Speechless (2016) s01e23 Episode Script

C-a-- Camp

1 Last day of school, Ray.
Got one more in you? [Sighs] You're gonna kill us! Aw, I love you, too.
[Tires screech, horns honk] - [Beeps] - Can't slow her down.
[Beeps] Like mother, like daughter.
"I like you as a friend.
" I like you, too.
"See you next fall.
" "I forgive you.
" "Please quit texting me.
" Yeesh.
I've really put myself out there this year.
What a sad, interesting take.
I have been rejected by every girl in my grade.
Except Hello, Heather G.
Where have you been hiding? School's out for summer No.
No, no, no, no.
This isn't gonna work.
Chill! Everyone, listen.
Single-file, stay in line this way.
One "Have a nice summer, Love, JJ" stamp per person.
All right.
Have nice summer.
And be careful.
These knock-off Fabergé eggs are worth more than you make in a year, if they fool people.
No problem, sir.
Also, I appreciate how open you are about your dishonesty.
My school's been blown to pieces Get in there.
Class: Bah, bah No more pencils No more books No more teacher's dirty looks - Heather! - Bah, bah - Heather! - Bah, bah [School bell rings] Heather! Heather G.
! Wait up.
So, listen.
You and I have nev I like you as a friend.
Summer! Maya: Ah, 10 weeks of camp, 70 days' worth of JJ outfits.
Why so many changes? Won't they do his laundry there? And trust them to use a detergent mild enough for this? Are you mad? "Wait.
I don't have 70 days' worth of underwear.
" You do now.
Ray and I no longer have any days' worth of underwear, do we? You do not.
This camp is awesome.
Horseback riding, river rafting, zip-lining? All for kids with disabilities? I'd hate to see their insurance premiums.
Fun, son.
"It's awesome, and I'm going to do it all.
" Just got to make sure that knee's ready.
Let's get back to it.
You'll get there, darling.
You're gonna be at that camp in no time.
Are we okay here? Mom's not gonna see her baby the whole summer.
I thought she'd be losing it.
What are we on about? How surprising it is that I'm holding it together? I know.
Shocking, right? Tell you what.
I am so proud of JJ.
He is gonna get the send-off he deserves.
I will not allow my emotions to ruin this.
You're able to control your emotions and contain yourself like that? Never tried.
Let's find out.
JJ's gonna have a heck of a summer.
This camp looks really cool.
So cool.
And good for him, you know? He's a great kid.
The best.
It's just He's gonna have this great summer, and we don't get to do anything? Yes.
And not that JJ doesn't deserve this.
I'd love a beach vacation, but we spent the money we saved for a trip on camp.
Not that JJ doesn't deserve this.
What? All we get to do this summer is fly on a plane, drop JJ off, and then fly back? We don't get any say? [Sighs] Not that JJ doesn't deserve this.
But, no, we don't get much say in stuff like this.
So if we can't fly someplace fun, maybe we can make the flight fun.
We're gonna wear surgical masks and cough on the plane so people think we're getting them sick? [Chuckles] No, not again.
But I'll think of something.
JJ, have you been doing the exercises I gave you? He has.
A lot.
Yeah, I can tell.
No one ever does the exercises.
Do you, like, feel better? I mean, I really want to know.
So is the knee ready? Oh, right.
Hoping to head off to camp, huh? Ah, camp.
Some good memories, huh? Oh, no.
Not at all.
I was actually remembering coming home.
Then, that was misleading.
Came home early.
But I overdid it.
Five weeks.
How long you going for? 10?! Are you nuts? Well, you know, maybe it was different for me.
I'm really close to my family.
Well, JJ's actually quite close to his.
This family? Yeah? Okay, well, then, camp's gonna be a challenge.
But hey, look on the bright side.
Which is? Oh, gosh, I have no idea.
I guess I meant, look for the bright side.
Okay, then.
You're cleared for camp.
[Chuckles] All right.
So, um, what you got going on this summer? What are you so happy about? A random girl in a car just looked at me and smiled.
That tells me my problem with girls isn't my looks.
What's the one thing girls who reject me have in common? They know me.
So you want to go after girls who don't know you.
But once one gets to know you, she knows you, so, like, game over.
But what if I'm not me? I'm interested.
I just need to change everything about me.
Where do I start? The way you talk, the way you breathe, the way you dress, the way you chew This is good.
Let me get a pen.
All right, here we are.
Our final meal as a family for 10 weeks.
I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say this is the most dramatic last supper in history.
[Chime] "Can we just eat?" Yep.
I made your favorite, Dad's famous lasagna.
"Big whoop.
" Hurtful.
Also not anything someone has really said for 20 years.
Before we eat, Dylan has a present for you.
I wanted to make sure you're only having good dreams at camp, so I made you a dreamcatcher.
Ray: "Big whoop.
" All right.
Dylan worked really hard on that.
"I worked really hard on something this morning, too.
I had the good sense to flush it.
" JJ, have you hired writers? Can we just move on? Ray also has something special for you.
I'm just gonna read the room and say "pass"? No, darling.
Don't be silly.
Come on.
I wrote a poem.
"Song of the Wind.
" Nature sings her glorious song.
Tra-la-lee, tra-la-la Okay, so maybe the poem can wait.
Lasagna? Dylan: "Barf.
Just give me cereal.
" JJ, what's going on? "Well, that poem sucked, and not even Garfield would eat Dad's lasagna.
" Oh.
So it's JJ who's gonna make this terrible.
Garfield would eat my lasagna.
Right, emergency family meeting minus JJ plus Kenneth.
Thank you for being here on your first day off the clock.
I just want to be clear that this will not be a regular thing.
I'm transitioning into summer Kenneth.
The shell necklace is already on.
It only gets more tropical from here.
Can we just talk about JJ? I mean, he's being such a jerk.
Yeah, a lying jerk at that.
He said my poem sucked.
Mom loved it.
What were your exact words, Mom? I said, "That is a poem indeed.
" Is he "big whoop-ing" you? All: Yes! I've seen that JJ before.
He was stressed out at school.
He used the worst slang.
I gotta say that stuff! Okay, so he's nervous about missing us when he goes off.
He's picking fights to make it easier to leave.
Well, we can't have a big fight before he goes away for 10 weeks, okay? We cannot take the bait.
It's so hard not to take the bait.
You know that.
You love bait.
I know, darling.
Bait is delicious.
But it's off the menu.
We can do this for JJ's sake, okay? Do we all understand? - Yeah.
- Roger, dodger.
- So he gets it from you.
- Fo sho.
So, I was banging my head against the wall thinking of which not me to be.
Then I realized they just gave out a whole book filled with hot, popular guys just waiting to be copied.
Take yo-yo king Jules Jackman.
And this was your first choice? Okay, get ready for Dad to make something fun.
I can get us a layover, a mini-vacation in the middle of our trip, and you get to pick where.
Okay, wow me.
All right.
Miami International Terminal J.
The lady is intrigued.
Two miles of moving sidewalks, bathrooms that are cleaned every 20 minutes, and a tropical-themed restaurant that makes you feel like you're at the beach.
Also, and this is just a bonus, Will Smith considers Miami to be the city where the heat is on, but the [Mumbling] Miami.
I want to layover in Miami.
We'll take the bags in.
Right, then! Time to say goodbye to JJ.
[High-pitched voice] Oh, I'm really gonna miss you, JJ.
[Normal voice] Oh, don't worry van.
He'll be back soon.
[High-pitched voice] Not soon enough.
He's the only person in this family on wheels, like me.
Oh, come on, darling.
I'm just trying to have a bit of fun before all the big good-bye.
"I don't want a big good-bye.
I don't need the drama.
" Well I'm sorry, darling.
It comes as a package.
You know, it's like cable.
If you want "world's best mother," you will have to order "big goodbye.
" And Starz.
You know what, I'm gonna stay positive, okay, no matter what you don't say.
I know what that look means.
It doesn't bother me.
Doesn't bother me either.
I'm a what? That is enough! Gosh, in a few hours, you're gonna have the whole summer to yourself.
"And you can get your own life.
" Oh, thank you.
I will.
I'll work on that as soon as I've got you in the cabin.
"Why wait?" What? "Spare us both.
Don't come.
" You don't mean that.
Fine, have a nice summer, JJ.
- Maya speaking.
- Hello, Formal Maya.
You made your point.
Come on back.
No, I'm not coming back.
JJ doesn't want me.
Honey, stop it.
He's going away for the whole summer.
You don't want to miss this.
No, I don't, but I want to give him the best goodbye I can, even if that means I'm not there.
The four of you will be fine.
Four? What, I have Ray and Dylan? Oh, I am terrible at this! Come back.
I found it The guy I want to be.
Eben Dryer.
He's cool.
Check out his picture.
Dylan: "Photo not available.
" So, we're all interested because of the mystery.
Pretzels or peanuts? I don't know.
You tell me.
You know what, take both.
See that? If I applied that to a romantic situation, I'd have two girlfriends.
What time is it? Bath time! Oh.
Hello, Maya.
I thought you were gonna be on a plane.
Were you planning on staying here while we were gone? No.
But why are you here? Oh, JJ said he didn't want me.
Well, isn't there some big goodbye tonight? A bonfire that you don't have to ruin for him to be included in? Come on.
You want to see that.
Of course I do.
But I shouldn't I listen to him? Maya, he needs you.
No, he doesn't.
I packed everything he needs, got him prepared emotionally, physically, socially You're convincing me JJ doesn't need you and not making fun of this outfit the day after I stop working here? We have about an hour until our next flight.
Dylan and I were gonna go on an adventure.
Your mom's not here, so it's your lucky day.
You're welcome to come experience the riches of Miami! Airport.
"I'm fine here.
" Mysterious kid? - Do I want to come? - No time for this.
Be here for your brother.
Call me if there are any issues.
Maybe I will, maybe I - Ray! - Ray! Okay, I will.
Commencing vacation in tres, dos, uno Miami! Okay, here's why you're going.
Sit down.
Dear God, you listened.
I know, it's madness.
JJ is not a "disabled" boy.
He is a boy.
He will push back.
JJ's biggest fits of stubbornness come right before his biggest spurts of growth.
You read the book My JJ Care Book.
Over and over.
And it's right.
Except for that part about the transfers to the bath I think I have a better way to do that.
Yeah, like bloody hell you do.
There she is.
You used my own words to sway me.
Such intelligence from a man who smells so strongly of coconut.
Okay, let's go.
I've got one of Jimmy's airline vouchers left.
It's a long flight, and I don't like to drink alone.
Oh, you can not drink.
Do you have any idea how stupid you sound? This is good.
It gives me a good excuse to get out of something I should not have said yes to.
I told a friend I'd help him move.
Hey, buddy.
It's Kenneth.
Listen, a work thing came up, and I'm not gonna be able to make it.
No, no, no, no! You do not cancel on me! - Are you nuts? - Okay, dog.
Are you kidding me? [Phone beeps] He said he'd find someone else.
[Indistinct announcement on P.
] Somehow it's less impressive than I imagined.
How can you say that? What about those bathrooms? Mine was being cleaned while I was in it! And here we are.
This is the reason why we're here.
Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
[Sighs] Dad, it's okay.
It's you.
You'll make it fun.
[Scoffs] What? Sweetie, I wish I didn't have to, for once, roll the fun boulder up a hill of suck.
You play along while I try to wring a drop of joy out of a blackout or running out of gas or a great-aunt's funeral.
I loved playing "Who's Next?" Don't.
I don't want to take lemons and make lemonade.
I want to show you the real thing, obvious fun, just one time.
Come on, Daddy.
I feel like a dog! Whoo-hoo! We're all dogs in Miami! - Whoo! - Whoo! Actual fun! Enjoy it, sugar, for both of the seconds we have left.
[Squeals] - I love Mi - We gotta go.
I love Miami! Ah, the great outdoors.
It's so peaceful.
A man can be alone with his thoughts.
Yeah, I did have a lot of potential.
There was always an excuse, wasn't there? Dad? Yeah, yeah.
Camp! Hi.
The name's DiMeo.
JJ DiMeo? She's here! We're kind of obsessed with your mom.
She called a lot, asking about the water pressure, the menu, whether the T-shirts would bring out the green in your eyes.
They do.
We're good.
Oh, thank God.
Um, where is she? Welcome to cabin 3.
Looks like there's just one bunk left.
"That's a top bunk.
I can't do that.
" You'll be just fine.
"Tell me I'll be okay.
Give me a Mom speech.
" Well, I obviously can't match her for rousing, inspirational content, but I do think I've I've got the accent.
Oi, love! Ooh, wow, no, I can't do any of it.
Ooh! Welcome to Maine.
Which camp are you trying to get to? We don't have much going on here.
Oh, right.
Well, that one.
We're terribly late, and I've got to say goodbye to my baby boy.
I don't suppose there's any way you could give us a ride.
I'd like to help.
But I should warn you, I don't have a car.
Hi! Do you work here? I don't know.
- Do I? - What? I need help opening this chair for my brother.
And if you don't work here, I'm supposed to report you right away.
Security! Wait, wait, wait! No, no.
I'm like you.
My brother actually uses this exact wheelchair.
You just have to un-click here and You're a life saver.
So, why were you being weird before? Long story.
I was having trouble talking to girls.
You were? You seem sweet.
I am sweet! [Chuckles] I'm Ray.
I'm Taylor.
So, I should get this to my brother.
And then go counsel.
Would you like to walk with me? I'd really, really like that.
Can't be far now.
Where there's bon-smoke, there's bonfire.
Oh, the sidewalk ends.
Should we leave the chair here? Campers: She'll be driving six white horses when she comes She'll be driving six white horses when she comes She'll be driving six white horses She'll be driving six white horses "Wow, actual big-whoop.
" [Laughter and shouting] Yes, it is a tremendous whoop.
"I think I'm gonna love it here.
" Good.
Miss Mom a little less? "More.
" [Helicopter whirring] JJ! JJ! Hello! I need to find my son.
Have you established a social order yet? Where's your most popular camper? - Maya! - Kenny! Hello! Hold on.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You didn't want a scene, but I had to come.
I tried to find a reason that you'd need me, and I couldn't.
So I came for me.
I needed to see you.
I needed to see this, and I needed to say goodbye.
So, I'm sorry if you don't want me here, but I came for me.
"I want you" H-E "here.
" And that is why I came, for you.
This moment brought to you by Summer Kenneth.
I asked for two minutes.
Anyway, all of the girls at my school talk to each other.
Why am I telling you how every girl I meet doesn't like me? Not that I want you to like me.
I like you as a friend, maybe more.
I don't wa to rule anything out.
Remember when I helped you open that wheelchair? That sure was nice.
I like you, too.
As a friend.
With nothing ruled out.
Oi, Ray! Time to go.
Already? Maybe we can meet after camp.
Where do you live? California.
I live in California, Orange County! What? I live in Orange County! This is unbelievable! Listen, Taylor, I know this is fast, but will you be my summer pen-pal girlfriend? Oh.
Actually, I already have a summer pen-pal boyfriend is what I'll tell the next guy who asks 'cause I'm your pen-pal.
You faked me out! Your sense of humor is as wicked as mine! I love us! "Thanks for bringing me here.
I'm sorry I was a jerk about it.
" I'm glad you were.
It kept me from being sad until this very moment.
- We love you, buddy.
- You'll have fun.
Yeah, but not too much fun.
You got this, baby boy.
JJ! JJ! I have a girlfriend!