Spirited (2010) s02e05 Episode Script

Sweet Child o' Mine

1 I just went back and I saw my mum playing cards, and I remembered she works at the casino.
You gotta go and look for her.
Henry Mallet! Henry? Yeah.
I'm a dentist.
I have two children.
You have to go.
Don't come here again.
Zac, you look like Henry Mallet tonight.
I tasted cheese with Rita.
I nearly split my gut on Jonquil's bolognaise sauce.
But nothing satisfied me.
I want you.
I have no idea what I did.
But, um, I seem to have written 100 pages.
Suzy? Like a snake calling on a phone I've got no time to be alone Someone coming at me all the time Babe, I think I'll lose my mind 'Cause I'm stranded On my own Stranded far from home Alright Stranded.
What are you doing? Ruminating.
I know what 'ruminating' means.
Do ya? Do you also knows what it means to eat, taste to touch and breathe? Yes.
I remember.
Well, now try to imagine having all of that ripped away from you over and over and over again.
It feels like dying.
At least you got to do it.
Zac's got a cold.
He's in bed, snotty.
Zac's got a cold.
He doesn't even remember it.
Just fuck off, will ya? Leave me alone.
Oh, you sound bad.
I never get sick.
I've got the constitution of an of an ox.
You had quite a night.
I've never seen you like that.
Well, I nailed it.
And now, I'm paying for it.
You taking the baby out? Our morning walk.
I think the real thing's a little noisier than a sack of flour.
I programmed it in.
Every four minutes, my nerves get blasted.
Just like a real mum.
You're a genius.
I know.
Get better.
I'll try.
You've called Jonquil.
Please leave a message.
Call me.
Something imp Would you like a coffee? Lovely.
Mind if I do the crossword? No.
Do you like crosswords? Sure.
You smoke? Mm.
You want one? No.
I'm a dentist.
Oh, the cigarettes bother you? No! Well, not me, Verity - throat, lungs, gums.
We have a balcony outside.
Of course.
It's a nice place.
Oh, thanks.
How long will they take to paint your apartment? I know this is a bit awkward, having me here.
I do appreciate it.
We should tell Jonquil you're here.
Who? Your daughter.
She changed her name.
A long time ago.
She actually lives downstairs.
How odd.
Mum's here Mum's just turned up.
Guess what? Mum's arrived Oh, sorry.
You look terrible.
Um, where's Jonquil? Uh, she went for a walk.
Big night last night? I can't remember.
Well, that's good.
Um, where did she walk? Not far.
She's got the baby with her.
What baby? Uh Hello.
I won't bite.
Unless you're made of licorice.
Are you? No.
Um what should I call you? Helen.
I mean, like, you know, 'Nanna' or 'Grandma' or 'Gran'.
My friend, Elenie, calls her grandmother 'Boomba'.
Let's go with Nanna Helen.
Listen, your mother's coffee is terrible.
Would you like me to tell her? No.
Why don't we nip out and get a proper one? Are there any places around here I could get a good one, and a hot chocolate for you? Yeah.
She's here.
I found her.
So, how's the old man taking the news? Hi.
So, uh, this is big.
You OK? Dazed, actually.
I just keep looking at her.
She's her, but it's like I can see the woman who left inside her.
So, where's she been? I don't know.
I haven't asked her.
She just arrived.
And I Hmm.
She likes crosswords.
And she smokes.
Are you OK? How you feeling? Crap, actually.
Last night, I got to smoke, to eat, drink.
I got to hold you, touch you.
And now, I'm back to being Mr Invisible again.
You've never been invisible.
But last night I I was alive, Suze.
I was I was fucking alive.
Hi, Jonquil.
Meet my nanna.
I think I prefer Helen.
Hello, Emma.
It's been a while.
Want a coffee? Why have you got a bag of flour in that baby thingummybob? That's a good question.
I've got to take her home.
No need to be nervous.
Not at all.
Just a bit of drilling.
Nice and wide.
Excuse me, Doctor? Aaaagh! Jonquil, I'm with a patient.
What is it? What is it? I actually do want to talk to you.
But now is just really not the time.
Can you just? Just? Just? Guess who I just met? Oh, shivers.
Our mother.
Yeah, our mother who's staying at your house.
How can you not tell me this? I tried.
I went down to Zac's and you'd gone for a walk.
I rang your phone.
I don't have my phone on when I'm walking with the baby.
You found our mother and you didn't tell me.
Who are you? When I was eight, I spent every afternoon on the kerb outside our house waiting for her car.
I know.
I remember.
For two years, Suzy.
For two years I did that.
Well, I told you not to.
I said she'd gone.
You're an emotional retard.
I'd like to leave now, please.
Morning, Your Majesty.
You look like shit.
Been out in the world.
Really knocks me about.
Did you miss me? Um I only cried the first night.
Now I've never possessed a body.
What was it like? Like nothing else on this earth.
While it lasted.
How do you do it? Well I've got no fucking idea.
I don't need online dating.
I like to meet women organically.
What, at Blue Light Discos and hay rides? Those days are over, my ageing friend.
It seems a way to be rejected by millions instead of just once every now and again, when I'm drunk enough to forget it ever happened.
Terry, you know what women like? No.
Is that not obvious? Confidence.
Hmm? Well, cash and a big dick doesn't hurt either.
But statistically, there are four times the amount of women on this thing.
And all their profiles read but one word.
Desperate women.
That will be the herd from which you cull.
You're just gonna make me do it, aren't you? I am.
What are you doing now? Setting one up for Suzy as well.
Why? Well, she hasn't seen anyone since we broke up.
It's just not right.
She needs to move on.
And if she needs my help, she gets it.
Well, that's very nice of you.
I never stop loving, mate.
That is just who I am.
So, uh, this new mother, what's what's she like? She's nice.
She was always very stylish - very.
Do you know why? No.
I I don't know anything about her.
I've hardly said two words to her.
This is good shit, Zac.
Proper page-turner.
If I could, in fact, turn the page.
So, she's your mother.
She's back.
Just talk to her.
It's not that Simple.
It's emotionally overwhelming.
A text.
A text.
A text from her.
Let me see.
"Verity and I are seeing a movie.
See you tonight.
X" Only one kiss.
Yeah, that's good.
You have to come up and have dinner with us tonight.
We have to do this together.
Yeah, you could woo her with some of your broccoli bolognaise.
Yeah, yeah.
Suze, she's back.
Suze? Suze? Tell him not to fuck about with this.
- Zac? - He's gonna edit it.
He's gonna change all my words.
Yeah? I'd love to read what you wrote last night, before you change a single word.
I'm going back to bed.
What actually is that? I can't take your judgment right now, Suzy.
You have no right to do that.
Oh, come on, Suze.
You need to see people.
Sex is important.
Studies have shown that you need to do it at least twice a month just to stay mentally stable.
Oh, that's not true.
Look at the Pope.
You know that's true.
When I look at you, I see a lot of stuck chi.
I don't even know what 'chi' is.
Well, you've had 27 hits already.
Poor old Terry, only two.
Terry's on it? Mm.
He is.
See, no shame in it anymore.
Are you on it? What? Be serious.
Good luck with it, though.
Oh, that's good.
Do that one again.
Henry, Steve has put me on a dating site.
Do I look desperate? Um what's a dating site? People put their pictures and their profiles online, and then you look at them and they look at you, and then you get together and millions of people do it.
What, like a giant singles bar? Yeah, I suppose so.
We could find you a bloke.
I don't want a bloke.
I have a you.
A me who can jump into other people's bodies.
We can't do that.
Oh, here we go.
I assume you're about to raise some sort of moral thingy.
Zac is quite ill.
Zac is a new man.
He's written a song, he's finished a book.
A few days in bed, people will be glad of the rest.
Zac doesn't remember a thing, does he? No.
Thank goodness.
That would be awkward.
Come on.
If you don't know it's happened, how have you been hurt? Really.
No, we can't.
We just can't.
I'm cooking.
You go talk to her.
What do I say? Surely, after all this time, you've got something.
Where do I begin? Has she said anything about anything? No.
Book's safe.
Saved and off to the editor, who will no doubt be astonished.
Wow! The dining dead.
For fuck's sake, say something.
How's the trout, everyone? Lovely.
I'm a psychiatrist.
Did I tell you? No.
No, you're not.
Yes, I am.
Well, practically.
So, you're both career women.
That's great.
Dad was very focused on our education.
He always wanted to give us that.
And what have you been up to for the last 25 years, Mummy dearest? And, uh, what about you, Mum? What have you been doing? Well, um, at the moment, I'm a croupier at the casino.
Oh! How interesting! Gambling.
And, uh, how long have you been a croupier? And were you always in Sydney as a croupier? Oh, I came and went.
Where did you go when you went? - Different places.
- Hmm.
What a slippery fish.
Come on, who the hell are you, really? Who? Don't say that.
The weather? Do you remember when, um, you and I went down to the lake and we found that old green boat? And you put me in it and pushed it out, and I floated along, waving to you, and then you waded out and got me.
And we were laughing so much.
And then we had scones and jam.
Isn't that from 'Wind in the Willows? Why would I push a child out onto a lake? I don't know.
Fun? Sounds dangerous.
Yeah, it does.
You don't remember that? Of course I do, Emma.
Oh! It was lovely.
You OK? Well, I guess I get my awkwardness from her.
She's hiding something.
25 years of something.
Do you think I'm useless 'cause I couldn't ask? No.
It's hard to ask a question if you're scared of the answer.
Yes! You are very wise sometimes, Henry.
Not really.
I just remember how I felt when I thought I got Bo Derek pregnant.
Maybe you're right.
About what? Well, Zac doesn't remember anything and Jonquil said he's feeling better tonight.
So, maybe we wouldn't be hurting anyone.
Are you sure about that? It felt like you.
Just when I opened my eyes, it was not you.
But if I didn't open my eyes Shh.
Stay there.
Stay there.
Don't talk.
Suzy? Your mum's standing right here.
She's crying, Suze.
Ah, there you are.
Where's weird Helen? At work.
She's not weird.
Really? You should take a look at that diary of hers.
No! You don't read other people's diaries.
Hey, look at my profile on the dating site.
Steve wrote it.
Oh, God.
"Suzy Darling.
"Qualities - very organised, fit, speaks German.
" Wow! He really knows how to lure them in, doesn't he? We've got to change this.
To what? How about the truth? The truth? Hmm? Type this.
"Qualities - funny and warm" Oh, yeah.
And sometimes awkward.
"Can be brave and terrified in the very same second.
"But somehow, always, bravery wins through.
" Really? Mm.
"And has a heart that beats so strong, it can stir the dead.
" Henry, I'm not gonna write that.
Also put "Has massive control issues and can't cook for shit.
" Mm-hm.
Let's take a look at some suitors.
Nice tattoo.
What - the one on his neck? Yeah.
He looks dirty.
Yeah, right.
Oh, he looks nice.
Suze, he's got a lemon pullover tied effortlessly about his neck.
It says he's a successful surgeon.
Does it? Well, he should get out his scalpel and remove that fucking jumper.
Ah, Aaron.
He's an anaesthetist.
He says, "But don't judge me for that.
God will smash me later Ha-ha He's a regular Oscar Wilde.
That's very funny.
Oh, he plays in his own band on the weekends.
And he likes The Clash and The Nerve.
I like him.
Me too.
Let's buy him.
Yeah? Fancy a shag? Sure.
Yeah, me too.
And it looks like I'm gonna get one.
Sorry? Yeah.
Found a new body.
Suzy's gonna bring him here tonight.
I'm gonna jump into his body Then you jump into hers.
Don't be crass.
It's a bit sick, isn't it? You're dead.
Why don't you just get over it? Just put yourself in my shoes for a second.
Tell me you wouldn't want the same thing.
Oh! You really love her.
I have a bit of a problem with that that word, that particular phrase.
Works beautifully in a song.
I love you But, uh you know, as a general sort of statement, it kind of gives me the willies.
But yeah, basically, yep.
Now, double-kick.
Heading for the wall.
Here comes the tumble turn.
On my call.
Here we go.
And I got a date.
Already? Yeah.
She's really very beautiful.
Well, I wouldn't believe their photo, mate.
Remember, she has seen yours.
So, it's very doubtful that she'll be hot.
Oh, right.
Oh, come on.
Don't be like that.
Look, there's just a whole lot of fantasy that goes with this online dating stuff.
But I am happy for you, even if she is a dog.
Oi! What do you think you're doing? You still have 400 metres to go.
I think I did a hammy.
A hammy? Are your arms broke as well? Hey, Suzy? Hello? Hello? Hello, Jonquil.
Anyone home? Finally, someone who'll have a snoop.
"Working in a cafe in Bendigo.
"Live with Gerry.
He's nice.
"Must get home.
" "What am I doing in Darwin, at a Greyhound bus station? "Have red hair.
" "Where's Robbie?" Helen, you are a cracker.
"Dinner with my girls.
Have I made a mistake coming back? "Who am I to them? A strange, lonely woman.
"But I had dinner with my girls.
"It was a dream come true.
" I wasn't sure, so I got a few things.
I can return them.
What do you think? Wow! You look like a hostess for Air Croatia.
Parrot in a blender.
You're very picky.
God, that is the worst yet.
You look like you've been shot.
This is one of mine.
Is it? Sorry.
Why don't you try the one I picked? Suze, we need to pick this guy up and lure him back here.
If you want to attract a mate, you need to have the right plumage.
Hallelujah! I don't look like a prostitute? Yes, you do.
But in a good way.
Henry! What? We're running out of time.
Well, don't change out of that one then.
Oh, come on.
Glasses? Beautiful.
So, uh you, um You sure you want to go through with it? Well, we don't have to go all the way.
It's a first date.
Well, strictly speaking, second.
Zac was first.
But, um Yeah.
You look really nervous.
I am.
I haven't been on a date for 15 years - possibly ever.
I have no idea how to pick up.
Well, worst comes to the worst, pour yourself a shot of vodka, stand up, knock it back.
Say, "Take me home," and head for the door.
"Take me home.
" Do I have to specify whose home? Less is more.
And what if he doesn't follow? Then he hasn't got a pulse.
Oh, Henry.
I can't wait to kiss your neck.
I can't wait to touch your face.
With his fingers.
You know what I mean.
Mum! And Verity.
I'm staying too.
Suzy? Aaron Morgan.
Suzy Darling.
Oh Um, sorry.
So, you found it alright? Yes.
Yes, I have a satellite navigator in my car.
It's Do you have one? They're really good.
I should get one.
Um, shall we get, uh, some drinks? Sure.
Suzy? Hi.
I'm on a date.
I'm Olga.
This is my date.
She's a model.
She's tall.
And, anyway We have to go.
So, have fun.
Uh, you're dressed pretty weird.
Oh, thanks.
That's a great red.
And it made all the lights look funny.
I busted again.
Hit me.
You're really getting the hang of this.
Well, I remember what you deal.
Then I work out when a run of picture cards is coming.
Eight o'clock, Rain Man.
Time for bed.
School tomorrow.
Oh, let her stay up.
For me.
Of course, Mum.
"Pearlie took the small woven bag and slung it over her shoulder.
"And who was celebrating their birthday?" Are you hungry, Mum? Can we have pancakes? It's late.
I'd love some pancakes.
Me too.
Eggs, milk, syrup, baking powder, vanilla Flour! I'm sorry.
Has anyone seen Bobby? I said has anyone seen Bobby?! No.
Or Vanessa? Or Paperback? Right here.
Oh, that's sweet.
You start.
I'll just pop out for a smoke.
My orthodontist was an ex-league player.
Uh, he was huge.
When he was playing, he was known as 'Blood Trough'.
And he'd put his foot on my chest and he'd try and pull my braces off with pliers.
No! Yeah.
And I was 13 and I'd be going, "Arrgh!" And he'd go, "Are you being a poof?" No, just a wimp.
I'd go, "No!" So, my question is, does that sound like a man trained in the dental arts? No.
He was a very good friend of my father's, though.
Oh, shit.
He got his nickname from dentistry, not from his league career.
I could probably sue old Blood Trough for mental distress.
You talk a lot.
Uh, I'm nervous.
I do talk when I'm nervous.
It's good.
I go quiet.
And then I just say abrupt things that pop into my head like, "You talk a lot.
" We might just be perfect for each other.
Yeah, could be.
Oh! Are you OK? Yes, I'm fine.
That is really alcoholic.
Do you want to come home with me? To my home? We can do that.
You Henry, please? Henry, I'm worried.
Antonia is missing.
She's not.
She's just having fun where and how she can.
You can't expect her to sit around all day, playing cards and drinking tea.
I don't.
I feel it.
Something bad is going on.
They're missing.
I thought Antonia was your friend.
She is.
Selfish! Yeah.
Too right I am.
Served me well my whole life too.
Alright! Oh, right.
There you are.
This music's shit, innit? Jesus wept.
So, uh, you alright then? Yeah, I'm fine.
Don't you have a body to invade? Look, Joan was just worried about you.
Oh, what's going to happen, Henry? Am I gonna die? Look, just be careful, OK? Rap! I'm fine.
So, here we are! Is there someone else here? No.
Then who are you yelling to? There's an echo.
I was just showing you.
Cooee! Are you nervous? Yes.
Drink? Should I get us some wine? Or would you like beer? Is that what you'd prefer? I have spirits.
I have some of those.
Whatever you're having.
For a second, I thought it might be a set-up.
You know, husband jumps out of the cupboard and it's a threesome scenario.
William? Wilson? Oh, God.
Where's everybody gone? Mrs Wong? Vanessa? Bobby? Bobby? I think that's Clark Island.
Or is it Shark Island? I can never remember.
See if you can see.
Don't mind me.
Oh! You OK? Is this the one we ordered? Looks a bit different to the catalogue.
Just an electric shock.
That's a that's a good sign, right? Oh, smooth bastard.
Are you alright? Yeah.
Can you just stand there and let me look at you for a moment? Sure.
Lovely eyes.
Are they, um, blue or green? OK.
They're blue, aren't they? I'm not quite sure what you want me to do.
Stand still would help.
Well, you could just stay still.
And and look at this.
Fuck! It's not working.
I am trying.
Try? And make me want you.
Oh, uh It's not working.
Oh, God Goon! Hurry up! Henry? Um you know, I'm not sure this is really my thing.
Uh, maybe I should just go.
Oh, wait.
Come on.
Suze, you should just let him go.
Poor bloke.
You're right.
You should go.
I'll go.
Sorry, mate.
I don't know.
Angelina? Bobby? Bobby? Where's everybody? God! Oh! Hello.
What are you doing? Can you see me? If I'm injured, how can I swim? Because you reach for a whole other level, beyond pain.
Guess who had sex last night? Elvis.
Yeah, gross.
Good for you, stud.
It was great.
She said I was the most sensual lover she'd ever had.
Good for you.
Yeah, I know.
She was lovely, too, you know.
Ohh! I might call her this afternoon.
Do you think that's too soon for? What? Mate, you're welcome.
I'm glad you had a good time.
What? I bought her for you.
$500 an hour.
Happy birthday.
Jesus! You shouldn't have done that, mate.
That was a really mean thing to do.
Good right hand.
So, you've, um, broken the drought, then.
Back on the horse.
You want a coffee? Yeah.
Of course you do.
Great game, Toots.
I love netball.
Me too.
Are you getting out of the car? Mum's home.
We'll be up in a minute.
Is something wrong? I always wondered how you could leave us.
I did what I had to, Jonquil.
And now I realise how you could.
You don't really like us.
Jonquil I just thought you'd I just thought you'd be sorry.
Let's go for a drive.
So how'd it go? Didn't work.
I'm sorry.
Bollocks you are.
No, I am.
I don't know why it worked with Zac but not with this guy.
It's Limitations and rules.
Always pissing me off.
What happened to the body the guy? Poor bloke.
I don't think he really knew what was going on.
There you are.
Ah, thanks.
I must have left it behind in all the excitement/weirdness.
I kind of wasn't myself last night.
Oh, it was the most confusing date I've ever been on.
Yeah, sorry.
You're a nice guy.
Apparently, there aren't many.
Well, goodbye.
Remember it? No.
Oh, you would have been four, I guess, the last time you were here.
I think I remember the tree.
This is where I grew up.
It was my parents' house.
So, you were living here the whole time? I never forgot you.
This was mine.
Ah! You've come home.
Oh I'm sorry.