Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s04e13 Episode Script


Mmm, these watercress sandwiches are splendid.
Do you like them?
I made them with extra water.
So that's the secret.
I've composed some light verse
to accompany our reverie.
Shall I recite it?
That would be divine.
A bug on a rug drank from a mug.
I felt a tug
Give me a hug.
I adore the rhyme scheme.
Let us engage in a spirited philosophical debate.
Is morality an absolute or
relative societal construct?
It's absolute. You're either good or evil.
There are no absolutes.
The cold hand of science has shown us that.
My friend, it appears we disagree.
Then let us agree to disagree.
Heh heh heh heh Well-stated.
A toast to civility and restraint.
More tea, my lady?
Why, yes. How lovely.
Moltar, where are the cakes,
the dainty cakes?
Dainty cakes?
Where are they?
I bought them. I had them in the car, I swear.
Sh-she handed them right to me. I
I had the dainty cakes in the car!
What? Ooh! Oh
What a nightmare!
Greetings! I'm Space Ghost.
Here's the deal.
I've got a behind.
It's super heroic, and I'm about to shake it.
I'd rather you didn't.
Why are we even doing this?
Evil villains, stand down from the funk.
Tonight I'm going to tear it up and break it down
with my favorite extended dance mixes.
That still doesn't answer the question.
Come on, Moltar. All the kids are dancing.
It's electrifying!
Now put the needle on the record.
It's time for my Soooooooooolo soooooooooolo
dance party.
Y'all ready for this?
Come on, come on.
Come on, zorak.
This is out of sight, man.
You dance like a woman.
You dance like a woman.
I dance like a woman if she were a man.
Well, he got me there.
Well, he got me there.
I command all viewers to welcome my first guests,
Mr. ice-t and Mr. Ernie-c.
Together, they're my first guest.
Greetings. Hello. How are you?
What's up, space?
Space is up, t. Way up and way out.
Observe my outer space jig.
How do you like this action, ice-t?
It's all good, space, baby.
Yeah. They never let me do this in the action show.
I have vanquished you, lizard slavers.
And now, behold the pelvic
gyrations of my victory boogie.
No, please!
Not the victory boogie!
The cosmic gyrations will destroy the ship!
No! Please! No! No, stop!
pret-tay No! Get out of his way!
Oh, iced tea, you are a sweet
and refreshing beverage.
I am very sweet and refreshing.
I'm not talking about you.
I'm speaking in general.
That's right.
Very cool, very cool.
What's up, zorak?
My man.
You will hook zorak up with some fly honeys.
You will hook zorak up with some fly honeys.
T? Ice-t?
Wake up!
That was cool, zorak. That was cool.
Hit me again. That was that was cool.
Just remember what I said.
Want me to blast the little pit spawn?
That's how you do, Space Ghost?
You just go around killing your friends,
blasting them. Space Ghost is coming out.
Just don't blast us.
Why not? It's electrifying.
Do Ernie.
Oh, ok.
Whoa whoa whoa!
I'm only playing. What,
are you you're mad at me now.
No, not I don't even like the word "destructo."
Freestyle for me, ice ice baby.
That was cool.
That was interesting.
Just a little mental note
Reminding you about those fly honeys.
Zorak was messing with my brain again. What do you
hey, ice-t! Check it, buddy!
Come on, ghost. Come on, man.
You got to do better than that.
Don't take that tone of voice with me, young man!
Yes, sir. Yes.
Hey, Moltar! Kick it!
I hear something.
Ooh, this rocks!
Hold on. I can't dance to this.
Play it backwards!
No, don't!
Something scary could happen!
Yah! A ghost!
Moltar! What's going on?
Moltar, what's wrong?
Uh, I want to be out here with you.
He's frightened of ghosts.
Moltar fears nothing. Nothing!
He fears what he cannot understand.
He fears what he cannot understand.
That ghost isn't going to hurt you.
Bring him in here so I can smack him.
One time.
See? Mr. t. And his friend Ernie
aren't afraid of the ghost.
Yeah, Moltar.
It just wants to possess your soul!
It just wants to possess your soul!
Peace. What goes?
Get out of here!
You don't have to be crazy to work here
But it helps!
Stop it!
But I keep telling you I'm a ghost.
You're not afraid of me, are you?
Uh, no. I hate you.
Hate and fear are two different things.
Wooo Are you frightened?
Uh, no. I think I just told you I hate you.
Hey, what, are you guys slow dancing
in there? I want to go home.
Hey, what, are you guys slow dancing
in there? I want to go home.
Yes, as a matter of fact, we were.
And speaking of were,
please welcome funnyman Fred Willard.
My name is Fred Willard,
and in earth terms, I am an actor.
And, uh, I've been in some
movies and television series
let's talk about your days at real people.
Now there's a show.
Oh, yeah. Now, that was fun.
How did you determine if a
person was real or an android?
Yeah, did you rip their face
off to check their circuitry?
Yeah, did you rip their face
off to check their circuitry?
UhThis is getting a little technical for me.
Then let's change the subject to me.
You know, I'm a superhero.
That's right, and I
you are a hero, and I always wanted to play a hero,
and I thinki think I played a hero once.
I think I played Batman in a stage
revue in I won't have that man's name
mentioned on my show!
He still owes me for that dinner
I bought him at r.J. Mcgoodtimes.
I ought to tell everybody he's Bruce Wayne.
Oh, dear. Ok.
Tansut, you hear that?
Batman's Bruce Wayne!
You think you know a guy! Fred Willard
You will hook zorak up with some fly
Uh Never mind.
Fred, I got a notion to put my butt in motion.
Come on, Fred! Sing along!
I'm game! I'm up for it!
Moltar! What's happening now?
The ghost is back!
Stop scrunching me. This is my work area!
Hey! You got my soul!
Give me back my soul!
I'll bet zorak doesn't have a "ghost" of a chance.
Get it, Fred?
Sure, sure.
Now, we're not going to be beamed back to
earth without mentioning my movie, are we?
It's all about you, isn't it, Fred?
Well, it takes place in this small
midwestern town, and we're a
back already, zorak?
Did you get your soul back?
No, I didn't.
Did you get your brain back?
That's your worst line ever.
I think it comes out in January,
and I think you'll enjoy it.
Ha ha!
Now that's an anecdote!
Uh, which one?
He's baaack!
Away with you, spirit!
Hang on a minute, Fred.
That's fine, that's fine. I'm in no hurry.
There's only room for one ghost in this studio,
and it's not the ghost that's not me!
All right.
Holy shnikies! That ghost was carrying a note!
It says "I just wanted to shake it "One time.
Sincerely, a ghost."
If I'd known that, maybe I
wouldn't have been so scared.
I never got my fly honeys!
Fred Willard, this is all your fault!
I order you to give the ghost a touching eulogy.
AhAnd, um Yes,
he's done a lot of wonderfulStuff.
Am I saying the right thing?
Ah, who cares? Let's dance!
Moltar! Hit me with another one
of those block- rocking beats!
Hey! Ho!
Ho! Hey!
The only thing that scares me more than ghosts,
is coming to terms with my grief.
Oh, suck it up, fatty!
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