Sports Night (1998) s02e19 Episode Script

April is the Cruelest Month

Dana: This is idiotic!|Bert: Dana.
This is idiotic, and I'll|tell you what else -- this is no way|to run a network! -- Don't call me idiotic.
|-- Bert No, I'm a full-grown adult,|lady, and I've heard about you|at these meetings.
I am not other people.
|I am the network CFO.
This is not slow-pitch softball,|Bert, it's the Olympics, and whatever you might think|of my decorum, what I'm doing right now|is my job! I understand, Dana, but unless|you can point to the tree upon|which money is growing -- This sucks.
A casual observer|would never guess you were from|a good family, Dana.
Hey, let's leave families|out of -- This is happening|every week, lsaac.
Not every week.
Every damn week we're looking for change under sofa cushions! Meanwhile, Luther Sachs has just cashed a $740 million bonus! -- Dana|-- Newsweek says he's one of the five highest-paid CEOs in the country, and you're still cutting back|on Olympic coverage?! -- Yes.
|-- So I'm asking -- -- what's going on?|-- We reviewed the budget.
A budget that was approved eight months ago! It went through|the normal review process at the network level and was sent up|to the corporate level.
Oh, I like the sound|of this.
Dana, a budget that calls|for a 34-man team in Sydney is overly ambitious.
Well, God forbid|we be ambitious! Let's dial down|the volume a bit.
And, Ray, Bert, I got to say that|cutting down from 34 to 12 is off-the-charts|ludicrous.
Isaac, CSC's gonna close|a deal with Austech.
Austech? It's an Australian|carrier.
-- What kind of deal?|-- Austech shares|production costs in Sydney and supplies|supplementary manpower.
-- What do we do?|-- Wraparound.
-- Wraparound?|-- Yeah.
For a refreshing|change of pace? That'll be exciting|for us.
We're not here to keep you|interested, Dana.
However, we do|keep you employed, so, as long as we do,|please watch your mouth.
Isaac: Bert, I'm more steamed|about this than Dana is, so bring it over here.
For instance, why are you|in this meeting? I'm in it because|I'm in it, lsaac.
Well, that answer is far from|satisfactory to me 'cause I think you'd agree|that it's unusual that you'd play|a hands-on role in -- Finance is going to be playing|more of a hands-on role|in CSC operations.
-- Well, that's good news,|-- Isaac.
'cause it's the sensitive|hand of finance that always leads|to prizewinning coverage.
Your prizewinning coverage|is racking up deficits to the tune|of $120 million a year.
You want to cut me a check, we can end all this|right here.
How's it gonna work? Austech works out|of their studio in Melbourne.
They've got another facility|in Sydney.
They're hardwired|into your earpiece.
Can I ask why they need|any producers at all? -- They don't.
|-- What? Ray just said they don't.
If you look through the budget,|you'll see traveling staff is limited to on-air|and support.
-- Are you --|-- Dana, are you telling me|you'd produce better coverage if you were sitting in the back|of a truck in Sydney? Yes, I'm telling you that.
Sydney is where|the Olympics are.
Folks, this is not|a town-hall meeting.
I'm telling you|the way it is.
Live with it,|don't live with it.
Either way,|I've got a lunch.
Nice to see you, lsaac.
It's gonna be great.
You're gonna love|the footage from Austech.
Get out.
It's gonna be fine.
[ Sighs ] Is there any chance they're just talking|about the Olympics? No.
-- They're talking about|production?|-- Yep.
-- Promotion?|-- Yeah.
So they're talking|about losing people.
They're not talking|about it.
-- Do me a favor.
|-- What? Keep it to yourself.
[ Chuckles ] That was funny|what you said before about the prizewinning|coverage.
You do this job|for a lifetime, and you do get|a sense of humor.
Want a drink? It's noon.
-- Hey.
|-- Hey, Jeremy.
I didn't know anyone was using the room.
I'm just doing|the A.
I can pick it up later|if you want.
-- No.
|-- You sure? Yeah.
So, it's Passover.
Yeah, I know.
|I'd have known anyway from being 28|and looking at a calendar, but my mother called me|this morning just in case.
You doing anything? Well, we've got|the two shows.
Yeah, well, I'm,|you know, just -- What? I'm just, uh --|Elliot, Will, and l are doing a little something|between shows.
A Seder? It's not gonna be a big deal.
We're just gonna break|some matzo, say a prayer.
That's great.
-- You want to come?|-- Yeah.
-- It's not gonna|be a big deal.
|-- Let's make it a big deal.
No, I want to keep it small.
I don't want to make a lot|of noise about it.
-- I understand --|quiet, understated.
|-- Yeah.
-- I'll go write|the pageant.
|-- The pageant? There are sections of the|Haggadah that, quite frankly,|could use a polish.
You're gonna do a rewrite|on the Haggadah? It's not written in stone,|Danny.
Actually, some of it is.
Now, I'll need a company|of players.
Who's coming? Well, me, you, Elliot, Will|pretty much represent the Jewish population|around here.
Let's throw open|our doors.
-- You think?|-- Yeah.
Passover's about the telling of a great story|to those who've never heard it.
Usually it's small children,|but, you know, gentiles will do.
[ Chuckles ] All right, well,|ask whoever you want, but I don't think anybody's|gonna want to be there.
-- Why not?|-- 'Cause I'm gonna be there.
-- Dan, it wasn't that bad.
|-- It was.
-- No, it wasn't.
|-- You're not Casey.
Casey's gonna forgive you.
|Everyone else already has.
Anyway, between shows.
|I took care of the food.
Well, then all that's left is|for me to organize production.
Ask Casey.
Go away.
-- Ask Casey.
|-- Go away now.
I would like to see|the following things -- I would like to see|our feed from Toronto|on any even-numbered monitor, I would like to hear|a sound test at Shea, -- and I would like someone|to feel my forehead.
|Dave: Natalie -- -- Elliot, feel my forehead.
|-- Are you sick? She's not sick.
-- Oh, I believe I'm coming|down with something.
|-- What? Dave: Don't encourage her.
|Will: The picture's up on four.
-- Will, give me your hand.
|-- I just ate a sticky bun.
Okay, then don't|give me your hand.
You'll have to trust me.
|I'm burning up.
Dave: Natalie.
|-- Olympic fever, baby! -- Oh, God.
|-- Catch it! -- I thought there was something|really wrong with her.
|-- Well, you be the judge.
-- Hey.
|-- I've got the fever, Jeremy.
|I'm hot.
-- Yeah?|-- I cannot be stopped.
Keep cobalt-2|on a standby.
Sound 1 0's|on a flat roll.
What do you need? Dan and I are making a Seder|between the shows.
-- Will and l|are already there.
|-- Yeah.
-- And the rest of you|are invited, too.
|-- I'm not Jewish.
Yeah, I dated you|for a year and a half.
Right up until the day|I broke up with you.
An event that occurred|just moments after l|broke up with you, but it's Passover,|and I digress.
That's pretty unusual|for you.
Hey, just the kind of festive|wit I'm looking for.
This is a universal Seder, and you'll be playing|evil Pharaoh.
-- Thanks.
|-- You bet.
-- We're playing roles?|-- Jeremy: Yeah.
Like in a play? -- Exactly like that, Will.
|-- Cool! Let me tell you something,|Erickson can pitch.
Who am I playing? You're playing Pharaoh's|assistant Maggie.
-- There's someone named|Maggie in the Haggadah?|-- There is now.
All right,|I'm locking the Chyron.
Olympic fever,|mi muchacho! -- Oh, man, she's doing it|in Spanish now.
|-- Give me sound.
Excuse me, everyone.
Cut footage for the 50s|in a half-hour.
-- Dana.
|-- Yeah.
-- Hey.
|-- Hey, what? -- N-Nothing.
|-- Okay.
-- So listen|-- Yeah.
there's this video store|on my corner -- now, it's not a chain|or anything.
-- It's just the one store.
|-- Hurry up with this.
I don't feel I have|your undivided attention.
You don't.
So, I go into this place|from time to time.
To rent Caddyshack? Or La Dolce Vita, yeah.
Anyway, the guy wants me|to do a "10 favorites" list so he can put it up on|the wall next to my picture.
You're having trouble|coming up with 10 movies? -- No.
|-- Then what's the problem? I don't want to do this.
Then don't.
I mean, I really don't want|to do this.
Then don't.
It's not like I'm being|a snob or anything.
It's just --|I have a career, and I can't have my picture|up there next to the guy who just opened for Carrot Top|at Carolines.
Don't do it.
I just don't know|what to say to the guy.
Tell him|you won't do it.
I'll sound|like a jackass.
You are a jackass.
You think I should do it? I honestly don't care,|Casey.
I would give all I had|at this moment for my biggest problem|to be your ego.
That was a little harsh.
Do me a favor.
Go make up with Dan,|would you? Hey, leave me alone.
-- Casey|-- No, I'm serious, Dana.
-- Leave that be.
|-- Okay.
If I did do the list,|it'd be a damn good list, I can tell you that much|right now.
-- How many Rocky movies?|-- "I" through "III.
" -- [ Laughs ]|Not IV and V?|-- Don't be ridiculous, Dana.
This is the 1 0 best movies|of all time.
[ Snaps fingers ]|See ya.
[ Sighs ] -- Hey.
|-- Hey.
I did most|of the A.
East, but I'm gonna|come back to it.
-- After the stuff at 4:00?|-- Yeah.
Okay,|I'll keep it open.
I'm also gonna get|some more film on Erickson.
-- They're sending it|to me|-- On the satellite.
-- Yeah.
|-- Okay.
Casey Believe it or not, um,|Jeremy and l are having a little Passover|Seder in between shows.
I don't know, actually, I thought it might be|kind of fun.
We never have had|a Seder together, me and you.
Yeah, I've never been|to a Seder at all.
Yeah, well, this one's not gonna start a stampede|of conversions or anything.
[ Chuckles ]|But, uh, it might be nice|if you want to come.
No, I don't --|I don't think so, Danny.
Oh, just asking.
Yeah,|I gotta do this stuff.
I'm saving 2:20|for the A.
Dan: Manager Johnny Wilson|was upbeat after the announcement,|declaring, "This is great.
|This is great.
"This is how|you win championships.
This is just so great.
" Close your eyes.
It's just|like sitting by Walden Pond.
We're gonna|pay some bills and come back|in just a minute.
I'm Casey, he's Dan.
-- Don't go away.
|-- We're out.
Three minutes back.
Let me tell you something,|I'm feelin' a little woozy.
-- Yeah?|-- Why do you -- I'm feelin'|a little lightheaded, -- a little woozy.
|-- Let's see Nashville|on ready-1.
Doctor, doctor, Mr.
,|can you tell me, please,|what be ailin' me? Dave: Ready-1.
Take a walk with me|a second.
What's up? No, nothing.
I was just --|I keep meaning to ask you.
Do you know Rick Rogers|at Prime Sports? I don't know him.
|We've probably shaken hands|at some point.
-- You should call him.
|-- Why? No, nothing.
I keep meaning to tell you|over the past few days, there've -- there's a senior producer|leaving.
Are they looking for me|to recommend someone? No.
'Cause Kim's ready.
|She can do that job.
No, I just wanted|to mention it 'cause -- How was the budget meeting|this morning? It wasn't good.
Cutbacks? Yeah.
What? Olympic coverage.
I know.
|I wanted that for you.
What about people? I think we're gonna lose|some people.
Kim and Elliot|are very employable.
-- Yeah.
|-- Don't worry about it.
I am worried about it.
-- Don't be today.
|-- Why? I don't know.
|It's Passover.
Who's Sarah? -- I am.
|-- Cue Sarah.
-- What are you doing?|-- Rehearsal.
Time? -- 60 seconds back.
|-- Make it snappy.
"Abraham, we are simple,|honest, hardworking people, -- and our lives are good.
"|-- "I completely agree, Sarah.
"l hope|we never have to leave my father's house|or even this land.
" "But Abraham's wish|was not to be, for one day,|while tending to his sheep" -- [ Bleating ]|-- Would you please? "Abraham heard|the voice of God.
" -- "Abraham.
"|-- Dave's God? Yes.
-- "Who's that?"|-- "It's me.
" "I'm hearing things.
The wind must be playing|tricks with my ears.
" "It's not a trick.
It's me.
|I've chosen you.
" -- "Chosen me?"|-- "I've chosen you.
|You've been chosen.
" -- "l don't like|the sound of that.
"|-- "No, it's okay.
"What I want you to do is|this -- I want you and Sarah "to leave your father's house|and leave this land "and go forth|to a place called Canaan.
-- Oop.
|-- "There in Canaan you will become the founder|of a great nation.
" -- Okey-doke.
|-- 10 seconds live.
Dana: "The wind must be|playing tricks with my ears"? I'm a genre writer.
In 32 That's all for us, but like|your next-door neighbor,|we just won't go away.
We'll be back at 1 1 :00|with the West Coast|scores and highlights.
You've been watching|"Sports Night" on CSC.
|We'll see you later.
-- Music.
|-- Go.
-- Animation.
|-- Go.
We're out.
Good show.
Rehearsal's in one hour.
I need Joseph, I need Jacob,|I need Pharaoh.
-- What about Pharaoh's|assistant?|-- Yes, I need Maggie.
-- I broke up with you first.
|-- I'll need|Pharaoh's executioners.
-- Pharaoh wasn't executed.
|-- That's one interpretation.
-- So, I'm gonna run out|and do this thing.
|-- Yeah.
-- Go see this guy.
|-- What guy? A guy downtown|at my video store.
About what? Uh, it doesn't matter.
Okay, well, I'll see you|tonight for the show, then.
Yeah, well, I gotta go|change first, but, um Yeah, yeah, sure.
So, you got people coming|to this Seder, or --? Yeah,|some people are coming.
It's no big deal.
See ya later.
[ lndistinct voices ] So.
I was sorry to hear that you|and Joanie split up.
It wasn't Joanie.
|It was Jenny.
-- If you don't mind|me saying so --|-- Not much chance of that.
I think she was good|for the boy in you,|but not the man in you.
-- Really?|-- A choreo-animator? That's like dating|Mary Poppins or your junior-high-school|librarian.
-- Natalie.
|-- Am I out of line? -- No, except she wasn't|a choreo-animator.
|-- What was she? A porn star.
Really? She's made|over 80 adult films.
She's slept with, if possible,|more men than you have.
Jenny was a porn star for both the boy|and the man in me.
-- Hello.
|-- You got a second? I believe I do, yes.
Not quite finished|with your scene yet, Dana.
-- Well, hurry up.
|I'm all aflutter.
|-- Okay.
I'll stay right here.
And the problem is|I'm already on page 9 and I haven't introduced|Moses yet.
That's problematic if you're|telling the story of Exodus, yet it's an epic tale, so maybe|it isn't problematic, nor is it problematic|that I'm talking to myself, for that|is the creative process.
All right, stop now.
-- A porn star?|-- Yes.
-- A porn star?|-- Yes.
He broke up with me 'cause|I wanted to do too much.
I wanted|to have too much fun.
So, logically,|his next girlfriend|would be a porn star.
I was not entirely|forthcoming before.
When? When I talked to you|before about Rick Rogers|and Prime Sports.
W-What do you mean? In the next few months,|there are going to be|massive rollbacks.
You think Kim and Elliot|are in danger? -- No.
|-- Jeremy? -- Natalie|-- Don't ever|misunderstand me, Dana.
I hate|Jeremy's breathing guts, but I love him like|I've never loved anyone, plus which,|I honestly don't think -- we can do the show|without him.
|-- I know.
My point is that|if anyone's job is worth fighting for,|it's -- Oh, God.
-- Natalie|-- They want to fire me.
All it is|is an instinct right now.
A senior associate's|a luxury position.
Fox doesn't have it --|CNN/Sl.
Yeah Yeah, okay.
Okay? Yeah.
So maybe you want to call|Rick Rogers at Prime Sports.
-- Nah.
|-- Natalie -- I'll wait.
|-- Okay.
I'll wait|and see what happens.
That's fine, but -- I'm gonna go check out|some cut footage.
[ Door closes ] [ Sighs ] Let's go.
|[ Claps ] Where's Pharaoh?|I can't work like this.
-- Natalie!|Natalie: Yeah.
-- You're on.
|-- Can I talk to you outside? -- That's happening|a lot today.
|-- Out there.
Somebody find me my Moses.
|It's almost time.
It's almost time? Well, we've got|another 500 or 600 years,|but we're getting there.
-- Hey.
|-- Yeah.
A porn star? -- Yes.
|-- You slept with a porn star? It never actually|got that far.
You dated a porn star|and never slept with her? Yeah.
What a goober.
Natalie? Yeah? You okay? Yeah.
It looked|for a second like -- Dana thinks there's gonna be|some rollbacks.
-- Does she think|it's gonna be you?|-- Yeah.
Dana's not gonna|let it happen, Natalie.
-- Jeremy|-- Dana's not gonna|let it happen, and neither will l.
I miss you.
Let's go back inside.
[ lndistinct voices,|telephones ringing ] [ Door opens ] Isaac: Jeremy, what the hell|am I supposed to do? You're Moses.
Ah, Moses.
Why don't we all|take our seats? Anywhere.
Right there's good.
I was hoping --|if no one minded -- I was hoping on saying|a few words before we started.
I know I've spoken|to you all individually, but it's worth saying|out loud on this occasion that my behavior last week, both on and off the air,|was regrettable.
I appreciate|those who have forgiven me, and I understand those|who haven't yet.
I just say that|these are fractious times -- professionally, personally,|socially.
I'd suspect in the next|few days, we're gonna hear that our Olympic budget|has been cut back dramatically and that|there might be other cutbacks that could be far worse.
It seems to me|that more and more we've come to expect|less and less from each other, and I'd like to be first|to start bucking that trend.
We need each other badly.
I need you all badly.
|[ Knocking ] -- Hey.
|-- Hey.
-- How's it going in there?|-- I'm bombing.
-- No.
|-- I'm trying to tell them|how I feel, but I'm not -- Well,|you're good at that.
|-- You're better.
Anyway, I saw this guy|at my video store.
And I started thinking.
What? That I wouldn't trade the last 10 years working|with you for anything.
Not for anything, Danny,|I swear to God.
You see,|you do it good.
You do it good.
All right, come on.
The gefilte fish|is getting cold.
Isn't it supposed|to be cold? Unh-unh.
You coming? You know, we've got|a lot of repair work to do.
You know where we start? Where? We get our show back.
Dana: "And God heard their cry|and said unto Pharaoh, "'Slavery is unholy|and will not stand.
You will end it now.
'" "But Pharaoh ignored|the will of God.
God allowed|his voice to grow.
" "'Let me be perfectly|understood.
"'Every man, woman, and child|is my creation, "'born of this Earth|with an absolute right "'to live free|within my laws "'as their will|so commands them.
You will let my people go,|and you will do it now.
"' "And once again, Pharaoh ignored the will of God.
" Together: "Yes.
" "And that was a mistake.
" Together: "Yes.
" "For God then looked down|at his lineup card, "pointed to a kid|on the bench, and said, 'Moses, you're up!"' [ Laughter and cheering ] -- Yeah!|-- Whoo-hoo!|-- All right! "About damn time the cavalry|showed up around here, wouldn't you say?" -- Yes.
|-- All right.
Jeremy,|would you bless this wine and all these gifts|in front of me? [ Translation from Hebrew ]|Blessed are you, Lord, our God,|King of the universe, who creates|the fruit of the vine.
Blessed are you, Lord, our God,|King of the universe, who has chosen us from among|all people and exalted us|above every tongue and sanctified us|with his commandments [ Rock music plays ]