Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (2006) s01e19 Episode Script
K&R, Part I
Previously on Studio 60: You know if Tom got an e-mail from his brother before the show? His parents called, haven't heard from his brother in 48 hours.
I can't feel the baby kick.
- What? - I haven't felt her kick all day.
If I drink orange juice, I can get her to.
Three American soldiers were ambushed on a road in Paktika, Afghanistan.
One of them is Mark Jeter.
These things turn out okay.
They said they're demanding Drive Jordan to Hollywood Memorial emergency room.
She'll tell you why on the way.
What do you wanna do now? - Is it the ratings? - Too early.
- We're not even up on the West Coast yet.
- Then are we just being summarily fired? - Is everybody here? - Yeah, we're missing Tom and Simon.
Hang on.
Hang on a second.
- All right.
Yeah, listen.
You guys are scaring the hell out of everybody.
All right.
- About 20 minutes ago, we found out It's on the news, we found out that Tom's brother was one of three airmen captured on a road out of Kandahar.
- There's videos, there are hostage demands.
- Where's Tom? Jack took him over to NBS.
We'll shut down the party - I don't think that's good.
- Why? The news isn't reporting one of them is the brother of a celebrity.
- Longer we can wait for that to get out - He's right.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah.
Let the party be a party.
Nobody says anything.
- I wanna talk to Tom.
- Soon as he's done getting some answers.
The video message first aired approximately 40 minutes ago on Aljazeera television and has since been rebroadcast on all major news channels.
Tom? - Yeah? Simon Stiles is making a lot of noise out there.
- He's a friend, can he come in? - It's just for family.
- He's family.
When did it happen? Twenty-two hours ago.
- Reporting it now? We just found out about it when Aljazeera put up the tape.
- CentCom knew about it before the tape? - Jack, we can deal with that another time.
Your brother and two others were transporting fuel from Kandahar to the village of Golam Kot when his truck was ambushed.
- By Taliban fighters? Yeah.
We know the tape is legitimate? DOD's verified the identification of all three soldiers.
- They're making three demands.
- Airmen.
- I'm sorry? - They're not soldiers.
They're in the United States Air Force.
They're airmen.
I'm sorry, son.
Airmen.
- They're making three demands.
- Yeah? U.
S.
And U.
N.
Forces leave the province of Paktika, Afghanistan.
- No problem.
- U.
S.
Will agree to no longer build women Oh, my God.
Damn! Including Mark Jeter, younger brother of Tom Jeter - Are they out of their minds? Jack Howard, they've gotta shut their mouths now.
Set up a conference call with every news director you can wake up.
- We're telling them things they don't know.
Jordan McDeere, I need her now.
How many hours has it been since the baby moved? At least six.
I've been drinking orange The last time you saw your OB/G YN? - Two weeks ago.
- Everything checked out? - Yeah.
What's wrong? - Probably nothing.
- Diabetes? - No.
- Allergies? - Shellfish.
Doctor? - You ever terminated a pregnancy, Jordan? - Yes, in 1999.
Would that have an? - Were there any complications? - Doctor? - No.
- Yeah? - Her blood pressure.
- Take it again.
- I took it three times.
What's wrong? Your blood pressure's 180/110.
- What does that mean? - Something's going on.
- Let's get you to a sonogram machine.
- God.
Any reason why your blood pressure would be so high? I'm the president of a network.
We're having ratings problems.
I'm fighting with my boyfriend who's the sweetest man.
And the little brother of a cast member has been taken hostage in Afghanistan.
Have anyone that you can call? Family or friends? - Danny Tripp.
- The father? No, but he wants to be.
Damn it! What? Local news let it out it's Tom's brother.
Jack's trying to shut them down.
They're beaten up.
This one's got an ax.
Just cool it.
STEFFl: Danny.
- Not now.
- It's Jordan.
What are they saying? I'm coming.
Where's he going? Jordan's at the emergency room.
Why is she at the emergency room? Uh, she hasn't felt the baby kick in a while.
All right.
Almighty God, father of all mercy and giver of solace - Hi.
- Hey.
I just spoke to Tom.
- And? - Well - How is he? - He's all right.
There's a procedure where a commander and a chaplain and a casualty officer come to the family and wait with them.
Does he know anything at all yet? Mark's got a couple things working in his favor.
He's a captured soldier rather than a civilian hostage.
As a captured soldier he's got the U.
S.
Armed Forces working towards his rescue.
- Are they trying to rescue him? Is that? - Not gonna tell Tom or anybody else.
What's the other thing working in his favor? - He's not Jewish.
- Wow.
So if it was you over there instead of Mark They'd be FedExing my head to my parents now.
Well, if it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
We shouldn't be laughing.
Well, crying doesn't do me any good.
Didn't we have this fight once before? Haven't we had every fight at least once before? Seriously.
I remember this one.
But we were on the other side.
It was the day the war started in Afghanistan.
- Day of the Emmys.
- Day the war started.
They were the same day.
They postponed the Emmys till October because of 9/11.
Yeah.
And we all met here and were getting drunk before we got into the cars and went to the Shrine, you were all fuhtutzed, because Why? Maybe it had something to do with being attacked by terrorists.
No, it was because you couldn't tie your tie.
Does anybody know how to tie a bow tie? Anybody? Excuse me.
You wanna stop kissing my ex-girlfriend for a second? - Sorry.
- Either of you know how to tie a bow tie? - Mine's a clip-on.
- I can do it.
- You want some more champagne? - Yes.
Okay.
Come here.
- Why didn't you just get a clip-on? - Because I'm from the East.
- What does that mean? - It means a lot.
But you don't know how to tie it.
I work in a building with 14 professional wardrobe mistresses.
I figured it wouldn't be a problem.
Here, face me.
No, wait, turn around.
Let me stand in back of you.
No, face me.
- Harry - Calm down.
Do I seem tense? Hey! - Champagne cork.
- Oh.
- Oh, wait, I know why you're nervous.
- I'm not nervous.
- Are you accepting if we win? - Wes had Danny and I flip a coin.
- You'll be great.
- We won't win.
We shouldn't be going, anyway.
- Let me start again.
Yes.
- You know what you're doing? Really.
- Think it's early? - It's early for an awards show.
I think it's too early to be going on air Friday night.
And I really think it's too early for you to be making out with Luke in the hallway.
You broke up with me.
Twice before, you broke up with me.
Time before that, I broke up with you.
Time before that you hit me in the face with a wrench.
Well, you seem to be recovering nicely with Miss Hawaiian Tropic.
- She's a smart girl.
- That right? Well, she doesn't think Adam and Eve rode on a dinosaur through the Garden of Eden.
- Matt? - Yeah.
I'm bored.
Are we going to the InStyle after party? Yes, yes, we are.
We have to wait for it to start.
- Well, when does it start? - After.
The awards.
- Why don't you get some more champagne? Lots more.
Shut up! I'll be right there.
Okay.
Okay.
"Matt, I'm bored.
" "Harriet, Matt got promoted to co-exec instead of me.
He's my boss, so to piss him off, I'm gonna take you to the Emmys.
" You think Luke's back with me to make you mad? - Yes.
- Sure.
Why would anyone do anything except to bother you? - Music stopped.
- This isn't quite right.
- Yeah.
- Can we staple it or something? - Or shove it in your mouth? - It's too early for any of this.
I can't think of what jokes to write while steel is still smoldering in downtown Manhattan.
- Guys - I don't care about the coin toss.
- You're accepting if we win.
- I don't think it'll happen.
- I think they'll cancel it again.
- Why? The war just started.
Hey, I'm looking for Jordan McDeere.
She's a pregnant woman, very pretty.
She'll be fine.
Down the hall, second door on the right.
Second door on the right.
Thanks.
- What's going on? - I hoped you'd tell me.
There's no TV here.
Nobody knows about Tom's brother.
- What's going on with you? - Nothing.
- We're in an emergency room.
- The cord's wrapped around the baby's neck.
- What? - But it's okay.
- The baby's choking? - It's okay, it's not unusual.
How we doing? What's going on? - Are you Daniel Tripp? - Yes.
Okay, the baby's having decelerations.
His heart rate should be - Her heart rate, it's a girl.
Excuse me.
- Her heart rate is only 80 beats per minute.
- But the cord is wrapped around her neck? - That causes the decelerations.
- So, what do we do about that? Nothing.
We just monitor the situation.
- The baby's choking.
- Just a little bit.
- Just a little bit? - Danny.
And Jordan's blood pressure is very high, so shouting isn't gonna help.
So we just wait? Yeah.
Baby's gonna untangle himself.
- Herself.
- It's okay.
- How old are you? - I'll be 29 tomorrow.
Oh, congratulations, but I'm gonna call a real doctor.
- Well - Honey.
if I wasn't, they wouldn't let me work here.
- Heh.
What's your specialty gonna be? - Sports medicine.
Okay, well, if she tears a hamstring, we'll give you a call.
In the meantime, I'd like someone who built their beach house in Malibu with the babies they've delivered.
Suit yourself.
- Can't just reach in there and untangle it? - Danny.
- Billy Crystal did it in City Slickers.
- That was a cow.
I'll keep checking on you.
- What's happening with Tom? - Hang on one second.
Hey, it's me.
Call Ted Goldstein, tell him it's an emergency.
- Tell him to call me right away.
Thanks.
- How's Tom? He's scared to death.
If possible, they shouldn't broadcast that it's the brother of a celebrity.
Somebody already did.
Jack's trying to shut it down.
Are you in pain? No.
Well, why's your blood pressure high? God, I don't know.
Let's try and think.
Uh-huh.
No.
It's up on your air right now.
- I'm looking at it.
- Alan, get it down.
I'm looking at it, Bill.
- Get it down now.
No, listen! You got his picture mortised, you got it chyroned.
You got B-roll of him walking on the red carpets.
You got a screen grab of him with Lindsay Lohan.
Everybody! Get it down.
What's with you over there? - You'll see what you can do? He'll see? - Give me that.
Here.
It's not hard.
You press a button, you go to commercial and beat the exec producing this before I do it for you.
You'll get this guy dragged through the streets.
The video message first aired approximately 40 minutes ago on Aljazeera television and has since been rebroadcast on all the major news channels.
- Forensic experts in both the CIA - Yeah.
Yeah, see what you can do.
The consensus seems to be that since it's out there already, it's out there.
That's such crap, Howard.
Nicholas Berg, Danny Pearl.
We managed to keep a lid on the things we needed to shut up about.
This is because they found a way to make the war fun again.
- Excuse me, Tom.
- There are three of them.
- I'm sorry? - It says "brother of Jeter held hostage.
" Corey Smith and Herman Valdez, they have brothers too.
- I know, I've met them.
- Yeah, I know.
I know.
- Reports are that all major Taliban - Is there any point to this? - They have it already? - Yeah.
They have it.
All right, tell me something that I've always wanted to know.
Why isn't there 24-hour CIA surveillance of every employee of Aljazeera? Somebody's getting these tapes to them.
Can't make a movie then broadcast it without knowing how it got there.
I've got a different question.
- What? - Didn't we win this war once already? Whoa! Whoa! It's a rout, baby! - Let's sit down! In 24 hours, we knocked down the airport in Kandahar eviscerated Taliban command and control.
Had 50 out of 50 Tomahawk cruise missiles hit their targets including the one that blew up Mullah Omar's compound! - Let's everybody sit down.
We wiped out their air defense.
These guys are getting to see what a B1 bomber looks like up close.
- Please! This whole thing is such a load.
Excuse me? - It's a load.
- Can we not? The fact that we got attacked or the fact that we're fighting back? It's about oil.
It's always about oil.
We invade it shuts production in Afghanistan, gas prices go through the roof.
- Oh, Lord.
- You disagree? Yes.
And it's not just because there's no oil in Afghanistan.
We made five perfectly reasonable demands.
Like shutting down their terrorist camps and handing over Osama.
None of which were met.
- Looks like we'll do it ourselves.
Thank you! I don't think it'll be as psychically satisfying as you think.
Afghanistan, after you bomb it looks the same as Afghanistan before it gets bombed.
But that's not our problem right now.
- What is? - How do we do a show Friday night? - What are we supposed to joke about? - Them.
- Who? - The bad guys.
Screw P.
C.
We do a whole show mercilessly skewering Arabs.
- Wanna talk about psychically satisfying? - Okay.
- You like it? - No.
- Why not? - For one thing Arabs aren't from Afghanistan, Afghans are.
And it looks like the F16s are doing a perfectly good job skewering them.
- I don't think they need our comedy backup.
- Come on, Matty, the whole show.
"Good Morning, Cave Dwellers," "Judge Mohammed.
" - "One of My Wives is Missing.
" - "Fatah Knows Best.
" "The 72 Virgin Party Chat Line.
" "The Flogging Show," "Let's All Rape.
" It's what we wanna see right now.
Listen, some of those ideas are good, Luke, and we all know that rape is funny.
- I didn't mean - This is new territory for me.
P.
C.
Or not, I can think of plenty of jokes that are funny.
I just can't think of any that aren't in bad taste.
So let's just take a breath and figure out what our season premiere is.
Where have you been? - Sorry I'm late.
And where were you yesterday? Oh, yeah, what happened at the Emmys? Did we win? What happened at the? They were canceled again.
Where have you been? Why are you almost smiling? Because I'm a father.
Jessica had the baby Saturday night.
Millicent Jean McAnuff.
Millie.
Hey.
- What's going on? - Nothing funny this week.
- I mean, with the cigar.
Andy McAnuff's wife had a baby.
Do I know Andy McAnuff? - Nice guy, never smiles.
- Oh, yeah.
Except today.
It was nice.
He was at the hospital all weekend, didn't know anything.
It was like a miracle, So, what's your problem? That's a conversation-starter where your from? You came out muttering nothing's funny this week.
- Nothing is funny this week.
- None of the pitches were good? No, there were some from your boyfriend that I'm sure would incite lynchings.
- You know what your problem is? - No, tell me.
- You can't make fun of Bush.
- I don't wanna.
- You're dying to.
- No, I'm not.
I'm really not.
It's killing you that Americans are united behind the president.
It isn't, I'm one of them.
And you can't make fun of Christians either.
No Bush, no Christians, what will he do? - Why can't I make fun of Christians? - We're the good guys, you know it.
All right, you and Luke need to go to a library or something, take a class.
Because Luke thinks Afghanistan is an Arab country.
You think it was the Christians that were attacked on September 11 th.
Soon as the war's over, which will be in about 15 minutes I'm sure there won't be a lack of material coming from either the president or Christians.
- What are you doing? - Telling Wes there's nothing funny this week.
Hi.
- Hi.
Let me ask you something.
What's the strangest reason anyone's ever given you for breaking a date? What? I think it's funny you think anyone's ever broken a date with me.
Something's happened here.
I know.
Right now, I gotta write an introduction for the West Coast feed.
- I wanna put something in your ear.
- What? My firm has offices around the world including Latin America, where kidnapping is an industry.
We consult on K&R insurance, that's kidnap and ransom.
Companies take out insurance on employees getting kidnapped? That's where they get the ransom money.
How does the ransom money get to the kidnappers? A company you've never heard of called Trask Security.
We use them in Colombia, but they're well-connected.
- Who are they? - Former CIA.
Former Special Ops, former KGB, Secret Service.
- They deal with the locals.
- Deal with them, how? They bring a bag of money and they get the guy back.
Well, this isn't a kidnapping.
Yeah, I doubt it'd work in this case, but I wanted to mention it.
They're not asking for money.
Nobody's offered any yet either.
- Is this legal? - A lot of it.
- I gotta write this thing now.
- Okay.
Just for the sake of whatever, would you be able to make a couple of phone calls and find out more? Yeah.
- I gotta write this a minute.
- You know, it wouldn't be cheap.
- Just out of curiosity - You got a million dollars cash? Yeah.
Okay, well, then, when this is over, we're definitely going out.
It's Mary.
I wanna talk to Casey in London.
See, it all works out.
Okay.
- That was Jack.
- I know.
Maybe no more phone calls right now.
Toothpaste's out of the tube with Tom.
He wants to know if you'll say something at the West Coast feed.
We do.
Matt's working on it.
What were you trying to tell me at the party? - About what? - About the ratings issue.
- We're gonna fight about ratings? - It's not like there's anything else.
What were you trying to tell me? - I'm the one who's - Sure.
- We'll talk about what I wanna talk about.
- Yeah, it's not like the other times.
Ha, ha.
- Really, now? Wanna argue with me now? - No.
Argue with me if I'm asking.
What were you trying to tell me? I wasn't trying to tell you anything, I was trying to not tell you things.
- About Matt and Harriet? - About nothing.
Is Matt gonna be unable to write every time Harriet breaks up to go out with Luke? He turns it around by himself, don't worry.
He turns it around.
He always does.
Just like that baby's gonna do.
- We're gonna revisit this ratings issue.
- Oh, good, can we? By the way, it's not like Tom's brother being a hostage is gonna make us all funnier over there this week.
This is the fourth day of Operation Enduring Freedom.
You know what you're getting Andy? What are you getting Andy for a baby present? - What are you talking about? - Andy and his wife had a baby Saturday.
- Who's Andy? - On the writing staff.
Yeah, I really don't like to get involved.
- With the ink.
- Yeah.
He and his wife had a baby right in the middle of everything.
- A little girl named Millicent.
- Nice name.
Yeah, Millie.
She's the girl next door.
Yeah, or a waitress in a diner.
- You'll not ruin this for me.
- Ruin? He was unaware of anything because he'd been at the hospital.
- He came in - Who are we talking about? Andy.
He came in and changed the whole temperature of the room.
Between the Towers and the bombing and Luke hunting for Arabs while not sleeping with my ex-girlfriend, little Millicent saved my whole world.
What are you getting her for that? The pink short-sleeved tennis dress with the matching bloomers.
- That's nice.
Oh.
- Yeah, and the moon and stars nightlight.
Let's go.
Thanks for seeing us, Jack.
Ordinarily, it would be Wes who would be here.
How is he? They don't want him to get out of bed yet.
- They have any idea what might caused it? - They don't.
Something to do with three packs of cigarettes a day for the last 40 years? According to the tobacco companies, no.
- Ha, ha.
You're a funny guy, Danny.
- Thanks.
I'm Matt, he's Danny.
- Sorry.
- Ordinarily, Wes would be here.
And ordinarily, he'd be talking to the network president, but you keep firing.
So, what can I do for you? We wanna postpone the season premiere.
We don't think we should come on on Friday.
- No choice.
- Really? Twenty-four-hour news coverage is expensive.
No commercials means no revenue.
No programming means no platform to promote the fall season.
- We're bleeding money.
- We're not indifferent.
- We've gotta get in business.
- We're a comedy show.
- We don't wanna be inappropriate.
- You're not.
You can serve your country.
- You know what'd piss off the Taliban most? - Defeat? - Again, Danny, you're a funny guy.
- And again, he's Danny.
A bunch of Jews entertaining America.
See, but I think that's gonna piss off Americans too.
Go back to work.
It's not like these guys aren't shooting back.
U.
S.
Troops are in danger.
It's hard to know what's funny right now.
- I appreciate your problem but nonetheless - We have a new cast member, Tom Jeter.
His younger brother joined the Air Force on September 12th.
- It's hard to ask Tom - If he joined Air Force on September 12th then he's gonna be in basic training till this thing is finished.
He's gonna be stationed in Bermuda.
- Jack, I don't - Show's not gonna be good this week.
It can't be.
Doesn't have to be good, just has to be on.
- And no taking shots at America.
- I don't want to, that's the point.
Good.
- Jack - Danny! - It's Matt.
Wes is recovering from a heart attack.
You two are in charge of the most valuable property this network has ever owned.
You don't think I know your damn names? - Well, it seems like you don't.
- And I know your politics.
And I share them except for the loony irrational stuff.
You don't take shots at Bush.
You don't take shots at America.
Feel free to make fun of Hollywood.
- Hollywood is in America.
- No, it is not.
Then nobody will mind if I stop giving back I'm sorry.
I know the conditions are difficult but we've gotta pick ourselves up off the mat and I'm trusting you both.
All right.
Thanks.
The kid, the brother, he signed up on September 12th? - You believe that? - This thing's gonna be over by dinner.
What do you know? - They lost the battle to keep Tom out of it.
I want you to hear something, it sounds crazy to me but I wanna make sure it sounds crazy before I let it go.
This is Mary Tate.
Her law firm represents the network in the Karen Salisburk suit.
She was telling Who were you on the phone with? - Pakistan.
- This is Cal Shanley, he's our director.
- You can speak freely in front of him.
Hi.
- Mary Tate.
I was telling him your firm works internationally with Trask Security.
- K&R? Yeah.
Mostly in Latin America, right? They have an office in Islamabad since the war started.
- What's their take? - They won't say without Tom on the phone.
I won't put anything into Tom's ear till I hear more because this is sounding like a TV movie.
- Miss Tate, what are they saying? - Mary.
They have teams in Kandahar working private security.
They know about the abduction and worked a couple this year.
They think it's the same militia that attacked a truck bringing medical supplies to Musa Qala.
What happened to those guys? They kidnapped the driver, a Turkmenistan national an Italian aid worker and a French contractor.
What did Trask do? They sprung the Italian for some money but the French contractor got killed.
- And the driver? - Killed.
Before or after the money was delivered? After.
- After.
- Yeah.
Why kidnap airmen? They know the military's not gonna negotiate.
That's why they don't think there's chance of a money exchange.
I wanna know exactly how this works.
I wanna know how dangerous it is.
I wanna know their success versus catastrophic failure rate.
They're not gonna talk about any of that with anyone but Tom or his parents.
But with their expenses, their fees, a militia that's retaken half the country and size of the ransom now that they know who Mark's brother is it's gonna be a lot more than a million dollars.
Probably closer to 10.
You know someone who can get their hands on that kind of cash? We need to find Jack Rudolph.
What about booking more country acts? Why the hell hasn't Goldstein called me back? - Danny? - Yeah.
The musical guests, how about booking more country acts? - Are we really talking about this? - And younger guest hosts.
Well, tonight's was Jenna Fischer.
She's, like, 15.
Maybe if we'd put a cowboy hat on her head.
You know what we could do? Your own network research says that the number one audience manipulator among women is a pregnancy in jeopardy.
- How about if? - God.
- You all right? - I think I'm gonna be sick.
Nurse! It's okay.
- It's okay.
Nurse! - Something's wrong.
I'm feeling a little nauseous.
- What's happening? She's nauseated.
Here you go, dear.
- Is the baby choking.
- No.
Are you having headaches? - Yes.
- You are? - How long? - How long they last? - How long you been having? - Few days.
- Still 180/110.
- Ah! - Get me magnesium sulfate.
- Talk to me.
- Signs of pre-eclampsia.
- What's that mean? - She could start having seizures.
- God.
- Magnesium sulfate will take care of that.
- The drugs hurt the baby? No.
- She's gotta have it now.
- There isn't someone more senior here? - No.
Then I think we'll wait - She's gotta have this.
It's not a high-tech drug.
It's magnesium sulfate, been around for a hundred years.
I'll stick it in her IV, it'll reduce electrical activity.
If I don't, she'll seize.
The cord'll be the least problem.
- Danny.
- Do it.
Do it.
Do it now.
You and the baby are gonna be fine.
- Once she untangles herself from that cord.
- Yeah.
I got two meth overdoses and a knife wound down the hall.
I'll be back.
- You'd make a good producer.
- That's too much stress for me.
- You know this guy? - I'm sorry, captain? Do you know this guy? - No.
- He's good.
- Yeah.
- What's the name of this singer? That's Gran Bel Fisher, he was tonight's musical guest.
He's coming in, so keep this area clear.
Yes.
Manny, Reuben, back those folks up, please.
Get them out of the hall, get them inside.
You understand if there's any press in here, Lt.
Pierce is gonna have to shoot them.
- Sure.
- I'm kidding.
Tom.
Hey, Tom? Hey, Tom.
Tom.
It's okay, George.
Tom Jeter? - Yes, sir.
Capt.
David Boyle.
Mark's commanding officer at Nellis Air Force Base.
- Lt.
Jim Pierce, he's our chaplain.
- Is this protocol? - I'm sorry? - This visit.
Other guys, they've got families.
Valdez and Smith getting this treatment? Yeah, there's I assure you the families of the other two - It's protocol.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
- Tom.
We kept the party going so news wouldn't get out that it's your brother.
- It's out.
- Yeah, I know.
That's why I wrote an introduction for Harriet to go live for the West Coast feed just saying what happened and offering our prayers.
I figured since no one's watching the show anymore, anyway.
Hey, there's no way this ends bad.
There's no way.
It's not that kind of story, okay? Okay.
Okay, you all have my office, which is upstairs, so follow me.
- Where's Simon? Meeting my parents at the airport.
- Tom? - Yeah.
- What's the name of that singer? - What? Who's that singer on the TV? What does it matter? - You were with him two hours ago.
- Can you remember his name? - Am I being tested? Capt.
Boyle just wants to gauge the level of your trauma.
The level I'm fine.
I don't have a knife at my throat.
- Anyone been in touch? - Why don't we wait? Has anyone been in touch with him, yes or no? - I don't believe this.
- Gran Bel Fisher.
- What? - That's the name of the singer.
All right.
Has anyone been? Some communication with the regiment an hour and 10 minutes before the incident.
Mark was a part of a Provisional Reconstruction Team I know what he's doing.
I don't care if there was communication before - You do care.
It helps us with the location - All right, yeah, you're right.
Do you have the location? - We can't tell you that.
- I'm not asking where.
- I'm asking if you have it! - We can't tell you that, Tom.
Tommy.
- I messed up your control room.
- Come here.
Nobody's going anywhere tonight, we're all right here.
Thanks.
Is Harriet around? She went out dancing.
She's downstairs praying her ass off.
All right.
Okay.
Matt? Matt? Jack, we need to speak to you a minute.
- Is there a rescue mission underway? Tom.
Every single thing we do is for the sake of the safety of Valdez, Smith and Staff Sergeant Jeter, including not telling you anything.
How bad is it that they know I'm his brother? Could've lived without that.
- I did a sketch tonight.
- I know.
It was "Mohammed, the Thin-Skinned Prophet.
" I know.
Could've lived without that too.
Due respect, captain, I don't think comedy's what got him in trouble tonight.
- You know what I'm saying? - Yes, sir, I do.
Want a drink? - No.
- I'll help myself.
The leader of another country or something like that.
Tell him about the success rate.
There were 411 incidents in 2006.
Trask handled 88 of them, 13 transactions failed before money changed hands and 18 after.
- Compared to the military? - Can't compare.
- Trask doesn't have any hard figure - Because they're secret.
They estimate the military's been successful three out of 50 times since 2001.
They make those estimates because they're selling something.
- They're selling they can get people out.
- Civilians.
- That's why you can't compare numbers.
- He's right.
Mary, has Trask ever handled the kidnapping of an American soldier? All right, guys, he's not kidnapped.
He's in uniform, he's a prisoner of war.
He's not.
He's a hostage and they're making demands.
Willing to release under conditions.
- Yes, that the U.
S.
Army surrenders.
- They know how to counteroffer.
The money we give them will never go towards capturing or killing other U.
S.
Soldiers.
That money's never gonna be used to make bombs.
- They'll spend it on science books and milk.
- Get them on the phone.
- Jack.
- I just wanna talk to them.
Yeah.
Okay.
- Bye.
- Any news? They've got a couple of Air Force officers with Tom now.
- I love you.
- Hmm.
I'm glad about that.
Thank you for coming after me.
You came after me.
- Mm-mm.
I did not.
- I'd given up.
You stuck a note under my watch, said, "I'm crazy about you.
" - And how fast did you come running.
- No, I was just being polite.
- Jordan? - Yeah.
We got the labs, they confirmed pre-eclampsia.
We'll get an O.
R.
Prepped for surgery.
- What kind of surgery? - We're gonna deliver the baby.
- Wait - She's only 37 weeks.
- Heart rate's 68.
- It's dropping.
We wanna do this now.
The books say that the last couple of weeks are important for respiratory development.
Asthma's gotta be low on our list of priorities.
She could suffer brain damage and so could Jordan.
A specialist is on her way and we're paging her doctor.
We'll need you to sign forms.
In a few minutes, we'll prep you.
Okay.
It's all gonna be over soon.
"It's all gonna be over soon"? The encouraging words they give you when you're Marry me.
- What? - Will you marry me? - What? - I want you to be engaged to be married to me before you go in there.
- Danny.
- Biology's just biology.
This is my daughter.
I want you to be my wife.
I want this to be my family forever.
No matter what happens.
Honey, I love you for saying that, but you can't just suddenly decide - I didn't just suddenly decide.
- You're proposing in an emergency room.
You haven't had time to think this through Oh, my God.
Will you marry me? How long have you been carrying that around in your pocket? Couple of weeks.
See? And you were undecided.
- And now that I'm in the hospital - I was not undecided.
I didn't know if you were gonna say yes.
- That's the risk you run! - Jordan Are you incapable of doing anything in a normal way? Well, you make it pretty hard.
- Jordan.
- Yeah.
It'll be a great story to tell our kid.
I wouldn't mind knowing something about the color and clarity - A three-carat diamond with F clarity - Yes.
- What? - God, yes.
Are you kidding me? Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Give me the ring.
Did it ever occur to you to check my ring size? - Ma'am, we'll bring you in preop.
- We can get it tightened.
- Hey, just how fat did you think I was? - Really? Now? I'm engaged.
I'm engaged.
- Does that ever just feel like busy work? - No.
We have had this fight for eight years, haven't we? Yes, and you've lost every time.
Mary Tate is upstairs talking to people on the phone who do things.
And you're kneeling and praying as if that's action.
- It is.
- Harry If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves and pray then I will hear them from heaven and forgive their sins and heal their land.
You are believing in a fairy tale.
I'm believing that God protects his children.
Then why the hell didn't he give the hijackers massive coronaries before they reached for the box cutters? I can't explain God's ways to you because I can't understand them myself.
No one can.
Well, isn't that convenient for God? I'd imagine if I were God, I'd make things as convenient for myself as possible.
Do you understand that this represents an inexplicable lapse of common sense? It's not a weakness to have faith.
It's not a weakness to take responsibility either.
I don't disapprove of what you believe.
- You think I'll burn in hell for what I believe.
- I do worry about that.
- The boat saved him.
- God sent the boat.
Man built the boat.
If anything, God sent the flood.
Isn't it possible that Mary got pregnant by another man and Joseph stepped up so that his wife wouldn't get stoned to death by the village? No.
It's more likely that an angel inseminated her and she gave birth to a magical wizard who could rise from the dead? He's not David Copperfield.
Why do you have to believe in the divinity of Jesus Christ to know that robbing a bank is wrong, picking someone off the ground is right? Like asking why you need to believe in gravity to know that if you throw a rock, it'll hit somebody.
Science isn't something you believe in.
Science has to be proven, or don't call it science.
It'd be great if you knew something about Christians before - It's a fairy tale! - No, it's not! We've been having this fight for six months.
We've been having this fight for two years! We have been having this fight in two different millennia now! You really would've thought one of us would have won by this point.
Oh, Matt.
I just love you, is all.
It's okay that you're a heathen.
Well, I appreciate that.
Come pray with me.
I'll show you how, you'll learn something new.
Hello? What's going on? What is it? All right, I'm on my way over.
Jordan's having an emergency C-section.
We'll take my car.
Matt? Show me something.
I can't feel the baby kick.
- What? - I haven't felt her kick all day.
If I drink orange juice, I can get her to.
Three American soldiers were ambushed on a road in Paktika, Afghanistan.
One of them is Mark Jeter.
These things turn out okay.
They said they're demanding Drive Jordan to Hollywood Memorial emergency room.
She'll tell you why on the way.
What do you wanna do now? - Is it the ratings? - Too early.
- We're not even up on the West Coast yet.
- Then are we just being summarily fired? - Is everybody here? - Yeah, we're missing Tom and Simon.
Hang on.
Hang on a second.
- All right.
Yeah, listen.
You guys are scaring the hell out of everybody.
All right.
- About 20 minutes ago, we found out It's on the news, we found out that Tom's brother was one of three airmen captured on a road out of Kandahar.
- There's videos, there are hostage demands.
- Where's Tom? Jack took him over to NBS.
We'll shut down the party - I don't think that's good.
- Why? The news isn't reporting one of them is the brother of a celebrity.
- Longer we can wait for that to get out - He's right.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah.
Let the party be a party.
Nobody says anything.
- I wanna talk to Tom.
- Soon as he's done getting some answers.
The video message first aired approximately 40 minutes ago on Aljazeera television and has since been rebroadcast on all major news channels.
Tom? - Yeah? Simon Stiles is making a lot of noise out there.
- He's a friend, can he come in? - It's just for family.
- He's family.
When did it happen? Twenty-two hours ago.
- Reporting it now? We just found out about it when Aljazeera put up the tape.
- CentCom knew about it before the tape? - Jack, we can deal with that another time.
Your brother and two others were transporting fuel from Kandahar to the village of Golam Kot when his truck was ambushed.
- By Taliban fighters? Yeah.
We know the tape is legitimate? DOD's verified the identification of all three soldiers.
- They're making three demands.
- Airmen.
- I'm sorry? - They're not soldiers.
They're in the United States Air Force.
They're airmen.
I'm sorry, son.
Airmen.
- They're making three demands.
- Yeah? U.
S.
And U.
N.
Forces leave the province of Paktika, Afghanistan.
- No problem.
- U.
S.
Will agree to no longer build women Oh, my God.
Damn! Including Mark Jeter, younger brother of Tom Jeter - Are they out of their minds? Jack Howard, they've gotta shut their mouths now.
Set up a conference call with every news director you can wake up.
- We're telling them things they don't know.
Jordan McDeere, I need her now.
How many hours has it been since the baby moved? At least six.
I've been drinking orange The last time you saw your OB/G YN? - Two weeks ago.
- Everything checked out? - Yeah.
What's wrong? - Probably nothing.
- Diabetes? - No.
- Allergies? - Shellfish.
Doctor? - You ever terminated a pregnancy, Jordan? - Yes, in 1999.
Would that have an? - Were there any complications? - Doctor? - No.
- Yeah? - Her blood pressure.
- Take it again.
- I took it three times.
What's wrong? Your blood pressure's 180/110.
- What does that mean? - Something's going on.
- Let's get you to a sonogram machine.
- God.
Any reason why your blood pressure would be so high? I'm the president of a network.
We're having ratings problems.
I'm fighting with my boyfriend who's the sweetest man.
And the little brother of a cast member has been taken hostage in Afghanistan.
Have anyone that you can call? Family or friends? - Danny Tripp.
- The father? No, but he wants to be.
Damn it! What? Local news let it out it's Tom's brother.
Jack's trying to shut them down.
They're beaten up.
This one's got an ax.
Just cool it.
STEFFl: Danny.
- Not now.
- It's Jordan.
What are they saying? I'm coming.
Where's he going? Jordan's at the emergency room.
Why is she at the emergency room? Uh, she hasn't felt the baby kick in a while.
All right.
Almighty God, father of all mercy and giver of solace - Hi.
- Hey.
I just spoke to Tom.
- And? - Well - How is he? - He's all right.
There's a procedure where a commander and a chaplain and a casualty officer come to the family and wait with them.
Does he know anything at all yet? Mark's got a couple things working in his favor.
He's a captured soldier rather than a civilian hostage.
As a captured soldier he's got the U.
S.
Armed Forces working towards his rescue.
- Are they trying to rescue him? Is that? - Not gonna tell Tom or anybody else.
What's the other thing working in his favor? - He's not Jewish.
- Wow.
So if it was you over there instead of Mark They'd be FedExing my head to my parents now.
Well, if it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
We shouldn't be laughing.
Well, crying doesn't do me any good.
Didn't we have this fight once before? Haven't we had every fight at least once before? Seriously.
I remember this one.
But we were on the other side.
It was the day the war started in Afghanistan.
- Day of the Emmys.
- Day the war started.
They were the same day.
They postponed the Emmys till October because of 9/11.
Yeah.
And we all met here and were getting drunk before we got into the cars and went to the Shrine, you were all fuhtutzed, because Why? Maybe it had something to do with being attacked by terrorists.
No, it was because you couldn't tie your tie.
Does anybody know how to tie a bow tie? Anybody? Excuse me.
You wanna stop kissing my ex-girlfriend for a second? - Sorry.
- Either of you know how to tie a bow tie? - Mine's a clip-on.
- I can do it.
- You want some more champagne? - Yes.
Okay.
Come here.
- Why didn't you just get a clip-on? - Because I'm from the East.
- What does that mean? - It means a lot.
But you don't know how to tie it.
I work in a building with 14 professional wardrobe mistresses.
I figured it wouldn't be a problem.
Here, face me.
No, wait, turn around.
Let me stand in back of you.
No, face me.
- Harry - Calm down.
Do I seem tense? Hey! - Champagne cork.
- Oh.
- Oh, wait, I know why you're nervous.
- I'm not nervous.
- Are you accepting if we win? - Wes had Danny and I flip a coin.
- You'll be great.
- We won't win.
We shouldn't be going, anyway.
- Let me start again.
Yes.
- You know what you're doing? Really.
- Think it's early? - It's early for an awards show.
I think it's too early to be going on air Friday night.
And I really think it's too early for you to be making out with Luke in the hallway.
You broke up with me.
Twice before, you broke up with me.
Time before that, I broke up with you.
Time before that you hit me in the face with a wrench.
Well, you seem to be recovering nicely with Miss Hawaiian Tropic.
- She's a smart girl.
- That right? Well, she doesn't think Adam and Eve rode on a dinosaur through the Garden of Eden.
- Matt? - Yeah.
I'm bored.
Are we going to the InStyle after party? Yes, yes, we are.
We have to wait for it to start.
- Well, when does it start? - After.
The awards.
- Why don't you get some more champagne? Lots more.
Shut up! I'll be right there.
Okay.
Okay.
"Matt, I'm bored.
" "Harriet, Matt got promoted to co-exec instead of me.
He's my boss, so to piss him off, I'm gonna take you to the Emmys.
" You think Luke's back with me to make you mad? - Yes.
- Sure.
Why would anyone do anything except to bother you? - Music stopped.
- This isn't quite right.
- Yeah.
- Can we staple it or something? - Or shove it in your mouth? - It's too early for any of this.
I can't think of what jokes to write while steel is still smoldering in downtown Manhattan.
- Guys - I don't care about the coin toss.
- You're accepting if we win.
- I don't think it'll happen.
- I think they'll cancel it again.
- Why? The war just started.
Hey, I'm looking for Jordan McDeere.
She's a pregnant woman, very pretty.
She'll be fine.
Down the hall, second door on the right.
Second door on the right.
Thanks.
- What's going on? - I hoped you'd tell me.
There's no TV here.
Nobody knows about Tom's brother.
- What's going on with you? - Nothing.
- We're in an emergency room.
- The cord's wrapped around the baby's neck.
- What? - But it's okay.
- The baby's choking? - It's okay, it's not unusual.
How we doing? What's going on? - Are you Daniel Tripp? - Yes.
Okay, the baby's having decelerations.
His heart rate should be - Her heart rate, it's a girl.
Excuse me.
- Her heart rate is only 80 beats per minute.
- But the cord is wrapped around her neck? - That causes the decelerations.
- So, what do we do about that? Nothing.
We just monitor the situation.
- The baby's choking.
- Just a little bit.
- Just a little bit? - Danny.
And Jordan's blood pressure is very high, so shouting isn't gonna help.
So we just wait? Yeah.
Baby's gonna untangle himself.
- Herself.
- It's okay.
- How old are you? - I'll be 29 tomorrow.
Oh, congratulations, but I'm gonna call a real doctor.
- Well - Honey.
if I wasn't, they wouldn't let me work here.
- Heh.
What's your specialty gonna be? - Sports medicine.
Okay, well, if she tears a hamstring, we'll give you a call.
In the meantime, I'd like someone who built their beach house in Malibu with the babies they've delivered.
Suit yourself.
- Can't just reach in there and untangle it? - Danny.
- Billy Crystal did it in City Slickers.
- That was a cow.
I'll keep checking on you.
- What's happening with Tom? - Hang on one second.
Hey, it's me.
Call Ted Goldstein, tell him it's an emergency.
- Tell him to call me right away.
Thanks.
- How's Tom? He's scared to death.
If possible, they shouldn't broadcast that it's the brother of a celebrity.
Somebody already did.
Jack's trying to shut it down.
Are you in pain? No.
Well, why's your blood pressure high? God, I don't know.
Let's try and think.
Uh-huh.
No.
It's up on your air right now.
- I'm looking at it.
- Alan, get it down.
I'm looking at it, Bill.
- Get it down now.
No, listen! You got his picture mortised, you got it chyroned.
You got B-roll of him walking on the red carpets.
You got a screen grab of him with Lindsay Lohan.
Everybody! Get it down.
What's with you over there? - You'll see what you can do? He'll see? - Give me that.
Here.
It's not hard.
You press a button, you go to commercial and beat the exec producing this before I do it for you.
You'll get this guy dragged through the streets.
The video message first aired approximately 40 minutes ago on Aljazeera television and has since been rebroadcast on all the major news channels.
- Forensic experts in both the CIA - Yeah.
Yeah, see what you can do.
The consensus seems to be that since it's out there already, it's out there.
That's such crap, Howard.
Nicholas Berg, Danny Pearl.
We managed to keep a lid on the things we needed to shut up about.
This is because they found a way to make the war fun again.
- Excuse me, Tom.
- There are three of them.
- I'm sorry? - It says "brother of Jeter held hostage.
" Corey Smith and Herman Valdez, they have brothers too.
- I know, I've met them.
- Yeah, I know.
I know.
- Reports are that all major Taliban - Is there any point to this? - They have it already? - Yeah.
They have it.
All right, tell me something that I've always wanted to know.
Why isn't there 24-hour CIA surveillance of every employee of Aljazeera? Somebody's getting these tapes to them.
Can't make a movie then broadcast it without knowing how it got there.
I've got a different question.
- What? - Didn't we win this war once already? Whoa! Whoa! It's a rout, baby! - Let's sit down! In 24 hours, we knocked down the airport in Kandahar eviscerated Taliban command and control.
Had 50 out of 50 Tomahawk cruise missiles hit their targets including the one that blew up Mullah Omar's compound! - Let's everybody sit down.
We wiped out their air defense.
These guys are getting to see what a B1 bomber looks like up close.
- Please! This whole thing is such a load.
Excuse me? - It's a load.
- Can we not? The fact that we got attacked or the fact that we're fighting back? It's about oil.
It's always about oil.
We invade it shuts production in Afghanistan, gas prices go through the roof.
- Oh, Lord.
- You disagree? Yes.
And it's not just because there's no oil in Afghanistan.
We made five perfectly reasonable demands.
Like shutting down their terrorist camps and handing over Osama.
None of which were met.
- Looks like we'll do it ourselves.
Thank you! I don't think it'll be as psychically satisfying as you think.
Afghanistan, after you bomb it looks the same as Afghanistan before it gets bombed.
But that's not our problem right now.
- What is? - How do we do a show Friday night? - What are we supposed to joke about? - Them.
- Who? - The bad guys.
Screw P.
C.
We do a whole show mercilessly skewering Arabs.
- Wanna talk about psychically satisfying? - Okay.
- You like it? - No.
- Why not? - For one thing Arabs aren't from Afghanistan, Afghans are.
And it looks like the F16s are doing a perfectly good job skewering them.
- I don't think they need our comedy backup.
- Come on, Matty, the whole show.
"Good Morning, Cave Dwellers," "Judge Mohammed.
" - "One of My Wives is Missing.
" - "Fatah Knows Best.
" "The 72 Virgin Party Chat Line.
" "The Flogging Show," "Let's All Rape.
" It's what we wanna see right now.
Listen, some of those ideas are good, Luke, and we all know that rape is funny.
- I didn't mean - This is new territory for me.
P.
C.
Or not, I can think of plenty of jokes that are funny.
I just can't think of any that aren't in bad taste.
So let's just take a breath and figure out what our season premiere is.
Where have you been? - Sorry I'm late.
And where were you yesterday? Oh, yeah, what happened at the Emmys? Did we win? What happened at the? They were canceled again.
Where have you been? Why are you almost smiling? Because I'm a father.
Jessica had the baby Saturday night.
Millicent Jean McAnuff.
Millie.
Hey.
- What's going on? - Nothing funny this week.
- I mean, with the cigar.
Andy McAnuff's wife had a baby.
Do I know Andy McAnuff? - Nice guy, never smiles.
- Oh, yeah.
Except today.
It was nice.
He was at the hospital all weekend, didn't know anything.
It was like a miracle, So, what's your problem? That's a conversation-starter where your from? You came out muttering nothing's funny this week.
- Nothing is funny this week.
- None of the pitches were good? No, there were some from your boyfriend that I'm sure would incite lynchings.
- You know what your problem is? - No, tell me.
- You can't make fun of Bush.
- I don't wanna.
- You're dying to.
- No, I'm not.
I'm really not.
It's killing you that Americans are united behind the president.
It isn't, I'm one of them.
And you can't make fun of Christians either.
No Bush, no Christians, what will he do? - Why can't I make fun of Christians? - We're the good guys, you know it.
All right, you and Luke need to go to a library or something, take a class.
Because Luke thinks Afghanistan is an Arab country.
You think it was the Christians that were attacked on September 11 th.
Soon as the war's over, which will be in about 15 minutes I'm sure there won't be a lack of material coming from either the president or Christians.
- What are you doing? - Telling Wes there's nothing funny this week.
Hi.
- Hi.
Let me ask you something.
What's the strangest reason anyone's ever given you for breaking a date? What? I think it's funny you think anyone's ever broken a date with me.
Something's happened here.
I know.
Right now, I gotta write an introduction for the West Coast feed.
- I wanna put something in your ear.
- What? My firm has offices around the world including Latin America, where kidnapping is an industry.
We consult on K&R insurance, that's kidnap and ransom.
Companies take out insurance on employees getting kidnapped? That's where they get the ransom money.
How does the ransom money get to the kidnappers? A company you've never heard of called Trask Security.
We use them in Colombia, but they're well-connected.
- Who are they? - Former CIA.
Former Special Ops, former KGB, Secret Service.
- They deal with the locals.
- Deal with them, how? They bring a bag of money and they get the guy back.
Well, this isn't a kidnapping.
Yeah, I doubt it'd work in this case, but I wanted to mention it.
They're not asking for money.
Nobody's offered any yet either.
- Is this legal? - A lot of it.
- I gotta write this thing now.
- Okay.
Just for the sake of whatever, would you be able to make a couple of phone calls and find out more? Yeah.
- I gotta write this a minute.
- You know, it wouldn't be cheap.
- Just out of curiosity - You got a million dollars cash? Yeah.
Okay, well, then, when this is over, we're definitely going out.
It's Mary.
I wanna talk to Casey in London.
See, it all works out.
Okay.
- That was Jack.
- I know.
Maybe no more phone calls right now.
Toothpaste's out of the tube with Tom.
He wants to know if you'll say something at the West Coast feed.
We do.
Matt's working on it.
What were you trying to tell me at the party? - About what? - About the ratings issue.
- We're gonna fight about ratings? - It's not like there's anything else.
What were you trying to tell me? - I'm the one who's - Sure.
- We'll talk about what I wanna talk about.
- Yeah, it's not like the other times.
Ha, ha.
- Really, now? Wanna argue with me now? - No.
Argue with me if I'm asking.
What were you trying to tell me? I wasn't trying to tell you anything, I was trying to not tell you things.
- About Matt and Harriet? - About nothing.
Is Matt gonna be unable to write every time Harriet breaks up to go out with Luke? He turns it around by himself, don't worry.
He turns it around.
He always does.
Just like that baby's gonna do.
- We're gonna revisit this ratings issue.
- Oh, good, can we? By the way, it's not like Tom's brother being a hostage is gonna make us all funnier over there this week.
This is the fourth day of Operation Enduring Freedom.
You know what you're getting Andy? What are you getting Andy for a baby present? - What are you talking about? - Andy and his wife had a baby Saturday.
- Who's Andy? - On the writing staff.
Yeah, I really don't like to get involved.
- With the ink.
- Yeah.
He and his wife had a baby right in the middle of everything.
- A little girl named Millicent.
- Nice name.
Yeah, Millie.
She's the girl next door.
Yeah, or a waitress in a diner.
- You'll not ruin this for me.
- Ruin? He was unaware of anything because he'd been at the hospital.
- He came in - Who are we talking about? Andy.
He came in and changed the whole temperature of the room.
Between the Towers and the bombing and Luke hunting for Arabs while not sleeping with my ex-girlfriend, little Millicent saved my whole world.
What are you getting her for that? The pink short-sleeved tennis dress with the matching bloomers.
- That's nice.
Oh.
- Yeah, and the moon and stars nightlight.
Let's go.
Thanks for seeing us, Jack.
Ordinarily, it would be Wes who would be here.
How is he? They don't want him to get out of bed yet.
- They have any idea what might caused it? - They don't.
Something to do with three packs of cigarettes a day for the last 40 years? According to the tobacco companies, no.
- Ha, ha.
You're a funny guy, Danny.
- Thanks.
I'm Matt, he's Danny.
- Sorry.
- Ordinarily, Wes would be here.
And ordinarily, he'd be talking to the network president, but you keep firing.
So, what can I do for you? We wanna postpone the season premiere.
We don't think we should come on on Friday.
- No choice.
- Really? Twenty-four-hour news coverage is expensive.
No commercials means no revenue.
No programming means no platform to promote the fall season.
- We're bleeding money.
- We're not indifferent.
- We've gotta get in business.
- We're a comedy show.
- We don't wanna be inappropriate.
- You're not.
You can serve your country.
- You know what'd piss off the Taliban most? - Defeat? - Again, Danny, you're a funny guy.
- And again, he's Danny.
A bunch of Jews entertaining America.
See, but I think that's gonna piss off Americans too.
Go back to work.
It's not like these guys aren't shooting back.
U.
S.
Troops are in danger.
It's hard to know what's funny right now.
- I appreciate your problem but nonetheless - We have a new cast member, Tom Jeter.
His younger brother joined the Air Force on September 12th.
- It's hard to ask Tom - If he joined Air Force on September 12th then he's gonna be in basic training till this thing is finished.
He's gonna be stationed in Bermuda.
- Jack, I don't - Show's not gonna be good this week.
It can't be.
Doesn't have to be good, just has to be on.
- And no taking shots at America.
- I don't want to, that's the point.
Good.
- Jack - Danny! - It's Matt.
Wes is recovering from a heart attack.
You two are in charge of the most valuable property this network has ever owned.
You don't think I know your damn names? - Well, it seems like you don't.
- And I know your politics.
And I share them except for the loony irrational stuff.
You don't take shots at Bush.
You don't take shots at America.
Feel free to make fun of Hollywood.
- Hollywood is in America.
- No, it is not.
Then nobody will mind if I stop giving back I'm sorry.
I know the conditions are difficult but we've gotta pick ourselves up off the mat and I'm trusting you both.
All right.
Thanks.
The kid, the brother, he signed up on September 12th? - You believe that? - This thing's gonna be over by dinner.
What do you know? - They lost the battle to keep Tom out of it.
I want you to hear something, it sounds crazy to me but I wanna make sure it sounds crazy before I let it go.
This is Mary Tate.
Her law firm represents the network in the Karen Salisburk suit.
She was telling Who were you on the phone with? - Pakistan.
- This is Cal Shanley, he's our director.
- You can speak freely in front of him.
Hi.
- Mary Tate.
I was telling him your firm works internationally with Trask Security.
- K&R? Yeah.
Mostly in Latin America, right? They have an office in Islamabad since the war started.
- What's their take? - They won't say without Tom on the phone.
I won't put anything into Tom's ear till I hear more because this is sounding like a TV movie.
- Miss Tate, what are they saying? - Mary.
They have teams in Kandahar working private security.
They know about the abduction and worked a couple this year.
They think it's the same militia that attacked a truck bringing medical supplies to Musa Qala.
What happened to those guys? They kidnapped the driver, a Turkmenistan national an Italian aid worker and a French contractor.
What did Trask do? They sprung the Italian for some money but the French contractor got killed.
- And the driver? - Killed.
Before or after the money was delivered? After.
- After.
- Yeah.
Why kidnap airmen? They know the military's not gonna negotiate.
That's why they don't think there's chance of a money exchange.
I wanna know exactly how this works.
I wanna know how dangerous it is.
I wanna know their success versus catastrophic failure rate.
They're not gonna talk about any of that with anyone but Tom or his parents.
But with their expenses, their fees, a militia that's retaken half the country and size of the ransom now that they know who Mark's brother is it's gonna be a lot more than a million dollars.
Probably closer to 10.
You know someone who can get their hands on that kind of cash? We need to find Jack Rudolph.
What about booking more country acts? Why the hell hasn't Goldstein called me back? - Danny? - Yeah.
The musical guests, how about booking more country acts? - Are we really talking about this? - And younger guest hosts.
Well, tonight's was Jenna Fischer.
She's, like, 15.
Maybe if we'd put a cowboy hat on her head.
You know what we could do? Your own network research says that the number one audience manipulator among women is a pregnancy in jeopardy.
- How about if? - God.
- You all right? - I think I'm gonna be sick.
Nurse! It's okay.
- It's okay.
Nurse! - Something's wrong.
I'm feeling a little nauseous.
- What's happening? She's nauseated.
Here you go, dear.
- Is the baby choking.
- No.
Are you having headaches? - Yes.
- You are? - How long? - How long they last? - How long you been having? - Few days.
- Still 180/110.
- Ah! - Get me magnesium sulfate.
- Talk to me.
- Signs of pre-eclampsia.
- What's that mean? - She could start having seizures.
- God.
- Magnesium sulfate will take care of that.
- The drugs hurt the baby? No.
- She's gotta have it now.
- There isn't someone more senior here? - No.
Then I think we'll wait - She's gotta have this.
It's not a high-tech drug.
It's magnesium sulfate, been around for a hundred years.
I'll stick it in her IV, it'll reduce electrical activity.
If I don't, she'll seize.
The cord'll be the least problem.
- Danny.
- Do it.
Do it.
Do it now.
You and the baby are gonna be fine.
- Once she untangles herself from that cord.
- Yeah.
I got two meth overdoses and a knife wound down the hall.
I'll be back.
- You'd make a good producer.
- That's too much stress for me.
- You know this guy? - I'm sorry, captain? Do you know this guy? - No.
- He's good.
- Yeah.
- What's the name of this singer? That's Gran Bel Fisher, he was tonight's musical guest.
He's coming in, so keep this area clear.
Yes.
Manny, Reuben, back those folks up, please.
Get them out of the hall, get them inside.
You understand if there's any press in here, Lt.
Pierce is gonna have to shoot them.
- Sure.
- I'm kidding.
Tom.
Hey, Tom? Hey, Tom.
Tom.
It's okay, George.
Tom Jeter? - Yes, sir.
Capt.
David Boyle.
Mark's commanding officer at Nellis Air Force Base.
- Lt.
Jim Pierce, he's our chaplain.
- Is this protocol? - I'm sorry? - This visit.
Other guys, they've got families.
Valdez and Smith getting this treatment? Yeah, there's I assure you the families of the other two - It's protocol.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
- Tom.
We kept the party going so news wouldn't get out that it's your brother.
- It's out.
- Yeah, I know.
That's why I wrote an introduction for Harriet to go live for the West Coast feed just saying what happened and offering our prayers.
I figured since no one's watching the show anymore, anyway.
Hey, there's no way this ends bad.
There's no way.
It's not that kind of story, okay? Okay.
Okay, you all have my office, which is upstairs, so follow me.
- Where's Simon? Meeting my parents at the airport.
- Tom? - Yeah.
- What's the name of that singer? - What? Who's that singer on the TV? What does it matter? - You were with him two hours ago.
- Can you remember his name? - Am I being tested? Capt.
Boyle just wants to gauge the level of your trauma.
The level I'm fine.
I don't have a knife at my throat.
- Anyone been in touch? - Why don't we wait? Has anyone been in touch with him, yes or no? - I don't believe this.
- Gran Bel Fisher.
- What? - That's the name of the singer.
All right.
Has anyone been? Some communication with the regiment an hour and 10 minutes before the incident.
Mark was a part of a Provisional Reconstruction Team I know what he's doing.
I don't care if there was communication before - You do care.
It helps us with the location - All right, yeah, you're right.
Do you have the location? - We can't tell you that.
- I'm not asking where.
- I'm asking if you have it! - We can't tell you that, Tom.
Tommy.
- I messed up your control room.
- Come here.
Nobody's going anywhere tonight, we're all right here.
Thanks.
Is Harriet around? She went out dancing.
She's downstairs praying her ass off.
All right.
Okay.
Matt? Matt? Jack, we need to speak to you a minute.
- Is there a rescue mission underway? Tom.
Every single thing we do is for the sake of the safety of Valdez, Smith and Staff Sergeant Jeter, including not telling you anything.
How bad is it that they know I'm his brother? Could've lived without that.
- I did a sketch tonight.
- I know.
It was "Mohammed, the Thin-Skinned Prophet.
" I know.
Could've lived without that too.
Due respect, captain, I don't think comedy's what got him in trouble tonight.
- You know what I'm saying? - Yes, sir, I do.
Want a drink? - No.
- I'll help myself.
The leader of another country or something like that.
Tell him about the success rate.
There were 411 incidents in 2006.
Trask handled 88 of them, 13 transactions failed before money changed hands and 18 after.
- Compared to the military? - Can't compare.
- Trask doesn't have any hard figure - Because they're secret.
They estimate the military's been successful three out of 50 times since 2001.
They make those estimates because they're selling something.
- They're selling they can get people out.
- Civilians.
- That's why you can't compare numbers.
- He's right.
Mary, has Trask ever handled the kidnapping of an American soldier? All right, guys, he's not kidnapped.
He's in uniform, he's a prisoner of war.
He's not.
He's a hostage and they're making demands.
Willing to release under conditions.
- Yes, that the U.
S.
Army surrenders.
- They know how to counteroffer.
The money we give them will never go towards capturing or killing other U.
S.
Soldiers.
That money's never gonna be used to make bombs.
- They'll spend it on science books and milk.
- Get them on the phone.
- Jack.
- I just wanna talk to them.
Yeah.
Okay.
- Bye.
- Any news? They've got a couple of Air Force officers with Tom now.
- I love you.
- Hmm.
I'm glad about that.
Thank you for coming after me.
You came after me.
- Mm-mm.
I did not.
- I'd given up.
You stuck a note under my watch, said, "I'm crazy about you.
" - And how fast did you come running.
- No, I was just being polite.
- Jordan? - Yeah.
We got the labs, they confirmed pre-eclampsia.
We'll get an O.
R.
Prepped for surgery.
- What kind of surgery? - We're gonna deliver the baby.
- Wait - She's only 37 weeks.
- Heart rate's 68.
- It's dropping.
We wanna do this now.
The books say that the last couple of weeks are important for respiratory development.
Asthma's gotta be low on our list of priorities.
She could suffer brain damage and so could Jordan.
A specialist is on her way and we're paging her doctor.
We'll need you to sign forms.
In a few minutes, we'll prep you.
Okay.
It's all gonna be over soon.
"It's all gonna be over soon"? The encouraging words they give you when you're Marry me.
- What? - Will you marry me? - What? - I want you to be engaged to be married to me before you go in there.
- Danny.
- Biology's just biology.
This is my daughter.
I want you to be my wife.
I want this to be my family forever.
No matter what happens.
Honey, I love you for saying that, but you can't just suddenly decide - I didn't just suddenly decide.
- You're proposing in an emergency room.
You haven't had time to think this through Oh, my God.
Will you marry me? How long have you been carrying that around in your pocket? Couple of weeks.
See? And you were undecided.
- And now that I'm in the hospital - I was not undecided.
I didn't know if you were gonna say yes.
- That's the risk you run! - Jordan Are you incapable of doing anything in a normal way? Well, you make it pretty hard.
- Jordan.
- Yeah.
It'll be a great story to tell our kid.
I wouldn't mind knowing something about the color and clarity - A three-carat diamond with F clarity - Yes.
- What? - God, yes.
Are you kidding me? Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Give me the ring.
Did it ever occur to you to check my ring size? - Ma'am, we'll bring you in preop.
- We can get it tightened.
- Hey, just how fat did you think I was? - Really? Now? I'm engaged.
I'm engaged.
- Does that ever just feel like busy work? - No.
We have had this fight for eight years, haven't we? Yes, and you've lost every time.
Mary Tate is upstairs talking to people on the phone who do things.
And you're kneeling and praying as if that's action.
- It is.
- Harry If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves and pray then I will hear them from heaven and forgive their sins and heal their land.
You are believing in a fairy tale.
I'm believing that God protects his children.
Then why the hell didn't he give the hijackers massive coronaries before they reached for the box cutters? I can't explain God's ways to you because I can't understand them myself.
No one can.
Well, isn't that convenient for God? I'd imagine if I were God, I'd make things as convenient for myself as possible.
Do you understand that this represents an inexplicable lapse of common sense? It's not a weakness to have faith.
It's not a weakness to take responsibility either.
I don't disapprove of what you believe.
- You think I'll burn in hell for what I believe.
- I do worry about that.
- The boat saved him.
- God sent the boat.
Man built the boat.
If anything, God sent the flood.
Isn't it possible that Mary got pregnant by another man and Joseph stepped up so that his wife wouldn't get stoned to death by the village? No.
It's more likely that an angel inseminated her and she gave birth to a magical wizard who could rise from the dead? He's not David Copperfield.
Why do you have to believe in the divinity of Jesus Christ to know that robbing a bank is wrong, picking someone off the ground is right? Like asking why you need to believe in gravity to know that if you throw a rock, it'll hit somebody.
Science isn't something you believe in.
Science has to be proven, or don't call it science.
It'd be great if you knew something about Christians before - It's a fairy tale! - No, it's not! We've been having this fight for six months.
We've been having this fight for two years! We have been having this fight in two different millennia now! You really would've thought one of us would have won by this point.
Oh, Matt.
I just love you, is all.
It's okay that you're a heathen.
Well, I appreciate that.
Come pray with me.
I'll show you how, you'll learn something new.
Hello? What's going on? What is it? All right, I'm on my way over.
Jordan's having an emergency C-section.
We'll take my car.
Matt? Show me something.