Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s06e06 Episode Script

Table Read

Was that an accident?
Come down here.
Oh, yeah. Now it's cool, but now everybody being cool. Sure.
Dude, I have-- hey, how come talent
is in the back of the damn line?
You're over here.
Where am I?
Hang on.
Yeah. I'm over here, sitting comfortably.
Conan script "2.8 ab." Ok.
Conan? You're gonna be conan.
Space Ghost, zorak/Moltar.
You're gonna be doing the music and effects, Dave reading
direction, Matt sound effects.
Ready when you are.
Written by Mike lazzo.
Produced by Mike lazzo.
Open on set. Musical fanfare.
Every time I think, "it's got to be the last one--"
Yeah. It's a little excessive.
Space Ghost descends from the heavens.
I think that musical fanfare is a little too long
No. Really, Mike? I was enjoying it.
But it shouldn't be as short as I think you think it should
be, but it's slightly long.
I thought it was good We did.
Didn't you, Clay?
That whole church thing at the end.
Space Ghost descends from the heavens glowing and godlike.
Sorry I'm late. I was out saving your life in the future.
I don't know what you're talking about, Space Ghost.
I'm talking about creation!
Space Ghost slams his fist down so hard, it bursts into flames.
Ah, burning hair. Daddy.
Daddy is on fire?
Yes. Can I help you?
Space Ghost grabs a blue card.
Have you ever-- the card bursts into flames.
I guess I'll go from memory.
Um Uh Um Uh Uh Um Uh Conan.
When you do, "uh," try and stay with the same--
like, you just drop your mouth.
Uh Don't keep interrupting with
different uhs. Just kind of be
that one stupid uh.
It was my version of the fanfare.
Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh
You know, when you first came on the air, I thought, "this guy
hasn't got a chance."
No offense Uh-huh.
But you know what I mean?
You're from space.
You're a cartoon, and your sixties
show really didn't go anywhere.
It got me a camaro.
Well, your sixties show wasn't that great.
Wasn't very good.
It wasn't very good.
Flashback to old "Space Ghost" episode. Space Ghost has
his back to us, shouting.
Well, Jerry, the jig is up, up in the air, because you're
going down, all the way down, not up where the jig is, where I
said before. Where's the damn camera?
Gigantobird swoops in and slams Space Ghost.
In, "well, Jerry, the jig is up"-- oh, yeah, yeah. I could've
gone harder on, "where's"-- it's, "where I said before."
Ok. So I'm still staying in that.
You're still staying in that.
Because I thought it was a little confused there.
It's confused on, "where's the damn camera?"
But I'm superhero all the way through Exactly.
Top to bottom.
"Where I said before."
Where's the damn camera?
No. That is, now you're confused.
Where's the damn camera?
Yeah. This is a shot from an old "Space Ghost" show, and
you're actually not even facing the audience. You're standing on
this Mountain, and you're like this looking out.
It's a rock.
Yeah. Oh, it's a rock?
Whatever. Yeah.
Uh I thought the gigantobird noise was pretty good
I thought that was fantastic.
And you did a great wookiee, by the way.
Thank you. Thank you. We've been sold on Dave's wookiee.
Back to set.
They were space monsters, conan, not actors.
Yeah, yeah.
See him over there? Monster.
Where? Where's the monster?
Ha ha ha! Giving me the business. Ha ha ha!
Conan stares at zorak.
Is it Moltar?
It's Wallace.
Yeah, sure.
I'm Wallace, too.
Shut up, Moltar. For argument's sake, let's say zorak
was Wallace, wild Wallace.
What would you do?
I think what I'd do at first is, I'd hold my arms out like this.
So you can have a front-row seat to be right there to be
watching them as you see them being ripped off at the sockets?
You fool.
I don't have a weapon.
Wait. You have a talk show without any weapons?
So always have a weapon?
And what should it do? Should it immobilize people?
It should destroy everything in a 5-click radius, so, yeah,
immobilize people.
I'm confused because there's so many rays. There's a ray that
disintegrates people. There's a ray that makes people float.
And there's some rays that I downloaded off the Internet.
Space Ghost fires the "la cucaracha" ray, and his desk
crashes up and down like a lowrider.
I love that ray.
My neighbor doesn't. So you've heard of me, right?
Space Ghost?
Space man.
Space Ghost.
Thank you. You've heard of me, right? Space Ghost?
Space man. You were a space man
who died and became a Space Ghost.
I've always been dead, conan.
I know that you don't want the kids to know that you died,
ohh, but you died, baby. You got to get down with that.
It's true. Everyone should know this. Space Ghost was a
space man who had an embarrassing death.
Flashback. Space Ghost reaches into
his aquarium with an electric shaver.
Dr. fishopulos, you need a shave.
Aah! A shave.
Aah! A shave.
Back to set.
A shave. Bwah ha ha ha!
A shave. Ha ha ha!
Dr. fishopulos!
This fishopulos thing bothers me back to back.
What if he yelled, "no,"
before it?
You're remembering this thing that you've made up how you
died, and you come out of this
fantasy of how you died, which is
You're adding, "no," there?
This fish that you've never even owned.
And you're shaving it.
"No! Dr, fishopulos!"
Yeah. Try adding a, "no," in front of that.
No! Dr. fishopulos!
Face it, Space Ghost.
You're a space man that choked on a muffin.
Wait. No. You're thinking of space cop.
I saw that on the wb, actually.
They'll carry anything. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha! Look at my hand, conan. It's glistening with sweat.
I'm looking at your hand.
That's what George Michael said.
Ha ha ha! Get it? Because he had that problem?
Ha ha ha! Laughing is fun.
Maybe too much there.
Like real nonchalant, you know, like everybody knows that.
And who are you again?
I'm Ha ha! I'm sorry.
I'm just ribbing mark, for crying out loud.
They just bring me into the room.
Ok. Anything else for page 6?
I dreamt I grew a beard of hamburger last night, shaved it
off, and ate it.
Looking at page 8 at the top, "that's what that guy you said
earlier said."
Mm-hmm. You're on where?
Now where are we, middle, top, bottom? Where, where, where?
Yeah, yeah. Middle of 8, or, like, top middle of 8.
Uh-huh. That's what that guy you said earlier said. Ha ha ha!
Get it?
Ha ha ha!
You really need to play these as they're written.
Ha ha ha!
Yeah. Listen to how he does it,
and then you follow kind of laughing.
That's what that guy you said earlier said. Ha ha ha!
Exactly, but I wouldn't go exactly like him.
Well, you just said to go exactly like him.
I know I did, and I was completely wrong.
Ok, then.
I would go, "ha ha ha! " Not exactly like him.
Ha ha ha!
Hee hee! Ha ha ha!
So what's his life like?
Is there a beat there?
You're doing that fine.
I think you're doing that fine.
Give him an "a." Write, "a."
Ok. As are good, at least.
They look great on paper.
On page 5
"What am I doing? " Then he's gonna find out. He's like,
"yeah. Immobilize people."
Are you listening?
Beyond that, I'm ignoring you.
So, "yeah. Immobilize people ," that's more sarcastic.
It's like, "no duh."
Yeah. Immobilize people.
Page 8. Page 8, George.
I just had a frightening animatronic image of Dave's
nipples on the slow-motion thing going,
"dink dink dink dink dink
dink dink dink."
We'll have to see if that happens.
Hey, my paper got wet.
Industrial whistle blows.
To the mines!
You do it.
Space Ghost, zorak, and-- I felt like doing a whistle.
I do the whistle every time.
I'm sorry. Do the whistle.
To the mines!
Well, Space Ghost, at the end of an interview, it is
traditional for the talk show host to say, "thanks for being
here, conan. This was conan o'brien. Check out his show on
nbc at 12:35." For all these people know, my show is a cop
show on fox or something.
Isn't it?
"Isn't it." Just-- yeah.
"For all these people know, my show is a cop show on fox or
something." You're not even paying attention. You're sort of
walking out. "Isn't it?"
I mean, I gave him kind of a knowing, like, "isn't it?"
"Isn't it a cop show?"
It's not like that at all.
No. Well, I know. I caught it when I did it, but-- isn't it?
You're in a mining car.
Isn't it?
Is it? Can I say, "it isn't?"
Say, "isn't it?"
Yes. God knows, we wouldn't want to tamper with this, would we?
Nope. Any general notes?
Anybody wondering about the clown?
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