Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s03e03 Episode Script


My girlfriend and I Broke up last weekend.
Good! What's her number?
Miss nesbitt My one true love.
While I was saving civilization and talking to gilligan,
miss nesbitt was busy finding herself another superhero.
I saw him.
The new guy.
You did not!
Quite handsome.
Not like you.
He's a lawyer and a doctor.
But he's sensitive and a good kisser.
Oh, Space Ghost, I forgot to tell you something.
You did? What?
Miss nesbitt called.
Miss nesbitt called? When?
Why didn't you get me?
You were in the bathroom.
Ahh. My beautiful miss nesbitt called For me.
Yeah To say you're still broken up.
D'oh! Oh!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Like you guys are such prizes?
Well I am fairly evil, but I've been happily married
to my beautiful wife Linda for over 6 years now.
What'd I say?!
Space Ghost.
He was gettin'
on my nerves.
That was the first time you've blown him up.
I'm not doing the show tonight.
MmmCarrot top is on.
No! Carrot top?
I can't handle carrot top tonight!
Greetings. I'm Space Ghost.
On tonight's program
We have comedian carrot top and comedian carrot top.
Now play me to the desk, zorak, I guess.
Please welcome Carrot top.
It's the hair bear bunch.
Here comes Ted Turner.
Da da da da da da, Jane, his wife
la la la la
I'm having too much fun, Space Ghost!
Please stop yelling.
Can you do that, Space Ghost?
Come on! Try it!
Come on, you big superpowered man.
Ha ha ha!
Let's just get this over with.
No one's watching.
What time does this thing come on?
Yeah. Is there a certain-- nighttime.
Does space have the same time zones?
Ok. Cool.
I love your show.
It was so funny.
I love this show!
You are the king.
You're the king of late night.
That's nice.
I like--I like you, Space Ghost.
Oh. Loser.
Ouch! Space Ghost, be nice to me.
Of course, of course, of course, of course.
Greetings, carrot top.
Ok. Greetings, carrot top.
Welcome to The show.
Hey, you're right on.
Good to be here.
UhSo Why do they call me carrot top?
'Cause all the good ones were taken.
Like loser.
I wanted to be hootie.
Hootie! Say it.
It's fun. Hootie.
Isn't that fun?
Ladies and gentlemen, hootie.
I can't do this.
Everyone should be hootie.
I wish I was hootie.
Maybe I will be hootie.
Maybe I'll change my name to hootie.
Hey, look! There's miss nesbitt.
Where's miss nesbitt?
Where's miss nesbitt?
Oh. I meant there's Christy.
Did I say miss nesbitt?
Ha ha! Sorry.
There's Christy.
Anything else, carrot?
What am I working on these days?
Ok. What are you working on these days?
Oh, a tv show.
I have my own show.
How exciting.
You ever take a whole big bottle of mouthwash and just guzzle it
all the way down?
Ha ha ha!
Just forget it.
What's the use?
Where has this interview gone?
The toilet, as usual.
Sweet. Beautiful.
Let's start over.
That's what I told her.
I said, "give me another chance.
I can do it!
I just need one more chance."
UmDid we miss a question?
You tell me, sparky.
No, then.
What, have you been drinking, Space Ghost?
Yes, carrot, I have been drinking.
I drink from the well of eternal sadness.
The eternal, bottomless pit of blackest despondency.
Let's move on.
Oh, carrot, I don't know if I'll ever be able to move on.
It might take a week.
It might take a year.
It might take longer.
She told me she needs space.
I said, "that's me!
I'm space.
Space Ghost!"
It's very dark and very cold.
It's so very cold in space.
They filmed star trek there. Um I used to live there.
Cold Cooollld It's very dark.
It's very cold.
It's very dark and very cold.
I have a cavity.
I have a cavity right there.
I have a cavity.
I have a cavity right there.
That's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to start wearing tights.
Tights. Uh-huh.
Picture me in tights, just for a second.
Ok. Time to go.
Uh, thank you for having me on.
Hey, you're right on.
Good to be here.
I'm welcome.
Whong! How do you do that?
Aiyee doh!
Ohh yongg!
Try this.
Hold on.
Wait a minute.
Wait! Wait! No!!
I like zorak.
Chill out.
Yeah. Chill out.
Go play with Moltar.
Yes! Yes!
Hey. Hey!
What gives?
I'm trying to watch chips.
Get out of here, you freak!
Hi. How are you today?
Are you comfortable?
Mommy, there's some frightening man on tv!
This is one of those scenes where
they cut to him, and he's going
And they cut to me, and I'm going
And they cut to him, and he's going
They cut to me, I'm going Look, will you shut up?
I was trying to watch chips.
I love chips.
My favorite episode of chips is when they're chasing them
down that freeway, and they have that big car pileup where
the car went whoosh!
Off the side of that truck.
Yeah, I saw that one.
I like the one where-- and they always had--yeah.
They had the episode where they had a fight with the captain.
Oh, and leif Garrett was in the limo sleeping,
and then his car crashed,
but he was ok.
And then everyone got free tickets to his concert.
And then he's all, "look out! " Poosh!
And all the cars are flying over like this.
Remember that?
Uh, no.
The best episode was when they were on
the island, and they almost got off,
but gilligan messed the whole thing up.
I look like reba mcentire.
I just realized.
Maybe that's what I'll call my book: Reba.
That way we'll sell a lot of copies of it.
'Cause people love reba.
So I said, "how much time do you want?"
And she said, "oh, so now you have time for me?"
So it's like, I mean, how am I supposed
to answer a question like that?
Look, I mean, it is my fault, and it isn't, you know?
Sure, I had my chance to say certain things--
tell her how pretty
her hair smelled, pinch her cheek, things like that.
Take her to the mall.
But, you know, work and all.
There's a lot of crime out there, and I'm just one guy.
The mall will always be there!
And she knows that.
Ohh, well. What are you going to do?
Hey, Space Ghost!
She's too young for me, anyway.
Space Ghost!
You're talking to a cow.
She can't talk.
Hey, listen, Buster!
I've just about had all I can take of you.
I don't need this.
I'm a cow!
I got things to do.
Hey, can't you hear me through that hood?
I guess not, since there's no ear holes!
Whoever heard of a 15-minute talk show, anyway?
Come on, man!
You lost the teens.
Those were the whole appeal of the show.
Jan and jace, they were it.
The monkey, he was it.
You, nothing!
You bring in this bug and this beekeeper.
A--a beekeeper!
And those crappy guests.
Come on!
Get some real celebrities.
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