Stags (2024) s01e02 Episode Script
The Chicken
RYAN: Welcome to South
A-fuckin-merica, dickhead!
KAI: This is a stag
do, yeah? Anthony?
And I have a wife and kids at
home these days, isn't I, mate?
We're not 16
anymore, are we, Kai?
- What's up with Greg?
- I think I need to shit.
[speaking Spanish]
Cocaine?
Man:El Puerco Negro operates
according to an ecosystem
all of its own.
Phone: Everything
here costs money.
Borrow Selma's money.
Why has he got you in
a bath filled with ice?
So he could harvest my organs!
[screaming]
SELMA: Your friend Greg
is not a millionaire.
It's an expensive thing to
purchase emergency surgery
when you're outside prison.
But it is an incredibly
expensive thing
to purchase while in prison.
[speaking Spanish]
[gunshot]
So, who's getting
in the fucking bath?
[chickens clucking]
[old acoustic guitar music]
Well, C, is the
way you begin ♪
H, the next letter in ♪
I am the third ♪
C, for to season your bird ♪
K is the fillin' in ♪
E, I'm near the end ♪
C H I C K E N ♪
That's the way
to spell chicken ♪
[sombre music]
Fuck.
[squishing]
Come on.Andale.
That's both kidneys now
from your esteemed friend.
Who's gonna give me the third?
Either someone gets in the bath,
or I'll start shooting
again and pick for you.
[speaking Spanish]
[Gomez speaking Spanish]
John: Like the old days, lads.
Come on.
Shortest stick loses
like when we used
to choose a goalie.
What are we gonna tell Ruby?
Jesus Christ. His fucking kids.
- [squishes]
- [whimpering]
[shouting in Spanish]
You, go help your friend pick
up your other dead guy friend.
The fuck is wrong with you, Kai?
Those bits belong inside Ant.
Leave him alone. He'll
be in shock. He's just
You've known him your
whole fucking life,
you goddamn bastard!
Okay, pussies, who's got
that next kidney for me?
Stu: Oh, no, John.
[speaking Spanish]
Okay, no. Not him. We
don't want the old guy.
Pick again.
Hugo.
I-I I'm so sorry, mate.
If I do this, yeah, then
I want compensation.
Yeah yeah, yeah, of course.
What the fuck do you
think that looks like?
Oh, take issue
with that, do you?
You about to jump
in the fucking bath?
Hey!
Time's up. Let's go.
You guys take on any
share of my debt, okay?
- Okay?
- Uh-huh.
And I want guaranteed bed rest.
[exhales sharply]
Oh, putain! Putain! Fuck!
I don't know if I can Oh!
I don't know if I can Fuck!
Hang about, Hugo.
I think it's me.
[clears throat]
See, mine's mine's
mine's the shortest.
- Son
- I got the shortest one.
What the fuck are
you playing at?
Don't you dare get
in that bath, Kai.
- What fun.
- You hear me?
Wow!
[laughter]
Oh!
Now, that is in low supply.
This is unprecedented.
Don't you dare get in
that bath, do you hear me?
Kai? Get out of that fucking
bath, do you hear me?
Get out of the
fucking bath! Get out!
- [gun cocking]
- Let me go, Dad.
[whimpering] No, no, no.
Branco: For
interrupting, you'll die,
and I'll feed your
old meat to my dogs.
[speaking Spanish]
[whispering in Spanish]
[speaking Spanish]
[whistles]
I'd sooner kill you pussies
than return to this shithole.
Stay beneath my attention
from this day on,
or your heads go up on my wall.
You, my friend.
Bravo! Remarkable team player.
One very special little monkey.
So you keep your kidneys.
The rest of you, maybe not.
Hey, wait, wait. Where
the hell they taking him?
[speaking Spanish]
Take him to the men on the roof.
If we have enough money
for a decent burial,
we'll find what's we'll
find what's left of him there.
Men on the roof. What is that?
They're the, uh,
undertakers, sort of.
Clem, are you doing all right?
Not really, Hugo.
Not really doing all right, no.
First I had to operate
on Greg and now this.
Has anyone got the first idea
what the fuck is going on here?
[shouting in Spanish]
John: Get your hands off her!
Kai: Where are they taking her?
I can't believe Ant's just gone.
I fucking watched him grow
up, for Christ's sake.
He was a lovely lad.
Who gives a shit
about lovely lad?
They just shot him in the head!
That psycho seems to run the
prison, and we are in it.
Still alive. So how do
we get out of here, huh?
Talk about that.
Ey, ey, ey, ey!
No, no, no, no, no!
He's got half a fucking head!
How do we stop that from
happening to us, huh?
Hugo, fucking once in your
life, shut your mouth!
Ey! Boys!
What we need now is rest. Yes?
We need to try and shut
our eyes and get some
Ant's voice:I have a
wife and kids at home,
these days, isn't I, mate?
Put that someplace safe, Kai.
That ring's all we
have left of Ant now.
We need to try and get
this day behind us.
I'm sorry, Ryan, Stu.
I'm sorry it made you angry
when I did what he told me.
I just Well
I loved him, too, you know?
You know I You know I did.
Oh!
[crickets chirping]
[speaking Spanish]
Stu.
Stu.
Outside.
Come. Come.
I think maybe there's more
than just Greg in on it.
What's that? I can't hear you.
I think maybe there's more
than just Greg in on it.
Jesus. What, seriously? Who?
I don't know. But that fax.
It doesn't make sense,
does it? For him, see?
He said that we
was all in on it.
Yeah, if it was, why would
they arrest all of us?
Now they're talking
about a hundred years.
Yeah? Unless they set it up.
So that means that Greg
definitely had help.
[sobbing]
I can't believe it either, mate.
- [chicken clucking]
- [pulley creaking]
Can't sleep. I've just been
replaying it and replaying it.
I can't I can't do this.
I-I literally can't think.
[panting]
You just tell me who you
think's responsible, mate.
I swear I will go in there,
and I will pull them apart.
You know, if any of
them had half a brain,
they'd be pointing
the finger at me.
You can be a shit, yeah,
but you're not this.
You're not a fucking monster!
So, what are we
gonna do then, mate?
We should talk to fucking Greg.
Right? Get the
truth out of him.
Me and you together.
Us two? We need to
stick together, mate.
Old times, mate.
[rooster crows]
Dad!
- Dad!
- Huh?
[inhales] What is it, Son?
Ryan and Stu, they're gone.
And they've taken Ant's ring.
They're gone.
With the only thing we
had worth having, so
- That's a little funny, no?
- Could be an explanation.
A good one.
Donde esta Greg?
[metal slams]
- [pants unzips]
- [urinating]
[speaking Spanish]
[gun cocks]
No.
[speaking Spanish]
[water babbling]
[grunts]
[speaking Spanish]
[door opens]
You did so well, Clementine.
The doctor was quite happy.
Does that mean I can leave?
[laughter] No.
[clears throat]
Also, no more working
around my brother.
His toys never did
survive very long.
You'll be safer with me.
You are the kind of woman
I can get along with.
[knocking]
[speaking Spanish]
You should run along now, Clem.
Ryan: Clem? Clem?
Are you all right?
Is this where
they're keeping you?
Why are you two
What's going on?
We're here for Greg.
Or the bastard's
answers, more like.
Can you tell me what the
fuck's going on, please, Stu?
Can you tell me why I
got shipped here alone,
straight into the care
of some cracked bitch
who's making me carve
actual people up?
A minute ago I was
on holiday, Stu.
What even happened to him?
What the fuck is going on, Stu?
We wanna ask him the same thing.
Let's see if he's woke up.
He's just through there.
Can I trust you both to keep
it together when you see him?
Of course. Of course!
Ryan, do you understand?
You need to stay cool.
There are people with guns here.
Ant's dead! He's fucking
dead, alright? Fucking dead!
Stu!
What do you mean he's dead?
- He's fucking dead!
- What, like, dead dead?
Fuck.
Fuck! The Ant Man's dead.
Nobody called him
that, you fucking scum.
I called him that. It
was our little in joke.
Alright! What happened?
A psychopath turned up and
blew his fucking face off,
about 18 inches from
where we were all stood.
A psychopath who happens
to be the brother
of the woman who
owns this place.
Owns the bed you're laid in.
[panting] Fuck. We need
to get out of here.
Who's fucking we, bruv?
Who's fucking "we"?
200k she wants!
Two hundred fucking
thousand pounds!
For your medical
bill! Our asses!
Do you have that fucking money?
Fuck! I'll get it!
- Fuck.
- Stu, come on, mate.
I'll sort this out. You
know me. We go way back.
No, no. We've known Ant since
we were nine years old, mate.
Nine years old.
Why the hell were
we all arrested?
Who's in on it with you?
Alright, man, chill
out. I'm sorry, okay?
Look, I can make
all of this go away.
- I promise!
- Bollocks!
- Ryan, hit him.
- Okay, okay.
- Don't.
- Tell us how.
[grunts]
The drugs I was carrying
obviously weren't
for me, were they?
They weren't mine!
The people I work for,
they have connections.
Here and all over the region.
Which means I've
got connections.
Some people even call me
Papi Chulo around here.
- Fuck off!
- Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!
Keep fucking Hagrid
away from me!
Ryan.
It's okay. It's okay.
Alright. Listen. Fuck
this. You lot need me.
I'm sorry, but you do. Alright?
And, Hagrid, if
anything happens to me,
that's 200k down the toilet.
We need to move.
The quicker we move,
the better. Alright.
Look, all I need is a phone.
One that I can make calls
on and receive calls on.
Get me a phone and I
can get us out of here.
[sighs]
[groans]
You're alright.
You're alright.
So, we need a burial
plot and a phone.
I-I'm thinkin', right.
We try for a two for one.
- Tell him! Tell him!
- Ryan, enough!
Take the grapes, psycho.
[groans] Can you tell the
nurse I need more grapes now?
- Fuck off, Greg.
- It's for my recovery.
Hugo: Who even is Greg?
I mean, seriously, you
don't know him from home.
Me and Clem don't
know him from uni.
So, who the fuck is he?
Stu said he knew him from work.
Is something not right there?
You know, I've been
wondering something
along those lines meself.
Jesus Christ! Almond butter!
She's got almond butter!
Kai, Kai, go. It's
your time to shine.
Figure out how much she charges.
[speaking Spanish]
He's good at this,
isn't he? Kai.
Where's your
enchanted donkey now?
[speaking Spanish]
Alright. She's not
giving it away,
but she says her dad
does grocery drop-offs.
Bundles, feed a family
for a week kind of thing.
Food is what I'm saying.
Okay, how much is food?
Oh, well she kept
changing the figure.
But I think
probably a hundred.
- A hundred?
- Oh,ça va.
I'm good for a hundred. I
leave bigger tips than that.
Ooh, I'll be back.
Hey! Remember me? Huh?
Phone voice: Hello
again, little bitch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Little bitch.
Okay, whatever. That's me.
Hey. I'll take that
money now, huh?
Hey, Kai! What's
Spanish for hundred?
- Uh,cien!
- Cien.
Cien dolares, por favor.
Huh? Little amigo?
Phone:No can do. Cheap.
You guys owe Selma 200k.
Ha ha ha.
I heard you needed
surgery or something.
Was it for your sick friend
or was it for your
vaginoplasty operation?
I hope it was a big success.
Shit. Shit!
No one will be lending
any of you a dollar
till Selma gets paid.
Okay. Okay, yes,
yes. Okay.Merci.
We can't borrow any
money because of our
Greg's insane debt to that lady.
What the fuck!
So tell me this.
If we've got no money,
and we don't seem
to be getting any,
how the hell are
we supposed to eat?
Chicken.
[chickens clucking]
[speaking Spanish]
[whistle blows]
[speaking Spanish]
[upbeat music]
[chattering in Spanish]
[panting]
[shouting in Spanish]
[alarm bell ringing]
[speaking Spanish]
- Hey, wait, wait, wait.
- Let's do it.
- You've got the ring, yeah?
- Yeah.
Ask him if he wants any work
done in exchange for food.
I'm strong, huh? Hey,
tell him I'm strong.
[speaking Spanish]
[speaking Spanish]
[laughing]
He says he's got three
adult sons in here with him
who are twice the size of us,
so if he needs any work
done, he would just ask them.
Bollocks.
Oh, what does he want then?
There must be a kind
of a quid pro quo.
Quid pro quo?
[speaking Spanish]
- Uh, Dad?
- What, Son?
Well, he's asking if
those designer shoes
you've got on are the real deal.
You know, I don't see many
alternatives if you want to eat.
- We can make some new ones.
- Make some?
Out of what, old
laid-around shite?
They're dead stock!
Fuck. You know,
I seriously don't know
if this is a good deal.
Look, no one's going to
lend us any cash, John.
And a chicken goes a long way.
You've had my eyes out there,
you crafty old bastard.
Here we go. Looks
like we got a chicken.
[sighs]
Stu: What's taking
so long, then?
[insects buzzing]
Stu, man, can I
ask you something?
Do you reckon it's a
little bit my fault?
As well as as well as Greg's,
'cause I put that stuff in
me trousers at the airport?
Do you reckon that it is?
I don't know, mate.
But you seemed
pretty sure yesterday
that was totally
different, didn't you?
[bell jingles]
The ring. The ring, yeah?
Uh
Uh, please, help us.
Señores, only little
English. Okay?
Uh, we think our friend is here.
We think he was brought here.
Uh, I need
We would like you
to bury our friend.
Sí. Yes. Understood.
We We brought this
as payment for him.
Yeah! Very good.
Is normal. Okay?
Normal? What's
No, no, no. It's
a good ring, mate.
I mean, look. It's
lovely, isn't it?
And I need a phone.
To call England.
A phone, señor? A telephone?
It's a good ring.
It's a nice ring, mate.
[speaking Spanish]
Entendio, señor.
The ring of your
friend. My phone.
Sure.
Well, um Well does it does
it have credits on the phone?
- Dinero on the phone?
- Yes, to call London.
Yes, yes. Some.
Enough.
Many call locales, but London,
call London
One, two time maybe.
Two times. Two times.
[whispering]
Okay. Yeah, okay, deal.
Whoa. But But wait.
Where will you
Where will you bury Ant?
Bury?
Where are you gonna
put our friend?
Plus? As well bury?
No, no, no, no.
Señores, no. One only.
No.
No, Ry. Ry, we need
the phone, mate.
Sorry. One second.
Ryan: I'm not
We can't fucking
Ry, Ry. You, John, Clem, Hugo,
Kai all came here because of me.
You're all here because of
me. Now, if fucking Greg
thinks he can get to London,
I have to believe him,
do you understand?
Señores, please!
Stu: This is your way to
make good for what you did.
Go on, Stu. Do it.
Do it.
[phone beeps]
[gasps]
Fuck sake, Greg!
Woman: Want to
leave a message?
Sorry. Um, do you
know where she is?
Well, you should open the door.
Then we can get to
know each other better.
Usually I know where Selma is.
- [door creaks]
- But today
no, I don't.
Don't really get
about like I used to.
- What did you do?
- [chuckles]
Bet you're thinking
about getting out.
I can help you escape.
No, I don't think so.
What? Why not?
Why?
Because you're a woman in a
fucking cage and I want to live.
If you think you can
trust her, you can't.
Because Wait.
Donde esta Selma?
There's things you can do
with a chicken over a fire.
Sear it, fry it, boil it,
make the bones into a soup.
Right, shut the fuck
up, please, Son.
Thanks.
I've eaten chicken.
[knocking]
- [chicken clucks]
- John:Donde esta Greg?
Alright. Kai, you
take the chicken home.
Make sure it can't get out.
[chicken clucks]
- Come on.
- [knocking]
Greg. We want stupid Greg.
Um
Try again, but say por favor.
- [rustling]
- There he is.
Don't be stupid, Greg!
[panting]
Where did he go?
[insects buzzing]
Stu: I'm sorry, Ant.
[speaking Spanish]
Uh, what, monstro?
Monstro, as in monster.
Did he say monster?
What are you saying?
You have no money, so we will
dispose of the corpse our way.
[speaking Spanish]
Justo:
Man: Oh,mi amor.
Fuck, it's barely even working.
They're here. They're
here. They're here.
Let's just get there. Yeah?
Get to the prick's bed,
give him the fucking phone,
and just know
Right, okay, but
if you go in there,
all guns blazing, tell them
we've given Greg a phone,
they might think we're in on it.
Yeah, right, yeah. [sniffs]
- Right?
- Yeah.
We've got this. Come on.
Oi! Ryan! Did you see him?
He's gone. He's fucking gone!
And you! Where's the ring?
- Alright. Hugo.
- Where's the fucking ring?
- Hugo!
- No, John.
- Where the fuck did you
- Just calm down!
And where the fuck is Stu?
We, uh, took the
ring to the roof,
swapped it for a
burial plot for him
so that his family
could find him.
Oh. That actually
That actually sounds like
the right thing to do.
Did you manage
it? To bury him?
Yeah. Yeah, we can't be there
when they do it, because, um,
it's outside of prison
grounds, the graveyard.
Well, um Well, where
the fuck is Stu, huh?
Took off. I just, uh I
don't know. I hit the cell.
About Stu
I tell you this, mate. I
don't know any drug smugglers.
Right? And I want to think
the best of Stu in all this,
give him the
benefit of whatever.
You know, he's marrying my
bloody daughter after all.
But I can't help thinking
- The wedding suppliers.
- What?
Tell him about the
wedding suppliers.
Oh, yeah.
Why have I got wedding
suppliers chasing me
for a downpayment on his wedding
if he's got this
big job in comms
that takes him all
round the world?
John, he's
You know, I'm currently
standing shoeless.
In a prison, Ryan.
It's all starting to strike
me as just a little bit mad.
You don't think so?
I don't blame you for thinking
the way that you're thinking.
Right? I understand. But
You don't know Stu
like I know him.
Stu would not have
done this to you.
'Cause it means he would
have done it to me.
And we're not you and
him. We are me and him.
He didn't meet me when
he was off at university
acting like some flash
little twat, did he?
Me and Stu are like
fucking brothers.
When I look at him, I
don't see what you two see.
I just see a little boy
knocking on my door,
middle of the night, crying,
fucking pissing his
trousers, right?
So this is Greg. This is all
fucking Greg and that's it.
Greg's gone, mate.
We saw him run.
- He's gone.
- The fuck you mean he's gone?
[tense music builds]
Where's the phone?
- You got the phone?
- Yes. Make the call.
Make the call. The others
aren't far off. Let's go.
[beeping]
Hi. Yeah, it's one of
Guppy's guys. Greg.
Yeah, we were due in yesterday,
but we got snagged on the way.
I'm calling from
prison. Puerco Negro.
- Around 40.
- Man:40?
- 40 keys.
- 40?
Yeah. No, no, no. It was
completely unexpected.
He just One of us got
rushed into the hospital
and then it all came apart.
What do you mean? One One
of, mate? One of us? One of
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Listen, mate, I think they're
looking to pin this on someone,
money wise.
They're gonna come
after my family, mate.
If I don't get this
right, they're gonna
You haven't got much
family, have you?
It's just just you
and your mum, isn't it?
Stu, listen to me, mate.
I need you to take
the blame for this.
Okay? I'm gonna pin it on you.
Just say that you overpacked
the balloon and it burst.
Are you taking the piss?
Why would I fucking
agree to do that?
All your friends in here,
in this prison with us,
they all think this
is my fucking fault
and only my fault.
And I've kept your name
out of this to them so far,
and I'll continue to
keep my mouth shut
if you take this fucking phone,
and you're gonna tell London
that it was all your fault.
Do you understand?
Do you understand?
[sighs]
I fucking swear down, Stu.
If you don't, I will tell
your friends the truth.
Hey, this is Stu.
Another of Guppy's
boys. Here with Greg.
Yeah. Go.
Greg fucked up.
Fuck. What are you
doing? [grunts]
Greg overpacked a balloon.
Stu, you're fucking dead,
man. You're dead, man.
[grunts]
Yeah, he overpacked a balloon.
It split. Split in his stomach.
OD'd at the airport.
Police arrived. It was
a fucking nightmare.
[grunting] Ahh!
You fucking-Ah!
Sorry! Sorry. It's fucking
There's a lot of fighting going
on in the prison, yeah. [coughs]
- [speaking, indistinct]
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.
Listen, listen, we
were always told,
call this number
if you hit trouble.
Yeah, you could bribe the right
person, politician, or whatever,
get us out of here.
Yeah. Yeah, we're just in.
- [speaking, indistinct]
- Yeah, this is the best number.
Should we expect a call?
Well, we we haven't
much call credits, so I
Cool, cool.
- [speaking, indistinct]
- Stu.
- Thank you.
- [line beeping]
[panting]
Greg, I'm I'm sorry
about that, mate, but it
You didn't leave me
much choice there.
When we get back to London
Listen, there was no way
I could throw my own
mum in it like that.
Greg.
[patting back]
Greg.
[door knocking]
Uh Uh, it's occupied!
[knocking]
[knocking]
[man shouting in Spanish]
[splashing]
Fuck! [panting]
[man shouting in Spanish]
[coughs]
[passing gas]
[man groans]
[dog barking]
[both speaking Spanish]
[gun cocks]
[chicken clucks]
[pulley squeaking]
[chicken clucking]
Hey! Oi!
[shouting in Spanish]
[chicken clucks]
Don't you assholes owe me 200k?
Was I a bit too cuddly with you?
Did I not correctly convey
that I can cut you
into little lumps?
Obviously we don't have
your money just yet,
but I'm sure with time
we can get our hands on
or work off. We could
probably work
- Oh!
- Jesus!
Holy shit!
Where's Greg? Where's shit Greg?
She's cut his nose off.
I heard Greg leave.
Good for Greg.
Checked himself out
without even a "thank you."
Bad for Greg.
We We don't
know where Greg is.
- We fucking hate Greg.
- Yeah.
Yeah, he's the reason
we're fucking stuck in here
and he's the reason that
your brother's
killed Ant.
But we are very,
very grateful
to you.
Yeah, we just got here, yeah?
So we'll work for
you. We'll work
Can any of you losers sing?
Sing?
There's a fucking
feast day tomorrow.
Can you sing?
Well, I, uh I was considered
a bit of a sort in the
Durham Revue actually.
Sing.
What exactly did you have in
mind when you said you'd like
[gun cocks]
[sings a scale in falsetto]
All I need is
somebody to lean on ♪
[vocalizes]
[sings Italian operatically]
Ah. You're here.
But I need you here.
[sings higher]
It's you,pobrecito.
You will be my little canary.
[speaking Spanish]
- [chicken squawks]
- Oi.
Hey.
You must never allow yourself
to be alone with that man
in a toilet.
[music builds]
We were supposed to
have each other's backs.
Since school I've had yours.
Just lie low. If they
find us, we're dead.
Get down!
Woman: If you want
to live, then escape.
Of course I have your back.
- [gunshot]
- Now, where the fuck is Stu?
- [alarm ringing]
- Mate, what's going on?
[grunts]
Fucking run!
Wait! Don't go there!
- [screaming in distance]
- [gunshots]
A-fuckin-merica, dickhead!
KAI: This is a stag
do, yeah? Anthony?
And I have a wife and kids at
home these days, isn't I, mate?
We're not 16
anymore, are we, Kai?
- What's up with Greg?
- I think I need to shit.
[speaking Spanish]
Cocaine?
Man:El Puerco Negro operates
according to an ecosystem
all of its own.
Phone: Everything
here costs money.
Borrow Selma's money.
Why has he got you in
a bath filled with ice?
So he could harvest my organs!
[screaming]
SELMA: Your friend Greg
is not a millionaire.
It's an expensive thing to
purchase emergency surgery
when you're outside prison.
But it is an incredibly
expensive thing
to purchase while in prison.
[speaking Spanish]
[gunshot]
So, who's getting
in the fucking bath?
[chickens clucking]
[old acoustic guitar music]
Well, C, is the
way you begin ♪
H, the next letter in ♪
I am the third ♪
C, for to season your bird ♪
K is the fillin' in ♪
E, I'm near the end ♪
C H I C K E N ♪
That's the way
to spell chicken ♪
[sombre music]
Fuck.
[squishing]
Come on.Andale.
That's both kidneys now
from your esteemed friend.
Who's gonna give me the third?
Either someone gets in the bath,
or I'll start shooting
again and pick for you.
[speaking Spanish]
[Gomez speaking Spanish]
John: Like the old days, lads.
Come on.
Shortest stick loses
like when we used
to choose a goalie.
What are we gonna tell Ruby?
Jesus Christ. His fucking kids.
- [squishes]
- [whimpering]
[shouting in Spanish]
You, go help your friend pick
up your other dead guy friend.
The fuck is wrong with you, Kai?
Those bits belong inside Ant.
Leave him alone. He'll
be in shock. He's just
You've known him your
whole fucking life,
you goddamn bastard!
Okay, pussies, who's got
that next kidney for me?
Stu: Oh, no, John.
[speaking Spanish]
Okay, no. Not him. We
don't want the old guy.
Pick again.
Hugo.
I-I I'm so sorry, mate.
If I do this, yeah, then
I want compensation.
Yeah yeah, yeah, of course.
What the fuck do you
think that looks like?
Oh, take issue
with that, do you?
You about to jump
in the fucking bath?
Hey!
Time's up. Let's go.
You guys take on any
share of my debt, okay?
- Okay?
- Uh-huh.
And I want guaranteed bed rest.
[exhales sharply]
Oh, putain! Putain! Fuck!
I don't know if I can Oh!
I don't know if I can Fuck!
Hang about, Hugo.
I think it's me.
[clears throat]
See, mine's mine's
mine's the shortest.
- Son
- I got the shortest one.
What the fuck are
you playing at?
Don't you dare get
in that bath, Kai.
- What fun.
- You hear me?
Wow!
[laughter]
Oh!
Now, that is in low supply.
This is unprecedented.
Don't you dare get in
that bath, do you hear me?
Kai? Get out of that fucking
bath, do you hear me?
Get out of the
fucking bath! Get out!
- [gun cocking]
- Let me go, Dad.
[whimpering] No, no, no.
Branco: For
interrupting, you'll die,
and I'll feed your
old meat to my dogs.
[speaking Spanish]
[whispering in Spanish]
[speaking Spanish]
[whistles]
I'd sooner kill you pussies
than return to this shithole.
Stay beneath my attention
from this day on,
or your heads go up on my wall.
You, my friend.
Bravo! Remarkable team player.
One very special little monkey.
So you keep your kidneys.
The rest of you, maybe not.
Hey, wait, wait. Where
the hell they taking him?
[speaking Spanish]
Take him to the men on the roof.
If we have enough money
for a decent burial,
we'll find what's we'll
find what's left of him there.
Men on the roof. What is that?
They're the, uh,
undertakers, sort of.
Clem, are you doing all right?
Not really, Hugo.
Not really doing all right, no.
First I had to operate
on Greg and now this.
Has anyone got the first idea
what the fuck is going on here?
[shouting in Spanish]
John: Get your hands off her!
Kai: Where are they taking her?
I can't believe Ant's just gone.
I fucking watched him grow
up, for Christ's sake.
He was a lovely lad.
Who gives a shit
about lovely lad?
They just shot him in the head!
That psycho seems to run the
prison, and we are in it.
Still alive. So how do
we get out of here, huh?
Talk about that.
Ey, ey, ey, ey!
No, no, no, no, no!
He's got half a fucking head!
How do we stop that from
happening to us, huh?
Hugo, fucking once in your
life, shut your mouth!
Ey! Boys!
What we need now is rest. Yes?
We need to try and shut
our eyes and get some
Ant's voice:I have a
wife and kids at home,
these days, isn't I, mate?
Put that someplace safe, Kai.
That ring's all we
have left of Ant now.
We need to try and get
this day behind us.
I'm sorry, Ryan, Stu.
I'm sorry it made you angry
when I did what he told me.
I just Well
I loved him, too, you know?
You know I You know I did.
Oh!
[crickets chirping]
[speaking Spanish]
Stu.
Stu.
Outside.
Come. Come.
I think maybe there's more
than just Greg in on it.
What's that? I can't hear you.
I think maybe there's more
than just Greg in on it.
Jesus. What, seriously? Who?
I don't know. But that fax.
It doesn't make sense,
does it? For him, see?
He said that we
was all in on it.
Yeah, if it was, why would
they arrest all of us?
Now they're talking
about a hundred years.
Yeah? Unless they set it up.
So that means that Greg
definitely had help.
[sobbing]
I can't believe it either, mate.
- [chicken clucking]
- [pulley creaking]
Can't sleep. I've just been
replaying it and replaying it.
I can't I can't do this.
I-I literally can't think.
[panting]
You just tell me who you
think's responsible, mate.
I swear I will go in there,
and I will pull them apart.
You know, if any of
them had half a brain,
they'd be pointing
the finger at me.
You can be a shit, yeah,
but you're not this.
You're not a fucking monster!
So, what are we
gonna do then, mate?
We should talk to fucking Greg.
Right? Get the
truth out of him.
Me and you together.
Us two? We need to
stick together, mate.
Old times, mate.
[rooster crows]
Dad!
- Dad!
- Huh?
[inhales] What is it, Son?
Ryan and Stu, they're gone.
And they've taken Ant's ring.
They're gone.
With the only thing we
had worth having, so
- That's a little funny, no?
- Could be an explanation.
A good one.
Donde esta Greg?
[metal slams]
- [pants unzips]
- [urinating]
[speaking Spanish]
[gun cocks]
No.
[speaking Spanish]
[water babbling]
[grunts]
[speaking Spanish]
[door opens]
You did so well, Clementine.
The doctor was quite happy.
Does that mean I can leave?
[laughter] No.
[clears throat]
Also, no more working
around my brother.
His toys never did
survive very long.
You'll be safer with me.
You are the kind of woman
I can get along with.
[knocking]
[speaking Spanish]
You should run along now, Clem.
Ryan: Clem? Clem?
Are you all right?
Is this where
they're keeping you?
Why are you two
What's going on?
We're here for Greg.
Or the bastard's
answers, more like.
Can you tell me what the
fuck's going on, please, Stu?
Can you tell me why I
got shipped here alone,
straight into the care
of some cracked bitch
who's making me carve
actual people up?
A minute ago I was
on holiday, Stu.
What even happened to him?
What the fuck is going on, Stu?
We wanna ask him the same thing.
Let's see if he's woke up.
He's just through there.
Can I trust you both to keep
it together when you see him?
Of course. Of course!
Ryan, do you understand?
You need to stay cool.
There are people with guns here.
Ant's dead! He's fucking
dead, alright? Fucking dead!
Stu!
What do you mean he's dead?
- He's fucking dead!
- What, like, dead dead?
Fuck.
Fuck! The Ant Man's dead.
Nobody called him
that, you fucking scum.
I called him that. It
was our little in joke.
Alright! What happened?
A psychopath turned up and
blew his fucking face off,
about 18 inches from
where we were all stood.
A psychopath who happens
to be the brother
of the woman who
owns this place.
Owns the bed you're laid in.
[panting] Fuck. We need
to get out of here.
Who's fucking we, bruv?
Who's fucking "we"?
200k she wants!
Two hundred fucking
thousand pounds!
For your medical
bill! Our asses!
Do you have that fucking money?
Fuck! I'll get it!
- Fuck.
- Stu, come on, mate.
I'll sort this out. You
know me. We go way back.
No, no. We've known Ant since
we were nine years old, mate.
Nine years old.
Why the hell were
we all arrested?
Who's in on it with you?
Alright, man, chill
out. I'm sorry, okay?
Look, I can make
all of this go away.
- I promise!
- Bollocks!
- Ryan, hit him.
- Okay, okay.
- Don't.
- Tell us how.
[grunts]
The drugs I was carrying
obviously weren't
for me, were they?
They weren't mine!
The people I work for,
they have connections.
Here and all over the region.
Which means I've
got connections.
Some people even call me
Papi Chulo around here.
- Fuck off!
- Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!
Keep fucking Hagrid
away from me!
Ryan.
It's okay. It's okay.
Alright. Listen. Fuck
this. You lot need me.
I'm sorry, but you do. Alright?
And, Hagrid, if
anything happens to me,
that's 200k down the toilet.
We need to move.
The quicker we move,
the better. Alright.
Look, all I need is a phone.
One that I can make calls
on and receive calls on.
Get me a phone and I
can get us out of here.
[sighs]
[groans]
You're alright.
You're alright.
So, we need a burial
plot and a phone.
I-I'm thinkin', right.
We try for a two for one.
- Tell him! Tell him!
- Ryan, enough!
Take the grapes, psycho.
[groans] Can you tell the
nurse I need more grapes now?
- Fuck off, Greg.
- It's for my recovery.
Hugo: Who even is Greg?
I mean, seriously, you
don't know him from home.
Me and Clem don't
know him from uni.
So, who the fuck is he?
Stu said he knew him from work.
Is something not right there?
You know, I've been
wondering something
along those lines meself.
Jesus Christ! Almond butter!
She's got almond butter!
Kai, Kai, go. It's
your time to shine.
Figure out how much she charges.
[speaking Spanish]
He's good at this,
isn't he? Kai.
Where's your
enchanted donkey now?
[speaking Spanish]
Alright. She's not
giving it away,
but she says her dad
does grocery drop-offs.
Bundles, feed a family
for a week kind of thing.
Food is what I'm saying.
Okay, how much is food?
Oh, well she kept
changing the figure.
But I think
probably a hundred.
- A hundred?
- Oh,ça va.
I'm good for a hundred. I
leave bigger tips than that.
Ooh, I'll be back.
Hey! Remember me? Huh?
Phone voice: Hello
again, little bitch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Little bitch.
Okay, whatever. That's me.
Hey. I'll take that
money now, huh?
Hey, Kai! What's
Spanish for hundred?
- Uh,cien!
- Cien.
Cien dolares, por favor.
Huh? Little amigo?
Phone:No can do. Cheap.
You guys owe Selma 200k.
Ha ha ha.
I heard you needed
surgery or something.
Was it for your sick friend
or was it for your
vaginoplasty operation?
I hope it was a big success.
Shit. Shit!
No one will be lending
any of you a dollar
till Selma gets paid.
Okay. Okay, yes,
yes. Okay.Merci.
We can't borrow any
money because of our
Greg's insane debt to that lady.
What the fuck!
So tell me this.
If we've got no money,
and we don't seem
to be getting any,
how the hell are
we supposed to eat?
Chicken.
[chickens clucking]
[speaking Spanish]
[whistle blows]
[speaking Spanish]
[upbeat music]
[chattering in Spanish]
[panting]
[shouting in Spanish]
[alarm bell ringing]
[speaking Spanish]
- Hey, wait, wait, wait.
- Let's do it.
- You've got the ring, yeah?
- Yeah.
Ask him if he wants any work
done in exchange for food.
I'm strong, huh? Hey,
tell him I'm strong.
[speaking Spanish]
[speaking Spanish]
[laughing]
He says he's got three
adult sons in here with him
who are twice the size of us,
so if he needs any work
done, he would just ask them.
Bollocks.
Oh, what does he want then?
There must be a kind
of a quid pro quo.
Quid pro quo?
[speaking Spanish]
- Uh, Dad?
- What, Son?
Well, he's asking if
those designer shoes
you've got on are the real deal.
You know, I don't see many
alternatives if you want to eat.
- We can make some new ones.
- Make some?
Out of what, old
laid-around shite?
They're dead stock!
Fuck. You know,
I seriously don't know
if this is a good deal.
Look, no one's going to
lend us any cash, John.
And a chicken goes a long way.
You've had my eyes out there,
you crafty old bastard.
Here we go. Looks
like we got a chicken.
[sighs]
Stu: What's taking
so long, then?
[insects buzzing]
Stu, man, can I
ask you something?
Do you reckon it's a
little bit my fault?
As well as as well as Greg's,
'cause I put that stuff in
me trousers at the airport?
Do you reckon that it is?
I don't know, mate.
But you seemed
pretty sure yesterday
that was totally
different, didn't you?
[bell jingles]
The ring. The ring, yeah?
Uh
Uh, please, help us.
Señores, only little
English. Okay?
Uh, we think our friend is here.
We think he was brought here.
Uh, I need
We would like you
to bury our friend.
Sí. Yes. Understood.
We We brought this
as payment for him.
Yeah! Very good.
Is normal. Okay?
Normal? What's
No, no, no. It's
a good ring, mate.
I mean, look. It's
lovely, isn't it?
And I need a phone.
To call England.
A phone, señor? A telephone?
It's a good ring.
It's a nice ring, mate.
[speaking Spanish]
Entendio, señor.
The ring of your
friend. My phone.
Sure.
Well, um Well does it does
it have credits on the phone?
- Dinero on the phone?
- Yes, to call London.
Yes, yes. Some.
Enough.
Many call locales, but London,
call London
One, two time maybe.
Two times. Two times.
[whispering]
Okay. Yeah, okay, deal.
Whoa. But But wait.
Where will you
Where will you bury Ant?
Bury?
Where are you gonna
put our friend?
Plus? As well bury?
No, no, no, no.
Señores, no. One only.
No.
No, Ry. Ry, we need
the phone, mate.
Sorry. One second.
Ryan: I'm not
We can't fucking
Ry, Ry. You, John, Clem, Hugo,
Kai all came here because of me.
You're all here because of
me. Now, if fucking Greg
thinks he can get to London,
I have to believe him,
do you understand?
Señores, please!
Stu: This is your way to
make good for what you did.
Go on, Stu. Do it.
Do it.
[phone beeps]
[gasps]
Fuck sake, Greg!
Woman: Want to
leave a message?
Sorry. Um, do you
know where she is?
Well, you should open the door.
Then we can get to
know each other better.
Usually I know where Selma is.
- [door creaks]
- But today
no, I don't.
Don't really get
about like I used to.
- What did you do?
- [chuckles]
Bet you're thinking
about getting out.
I can help you escape.
No, I don't think so.
What? Why not?
Why?
Because you're a woman in a
fucking cage and I want to live.
If you think you can
trust her, you can't.
Because Wait.
Donde esta Selma?
There's things you can do
with a chicken over a fire.
Sear it, fry it, boil it,
make the bones into a soup.
Right, shut the fuck
up, please, Son.
Thanks.
I've eaten chicken.
[knocking]
- [chicken clucks]
- John:Donde esta Greg?
Alright. Kai, you
take the chicken home.
Make sure it can't get out.
[chicken clucks]
- Come on.
- [knocking]
Greg. We want stupid Greg.
Um
Try again, but say por favor.
- [rustling]
- There he is.
Don't be stupid, Greg!
[panting]
Where did he go?
[insects buzzing]
Stu: I'm sorry, Ant.
[speaking Spanish]
Uh, what, monstro?
Monstro, as in monster.
Did he say monster?
What are you saying?
You have no money, so we will
dispose of the corpse our way.
[speaking Spanish]
Justo:
Man: Oh,mi amor.
Fuck, it's barely even working.
They're here. They're
here. They're here.
Let's just get there. Yeah?
Get to the prick's bed,
give him the fucking phone,
and just know
Right, okay, but
if you go in there,
all guns blazing, tell them
we've given Greg a phone,
they might think we're in on it.
Yeah, right, yeah. [sniffs]
- Right?
- Yeah.
We've got this. Come on.
Oi! Ryan! Did you see him?
He's gone. He's fucking gone!
And you! Where's the ring?
- Alright. Hugo.
- Where's the fucking ring?
- Hugo!
- No, John.
- Where the fuck did you
- Just calm down!
And where the fuck is Stu?
We, uh, took the
ring to the roof,
swapped it for a
burial plot for him
so that his family
could find him.
Oh. That actually
That actually sounds like
the right thing to do.
Did you manage
it? To bury him?
Yeah. Yeah, we can't be there
when they do it, because, um,
it's outside of prison
grounds, the graveyard.
Well, um Well, where
the fuck is Stu, huh?
Took off. I just, uh I
don't know. I hit the cell.
About Stu
I tell you this, mate. I
don't know any drug smugglers.
Right? And I want to think
the best of Stu in all this,
give him the
benefit of whatever.
You know, he's marrying my
bloody daughter after all.
But I can't help thinking
- The wedding suppliers.
- What?
Tell him about the
wedding suppliers.
Oh, yeah.
Why have I got wedding
suppliers chasing me
for a downpayment on his wedding
if he's got this
big job in comms
that takes him all
round the world?
John, he's
You know, I'm currently
standing shoeless.
In a prison, Ryan.
It's all starting to strike
me as just a little bit mad.
You don't think so?
I don't blame you for thinking
the way that you're thinking.
Right? I understand. But
You don't know Stu
like I know him.
Stu would not have
done this to you.
'Cause it means he would
have done it to me.
And we're not you and
him. We are me and him.
He didn't meet me when
he was off at university
acting like some flash
little twat, did he?
Me and Stu are like
fucking brothers.
When I look at him, I
don't see what you two see.
I just see a little boy
knocking on my door,
middle of the night, crying,
fucking pissing his
trousers, right?
So this is Greg. This is all
fucking Greg and that's it.
Greg's gone, mate.
We saw him run.
- He's gone.
- The fuck you mean he's gone?
[tense music builds]
Where's the phone?
- You got the phone?
- Yes. Make the call.
Make the call. The others
aren't far off. Let's go.
[beeping]
Hi. Yeah, it's one of
Guppy's guys. Greg.
Yeah, we were due in yesterday,
but we got snagged on the way.
I'm calling from
prison. Puerco Negro.
- Around 40.
- Man:40?
- 40 keys.
- 40?
Yeah. No, no, no. It was
completely unexpected.
He just One of us got
rushed into the hospital
and then it all came apart.
What do you mean? One One
of, mate? One of us? One of
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Listen, mate, I think they're
looking to pin this on someone,
money wise.
They're gonna come
after my family, mate.
If I don't get this
right, they're gonna
You haven't got much
family, have you?
It's just just you
and your mum, isn't it?
Stu, listen to me, mate.
I need you to take
the blame for this.
Okay? I'm gonna pin it on you.
Just say that you overpacked
the balloon and it burst.
Are you taking the piss?
Why would I fucking
agree to do that?
All your friends in here,
in this prison with us,
they all think this
is my fucking fault
and only my fault.
And I've kept your name
out of this to them so far,
and I'll continue to
keep my mouth shut
if you take this fucking phone,
and you're gonna tell London
that it was all your fault.
Do you understand?
Do you understand?
[sighs]
I fucking swear down, Stu.
If you don't, I will tell
your friends the truth.
Hey, this is Stu.
Another of Guppy's
boys. Here with Greg.
Yeah. Go.
Greg fucked up.
Fuck. What are you
doing? [grunts]
Greg overpacked a balloon.
Stu, you're fucking dead,
man. You're dead, man.
[grunts]
Yeah, he overpacked a balloon.
It split. Split in his stomach.
OD'd at the airport.
Police arrived. It was
a fucking nightmare.
[grunting] Ahh!
You fucking-Ah!
Sorry! Sorry. It's fucking
There's a lot of fighting going
on in the prison, yeah. [coughs]
- [speaking, indistinct]
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.
Listen, listen, we
were always told,
call this number
if you hit trouble.
Yeah, you could bribe the right
person, politician, or whatever,
get us out of here.
Yeah. Yeah, we're just in.
- [speaking, indistinct]
- Yeah, this is the best number.
Should we expect a call?
Well, we we haven't
much call credits, so I
Cool, cool.
- [speaking, indistinct]
- Stu.
- Thank you.
- [line beeping]
[panting]
Greg, I'm I'm sorry
about that, mate, but it
You didn't leave me
much choice there.
When we get back to London
Listen, there was no way
I could throw my own
mum in it like that.
Greg.
[patting back]
Greg.
[door knocking]
Uh Uh, it's occupied!
[knocking]
[knocking]
[man shouting in Spanish]
[splashing]
Fuck! [panting]
[man shouting in Spanish]
[coughs]
[passing gas]
[man groans]
[dog barking]
[both speaking Spanish]
[gun cocks]
[chicken clucks]
[pulley squeaking]
[chicken clucking]
Hey! Oi!
[shouting in Spanish]
[chicken clucks]
Don't you assholes owe me 200k?
Was I a bit too cuddly with you?
Did I not correctly convey
that I can cut you
into little lumps?
Obviously we don't have
your money just yet,
but I'm sure with time
we can get our hands on
or work off. We could
probably work
- Oh!
- Jesus!
Holy shit!
Where's Greg? Where's shit Greg?
She's cut his nose off.
I heard Greg leave.
Good for Greg.
Checked himself out
without even a "thank you."
Bad for Greg.
We We don't
know where Greg is.
- We fucking hate Greg.
- Yeah.
Yeah, he's the reason
we're fucking stuck in here
and he's the reason that
your brother's
killed Ant.
But we are very,
very grateful
to you.
Yeah, we just got here, yeah?
So we'll work for
you. We'll work
Can any of you losers sing?
Sing?
There's a fucking
feast day tomorrow.
Can you sing?
Well, I, uh I was considered
a bit of a sort in the
Durham Revue actually.
Sing.
What exactly did you have in
mind when you said you'd like
[gun cocks]
[sings a scale in falsetto]
All I need is
somebody to lean on ♪
[vocalizes]
[sings Italian operatically]
Ah. You're here.
But I need you here.
[sings higher]
It's you,pobrecito.
You will be my little canary.
[speaking Spanish]
- [chicken squawks]
- Oi.
Hey.
You must never allow yourself
to be alone with that man
in a toilet.
[music builds]
We were supposed to
have each other's backs.
Since school I've had yours.
Just lie low. If they
find us, we're dead.
Get down!
Woman: If you want
to live, then escape.
Of course I have your back.
- [gunshot]
- Now, where the fuck is Stu?
- [alarm ringing]
- Mate, what's going on?
[grunts]
Fucking run!
Wait! Don't go there!
- [screaming in distance]
- [gunshots]