Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s04e12 Episode Script

Boo Boo Kitty

Say, what was that noise last night?
Oh that was my hive it exploded
I was microwaving this big freakin'--
My horse? No!
Better not be.
SoCan I sleep on your couch?
Sure you can! We'll be roomies!
I've got a case of bosco and some milk,
we'll make cheese dogs.
Hey, I just picked up the godfather trilogy.
Finally, company! All ri--
Ugh! What's that stench?
I'm marking my territory! Get used to it!
Hello, everybody, la de da!
This is tansut. Tonight-- Tansut, you're fired.
Oh, really?
I won't cry.
If you're wanting to see me cry,
you can save your breath,
because I'm not going to cry.
Oh, what will become of me?
You know what, mister.
I found my toothbrush marinating
in the toilet this morning.
Yeah, I rinsed it.
I'm not running a flophouse for degenerate bugs.
Never judge a bug by its shell.
What you see is what you get.
Act in haste, repent in leisure.
But he who hesitates is lost.
Help me, Obi-Wan. You're my only hope.
A little song, a little dance,
a little seltzer down your pants.
IsI don't know.
What did I say, now wait a minute?
Ka-ching! I am the quote master!
I'm the quote master!
I am! I am!
Eggs and ham! Waffle!
Stand by, mckean. Roommate quarrel.
Oh, ok.
Yeah, I had a roommate once.
Until I boiled him in his own juices.
It's a side of me nobody understands.
Bacon and grits! Cheese toast!
Fortified milk! Donkey Kong!
Nope, I win.
Wait a minute-- overruled.
I am the undisputed breakfast master!
Ok. So let's welcome Michael mckean,
because he's my first guest.
Thank you, Space Ghost.
This is a great honor.
Blather on about yourself.
Oh. My name is Michael mckean.
I'm an earth actor, uh,
specifically a United States earth actor,
and more specifically, I'm in the comedy ghetto.
Which is about where you're headed, banjo brown.
I don't even know what that means.
Do you, Michael?
No, it's just wonderful to be here.
I've-- that's nice.
Paint my toenails! Get me a milk and Pepsi!
Fetch my ointment!
Paint my toenails! Get me a milk and Pepsi!
See that?
Hey, what are you doing?
You'll have to excuse me.
I'm feeling waves of pure evil
coming from zarak. Is that me?
Hold on.
Is it zorak or zerak or zorak? Moltar?
Uhhh Yeah. Sure.
Thank you, Moltar.
Space Ghost, look!
I just wanted you to look at me.
Just ignore him. Zorak was
born for fun, loyal to none.
He doesn't look happy.
See what I mean?
Tell me about it.
Have you seen my boobookitty?
Yeah. I saw her when I let her out.
You let her out? When?
Um, yesterday.
Now fetch me a sandwich! I'm drying my skull.
Living with you is like
living in a living nightmare!
And do my other foot!
Where is she?
You'll never know.
Who knows where my boobookitty is?
Do you know, mckean?
I'd go right through the girls' locker room.
Did I let something slip?
Great. Thanks a lot, mckean.
Oh, boy. Me and my big mouth.
So, boobookitty's in the girls' locker room, huh?
Yeah. Go get it.
I'm coming, boobookitty!
Heh heh heh. Good one, mckean.
Thank you. Yeah.
We don't have girls up here!
Where's my boobookitty,
you villainous, headborne claphole?
She's gone!
Gone for good!
But why?
I gave her everything she ever needed
everything but love. She hated you!
And that's why I set her free.
Booboo! Boobookitty!
I didn't love you enough!
I must now lash out at everyone around me!
Feel my anger!
Listen, I just want to say that I
really like being here, out in outer
In the outer space areas of this place.
And, uh, it's like, it's like so,
it's so real, it's like bein' in a movie.
I feel like everything here is trick photography.
Hey, that sounds like, uh, like that guy.
That guy, from uh With the show,
where the guy talked like, it's
It's balki from tv's perfect strangers!
No, it's not! It's Angie Dickinson!
You know, pepper. Tv's police woman.
Boy, Angie, you've really let yourself go.
Wait a minute.
Angie Dickinson was a statuesque blonde.
Who are you?
Hello. I'm Freddy herbie.
You know me. "I thought they was prunes!"
They weren't prunes? What the heck were they?
And now I'm having a new thought.
One. One is the loneliest
number that you'll ever do.
what a good wife you would be ohh!
Hey! You're out of toilet paper!
Oh, zorak, that reminds me--
you're no longer my new roommate.
That's fine.
You're out of tang anyway.
Goodness. Tacos, huh?
Hey, Space Ghost, your beef logs are here.
Just stack them on the dock, Moltar,
Lincoln log style, like I showed you.
Let me get my lumbar harness.
I love beef logs. Don't you?
Oh, boy, do I!
I'll tell you, I really do.
Did you ever weigh yourself,
then eat a whole beef log,
then weigh yourself again?
Mmm, oh, please!
I'm hungry, and you're tellin' me beef log.
Oh, that's great.
Boobookitty and I used to do that.
Did you ever throw one on
the fire just to keep warm?
Did you ever make a baby with one? A beef log baby?
You ever take them and make a little
village full of beef log babies,
and then they all rise up against
you and try to kill your head?
Um, no.
That's when I have to lie down.
That reminds me of a joke.
Ok, go ahead, tell me one.
There's this guy, see. He's from Alabama,
and he gets busted for trying
to smuggle books into Kentucky!
That's good.
It has some I guess it loses something in the--
the translation, you know.
Did I mention that the guy from
Alabama was my mother-in-law?
Hey! Good night, everybody!
You might want to, the next time you tell a joke,
you might want to say, "and now the joke is over,"
and then the person can laugh,
'cause I think that helps so much.
I know a guy who had two noses.
How does he smell?
Yeah, that's right. He smells awful!
And now the joke's over.
I like those glasses you have.
Yeah? Yeah.
There's really nothing that I don't like about you.
Freddy, will you be my new roommate?
That's the main reason I'm on this show.
Really? Oh, boy!
You want to put on some
pressure suits and go outside
and see my interplanetary
monument to the safety pin?
I just erected it.
Hey, Space Ghost, look out the window.
Well, boobookitty.
Come crawling back to daddy, huh?
Isn't she drifting precariously
close to your big pin?
Nooooooooooooo Ooooooooooooo.
.. NoooooooooooOooooooooooo
I warned christo! I told him
we needed a rubber safety tip!
What? You guys saw me.
There's nothing I could have done.
You could have gone out there and saved her.
Yeah, I mean, it would have only taken a second
to move her out of the way.
Yeah, not like she was heavy or anything.
I think you wanted her to die.
Well, I guess we'll never know,
'cause now I have a new pet!
Billy the porpoise.
See you back at the ranch, roomie.
It's pizza night!
Yeah, where do you guys go to eat?
Rock 'n bowl, pizza in a cup.
It's good.
Merry Christmas, everybody!
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