SpongeBob SquarePants s01e03 Episode Script
Tea at the Treedome
Wow, four stingers.
( buzzing ) Oh! ( girl yelling ) ( yelling ) ( gasps ) ( grunting ) Where have I seen this before? Here it is-- land squirrel.
That little squirrel is in trouble.
Take that, you sorry old clam! You need to learn some manners! You're about as ugly as homemade soup.
Hooray, land squirrel! ( growls ) Look out! ( grunting ) Hold on, little squirrel! ( karate yell ) Ho-ho-ho! Ho-hee! Hoy-ya! You have fought well, giant clam.
Prepare to be vanquished.
( yells, grunting ) Hey, I'm actually doing it.
( grunting ) ( victorious yell ) Your shell is mine! ( grunts ): Hold on there, little square dude.
( karate yell ) ( yells ) ( clam whimpers ) Hey, you like karate, too.
( karate yelling ) Ha! So, what's your name? Sandy.
So, what do you call yourself? ( yelling ): I'm SpongeBob! Well, SpongeBob take a gander at this.
( rumbling, cracking ) Oh.
Oh, yeah? Watch this.
( yells ) ( armpit-farts ) ( giggles ): I like you, SpongeBob.
We could be tighter than bark on a tree.
( karate yells ) Uh, I like you, too, Sandy.
( karate yells ) Yow.
Say, uh, what is that thing on your head? That's my air helmet.
May I try it on? Heck, no.
I need it to breathe.
I got to have my air.
Me, too! I love air.
Air is good.
No kidding? Why, air is my middle name.
The more air, the better.
Can't get enough of that air.
( drawling ): Shoot! How about coming over tomorrow for tea and cookies then? Don't be late.
Okay, see you tomorrow.
Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, Patrick, Patrick! What's air? Huh? I just met this girl.
She wears a hat full of air.
Do you mean she "puts on airs"? I guess so.
That's just fancy talk.
If you want to be fancy, hold your pinky up like this.
The higher you hold it, the fancier you are.
How's that? Higher.
Like that? Now, that's fancy! They should call you SpongeBob FancyPants! Remember, when in doubt, pinky out.
You can do it, SpongeBob.
I'll be watching.
Thanks, pal.
( rings bell ) Hello? Hiya, Sandy.
It's me, SpongeBob.
Hold on a sec, I'll let you in.
( buzzing ) ( whistling ) ( drain gurgling ) ( stifled whistling ) ( blows raspberry ) ( yelling ): Sandy! Open up! Sandy! Sandy! Sandy, something's gone terribly wrong.
There's no water in here.
SANDY: 'Course there's no water.
Nothing but air.
No water? That ain't a problem, is it? ( karate yells ) Problem? ( karate yells ) That's how I like my air.
( inhales deeply ) ( gagging, coughing ) ( weakly ): With no water.
SANDY: Well, all right.
I made Texas tea and cookies.
Well, come on in.
( karate yells ) ( legs squeaking ) That's not in.
In! ( squeaking ) You're a funny little dude.
Come on, I'll give you the grand tour.
So this is my own private little air bubble.
This air is the driest ( gasps ) purest ( gasps ) most airiest air in the whole sea.
Oh, over there is my birdbath.
( chirping cheerily ) And that's my oak tree.
It provides me with extra air.
This dome is made of the strongest polyurethane; that's a fancy name for plastic.
Ain't that just the bee's knees? Tell you what, weren't easy getting here neither.
First, I ( grunting ) ( chirping angrily ) that's my treadmill.
That's how I stay in tiptop shape.
Oh, come on-- let's have that tea now.
( karate yells ) ( gasps ) ( knocking on dome ) Pinky, pinky! ( gasps weakly ) I brought you some flowers.
For me? How sweet! You okay? ( raspily ): Yes.
I'm okay.
You know, you're the first sea critter to ever visit.
I can't imagine why.
Can I get you anything? Water would be nice.
I'm going to put these in a vase.
Take your time.
( wild gasping ) I got to get out of here! SANDY: I like you, SpongeBob.
We could be tighter than bark on a tree.
PATRICK: When in doubt, pinky out.
I don't need water! Water's for quitters! I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I don't need it, I don't need it.
Why, these flowers are just beautiful.
They'll live much, much longer in a vase full of ice-cold water.
So tell me about yourself.
It must be fascinating being a sea critter.
SpongeBob? ( timer dings ) Oh, there's the cookies.
Be right back.
SPONGEBOB ( thinking ): I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I definitely don't need it.
I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I don't need it.
( shouting ): I need it! ( wheezing ) No, SpongeBob! No, no, no! Stop! Pinky, pinky! ( yelling ): I'm a quitter! ( SpongeBob wailing ) You can't leave now.
You'll blow it.
Air is not good, Patrick.
Air is not good.
You're just being shy.
Don't worry, buddy.
You're doing fine.
( panting heavily ) I won't let you blow this.
( wheezing ) ( gagging ) What kind of place is this?! There's no water in here! I tried to tell you! We got to get out of here! You're doing it wrong.
Wait, no, we've got to get out.
( door opens, closes ) Come and get it.
You're all going to like this-- ( shrieks ) ( glasses breaking ) There.
That ought to do it.
If you all needed water, you should have asked.
I propose a toast: To new friends! Hold on a second.
I hope you all like your tea strong.
Drink up! ( both slurping ) ALL: Ah!
( buzzing ) Oh! ( girl yelling ) ( yelling ) ( gasps ) ( grunting ) Where have I seen this before? Here it is-- land squirrel.
That little squirrel is in trouble.
Take that, you sorry old clam! You need to learn some manners! You're about as ugly as homemade soup.
Hooray, land squirrel! ( growls ) Look out! ( grunting ) Hold on, little squirrel! ( karate yell ) Ho-ho-ho! Ho-hee! Hoy-ya! You have fought well, giant clam.
Prepare to be vanquished.
( yells, grunting ) Hey, I'm actually doing it.
( grunting ) ( victorious yell ) Your shell is mine! ( grunts ): Hold on there, little square dude.
( karate yell ) ( yells ) ( clam whimpers ) Hey, you like karate, too.
( karate yelling ) Ha! So, what's your name? Sandy.
So, what do you call yourself? ( yelling ): I'm SpongeBob! Well, SpongeBob take a gander at this.
( rumbling, cracking ) Oh.
Oh, yeah? Watch this.
( yells ) ( armpit-farts ) ( giggles ): I like you, SpongeBob.
We could be tighter than bark on a tree.
( karate yells ) Uh, I like you, too, Sandy.
( karate yells ) Yow.
Say, uh, what is that thing on your head? That's my air helmet.
May I try it on? Heck, no.
I need it to breathe.
I got to have my air.
Me, too! I love air.
Air is good.
No kidding? Why, air is my middle name.
The more air, the better.
Can't get enough of that air.
( drawling ): Shoot! How about coming over tomorrow for tea and cookies then? Don't be late.
Okay, see you tomorrow.
Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, Patrick, Patrick! What's air? Huh? I just met this girl.
She wears a hat full of air.
Do you mean she "puts on airs"? I guess so.
That's just fancy talk.
If you want to be fancy, hold your pinky up like this.
The higher you hold it, the fancier you are.
How's that? Higher.
Like that? Now, that's fancy! They should call you SpongeBob FancyPants! Remember, when in doubt, pinky out.
You can do it, SpongeBob.
I'll be watching.
Thanks, pal.
( rings bell ) Hello? Hiya, Sandy.
It's me, SpongeBob.
Hold on a sec, I'll let you in.
( buzzing ) ( whistling ) ( drain gurgling ) ( stifled whistling ) ( blows raspberry ) ( yelling ): Sandy! Open up! Sandy! Sandy! Sandy, something's gone terribly wrong.
There's no water in here.
SANDY: 'Course there's no water.
Nothing but air.
No water? That ain't a problem, is it? ( karate yells ) Problem? ( karate yells ) That's how I like my air.
( inhales deeply ) ( gagging, coughing ) ( weakly ): With no water.
SANDY: Well, all right.
I made Texas tea and cookies.
Well, come on in.
( karate yells ) ( legs squeaking ) That's not in.
In! ( squeaking ) You're a funny little dude.
Come on, I'll give you the grand tour.
So this is my own private little air bubble.
This air is the driest ( gasps ) purest ( gasps ) most airiest air in the whole sea.
Oh, over there is my birdbath.
( chirping cheerily ) And that's my oak tree.
It provides me with extra air.
This dome is made of the strongest polyurethane; that's a fancy name for plastic.
Ain't that just the bee's knees? Tell you what, weren't easy getting here neither.
First, I ( grunting ) ( chirping angrily ) that's my treadmill.
That's how I stay in tiptop shape.
Oh, come on-- let's have that tea now.
( karate yells ) ( gasps ) ( knocking on dome ) Pinky, pinky! ( gasps weakly ) I brought you some flowers.
For me? How sweet! You okay? ( raspily ): Yes.
I'm okay.
You know, you're the first sea critter to ever visit.
I can't imagine why.
Can I get you anything? Water would be nice.
I'm going to put these in a vase.
Take your time.
( wild gasping ) I got to get out of here! SANDY: I like you, SpongeBob.
We could be tighter than bark on a tree.
PATRICK: When in doubt, pinky out.
I don't need water! Water's for quitters! I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I don't need it, I don't need it.
Why, these flowers are just beautiful.
They'll live much, much longer in a vase full of ice-cold water.
So tell me about yourself.
It must be fascinating being a sea critter.
SpongeBob? ( timer dings ) Oh, there's the cookies.
Be right back.
SPONGEBOB ( thinking ): I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I definitely don't need it.
I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I don't need it.
( shouting ): I need it! ( wheezing ) No, SpongeBob! No, no, no! Stop! Pinky, pinky! ( yelling ): I'm a quitter! ( SpongeBob wailing ) You can't leave now.
You'll blow it.
Air is not good, Patrick.
Air is not good.
You're just being shy.
Don't worry, buddy.
You're doing fine.
( panting heavily ) I won't let you blow this.
( wheezing ) ( gagging ) What kind of place is this?! There's no water in here! I tried to tell you! We got to get out of here! You're doing it wrong.
Wait, no, we've got to get out.
( door opens, closes ) Come and get it.
You're all going to like this-- ( shrieks ) ( glasses breaking ) There.
That ought to do it.
If you all needed water, you should have asked.
I propose a toast: To new friends! Hold on a second.
I hope you all like your tea strong.
Drink up! ( both slurping ) ALL: Ah!