Storage Wars (2010) s01e17 Episode Script

Chairman of the Hoard

male narrator: WHEN STORAGE UNITS ARE ABANDONED THE TREASURES WITHIN - THIS IS DO OR DIE.
narrator: ARE PUT UP FOR AUCTION.
- THREE.
- 400.
- YEAH.
- YEAH.
- YEAH! - SOLD.
narrator: COMING UP - UP.
- YOU'RE OUT.
- YEP.
- I GOT 1,850 HERE.
- UP.
- WHO THE [bleep] IS THIS GUY? - BACK IT UP.
IT'S LOOKING LIKE 1,800.
WHAT'S MY BOOK WORTH? - THIS ONE IS WORTH-- - 100.
- [indistinct rapid speech] - LOOKS LIKE EVERYBODY WANTS THAT MYSTERY TRUNK.
THIS IS WHY I WEAR GLOVES.
[country rock music] - THIS IS THE WOW FACTOR.
- I'M NOT INTIMIDATED BY ANY BUYERS.
- CASH IS KING.
WINNER TAKES ALL.
- YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO ENCOUNTER.
- LET'S GO! LET'S GO! LET'S GO! - * MONEY OWNS THIS TOWN * MONEY OWNS THIS TOWN YEAH YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT MONEY OWNS THIS TOWN - SOLD! - TODAY, WE'RE AT ALLEC SELF STORAGE IN RIVERSIDE, CALIFORNIA.
- DRIVING THROUGH THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, IT LOOKS LIKE THERE'S A LOT OF HOUSES UP FOR SALE.
I'M EXPECTING THESE UNITS TO BE FULL OF A LOT OF HOUSEHOLD ITEMS.
BRANDI, GET OUT OF THE CAR.
LET'S GO.
- SO DAN SAID THERE MAY BE COLLECTABLES AT THIS FACILITY.
SO HERE I AM.
OH, MY GOD.
NO KIDDING.
LOOK AT THIS.
BOY, THE POPULATION GREW HERE PRETTY QUICK.
- GOOD MORNING.
GOOD MORNING.
HI, EVERYONE.
- SO THERE'S A SERIOUSLY HUGE CROWD AT THIS PLACE, WHICH IS GOOD, REALLY, 'CAUSE, UM, I LIKE MEETING NEW PEOPLE.
YOU GUYS' FIRST TIME? - THIS IS OUR FIRST WEEK - OH, REALLY? - AND WE'RE GOING ALL-IN WITH IT.
I'M GONNA QUIT MY JOB.
- HE'S QUITTING HIS JOB? DOES HE HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THIS BUSINESS ACTUALLY IS? WELL, GOOD LUCK TO YOU GUYS.
- ALL RIGHT.
- YEAH.
- GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
- I'LL SEE YOU WHEN THE BIDDING STARTS.
- ALL RIGHT, BOYS AND GIRLS, WELCOME TO THE AUCTION.
WE'RE GONNA GO THROUGH THESE GATES.
WE'RE GONNA REMOVE THE LOCK.
WE'RE GONNA OPEN THE DOOR.
WE'RE GONNA GIVE YOU FIVE MINUTES TO TAKE LOOK AROUND.
YOU CAN'T OPEN ANY BOXES.
YOU CAN'T GO INSIDE.
AS SOON AS EVERYBODY'S DONE LOOKING, WHOEVER'S GOT THE MOST CASH IN THEIR POCKET'S GONNA BUY IT.
ARE YOU READY? all: YEAH! - ALL RIGHT, FOLKS, WE GOT FIVE UNITS TODAY.
LET'S DO IT.
- LET'S GO! - WE'RE HOPING THAT DAVE AND DARRELL WEREN'T GONNA SHOW UP AND IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE NOT, SO, I MEAN, THIS IS OUR CHANCE TO GET A UNIT FOR A GOOD PRICE IF WE CAN JUST BEAT OUT THESE OTHERNEWBIES.
TODAY COULD BE OUR DAY.
- WE'LL SEE.
- HOW COME YOU'RE NOT IN SCHOOL TODAY? LET ME ASK A SILLY QUESTION.
VACATION? - YEAH.
- OH, HOLIDAY.
ALL RIGHT.
I THINK THE BEST WAY TO WIN IN THIS HUGE CROWD OF NEWBIES IS TO BEFRIEND 'EM AND MAYBE GET ONE OF THEM TO DO MY BIDDING.
TELL YOU WHAT.
I'M GONNA HELP YOU WIN THIS ONE.
- THAT IS A LITTLE SOMETHING SPECIAL RIGHT THERE.
- THERE'S NOT MUCH IN THIS UNIT.
THE ONLY THING I'M SEEING IS THAT OLD TRUNK.
IT'S NOT ENOUGH FOR ME.
- WHAT DO YOU SEE, ROBERT? OOH, LOOK AT THAT OLD TRUNK.
AND COVERED IN DUST.
THAT COULD HAVE SOME GOOD STUFF IN IT.
I'VE HIRED HIM AS A PROFESSIONAL BIDDER.
HE'S DOING THE BIDDING FOR ME TODAY.
RIGHT, ROBERT? - IF YOU'RE A GAMBLER, JUMP UP.
IF YOU'RE NOT, DON'T.
- NOT ENOUGH TO GAMBLE ON THERE.
- [laughs] - I MEAN, I LIKE TO GAMBLE, BUT I WANT SOME ODDS OR SOMETHING.
- WE'RE GONNA GO RIGHT NOW.
I GOT THE BIG OLD MYSTERY TRUNK UNIT.
HOW MUCH MONEY? I GOT 10 RIGHT THERE.
NOW 20.
I GOT 25 RIGHT THERE.
[indistinct rapid speech] I GOT 50 BUCKS.
[indistinct rapid speech] HOW ABOUT 200? NOW 200 AND A 1/4, 225.
I ALREADY GOT 200 HERE.
- LOOKS LIKE EVERYBODY WANTS THAT MYSTERY TRUNK.
HANG ON A MINUTE.
LET'S BID.
- 250 WHERE? - HE'S RIGHT HERE.
- ARE YOU GUYS IN? - YES, WE ARE.
- ARE YOU BANKROLLING THIS YOUNG MAN? - WE'RE TOGETHER ON THIS DEAL.
- ALL RIGHT, 250 FOR YOU GUYS.
I GOT 250.
I'VE GOT 250.
- HIT HIM AGAIN.
COME ON.
PUT YOUR HAND UP.
- 300 THERE.
I GOT 300 BUCKS WITH THE GAMBLERS.
BID 350.
I GOT 300 AND A 1/4.
ARE YOU GUYS IN? - [indistinct] - ARE YOU GUYS IN? - WE'RE TOGETHER.
- 375.
- THIS IS GETTING TO BE A PRETTY PRICEY LOCKER, BUT I WANT TO SEE WHAT'S IN THAT TRUNK.
- 400 AND A 1/4.
- ALL RIGHT! - 425.
YEAH.
YOU'RE GOING IN A PANIC THERE, HUH? - I THOUGHT I MISSED IT.
- 475.
[indistinct rapid speech] YOU GUYS ARE OUT.
I GOT 450 AGAINST YOU.
- WE'RE IN NOW.
- [indistinct rapid speech] GAMBLERS OR NOT, DAMN IT? - THROW IT UP.
COME ON.
PUT YOUR HAND UP.
- YEAH.
- 500 AND A 1/2, SIR.
I'VE GOT 500 AND A 1/4.
[indistinct rapid speech] I GOT 550.
- THROW IT UP.
- 550.
WHAT ABOUT 600? [indistinct rapid speech] COME ON, DAMN IT! YOU'RE NOT IN VEGAS.
ACT LIKE YOU ARE.
- 575, BABY.
YOU'RE IN AT 575.
- AND 600 GOING ONCE AND 600 GOING TWICE.
GONNA BID 600 BUCKS? FAIR WARNING.
GOT TO GO.
GONNA BID 600 BUCKS OR NOT? SOLD THAT TO THE BOY FOR $575.
- 575! [cheers and applause] - CRAZY! CRAZY! - I WOULDN'T HAVE PAID $25 FOR THAT.
- HEY, WE ARE PARTNERS, RIGHT? ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
- ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY, FOLKS, DO NOT GO INSIDE.
TAKE A GOOD LOOK FROM THE DOOR.
IT'S A BIG UNIT.
- I SEE BRANDI'S NEW CAR IN THERE.
YOU WOULD LOOK SO HOT IN THAT, BRANDI, WITH THE PINK WHEELS.
- YOU HAVE TO CLEAN THAT UP FOR ME A LITTLE BIT THOUGH.
OOH, THERE'S NEON LIGHTS ALL OVER THE PLACE, J.
- IS THERE? - YEAH.
AND LOOK, THOSE ARE THE THINGS THAT GO OVER THE POOL TABLES.
- A LOCKER LIKE THIS COULD FILL MY SHELVES FOR WEEKS.
THIS ONE'S MINE.
- CAN'T HELP BUT TO NOTICE THE BOX THAT SAYS, "PLAYBOY 1999.
" WAS THAT PARTICULARLY A GOOD, STRONG, VINTAGE YEAR FOR PLAYBOY? THOSE PLAYBOY MAGAZINES ARE OLD, BUT THEY'RE NOT QUITE COLLECTIBLE YET.
- 15.
- OKAY.
- UH-- - THAT'S THE NUMBER I WAS GONNA SAY TOO.
OUR LIMIT ON THIS UNIT IS 1,500, BUT I DON'T EVEN THINK I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO PAST 1,000.
- ALL RIGHTY, IF YOU'RE READY TO GO, I'M READY TO GO, AND HERE WE GO.
NICE LITTLE UNIT.
BIG OL' 10x25.
AND I GOT 500 RIGHT THERE.
NOW 600 WHERE? - YEP.
YEP.
- 700.
- 1,000.
- 1,000 THERE.
AND 12 1/2 WHERE? I GOT $1,000.
YOU BID 12 1/2.
BID 1,500, WHERE? BILL, YOU'RE OUT.
I GOT 15.
WHAT ABOUT 18? WHERE? [indistinct rapid speech] - WHO THE [bleep] IS THIS GUY? - 2,000.
[indistinct rapid speech] WHAT ABOUT 1,850? GOING TWICE.
- YEAH.
- 1,850.
[indistinct rapid speech] - UP.
- 2,050, YOU'RE OUT.
I'VE GOT 1,950 HERE.
- YEP! - 2,000 BUCKS EVEN.
[indistinct rapid speech] I'VE GOT 2,050 HERE.
- THIS GUY'S GOT TO BE AT HIS MAX.
- I'VE GOT 2,050 HERE.
I'VE GOT 2,050.
- YEP! - 2,100.
NOW 2.
I'VE GOT 2,100.
[indistinct rapid speech] - 2,200.
- 2,200 WHERE? I'VE GOT 2,100.
- UP.
- YEP.
- 2,300.
2,300.
JARROD, YOU'RE OUT.
WANT TO BID 2,300? I GOT 2,200 GOING ONCE.
- I ALREADY GOT KICKED ONCE.
- OH, YOU'VE ONLY BEEN KICKED ONCE.
I'VE GOT 2,200.
[indistinct rapid speech] - YEP! - ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT! - 2,300.
- ALL RIGHT.
SERIOUSLY, JARROD, JUST BECAUSE WE HAVE 3 GRAND DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN SPEND IT ALL ON ONE LOCKER.
- I'VE GOT 2,300.
AND I GOT 2,300 GOING TWICE.
LAST AND FINAL CALL.
- 2,300 GOING TWICE.
YOU BID 2,300? - WHOO! - I'VE GOT 2,300.
[indistinct rapid speech] I'VE GOT 2,300.
AND I GOT 2,300 GOING TWICE.
LAST AND FINAL CALL.
- UP.
- 2,400 AND 2,500.
I'VE GOT 2,400.
[indistinct rapid speech] YOU'RE OUT.
- ONE MORE TIME.
- 2,500.
DO YOU HAVE IT IN YOU, JARROD? - ONE MORE TIME.
- I'VE GOT 2,400 GOING ONCE.
LAST AND FINAL CALL.
SAYING NO.
GOT TO GO.
GUESS WHAT.
[indistinct rapid speech] - YEP! - WHOA! - I GOT 2,500.
- CAUGHT BETWEEN "S-O" AND "L-D.
" - 2,600 NOW.
BILL, YOU'RE OUT.
I'VE GOT 2,500 WITH JARROD.
AND 2,600 GOING ONCE.
AND A BID 2,600 GOING TWICE.
- YEP! - [indistinct rapid speech] AND 2,600 AND 2,650 GOING TWICE.
YOU SHOOK YOUR HEAD, "NO.
" YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT.
YOU KNOW IT PISSES ME OFF.
I GOT 2,600 AND 2,650 GOING ONCE.
AND A BID 2,650 GOING TWICE.
LAST AND FINAL CALL.
A FAIR WARNING.
AND 2,600.
[indistinct rapid speech] SOLD IT YOUR WAY, BILL.
YOU GOT IT FOR 2,600.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HEY! [cheers and applause] - BUYING UNITS LIKE THIS FOR THAT KIND OF MONEY? HE'LL BE OUT OF BUSINESS SOONER THAN HE KNOWS.
- THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S WHY I SAID, "GOOD GAME.
GOOD GAME.
" - THAT WAS CLOSE.
- I'M NOT GONNA GIVE THIS GUY A HARD TIME, 'CAUSE IT WASN'T THAT LONG AGO THAT I WAS THE NEWBIE AND IT WAS TOUGH.
- THAT WAS A HELL OF A BATTLE.
I LIKE IT WHEN THOSE GUYS BATTLE LIKE THAT.
- YOU KNOW, WE'RE JUST HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
WE'RE NOT ACTUALLY TRYING TO RUN A BUSINESS.
- [chuckles] - THIS UNIT LOOKS LIKE A BUNCH OF TRASH TO ME, BUT WITH ALL THESE DUMBASSES IN THE CROWD RIGHT NOW, I KNOW SOMEBODY'S GONNA BE OVERPAYING.
- THERE'S A COUPLE OF QUALITY FRAMES IN HERE.
BUT HONESTLY, I'M A LITTLE LEERY ABOUT BIDDING AGAINST THESE PEOPLE AGAIN.
- STOMACH WAS GROWLING, I WAS HUNGRY, I STOPPED AND ATE.
YOU KNOW, I'M SEEING A LOT OF NICE FRAMEWORK.
I SEE A LOT OF BOXES IN HERE.
THIS COULD BE THE LOCKER FOR ME.
BRANDON, WE'RE GONNA GO FOR THIS.
- IF YOU'RE READY TO GO, I'M READY TO GO, AND HERE WE GO.
NUMBER 20.
JARROD, WHAT DO YOU THINK? - 300! - 300.
- YEP.
- 400! - LOOKS LIKE DARRELL AND BRANDON GOT HERE JUST IN TIME FOR THE LAST LOCKER.
- 400! - YEP.
- 400 1/2, COREY.
- 500.
- LET'S GO! - 500 1/2.
[indistinct rapid speech] - DARRELL WANTS THIS LOCKER.
GOOD LUCK GETTING IT FROM THIS CROWD, PAL.
- GOT 650 NOW.
I GOT 600 AND 650 WHERE? I GOT 600 AND 650 GOING ONCE.
[indistinct rapid speech] YOU WANT TO GO 700? [indistinct rapid speech] - YES.
- ARE THESE ROOKIES REALLY RUNNING ME UP RIGHT NOW? - YEP.
- 800, 800 1/2.
I'VE GOT 900 BUCKS.
YOU'RE OUT.
I'VE GOT 900 BUCKS.
I'VE GOT 1,000 BUCKS.
AND 1,050 GOING ONCE.
I GOT 1,000 BUCKS.
AND 1,050 GOING TWICE.
LAST AND FINAL CALL.
SOLD IT YOUR WAY FOR A $1,000 BILL.
THE GAMBLER.
SIDE BET.
YOU GUYS ARE IN.
$1,000.
THANK YOU.
- THAT WAS EXPENSIVE.
- JACKIE WINS THE SALE, EVERYBODY.
DON'T FORGET TO PAY THE LADY, FOLKS.
MEET IN THE OFFICE.
- I APPRECIATE YOU LETTING ME TAKE A LOOK IN YOUR UNIT RIGHT NOW.
- NO WORRIES.
I HOPE IT'S WORTH WHAT I PAID FOR IT.
- YEAH, I HOPE IT IS TOO, YOU KNOW? I DON'T LIKE TO SEE ANYBODY LOSE MONEY.
EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T WIN THIS LOCKER, I ALMOST SPENT 3,000 BUCKS ON IT AND I AM DYING TO KNOW WHAT'S INSIDE.
LUCKILY, BILL'S GONNA LET ME TAKE A PEEK IN HIS LOCKER, SO AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME WONDERING.
I--I CAN TELL YOU WHAT I SEE RIGHT OFF THE BAT.
- [sighs] WHAT ARE YOU SEEING? - BACK-BREAKING WORK.
- [laughs] YEP.
- IT'S TOO DIRTY IN THERE FOR ME.
- YEAH, IT'S VERY DIRTY.
- DID YOU CHECK ALL THESE DESK DRAWERS? SOMETIMES YOU GET LUCKY WITH THE DESK DRAWERS.
ONE OF THE BIGGEST MISTAKES NEW GUYS MAKE IS UNDERVALUING THEIR ITEMS.
THIS SADDLE RIGHT HERE, I MEAN, THERE'S 500 BUCKS RIGHT THERE.
- NICE.
- YOUR BIKES RIGHT HERE, THERE'S ANOTHER 200, IF THEY'RE NOTHING SPECIAL.
THAT GAS TANK RIGHT THERE IS PROBABLY GONNA BRING YOU 200, THAT GUITAR IS PROBABLY ANOTHER 100 BUCKS.
YOUR BAR LIGHTS, THERE'S ANOTHER 150.
THERE'S JUST SO MANY BOXES IN HERE, WITHOUT REALLY RIPPING INTO 'EM, YOU'RE NOT-- - YEAH.
- YOU'RE NOT GONNA TRULY KNOW UNTIL YOU GET THIS ALL SPREAD OUT ON YOUR BACKYARD GRASS.
THERE'S GONNA BE SOME PROFIT IN THIS UNIT.
- I'VE GOT A BIG TRUNK BACK HERE TOO I CAN'T EVEN GET TO.
- MY GIRL'S GOT THAT PROBLEM TOO.
[laughter] - THAT'S COLD.
- EVERY LESSON IN LIFE THAT YOU LEARN COSTS MONEY, RIGHT? YOU LEARN HOW TO PLAY POKER.
YOU GOT TO LOSE SOME MONEY TO LEARN.
YOU LEARN HOW TO BUY STORAGE UNITS.
YOU GOT TO LOSE MONEY TO LEARN.
HOPEFULLY SOMEDAY I'LL HAVE LEARNED ALL THE LESSONS AND I'LL BE [bleep] DAVE.
- I LIKE HOW YOU'RE BEING SO HELPFUL.
YOU'RE NOT BEING, LIKE, A DAVE HESTER RIGHT NOW.
- YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER BEEN A DAVE HESTER.
I HAD TO LEARN THE HARD WAY.
I HAD TO LOSE THE MONEY TO LEARN.
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT YOUR WORK CUT OUT FOR YOU HERE.
I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE AND GET OUT OF THIS DIRT.
- ALL RIGHT, MAN.
- GOOD LUCK WITH IT.
EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T GET ANY UNITS, I GOT TO SHARE MY KNOWLEDGE AND I GOT TO HELP OUT A NEW GUY.
THAT GUY'S GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF HIM.
- I JUST BOUGHT MY FIRST UNIT TODAY AND I PAID $2,600 FOR IT.
AND WITH THE HELP WITH JARROD, HE TOLD ME I HAD $1,500 IN IT AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN MADE A DENT IN IT.
AND I'M REALLY STOKED ABOUT IT AND I CAN'T WAIT TO GO OUT AND BUY SOME MORE.
- TIME TO GLOVE UP.
I WANTED TO SEE WHAT WAS IN THIS TRUNK SO BADLY, I ENDED UP PAYING $575 FOR IT.
WELL, ORIGINALLY, I BOUGHT THIS UNIT BECAUSE THAT TRUNK IS AN OLD ONE.
THAT TRUNK IS PROBABLY I'D SAY AT LEAST 50, MAYBE 75 YEARS OLD.
THIS IS WHY I WEAR GLOVES.
THIS IS WHY I WEAR GLOVES.
DOESN'T SEEM TO BE IN REALLY GREAT SHAPE.
NOTHING.
WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT? ONE DIRTY SOCK.
THIS SOCK NOT GOING IN MY LUCKY SOCK COLLECTION.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, WE BOMBED OUT THERE.
BUT, UH, THE TRUNK ITSELF IS WORTH AT LEAST 100 BUCKS.
YOU FIND THE WEIRDEST STUFF IN STORAGE LOCKERS.
SOMEBODY'S HANGING ON TO ONE TAMPON.
UNLESS THAT TAMPON'S MADE OF SOLID GOLD, I'M NOT GETTING ANYTHING BACK ON THIS LOCKER.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT THE-- WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? [chuckles] I WONDER IF IT'S STILL BREATHING.
THESE FURS APPEAR TO BE OLD.
I MEAN, UH, I CAN'T TELL YOU IF THEY'RE WORTH $5 OR $5,000, 'CAUSE I'M JUST-- I REALLY DON'T TRAFFIC IN FURS.
I'D RATHER GO BACKWARDS ON THIS UNIT THAN PROFIT ON THIS LITTLE GUY.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT ANY OF THIS STUFF, BUT I KNOW SOMEONE WHO JUST MIGHT.
- HEY, LET'S GET THE LOCK OFF OF THIS THING, GET IN HERE, AND GET AT IT.
I'M READY TO SEE WHAT I GOT.
I GOT TO THIS AUCTION LATE, BUT I STILL MANAGED TO GET A LOCKER.
I WASN'T GONNA LET SOME NEWBIE TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME.
SET SOME OF THIS STUFF RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR.
THERE'S NO ROOM TO MOVE IT IN HERE.
YEAH, A NICE LITTLE PAINTING HERE.
MORE HANGERS.
HOLY MACKEREL.
WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP.
THIS IS NOT WHY I DO THIS.
I LET THESE NEWBIES GET TO ME AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS.
I PAID TOO MUCH FOR THIS LOCKER.
HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF THIS LOCKER.
I THINK WE SHOULD JUST GO GET THE TRUCK AND GET THIS CRAP OUT OF HERE.
SEE WHAT I MEAN? WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY LITTLE SINGLE BAG.
BACK IT UP.
HOLD ON.
HERE'S SOME NICE OLD BOOKS IN THIS BOX RIGHT HERE.
LOOKING LIKE, UH, 1800s, EARLY 1900s.
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
CHEMISTRY BOOKS AND STUFF.
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT A BOOK EXPERT, BUT THAT'S DEFINITELY WORTH TAKING AND LOOKING 'EM UP.
ALL I CAN DO IS HOPE THAT THESE BOOKS ARE SOMETHING.
OTHERWISE, I'M LOSING 1,000 BUCKS ON THIS LOCKER.
SHOVE ALL THIS BACK IN AND LOCK IT UP.
MEET ME OUT AT THE TRUCK.
- WHAT'S HAPPENING? - SOMEBODY GAVE ME THESE AND HE SAID TO GIVE IT JUST PERSONALLY TO YOU.
- WHAT THE HELL DID HE LOOK LIKE? - UH, HE DIDN'T LEAVE A NAME.
JUST SOME CRAZY GUY.
- "TO DAVE.
"I HOPE THIS KEEPS YOU WARM AT NIGHT.
BARRY.
" OKAY, WELL, NOW THAT CONCERNS ME A LITTLE BIT.
STAND BACK, 'CAUSE THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING IN HERE THAT-- - [chuckles] - NO REALLY, STAND BACK.
I LIKE BARRY, BUT I THINK THAT HE NEEDS SOME KIND OF PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING.
THIS MIGHT BE A JOKE WHERE SOMETHING POPS UP AND SHOOTS PAINT OR CONFETTI ALL OVER THE PLACE.
WELL, I MEAN, IT SEEMS LIKE HE JUST SENT ME SOME, UH, FURS.
WELL, OKAY.
WELL, I THINK THESE TWO ARE GONNA BE MINKS AND THIS IS PROBABLY GONNA BE A FOX OR CHINCHILLA.
MAKE ME THREE TAGS.
I THINK WE SHOULD PRICE 'EM AT A COUPLE HUNDRED BUCKS APIECE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF MAN SENDS ANOTHER MAN FURS, BUT IF BARRY WANTS TO SEND ME SOME FURS, I'LL SELL 'EM.
THESE GUYS KEEP GIVING ME STUFF AND THEY'RE HELPING ME ACTUALLY PAY MY RENT, SO I REALLY DON'T MIND TOO MUCH.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS WHEN YOUR COMPETITION IS HELPING YOU MAKE MONEY.
BEAUTIFUL.
THAT'S A GOOD WAY TO START THE DAY OUT.
THE FUNNIEST THING ABOUT THIS IS I'M GONNA MAKE MONEY FROM AN AUCTION I DIDN'T EVEN GO TO.
I'LL TAKE IT ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.
- I GOT BID UP TO 1,000 BUCKS ON THIS OLD STINKY LOCKER.
MY ONLY HOPE IS THAT THESE OLD BOOKS THAT I FOUND ARE WORTH SOMETHING.
- HI, DAN.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
- I GOT THESE BOOKS.
I'M NOT SUPER-EDUCATED ON BOOKS.
THIS IS THE BOOKS WE GOT.
AND, UH, THEY KIND OF-- - PRETTY MUCH THE STUFF THAT YOU'LL WANT TO AVOID ARE THINGS LIKE THE OLD CHILD PSYCHOLOGY BOOKS.
JUST OBSOLETE.
- UH-HUH.
- COLLEGE ZOOLOGY.
IT'S NOT QUITE OLD ENOUGH.
IT'S NOT QUITE NEW ENOUGH.
SO IT'S JUST SORT OF DEAD MATERIAL.
- GREAT.
- LET'S SEE.
YOU'VE GOT BIOCHEMISTRY.
AGAIN, JUST SORT OF AN OBSOLETE TEXTBOOK.
A WONDERFUL READING COPY OF THE SUN ALSO RISES.
I GENERALLY SELL THOSE FOR $4 OR SO IN MY STORE.
- OOH.
I DON'T LIKE THE $4 PILE.
- IF YOU HAD MORE BOOKS BY HIM, HE'S VERY COLLECTIBLE.
WE'VE GOT SOME OF HIS BOOKS THAT WE SELL FOR $10,000.
- WHERE ARE THOSE? - THOSE, WE KEEP HERE IN THE CASE.
THERE'S A SIGNED GREEN HILLS OF AFRICA BY THE SAME AUTHOR.
- WOW.
THIS GUY'S GOT A BOOK THAT'S WORTH $10,000.
I GOT TO SEE THAT.
- GIVE YOU AN IDEA.
THIS ONE'S SIGNED BY HIM.
THAT'S WORTH $10,000.
- OH, WOW.
IS THAT HIS REAL SIGNATURE? - THAT'S HIS REAL SIGNATURE.
- WOW.
AND THAT'S ALL BEEN "AUTHENTICICATED" AND EVERYTHING, HUH? - IT IS.
HERE'S A COPY OF MEN WITHOUT WOMEN, THE SAME AUTHOR.
- OH, THAT WOULD BE HORRIBLE.
- THAT'S A $200 BOOK.
- UH-HUH.
- SAME BOOK WITH THE DUST JACKET HERE? $4,000.
- I HOPE I'VE GOT A BOOK IN THAT BOX THAT'S WORTH AS MUCH AS HIS BOOK.
- LET ME SEE WHAT ELSE YOU HAVE HERE.
THIS IS AN ATTRACTIVE, UH, DON QUIXOTE.
HOWEVER, IT'S NOT REALLY WORTH MUCH.
I GENERALLY SELL THESE FOR $10 OR SO.
- YOU KNOW, DAN, WE'RE ALMOST AT THE END OF THIS BOX OF BOOKS AND THIS IS VERY DEPRESSING.
- WELL, IT GETS BETTER HERE.
- OKAY.
- I SEE YOUR FAREWELL TO ARMS HERE.
IT'S A HEMINGWAY CLASSIC AND THIS IS AN ACTUAL FIRST EDITION.
THIS IS SCRIBNER'S, THE PUBLISHER, AND DURING THEIR TIME, WHAT THEY DID WAS THEY PUT A LITTLE LOGO THERE.
LATER ON, THEY USED THE LETTER "A.
" BUT THIS IS THE LOGO THAT THEY USED.
- ALL RIGHT, SO, WELL THEN WHAT'S MY BOOK WORTH? - UH, THIS ONE IS WORTH PROBABLY SOMEWHERE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF WHAT THIS ONE IS WORTH.
ABOUT $200.
IF YOU HAD THE DUST JACKET, IT WOULD CHANGE THINGS DRASTICALLY.
NOT QUITE $4,000.
- I KNOW.
YOU WANT TO SELL ME THAT DUST JACKET AND THEN I'LL SELL YOU MY BOOK? - TO GIVE YOU AN IDEA, IF YOUR BOOK HERE HAD A DUST JACKET, IT'S PROBABLY $1,500 TO $2,000 DEPENDING ON THE CONDITION.
- DAN, YOU'RE KILLING ME.
THAT WOULD HAVE BROUGHT ME RIGHT OUT OF THIS STINKY LOCKER I JUST BOUGHT.
I SHOULD HAVE LET ONE OF THOSE NEWBIES HAVE THIS ONE.
- THEY SAY YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER, BUT IF IT HAS THE COVER, IT SURE HELPS.
narrator: THE BIG WINNER WAS DAVE HESTER, WHO EARNED A PURE PROFIT OF $600.
JARROD SCHULZ DIDN'T GET A LOCKER, BUT RACKED UP SOME GOOD KARMA BY HELPING A ROOKIE.
BARRY WEISS GAVE AWAY HIS FURS, LEAVING HIM WITH A LOSS OF NEARLY $500.
AND DARRELL SHEETS IS THE BIG LOSER, DOWN 800 BUCKS ON HIS BOOKS AND RECYCLING.
- IS THIS WHAT WE LIKE TO CALL A CLOSED SET? - CLOSED SET.
- OKAY.
WHO'S GETTING NUDE? YOU OR ME? - UH, WE BOTH ARE, ACTUALLY.
- [spits] JESUS.
SORRY, STEVE.
- I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN A REAL-LIFE SPIT TAKE BEFORE.
- WOW.
THAT WAS REAL.