Stella (2012) s03e07 Episode Script

Series 3, Episode 7

- I forgot the raffle! - You idiot! - He's winding you up.
- Sorry? He've done an auction of promises instead.
Or you could just get him to take us both back to yours.
What? - I don't want to stop what I'm doing.
- Me, neither.
- I love you, Marcus.
- I love you.
I can't do this.
will be celebrating their golden wedding this Saturday with a big family party.
Mmm.
What is it about beans on toast for breakfast? Is it the toast? Is it the butter? Or is it the beans? - I think it's the combination.
- Or the chef.
Mmm.
I got to go.
- Shall I call you a cab? - Oh! You say that every morning.
Oh, my God, I'm touching your face.
- So? We just slept together.
- Exactly.
People can sleep together and not particularly like each other.
But face-touching, that's serious, that is.
That's marriage stuff.
What? You've gone white.
No, impossible.
I'm half-Syrian.
I didn't know you were half-Syrian.
- Yeah, from my mum's side.
- Well, well! Where to is your dad from, then? Wolverhampton.
- Nice! - Mmm.
Sleep over again tonight? Um Yeah, all right, then.
Lovely morning for a day, Stell! Oh, yes.
Shaming.
And hello to you, too! Ben! - You got a parcel.
- Thanks.
What's wrong with him? Well, he don't recognise you, Mam, it's been so long.
- Oh, shut up! - Whoa! We miss you, Ma.
Don't never see you no more since you've gone and found yourself a gentleman friend.
- Wow! D&G! - That was close.
I reckon my mam's getting suspicious.
Wow, these look so genuine.
Got to give it to Keckers, he knows his stuff.
Maybe we should lie low for a while.
We're not in a cowboy film, Ben.
Look, don't be such a chicken.
These will sell really well, I promise you.
- There's tea in the pot.
- Oh, thanks.
I do not stay there every night.
Yes, you do.
You're obviously serious about him.
So, is it lust or is it love? What? Oh, I don't know.
Go on, what do you like about him? Okay, well He's lovely-looking.
And? - He've got nice hands.
- And? - And the sex is gorgeous! - Oh.
So basically lust, then.
Oh, leave her alone.
- It's more than just sex, isn't it? - Hey? Well, you enjoy each other's company and he understands you, doesn't he? Like no one else does.
Um, well You share things together.
- Oh, my God.
No, we don't.
- What? Well, Luke's right.
All we do is sleep together.
I barely know the bloke! - Mam, he lives next door.
- What's this? I am having sex with a man.
I don't even know his middle name.
Well, get to know him, then.
Yeah, take him out for a meal or something.
There's a new Japanese down Cardiff Marcus always talks about.
The chefs toss things in the air like prawns and that and then they set fire to them.
He's going to take me there one night.
Oh, that'll be Jag.
Why would Marcus take you for a meal in Cardiff? Well, not just me! I mean, the girls, like, you know, the shop.
- Will you get his buggy, Mam? - Yeah.
No! Come and have a crack with your old Aunty Parvadi! Oh! I wasn't expecting you.
Well, I'm giving Uncle Jag a break! What's his name again? Abhra.
There's a drink and some fresh nappies in the bag.
- What? Does he still wear nappies? - What? And they go on the bottom end? Oh, right, give him back here.
I'm only fecking with you, Stell.
Right, you be a good boy now, Abs.
What's he doing here? He's giving me a lift.
- Morning.
- Morning.
Nice day.
Great day.
- What's your middle name? - Matthew.
Why? Nothing.
Good God! Can't you leave the woman alone for five minutes? You're like a sex-crazed lunatic, man! You may as well know, Parvadi, them two over there have been active for at least a fortnight.
Absolutely shameless! Like a pair of filthy wood lice.
Look to your own, good girl.
Your Vivienne and Yanto are at it nightly in by there, like stray cats and what's-her-names.
It's a right proper racket.
Got to turn up the cocking telly just to drown out the bastard wailing, presh.
Spoken like a Pontyberry native, boy.
Thanks, butt.
Been, uh, practising the lingo.
He's virtually one of us, Stell.
Yeah, good strong roots.
Wonderfully glossy.
What's your secret? Well, I get all my shampoo from an expert source.
Really? He's an award-winning hairdresser.
Lucky you! What's he like? Well, he's strong.
And he's tall.
- And he's proper fit.
- Lucky him.
And he loves me.
Very much.
Marcus? Marcus, are you in there? What are you playing at? Coming! Stop freaking me out, will you? Coming, Collette.
I'll just get a towel! You're back! What are you doing at home this time of day? Had an accident at the salon, toner leaked all over me.
God, I missed you! I should go away more often.
How much? Come on, I'll show you.
Oh, God! I really enjoyed that.
Especially making them handprints.
Yeah, though I don't really think it's meant for the adults.
Mmm.
Oh, yikes! We got to dash! Got a big afternoon of sporting activities ahead of us.
Ah, lovely.
They say it's good to encourage them at an early age.
What're you going to do with him? Watching golf.
On the telly.
See you! Right, come on! What is it? - Nothing.
- You've heard, haven't you? About me and Michael Jackson? No doubt Aunty Brenda've been spreading it round the Berry like cheap butter.
Well, she did mention it but it's not that How many times we got to go through this, Al? You and me are just good friends.
That's all.
I mean, it's early days with me and Michael.
What if he gets to know me and he doesn't like me? What if he Stella, I don't mind about what you did.
It's about what I didn't.
Right.
Well, I'm glad we cleared that one up.
Didn't what? I haven't seen Celia since the gala thingy.
She wanted to come back here that night and I, uh - I balled it.
- You said no? Well, would you sleep with someone after one night at a gala dinner and a karaoke? Sorry.
The thing is she hasn't texted me back since then.
She's a woman, presh.
- We don't take rejection very well.
- Yeah, but look at me.
Who the hell would wanna sleep with me? Well, she does, obviously! Look, get your rump off our piano stool, get down that care home - and start explaining yourself.
- Oh, I don't know.
Come on! Life's too bloody short.
I'm just saying, Lindsay Lohan can obviously afford it.
She's a celeb.
If we are going so expensive, Toni the tramp would go, because she goes through 10 cans a day.
Have you smelt her lately? Emma? Emma? God! You turn up late and you haven't listened to a word I've said.
What's the matter with you? - Hey! Look who's back.
- Hello, everyone.
Hiya, Collette! Ooh, lovely colour.
Where to have you been again? Every time I go I tell you.
Ireland.
I know.
But you never tell me which one.
I loves Kofu myself.
- How are you, Emma? - Fine, thanks.
You? Excellent, as it happens.
It's great to be back.
That's good.
Be a love and get us a cup of coffee, will you? - That's all right.
I'll do it.
- No, you won't.
I want you to myself for a while.
It's okay, I'll get it.
We raised over £10,000 at the gala, you'll be pleased to hear.
Oh, congratulations.
Great evening.
And the way your girlfriend saved the day with all that begging.
Obviously not afraid to ask for a handout, that one.
Well done.
Five seconds before the knife came out.
She is your girlfriend, though, right? Steve Parks will be calling by for that.
Yes, Stella's my girlfriend.
Problem? Yes, actually.
I don't like her son hanging out with our daughter.
Yeah, we're pretty worried, Mike.
Katie's a sensitive girl and we reckon this Ben Morris character is a bad influence.
Sorry.
Since when did the welfare of our daughter have anything to do with you? - I care a lot, actually - Come off it, Michael.
Andy's practically her step-father.
to shy away from family matters.
It's not your family to shy away from! Oh, what's the point? Jan, you know where I am if you need me.
I'm telling you, that boy's no good.
Well, you're the one who ran off with him! Look, just because you've chosen to shack up with a bit of Valleys rough doesn't mean Katie has to be dragged into the gutter with you.
Ben Morris is a good lad and his mother is not a bit of Valleys rough! More of a woman than you'll ever be and I'm bloody glad I met her.
Hiya! Hi.
- Name? - Alan Williams.
- And? - I'd like to see Celia, please.
- Celia who? - Braxton.
- Name? - Alan.
- Alan Braxton? - Williams.
- William Braxton? - Oh, dear God! Name? Stop taunting the locals, Dorothy! I know exactly who you are! Pervert! What do you want, Alan? Um, it's about the gala thing.
I I just wanted to explain why Why you abandoned me? Took your time, didn't you? - But no, the thing is - What? Um, well, I just don't I don't feel, um, very confident.
Have you not had sex before, then? Of course I have.
Or perhaps you don't find me attractive? Celia, you are beautiful.
It's just me, I Well, I'm hardly Brad Pitt, am I? You know, my ex-wife, she used to go on and on about me being overweight and believe me, in the end, it weighs you down.
If you're expecting sympathy, you've come to the wrong place.
- Sorry? - Do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to put myself out there like that? - Oh, I know - I'll tell you something, Alan, there's a lot worse things in life than being a few pounds overweight.
A lot worse.
So why don't you get off the pity pot and give yourself a reality check, because you don't know the half of it, mate.
Oi! I've got a full house and we're fleecing them.
Get back in it! Pervert! Look, I'll say what I've got to say and then I'll go.
Do you know what my favourite colour is? Uh, purple? Or where I went on a holiday as a kid? Or that when I was six, I broke my wrist in a fight with Rebecca Johnson - over a fireman's jacket? - Fireman's jacket? And my dad was too drunk to take me to A&E because he'd been to the horses.
Or that every Christmas I'd get an Etch A Sketch? - And my favourite season is autumn? - Oh, is it? - And I love bonfires.
- Mmm.
And hate the shape of honeycomb.
And big butterflies freak me out.
Me, too.
But not as much as moths.
In short, what I'm trying to say is will you come for dinner with me tomorrow night? Yes! Of course! I don't follow your logic.
Oh, Michael, we've done everything the wrong way round, presh.
Have we? We shag each other every night but I don't know when your birthday is.
I don't mind.
So I've decided as of today, I am putting an embargo on sex.
- What? None at all? - No.
No.
Not until we get to know each other better.
Starting with dinner.
There's this, um, new Japanese place in Cardiff called the - The Kon something.
- Konbanwa? - You like Japanese? - Yeah, I'm down with Japanese.
Although I got to warn you, the chefs are tossers, so make sure you wear something you don't mind getting stained.
Good.
Great.
Look forward to it.
Uh, Stella, this, um, sex ban You're not serious, are you? Yes, I am.
What? Not even a No, not even a See you.
- Oh, and by the way - What? I'm really glad I met you, too.
She told me to stop bleating on about being fat because there are bigger problems in life.
- Well, she's got a point, Al.
- How do you mean? If sex was exclusively for thin people, then the world's population would die out.
You can't not have nookie just 'cause you're overweight.
Yeah, but I don't know.
It wasn't just about the weight thing.
She seemed upset about something.
Sorry I'm late.
I had a load of hot faggots to deal with.
Say nothing.
I made these pasties day before yesterday.
They got to be used by tonight.
So, I'm happy to do, uh, three for a pound - if anyone's interested? - All right, go on.
- I'll take half a dozen off you.
- Yeah? Sit down, please, George the Butcher.
Right.
Housekeeping.
First, welcome to our new member, Rhian Evans.
Hiya, Rhi! It's good to see you.
And I trust you'll enjoy our life-changing healthy eating programme.
Oh, don't worry about me, Nad.
I couldn't cockin' care less.
I just come to get a break from the kids.
You are aware you have to pay £5 per session, aren't you? See you, Rhi.
Oh, the shame! It's like a night out with Jeremy Kyle's rejects.
Okay, everyone! Let's see how we've done.
Stella? I don't believe it.
- Are they working properly? - Course they are.
Four pounds off.
Well, Stella's obviously stuck with my plan and is this week's star pupil.
Which isn't saying a lot, 'cause looking at the rest of you, I'm not expecting much.
Dai Davies, put that pasty down.
As well as wholesome food, you must have had plenty of exercise.
Am I right? Yeah, I suppose I have.
Well, what is it, may I ask? Share the secret.
Jogging? Cycling? Swimming? Intercourse.
She's been having a lot of intercourse.
That's disgusting, that is.
Sit down.
Em, it's gone half past.
Marcus not picking you up? No.
Collette's back.
So? So, um he'll be going in early to go through the bookings, like.
Might be for the best.
Some women can be a bit funny about their fellas giving other women lifts.
Yeah.
Mam? Yeah? Oh, doesn't matter.
I'll be down now in a bit.
Hi, um, can I have a quick word? Of course.
Is everything all right? Yeah.
Yes, just about the, um Oh! Well, that, really.
Right.
Well, um, that's fine.
- Let me know.
- Just for the record, I'm finding this whole ban thing quite difficult, okay? Okay.
What? No.
Missed you at Blubber Busters last night.
Very observant.
- Thank you.
- All right, you lot, - behave yourselves.
- Don't worry.
We won't.
Ha! Well, uh Good morning, one and all Today we're going on a mystery trip.
What's wrong with that? Well, it'll be Bristol Zoo! I promise you, we'll have a fantastic day.
What about the seaside? - Yeah! - Porthcawl.
- A walk on the prom.
- Yeah.
But you love seeing those penguins being fed, don't you, eh? Oh, bollocks to the penguins.
What's wrong with Porthcawl? A bit of fresh air, bingo.
Hey, hey, hey.
Let's get a few facts straight here now.
Too much excitement is no good for you.
I know about these things.
I'm ex-army and I've seen my share of action.
I've laughed at death and spat down the dark tunnel.
Adrenaline is my soulmate.
Oh, bullshit! Yes! Knock! Knock! - All right? - Bacon, lettuce and peanut butter.
Mam, you're a star.
And I got you a Kit Kat, Dai Davies.
Only a two-finger, mind.
Thank you, Stell.
Very kind.
But if you'll turn to the right Wow! Very impressive.
Aunty Brenda may be in the Dark Ages but one of us has got to drag this business into the future.
And the future is cheesy puffs.
Welcome to the 20th century.
Snack as you go.
No lunch break, eat on the hoof, an American concept.
- Bloke told me about it.
- In America? No, Tenerife.
Right.
Well, five minutes, everyone, then we'll just get back on the bus.
Rollie time.
Excuse me, Mr Williams, but I've dropped a puff.
- Beg your pardon? - My powder puff.
I was adjusting my face in the wing mirror and it dropped and fell under the driver's wheel.
Well, it could happen to anyone, Mrs Perkins.
I'll get it out.
Come on.
Nope, can't see anything.
Mrs Perkins! Mrs Perkins! You're entirely too upset.
I'm sure we'll find it somewhere.
Mrs Perkins? Right.
Let's get this show on the road.
- You seen Alan? - Huh? Got him! Hiya, Al! You're on loudspeaker, so keep the language down.
You know how sensitive my daughter is.
Everything all right? You there yet? No.
Not yet.
And this isn't Alan.
Yanto, you playing silly buggers with me? Await my instructions.
I'm The Captain.
# We're all going on a summer holiday # No more working for a week or two Fun and laughter on our summer holiday.
.
You sure you can do this? I'm trusting you with a hell of a lot here, boy.
- It's not a prob.
Honest! - Okay.
Go through it one more time.
Window shut, bog door locked, radiators off, lights off, bin outside - And? - And don't forget the tin of keys.
- Take it home with you.
- Got it.
You can leave your wallet, your will, your liver in a jar.
But never that tin.
Loud and clear.
Now, get yourself away.
You'll be late.
Oh, first Tuesday of every month I got to go.
Regional meeting of all the rugby club chairmen.
- Enjoy! - Not my cup of tea, to be honest.
Full of jumped-up little wannabes pretending to be something they're not.
Ah, well.
See ya! Dorothy.
- Ahhh! - Go on.
Is that you, Alan? Yeah, it's me, Aunty Bren.
I'm here.
There's something I've got to tell you.
What is it, love? Anything.
If I'm not home by 4:00, can you tell Little Al there's a loaf in the fridge? Yes, copy that.
And Celia I got a message for Celia Braxton.
- Can you tell her - That's enough.
This is a hostage situation.
It's not Steve Wright on a Sunday - Now you.
Be quick.
- Oh, right enough.
Must be costing me a bomb, this call.
Talk.
He's a madman, Aunty Bren! Our lives are hanging by a thread here.
For God's sake, save us! Doggy Man! Chihuahua.
Pathetic.
Come on.
Let's get some ice cream.
Oh, it's the time.
The endless time.
It does my head in.
How long have we been here now? Twenty-five minutes.
For God's sake, pull yourself together, man.
Just remember our training.
Stay calm at all times.
You're right.
You are right.
Sorry, Al.
Oh, God! It feels like it's all over now she's back.
I know.
I hate seeing her touching you.
And the way you are with her, like as if you're madly in love with her or something.
But if I ignored her, she'd think there was something up.
- Come on, Ems, you know how it is.
- Yeah, I do.
It's killing me as well, you know.
- What am I supposed to do? - Tell her.
No.
Why not? You dragging it out like this is just making it worse for everyone.
You've just got to let me do things in my own time, okay? You've got to trust me.
Okay? Oh, Emma! Oh, my God, Al! He've got a gun! No witnesses.
I knew it! I wouldn't mind a mint, if you've got one going spare.
I haven't eaten since 10:00.
A bit peckish, like.
Oh, for God's sake, man.
Where's your self-respect? - Show some restraint.
- Just don't rile him, Al.
He's a killer in easy-care trousers.
I know your type.
Spineless.
You never saw real action, did you, boy? Not real action.
I fought for my country.
For my life! The only place you fought for your life was in the Bunch of Grapes in Aldershot.
Come on, that's a bit much.
Stay out of it, chubby.
Oh, charming.
Yes? Hiya, John! Hear you're up to a bit of mischief today.
No! Not mischief just action.
John Edwards.
Calls himself The Captain.
Tells everyone he was in the SAS.
He was actually a milkman.
Oh, bless him! Is it the dementia? John hasn't got dementia.
He's just a compulsive liar.
All right, John.
You've had your fun.
Why don't you bring them all home now, eh? That depends.
You know you can't get away with this, don't you? Give it to me for a minute, Celiac, or whatever your name is.
Let me at him.
I done a night class a couple of years back.
In what? Hostage negotiation.
I knew it would come in handy one day.
Is that The Captain? You know it is.
Where's Celia? Hiya! It's Aunty Brenda here.
How are we doing, kid? I'm losing my patience.
First rule of negotiation, put them at their ease.
Second rule of negotiation, ask them who the Prime Minister is.
- What? - Oh, nice one, Mam.
That's wrong.
Oh, I know.
Ask him if they've got any hobbies.
You got any hobbies, love? No hobbies.
Just a few demands.
He've got a few demands.
I know.
I can hear him.
- Go on.
- Number one, no more mystery trips.
We're old, not bloody stupid.
Ah, now, can I just say that my company, Brenda's Buses, do run a lovely little trip to Port Talbot once a month.
I'll send you a flyer if you like.
Shut up, Aunty.
Brenda.
And listen.
Oh, look out! He've turned aggressive.
That can happen.
It means he's losing confidence.
Sorry Captain, love.
Carry on.
Why do you assume everyone over 70 likes Countdown? Get some ruddy films on! Okay.
More films.
Is that it? Oh, and just one more thing.
Yes? I've really enjoyed myself today.
John, can you tell one of the drivers I'll be waiting for him? Which one? The big stupid one or the scruffy one that shits himself? The big stupid one.
He knows.
- Hiya, love.
- Hiya! We're short of milk .
.
All right.
I'll try and get some on the way back.
- You okay for bread? - Yeah, fine.
Hey, guess who sold another car today? Oh, that's brilliant! Look, I'll see you back at the ranch.
Love you.
All right.
All right.
Oh, babes! Let me hold you.
Let me feel you.
Let me smell your very bones.
You ain't got no idea what I've been through today.
I've been through a bit myself, love.
- You okay? - Yeah.
Course I am.
Being held hostage is all part of a minibus driver's contract.
Well, let's get this lot settled and then we can have a proper chat, yeah? Okay.
So, here is your mission, should you choose to accept it.
- Go on.
- Coke.
No way! I ain't selling drugs no matter what.
Cans of Coke, idiot.
You see over there? There's a new vending machine in that cabin now, full of easily accessible stock.
The mark-up would be huge.
Now you're talking demented.
We're teenagers, Ben.
It's our job to be demented.
- Hmm, impressive.
- Yeah, man.
Right.
We'll have to tip it.
Quick.
Let's just get it done.
Shit! Get down.
Start them up and get 'em out.
If anybody finds out we were here tonight, we will be in deep dung.
- All right.
Let's leg it.
- Whoa! - Pact first.
- A pact? Of silence.
- We were never here.
Got it? - Got it.
Yes! Mmm.
Well, try it.
Miso soup is drunk like tea in Japan.
But it looks like pond.
No need to be sake.
What? Sake? Sake? Oh, God! What's he dangling now? Octopus.
It's one of their specialities.
Stella, I thought you said you like Japanese.
I do.
I do.
Well, considering tonight is supposed to be a getting-to-know-you exercise, you're not giving much away.
I'm sorry.
I've got a lot on my mind.
So, spill.
Okay.
Question number one.
You think your daughter is having an affair with a married man.
Do you confront her and tell her to stop? Answer, absolutely not.
You only think and you have no proof.
But he's always giving her lifts.
And I saw him touching her face.
What is it with you and face-touching? Look, you've got to let her make her own mistakes and then just be there when it all tumbles down.
- Which it will.
- Hmm.
And then there's question number two.
Which is? You've fallen for a bloke who you suspect you have nothing in common with.
Do you A, stick with it and hope for the best? B, cut your losses and run? Well, you don't look like a woman - who does much running to me.
- Oi! Come on, Stell.
We've got loads in common.
You like octopus? - Oh, definitely not.
- Absolutely.
- My favourite.
It's lovely.
- See? What? Oh, look, Michael, this was a stupid idea.
I wanted to impress you by being all classy and sophisticated.
I find you incredibly sophisticated.
The idea of eating raw fish makes me gag.
I like mine to at least have had a flame passed under it and preferably be covered in butter.
There's no point me pretending to be something I'm not.
Let's just call it a day, shall we? We could.
Or we could just got to the chippy.
Yeah? I'm sorry I snapped at you yesterday.
I can't say I blame you.
What was I thinking of, leaving you there in your nice dress - and everything? - That's not why I was upset.
Okay.
You never ask me about Liam.
About my boy.
Well, I didn't want to be nosy.
I assume he lives with his dad.
No, he When he was 12, Liam had leukaemia and when he was 13 he died.
I don't know why I'm smiling.
I haven't had to tell anyone that for a long time.
I don't tell people, as a rule.
I don't get to know people, as a rule.
I keep myself to myself, you know? And as for boyfriends, well You don't have to say anything if you don't want.
There was something about you that I trusted straightaway.
And I felt well, safe, I suppose.
So when you did your disappearing act at the gala What a total plonker! I Not you.
Me, of course.
Alan, I think you're lovely.
What's it going to be, Luke? A boy or a girl? Oh, it'll definitely be one of them.
- Hello.
- Luke Morgan? You wanna get down the car lot mate.
- Who's that? - I think there's been a break-in.
What? How do you know? What Who is this, by the way? Yeah, police, please.
It might be nothing.
I know.
But I was left in charge tonight when I I was the one who had to lock up.
I was the one who had to take Oh, Christ! - What? - The tin! With all the car keys.
I left it there.
- Where are you off? - Move it! You okay? Yeah.
Oh, no! No! No! No! Stay where you are, son.
You carrying anything? What? No, no, no.
Look.
Look.
I work for Dai.
Just keep your hands on your head where we can see them.
Get out of the car! Get out of the car, come on! Suspect making off for a getaway.
Oi! Stay where you are! Don't move! Okay.
You shouldn't have run, mate.
Okay.
- So my birthday's the first of December.
- Mmm-hmm.
- My middle name is Lucy.
- Oh! And I'm very allergic to cats.
Your turn.
- Matthew.
- Well done.
Uh, to date, no discernible allergies.
Um, though tinned pineapples make my mouth go funny.
Hmm.
I'll remember that for future reference.
That sounds promising.
I'm still in with a chance, then? - Oh, come off it.
- What? I mean, you and me, we're hardly a match made in heaven, are we? I'm Welsh, you're English.
- You're racist, I'm not.
- You love Japanese food and hate Lambrusco.
You adore cricket - and I don't understand it.
- Oh, it's really simple.
And the only reason you moved to Pontyberry is cause you had to, whereas I actually want to live here.
Is that the best you can come up with? What're you doing? - I am approaching the bench.
- Oh.
Your Honour, I have listened to the case for the Prosecution very carefully and I would now like to present the case for the Defence.
- Please continue.
- Thank you.
When I first moved to this town, I believed I was living in a world of barking mad, hostile, opinionated, belligerent aliens, - such as the woman next door.
- Oh, charming! And the couple who kept a donkey in the house, despite the obvious Health & Safety risks.
It's true, I was really unhappy.
And then you helped me out at the gala thing when you When you really didn't have to.
You were so incredibly kind that night.
And I just felt looked after, I suppose.
And I haven't felt looked after by anyone for a very long time.
I know.
The thing is, Your Honour, what I think the court probably doesn't realise is that I I think I'm falling in love with you.
I've already fallen.
I can't fall in love with the donkey.
Just so that's clear.
I will never love the donkey.
Okay.
Stella! Stell! Stella! - Where is she? Stella! - I don't know where she is She'll be here now in a minute.
Stella! - Mam, where've you been? - What are you doing? Oh, Stell, it's Luke.
He's been arrested.
- What? - What? What do you mean, arrested? He called from the police station.
They want to keep him in for the night.
What do you mean, they're going to keep him in? - I don't know what I'm going to do! - Just calm down.
Let's calm down.
We'll sort this out.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
Shh.
It's all right.
Come on, let's Let's go and put the kettle on.
- Come on.
- I'll call the station and It's going to be fine.
- I'd like to book a funeral.
- It's about my mother's funeral.
My brother's a good boy, you know.
He wouldn't risk going inside again.
He've obviously done it.
I want to tell my mother we saw what happened.
While we were robbing the machine? Don't you ever insult my partner again.
Do you understand? You, out!