St. Denis Medical (2024) s01e02 Episode Script

A Very Robust Personal Life

1
OK, folks, say hello to Mr. Owens.
He is a father of three.
Had a little fender-bender this morning,
so we'll be repairing his right femur.
First, let's take a deep breath in,
step into a space of gratitude,
and get in the zone.
[CLEARS THROAT]
[BEASTIE BOYS' "INTERGALACTIC" PLAYING]
Mm-hmm. That's it.
This feeling.

Come on.
There it is, for Mr. Owens.
Oh, yeah. [CHUCKLES]
It's not that his moves are bad.
- It's just
- Three surgeries.
I've done the math. We could
perform three more surgeries a week
if he would just stop
doing whatever that is.
- I am known to do the Wop ♪
- Wop! ♪
Also known for the Flintstone Flop ♪
Flop! ♪
- Tammy D gettin' biz on the crop ♪
- Crop! ♪
Beastie Boys know to let the beat ♪
Mmm, drop ♪
[UPBEAT ENERGETIC MUSIC]

I know he seemed like a nice
young man, and that hurts.
Hey, Alex, I'm going to need you to
I'm so sorry. It's my mother-in-law.
Can you give me just one second?
Sorry. Wait, you gave him your social?
- Cindy, no.
- Oh, no.
Someone is on a personal call at work.
You'd better wrap it up right now.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm kidding. Take all the time you need.
Today, I have my big
quarterly call with the board,
and I want to run my spiel past Alex.
But she is on a personal call, so.
You know, I'm going to call you back.
A big steel wall.
That is what you need to have
between your personal life
and your professional life.
Outside, go crazy.
I have a very robust personal life.
I play the marimba,
which means weekly lessons and recitals.
I've got my knots.
I love my knots.
I am a bone broth-er
and a mugger.
Meaning I make mugs.
I don't steal from people.
But there is personal life
and business life,
and never the two shall meet.
No sign of fracture.
With some rest,
you should be back on your feet
in a few days.
Great.
I'm a personal trainer,
so feet kind of help.
Oh, I had a personal trainer once.
Hmm.
I almost lasted the full hour.
Come on. You look pretty fit to me.
This happens sometimes.
The patient is vulnerable,
I start tossing around terms
like collateral ligaments,
and, boom,
they catch feelings.
Of course, I'd never act on it.
Wouldn't be right.
But it is nice.
This all looks great.
Um, one thing I do want to flag.
I noticed you used the word
"dynamism" like six times.
- So
- Cool, isn't it?
I got it from "Dwell" magazine.
- Mm.
- Dynamism.
Oh, I love a good buzz word.
- [CHUCKLING]
- I love it.
- It just makes me feel so
- [NOTIFICATION CHIMES]
- Uh.
- Sorry, this is just
my mother-in-law got scammed by this guy
who was claiming to be an IRS agent,
but he wants the money
in all Home Depot gift cards.
So she's just, like, this high-needs
- person that I have to, like
- OK, so I'm going to
I'm going to stop you right there
because that sounds like
a personal matter.
And we, Alex
- Mm.
- Look at look around.
We're at work.
- Huh?
- Yeah, I know.
Do not disturb.
Well, it's on do not disturb.
But, you know, sometimes life creeps in
no matter what, right?
- So
- Alex is busy.
[NAILS TAPPING]
Do not bother her at work.
Now that I'm a supervisor,
I'm getting a lot more
one-on-one time with Joyce,
which, um, rules, you
know, but it does mean that
we're having to establish
a new working relationship.
You know, like, as colleagues.
And that's that's taking some time.
Hey, Val.
The patient in four is
hooked up to a respirator,
but he's got a sheet over his head.
Is that, like, a sleep hack or
Oh, he passed away this morning.
The ultimate sleep hack.
He's an organ donor, so we have to
keep his heart beating until
the procurement crew comes.
Organ donor?
That's kinda
gross.
Is it?
- I'm a donor.
- Pretty sure most people are.
Most people? Really?
Yeah. Kind of weird not to be one.
Organ donation is frowned
upon where I'm from
but I think I need to reconsider
because I have people
here thinking I'm weird.
And you don't want the girl you like
uh, you don't want a woman
who you work with professionally
to think that you're weird.
Or Val.
"Why do I do what I do" is
a question you might ask.
Well, it's not just about the
thousands of lives that I save.
It's about their
families, their friends.
You see, I heal them,
they heal the world.
So
I don't know. You do the math.
Come on, I'll show you what I mean.
Hey. This is Mr. Williams.
And we are going to fix his pelvis,
get him back in action.
Get him back to, uh
what do you do for a living?
I foreclose on people who
can't pay their mortgages.
Uh-huh. Oh.
But, you know, it's probably
a bunch of greedy investors
who got over their skis, am I right?
Oh, no.
Those guys have shell
companies and lawyers.
It's too messy. I like
couples and families.
It's a lot cleaner.
Good.
We'll find a better one.
I don't think so.
So remember how we were talking
about organ donation earlier?
Well, did some research.
Turns out it's awesome.
I don't know why it ever bothered me.
I guess it's four main things.
Obviously, the afterlife risks.
- The what?
- You know, like, if I get into heaven,
I don't want to be a
giant Swiss cheese man.
All my favorite foods just
glooping out of me or whatever.
Sorry.
So you're filled with holes.
SpongeBob is filled with holes.
You don't see him complaining.
That's true. I did not
think about SpongeBob.
You know, once I'm dead,
do whatever you want to me.
Make me into a scarecrow.
Use me as a sandbag to stop floods.
I truly don't care.
I do.
Someone better take my skin.
This is an investment of time and money
that cannot go to waste.
I call dibs.
Give me your skin!
That was a joke, obviously.
Hey,
You know that sprained ankle in 12?
I think somebody has a crush on me.
In 12?
Hey, act like you've been there.
You think she has a crush on you?
In what world?
- Why not?
- No, no, no, no.
You're right.
Hot 20-somethings are
obsessed with old dudes
who love talking about World War II.
A, I'm more concerned
with the events leading
up to World War II.
And B, I know when someone
is flirting with me.
She's probably just
trying to get opioids.
That's what it is.
Or maybe she just has
really low self-esteem.
Ever think of that?
Thank you, Matthew.
No problem.
The entire board's
going to be on this call,
so please, let's triple-check
your intake numbers.
Already done.
- I love a quadruple check.
- Mm, same.
Harriet?
Joyce.
Henderson.
- Oh, Joyce.
- [JOYCE CHUCKLES]
Right, you're one of Alan's students.
Yeah.
Harriet is married to
my marimba teacher, Alan.
Nice to marimba?
Well, you wouldn't
know anything about that
because, you know, separation.
But Alan is a genius.
Alan collapsed this morning.
He's gone.
I need to fill out some forms.
Joyce, I'm so sorry.
Are you OK?
Yeah.
Back to work.
Lot of stuff to do.
Your immune system needs
those germs to practice on.
[BOTH LAUGH]
You're so funny!
Full disclosure, that was
actually George Carlin.
But I think I told it well.
Is that a friend of yours?
Yep.
Anyway, um, ibuprofen for pain
I hope this doesn't break doctor-patient
confidentiality or whatever,
but, um
are you single?
Hmm.
- Am I single?
- Mm-hmm.
Yes, I am.
But I make a policy of
Because I really want to set
you up with my grandmother.
[STIFLED LAUGHTER]
You guys would be so cute together.
OK, bring it on.
Let's do this.
Dr. Ron is old and delusional.
Come on, I can take it.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Yeah, you're being paranoid.
Right, whatever.
Well, don't look,
but there's a total smokeshow
checking you out right now.
Oh, here she comes.
You guys would be so cute together.
[VAL CHUCKLES]
So what's on your mind, Matthew?
Oh, just a quick surgery question.
Um, if I were an organ
donor, would you, like,
kind of try less hard to save me
so you could, you know, use my organs?
[CHUCKLES]
That's [CLEARS THROAT]
That is a funny question.
Actually, a dumb one
because no, no, no, no,
that would be a huge violation
of the Hippocratic oath.
Oh. OK, cool.
Uh, I was just worried it'd
be too tempting to let me die.
Tempting? How?
Well, I mean, I'm just one little life
but if I died, you know,
somebody would get my lungs,
my kidneys, my heart.
I mean, you would save,
like, a dozen extra people.
Yes no. No, no, no, no.
That's it doesn't, uh
I heal patients, they heal the world.
End of story.
Yeah, but think about that times 12.
Would you do me a favor
and get out of my office?
- Sure.
- Great.
OK, on goes the day.
Whoo! Stella!
Stella Bella! Hey, girl.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm excited to be here ♪
[TAPPING TOES] So is everybody else.
Raj!
Mm, mm, mm!
I'm going to beat you senseless!
I got your start paperwork. Thank you.
Boom! [LAUGHS]
Alex!
There she is, giving it her all.
It's like that thing I
was saying earlier, though,
you know?
Sometimes life just kind of creeps in.
Not that I'm saying I told you so.
I would never. [CHUCKLES]
I mean, I did say that earlier.
But, you know, who cares?
- [CHUCKLES]
- Dr. Leonard?
Hey, I want you to meet my grandma.
- Oh, God.
- It's happening!
Hello, Lisa's grandma.
Nice meeting you.
And most people my
age just call me Barb.
Well, what should I call you then?
Kidding!
Oh! [CHUCKLES]
He's kidding. He's your age.
It's not about how old you are.
It's about how old you feel.
I feel 30, so if I
date a woman who's 50,
then that's almost weird on her end.
And I heard you're a big pickleballer.
I'm obsessed. I play every day.
- You guys should play sometime.
- Well, maybe.
But I'm more into the extreme sports.
Muay Thai, base jumping,
and that, uh, thing you
do in the squirrel suit.
Since when?
A while now.
Interesting.
You know, if there were one
word to describe my life,
it would be adrenaline.
Mm.
That is hot.
Excuse me.
Matt, what are you doing?
You just taking in
the sights? [CHUCKLES]
Sorry, I, uh, I was just on break
and I went down to the OR
to watch them take the
organs out of that guy
who died here this morning.
- And
- Oh, yeah.
You mean Alan.
I mean, I guess he looked like an Alan.
Kind of hard to tell without the eyes.
They were just scooping out of this guy.
It was like one of those "Saw" movies
I've accidentally seen the posters for.
It was like he was a used piñata,
but there was no candy.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Just stop talking.
- Yeah.
- All right?
Here's what it is.
Patients are like dandelions, yeah?
And surgeons, well,
we're the children who
[BLOWS AIR]
Send those seeds back out into the world
so that new life can grow.
Finally, a white [BLEEP] doctor.
OK, nope, nope. Do not use that.
Uh-uh. Go, go, go, go.
[MUTTERS]
Hey, Joyce. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
You want some peanut butter crackers?
Grieving people always
seem to go for these, so.
Oh. No, thank you.
Look, I understand if you don't want
to open up with someone at work.
But what I do when
I'm feeling overwhelmed
is I go into the janitor's closet,
and I just cry for, like, five minutes.
And I really think you should try that.
Not necessary, and
frankly, inappropriate.
I will work until the day is done,
and then I will go home
and cry in my own closet.
You probably don't need the
closet if you're at home.
But, you know, message received.
Uh, do you want these?
Those crackers are for the sad.
Throw them out.
- I mean, I'll just eat
them. I don't think
In the trash.
[ALEX SIGHS]
[INDISTINCT PA ANNOUNCEMENT]
[SIGHS]
[GROANS SOFTLY]
[WHIMPERS SOFTLY]
[SOBBING]
The skin on your arms
needs to heal, all right?
So I wouldn't longboard
for a couple weeks.
I mean, I wouldn't longboard ever.
But that's more
my own personal
judgments coming into it.
Nurse Alex Mazurkian,
report to my office now.
This is Joyce.
Hey.
You said cry for five
minutes, and I did.
And now it is so much worse.
- Oh
- It is so much worse.
My call is now
and all I can think
of is Alan, Alan, Alan,
dead, dead, dead.
OK, OK.
Well, that's that's
normal, all right?
Just just get on there
and tell them that your friend died, OK?
They're going to understand if
you're having a personal issue.
Uh, no.
I am the leader.
If I seem weak, those jackals
will just rip me apart.
They will literally bite into my flesh.
No.
Joyce, did you eat
those out of the trash?
Different ones.
Those are from somewhere else.
You're seriously not
going to ask the lady out?
She's cute.
Sure, a lot of ancient stuff is cute.
Stonehenge, the Dead Sea scrolls.
I don't want to date them either.
I'm sorry, isn't she
almost exactly your age?
You know, I dated an older woman once.
Online. Well, she said
she was an older woman,
but turned out to be a much older man.
Why is it still a thing that
men can date women way younger,
but dating a slightly
older woman is, like, gross?
No, I didn't say it was gross.
It's just not my thing.
Because you won't give it a chance.
We didn't, uh, do anything, by the way.
I mean, I didn't.
I don't know what happened on his end.
Serena, leave Ron alone.
- Thank you.
- It's too late for him to evolve.
He's brainwashed because
he grew up in a time
before modern ideas.
Can we not?
I'm defending you!
I'm not just going to ask some woman out
- to prove that I've evolved.
- You know what?
You're the one who's
going to miss out, so.
Hey! Here they are.
[SIGHS] So, question.
Do you guys ever wonder why
the hell we even do this job?
I'm not missing out on anyone.
I date plenty.
My last girlfriend was 42,
and she and I got along great.
But then she wanted to
go back to grad school
and get her masters.
And before that was a 39-year-old.
But she wanted to have kids
and been there, done that.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Then it was a 35-year-old.
And she was
just loud.
She was too loud.
Hmm.
OK, Medicare revenue is up.
Legal claims are down.
Tchaikovsky is playing
on the hold music.
And that was Alan's favorite.
Joyce, just tell them, OK?
Let the wall down.
It'll be fine, I promise.
That is the worst idea I've ever heard.
Stop it!
- [PHONE BEEPS]
- OK, we're all here.
Joyce, how are you doing?
I'm good. I'm great.
How are you doing?
[CHUCKLING] Are you OK? You good?
Because we've got some
exciting projections here.
Really good ideas, and, um
[SOFTLY] Tell them.
All right. Um, let me
circle back to something.
No, I am not OK.
I'm, uh
I'm a little upset.
Someone very close to me
passed away this morning.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, Joyce, that's really hard.
He was my mentor and my
friend and my teacher.
And
hey, was I a little
bit in love with him?
Yeah. Yeah, I was.
I was.
Lisa will be just a minute.
She's picking up her prescription.
Sounds good.
John Grisham? Now we're talking.
My kids tease me, but the man
just knows what he's doing.
Can I admit something to you?
I prefer Grisham's later work.
Thank you.
And I think my boyfriend Sanderson
kind of felt that connection.
- Joyce
- He's my ex, but we're talking again.
- It's really
- Meaning I'm doing all the talking,
and he's doing what he
does, which is shut me out.
OK, why don't we just
So after a very dynamic quarter,
our revenue for Medicare
patients is up 2.9%.
- Great.
- Great.
That is great.
Yes, I'd also like to say,
my relationship with Alan
- never crossed any lines.
- [SIGHING] OK.
I feel like I've painted a
really sordid picture here.
But it was never sexual.
- Never sexual.
- Oh, OK.
- Yes!
- Oh, but if and when you get to Santorini,
you have to try the grilled octopus.
Oh, wait, I thought it wasn't
cool to eat octopus anymore.
Wasn't there that documentary?
Oh, isn't there always a documentary?
- I said that.
- [CHUCKLES]
I mean, if it's dumb enough
to wind up on my plate,
- I'm going to eat it.
- [LAUGHTER]
So
do you think you'd
like to go out sometime?
Absolutely.
I just didn't know
if you were interested
since I don't jump off of cliffs and
Oh, sometimes you've just got
to say what the hell, right?
What does that mean?
Well, I just
I'm saying that I'm usually
uh, I usually don't date
a a woman who is as mature
that's a bad word, no.
Um
as seasoned.
That's a better word, right?
Are you sure?
Yeah. I mean, yeah.
I'm not saying you're worn.
I I look at you as vibrant.
Considering.
So Barb was a bust.
Way too sensitive.
If you're gonna clutch the pearls
every time I say the wrong thing,
it's going to be a long life.
But Santorini with a
woman of a certain age?
That could be nice.
Dinner at 5:00, in bed by 8:00.
I think it's time I expand my horizons.
It's called growth.
Was that bad?
I feel like that was really bad.
You know, the beginning was strong.
And
that's what people remember.
I just don't know where
all of that came from.
I try so hard to keep things separate.
Yeah, but no one expects
that of you, Joyce.
No one expects that of anyone.
We all process personal stuff here.
We kind of have to.
Yeah, I guess I could use
some practice with that.
Exactly.
So
- let's get to it.
- OK.
Sorry, how are we getting to it?
I've long believed
that people should maintain a steel wall
between work life and home life.
But a special colleague
well, friend
actually, I'm going to
stick with colleague
taught me that if a
fire burns bright enough,
even steel can melt.
We should all feel comfortable
sharing personal stuff at work.
[CHUCKLING] Yeah.
I'm going to be an organ donor.
You weren't an organ donor?
Yeah, I mean, we talked
about it this morning.
- OK, well
- [PLAYS NOTES ON MARIMBA]
Maybe we can stick
with my thing, please.
Yes.
I lost someone special today.
Alan, my marimba teacher.
He taught me to play.
And today, I play for him.
[MARIMBA PLAYING]
[BILL WITHERS' "LEAN ON ME" PLAYING]

So I'm 16 years old
and I'm at the high
school science bowl final.
I guess I was pretty bright back then.
And, uh
but I'm off my game
this time because my dad,
who's always front row, center,
I don't see him.
Anyway, we come in third.
And then I find out that he
had a brain aneurysm at work,
and the hospital couldn't stabilize him.
He's gone.
[SIGHS]
Yeah.
Anyway, sometimes I
think that, you know,
with an especially tough case,
what if this is that day
and this isn't just some guy,
this is someone's dad?
[SIGHS]
You know,
maybe that makes me try
just that little bit harder.
to stop a kid from
growing up without a dad.
I don't know.
I mean, does that answer the
what was the question again?
Why did I become a surgeon?
We hadn't asked a question.
You hadn't asked a question.
That's right. Yes, yes, yes.
[CHUCKLING] That's right.
[MARIMBA PLAYING]
[APPLAUSE]
Thank you.
And now an original composition
I like to call "Smitten with Kittens."

Oh, man. I love music.
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