Son of the Beach (2000) s01e12 Episode Script
Attack of the Cocktopuss
Ah.
Musiden, musiden Yeah! Dude, your music rocks.
Oh.
Danke schoen.
Yeah.
We're looking for a German dude who plays, like, a bitchin' ax.
We're into German techno Polka.
Oh, I just strum the guitar a little.
It's myway ofrelaxing.
But thanks, anyway dude.
All right.
Heh.
Musiden, musiden Grrrr! [ Growling .]
Hi, Notch.
What, I didn't scareyou? No.
Hey, Notch, I was just telling the kids about the legend ofthe cocktopuss-- How everyyear, on this very day the cocktopuss visits Malibu Adjacent.
Why is it called a cocktopuss? Well, because it has 8 tentacles like an octopus and a head like a cock-- A-doodle-doo.
You know, a rooster.
Ahem.
Anyway there are lots of myths about the cocktopuss like it lives on the ocean floor.
And it has a mouth so big it once swallowed a whole shipload ofseamen.
Ugh.
But don't worry, kids.
[ Chuckling .]
There's no such thing as a cocktopuss.
[ Grrrr.]
[Announcer.]
Tonight's episode: [ Announcer.]
Son ofthe beach is not recommended for men who use Viagra.
[ Mayor Massengil .]
The Mayor Anita Massengil Seaquarium built at a cost to Malibu Adjacent taxpayers of $68.
9 million.
A small price to pay considering the hoards oftourists it attracts.
Hah! Who cares ifit's empty? Come on, Mother.
Don't be such a gloomy Gus.
Remember, a smile is just a frown turned upside down.
Shut up, Kody.
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
I'm just upset because the city council wants to recall me.
Can you imagine what it's like to have a powerful body like that all overyour ass? This is Fishin' With Vern 'n'Jordan.
What's on the menu for today,Jordan? Well, I tell ya, Vern it's the elusive California smelt.
We're gonna catch it, we're gonna kill it we're gonna cook it and we're gonna consume it.
So here goes.
Areyou ready? All right! Hey! Help! Whoa! That didn't take too long.
Hey, Vern, this thing's no California smelt.
Hang on there, Jordan! Hang on! [ PanickyYelping .]
Staywith 'im! - This can't be no smelt! - You got 'im! Damn! Look at that thing.
I never seen anything like it.
[ Massengil .]
There's your proof.
The cocktopuss is notjust some old sailors' tale.
[ Reporters Clamoring .]
Vern.
Vern,Jordan you guys saw the cocktopuss up close.
How would you describe it? Well, sir, it was long and hard and it had these blueveins running through it.
[ Reporter.]
Oh! Oh! One last question.
And up on the top therewas a whole bunch of extra skin surrounded sort of like a, uh a blowhole.
But now, it also had blackwiry hair and big, slimy pink lips.
And it smelled like trout.
[Jordan .]
Ooh-wee! Itwas awful.
Thankyou.
Thankyou, Vernon and Jordan.
You are both fine cracker Americans.
I am offering a $1 00,000 reward for the capture-- I mean, rescue ofthis creature.
I thinkyou can see just how badly I want to get my hands on a cocktopuss.
[ Guitar Playing .]
Hey, Chip, you are really good.
Shoot, dog you got it goin' on! You really think so? Chip, we should jam together.
Did you know I blow sax? I read it on the bathroom wall.
But can you believe it-- Some kids just asked me tojoin their rock band.
Really? Well, you gotta let me know when you're gonna be playing.
'Cause, you know, I like to get on the dance floor and-- Uh! Shake, shake it! Me, too.
You know, I always wanted to be a go-go dancer.
A go-go dancer? Wow.
What would that be like? [ Sixties Psychedelic Rock.]
[ Clap .]
Listen up, troops.
The mayor's given us a mandate.
I have a man date Saturday night.
Gang, it turns out there really is a cocktopuss.
- Ah! - Ah! That's right, and we've gotta catch it.
Ah! Why is it up to us? Because ifwe catch it the mayor doesn't have to pay the $1 00,000 reward.
But be careful.
This cocktopuss is multi-armed and dangerous.
[ Grrrr.]
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Stop! No! Don't! You're too big, cocktopuss! [Whimpering .]
Oh, I'm sorry.
Was it something I said? What's the matter? Wow, you have a really big gash.
Oh, you poorthing.
Don't worry, Mr.
Cocktopuss.
I know the one person who can help.
Cocktopuss, I come in peace.
But if need be, I carry pepper spray and a rape whistle.
[ Urrrgh? .]
Notch, he doesn't seem that dangerous.
Well, he's been very nice to me.
Now, Mr.
Cocktopuss, no touching there.
Notch, I'm worried about his health.
Look at that wound.
And he looks hungry.
I'll bet he lives on Plankton.
Where's Plankton? B.
J.
, Plankton is a small planet.
It's very close to Krypton.
[ Grrr Grr Grr.]
Hey, you knowwhat he sounds like? Anybody seen Free Willy? No, but I've been offered plenty ofit.
Girl, it's a movie.
It just came to my hood.
The whale in it sounds just like this cockto brother.
Well, it just so happens I speak a littlewhaleish.
[ Moaning .]
Uh, Notch? You knowwhat? We don't have much time.
I'm gonna go get some help.
Hey, dudes, it's the German dude.
Oh, what's up, German dude? I want to be a rock star so I decided to enlist That's German! Right? Ja.
Ja! He did it again.
He said, ""ja.
" What was that song you were singing before? Oh.
This one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Musiden, musiden Um, ok, that's-- Dude, that's cool.
That's great.
That's cool.
But, um, I think it's gotta have more of a beat.
Yeah, yeah.
Something more like, uh-- Something more like this.
Musiden!Musiden! Musiden!Musiden! Go ahead.
Sing.
[ Singing In German .]
Oh, yeah! [ Massengil .]
Captain, I want sailboats motorboats, houseboats fire boats, rowboats, tugboats, das boots! What doyou mean, they drowned? Get me more men.
Doyou read me, mister? Excuse me.
Doyou remember the Village People? My favorite was always the sailor.
Mayor Massengil? What is it,Johnson? Can'tyou see I'm busy? I knowwhere the cocktopuss is.
But never too busyforyou.
Please, sit down.
Let me fluff this pillow.
Now, you were saying? OK, but before I tell you I need a guarantee that no harm will come to the cocktopuss.
I made a promise to B.
J.
, and I intend to keep it.
Notch, how long have you and I been friends? We've never been friends.
Exactly, and, as a result I've never had to lie toyou.
I just want to help heal that poor creature and help it find its home.
OK.
Well, in that case, the cocktopuss is located-- Come on, take it easy! Take it easy with the guy.
It's a harmless animal.
[ Crying .]
There, there, B.
J.
You're a big, fat liar, Notch Johnson! You said you would save him.
I'll never believeyou again.
Never, ever! I didn't know.
Looks like the Massengil Seaquarium just found its new star attraction.
[ Moaning .]
Mayor, how can you lie to me like that? "' Lie"'? I said I'd help find the cocktopuss a new home.
And I have.
[ Mocking Chuckle.]
Yeah? Well, I'm telling! [ B.
J.
.]
Please stop poking myfriend! No! [ Barker.]
Ladies and gentlemen! Ladies and gentlemen! Step right this way! Right this way! And see the 1 2th wonder oftheworld-- The Magnificent Cocktopuss! He dices, he slices.
He's more dangerous than O.
J.
He's the most ferocious creature ever to crawl on the ocean floor.
The Cocktopuss! And then, I grabbed that cocktopuss with my bare hands and I wrestled him to the sand.
[ Reporters Clamoring .]
Mayor! Mayor Massengil! Now thatyou've captured the cocktopuss, who gets the reward money? Well, since I captured the cocktopuss Malibu Adjacent gets to keep it.
Doyou hear that, city council? - Mayor! - Mayor! Another question! That ain't fair.
You know what I mean, Vern? That's right.
We was the ones that captured that varmint.
That reward money belongs to us.
Yeah, well, don'tyou worry 'cause I got me a little plan.
Like my daddy always said "' Don't get mad.
"' Do something to get back at the people who done madeyou mad in the first place.
"' That's catchy.
He's going limp.
I think he's dying.
It's like he got kicked right in the tentacles.
I let the mayortrick me.
It's all myfault.
B.
J.
, there's an old expression whales are fond ofsaying-- [ Moaning .]
It means, please forgive me.
Notch, I forgiveyou.
All I know is we gotta get the cocktopuss' scaly ass back to his cockto crib.
But how? Sometimes, you take the law in your own hands.
Sometimes, you do the right thing, baby.
Sometimes you bust a seaquarium.
Ein, zwei, drei! Ein, zwei, drei! Musiden! Musiden! Musiden! Musiden! Musiden! Musiden Musiden! Musiden! Musiden! Musiden! Goin' on! Hey, how you doin'? I'm an executive from the record company.
I really dig those crazy, way-out sounds that you kids are makin' and I wanna sign you cats to a record deal! Yeah! Wow! Yeah! Yeah! Let me askyou a question.
You guys like groupies? Yeah.
- [ Snaps Fingers .]
- Oh, noway.
Oh, sweet.
Dude.
Oh! Let me askyou another question.
Any ofyou kids got a drug problem? Oh, yeah! Good foryou! Come with me, boy.
I got somethin' forya.
Whoo! Try and be quiet! Notch, why don't we hoist B.
J.
up into the air-conditioning vent? Good idea.
B.
J.
, I'll hoistyou up to that screen and see ifyou can climb through the duct.
Here.
This way.
Wait up! [ Farts .]
I--I see the duct's end.
Notch! OK, I'll go first in case there's any trouble.
But, Notch, there's no room to get by.
Don't worry.
Just assume the position.
"'Assume the position"'? What areyou, L.
A.
P.
D.
?.
Ah heh heh heh! Your hair is tickling me.
Shh! Notch.
Ow.
B.
J.
, you're such a tight fit.
This is it.
Howwe gonna get in, Vern? Well, I hadn't thunk that far ahead yet.
Maybe theyjust forgot to lock the door.
Areyou nuts? Well, I'll be my sister's husband.
Hee! This way.
Look, Notch, a vent.
I'm afraid ofheights.
According to my blueprints, you should now be about 6 inches offthe ground.
Oh.
Guard! [ Snap.]
[ Gasp.]
Whoa! Stop.
It's a laser.
Jamaica, this is your specialty.
You go first.
[ Exhales Deeply.]
[ Reggae.]
Jamaica, how low can you go? Ooh, Notch, that chloroform worked great.
Actually, it was one of my socks.
[ B.
J.
.]
There he is! I told you we'd saveyou, Mr.
Cocktopuss! Hold up.
The cocktopuss is buggin' out.
[ Moaning .]
He's pointin' at somethin'.
Back away from the cocktopuss! Yeah.
We found it.
Ifyou ain't gonna give us the reward money then we're gonna take it back and start our own seaquarium.
But ifthey seen us they're gonna know who took the son ofa bitch.
We could kill 'em.
Jordan, that's murder.
Puhh! This is California, you idiot.
Oh, yeah.
Good thinkin'.
Rahh! Rawwwrrr! - Aah! - Aah! Mayday! Mayday! Hyah! Oh Hyah! Go, cowgirl.
Now, pull on the rope! Pull, Mr.
Cocktopuss.
Pull! Come on! [ B.
J.
.]
I've got 'im.
Ha ha! We did it.
Oh, Mr.
Cocktopuss, I'm so glad we were able to freeyou.
Yeah.
Now we can finally getyour big cockto booty back to the beach.
No.
Remember? You're not supposed to touch me there.
Ha ha ha! Looks like Mr.
Cocktopuss is feelin' kind of cocky.
- Ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Heh heh heh heh! That's great! Heh heh heh! Nice job.
Go ahead.
Get in the car over there.
Thereyou go.
Hey, Chip, my man! What it is, buddy.
Hey, holmes, whoa! Hold on one second.
Hey, got a little thought forya.
All right, listen.
I don't think thatyou're reallythe kind ofguy that's into all the partying and all the girls and all the stuffthat goes with being in a rock band, you know? But that sounds great! Yeah.
That's whyyou're out.
OK, thankyou very much.
Butwhy? I thought I was really shaking my groove thing.
That's show business.
Ha ha ha ha ha! Later, cockto, bro.
- Grrr! - Whoo! Well, you better take off before the mayor finds us.
[ Whimpering .]
Take good care ofyourself, Mr.
Cocktopuss.
I'll always treasure our friendship.
I can't believe the cocktopuss got away.
Damn it.
I'll kill Johnson forthis.
[ Howling .]
Hey, that must be Mrs.
Cocktopuss.
B.
J.
, he never told you about her? Men--they're all the same.
[ Chuckling .]
Oh, hi, teens.
Notch Johnson here.
Tonight's show was about something you kids are doing a lot ofthese days and that's open-mouth kissing.
Sure, it's fun.
It's exciting and sometimes it tastes good but open-mouth kissing can also be dangerous.
Diseases can be passed through your saliva diseases like influenza, and even worse the sniffles.
That's why I'd like to recommend the Notch Johnson tongue condom.
Easy to use, effective, and comfortable.
Watch.
Excuse me, young lady.
Would you like to open-mouth kiss me? Areyou wearing a tongue condom? Then let's make out.
Wow! That's great.
And you know, teens it's less expensive than a pack of cigarettes or a cheap bottle ofwine.
So until the next time this is Notch Johnson saying ride the big one.
Musiden, musiden Yeah! Dude, your music rocks.
Oh.
Danke schoen.
Yeah.
We're looking for a German dude who plays, like, a bitchin' ax.
We're into German techno Polka.
Oh, I just strum the guitar a little.
It's myway ofrelaxing.
But thanks, anyway dude.
All right.
Heh.
Musiden, musiden Grrrr! [ Growling .]
Hi, Notch.
What, I didn't scareyou? No.
Hey, Notch, I was just telling the kids about the legend ofthe cocktopuss-- How everyyear, on this very day the cocktopuss visits Malibu Adjacent.
Why is it called a cocktopuss? Well, because it has 8 tentacles like an octopus and a head like a cock-- A-doodle-doo.
You know, a rooster.
Ahem.
Anyway there are lots of myths about the cocktopuss like it lives on the ocean floor.
And it has a mouth so big it once swallowed a whole shipload ofseamen.
Ugh.
But don't worry, kids.
[ Chuckling .]
There's no such thing as a cocktopuss.
[ Grrrr.]
[Announcer.]
Tonight's episode: [ Announcer.]
Son ofthe beach is not recommended for men who use Viagra.
[ Mayor Massengil .]
The Mayor Anita Massengil Seaquarium built at a cost to Malibu Adjacent taxpayers of $68.
9 million.
A small price to pay considering the hoards oftourists it attracts.
Hah! Who cares ifit's empty? Come on, Mother.
Don't be such a gloomy Gus.
Remember, a smile is just a frown turned upside down.
Shut up, Kody.
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
I'm just upset because the city council wants to recall me.
Can you imagine what it's like to have a powerful body like that all overyour ass? This is Fishin' With Vern 'n'Jordan.
What's on the menu for today,Jordan? Well, I tell ya, Vern it's the elusive California smelt.
We're gonna catch it, we're gonna kill it we're gonna cook it and we're gonna consume it.
So here goes.
Areyou ready? All right! Hey! Help! Whoa! That didn't take too long.
Hey, Vern, this thing's no California smelt.
Hang on there, Jordan! Hang on! [ PanickyYelping .]
Staywith 'im! - This can't be no smelt! - You got 'im! Damn! Look at that thing.
I never seen anything like it.
[ Massengil .]
There's your proof.
The cocktopuss is notjust some old sailors' tale.
[ Reporters Clamoring .]
Vern.
Vern,Jordan you guys saw the cocktopuss up close.
How would you describe it? Well, sir, it was long and hard and it had these blueveins running through it.
[ Reporter.]
Oh! Oh! One last question.
And up on the top therewas a whole bunch of extra skin surrounded sort of like a, uh a blowhole.
But now, it also had blackwiry hair and big, slimy pink lips.
And it smelled like trout.
[Jordan .]
Ooh-wee! Itwas awful.
Thankyou.
Thankyou, Vernon and Jordan.
You are both fine cracker Americans.
I am offering a $1 00,000 reward for the capture-- I mean, rescue ofthis creature.
I thinkyou can see just how badly I want to get my hands on a cocktopuss.
[ Guitar Playing .]
Hey, Chip, you are really good.
Shoot, dog you got it goin' on! You really think so? Chip, we should jam together.
Did you know I blow sax? I read it on the bathroom wall.
But can you believe it-- Some kids just asked me tojoin their rock band.
Really? Well, you gotta let me know when you're gonna be playing.
'Cause, you know, I like to get on the dance floor and-- Uh! Shake, shake it! Me, too.
You know, I always wanted to be a go-go dancer.
A go-go dancer? Wow.
What would that be like? [ Sixties Psychedelic Rock.]
[ Clap .]
Listen up, troops.
The mayor's given us a mandate.
I have a man date Saturday night.
Gang, it turns out there really is a cocktopuss.
- Ah! - Ah! That's right, and we've gotta catch it.
Ah! Why is it up to us? Because ifwe catch it the mayor doesn't have to pay the $1 00,000 reward.
But be careful.
This cocktopuss is multi-armed and dangerous.
[ Grrrr.]
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Stop! No! Don't! You're too big, cocktopuss! [Whimpering .]
Oh, I'm sorry.
Was it something I said? What's the matter? Wow, you have a really big gash.
Oh, you poorthing.
Don't worry, Mr.
Cocktopuss.
I know the one person who can help.
Cocktopuss, I come in peace.
But if need be, I carry pepper spray and a rape whistle.
[ Urrrgh? .]
Notch, he doesn't seem that dangerous.
Well, he's been very nice to me.
Now, Mr.
Cocktopuss, no touching there.
Notch, I'm worried about his health.
Look at that wound.
And he looks hungry.
I'll bet he lives on Plankton.
Where's Plankton? B.
J.
, Plankton is a small planet.
It's very close to Krypton.
[ Grrr Grr Grr.]
Hey, you knowwhat he sounds like? Anybody seen Free Willy? No, but I've been offered plenty ofit.
Girl, it's a movie.
It just came to my hood.
The whale in it sounds just like this cockto brother.
Well, it just so happens I speak a littlewhaleish.
[ Moaning .]
Uh, Notch? You knowwhat? We don't have much time.
I'm gonna go get some help.
Hey, dudes, it's the German dude.
Oh, what's up, German dude? I want to be a rock star so I decided to enlist That's German! Right? Ja.
Ja! He did it again.
He said, ""ja.
" What was that song you were singing before? Oh.
This one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Musiden, musiden Um, ok, that's-- Dude, that's cool.
That's great.
That's cool.
But, um, I think it's gotta have more of a beat.
Yeah, yeah.
Something more like, uh-- Something more like this.
Musiden!Musiden! Musiden!Musiden! Go ahead.
Sing.
[ Singing In German .]
Oh, yeah! [ Massengil .]
Captain, I want sailboats motorboats, houseboats fire boats, rowboats, tugboats, das boots! What doyou mean, they drowned? Get me more men.
Doyou read me, mister? Excuse me.
Doyou remember the Village People? My favorite was always the sailor.
Mayor Massengil? What is it,Johnson? Can'tyou see I'm busy? I knowwhere the cocktopuss is.
But never too busyforyou.
Please, sit down.
Let me fluff this pillow.
Now, you were saying? OK, but before I tell you I need a guarantee that no harm will come to the cocktopuss.
I made a promise to B.
J.
, and I intend to keep it.
Notch, how long have you and I been friends? We've never been friends.
Exactly, and, as a result I've never had to lie toyou.
I just want to help heal that poor creature and help it find its home.
OK.
Well, in that case, the cocktopuss is located-- Come on, take it easy! Take it easy with the guy.
It's a harmless animal.
[ Crying .]
There, there, B.
J.
You're a big, fat liar, Notch Johnson! You said you would save him.
I'll never believeyou again.
Never, ever! I didn't know.
Looks like the Massengil Seaquarium just found its new star attraction.
[ Moaning .]
Mayor, how can you lie to me like that? "' Lie"'? I said I'd help find the cocktopuss a new home.
And I have.
[ Mocking Chuckle.]
Yeah? Well, I'm telling! [ B.
J.
.]
Please stop poking myfriend! No! [ Barker.]
Ladies and gentlemen! Ladies and gentlemen! Step right this way! Right this way! And see the 1 2th wonder oftheworld-- The Magnificent Cocktopuss! He dices, he slices.
He's more dangerous than O.
J.
He's the most ferocious creature ever to crawl on the ocean floor.
The Cocktopuss! And then, I grabbed that cocktopuss with my bare hands and I wrestled him to the sand.
[ Reporters Clamoring .]
Mayor! Mayor Massengil! Now thatyou've captured the cocktopuss, who gets the reward money? Well, since I captured the cocktopuss Malibu Adjacent gets to keep it.
Doyou hear that, city council? - Mayor! - Mayor! Another question! That ain't fair.
You know what I mean, Vern? That's right.
We was the ones that captured that varmint.
That reward money belongs to us.
Yeah, well, don'tyou worry 'cause I got me a little plan.
Like my daddy always said "' Don't get mad.
"' Do something to get back at the people who done madeyou mad in the first place.
"' That's catchy.
He's going limp.
I think he's dying.
It's like he got kicked right in the tentacles.
I let the mayortrick me.
It's all myfault.
B.
J.
, there's an old expression whales are fond ofsaying-- [ Moaning .]
It means, please forgive me.
Notch, I forgiveyou.
All I know is we gotta get the cocktopuss' scaly ass back to his cockto crib.
But how? Sometimes, you take the law in your own hands.
Sometimes, you do the right thing, baby.
Sometimes you bust a seaquarium.
Ein, zwei, drei! Ein, zwei, drei! Musiden! Musiden! Musiden! Musiden! Musiden! Musiden Musiden! Musiden! Musiden! Musiden! Goin' on! Hey, how you doin'? I'm an executive from the record company.
I really dig those crazy, way-out sounds that you kids are makin' and I wanna sign you cats to a record deal! Yeah! Wow! Yeah! Yeah! Let me askyou a question.
You guys like groupies? Yeah.
- [ Snaps Fingers .]
- Oh, noway.
Oh, sweet.
Dude.
Oh! Let me askyou another question.
Any ofyou kids got a drug problem? Oh, yeah! Good foryou! Come with me, boy.
I got somethin' forya.
Whoo! Try and be quiet! Notch, why don't we hoist B.
J.
up into the air-conditioning vent? Good idea.
B.
J.
, I'll hoistyou up to that screen and see ifyou can climb through the duct.
Here.
This way.
Wait up! [ Farts .]
I--I see the duct's end.
Notch! OK, I'll go first in case there's any trouble.
But, Notch, there's no room to get by.
Don't worry.
Just assume the position.
"'Assume the position"'? What areyou, L.
A.
P.
D.
?.
Ah heh heh heh! Your hair is tickling me.
Shh! Notch.
Ow.
B.
J.
, you're such a tight fit.
This is it.
Howwe gonna get in, Vern? Well, I hadn't thunk that far ahead yet.
Maybe theyjust forgot to lock the door.
Areyou nuts? Well, I'll be my sister's husband.
Hee! This way.
Look, Notch, a vent.
I'm afraid ofheights.
According to my blueprints, you should now be about 6 inches offthe ground.
Oh.
Guard! [ Snap.]
[ Gasp.]
Whoa! Stop.
It's a laser.
Jamaica, this is your specialty.
You go first.
[ Exhales Deeply.]
[ Reggae.]
Jamaica, how low can you go? Ooh, Notch, that chloroform worked great.
Actually, it was one of my socks.
[ B.
J.
.]
There he is! I told you we'd saveyou, Mr.
Cocktopuss! Hold up.
The cocktopuss is buggin' out.
[ Moaning .]
He's pointin' at somethin'.
Back away from the cocktopuss! Yeah.
We found it.
Ifyou ain't gonna give us the reward money then we're gonna take it back and start our own seaquarium.
But ifthey seen us they're gonna know who took the son ofa bitch.
We could kill 'em.
Jordan, that's murder.
Puhh! This is California, you idiot.
Oh, yeah.
Good thinkin'.
Rahh! Rawwwrrr! - Aah! - Aah! Mayday! Mayday! Hyah! Oh Hyah! Go, cowgirl.
Now, pull on the rope! Pull, Mr.
Cocktopuss.
Pull! Come on! [ B.
J.
.]
I've got 'im.
Ha ha! We did it.
Oh, Mr.
Cocktopuss, I'm so glad we were able to freeyou.
Yeah.
Now we can finally getyour big cockto booty back to the beach.
No.
Remember? You're not supposed to touch me there.
Ha ha ha! Looks like Mr.
Cocktopuss is feelin' kind of cocky.
- Ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Heh heh heh heh! That's great! Heh heh heh! Nice job.
Go ahead.
Get in the car over there.
Thereyou go.
Hey, Chip, my man! What it is, buddy.
Hey, holmes, whoa! Hold on one second.
Hey, got a little thought forya.
All right, listen.
I don't think thatyou're reallythe kind ofguy that's into all the partying and all the girls and all the stuffthat goes with being in a rock band, you know? But that sounds great! Yeah.
That's whyyou're out.
OK, thankyou very much.
Butwhy? I thought I was really shaking my groove thing.
That's show business.
Ha ha ha ha ha! Later, cockto, bro.
- Grrr! - Whoo! Well, you better take off before the mayor finds us.
[ Whimpering .]
Take good care ofyourself, Mr.
Cocktopuss.
I'll always treasure our friendship.
I can't believe the cocktopuss got away.
Damn it.
I'll kill Johnson forthis.
[ Howling .]
Hey, that must be Mrs.
Cocktopuss.
B.
J.
, he never told you about her? Men--they're all the same.
[ Chuckling .]
Oh, hi, teens.
Notch Johnson here.
Tonight's show was about something you kids are doing a lot ofthese days and that's open-mouth kissing.
Sure, it's fun.
It's exciting and sometimes it tastes good but open-mouth kissing can also be dangerous.
Diseases can be passed through your saliva diseases like influenza, and even worse the sniffles.
That's why I'd like to recommend the Notch Johnson tongue condom.
Easy to use, effective, and comfortable.
Watch.
Excuse me, young lady.
Would you like to open-mouth kiss me? Areyou wearing a tongue condom? Then let's make out.
Wow! That's great.
And you know, teens it's less expensive than a pack of cigarettes or a cheap bottle ofwine.
So until the next time this is Notch Johnson saying ride the big one.