SpongeBob SquarePants s01e12 Episode Script
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy
ANNOUNCER: Mermaidman.
Fleet and forceful.
With the ability to assemble and charge the creatures of the deep.
By the power of Neptune.
Mermaidman, with his young associate Barnacleboy fights for all creatures that live in the sea.
Against the forces of evil.
Oh, no! The raging whirlpool.
Mermaidman-- champion of the deep.
TOGETHER: Yeah! Champion of the deep.
Whoo! Come on, Barnacleboy, there's evil afoot.
Leapin' lampreys, Mermaidman.
I'm right behind you.
SPONGEBOB: Mermaidman and Barnacleboy spot their arch enemy-- Reflecto, up to no good.
SpongeBob.
You know what this means.
Doughnuts.
Ooh.
By the power of Neptune.
TOGETHER: Mermaidman and Barnacleboy, unite! Creatures of the deep assemble.
( both grunting ) Harder, Barnacleboy.
Here they come.
( buzzing ) Blast! Reflecto has become too powerful.
What the Oh! If Reflecto is cut off from sunlight, he becomes weak.
Jumpin' jellyfish, Mermaidman.
He's destroying the shield! ( muttering ) Oh! Quick, Barnacleboy.
Back to the seacave.
Right, Mermaidman.
SpongeBob! SpongeBob, open up.
Reflecto has found our secret lab.
What would the real Mermaidman do? Why don't you ask him yourself? Elaborate, you vile fiend.
He and Barnacleboy live in the retirement home on the other side of town.
Hmm.
They must be working undercover.
Yeah, now please leave me alone.
TOGETHER: Mermaidman and Barnacleboy, reunite! Excuse me.
I know Mermaidman is working undercover on an important case but do you think we could see him? Undercover? Yeah, well, I'll see if they can take time from their busy schedule to see you.
( laughing excitedly ) There they are.
Right over there.
( happily gasping ) Try not to surprise them.
Patrick, can you believe it? Mermaidman and Barnacleboy in the flesh.
Hey, who are those guys? Are they here to fix the TV? ( nervous chattering ) What do you want? Are you Mermaidman and Barnacleboy? Well, we used to be, but now we're retired.
( gasping together ) But you can't retire.
There's evil afoot.
What evil! Evil! Ooh! Barnacleboy! Don't forget there's evil! All I said was there's evil afoot.
Evil! Eee eee Would you please stop saying that? Evil.
Evil, evil, evil, evil.
Oh! Disgrace! ( door slams shut ) Wow! Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.
It's too bad they're old.
What do you mean, Patrick? Old people are the greatest.
They're full of wisdom and experience.
( ting ) The world needs Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.
Someone, somewhere is in trouble and I won't rest until Mermaidman and Barnacleboy are out of retirement.
( fireworks ) Ooh, pretty lights.
To the meatloaf.
To the broccoli.
Make sure you give extra broccoli to my young ward.
The boy needs his vitamins.
Here you go, son.
( snickering ) To the table-- away! Careful, don't run.
Hey, Mermaidman.
Hey, here comes the TV Repairman.
What do you want from us? Hold on.
Just let me look at you.
Stay alert, Barnacleboy.
He's, he's up to something.
Would you stop calling me boy? Do you remember the time the food supply in Atlantis was running low? So you invented a ray gun that made things grow six times their size to shoot at the kelp gardens.
But then, the evil man ray swoops down and swipes the gun away and shoots all the algae.
( imitating ray gun ) And he gloms onto the undersea dome and he starts sucking on the glass.
What's your point, kid? You guys are the greatest heroes of all time.
And I think you should come out of retirement.
Listen up, you villains.
I want to eat my meatloaf.
If you don't get out of here, then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife.
What is going on in here? You may kiss the bride.
( wedding march playing ) Did you reunite our heroes? No, but I'm married.
Up, up and away.
Up, up and away.
( southern accent: ) Oh, my.
This purse is so big and heavy.
Hold it right there, ma'am.
I'll be taking that.
Oh! Help! Help! Help! It's working.
Why are you here to rescue little old me? Pipe down! You're going to wake Mermaidman and he's ornery when his nap is disturbed.
Ever alert Mermaidman has trained himself to sleep with his eyes open.
Confound it, get away from him.
Stop shouting! I'm napping.
It's not me, you old coot.
Yes That's me.
I'm over here.
( bickering ) Excuse me.
Mermaidman.
What do you want? This better be good.
This will cheer you up.
We're almost done painting your invisible boat mobile.
It's supposed to be invisible! That's it! We got to end our life of leisure.
It's time to come out of retirement.
There's evil afoot! Evil! Where is it? There it is.
Do you know what this means? Doughnuts.
Oh, brother.
( music starts and fades out ) ( music starts and fades out ) Say the oath.
Mermaidman and Barnacleboy, unite! ( music starts again and tune finishes ) Throw a water ball at him.
TOGETHER: Water balls! Water balls! Yeah! ( laughing ) Mumbling morays! It's not working, Mermaidman.
He's absorbing it like some kind of evil sponge.
TOGETHER: Dog paddle away! It's the raging whirlpool! ( SpongeBob and Patrick cheering ) You fiends.
They're actually enjoying it! ( screaming in delight ) TOGETHER: Do it again! Do it again! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Do it again! Now what, Mermaidman? We need help.
TOGETHER: Sea creatures, unite.
Huh! What! ( all mumbling and chattering ) Hmm, the creatures of the deep seem to have lost some of their luster.
Sea creatures, attack! Pinch me.
I must be dreaming.
( all mumbling and chattering ) Mission accomplished, Patrick.
Yeah, we did it.
I did it.
I feel five years younger.
Oh, it's good to be back.
We did it, you old coot.
Who are you? ANNOUNCER: The New Adventures of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.
We join our heroes locked in a battle of wits.
( dolphin chattering ) It's the aqua phone.
What is it, chief? ( voice chattering on line) Hello, hello? Hello? That phone is still broken.
Remind me to get that fixed.
Remind you what? Remind me of what? Will our heroes ever get their phone fixed? Tune in next week and find out.
Wow, that was even better than the old show.
It's all thanks to you!
Fleet and forceful.
With the ability to assemble and charge the creatures of the deep.
By the power of Neptune.
Mermaidman, with his young associate Barnacleboy fights for all creatures that live in the sea.
Against the forces of evil.
Oh, no! The raging whirlpool.
Mermaidman-- champion of the deep.
TOGETHER: Yeah! Champion of the deep.
Whoo! Come on, Barnacleboy, there's evil afoot.
Leapin' lampreys, Mermaidman.
I'm right behind you.
SPONGEBOB: Mermaidman and Barnacleboy spot their arch enemy-- Reflecto, up to no good.
SpongeBob.
You know what this means.
Doughnuts.
Ooh.
By the power of Neptune.
TOGETHER: Mermaidman and Barnacleboy, unite! Creatures of the deep assemble.
( both grunting ) Harder, Barnacleboy.
Here they come.
( buzzing ) Blast! Reflecto has become too powerful.
What the Oh! If Reflecto is cut off from sunlight, he becomes weak.
Jumpin' jellyfish, Mermaidman.
He's destroying the shield! ( muttering ) Oh! Quick, Barnacleboy.
Back to the seacave.
Right, Mermaidman.
SpongeBob! SpongeBob, open up.
Reflecto has found our secret lab.
What would the real Mermaidman do? Why don't you ask him yourself? Elaborate, you vile fiend.
He and Barnacleboy live in the retirement home on the other side of town.
Hmm.
They must be working undercover.
Yeah, now please leave me alone.
TOGETHER: Mermaidman and Barnacleboy, reunite! Excuse me.
I know Mermaidman is working undercover on an important case but do you think we could see him? Undercover? Yeah, well, I'll see if they can take time from their busy schedule to see you.
( laughing excitedly ) There they are.
Right over there.
( happily gasping ) Try not to surprise them.
Patrick, can you believe it? Mermaidman and Barnacleboy in the flesh.
Hey, who are those guys? Are they here to fix the TV? ( nervous chattering ) What do you want? Are you Mermaidman and Barnacleboy? Well, we used to be, but now we're retired.
( gasping together ) But you can't retire.
There's evil afoot.
What evil! Evil! Ooh! Barnacleboy! Don't forget there's evil! All I said was there's evil afoot.
Evil! Eee eee Would you please stop saying that? Evil.
Evil, evil, evil, evil.
Oh! Disgrace! ( door slams shut ) Wow! Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.
It's too bad they're old.
What do you mean, Patrick? Old people are the greatest.
They're full of wisdom and experience.
( ting ) The world needs Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.
Someone, somewhere is in trouble and I won't rest until Mermaidman and Barnacleboy are out of retirement.
( fireworks ) Ooh, pretty lights.
To the meatloaf.
To the broccoli.
Make sure you give extra broccoli to my young ward.
The boy needs his vitamins.
Here you go, son.
( snickering ) To the table-- away! Careful, don't run.
Hey, Mermaidman.
Hey, here comes the TV Repairman.
What do you want from us? Hold on.
Just let me look at you.
Stay alert, Barnacleboy.
He's, he's up to something.
Would you stop calling me boy? Do you remember the time the food supply in Atlantis was running low? So you invented a ray gun that made things grow six times their size to shoot at the kelp gardens.
But then, the evil man ray swoops down and swipes the gun away and shoots all the algae.
( imitating ray gun ) And he gloms onto the undersea dome and he starts sucking on the glass.
What's your point, kid? You guys are the greatest heroes of all time.
And I think you should come out of retirement.
Listen up, you villains.
I want to eat my meatloaf.
If you don't get out of here, then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife.
What is going on in here? You may kiss the bride.
( wedding march playing ) Did you reunite our heroes? No, but I'm married.
Up, up and away.
Up, up and away.
( southern accent: ) Oh, my.
This purse is so big and heavy.
Hold it right there, ma'am.
I'll be taking that.
Oh! Help! Help! Help! It's working.
Why are you here to rescue little old me? Pipe down! You're going to wake Mermaidman and he's ornery when his nap is disturbed.
Ever alert Mermaidman has trained himself to sleep with his eyes open.
Confound it, get away from him.
Stop shouting! I'm napping.
It's not me, you old coot.
Yes That's me.
I'm over here.
( bickering ) Excuse me.
Mermaidman.
What do you want? This better be good.
This will cheer you up.
We're almost done painting your invisible boat mobile.
It's supposed to be invisible! That's it! We got to end our life of leisure.
It's time to come out of retirement.
There's evil afoot! Evil! Where is it? There it is.
Do you know what this means? Doughnuts.
Oh, brother.
( music starts and fades out ) ( music starts and fades out ) Say the oath.
Mermaidman and Barnacleboy, unite! ( music starts again and tune finishes ) Throw a water ball at him.
TOGETHER: Water balls! Water balls! Yeah! ( laughing ) Mumbling morays! It's not working, Mermaidman.
He's absorbing it like some kind of evil sponge.
TOGETHER: Dog paddle away! It's the raging whirlpool! ( SpongeBob and Patrick cheering ) You fiends.
They're actually enjoying it! ( screaming in delight ) TOGETHER: Do it again! Do it again! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Do it again! Now what, Mermaidman? We need help.
TOGETHER: Sea creatures, unite.
Huh! What! ( all mumbling and chattering ) Hmm, the creatures of the deep seem to have lost some of their luster.
Sea creatures, attack! Pinch me.
I must be dreaming.
( all mumbling and chattering ) Mission accomplished, Patrick.
Yeah, we did it.
I did it.
I feel five years younger.
Oh, it's good to be back.
We did it, you old coot.
Who are you? ANNOUNCER: The New Adventures of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.
We join our heroes locked in a battle of wits.
( dolphin chattering ) It's the aqua phone.
What is it, chief? ( voice chattering on line) Hello, hello? Hello? That phone is still broken.
Remind me to get that fixed.
Remind you what? Remind me of what? Will our heroes ever get their phone fixed? Tune in next week and find out.
Wow, that was even better than the old show.
It's all thanks to you!