Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s05e12 Episode Script

Waiting for Edward

Hyah! Hyah!
Hang on, zorak. Hang --
Moltar, how are you?
This is how I am, denis.
I'm destroying the planet.
Get out of here.
And I'm having a sale, too.
7 minutes, 27 seconds until total devastation.
What do you think about that?
Now, you, you overstep your, uh,
your boundaries when it comes to power.
How about a free kick in the throat?
See what I'm saying?
Moltar, are you trying to destroy the -- oooh! Are you having
another total devastation sale?
Everything must go.
I don't have any money!
Wow. Denis leary.
I've seen all your movies.
Thank you. Thank you.
I didn't think they were very good.
What'd you think?
Oof! Get off my back!
Oh! Sorry.
Ow! Get off my head!
This is going in your file!
Hello. I'm Space Ghost.
And I'm zorak.
Nobody cares who you are, zorak.
Man, you're wrong about that.
Okay, okay.
Everybody pipe down.
The guest is here.
It's interview time.
I like that that happened.
I'm gonna do that again.
Ohhhhh. Mmm.
Hi. How are ya?
Good. Good.
And you?
Oh, okay. Good.
There we are.
Denis, are you a leprechaun?
No. There's no such thing as leprechauns.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I was gonna say.
Okay, then.
Well, that's all I got.
We done here?
Uh, I have one question for you.
Have you ever thought of taking a
vacation and -- you're not listening.
Hey, what's this thing?
Don't touch it.
It's mine.
When did you get this?
I've had it.
You didn't tell me this was a synthesizer!
It has samples.
Hey, get out of there.
Scoot over.
Hey! Q-quit shoving!
Mine! My turn!
Hey, denis, what brings you to these parts?
Uhhhh You asked me to appear on the show, so I -- I did?
Oh, yeah.
I did, didn't I?
I'm actually doing this as a sort of a,
uh, a payback for my kids,
'cause they're big fans of your show.
I don't really watch the show, and I'm not really a big fan.
I don't think you're that funny, quite frankly.
Not that funny, eh?
Well, my kids watch the show, so I'm on the show
because it'll please my kids.
So the feelings of your stupid kids
are more important than mine
Who do you think you are?
I think the universe knows who I am, Space Ghost.
Then who do you think the universe knows i am, denis?
You're Space Ghost.
-And I'm denis leary, of course
-- master of the universe.
I know one or two guys who might disagree with you.
Like who?
Who else on the list?
"Star wars."
Okay, so, let's say that I'm, uh Master -- you're sure
you're not a leprechaun?
I'm too tall to be a leprechaun.
Okay, okay.
'Cause I was gonna say, you're the worst leprechaun
that we've ever had on the show.
Look, h-here's the bottom line -- h-hold on.
You have Madonna's new album?
Somebody's buying it.
Have you any dangerously sequined hot pants?
Perchance a scented thong?
I have some underwear that's scented, but I don't think
it's what you're looking for.
Hey. Denis.
Notice anything Different?
About my face?
We don't really care.
Hey, zorak.
Anybody else have any questions for denis?
Try this one.
"Nice jacket, fonzie."
And you want me to say this?
Out loud.
To denis.
Go on.
I don't think so.
Sit on it!
Hey, lay off!
That's my archenemy, denis.
Who are your archenemies?
And don't say me.
One more.
Aside from you, uh Dr. katz, another animated figure.
Why don't you just launch him into the deep recesses of space?
If I could.
Oh, that's right -- you're a smoker.
Who's the last person you --
you've launched into the deep recesses
of -- of space?
My friend Edward.
Oh, no.
I don't think Edward would approve of that.
Not extremely powerful, I must say.
I beat up charlton heston once.
Over the holiday.
In your one-dimensional world, you beat up charlton heston.
Yeah. I hit him over the head with some books.
So you're actually bragging about beating up a man
who must be in his late 80s, is that correct?
Uh, late 80s, early 90s.
You have any farmer stuff?
You have any astronaut stuff?
Uh You have any melba toast?
I got -- 'cause that's what I want.
I'd also like an army of rabbits, some tar, a glass hat Brak.
A book about lightning Brak.
A magical fortress made of rainbows -- Brak!
How are you gonna pay for all this?
With rocks.
I hope you die before your wedding!
I'm not getting ma-- I guess my
greatest fear would be to find myself
hopelessly attracted to one of my coworkers.
What are you doing?
That'll be $10.
Get off!
You can owe me.
Denis, what's your greatest fear?
Probably Having to have my own Show on prime cable.
Hey, do you want to move in with me?
No, thank you.
Well, then, how'd you like to help out around the set?
Nah, that's okay.
That's all right.
You sure?
Maybe you could overcome your fears.
I really -- I have a packed schedule.
We've got some exclusive interviews coming up.
I've got -- with who?
My friend Edward.
And who else?
Um Denis leary.
That's right -- denis leary.
Thank you, zorak.
You can owe me.
Lots of big names.
Big stuff going on here.
Hey, weren't we supposed to b--
And so, kids, that's the story of how I saved Christmas.
Now get back to work, you fat humps!
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