the back.
He didn't stab you in the back!
We were never on your side
to begin with.
Regardless, it sounded cool.
Man, what a piece of shit.
At least I always told you
what the deal was.
I thought I knew him.
I thought he was a good person.
Power does crazy things
to people.
Uh, not me.
I mean, I handled it perfectly
and was an excellent,
excellent leader.
You flooded the bottom levels!
People were trying
to burn down the whole Wall.
I had no choice!
Whatever, we can at least
both agree that Tim sucks.
I can't imagine what's happened
to the Wall with him in charge.
They need a real leader.
- How are the mushrooms?
- Disgusting.
What are you,
like a chef or something?
Before I was put in the Wall,
I worked at Benihana.
Uhhh, whoa, what are you
Benihana's my favorite restaurant
of all time.
I went there
twice a week for years!
Are you serious?
It's so oily.
Didn't you get tons of diarrhea?
Tons and tons of diarrhea!
But that's a small price
for an onion volcano.
You know,
it's not just food
"It's an experience."
What I want, you've got
and it might be hard to handle ♪
But like a flame
that burns the candle ♪
The candle feeds the flame ♪
Yeah, yeah,
what I've got, full stock ♪
Of thoughts and dreams
that scatter ♪
If you pull 'em all together ♪
And a-how, I can't explain ♪
Oh yeah ♪
Well, well, you ♪
Ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ♪
You make
a-my dreams come true ♪
You, you,
ooh ooh ooh, you ♪
Well, well, well, you ♪
Oh yeah, you make
a-my dreams come true ♪
You, you, you ♪
Yeah, oh yeah ♪
You ♪
On a night when bad dreams ♪
So the Benihana founder
is Rocky Aoki
- The father of Steve Aoki.
- I don't know who that is.
He's like this really famous DJ!
And Rocky's also the father
of Devon Aoki.
- I'm drawing a blank.
- Supermodel-slash-actress.
She was in 2 Fast 2 Furious
and Sin City.
- And these people are famous?
- Kinda, like 10 years ago.
I just realized I don't know
your real name.
Your parents didn't name you
"The Duke," right?
- Well, my real name is
- Hold on.
Ugh. Guess I shouldn't have gone
for that extra portion of ant brain.
- Yeah, right.
- What's with the tone?
- Oh, come on.
- What?
Don't make me say it.
Guys aren't supposed to bring it up.
What? Stop being a dick,
I told you about Aoki.
Okay. it's pretty clear
that you're pregnant.
No way, that's impossible.
I've been seeing signs for a while.
I just assumed you didn't want
to talk about it.
Who's the father,
some Benihana hunk?
What'd he do, shoot that shrimp
right into your pocket?
Oh god no.
No, no, no, no, no.
This can't be happening.
You're also six to eight weeks late
on your period.
- Excuse me?
- It's close quarters in here.
I'm just supposed to not notice
you're not having a period?
God, I wish there was a way
we could know for sure?
Oh, but there is.
What are you doing?
The creme in a Cadbunny Creme Egg
is basically made
of the same stuff used
to make pregnancy tests.
That is one hundred million percent
not true.
I put a drop of Cad Creme
on each of these dimes
to test them using
our urine samples.
First, we'll try mine,
which will function as the control.
Am I using "control" right?
- Sounds right.
- Okay, here we go.
Okay, no reaction.
Now let's try your urine.
Or as I like to call it, "yourine."
- Jesus Christ!
- Congratulations, Mom.
Aren't you glad I've been saving
acorn caps of our urine?
No! This is terrible!
Hey, come on!
This is a miracle!
The first baby to be born small!
- It's not mine, is it?
- What! We've never even had sex.
Good. You promised to never touch
my penis when I'm asleep,
and I expect you to honor that.
The father it's Tim.
Whoa. You mean asshole Tim?
- Yes.
- Shit.
I can't believe this is happening.
How am I going to take care
of a child out here?
Whatever happens, you and I are going
to figure this out together.
I promise you.
Wait a second, you've been saving
our urine all this time?
I call it our-ine.
Oh look, you weren't complaining
when you took
all those warm, bitter baths.
Yeah, I guess part of me knew,
but I just didn't want to lose
the option of a relaxing midday soak
to let my troubles melt away.
Turns out it was piss.
Keep pushing, Cherie!
Keep pushing!
- Push!
- Ahhhh!
I've got it!
It's not crying, Duke.
Why isn't it crying?
It's a lime Gummy Bear!
Cherie, wake up!
You're having another nightmare
where you give birth to a piece of candy.
- It was so real.
- What was it this time? Twix?
- Gummy bear.
- Green?
- Yeah, it was green.
- Holy shit, I guessed it?
Here, drink this.
You gotta stay hydrated.
I've been doing some thinking.
This Alien Versus Predator:
Requiem playset
is no place to raise a child.
Oh, come on.
Sure, it's no Masters of the Universe
Castle Grayskull
Fortress of Mystery and Power
for He-Man and his Foes,
but it's not so bad .
It's starting to fall apart.
We've patched things
with the extra Predator dreadlocks,
but once those run out,
there won't be anything
to protect us
and the baby from Jeff.
I forgot we were calling
the possum Jeff.
This was always meant
to be temporary.
A baby needs
real medical supplies
and non-insect foods.
Plus, if we could get in contact
with some regular-sized people,
there's a chance we could be turned
regular size again ourselves.
But where could we even go?
We have to go to the corner
of happy and healthy.
The Wallgreans? Are you crazy?
It would take weeks to reach on foot.
I know. But we have to do it
for the sake of the child.
It's so weird when you say "the child"
all dramatic like that.
- Please stop.
- Just one more time.
- Fine.
- For the sake of the child!
Anyway, besides Wallgreans,
the only other option would be the Wall.
Okay, maybe we try for Wallgreans.
But what about Jeff?
Getting past her
will be impossible.
Dare I say im-possum-able.
When we work together,
nothing is im-possum-able.
- We're really doing this?
- We're doing it.
Soon as I open the door,
make a break for the grass line.
I'll get your back.
Maybe we should just stay here
and reinforce the alien egg chamber.
Come on, you trust me, right?
I trust you, The Duke.
Fuck. That's so bright.
Go. Go now! Go!
Hey! Over here, you piece of shit!
I'm over here!
Duke, what are you
Aww, dang it, I broke
my Babu Frik collectible shot glass!
What did you do, you dummy?
It was the only way
to stop her.
You have to get to Wallgreans.
I can't do this without you!
Yes, you can.
I hope this makes up
for some of the bad things
I did in the Wall.
I was a bad leader, Cherie.
I love you but like
in a fatherly way,
not like in a horny way.
Please don't touch my dick
when I'm dead.
I won't.
I love you too, Duke.
You asked me once
about my real name.
My real name is Ringo.
Oh, I think scrubs are great ♪
Please tell me
my water didn't just break.
Fuck, fuck
flyness of a scrub
is up for debate ♪
Depending on
the scrub in question ♪
That other song has it wrong ♪
Holler! ♪
Yes! Scrub scrub scrub ♪
You ain't bad! ♪
No, not now!
Ice cold Pez, score!
Nom, nom, nom.
Yech. I just realized
Pez tastes like chalk.
Yes, yes, scrubby scrub, scrub
scrub, scrub, scrub ♪
Scrub, you've been misjudged ♪
You've been marginalized ♪
It's okay.
It's okay.
We finally made it, sweetie.
I just wish Ringo was here with us.
No! No! No!
All of this,
The Duke's sacrifice, the journey,
it's all been for nothing.
There's no Wallgreans
and nowhere else to go.
I don't like it, and I don't know
what we'll find there,
but we have to go back
to your father.
We have to go back to the Wall.
There it is.
Nothing's ever easy, is it?
Fuck you, bird.
Thank you, strange creature.
- I like Lightning McQueen.
- Okay.
I don't know what
we're going to find there,
but it's been over a year
since Tim took over
and he's a psycho,
so I can only assume
it's going to be bad.
That's right. So keep quiet.
Cherie Day. What the fuck?
I don't understand.
Everything looks so clean,
and the people look happy.
Attention, citizens,
please welcome our leader Tim!
Wallians, welcome to
the first annual Cherie Day.
Before we get to celebrating
our fallen hero,
there is an important
announcement to make.
But you won't be
hearing it from me.
We captured the murderer.
It was
a rogue cricket
who got in the Wall.
I've seen that look before.
I'd rather just be alone, so
Ch Cherie?
Seems like
everyone knows me now.
You're alive.
How are you alive and tan?
Don't worry about that,
I'll explain later.
I'm here because I want
to save the Wall,
- and I need your help.
- Save it from what?
I was in the crowd.
I saw that look in your eyes.
The cricket.
It was a cricket
Stop. You know it's all an act,
that Tim lies and hides
his violence to protect the Wall.
Okay, yeah, I've seen it.
He's just like the Duke.
He's not like the Duke.
He's worse.
But it keeps the Wall safe.
You have to think about the future.
I know.
I've seen the future.
And it's one
where Tim can't be in control.
- You have a baby?
- Her name is Pezlie.
- Pezlie?
- Yeah. She was born in a Pez dispenser.
We're just two people.
We can't take Tim on.
Everyone loves him.
He's so powerful.
Nothing is im-possum-able
when we work together.
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