State of the Union (2019) s02e10 Episode Script

The Last Box

1 Jay? - Jay? - Yeah.
- Oh, hey! - Hey! Anything interesting on there? Uh, no.
I just signed up for a dating app.
- Really? - You seem surprised.
I I guess I didn't know how it worked with Anyway.
What are you sorry for, saying the word "really"? Ellen, lighten up.
You're allowed to say the word "really" in a coffee shop.
Scott was on a dating app yesterday.
And I thought, "Why the hell not, see what's out there for me.
" Because I tried a few ace websites a while back and they were all pretty dead.
But that's what you expect, right? Come on, it was a joke.
An ace website being dead? It's okay to laugh.
Everyone on it was ace, but, uh Meh, I don't care.
I'm sure it was just a bad site.
- I heard about the big "D".
- What? - The divorce? - Oh, change of subject.
Oh, kind of, Scott's dating app and What? Just, I think it is the right decision.
Why? You know that thing I said about the ace website being dead? Scott would have been all over that like a dog on a rabbit.
He'd pick it up by his neck and shake it till it broke.
And that's a good thing? Well, not good or a bad thing.
Just, you know, how he's made.
- Actually, it's a good thing.
- You think it's a good thing that a dog kills a rabbit by shaking it until its neck breaks? It's okay.
Scott is shaking an idea until he gets something out of it.
- An idea isn't a rabbit, right? - Right.
An idea isn't a rabbit.
I was taking it too seriously.
You still do.
I think you two are too different to stay together.
So, before you thought I should divorce him.
But now you think he should divorce me? No, I think you should divorce each other simultaneously.
Do you think you know enough about us, how we worked? I thought you were getting a divorce because the gap between you was too wide.
But you're making it sound as though I caused the gap.
A gap is a gap, no? Two people in different places.
But doesn't it depend on who walked away from who? Ellen you know you walked away from him.
He hasn't moved an inch since 1975.
Until recently, anyway.
So I'm the bad guy? No, but - He's here already? - Every day.
I didn't notice.
- Ooh! - Oh, come on! I'm just saying you didn't notice.
He's just another guy sitting in the corner.
Oh, my God, Jay, you know you've been brainwashed, right? He's a cult, and you've been drinking the Kool-Aid.
He's a regular customer, and we enjoy talking about politics and the Gilmore Girls.
He watches the Gilmore Girls? At my suggestion.
I thought he'd dig it, and he does.
All you have to do is push him a little and he responds in surprising ways.
Maybe you two should get married.
I'll bring your tea over.
I hear you're on dating sites.
Not really.
I downloaded an app and joined up and scrolled through what was an offer.
I'm not dating.
But you intend to? Oh, almost certainly.
What's the problem? There won't be a grieving period? Of course, from now until when I started using it.
- Okay.
Thank you.
- Yeah.
I was emboldened by our conversation about sofa guy and then last week you told me about the younger women I'd meet.
That was said in a spirit of angry cynicism.
I scraped that away and focused on the key message, which is that I should date other women.
What's going on with sofa guy, anyway? He's one specific person who created a spark of interest.
I'm not the one sitting there with a box of candy ready to pig out.
I'm looking for one specific person who might create a spark of interest.
What age range? - 50 plus.
- You're 62.
I don't want 60 plus.
It's the last box.
I am not ready to date an 80-year-old.
- That's the last box? - Yeah.
20 to 30, 30 to 40, 40 to 50, 50 to 60, - 60 plus.
- Oh, Christ! We're the last box.
Well, second to last, one after that is made out of mahogany.
Oh, you'll be buried in bamboo or cardboard.
Wow! That's the best incentive to remarry I've come across yet.
I want a wife who believes in wooden coffins.
I mean, that's not setting the bar too high, right? - Isn't bamboo a wood? - No, it's a plant.
If it were a wood, you people wouldn't be buried in it.
Why does it matter to you if you're dead? Why does it matter to you when I'm not? It'll be up to the next person who I now realize I have to find quickly in case I drop dead in the next week and you'd bury me in an old IKEA box.
The 60 plus box makes me suspect this website is not for mature people.
They can't tell the difference between Madonna and Madeleine Albright.
Mm, we're not their highest priorities.
We should be.
We have a lot of money to spend.
Kids gone, mortgages paid off.
This site is fine for now.
I've got plenty of lovely 55-year-old divorcées who Yeah, I've got plenty to choose from and not just Paula.
We got Holly and Tracy.
We got I got plenty.
I am not entering into a box war with the dating site.
I'm not an activist like you.
This is weird.
You wanna keep going after today? I don't know.
It all seems amicable enough.
Do you wanna talk about who gets what property? I wouldn't ask you to move out of the house.
So you get the New York apartment? Sure, but I should be honest with you and tell you I'll sell it and give the money to the Quakers.
I want to live simply.
Then where will you live? On the Friends community.
I've been in and out of there for a while.
Maybe I'd stay there, may be one somewhere else.
Another state.
Maybe we need to keep talking to Cindy if you want to give away seven figure sums to sofa guy and his lunatic friends.
I guess, but it would be my money.
That that would be the divorce settlement.
I can do what I want with it.
You'd do that, move to Idaho and sit in a room and think with a bunch of strangers? It's called the Society of Friends.
And they mean it.
Wow, you actually would.
Won't you keep in touch with anyone? Of course.
You, the kids, Sarah, Cabdi, a few other people.
But this town was never really me.
Not ever.
It was great for the kids and for you.
What if you decided to stop quaking and start living it up? I won't be asking you for condo money, if that's what you mean.
But what about Cabdi? Doesn't he need money? If I move away, would you look after Cabdi? Jesus Christ.
Some guys take on a kid who isn't theirs, when they get together with someone, not me.
I take on a kid when she goes.
Is that a no? Do I have to get arrested at protests too? No.
I can do that without you.
What happened to FaceTime TV watching? It's FaceTime.
We can do it anywhere.
Would help if we were in the same time zone.
I I'm happy to watch in the afternoon if I move way out west.
Do they even have TVs in these places? Scott, I think the idea in the end is that you find someone else to watch TV with.
You don't care? Yes.
It'll sting.
And I'll miss you.
I want you to find somebody nice, because this is all my doing.
I want you to be happy.
The gap closed up a little.
Didn't it? Yes, in in a weird way, it did.
With the talking, your relationship with Jay.
I understand you better.
What about if it kept closing? Do you think it can? Not really.
I'm tethered up in the yard and I can't move that far.
Your rope is longer than you think.
I'm good where I am.
I think you belong to a tribe of crazy people.
And you're fighting the good fight, I know that.
The other side will kill us all.
- Who knows what I'm doing? - Fighting the good fight.
You said.
I wonder what that means and why me? You really wouldn't want it to be me.
I'd be like Beauregard at Shiloh.
Scott, I'm done with the Civil War.
- I know all I want to know.
- Okay.
I got it.
Can I say something using another hobby or interest? If it's not a sport or fishing.
Did you know that Miles Davis recorded four albums I love in two days in 1956.
This is going to spell it all out for me, I can tell.
He owed them to the Prestige label.
Got them out of the way quick.
Coltrane on tenor, Red Garland on piano, Paul Chambers on bass, Philly Joe Jones on drums.
They're magnificent.
- I'm glad.
- That's where I want to be with those guys.
But they're all dead.
I don't need them to be alive.
I just need to be somewhere that people as talented as that can produce something as great as that.
But don't you worry that the world is moving on without you? No.
No, not at all.
It's cool, the world moving on.
I'm in the University of Mouthfeel.
It is still the worst name for a coffee shop ever.
But unless we get out there and do something, everything vanishes.
Miles Davis, Red Garland, right? We would love for music like that to be produced every single minute of every single day.
But you need our help for that.
I can see that.
You smell the coffee and listen to jazz.
And I'll get arrested.
It's a deal.
What do you want to use the time for today? I want to make sure I find a way to keep you in my life.
Let's go.

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