Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s05e05 Episode Script


Storm's a-comin'.
HmmTime to go to the commissary.
Got to eat me some jell-o.
I like green.
I got a monkey.
Are you doing that?
UmNo. Hey, that hurts!
It burns!
OhSomeone frying bacon?
Who said that?
Aaaah! Aaah!
Whose doughnuts are these?
It seems that the static electricity from the oncoming storm
is triggering a Microinductor Dilfilabril
What's this, now? Dioptiloid
What is it? Microinductor diloptiloid.
Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
Not a word I use every day.
So what is that? LikeLightning?
Man, I hate lightning.
You mean you're scared of it.
What? Fraidy-cat!
Wrong! Scaredy-puss!
Wrong! Stop lying, zorak!
We're all so very sick of your lies!
Moltar! Get me a meteorologist now!
It's just a little space storm.
Do it! Zorak, play me to the desk.
Space Ghost Yes?
Did you just walk to the desk?
Yes. Yes, I did.
What's the matter? You scared?
I don't talk to big, fat liars whose lies we're all so--
Moltar. Ah, my answer, o tall, dark, handsome stranger
Moltar! What time?
Moltar! Hang on, big boy.
Where's my first guest?
I thought you wanted a meteorologist.
WellGuest first, then meteorologist.
You sure? Yep.
Ok. Hurry.
I got some questions I want to ask this sucker.
All right. Let me get a level from you.
A sound check--good.
Garrett. Huh?
If you have any problems,
like if you're not getting enough oxygen
I need some cash. What?
I thought you were real when you said if I had any problems,
so, you know what I mean, I just came with the problem.
I need some cash.
UhNo English.
Ok, bro.
Ladies and gentlemen Aaah!
Don't disappear! Where are you going?
Dropped my pen. Ha ha.
What was that?
That's creole for "let's go." Wow.
Yeah, it mean, "little one, let's go."
May I say that? Yeah.
Ok, here we go.
What's the matter? You scared?
I'm not afraid of lightning.
Well, look what we have here!
Greetings, citizen. Welcome to the big show.
Greetings, citizen. I'm glad to be on the show.
Identify yourself.
Uh, I am, uh Garrett, uh Morris, uh101.
I am phantasmo.
And stop blaming me.
When there's bad news, they don't blame Dan rather, do they?
No, not really.
But when it's bad weather, they blame me.
I would never blame you.
Thank you very much, big guy.
I'm totally serious.
Do they believe in, like, cash out there in the universe?
What's this, now?
Money, money, money, money, money.
I don't have any money.
I don't have any money.
If I could control the weather,
I would own the Space Ghost talk show,
because if people-- if I could control it,
it would be mark mcewen's weather controlling.
There you go.
And I'd live in Hawaii, I'd be a lot fatter,
and I'd have a hula hoop--one of those skirt things--on.
I'd be topless, sittin' around, just kind of drinking iced teas
and eating, like, chocolate chip cookies--rich.
I like the way you jiggle, weatherman.
Hey, man, I be listenin' to jazz all the time.
That was ebonics. I just said "I be."
Hey, that ain't the queen's English!
I know that. I am listening to jazz all the time.
Now, you're talkin'.
I knew he had broken the code,
so I say, "I be listenin'," so he understands what I'm saying.
Some other black guy might say, "what are you saying?"
Is there anything more funny than
somebody just drastically white
trying to speak colloquial 'hood?
You're the first person I've heard admit that.
I've been wanting to say that,
but I say, "they probably think I'm--"
I didn't do that.
So what's your forecast? Any black holes?
Uh, aren't black holes those things
that you want to stay away from?
Yeah, if you're yellow!
So, I mean, you'd predict them, then,
like, you'd run away from them
Because they would suck your
The rocket right into the black hole thing.
See, I've done a little bit of research on this.
If you have a black hole, and you got a rocket ship,
it just kind of goes in, and then you never see them again.
So you run from those things.
That makes sense If you're yellow. Ha ha ha!
We tend not to make fun of stuff like that.
Oh. Ok.
Hey, you know about You know about that?
You know about that?
OhYou bet.
You don't know about that, huh, man?
You notice I'm talking now another language?
It's taking me over. You see,
the metaphysical thing's taking me over.
But, anyway, I don't want to say voodoo or nothin' like that,
because when you people see this thing,
you always think Voodoo. Voodoo.
I'm talking about African medicine.
Yes, that's where my powers lie.
Many, many people have denied that
and found growths comin' out of their necks.
Yeah, thanks to you, buddy.
Well, I just refer back metaphysically to Marie leveau.
Do you remember the great queen Marie leveau?
Am I supposed to be hearing telephones dialing in here?
There's a story about Marie leveau.
You know, she was so powerful Where's zorak?
Here's zorak!
Where's zorak?
Here's zorak!
Where's zorak?
Here's zorak!
I'm here I'm gone.
I'm here I'm gone.
I'm here I'm gone.
You think I'm lying?
Uh-huh, Garrett, can I stop you for a sec?
Oh, ok.
Garrett, did you happen to see where zorak went?
Uh, him and, uh, the garbage person?
Green guy with a vest. He was just there.
He's green? Yeah. Remember?
Tall guy, bald
No pants Oh, that guy. Zorak. Yeah. Praying mantis-type guy.
Yeah. Yeah. You know, that makes me feel sick.
Ugh! Creepy-crawly, you know? Ugh!
You got a fat rump.
Ok Zorak!
Zorak Robert, you show yourself this instant!
Hey, my bobo paddle.
All right, little man, I'm counting to 3!
1 2 3!
4? Oh, my God, he's gone.
You're not a real meteorologist, are you?
Well, are you?
You're freakin' me out here, mark, ok?
This is uncool Most uncool.
18 19 20.
I still want to say something.
I think it's shameful that you are
supposed to be a crimefighter What?
Supposedly so concerned about crime What are you getting at?
And believe me, crime is out there
in the street Big surprise.
Here we have a hero with all these powers
who decides to come in and be a talk show host.
But what about all the crime that's going on out there, ghost?
You, sir, are thinking about earth crime.
That's galaxies away from me.
I'm thinking of responsibility.
Oh, man A sense of responsibility Whatever.
Of using your powers for positive contribution to society.
Garrett I don't get you.
I don't understand what I'm saying, either.
Let's just call it a day, shall we, Garrett?
and you can just Go someplace.
Uhh, ohh I'm back.
I guess I don't understand something about this sort of thing.
Well, you said somebody's going to get hurt.
I never said that!
Oh. Where did I hear that?
I must have read it.
Space Ghost! Zorak! What?! What?!
All this bedlam around us-- it's not a storm at all.
It's a fair! All right!
Is this the one that they've added the weatherman to?
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