Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s04e20 Episode Script


So it's easy to see why superheroes are
at a crossroads-- driven to succeed,
yet encumbered by images of the
traditional superhero icon,
increasingly at odds with
today's societal structure.
Tell me about it.
Following are my 7 superhero salvos for success.
Repeat these at will.
All right.
I am in charge.
I am in charge.
Mine is an energy that I choose to share.
Mine is an energy that I choose to share.
Remember, no one can make you feel
inferior without your consent.
Oh, what's that?
Number 4 Come on, sweetheart.
Come on.
When the dawn will come.
Come on, baby.
Don't do this to me today.
I can't handle it.
Love the moment.
Shut up, you stupid tape!
Greetings, citizens.
I'm Space Ghost.
Joining me tonight is academy
award-winning actor charlton heston.
I'm copping an attitude.
Tonight I'm copping an attitude.
Fine. Go ahead.
I'm copping one, too.
Oh, really?
You bet.
I am copping an attitude.
I've had enough, and I'm not taking any more.
That's right.
We're laying it down.
Ain't noway, nohow are you gonna tell me different.
We're setting a tone, baby.
That's right.
That is the way it's gonna be, friend.
And if you don't like it
You know what you can do.
Ha ha ha!
I heard that.
I'm going to go to the desk, ok?
Go on, try.
See what you get!
Here I am now, at the desk.
You got lucky, pal.
You try it next time.
You see what you get!
Villains, listen to me.
Try as you may, you will not knock my
moon out of orbit and upset my tides
of well-beingness.
What are you talking about?
Space Ghost of the cosmos is
now perfect, serene Stupid!
And centered.
Let's all synchronize our hearts.
Moltar, I am ready to receive my guest.
All right.
Greetings, citizen.
Greetings, Space Ghost.
Go on, tell everyone who you are.
Come on.
I am charlton heston.
Yes! Our first academy award winner.
You think the academy would
honor me for my talk show work?
Um Let me be honest with you.
I don't think so.
I want one of those trophies, Carlton.
Ok. You do?
I want your trophy.
Give it!
Ok. Ok.
Whoo! All right!
Look at me!
Oscar winner Space Ghost!
The vain man glorifies himself,
while the self-actualized
individual glorifies others.
Oh, ok.
Chuck, you, too, are pretty good.
I can call you Chuck, can't I?
You bet. You bet.
How about chuckles?
If you insist.
Wait, wait, wait.
How about Cheston?
See? It's a cross between your first name,
which is charlton, and your
second name-- umNo.
I don't think so.
Never say "no.
I don't think so."
Try saying "yes. I think so."
Oh, I see.
The word "impossible"
is a mistake, Chuck.
It's really "I'm possible."
You're all by yourself?
I've got my enemies here,
but You know, no friends.
That's right.
I ain't his friend.
If you were to ask me if I was his friend,
I would say "no" to you.
I heard that!
Doesn't it get lonely?
I go to parties.
You go to parties?
In my head.
Yeah. I sense there's a hidden identity there.
There's a party all the time there.
Sometimes the neighbors up there complain,
so I try to turn down
the music Only I can't,
because there are no knobs there.
No, no, I understand.
That's--that's fine.
Let's--let's let it pass.
What's wrong?
What's that?
We're out of punch?
I'll be right back.
Who you talking to?
I'm back.
Who you talking to?
I want some punch.
For the parties In my head.
Get on with the show!
Are you getting enough oxygen, Chuck?
I breathe very well in many atmospheres.
Including the planet of the apes?
They say there's nothing
more fragrant than a hot ape.
The odd thing about that movie was
all the gorillas sat at lunch--
this is no kidding.
This is honest truth.
Oh, really?
All the gorillas sat at one table at lunch
And all the chimpanzees sat at
another and all the orangutans
Hey, cut it out!
Sat at another.
And the humans
Stop it!
I'm afraid my sidekicks are
copping an attitude, Chuck.
Oh, I see.
Been doing this all day in here.
Yeah. That's clear.
That's clear.
Breathe with me, charlton.
Weather the storm.
Away with confusion.
Remember, vengeance is the refuge of the weak.
He's right, Space Ghost.
Let me just give him one.
No. Rise above the fray.
You're not trying.
Can't I just-- no.
Oh! Oh
Don't do-- don't Little green freak!
Hey, what--no!
Remember, vengeance is the refuge of the weak.
I know.
All existence is chaos, Chuck.
The self-empowered man realizes
this and rises like an eagle
above the tangled, teeming masses Wow.
Talons out, ready to swoop.
You're very perceptive, Space Ghost.
I wouldn't have Thought that
I had a new age spirituality?
Well, surprise, Chuck.
I'm a nineties guy.
Did you have any, uh Talent?
How can I put it?
Formal education?
Define formal.
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh, that's mature.
Ha ha! Slow him down.
Make him sound creepy.
Man, look at those teeth.
Hey, wait a minute.
Is that Spinach.
You don't floss, do you, Chuck?
You caught me.
Not regularly.
You caught me.
Not regularly.
I can spot an unflossed mouth from two Miles away.
That's one of my powers.
I suppose--yeah, ok.
I don't talk about that power much.
No, I don't floss as regularly as I should.
Not really one of the good powers,
but still a power, all the same.
You seem perfectly fluent in English.
Can you read?
I like books on tape.
No, no, no.
We can do better than that.
What about Shakespeare?
What about books on tape?
Nope, nope. Shakespeare.
That's the best of them all.
Do you know Shakespeare?
Not personally.
No You know the writings of Shakespeare?
We didn't have the theater when I grew up, Chuck.
We had hard work, long days
Mending the nets, scaling the fish.
No part of the fish was wasted, Chuck.
We used the entire fish.
You sure? Really?
No kidding?
Ha ha ha ha!
Of course I'm kidding.
Ha ha ha!
Fishing in space.
Tell me, Chuck, ever thought
of starring in a sequel to
the ten commandments?
Uh, I don't think so.
Not a sequel man, eh?
What other commandments are we going to write?
Thou that smelt it thine own self dealt it.
Thou that smelt it thine own self dealt it?
Ha ha! Jerk.
Yeah, well Thou shalt not Hesitate.
I'm kind of committed to the first ten.
Thou shalt not be committed to old commandments.
Zorak, one more commandment out of you,
and thou shalt be blasted.
Thou shalt not mess with zorak,
or thou shalt have to mess with me!
All right, everybody, just calm down.
Thou shalt not calm down!
I hesitate-- thou shalt not hesitate!
Ohhhhh, boy.
Uh-oh. Now you've done it.
We're now going to initiate the silent treatment.
I ain't sayin' Jack.
Fine. Good.
As of right now, my friend, silence.
You guys aren't really going to do this.
Come on, guys.
Hey, come on!
Chuck, you're not doing this too, are you?
Oh, man.
Anybody want ice cream?
Zorak, ice cream?
My treat.
Butter pecan?
Want some gum?
What are you doing?
Silent treatment.
You don't have time for this.
You must destroy the hoover dam.
It is your destiny.
What if I get caught?
You're Space Ghost, superhero to millions.
Who would suspect you?
Yeah, I am Space Ghost.
It's my destiny.
You better hurry up.
Let me just say good-bye to charlton, ok?
Uh-uh. Someone's going to beat you to it.
All right, all right.
Good night, everybody.
I got to split.
Hey you hey get over here alright we
are gonna put your Take your hands
away from your sides.
It was my destiny!
Please take your hands away from your sides.
This is my inviso belt.
Yeah, right, buddy.
You're all blind.
Don't struggle with me.
You understand?
Blinded by government and the mass media.
Do not struggle with me, sir.
You're so blind.
Spread your legs and put your
hands on the side of the vehicle,
Previous EpisodeNext Episode