Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s04e04 Episode Script


This is tansut welcoming you to the first ever
Space Ghost coast to coast 37th-show
anniversary- celebration-spectacularamathon.
Tonight, funnyman bobcat goldthwait
and funnywoman Judy tenuta.
And now, your friend and mine,
that ghost-host with the most,
Space Ghost!
Greetings, tv-watching citizens.
I am Space Ghost, and I'm tickled pink to be here.
Tickled stupid, you mean.
Before we begin, let me introduce you to the director of
tonight's festivities-- that fabulous hot rock himself--Moltar.
Hey, don't get up.
And over here, we have my band leader and indentured
mantis-servant, zorak, and the original way outs.
And we'd like to welcome you to
The first ever Space Ghost anniversary-
spectacularamathon Uh, show.
Whoop-Dee- doodle-doo.
You know, kids, tonight is a special notch
in the belt that is the Space Ghost saga.
Uh, Space Ghost, what anniversary is this, anyway?
Weren't you listening, zorak?
It's my 37th-show anniversary.
I never heard of anybody celebrating
their 37th anniversary before.
It's dopey.
It's not dopey.
It's our 37th show.
That's an anniversary, right?
Darn tootin', it is.
So hap-hap- happy anniversary, and shut up, zorak,
because you're not going to rain on my charade.
Well, I don't know what I'm doing here either.
They called me 20 minutes ago,
shoved these notes in my hand.
What do they expect?
Bunch of morons.
Uh, tansut.
Let them fire me.
I don't care.
Your Mike's on, man.
Oh, fluff.
Nobody showed me how to do this.
Ok, let's get on with it, shall we?
Say, I wonder who that could be.
It's your first anniversary guest,
Space Ghost, funny lady Judy tenuta.
I'm ready, honey.
Judy, welcome back to the show.
Oh, Space Ghost I'm so excited.
Me, too.
Me, too.
So, Judy, gal, what have you
been doing since I last saw you?
Oh, Space Ghost, as you know,
I rule the Western hemisphere.
That's nice.
Must keep you busy.
I rule, I rule, I rule uh, Judy.
Stuff a sock in it, tenuta.
Judy, I've asked you to come back and
celebrate my anniversary with me.
Now, celebrate.
Ah don't sing, Judy.
Happy anniversary, happy anniversary
happy anniversary, Space Ghost
look at this.
Must I?
I can make myself invisible.
You cannot see me now.
Uh, yes, I can.
No, you cannot-- yes, I can!
No. His rays cannot harm me.
Hair dance, hair dance don't be a square.
Hair dance
hmm, ok, I think it's time for
Judy jetson here to blast off.
Oh, you pig.
Aah! Moltar!
I know. I know.
Uh, excuse me.
Are we going to commercial now?
Oh, sorry.
Don't mind me.
Aha. Our next guest.
Hey, I smell evil.
Space Ghost, it's your evil twin brother.
Aah! Can't talk, Chad.
I have a hernia.
Hey, hey, relax, baby.
Like, I'm not here to spread terror.
I just wanted to swing by and
check out the old ghost pad.
You know, I had a real blast the
last time I saw you, taddles.
A real blast.
Yeah, I bet you did.
You and that creepy elvira woman pawing each other.
Oh, forget that chick, taddy bear.
I already did.
I'm looking for some new action,
you dig, some new kicks.
Know what I mean, butter bean?
Not a whiff, Chad.
Then let me clue you, tadville.
I want to host the show again.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
Ok, tad, be that way.
Now I'm glad I left that surprise
for you in your futon this morning.
Oh, that was you, huh?
I'll be in touch.
Later, cats and kittens.
Bye, Chad.
I like your brother.
You do not.
Look at my cheekbones.
Aah! Moltar, break.
Ah, 10 pounds of sausage in a 5-pound sack.
Oh, uh, coming up next, more stuff.
Welcome back ooh. Hey, I nailed that one.
What now--birdman?
Relax, man. It's bobcat.
He's cool.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's special
anniversary guest bobcat goldthwait.
I tell you, it's really been great
here to be back here, Space Ghost.
It's great to have you.
So, it's my 37th-show anniversary, bobcat.
You should slap yourself on the back.
He should slap himself in the face.
So, bobarella, did you bring me
anything special for my anniversary?
Oh, I brought you many things.
I'm lying, man.
What can I get you?
You don't even wear slacks or
trousers or pants, you know.
Oh, that's ok, just as long as you don't
sing me a stupid song or anything.
Look out. I think he's going to sing.
He's not going to sing, Moltar.
You're not going to sing, are you, bobcat?
Yes, I am.
Oh, brother.
Sing, you fool.
Sing like a maniac.
Space Ghost, ghost, ghost,
Space Ghost, ghost, ghost!
Space Ghost, ghost, ghost, get some pants!
Did you buy the sincerity of that?
Yeah, it really worked for me.
It had a good beat, and I could beat you to it.
I give it a 75.
I'm telling you, I'm going to get up,
and I'm going to dope-slap that bug.
Fight! Fight!
Be my guest, bobcat.
Dope-slap away.
Zorak, I'm going to dope-slap you.
Ooh, I'm so frightened.
How did you get a show with a cricket?
I'm a loc-- mantis.
Apparently, somewhere in show business,
you should of went "paper"
instead of "scissors."
Yeah, look who's talking, the talk-show arsonist.
I'm serious.
I will clean that bug's clock so fast.
You just tell him that I personally
put 2 of the bugaloos in the hospital.
I think he heard you.
Um, look, Bobby cat, I apologize about the bug.
Uh-huh. All right.
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi. Yeah.
I try to make him behave, but-- am I done?
Is that enough community service?
Oh, any last anniversary words of
wisdom for the little people at home?
Yeah! You got to make your own fun, Space Ghost.
You got to make your own fun.
I tried to make my own fun.
Look what it got me.
Happy anniversary to me.
Moltar, are we done?
Um, we still got that cheap clip-thing.
That's right. This should be great, folks.
It's a sparkling career
retrospective to me, Space Ghost.
Roll 'em.
That was no sparkling tribute.
That was terrible.
That was--yuck!
What in the name of Vic tayback was that?
A montage.
Montage. French, huh?
Well, that explains that, no, Moltar?
Those French, they ruin everything.
I mean, you give them an entire Disneyland,
and they can't even make a dime off it.
Even purple-butted baboons
couldn't screw up a Disneyland.
Hmm, I tell you, one day I ought
to do something about them French.
I dare you.
I double-dare you.
Ok, I will.
See if I don't.
Ruin my anniversary, will you?
Look out!
It is the Space Ghost.
Take that, you cheese eaters.
Well, that is that.
Au reservoir, mon sewers.
Bone soir.
Ah, you've been watching the Space Ghost
celebrating 37 or so episodes
of talk show whatchamacallit.
From all of us here to all of you, bonne nuit.
What you say?
Previous EpisodeNext Episode