Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s01e10 Episode Script

Gum, Disease

My nose is stopped up.
My nose is stopped up.
Inviso in Inviso out.
Inviso in Inviso out.
Inviso in There! Seems ok now.
Criminy! What's the ruckus, zorak?
What ruckus?
That ruckus.
Oh. Moltar's sick.
ah ah ah ah Bless you, moltar.
Ha ha ha!
That was odd.
Greetings! I am space ghost.
My guests tonight are recording
artist and tonight show bandleader
branford marsalis
and former partridge family member Danny bona
Zorak, that was less than satisfactory.
Explain yourself.
I don't know.
Don't look at me.
I am looking at you.
Ha! I win, zorak!
My first guest, unlike zorak, is a talented musician.
Please welcome branford marsalis.
Moltar! Bad director!
I can't control it.
Have to use freeze ray.
Ok, now.
No more slip-ups.
Remember, this is a professional talk show.
Hey, space ghost.
"Hey" right back at you, branford.
So, how goes the tonight show?
It's going pretty good, sir.
That's terrific. Mazel tov!
Thank you very much, Mr. ghost.
I see you're chewing gum.
Did you bring enough for everyone? No,
but I'll have some shortly.
No gum? Sheesh.
So, do you enjoy being the tonight show bandleader?
Is it fun? Do you enjoy working with Jay leno? Yes, yes.
In a way, you're like Ricky Ricardo,
except without all that other stuff.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
So, what evil crime have you committed against Jay leno
to become his bandleader?
I don't know.
I would I
I really don't think I've done anything wrong.
So, what does Jay leno do to help defend the universe?
He doesn't do anything to help the universe.
This concerns me.
So, what is he like, then?
He has all the money, all the babes, all the cars.
He's the host. He's just like you.
Hardly! I keep the universe safe!
He doesn't!
And I have more trophies.
Oh, I'll tell him you said that, and I'll tell his wife, too.
Space ghost, shut your big mouth.
Something crawling on the table.
We now join space ghost coast to coast, already in progress.
Who was that?
Some lady.
All rightie.
So, branford
You have a new album. Tell us about it. Yeah. Give us some gum.
Yeah. It's a really nice album.
It's a very dramatic departure from what I usually do.
- It's more like a pop album.
- Uh-huh.
There's a lot of strange mixes on
there speaking of strange mixes,
you know what I had for breakfast this morning?
No, I don't.
A sausage and mayonnaise soup with
a cream of corn omelet Oh, no.
Stop! Don't!
Some milk I left out in the sun for a week
Oh, come on. Don't do that, man. And some fuzzy bread.
I'm going to be sick.
Moltar! Damage report!
I just hurled in my helmet.
Oh, man!
I think it's time to take a break.
Moltar! Not in the control room!
Ok. We're back with branford the branford.
Kick it.
Branford, I wonder does doc severinsen ever show up
and offer useless advice and mess with your horn section?
Well, doc gave me some really good
advice right before the show started.
Ha ha ha! That doc! You've got to love him!
Yeah, he's hype. He's dope.
He's crazy.
Mrrrrr stick 'em!
So, branford, do you have musical knowledge to share with zorak?
Well, not the kind of knowledge
you're referring to, but ha ha ha ha!
What's so funny?
Oh, sorry. Were you nothing.
- Were you saying something, Mr.
- Ghost?
He was asking you where's zorak's gum?
For me. Mine. My gum.
Mine. Not yours.
Zorak, never eat anything larger than your head.
How's that?
Not so good.
What do you mean?
Would you care to join us for dinner after the show?
Absolutely. What do we haverabbit?
I will eat your liver with some fava beans and a fine chianti.
Oh, and some gum.
Yeah, right, zorak. You and what army?
EhThe kiss army.
Aargh! Destroy rock city!
UhRight, right.
Branford I mean, branford Before you go, will you scat?
Well, it's going to cost you, bro.
You know I won 2 grammys.
Make with the scatting.
A one, a two a one, two, three!
Dubba dubba dubba dubba dubba dubba dubba
doo doo doo doo doo solo! dum dum scooba doo doo doo
Hey! Sha doobie doobie wa ba dabba
Good solo. That's great.
Slazoo doo zabbo vaboo delaboo
vazoo zoo zoo zoo
ha ha!
Take it, moltar!
A woo whadaa weedo wa wa
Take it, space ghost.
Zogabooca daba.
Gong gong gong abadabada bada
Uh, space ghost Ah ha ha pzzzt pzzzt
dazit amumba bumba space ghost!
Hey, that's not branford!
It's that partridge kid.
We lost branford.
And the gum?
Ok. Everyone remain calm.
You idiot.
Shut up!
Hello, citizen Danny.
Shut up.
So, what have you been up to lately?
Hi, space ghost. Well, I've been very busy,
but before I even say what
I've been doing, let me just say, I have been on
with some of the biggest talk show hosts in the world What?
- And this is an honor for me.
- Ok.
Just kidding. Ha!
- Listen, you have been in some trouble, haven't you, young - man?
In fact, you're very lucky to even be on my show.
Don't you think you should thank me?
Ha ha ha!
Very funny, spa I'm serious, partridge.
Thank me.
That makes me nervous.
I'm waiting.
Thank you.
"Thank you, space ghost."
Thank you, space ghost.
That's more like it.
So, Danny boy What superpower helped
you battle the child star syndrome?
Uh, I use the power of invisibility.
I have that.
Oh, no kidding.
Would you use this superpower to help other child star victims?
Shut up.
No. Because I have met other child star victims, and I've
got to say that it's my opinion that they pretty much are
getting what they deserve.
Like jan and jace?
Danny, do you mind my asking how much you made from all
those years as a partridge?
I've got about 80 bucks and a lunch box.
That's it?
That show made truckloads of cash!
Boy, did you get rooked!
Shirley Jones, David cassidythat's where all the money went.
It's pathetic how they treat talent in Hollywood.
Right. Uh, talent, personality,
and a quarter will get you a cup of coffee.
No talent and no personality will get you a talk show.
Uhhhhh Danny, what was your
favorite thing about the seventies?
The beginning of the eighties.
Whip it!
Whip it good!
Danny, what was your favorite partridge family song?
I actually have a couple.
Echo valley 26809 was one of my favorites.
By the way, if you call that, you actually get an old lady
in Arizona. It's very cool.
Ah, ha ha ha!
And I woke up in love this I woke up in love this morning
Ew! Joke's over!
I understand you're in radio now. Plug your station!
Um, let's see, uh wait for it.
I work at.
Now what?
Oh. Um, sorry.
I was sitting on the remote so we lost Danny. That's ok.
Ha ha ha!
Say, Danny the Danny Yes, sir, space ghost?
What did you want to become when you were a kid?
When I was a kid, I really only wanted 2 things.
I wanted to be a policeman.
Lousy screw.
And to punch out Donny osmond or, really,
any member of the osmond family.
When I was a larvae, I wanted to be the
all-powerful ruler of the universe!
Me, too.
And to have some gum.
Do you know what gum is?
But I want some.
Have you ever met Donny osmond, space ghost?
I'd rather not talk about it.
Got it.
Danny, you sound rather hoarse.
Perhaps you've got the sick of moltar!
Maybe I should take a look.
Say "ahh."
Louder, please.
Ok. Everyone remain calm.
Space ghost!
You know, I sort-of after this, Leno sucks.
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