Succession (2018) s01e02 Episode Script

Sh*t Show at the F**k Factory

I'm not letting you Neanderthals in to rape my company.
Daddy's boy.
How can we salvage this? Do we need to sweeten the offer? - Do you want to call your dad? - Do you want to call your dad? Everybody, this is cousin Craig.
- It's Greg.
- I'll I'll answer to both.
I changed my mind.
I'm staying on as head of the company.
You fucked me.
LOGAN ROY: On the family trust, I'm gonna add Marcy to myself and you four.
I'm gonna have to talk to my lawyers.
What're you thinking, son? She's very smart.
- Family first.
- ROMAN ROY: Um, sure.
But I want to run the damn show.
And until it opens up, chief operating officer.
We stick to the plan, I takeover.
- And you two, under me - Under you? Can we think about it? - KENDALL ROY: Yeah, of course.
- I thought about it.
Fuck you! KENDALL: Sorry the other offer fell through.
But we fattened the goose nice I'm gonna eat you all.
One by fucking one.
LOGAN: What do you say, kids? Our position is, this doesn't quite work for us.
- (SLURRING) - Dad? - (SLURRING, GRUNTING) - Dad? Dad?! SHIV ROY: (ON PHONE) Kendall.
Dad is in the hospital.
Uh, my dad's My dad's in the hospital.
Yeah, he had, I don't know, I don't know what.
But, uh yeah, I don't know if he's gonna be OK.
It's Yeah.
So I don't know.
I'm here with Jess.
We're just trying to get there - What the? - (HORNS HONKING) Can we just find a way around the traffic, man? Just Just Just figure it out.
Please! (MUSIC PLAYING) (TIRES SQUEAL) Where's the ICU? MAN: blood pressure (CONTINUES, INDISTINCT) (INDISTINCT MEDICAL CHATTER) MAN: tests What's the situation? Can somebody Excuse me.
They're working on him.
What is this part of the hospital? I mean, is this the best section? Excuse me? Doctor, is this the best part of the hospital? Sorry.
You know, we just We need to know.
The ICU is the ICU.
This is the best place for him.
Is this where you would take your father? I'm sorry.
Can the team have some space? Please? Hey, here's an idea.
Why don't you worry about the medicine, not the fucking feng shui? CONNOR: Let's let the gentleman do his job.
Thank you.
- Let's do this for Dad.
- Thank you.
SHIV: Sorry.
(MONITOR BEEPS) (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) Do they know who we are? - I don't know.
- Are they sandbagging us? - Do they know who he is? - I don't know.
- Shall we call Mom? - SHIV: What? No.
There's like a million people to call.
She's probably just make it about herself, anyway.
Come on.
Your mom's a maniac, she's not a monster.
Folks, we need you to wait through there, please.
I'm sorry.
We're getting mixed messages here.
We have no clue what's going on.
We will be with you as soon as we have an assessment.
OK, well, that's not good enough.
We need to know what's happening.
The socio-economic health of multiple continents is dependent on his well-being.
The socio-economic health of multiple continents? Kendall.
We have an area we can go to.
They'll keep us posted.
- (CHATTER) - (KENDALL SIGHS) KENDALL: So, look, take me through what happened exactly.
Uh, I don't know, exactly.
It was weird.
Um, it happened fast, - we were just sitting there - SHIV: We were just talking.
We were talking, Shiv kind of started - hard-balling Dad a little bit.
- I wasn't hard-balling him.
A brain hemorrhage doesn't come from some chit-chat, asshole.
So it's definitely a brain hemorrhage? Is that what they said? Somebody said that, right? - Somebody said hemorrhage? - Or stroke? I - The ambulance - A stroke is a hemorrhage.
- It is? - Yes.
Did someone say "hemorrhage," or is it just us who said it? It could be an aneurism.
Why aren't we chasing this? I'll chase.
CONNOR: Hey, uh, is there any Did Dad ever talk to any of you guys about cryogenics? You're insane.
Look, I don't want to be given the runaround by Doctor-fucking-SUNY Purchase Medical School here.
We need to know who the top players are, OK? Who's the top dog in this hospital? Have you talked to Dad's neurologist? Kendall, stop acting like the king of the hospital.
We're all trying to do our best, so just fuck off.
I'm on it.
OK? According to this, it sounds like a stroke, but it could be an acute subdural hematoma.
Get in there and operate, Doctor Google.
CONNOR: He once talked to me about cryogenics.
What? Wouldn't that just be typical? All the other billionaires are strolling around in new bodies, but not Dad, because we were too embarrassed to actually discuss it.
He didn't talk to you about cryogenics.
You talked to him about cryogenics because you're obsessed with cryogenics.
- I'm not really, Kendall.
- And what he didn't tell you, and what I'm telling you now, is that you are an idiot.
Sticks and stones, Kenny.
Yeah, I know.
And on his birthday, too? It's so shitty.
MARIANNE: So what's happening now? Are you staying at the hospital? I guess.
I mean, I think I've got a job, but I don't know.
Logan said I did, but Marcia was the only one to hear it, so and then he tragically, you know, like, whatever.
Well, what sort of job? Is it a good job? I don't know.
Like, could be anything.
And I have, like, 20 bucks left.
The world is so fucked up.
I am not sending you any more money, Greg.
Step up.
I'm not asking you to send me Look, just make sure about the job.
- All right? - Yeah, I know.
Hey, do you have cash? Oh.
Uh no, just my last twenty.
That's fine.
Um I just got mugged by Shiv.
MAN ON VIDEO: Born in humble circumstances in Dundee, Scotland, shortly before the outbreak of the Second World War, Logan Roy grew up in poverty, but died one of the richest and most powerful men in America.
His widowed mother took the decision KENDALL: It's an ATN obituary.
They want us to OK it in case they have to run it.
Is it nice? I mean, it's made by his own news division.
Doesn't say he was a prick.
(CONNOR TALKING ON PHONE) You want to watch it? No.
I would really love to see you.
Yes, it's appropriate.
It could hardly be more appropriate.
OK? Yeah, OK.
OK, good.
- Hey, Jess? - Mm-hmm? There's nothing in here about our mom.
Or Connor's.
They need to be included.
PJ says Aziz Kahn at Mayo Clinic is the best there is.
Sarah says Ann Wieman at NYU.
Ann Wieman? Is that That's not who I have.
Well, it's the name I have.
Can you tell Sarah to give her a call? - Sure.
- Hey, Rome.
- Do you have regular? - SHIV: No, I've got Now I'm strapped.
Was there any change at all? - CONNOR: Hey, you guys.
- What? Could I have the change? What is this? People are sending shit already? It's from Lawrence Yee at Vaulter.
Call him and tell him that is not fucking appreciated.
- Kendall, I'm so sorry.
- Thank you, Gerri.
Can you give me five? We need to talk.
Over here, OK? (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES) Obviously the nominating committee, the board, has a plan in the event of Logan's incapacitation.
Sorry, do I need to hear this right now? You do.
In the event that we, uh, continue on our trajectory of his current consciousness, we're gonna need to announce a plan by around 6:30, before the markets open, in order to avoid a lot of funky chowder.
Did you say funky chowder? We've set up down here.
KENDALL: What have you set up? GERRI: You're gonna want a place to just be, and chill, you know? We talked to some of the trustees of the hospital, so everybody knows who's who.
It's not a war room yet, but, um But if we need one, it's available.
Uh, so there's a bathroom through there - Hi, Karolina - Hi.
Thank you, guys.
So I have Dewi and Asha from the nominating committee on the line.
Kendall's here, and you're on speaker, guys.
DEWI: So sorry to hear about the news.
ASHA: Likewise.
As you know, our standing plan in the event of Logan's absence, is to separate his CEO and Chairman roles.
DEWI: You'll become acting CEO, Frank stays on as COO.
We'll need to act fast.
Stabilize the stock price.
Dewi? Dewi? I'm sorry my dad is my focus right now, OK? Of course, it's just that there's a problem in terms of the optics if what happened earlier today between you two gets out.
I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about.
Well DEWI: And then there's the problem with Frank.
- As in? - EVA: Logan fired him and promoted Roman.
Roman? Jesus.
Look, I'm sorry, I I can't get into this right now, guys.
KARL: No, of course.
You are in no fit state.
But here's my take, OK? My dad got sick today, right? I don't know, I mean, nobody knows when he started acting out of character, but, like, he didn't seem great from the morning on, and there's no paper on any of the moves made today.
- Right, Gerri? - Uh nothing meaningful.
Yeah, it was words.
Words are just, what? Nothing.
Complicated air flow.
So, I mean, if I was saying what actually happened today, it would be nothing.
GERRI: Well, that certainly makes things simpler from our point of view.
Do you think you can get the family behind it? Yes.
And Frank? Sure.
Dude, can't we just talk here? You know Connor's invited Willa down? Ugh.
What?! Here?! What's the deal with their deal? Unlike me, he has no sense of boundaries.
What the fuck? It's stale, but it's empty, I think.
- Hello? - You wanna do a play? No, I, um, just wanted to I've been thinking that maybe this might be really tough on Marcia.
Yeah, you're thinkin' that? What, will she put all her inheritance into gold or oil? No, I just No, I Look, I know that, like, the trust only comes into play if certain things happen Ahem.
Yeah, he's dead, or brain dead.
Yeah, but I was thinkin', like wouldn't it be nice for Dad to wake up and for all of us to have signed, like he wanted? You know, like a nice gesture? And if he doesn't wake up, we've basically signed over to Marcia the power to choose the new Dad.
So OK.
So, for the record, you are declining to sign on the change of trust? - For the record? - Yeah.
What the fuck is this, McCarthyism? I'm not declining, I'm just not I'm not "clining.
" What the f OK.
OK, just, you know, that just seems very shitty under the circumstances.
What circumstances? Well, you did make her husband's brain explode.
- Fuck you, man! - Ow! - Ohh! - Wait - Stop it! - You shit! What, are you fuckin' insane? (BOTH SHOUTING, INDISTINCT) - (SHIV SHRIEKING) - ROMAN: No! No! (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) He He doesn't deserve this.
It's just so unfair.
He's a great man.
He, like, let me come to his birthday lunch.
And he offered me a job.
Right? He doesn't deserve this.
And so, if there's anything that I can do, let me know.
Actually, there is something.
- OK.
- Can you go to the apartment and get his bed things and slippers? The ones with the dark checks.
You don't mind? No, no.
I'd be respectfully, uh, somberly willing.
MARCIA: Thank you.
- Now? - Please.
All right.
Marcia, we get can get Colin or the driver to go and get his things.
(WHISPERS) I don't need this fly buzzing in my face.
Slippers, slippers, slippers, slippers, slippers.
(WHISPERS) Yeah, don't fuck it up.
Fuckin' long legs.
Greg! Hey, I need a favor from you.
What's up? Dad had some papers he wanted us to sign, and they're in some envelopes, just pick 'em up at the house, and bring 'em.
- Yeah.
Where are the papers? - Yeah.
They're in the house somewhere.
In envelopes They're just in the house! - You got it? - OK.
I was imagining Oh, you're fucking tall.
This is hurting my goddamn neck.
I have to go.
OK? Just find the papers, and bring 'em back.
Papers, and and They're gonna be just I am so done with this conversation.
- Just handle it, OK? - All right.
(OXYGEN HISSING) DOCTOR: Better not fuck this one up.
I don't want Logan Roy's newspapers goin' through my trash cans.
- We're bastards! - (CACKLING) - SHIV: Turn that off.
Turn it off.
- We've killed - Logan.
- We're - (VIDEO OFF) What are they saying? Just rumors, you know.
He was taken to the hospital, some of Twitter says he's dead, and also a good deal of, um, of rejoicing at our father's potential demise.
Can we find out who these fuckers are and, like report them? Or just, like, screen grab their shit.
- OK.
- So we know? Yeah? CONNOR: So, I don't know where Kendall is, but Hi.
Really sorry, you guys.
Thanks, Willa.
Why don't we sit over here.
Oh, there's Ken.
It's gross.
News is out.
OK, right.
Well So, um, listen.
I don't even want to think about this, but I just spoke to the nominating committee, and, uh the thing is that the plan is to announce that I take over from Dad.
- Well, no.
- Excuse me? - What do you mean? - I mean, we're waiting for the results of the scan.
It's a pointless conversation.
OK, well, let's talk about it.
I can't talk about it.
I'm upset.
Hey! I'm upset too.
Oh, not too upset to go and fucking plot - with the suits.
- Fuck you! OK? I could hardly hear them for the blood rushing in my ears.
Isn't there a plan anyways? Like Yes, there's a plan.
That's what I'm fucking telling you.
The plan is that Frank and I will take over - Frank was fired.
- SHIV: Yeah.
Well, I mean, let's d-discuss and just see where we are, right? I'm not doing this.
If Dad dies, I don't want to be talking about this shit when he dies.
He won't die.
(HORNS HONKING) GREG: Yeah, this is great.
Thank you.
GREG: Hey, man.
Sorry, I'm I'm really sorry, but I don't have any money for the cab.
I'm sorry, sir, do I know you? Yeah, I-I was here a little earlier.
I got assaulted a little in there.
So can you pay for the cab, please? She was supposed to call, but maybe she didn't because there's an emergency, uh, happening.
Sir, I'm sorry, I don't know who you are.
Um Sss OK, so he's not gonna lend me the money.
So, I don't know, um You know, he Pretty much, he owes you your money.
He owes me the? You better give me the money, dude.
(HORNS HONKING) You guys need to work this out for yourselves, because basically one of you guys hasn't got $14, OK? (PHONE CHIMING) DOORMAN: Yes, ma'am.
Hello, Mrs.
Roy? (MONITOR BEEPING) Knock knock.
Thank you.
(BLOWS AIR) I'm so sorry.
It's so weird.
I actually like hospitals.
Lots of people don't.
But they're safe.
The weird thing for me is that I was, well, I'd been intending to talk to Logan, you know, and make a make a proposal, a very decent proposal, to Shiv.
Actually been meaning to ask for his blessing for a while, but, uh now it's very difficult.
You need to find the right time for these conversations.
The weird thing I'm thinkin' now is, do you think Logan would still like to be asked? You know? I mean, I know he can't reply, but would he appreciate the gesture if he was told about it later? Or even in the case in the case of the worst case, would it have been nice to have asked his body? WOMAN ON VIDEO: Rumors continue to circulate about the health of Hey, hey.
They're ready.
They have the results.
You OK? Yeah.
He'll be fine.
He's probably in there eating a fucking chicken bucket and yelling at someone.
He's had a hemorrhagic stroke, a bleed in the deep right hemisphere that put pressure on the thalamus and the brain stem, and that's what caused a loss of consciousness.
So, what, do you operate? We don't do that with deep bleeds, especially in older patients.
- He's not an older patient.
- Dude, he just turned 80.
But physically, he's, like, still in his 70s, and he's in great shape.
The evidence is that operating in situations like these isn't worthwhile.
So, then, what do you do? You can't do nothing.
We will carry out regular observations, and hopefully we'll see some improvement soon.
That's not good enough.
Right, Dr.
Judith? That's It's an excellent department.
Well, thank you for your input, but you'll understand if we check out our options.
My assistant's been in touch with Ann Wieman at NYU, and we might move Dad there.
He stays here.
He gets better here.
Well, we can discuss.
(HUMORLESS CHUCKLE) We'll discuss and get back to you.
No discussion.
I am his next of kin.
I am his proxy.
I am in charge.
Thank you.
Well we'll move Logan to a suite in Greenberg.
I'll show you the way.
I'm sure you have some questions.
Feel free to ask me on the way up.
(DISTANT SIREN BLARES) - I'm sorry, Ken.
- Thanks for coming over.
OK, so look.
We don't know what's going on.
He could be fine; he could not.
Either way, he's not gonna be back tomorrow, so, long story short, will you carry on as COO, step up on the board - Become acting chairman.
- Yes.
- No.
- What? (CHUCKLES) He fired me, Ken.
He I Look, I don't know if he even knew what he was saying if his brain was working.
His brain was working fine.
Well, whatever else, there's no proof, legally, - that yesterday even happened.
- That's not the problem.
- So what's the problem? - I don't want to be chairman.
I am just an attendant lord, here to swell a scene or two.
What the fuck does that mean? Come on, don't do that.
We could do great things together.
So what do you need, Frank? (LAUGHING) A jazillion dollars in unmarked Bitcoin.
I don't have a price, Ken.
- Frank, I don't understand.
- Ju We'll talk.
There's a lot of mess to be cleaned up, Kendall, but you can do it, son.
You can.
And there's nothing I can say to change your mind? (SIGHS) I'm sorry about your father.
And good luck, Kenny.
Yeah? (ENGINE STARTS) (LOW CHATTER) I told Greg to bring the change of trust.
- What? - And when he does, I think we should sign it.
I I'm not doing anything without my lawyer present.
Well, I'm going to sign it, I'm getting Connor to sign it.
It's gonna make you look pretty fucking heartless when you don't.
Don't give me a fuckin' scary look.
You hit me, I will fuck you up.
Ahh, fuck.
God, you're so annoying.
Shut up.
Did you find those contracts Roman asked for? Uh, I Yes, I got 'em.
Oh, I think you have the wrong ones.
Uh, OK.
Um right.
What, uh, what shall I do? (CHUCKLES) Look, there's a lot of confusion.
'Cause if you have any doubt, maybe you can't find them, and that might be simplest.
But if I do, 'cause I I think I have the right ones here.
Don't bring them in.
Did he change his mind? NO.
I'M JUST TELLING YOU: Don't bring them in.
S All right, I get I get it.
So, who's the Like, what's the chain of command here? Are you the more senior sibling? Greg, it's simple.
This is a favor I'd like you to do for me, and I'd like you to be discreet.
You stay for a while, you can't find them, you come back.
OK? - OK.
- Thank you.
This is better.
Um look, so, I know you don't want to talk about this, I'm just informing you, Roman as a board member and Shiv as a shareholder, I'll be taking temporary charge as CEO and Chairman.
Frank is not interested in the position at present.
I'm sorry, but even if we were talking about this, which we are not, it wouldn't necessarily be you.
KENDALL: I'm sorry, then who the fuck would it be? ROMAN: I don't know.
It could be me.
(KENDALL LAUGHS) Are you insane? - Dad made me COO.
- I don't think so, dude.
Dad wasn't thinking straight.
I think he was.
You? The chief operating officer? - Yup.
- I mean, if that wasn't a sign he was loco in the coco, I don't know what is.
Well, I don't see it that way.
Come on.
It was a negotiating position, Rome.
He was fuckin' playing you to get you to sign the change of trust.
Do you even know what it fucking involves? I mean, he conked out mid-game.
Are you calling me a dipshit? No.
I love you, man, but you're not a serious person.
All right, fuck you.
He's alive, you're not the fuckin' boss.
All right! Come on.
Let's not throw shit around.
We're in the middle, so let's just sit tight.
No sudden moves.
We need to move.
The markets are gonna want to know who's behind the wheel.
We need to control the narrative.
"Control the narrative.
" You probably yell that when you cum.
"Oh! Control the narrative! Oh! Control it Control the narrative! Uhh" KENDALL: Fuck you.
We're in a hospital.
Everyone knows.
We have to say something.
Actually, we don't.
'Cause no one knows how serious it is.
So we don't have to say anything.
Actually, we do.
The SEC.
There are rules, there are laws (BABY VOICE) Oh, no.
The law? Well, we can't break the law.
Hey, Karolina? Has a CEO ever been out of action and people haven't been told? Um, not that I can think of.
There was Apple, but that Right, but if we wanted to drag our feet on this, until we figure the moves Well, once we do know, there's a duty to shareholders to let people Yeah, but I don't I don't know what we know.
I mean, this could be an allergic reaction.
- It could be the flu.
- Oh, come on.
Look at the fuckin' orchids.
This is out there.
It's like we're being held hostage in the Honolulu airport.
But if we wanted to say something, you know, other than KENDALL: It's called a lie, Shiv.
When you say the thing that's not, that's a lie.
We'll need to make a holding statement.
Of course, I'm open to your suggestions on how to finesse it.
We'll make a decision and get back to you shortly.
TV NEWSCASTER: Logan Roy, CEO and chairman - of Waystar corporation - So, what do you think I do? Well, I don't know.
What did she say? Roman said bring in the papers, Shiv said don't bring in the papers.
Well, I guess you need to decide which one of them is more important? I guess Roman's in the company, but Shiv seems like, I don't know, more bossy? All right.
Well, can you just take some of the papers? Plus, I don't know about these slippers.
Like, they're all plaid.
Does "checked" mean plaid? 'Cause then there's gingham, there's tartan It's like a crisscross fuckin' minefield.
Oh, fuck the slippers, Greg.
You have to strategize.
I'm trying to strategize, Mom, with you! But you won't strategize.
What's up, Kendall? You mix me up with your sponsor? Listen, I'm just calling to issue a reminder.
Your pecker's in my pocket, OK, Dickless Dickleby? You do what I say.
Let others say what they want, but we stay dark.
You get me? No reporting on what went down yesterday, the turmoil.
Well, I can do whatever I want, because Vaulter and our satellite sites have editorial independence as set out in that piece of paper you signed.
You know what that piece of paper is to me? Nothing.
OK? I'd jerk off on that paper and send it to you as a greeting card.
SIMON SAYS: "Mum's the word," motherfucker.
Sorry to bother you so late.
Hey, let's put something together about the Roy family shitshow.
SHIV: So, and I don't want to get into this, but maybe we should just cut off the whole Kendall CEO thing so that it doesn't get painful.
Well, I mean, I'm not looking for it, but I guess I'm already COO, so one more step It's not gonna be you.
- Because? - Come on.
- I don't know what that means.
- Yes, you do.
Well, it doesn't matter who does it.
It's just temporary, so anyone will do.
Yeah, sure.
- Tom.
- Tom? - (LAUGHS) - OK, fine.
ROMAN: Prick.
Eva? - Cunt.
- OK.
So, who? Someone Dad trusts.
But Dad doesn't trust anyone, except Frank, and he fired Frank for shits and giggles.
- Gerri? - Uhh I don't love Gerri.
But I don't hate Gerri.
So, Gerri.
I'll talk to her.
(SIGHS) So, Gerri.
How ya doin'? Oh, I'm fine.
This is where they brought Baird, so it's a little Baird? Yeah, Baird.
My husband.
Shiv's godfather? Oh, does he, um With the tortoise? Yeah.
(LAUGHING) Fuck yeah, of course.
- How is he? - He's dead.
I know.
I know.
I remember you So, uh, Gerri, uh, just wanted to say thanks for captaining us through this shitstorm.
Um, you do a good job, Gerri, you, uh, you're, um, you're a real good job-doer.
I suck at the whole corporate flirt thing.
You know, I just I like to lube up and fuck, you know? - (CLEARS THROAT) OK.
- OK.
So, um for me and Shiv, the whole Kendall thing doesn't work.
So we were thinkin' General counsel You know where the bodies are buried.
You probably buried 'em yourself.
(GIGGLES) So you would have the family's support to step in and take the reins.
That's a very generous offer, but I'm going to have to decline.
Um OK.
Can, uh, can I ask why? Why I don't want the job that makes your brain explode? OK, but, um, uh G-Gerri, excuse me, but I I've always thought of you And I mean this in the best possible way As a stone-cold killer bitch.
Who says you don't know how to flirt? (PHONE CHIMES) OK.
Can I get a moment alone with you, do you think? - I - Have you seen this? I'm so sorry about your father.
Thank you.
Would you give us a minute? Yeah.
- CONNOR: Thanks, Willa.
- Mm-hmm.
Tom, would you mind? Oh, come on.
I'm not the same as her.
- Ken.
- (SIGHS) Vaulter's running a story about how the company's in turmoil.
Don't we own him? (LAUGHS) "Shit Show at the Fuck Factory"? Yeah.
Uncertainty, discord.
That is not a good story.
"Family gets behind other member of family," that's a good story.
Oh, fuck them.
I mean, when Jobs was dying, Apple didn't say anything.
We're in a hospital, Shiv.
Everyone knows.
We can't just prop him up and wave his hand and say he's fine like they did in the Politburo or Weekend at fuckin' Bernie's.
I like the sound of that, though.
Look, you can't put a value on a human life, except in our case, you rather precisely can because when trading opens tomorrow, we're gonna drop like a stone.
The only question is, what's the bottom? I think I'm the best option.
I just want to say that, uh, if you need me to go get sandwiches or coffee or step up from Regional Parks and run North America, I can, and I will.
And that's just an offer on the table - Fuck off, Tom.
- Fuck you, Kendall.
- Don't talk to Tom like that.
- It's OK.
It's fine.
I was about to be announced.
I mean, how can I not be the logical choice? Because you were about to be announced, Ken, and then you weren't.
I mean, the only thing we know for certain, like for absolute certain, tonight, is that Dad didn't want you running the company.
So if there was a list of 7 billion people on this planet that Dad would choose to be boss, we know you would be last.
Dad fired you, man.
No, he did not fire me.
He said it was just gonna take a little longer.
But he said that to be nice.
What I think he meant to say was that he wished that Mom gave birth to a can opener because at least then it would be useful.
KENDALL: You're a dick.
- That's - ROMAN: Too far? Look, the board are offering this to me.
I don't actually need your backing.
You actually really, totally do.
I think you do.
Without it, after what Dad did to you, I mean, we could probably take any appointment to court.
Jesus, Shiv, we're talking about court now? Fuck you! I didn't even want to talk about this, remember? What do you What do you have against me? - Nothing.
- KENDALL: Nothing? Oh, you want me to actually say? - Yes, I do.
- You lack killer instinct, you're wet, you're green, you're intellectually insecure, Bullshit.
You're not emotionally strong enough, - you have addiction issues.
- That's enough! I don't think all that, I'm just trying to be Dad's voice.
It was an excellent impression.
I just want to say I'm not getting involved.
But Shiv's right.
I'm not saying I would make a better CEO, that's unsaid It's not unsaid when you say it.
No, I'm saying I'm not saying it, so, in fact, it is unsaid.
Hey, pal, why don't you go help Willa with her homework? Ouch.
Listen, why don't you decide everything.
I don't care.
I just observe.
I'm a UN white helmet.
All right? Guys Who else are you gonna get? I think Shiv would be great.
That's what I think.
(LAUGHS) Thanks, honey, but no way.
I mean, she doesn't work in the company and has no experience of the company and the markets would freak, but apart from that, I agree with you.
I mean, we have options.
You could all ask for morphine so you can stay in your painless fucking fantasy world where the orchids dance and the company is run by a magical fucking unicorn! Fuck your options.
(PHONE CHIMES) Hello, this is Greg on Greg's phone.
- Greg.
How ya doin'? - Yeah, I'm just, um, not dawdling.
You're still at the fucking apartment? You've been there forever.
Uh, just, um I know you're picking up PJs and all that shit, just grab a sweater, maybe, also.
My dad's, OK? - OK.
Which sweater? - It doesn't matter.
Not something washed.
Something that he's worn, maybe.
- If you find one.
- OK, yeah.
If he's worn it, if his How am I gonna know if it's worn? Just smell it.
OK? Jesus! I just want something that smells like him, OK? I just want that.
Is that enough for you? Dude, that's really nice.
I would want that if this was my situation, too.
So I'll sniff some stuff for you Just Whatever.
And if you tell anyone about this, I will cut your dick off.
And don't forget those papers I told you to bring.
And, uh, thank you.
Fuck off.
- (BEEP) - Yeah.
(CLANGS) (CLANGING) (CRASH) (DOOR OPENS) I apologize if my bell summoned you.
It's, um - It's like 4:00 a.
- Yeah, I couldn't sleep.
Put the kids to bed and thought I was missing all the fun, so How are they doing? - The kids? - Yeah.
Um they're OK.
Maybe you could bring them by tomorrow.
So they can say their You know, say their hellos.
- Yeah.
- OK.
How are you feeling? Good.
(LAUGHS) How am I feeling? Fuck.
Ask me another? - Jesus, what a day for you.
- Yeah.
The nominating committee want me to be the big boss.
Really? But Shiv and Roman won't back me because of what Dad said at lunch.
(LAUGHS) Jesus.
- Yeah.
- Ah, your family is so fucked.
I'm sorry, but Wow.
I'm sorry.
Um Ken, I (LAUGHS) What can I say? It's I don't know.
It's just my body.
I'm glad you're here.
I can tell.
- No.
I'm not in the mood.
There's something I have to say to you.
- What? - Siobhan Roy Oh, my God.
Will you marry me? What the fuck? Seriously? I love you.
And I wanted to do something to make all this better.
And I thought while your dad's still with us, wouldn't that be a nice thing? We can get a quick wedding.
What is it about my dad dying in a sterile environment that screams big romantic gesture to you? Well, it's a horrible day, I thought Thought it would be a nice thing.
Tom, you can't balance it out like that.
I'm not gonna give you a blow job when your dog dies.
Right? Yeah.
It's fine.
I misjudged it.
I get it.
No, I'm s-sorry.
Honey, I'm sorry.
I'm This is Let's just not have this as the moment.
Why don't you do this again properly another time.
No! Exactly.
This is not the moment.
This didn't happen.
Abort, abort, Good.
But so you know, uh yeah, whatever.
- Yes? Yes? - Yeah.
When it happens, yes.
Yes? Yes! (BOTH LAUGHING) - Really? - Yeah.
I Yeah.
- It's such a shitshow.
- What is? My family.
Our family.
- Our family.
- Yeah.
(WOMAN MUTTERS) Hey, hey, hey.
(WHISPERS) So I got the slippers.
Thank you.
Yeah, I finally found 'em.
Can you put them in there, please? Yeah.
So, you got the slippers.
I guess that makes you Prince Charming.
I guess so.
You saying you want to fuck Marcia? What?! No.
Wh-Why would you say that? That's what you just said.
It isn't.
You said you were Prince Charming.
- No, you just said that.
- I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
Do you know that, uh Do you know that he gave me a job? What job? - I don't know.
- OK.
- Do you know when I start? - No.
Obviously I don't know.
- Why would I know? - I don't know.
I thought you might know 'cause I thought everybody's talking and, like, might be talking about me? No, everybody was talking about you this whole time.
Everyone was only talking about you, Cousin Greg.
I get it.
Ha ha.
(SIGHS) When you, uh, figure all this out, come in and see me.
OK? And, uh, and I'll look after you.
All right? I'm serious.
I will.
- Sure.
- Thanks, man.
That's OK.
All right, later.
Take it easy, Greg.
(DOOR OPENS) Yo, come here for a second.
(CLEARS THROAT) So, listen.
I've been thinking AND THIS IS MY VISION: We got for it.
Me and you.
CEO and COO.
- Oh.
- Me and my homey Romey.
I thought I was a fuckhead.
Uh, dipshit, and you said that.
You said I wasn't serious.
- Sorry.
It's been a long day.
- Yeah.
But dude, seriously.
Me and you, bro.
Like, I could teach you.
And you could, you know, teach me.
And Shiv? I mean, you know what Shiv's like.
Ultimately she's a daddy's girl.
Right? I mean, she wants to play it safe.
We're the ones with the nuts to fuckin' revolutionize.
OK, I'm not uninterested.
All right, then, let's fuckin' do it.
Here's the thing.
Gerri just turned down the top job.
So does that mean something? Are you fuckin' with me? Nope.
Who asked Gerri? It was broached.
- It was broached? - Yeah.
By who? Did you broach? You broached it, didn't you? Don't pin the broach on me, OK? Everyone was broaching.
Just want to make sure we trust each other.
Everything up front, OK? All right.
Shake on it or something? Official? Oh.
Oh, come on.
Hey, knock it off.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) Thank you, Willa.
So, listen, I've asked Roman to be acting COO - ROMAN: Actual COO.
- To my acting CEO.
- And you said? - ROMAN: I said why not? - Snake.
- Sis, please, I'm trying to bring everyone together here.
I'm mediating.
- Well, I'm saying no.
- Me too.
I thought you were a fucking white helmet.
Sometimes a peacekeeper has to go shoot a maniac on the perimeter, OK? What the fuck? Why would you say no to this and yes to Gerri? Gerri has been with the company for 20 years.
Dad trusts her.
She's older.
She's wiser.
She's a mature person Such as myself.
Well, she doesn't want it.
OK, so in my opinion, we should find someone else.
- Temporary.
- OK, like who? I don't know, someone neutral.
Eva or American Psycho, what - ROMAN: Karl.
- CONNOR: Karl.
And what if it isn't temporary, what if he uses his position to make it permanent? Because he wouldn't do that.
He's nice! He brought coffee.
KENDALL: Oh, he brought coffee.
Then we should definitely let him take control of the company.
Dude, he's not gonna take control of the company.
Look, it's a gamble.
It's either me and Roman and us as a family, or it's Eva and Karl, or some fuckface suit from the Deep State of the company.
They could take the company out of our hands, and we'd never get near it again.
If Dad wakes up, and he's frail, and he's looking at the end game, you want to be the one who tells him his family business isn't family-run anymore? I mean, maybe you could get away with it - You know, his favorite.
- Oh, fuck you.
But maybe you wouldn't stay his favorite if you gave away the firm.
Look, we need a statement by 6:30.
So you just have to think Like, bullshit aside Who do you think, really, Dad would prefer? What's up, fam? Oh.
Um did you get the papers? - What? - The pap The papers in the envelope? I called you? Dude Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
So no, basically? I was thinking about your dad, - I was up there - Hey, don't worry about it.
My head was just messed up.
We're gonna have to announce.
Where are we at? While Dad is ill, the family proposes that Kendall run the company with Roman as COO.
I hereby concur.
OK, uh.
I will let the committee know the family's position, and pending board approval, we can announce.
- Congratulations, Ken.
- Thanks, Gerri.
And Roman, congratulations.
EVA: This is all very exciting.
KARL: Difficult decision.
For the record, I personally believe this to be a total fucking disaster.
OK, good.
GERRI: Kendall, um, listen, we need to talk.
I'm sorry, I just need to I just need a conversation with you in private.
- What is this? - Um There's a few things you should know.
Um (EXHALES) OK, there's no way to put this nicely, so forgive me for stating it baldly, but, um, there's a huge debt problem.
What are you No.
- Yes.
Three billion.
- No, there's not.
Fuck off.
I'd know.
No one knows.
Well, me and Frank.
What about Dad? Yeah, your dad.
Hence the debt.
Gerri, what the fuck is going on? Where did the money go? In 1985, Logan needed cash badly for the expansion into parks, so he took out a loan through the family holding company.
He knew that besides Frank, none of the other boards members could see what was happening.
And then he added that loan to the company's already considerable debt.
Son of a bitch.
We can deal.
Yeah, but Kendall, the thing is, it's secured against Waystar's stock and when the stock hits 130, they can pursue repayment in full.
Which, if they decided to do that, would eviscerate us.
Yeah, but there's no precedent for that.
They'll never do that.
They'll renegotiate.
- Well, that depends.
- On what? Well, you see, the banks know that the man they invested in can no longer function, and as far as they're concerned, you're just some kid with nice hair.
You're making it quite fucking difficult to savor this moment, Gerri.
I'm sorry about that.
Don't jump.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) DOCTOR: We had hoped to see a response by now, but what we do know is that he's stable.
So if you want to grab some sleep, this is a good time.
See you soon.
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