State of the Union (2019) s02e08 Episode Script
Facetime TV
One mocha.
That's gonna be $3.
90.
Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hi.
What would you like? Just my tea, please.
- You okay? - Yeah.
- Something happened? - Nope.
That will be $3.
25.
Okay.
We usually pay afterwards.
Oh, sure.
- Did I do something wrong? - No.
No.
I guess I'm a little surprised and kind of disappointed.
Why? Scott mentioned that you might have started to see someone.
First of all, that's not true.
I told him there was someone I'd met who I was curious about.
So ask him a question.
Curious? You must have known how'd he hear that.
Can I ask how and when Scott became your new best friend? - We made our peace.
- From that one little apology? Nope.
He came back to apologize again the next day, and I gave it him with both barrels and he took it.
Then we became fisher people for the afternoon, and it was fun.
Now he comes in most days and we talk and he sits and reads his paper.
So that's where your loyalties lie? I just think that you've kept this information back from him for too long.
You've been doing this for a couple months, and only now does he learn about your curiosity.
I didn't even know I was curious when I started.
It's a guy at the meetings I go to.
It's hard to get to know people there because nobody ever speaks.
This is the Quakers? Yes, the Quakers.
So he sat there for like, six weeks, then said something about a meadow, and that's it, you want to fuck him? This is a this is a caricature of the truth.
And by the way, I'm disappointed in your lack of spiritual tolerance.
What? My spiritual tolerance? First it was the fishing, then the veganism, non-dairy and then this? You've got me all wrong.
Just because I'm trans doesn't mean I'll buy into any old bullshit.
Hey, Scott.
- What's wrong with her? - I had some words.
Oh, okay.
Thanks, pal.
- What would you like? - How's the Burundi? Smooth.
Fruity.
Oh, and it's a Cup of Excellence winner.
We try to get behind any initiative to support local African communities.
Where you lead, I follow.
I'll be right over.
You told Jay? Told him what? Christ, Scott, you stupid old man.
Told them what? You know, the possible new sofa.
Oh, him? - Yes.
- Why? It was on my mind.
You tell Jay everything that's on your mind? Yeah, now I do.
I didn't used to.
I thought you found Jay unsettling.
Well, I I kind of got over it.
You can't stay unsettled forever.
- Jay is what they is.
- Right on.
This is what I've been trying to tell you.
And I listened and I thought about it.
And in the meantime, I came to enjoy Jay's company.
Here's the thing.
I am not pro or anti every single person in a group, you are.
What on Earth would make you say that? If someone is gay or trans or whatever, you like them automatically.
I'm moved by their struggle.
Fine, but it's perfectly possible to have had a moving struggle and be an asshole all at the same time.
Well, maybe they're an asshole because of the struggle.
So why isn't Jay an asshole? Why is Jay an interesting, warm and funny person? Maybe Jay's struggle was easier.
Okay, so because Jay is nice, - you don't like them so much.
- This is bullshit.
I see your game.
- What's my game? - "I'm pals with Jay.
" "We go fishing.
" "I'm a changed man.
" You're looking at this like a sport.
Like there are tactics.
You block me all the time.
Okay.
So first of all, if my team is blocking, I have the ball.
Did you know that? Of course I do.
And I really don't, really don't have the ball.
You have the ball.
You're the one who's blocking.
You've had the ball since we started this.
Well, try and take it from me.
Is that what you want? What would you do with it? I'd run off the field with it, take it home and show my dad.
Really? That's so sweet.
No, not really.
I would try to score a touchdown.
But it would be completely pointless because there's like, six seconds to go, and I am 50 points down.
You knew why we were coming to see Cindy.
I was trying to get you to come to terms with the idea that we would probably split.
Well, the probably gave me something to play for.
Let's stop with the playing.
But before we do, you misunderstood the game.
That would not surprise me.
I actually wanted you on my team.
I didn't want you running at me.
I didn't want you trying to get past me.
I wanted us to share a goal.
- The goal of divorce? - Yes.
See, I didn't like that goal.
Well, that's all there is to play for.
So let's try to play together and play nice.
I don't wanna get divorced because of the new sofa.
It's not about that.
You know that, don't you? I think so.
Is there anything you'll miss? Oh, Scott, of course.
Well, I'm glad to hear that much at least.
I'll miss so much.
Like what? You know, the Just You know, the day to day.
Talking about the kids and watching TV.
Yeah.
But we'll still talk about the kids.
Yes, of course.
We'll still watch TV.
Just not together.
We could do that thing where you get the other person on FaceTime, watch it together.
That's a thing? Matt and Suzy Rigby did it with their son and daughter-in-law.
They watched that Netflix thing on chess as a family.
Great.
But I'm not gonna FaceTime you and then sit there watching programs about Chickamauga and Chattanooga and what Stonewall Jackson did wrong for the seventh time.
Oh, the Confederates won in Chickamauga and Jackson wasn't anywhere near the place, so maybe you do need to see it again.
I don't think you're advancing the cause of FaceTime TV very far.
I can see that.
I'm sorry.
What could we watch together? That's better.
A step forward.
'Cause I could give you a list of things that I won't be sitting through.
And that's not so good.
A step back.
We'll find something.
Let's not get bogged down in that.
What about sex? Oh, I don't think so.
That wouldn't be moving on.
No, I meant Will you miss it? With me, I mean.
Of course.
Honestly? I think we should keep the honesty for upstairs where it's safer.
Well, that doesn't sound great.
Yeah, I'm not sure there's much point in making things sound good at this point.
I think it's just something you're supposed to say.
What? That there wasn't anything wrong with the sex and you'll miss it.
Just, you know, an olive branch.
There wasn't anything wrong with the sex and I'll miss it.
- Too late.
- Sorry.
- But there wasn't anything wrong with sex.
- No.
I mean, less frequent than it used to be, but that happens.
And there were some things you've never liked doing.
What? You know, there were some things you've never liked doing.
There's nothing I didn't like.
You didn't like it.
- Me? - Yes.
You stopped me.
I stopped you on one occasion because Anyway.
Misunderstanding.
And now we're getting divorced.
Not because of that.
- How do we know? - There are a million things wrong.
Maybe that was at the root of them all.
Scott, we've talked about all the things that are wrong.
Maybe if we cleared that up years ago, you wouldn't have had to start quaking.
We should go.
And once again, there's no quaking involved.
Paradoxically.
Can we talk about this? Not the Quaker's, not quaking.
- The other thing.
- Sure.
Might be the key to everything.
It's not, I promise.
We'll let the expert decide.
You really wanna talk about sex for an hour? - Absolutely.
- Wow.
You've changed.
This is what I've been trying to tell you.
That's gonna be $3.
90.
Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hi.
What would you like? Just my tea, please.
- You okay? - Yeah.
- Something happened? - Nope.
That will be $3.
25.
Okay.
We usually pay afterwards.
Oh, sure.
- Did I do something wrong? - No.
No.
I guess I'm a little surprised and kind of disappointed.
Why? Scott mentioned that you might have started to see someone.
First of all, that's not true.
I told him there was someone I'd met who I was curious about.
So ask him a question.
Curious? You must have known how'd he hear that.
Can I ask how and when Scott became your new best friend? - We made our peace.
- From that one little apology? Nope.
He came back to apologize again the next day, and I gave it him with both barrels and he took it.
Then we became fisher people for the afternoon, and it was fun.
Now he comes in most days and we talk and he sits and reads his paper.
So that's where your loyalties lie? I just think that you've kept this information back from him for too long.
You've been doing this for a couple months, and only now does he learn about your curiosity.
I didn't even know I was curious when I started.
It's a guy at the meetings I go to.
It's hard to get to know people there because nobody ever speaks.
This is the Quakers? Yes, the Quakers.
So he sat there for like, six weeks, then said something about a meadow, and that's it, you want to fuck him? This is a this is a caricature of the truth.
And by the way, I'm disappointed in your lack of spiritual tolerance.
What? My spiritual tolerance? First it was the fishing, then the veganism, non-dairy and then this? You've got me all wrong.
Just because I'm trans doesn't mean I'll buy into any old bullshit.
Hey, Scott.
- What's wrong with her? - I had some words.
Oh, okay.
Thanks, pal.
- What would you like? - How's the Burundi? Smooth.
Fruity.
Oh, and it's a Cup of Excellence winner.
We try to get behind any initiative to support local African communities.
Where you lead, I follow.
I'll be right over.
You told Jay? Told him what? Christ, Scott, you stupid old man.
Told them what? You know, the possible new sofa.
Oh, him? - Yes.
- Why? It was on my mind.
You tell Jay everything that's on your mind? Yeah, now I do.
I didn't used to.
I thought you found Jay unsettling.
Well, I I kind of got over it.
You can't stay unsettled forever.
- Jay is what they is.
- Right on.
This is what I've been trying to tell you.
And I listened and I thought about it.
And in the meantime, I came to enjoy Jay's company.
Here's the thing.
I am not pro or anti every single person in a group, you are.
What on Earth would make you say that? If someone is gay or trans or whatever, you like them automatically.
I'm moved by their struggle.
Fine, but it's perfectly possible to have had a moving struggle and be an asshole all at the same time.
Well, maybe they're an asshole because of the struggle.
So why isn't Jay an asshole? Why is Jay an interesting, warm and funny person? Maybe Jay's struggle was easier.
Okay, so because Jay is nice, - you don't like them so much.
- This is bullshit.
I see your game.
- What's my game? - "I'm pals with Jay.
" "We go fishing.
" "I'm a changed man.
" You're looking at this like a sport.
Like there are tactics.
You block me all the time.
Okay.
So first of all, if my team is blocking, I have the ball.
Did you know that? Of course I do.
And I really don't, really don't have the ball.
You have the ball.
You're the one who's blocking.
You've had the ball since we started this.
Well, try and take it from me.
Is that what you want? What would you do with it? I'd run off the field with it, take it home and show my dad.
Really? That's so sweet.
No, not really.
I would try to score a touchdown.
But it would be completely pointless because there's like, six seconds to go, and I am 50 points down.
You knew why we were coming to see Cindy.
I was trying to get you to come to terms with the idea that we would probably split.
Well, the probably gave me something to play for.
Let's stop with the playing.
But before we do, you misunderstood the game.
That would not surprise me.
I actually wanted you on my team.
I didn't want you running at me.
I didn't want you trying to get past me.
I wanted us to share a goal.
- The goal of divorce? - Yes.
See, I didn't like that goal.
Well, that's all there is to play for.
So let's try to play together and play nice.
I don't wanna get divorced because of the new sofa.
It's not about that.
You know that, don't you? I think so.
Is there anything you'll miss? Oh, Scott, of course.
Well, I'm glad to hear that much at least.
I'll miss so much.
Like what? You know, the Just You know, the day to day.
Talking about the kids and watching TV.
Yeah.
But we'll still talk about the kids.
Yes, of course.
We'll still watch TV.
Just not together.
We could do that thing where you get the other person on FaceTime, watch it together.
That's a thing? Matt and Suzy Rigby did it with their son and daughter-in-law.
They watched that Netflix thing on chess as a family.
Great.
But I'm not gonna FaceTime you and then sit there watching programs about Chickamauga and Chattanooga and what Stonewall Jackson did wrong for the seventh time.
Oh, the Confederates won in Chickamauga and Jackson wasn't anywhere near the place, so maybe you do need to see it again.
I don't think you're advancing the cause of FaceTime TV very far.
I can see that.
I'm sorry.
What could we watch together? That's better.
A step forward.
'Cause I could give you a list of things that I won't be sitting through.
And that's not so good.
A step back.
We'll find something.
Let's not get bogged down in that.
What about sex? Oh, I don't think so.
That wouldn't be moving on.
No, I meant Will you miss it? With me, I mean.
Of course.
Honestly? I think we should keep the honesty for upstairs where it's safer.
Well, that doesn't sound great.
Yeah, I'm not sure there's much point in making things sound good at this point.
I think it's just something you're supposed to say.
What? That there wasn't anything wrong with the sex and you'll miss it.
Just, you know, an olive branch.
There wasn't anything wrong with the sex and I'll miss it.
- Too late.
- Sorry.
- But there wasn't anything wrong with sex.
- No.
I mean, less frequent than it used to be, but that happens.
And there were some things you've never liked doing.
What? You know, there were some things you've never liked doing.
There's nothing I didn't like.
You didn't like it.
- Me? - Yes.
You stopped me.
I stopped you on one occasion because Anyway.
Misunderstanding.
And now we're getting divorced.
Not because of that.
- How do we know? - There are a million things wrong.
Maybe that was at the root of them all.
Scott, we've talked about all the things that are wrong.
Maybe if we cleared that up years ago, you wouldn't have had to start quaking.
We should go.
And once again, there's no quaking involved.
Paradoxically.
Can we talk about this? Not the Quaker's, not quaking.
- The other thing.
- Sure.
Might be the key to everything.
It's not, I promise.
We'll let the expert decide.
You really wanna talk about sex for an hour? - Absolutely.
- Wow.
You've changed.
This is what I've been trying to tell you.