SpongeBob SquarePants s01e04 Episode Script

Bubblestand

( inhales deeply ) Ah What a wonderful day.
The sun is out, the water is shimmering, ( chirping ) scallops are chirping.
So peaceful.
Can we lower the volume, please! I can't work with all that racket going on.
Oh, sure thing, Squidward.
( mutters ): Right, hmm.
Okay.
( taps lightly ) And now for some soothing sounds from Squidward's clarinet.
Thank you, thank you.
( inhales loudly ) ( playing simple melody offkey ) ( banging noisily ) I thought I! Huh? Hey, Squidward, want to blow some bubbles? Only 25 cents.
Oh, right, like I would spend a moment of my time blowing bubbles.
Uh-huh.
Oh, please! I mean, who in the world would pay to blow bubbles? Good morning.
( gasps, then shouts ) Oh, boy.
Good morning to you, sir.
Would you care to blow a bubble? Oh, how much is it? Only a quarter.
Sounds reasonable.
( quietly ): Uh I'm going to need to borrow a quarter.
Sure thing, Patrick.
Ah! One quarter.
Thank you.
( mutters ) Business is booming.
( laughs ) How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors? ( plays squeaky jazz melody ) One bubble wand, dipped and ready to go.
Ooh! ( inhales loudly ) ( lips sputtering ) ( sputtering continues ) ( glass shatters ) ( sputtering continues ) ( coughs and wheezes ) ( sputters ) ( Patrick pants and sputters ) ( panting ) Could I interest you in some lessons? Only 25 cents.
Uh very well, then.
Hey, Sponge, can I borrow another quarter? Thanks.
Okay, Patrick, it's all in the technique.
First go like this.
Spin around-- stop! Double-take three times-- one, two, three.
Then pelvic thrust! Whoo! Whoo! Stop on your right foot.
Don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town.
Bring it around town.
Then you do this then this and this, then that and this and that and this and then ( puffs gently ) ( air puffs again, then again ) ( popping "quacks" ) Ooh! Ah! ( guffaws ) Ah! ( guffaws ) Oh! ( foghorn blows ) Huh? And now with two hands.
( Patrick guffaws ) It's a giraffe.
( Patrick guffaws uncontrollably ) ( guffawing continues ) ( elephant trumpets ) ( grunts ) ( tentacles squirming ) Excuse me, sir, but we are close Don't give me any of that.
How could you two possibly make all this noise just blowing bubbles? We're not just blowing bubbles; we're making bubble art.
Watch carefully.
First go like this.
Spin around-- stop! Double-take three times-- one, two, three.
Then pelvic thrust! Whoo! Whoo! Stop on your right foot.
Don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town.
Bring it around town.
Then you do this, then this and this, then that and this and that and this and then ( puffs gently ) That's not art.
That's just annoying.
Blowing bubbles.
That's the lamest idea I have ever heard.
SQUIDWARD: You should be ashamed of yourself.
( chuckles ): Bubbles.
( chuckles, mutters ) Art.
Bubbles.
( mutters ): Ridiculous.
( sniffs ) ( inhales deeply ) That'll be 25 cents, sir.
Aah! Whoa! What? Oh! Who would pay 25 cents to blow bubbles?! We also offer lessons for beginners.
Beginners? What could be more simple than blowing a stupid bubble? Here's your 25 cents.
Watch and learn.
( blows ) Uh wait, wait, wait.
( blows ) One more time.
Here, wait, wait.
( inhales deeply ) ( sputters ) ( makes raspberry sound ) ( yelps ) Whoa! ( both whistle ) Aah, just a mere warm-up.
( sputters ) ( raspberry ) Hey, Squidward, remember the technique.
Technique-- you do this and this.
Step back.
PATRICK: Technique, Squidward.
Spin around like this.
Over here.
One, two, yeah, three The pelvic whoo! ( sputters ) Don't for don't forget the "whoo"! PATRICK: Listen to Sponge.
SPONGEBOB: Technique! Technique! Technique! Technique! Technique! Technique! Technique! Technique! Tech You're not doing the technique.
Technique?! Technique?! Technique, technique, technique, technique, technique! First I do this.
Spin around, stop.
Double-take three times.
And here we go, pelvic thrust.
Whoo! Whoo! Oh, stop on your right foot.
Don't forget it! Then bring it around town.
And a little of this, a little of that.
( screams ): A little of this, this, that, that, that, that, that, then ( screaming maniacally ) Wow! Wow! All right, Squid! That was so good! Squid is number one.
I really did it, didn't I? Yeah-- you guys didn't blow anything like that.
SPONGEBOB: Nope.
Now, that's a bubble.
You said it, Squidward.
See, it is all in the technique.
Yeah, technique.
Technique? Huh! SpongeBob, you don't think I created that ( kisses noisily ) beautiful work of art with your help.
( cackles ) Come on, it's in my genes.
( chanting ): Squid's got genes.
Squid's got genes Thank you, thank you, thank you.
( clarinet playing snazzy tune ) ( playing in tune ) BOTH: Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward Squidward, Squidward, Squidward BOTH: Squidward, Squidward I rock.
Squidward, Squidward Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squid, Squid, Squidward! Squid, Squid, Squidward! Squid, Squid, Squidward! Squid, Squid, Squidward! PATRICK: Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward Squidward ( grunts ) Squidward! BOTH: Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! ( plays final notes to melody ) Hello, my friends.
You are looking at a BOTH ( shouting ): Squidward! Genius.
( bubble pops, air sputters, ocean rumbles ) Wow! Wow! ( clarinet plays squeaky notes )