SpongeBob SquarePants s03e02 Episode Script
Spongeguard On Duty
S03E02 - Spongeguard On Duty Ah, Goo Lagoon.
Where the sun is hot and the sunbathers are oh so cool.
What a beautiful day.
You said it, pal.
Can you believe that sun? I could look at it all day.
Uhh, Patrick? What? Nothing.
So, howâs that tan coming? I donât know.
Let me check.
Looking good.
Howâs yours? Just a minute, Ah! I could have sworn I was laying on my back.
Hey, itâs Larry, the lifeguard.
Mr Lifeguard, can I feel your muscle? Sure.
Donât scratch the paint.
Lifeguard, hows the tubage? Gnarly, dudes! All right, yeah! Woohoo! Lifeguard, can you point out the snack bar? Right over there.
But you guys are way too old and unsightly for my beach.
And Iâm afraid Iâm going to have to ask you to leave.
So polite.
Just like we raised him.
What a guy.
Is it any wonder heâs so popular? Just imagine if I were a lifeguard.
That would be so cool.
Oh, what do you want to be a lifeguard for? Nobody really likes those guys.
Being a lifeguard is so dumb.
All they do is blow, blow, blow on their stupid whistles, rub, rub, rub that white stuff on their noses and show off their gross misshapen bodies! Dude, put that thing away.
There are, like, children here.
Iâm going to the snack bar.
Who needs to be a lifeguard? Iâm cool.
Iâm every bit as cool as Larry.
And if Im not, let me be struck by a flying ice cream truck.
And live! Please do not land flying ice cream trucks on the bathers.
SpongeBob, you OK? Hey! I didnt know you were a lifeguard.
Lifeguard? The nose.
White stuff.
You think I'm a lifeguard? Sure, theres no hiding the lifeguard look,SpongeBob, and youâve got it.
You really think so? You bet I do.
Say, weâre a little shorthanded around here.
How would you like to work the beach? I'd love it! Alright.
Leave that on the bench, Kahuna.
Hey, Annette, come here.
I want you to meet my buddy, SpongeBob.
Hi.
Hey, that guy's a lifeguard.
It works.
Woohoo! That was the greatest, Larry.
Yeah.
Say, howd you like to take the second shift? By myself? Only if you think youâre ready.
Iâm not just ready.
Iâm ready, Freddie.
It's Larry.
Well, I guess 'Ill just Help, help! Help, help, help! Weâve got a sinker! SpongeBob, let me take this.
I havenât seen any action all day.
Action? Breathe, darn you! That's the last time I read and swim.
You saved my life.
Don't mention it.
Itâs all part of the job.
You know, SpongeBob, the babes and the big chair are great, but the best part is knowing youâre the only thing that stands between these good people and a watery grave.
And that's what its all about.
Their lives are in your hands now, cause I got a date with the tanning boob.
See ya.
But I canât swim.
Oh, if Id known being a lifeguard meant guarding their lives, I would never have said yes.
Maybe nothing will go wrong.
Then when Larry comes back, I'll tell him Iâm not interested.
Besides, what's the worst that could happen? Emergency! Everybody out of the water! Hurry! Emergency! Out of the water! Emergency! Uhh there are sharks in there! Hey, thatâs my family youâre talking about.
A sea monster! You know, we sea monsters have made great strides in the fields of science and literature.
Uhh, somebody went? No, donât go! Free ice cream! Plenty for everybody.
One for you, one for you OK everybody got one? A-ha, now I got ya! Now, you all have to wait one hour before you go swimming.
But just so youâre not tempted Ladies and gentlemen, the lagoon is closed.
We like Larry better.
Does Larry ever give you free ice cream? Ice cream! Did somebody say ice cream? Where is it? Is it here? Huh? Ice cream, yay! Cramp! Holy cow, somebodys drowning! Oh, no, thats not possible.
The lagoon is closed.
Dude, get your butt in the water.
If there was anyone in there, weâd hear them.
Help, help! I can't swim! Somebody would be screaming that theyâre drowning I'm drowning! I'm drowning! They would have to have crossed the line.
I'm drowning cause I crossed the line! OK, Iâll take a look, but just to prove to you that Patrick isn't drowning! Can't swim! Butt hurts! Ice cream! Hold on, Patrick! I'm coming! Help, help! Don't move! Catch this! Quit fooling around, man.
Get in the water.
Help, help! Oh, what am I going to do? Got to think.
Gotta think.
Gotta run around and think.
Gotta think, gotta have a plan.
Gotta think, think, think.
Iâve got it! Patrick can't drown if there isnât any water.
Well, youâre safe now, Patrick.
Help, Im drowning! Iâve got butt cramps! I want ice cream and now its dark! Help, help! Help me, Im drowning! Help! To us.
Sorry.
Here's your hotdog.
Ok, Patrick, here I come.
Come, come round, Pat.
Here I am.
Oh, sorry.
Help! Help us! Weâre drowning! Goodbye, Patrick.
Goodbye, ice cream.
SpongeBob? Yes, Larry? You're not a lifeguard, are you? No, Larry.
Lets go, guys.
Very good.
You fellas are learning fast.
Ow, butt cramps! And I still donât have my ice cream.
Where the sun is hot and the sunbathers are oh so cool.
What a beautiful day.
You said it, pal.
Can you believe that sun? I could look at it all day.
Uhh, Patrick? What? Nothing.
So, howâs that tan coming? I donât know.
Let me check.
Looking good.
Howâs yours? Just a minute, Ah! I could have sworn I was laying on my back.
Hey, itâs Larry, the lifeguard.
Mr Lifeguard, can I feel your muscle? Sure.
Donât scratch the paint.
Lifeguard, hows the tubage? Gnarly, dudes! All right, yeah! Woohoo! Lifeguard, can you point out the snack bar? Right over there.
But you guys are way too old and unsightly for my beach.
And Iâm afraid Iâm going to have to ask you to leave.
So polite.
Just like we raised him.
What a guy.
Is it any wonder heâs so popular? Just imagine if I were a lifeguard.
That would be so cool.
Oh, what do you want to be a lifeguard for? Nobody really likes those guys.
Being a lifeguard is so dumb.
All they do is blow, blow, blow on their stupid whistles, rub, rub, rub that white stuff on their noses and show off their gross misshapen bodies! Dude, put that thing away.
There are, like, children here.
Iâm going to the snack bar.
Who needs to be a lifeguard? Iâm cool.
Iâm every bit as cool as Larry.
And if Im not, let me be struck by a flying ice cream truck.
And live! Please do not land flying ice cream trucks on the bathers.
SpongeBob, you OK? Hey! I didnt know you were a lifeguard.
Lifeguard? The nose.
White stuff.
You think I'm a lifeguard? Sure, theres no hiding the lifeguard look,SpongeBob, and youâve got it.
You really think so? You bet I do.
Say, weâre a little shorthanded around here.
How would you like to work the beach? I'd love it! Alright.
Leave that on the bench, Kahuna.
Hey, Annette, come here.
I want you to meet my buddy, SpongeBob.
Hi.
Hey, that guy's a lifeguard.
It works.
Woohoo! That was the greatest, Larry.
Yeah.
Say, howd you like to take the second shift? By myself? Only if you think youâre ready.
Iâm not just ready.
Iâm ready, Freddie.
It's Larry.
Well, I guess 'Ill just Help, help! Help, help, help! Weâve got a sinker! SpongeBob, let me take this.
I havenât seen any action all day.
Action? Breathe, darn you! That's the last time I read and swim.
You saved my life.
Don't mention it.
Itâs all part of the job.
You know, SpongeBob, the babes and the big chair are great, but the best part is knowing youâre the only thing that stands between these good people and a watery grave.
And that's what its all about.
Their lives are in your hands now, cause I got a date with the tanning boob.
See ya.
But I canât swim.
Oh, if Id known being a lifeguard meant guarding their lives, I would never have said yes.
Maybe nothing will go wrong.
Then when Larry comes back, I'll tell him Iâm not interested.
Besides, what's the worst that could happen? Emergency! Everybody out of the water! Hurry! Emergency! Out of the water! Emergency! Uhh there are sharks in there! Hey, thatâs my family youâre talking about.
A sea monster! You know, we sea monsters have made great strides in the fields of science and literature.
Uhh, somebody went? No, donât go! Free ice cream! Plenty for everybody.
One for you, one for you OK everybody got one? A-ha, now I got ya! Now, you all have to wait one hour before you go swimming.
But just so youâre not tempted Ladies and gentlemen, the lagoon is closed.
We like Larry better.
Does Larry ever give you free ice cream? Ice cream! Did somebody say ice cream? Where is it? Is it here? Huh? Ice cream, yay! Cramp! Holy cow, somebodys drowning! Oh, no, thats not possible.
The lagoon is closed.
Dude, get your butt in the water.
If there was anyone in there, weâd hear them.
Help, help! I can't swim! Somebody would be screaming that theyâre drowning I'm drowning! I'm drowning! They would have to have crossed the line.
I'm drowning cause I crossed the line! OK, Iâll take a look, but just to prove to you that Patrick isn't drowning! Can't swim! Butt hurts! Ice cream! Hold on, Patrick! I'm coming! Help, help! Don't move! Catch this! Quit fooling around, man.
Get in the water.
Help, help! Oh, what am I going to do? Got to think.
Gotta think.
Gotta run around and think.
Gotta think, gotta have a plan.
Gotta think, think, think.
Iâve got it! Patrick can't drown if there isnât any water.
Well, youâre safe now, Patrick.
Help, Im drowning! Iâve got butt cramps! I want ice cream and now its dark! Help, help! Help me, Im drowning! Help! To us.
Sorry.
Here's your hotdog.
Ok, Patrick, here I come.
Come, come round, Pat.
Here I am.
Oh, sorry.
Help! Help us! Weâre drowning! Goodbye, Patrick.
Goodbye, ice cream.
SpongeBob? Yes, Larry? You're not a lifeguard, are you? No, Larry.
Lets go, guys.
Very good.
You fellas are learning fast.
Ow, butt cramps! And I still donât have my ice cream.