Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s02e01 Episode Script

President's Day Nightmare

Tonight, live from ghost planet, it's the first annual
world premiere toon in
with special guests brak, van partible,
lokar, pat ventura,
metallus, Craig mccracken,
black widow, genndy tartakovsky, tansut, and geno mattes.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the council of doom.
Full of beer!
What the what, are you insane?
Ok, ok! I hate him.
Shorts, shorts!
Tonight's broadcast extravaganza
will be simulcast on t.B.S., t.N.T.,
and the cartoon network.
And now, your host for the evening
the principal of outer space
space ghost!
I'm space ghost from coast to coast on the cartoon network.
Welcome to the first annual world premiere toon in.
We're rolling as we speak still? Ok, good.
Tonight, 5 directors from the Hanna
barbera cartoon studio will compete
against each other in front of an
audience of millions and millions
for a big prize.
Each director will be judged in random
categories by the council of doom.
The winner will be the winner When he wins,
and the winning director
will have his cartoon premiered at the end of the show.
Ok. Here to tell you how the votes are
tabulated, from the accounting firm
of brice/westinghouse, blip the monkey.
Huh? What are you saying, blip? What are you saying?
I can't understand a word you're saying!
Ok, get the monkey off the stage.
Now let's meet the judges the council of doom.
Tansut a vicious alien from the s. K. System.
He likes to mold things out of scalding-hot tar.
Hi, mom. Hi, dad.
Ha ha. Ok.
3-time nascar champion and conqueror
of the dust mite planet brak.
All hail brak!
Black widow. And next mmm.
You look really good in those tights, honey.
Ooh, yucky.
Next, metallus an armored warrior whose mere glance
is enough to strike fear into the
hearts of those weaker than he.
He collects fridge magnets and is a champion speed knitter.
And finally, lokar
a hideous locust who hails from the east.
He enjoys literature and books,
and he likes to read colorful pamphlets
to orphans.
- Thank you, space ghost.
- I'm esteemed.
Death to lokar.
Oh, please, zorak. Your insipid habit
of barking out ludicrous commands
is nothing more than a blatant
display of your lack of intelligence.
Oh, thank you, lokar.
That's just about the dumbest thing I ever heard.
Hey, now. You bugs be nice.
Shut up!
All rightie. Who will be our first director?
Are we on, or Ha ha!
Moltar, who's on first?
Who's on second.
- I don't know.
- Who's on second?
Have you ever noticed the beautiful lighting in this studio?
The cartoon network's first annual world premiere toon in
will be right back.
What does that mean?
Hey, theworld premiere toon in is back.
Uh, what's a toon in?
It's a franchise.
Oh, ok.
The first category is director's
composure under extreme interrogation.
Our first contestant is pat ventura.
Tonight's contestants have been briefed on the rules
governing each category.
What you are about to see is real.
- These are not actors.
- They're directors.
- -
- Welcome, pat.
Well, thank you very much. I hope what do you do?
I'm a director.
- -
- Not yet, you clowns!
Uh Tell us about your cartoon.
Yuckie duck is a very hapless, uh, character.
He'll try to please, but no one appreciates it.
It's like the world against him.
Everything he touches just fouls up.
Let's look at the clip.
One juicy limburger cheese sandwich coming right up.
P.U.! This stuff smells worse than the
back end of a wet moose in spring!
- Clip category.
- Council gives
Tansut 12.2.
Black widow 109.
- Brak hello.
- My name is brak.
What is it with you and talking ducks?
Well, being a cartoon character, he just can do anything.
He'll talk, and I guess he talks
because we just give him a voice.
You just decide on his voice, just like that?
Ok, pat, solve the puzzle.
Wrong. Too many vowels.
Oh, sor council.
Hmm. Not so good.
Do you sing?
Uh, uh No, I don't.
No, space ghost.
- Don't sing. Don't dance.
- What do you do, pat?
I'm a director.
Then direct me.
Well, you can do a cartoon with just ok, I'm doing a cartoon.
Here we go.
I ama cartoon.
What's my motivation?
- Where am I?
- Why am I?
What are the other characters doing?
I guess the characters are doing superhuman feats in themselves.
Liking it.
They're doing feats, and I come
in and I say Uh talk to me,
pattie, baby.
Hello. And my name is pat ventura.
Hello. And my name is pat ventura.
- Directing category.
- Council gives
Ooh. Sliding.
Well, thanks, pat.
We'll see you at the end of the show.
Thank you, space ghost.
- You're welcome.
- My next contestant is van partible.
The wrestler?
No. The director of Johnny bravo.
Hello, citizen part Hey, do you know Ric flair?
Food! Food!
You have a Danish.
Yes give me the Danish!
- No, van.
- It's a trick. He'll take your whole hand.
No, I doubt it, but it would be funny.
That would be comedy.
Wait a second, Chester.
Blood is not funny.
- Blood is funny.
- Van is the winner.
I totally love the ghost planet.
Citizen van, you chose the Danish. Why?
- I have no idea.
- It was the only thing there.
It was either a bagel or this cream-cheese frosting thing.
Food selection category.
Council gives Council would have chosen the bagel.
Bad decision, van.
See, what I'm trying to do is chew and talk at the same time
- talking-with-your- mouth-full category.
- Council gives
Ooh, van.
Things aren't looking good.
Bad manners are never in vogue.
I guess. It
- -
- Let's look at the clip.
Oh, man.
I dig it when chicks run.
Say, baby, how's about you and I out of my way, mister.
- -
- Get off of me, you son of a handbag.
That ought to teach you a lesson in manners.
Now,that's my kind of woman.
Say, uh, what's the matter, little mama?
Our prize gorilla has escaped from its cage.
Enough about you.
Let's talk about me Johnny bravo.
- Clip category.
- Council gives
You can do better than that, van.
I guess you're a critic.
Ok. Ha ha.
We'll be back in 2 and 2.
- -
- Only one cartoon will win.
Which one will it be?
Stay tuned to find out.
Oh, goody.
Theworld premiere toon infranchise is back.
Excited? I am.
Welcome back.
Our next contestant is geno mattes.
Just beamed in from the oldenterprise.
Uh, thought I'd say hi.
- Shatner method acting.
- Council gives
Goose eggs.
Ha ha ha!
But you'll have a chance to make that up.
Tell us what you do.
I am a animation director, designer
On the show shake & flick.
Excuse me, space ghost.
You must answer in the form of a walrus.
Are you serious?
- Pardon the intrusion.
- Don't you mean question?
You have a question, lokar?
No, lower brain form.
You mean he should answer in the form of a question.
Yes. He should question in the form of an answer.
Good answer.
Question the answer, geno.
- You're good, buddy boy.
- Now for the clincher.
This is totally serious.
You wouldn't understand my shouting braille when there's
a blender in the oven.
Um, because our deflector shields were up, and communication
was kind of garbled?
- Uh, we'll have to check with the judges.
- Hold on.
You're back in the race.
Thank you, space ghost.
Not a problem, geno.
This is my 15 seconds of Royal fame.
That's enough, son.
Ok. Was I hamming it up a little too much?
Roll the clip.
Survey says
Well, geno, you're doing ok.
See you.
My next contestant is genndy tartakovsky.
Hey, what time is it?
Welcome, comrade gins
It's good to be here, space ghost. Thank you.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Yes, space ghost.
Yes, space ghost.
- Mimic category.
- Council gives
What time is it?!
Tell us about your cartoon.
Yeah, Dexter is a boy genius uh-huh. Roll it.
You were playing withmydoll.
I can't believe you would walk intomyroom, takemydoll,
take it back into your room,
put it on your stinky, slimy machine,
and then you
What does this button do?
- Please, please.
- Do not push the button.
You have no idea of what it
Clip category.
Survey says Dexter is stupid.
What do you say to that, comrade?
Well, he can just go ahd have his own opinion, and it won't
bother me at all.
Hey, look at me!
Self-restraint category.
Council gives Council gives Oh!
Ok, ginsburg, looks good.
Thank you, space ghost.
"Thank you, space ghost."
Our last and final contestant is Craig mccracken.
Citizen Craig mccracken, come on down.
- Thanks.
- It's good to be here.
What do you do?
- I make cartoons.
- I makethe powerpuff girls
About these 3 little kindergarten-age superheroes who fly around
and beat up bad guys.
Let's see the clip.
That's great.
Um, why aren't you, like, a big sheet just with, like,
eyes cut in it, going, like, "woo-oo" and scary?
- I mean, why is that?
- I mean,that's, like, a ghost.
Uh, Craig you know, I don't
understand this whole yellow cape,
black hood thing.
It's kind of strange to me.
- -
- Mccracken.
Not really spooky.
I'm not a scary ghost, Jim. I'm a space ghost!
Oh, is that it?
Yes. I'm the savior of the universe,
a mature crime fighter of all evil.
I don't think crime fighting takes any specific age.
Quit thinking.
Ok, I mean, even babies could save the day if they had to.
Aren't you late for something?
Mm-mm. No.
Oh, I get it.
And it's not funny, is it?
No, space ghost.
Get a haircut, mccracken.
All rightie!
Now it's time to tabulate the scores and determine tonight's
winning director.
And the winner is
- -
- Don't move, not a muscle.
The winning cartoon is coming up right after these messages.
- -
- Ah, there's more.
We now return to the conclusion of the cartoon network's
world premiere toon in.
Let me do that again.
It's a tieI think.
Isn't it?
Yeah, it's a tie.
Here he comes it's a tie
it's a beautiful burnt-sienna tie
for me I want green to match my spleen
oh, what a beautiful tie
look at blip he is small oh, what a monkey he is.
What?! Quit speaking monkey.
He said since it's a tie
yes, I believe it's a tie you must have a tiebreaker.
Nope. Since it's a tie, we'll have a swimsuit competition.
Lose the primate.
The tiebreaker category is the swimsuit competition.
Citizen pat ventura, go!
No, space ghost.
Van partible, swimsuit. Go!
Do I look at anybody?
- Disqualified.
- Geno mattes, swimsuit. Go!
- Are you serious?
- Disqualified.
Comrade ginger snap, swimsuit. Go!
- No, space ghost.
- Disqualified!
Last contestant Craig mccracken, swimsuit. Go!
And the winner of the first annual
toon in is Craig mccracken.
Thank you, space ghost.
Oh, I love them.
Thank you, space ghost Good night, everybody.
You're beautiful.
Here's the winning cartoon that won
the winning oh, roll the cartoon.
Thank you, space ghost.
Thank you.
Townsville mall the quaint and
happy consumer palace is holding
their annual jam contest.
Let's join them, shall we?
Hello, everyone.
Hello, mayor.
Welcome to our annual jam contest.
It gives me great pleasure to introduce this year's judges
the powerpuff girls!
Say hello to blossom Hi.
Bubbles And buttercup Kill!
The powerpuff girls!
And, so, the powerpuff girls begin to judge.
As the crowd nervously awaits their decision,
everyone is freaking out,
except for this guy fuzzy lumpkins.
Say, fuzzy, what's your secret?
Oh, well, I'm going to win because my jam is special.
How's that?
It's made of meat.
I made meat jam.
Yup. I can hear it now, "the winner is letter c."
The winner is
Letter a!
- -
- Oh, tough luck, fuzzy.
I'm not a loser.
- I'm not a loser.
- I'm not a loser.
I'm not a loser.
That went pretty good, huh?
Yeah, all except for the meat jam.
It tasted like dog food.
Oh, I know.
It's those powerpuff girls who are losers.
They laughed at myMeat jam,
but it is I who will laugh last,
for I have created the meat gun,
a gun so powerful, it can turn
anything and everything into meat!
And with it, I will eat townsville.
Coming. Coming.
Yes. Yes.
Yes, blossom's here.
Blossom, telephone.
Here she comes.
Blossom, this is the mayor.
You've got to get downtown.
Something terrible is happening.
There's an evil villain down here,
turning everything into What?
- Oh, my gosh.
- It's just awful.
Just awful.
What's awful?
What's everything being turned into?
Not meat!
Let's roll.
Ah, ah, ah.
Now, you girls know better than that.
What do you say?
Teacher, may we please be excused to save the world?
Yes, you may.
But not through the oh, roof.
Teacher, I have to save the world, too.
- -
- Hurry, girls. Hurry!
You've got to get downtown.
It's a mess.
- Look!
- The powerpuff girls.
- -
- They've rebuilt townsville.
Now, can you tell us who did this?
Was it The bologna brothers?
All-beef Patty?
The salami swami?
- Then who?
- Who could it be?
Boy, they sure are in a jam.
That's it!
Come on!
Bubbles, what are you doing?
- -
- No time. Let's go.
Go, girls, go!
Go and put a stop to this evil meat bandit menace, who is about
to set his gun upon Townsville mall.
SoMall, we meagain.
Not so fast, fuzzy lumpkins!
The powerpuff girls?
Whoa. Watch it.
Whew. Close.
Ha! Gotcha.
Oh, no.
It can't be.
No, this is terrible.
People, if you only knew how much
pride bubbles takes in her hair,
all the washing and conditioning and the brushing and brushing
and brushing and brushing.
It's, uh, very becoming?
Well, girls, you've done it again.
This charity barbecue idea was grand.
Thanks, mayor.
One question, though.
Why does my burger have deely Bobs on it?
- -
- Aw, they'll never tell.
Oh, ho ho!
Well, so, once again, the day is saved
Thanks To the powerpuff girls.
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