Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s04e21 Episode Script


Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
greetings! I am Space Ghost.
Greetings! I am Space Ghost.
My first guest tonight is the incredible,
the incomparable Steve Allen!
Oh my, I can't believe my ears
I have waited for this moment for years
how can this be?
Steve Allen's gonna talk to me
Steve Allen Steve Allen?
Yes, zorak, Steve Allen!
Why, he's the greatest talk show host
from Atlantic to pacific coast
I really do not mean to boast
that we've got Steve Allen
hey, I got Steve Allen
I twisted arms, I threatened harm
in galaxies, I caused alarm
made many agents buy the farm
just to get you Steve Allen
he's got you, s.G. , give him credit
he doesn't just direct and edit
Moltar needs to have some credit
ok, Moltar, zorak's right
I do not want to start a fight
but if you cross me, I just might
oh, Steve Allen Steve Allen?
Steve Allen?
I can't believe we got Steve Allen!
Steve Allen!
Wow, Moltar. How'd you score Steve Allen, anyway?
I threatened to give his
manager a third-degree burn.
Zorak, play me to the desk
Oh, I am but a mantis
so evil and so mean forced into this position
is it because I'm green?
oh, I did not imprison you
for the color of your skin
you see, zorak, I'm color-blind
What's outside doesn't count.
True evil's from within oh,
I can see so clearly now
you've taught me quite a lesson
oh, thank you, thank you, Space Ghost
You truly are a blessin'.
Aw, zorak, that's sweet.
Uh, I'm going to vomit!
Thank you! Thank you!
Thanks so much.
Thank you.
I was just talking to some
of my friends on the street.
Do that noise with your armpits.
Is that the noise you mean?
Moltar, what's the holdup?
What are you doing?
"Moltar, what are you doing? "
it's a question I've heard all my life
my parents don't understand me
and neither does my wife Moltar!
She's a sweet and simple girl, my Linda
A lovely lass, you see--
Send out the guest.
All right, all right.
Ladies and gentlemen, you've seen him,
you know him, you love him,
you go through a phase where
you don't love him so much
you go through a phase where
you don't love him so much
yet you don't want to hurt him,
so you don't dare tell him of your feelings,
say hello to Steve Allen!
Thank you.
The pleasure's mine, steverino.
Have you met my archenemy zorak?
Hi, Steve. Mind if I snack on your head?
Whoa! Hey, Steve, you hear that?
Ha ha ha ha!
Well, it makes me laugh, as you just saw.
I found it amusing that someone
would want to snack on my head.
There's an old song-- snack on my head--
no, no, I'm sorry.
That's time on my hands.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's right, Steve.
Show him, zorak!
There are heads just ripe for some snackin'
and I mean to snack on a few
Come on, Steve!
It's time to get crackin'
I got a lot of snackin' to do
oh! There are villains
just ripe for some whackin'
and I mean to whack me a few
Come on, zorak!
It's bound to happen
I got a lot of whackin' to do
there are fires just ripe for some settin'
and I aim to set a few fires
when those fires get set, they'll be burnin'
Shut up, Moltar!
We hate you!
You're dumb!
But I was just No! You're stupid,
so just shut up, stupid!
So, what do you think of my show, Steve?
Well, it's the first of its kind,
and so you're just as good as I am.
I did the first of my kind.
You've done the first of your kind.
Then let the record so reflect
'twas I that got there first
All right, then let the record so reflect.
Even though I never get the credit I deserve
you raise a very sore point.
you forgot the words, you jerk
How do you like that for a snappy comeback?
Come and get it!
Come and get it!
You're really, really, really gonna get it
you'll regret it when you get it
because it isn't something that you want
What are you talking about?
Shut up, zorak!
I'm sick of your beak
I'm gonna blast you into next week
Sitting in the control room,
waiting for the break
waiting for the break
waiting for the break to come Space Ghost:
Shut up!
Sitting in the control room,
waiting for the break
waiting for the break
waiting for the break to end
we're setting up the next bit, so shut up, stupid!
Thank you.
Now it's time for Steve Allen to
do a little bit of his "man on
the street" shtick.
Yes. Of course, I need a street,
and I need at least one man.
Do you have a sample man for me?
Only the samplest. Brak?
Hello, Brak?
Can you hear me?
On the street on the street I think
there's something stuck on my feet!
Life is great I feel grand I
could eat a whole pound of ham!
On the street on the street
where I am I'm on the street!
On the street!
Ha ha ha ha!
Well, I guess that constitutes a yes. Brak?
Oh, boy! Ha ha!
Oh, boy, I get it!
You got it. Good.
Well, don't tell your mother.
Oh, I won't.
Wow! Do you know Brak's language?
Are you surprised to learn
that I actually speak brakese?
Hit me again, steverino.
Oh, that's what she said! Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha! I'm hip, but this was just
supposed to be between you and me.
You're funny, Steve Allen.
Ok, Brak, and spacey and ghosty and all
the dwarves who are out there today
around the old campfire.
Thank you, Steve Allen
Whoa! Did you hear that?
Yeah, I heard it really loud.
I hit the wrong switch.
Oh, man!
I'm going to do it again.
Ha ha ha!
Moltar, what's going on in there?
Oh, uh, Andy dick, coming right up!
Andy dick?
Is that right, Moltar?
Yup, that's right.
We got Andy dick.
Oh, my!
I can't believe my ears
I have waited for this moment for years
how can this be?
Andy dick's gonna talk to me
Andy dick!
Andy dick?
Why did we get Andy dick?
Because Linda loves Andy dick
a lovely lass, you see--
Shut up!
Shut up, stupid!
We hate you!
Oh, Space Ghost, hello.
So, Andy, did you like our little Andy dick song?
That is sweet, that is sweet.
It's a reprise of the song I can't believe we got
Steve Allen.
Oh, so it's not, uh It's not that special, then.
No, no, no, it's very special.
You wrote it for Steve Allen,
and then you just inserted my--
it's fine, though, it's fine.
Anyway whoo-hoo! Looks like a feuding's on the way!
Down in the holler,
amongst the filth and squalor
That number's been cut!
Look, red, I don't really have a
lot of time to be confrontational
about this, so-- you're right.
I don't want to, either, actually,
because I don't have super powers.
That's right, Andy.
You wouldn't stand a chance against
my destructo-ray or my heat ray
or my freeze ray-- I know what you have.
I know, I know.
Andy Ah, that's better.
I have an inviso-belt that I can
I can turn invisible.
Oh, I'm not wearing it.
Well, maybe it's at home in the magic closet.
Ok, yeah, yeah, you're right,
I don't I don't have one.
All right, now tell everyone at home.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Do it!
I don't have an inviso-belt.
Andy, sing your song.
Oh, I have to sing it?
Will you sing it with me?
Space Ghost, Space Ghost
put down that stick please don't beat up
Andy dick Andy, Andy
you're getting me ticked think I'll pummel
Andy dick
Space Ghost, Space Ghost
clickety-click Space Ghost,
don't be a space--
Andy, Andy clickety-click Andy, don't be a--
Don't be a space-- hey,
everybody! It's time for the big finale!
That's all the time we have today
we finally get a chance
to sing while Moltar rolls the credits
Andy dick will dance good-bye!
Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye
good-bye, good-bye, good-bye,
good-bye, good-bye!
Good night, everybody!
Now dance!
A-5, 6, 7, 8.
How much do you want?
I could go on all day.
Do it all day.
I can do anything. I can shuffle off to buffalo.
Hey, why don't you shuffle off to Mars?
I can't shuffle off too far, though.
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