Succession (2018) s02e07 Episode Script

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1 GERRI KELLMAN: We had a tip off some time ago, New York Magazine working on a substantial piece.
HUGO BAKER: They found a woman.
She was working the cruises back in the mid 90s.
She says Uncle Mo asked for sex with her and the other dancers to get their contracts renewed.
So you know when you had me destroy those documents at Cruises? Well, I kept a few.
(CHUCKLES) Where are they, those papers? - I'll never tell.
- (LAUGHS) My dad has assured me that this is not a major issue.
I don't want to overdramatize, but Nan gets cold feet and your dad could lose control.
Sometimes, I think you just need a good old-fashioned dinosaur cull.
- ROMAN: You barbecued him, live.
- Don't fuck with me! - It's over.
- RHEA JERRELL: Come on.
Calm down.
You spoke to Logan on the 13th.
I would like your resignation.
I don't appreciate being hustled.
What the fuck?! Fuck off.
Get out of here.
Fuck off! You don't have a connection for some powder, do you? - Yeah? - Yeah.
Look out! - KENDALL ROY: (CHUCKLING) No! - Yes! - No, no fucking way! - Yes! - No.
- What? Why not? I mean, what, like, what what what are you even gonna do with it? I'm gonna look at it.
And make an assessment.
(KENDALL CHUCKLES) No.
How's Venice? Kendall, this is not a request; it's a demand.
I am not sending you a picture of my dick.
Okay? No.
No Why? NAOMI PIERCE: I need it for my records.
I can't say this clearly enough.
Dick pic! - I hear you.
- Dick pic! (CHANTING) Dick pic! Dick pic! Dick pic! Okay, fine.
Fine, fine, fuck you, fine.
Jesus.
- KENDALL: Fuck.
- (NAOMI LAUGHS) I mean, how do you even do this? - So, like, what was wrong? - Nothing.
Nothing.
It was great.
It was great.
Why didn't you send it to me before? Just because after Dinosaur-gate, I just I wanted to get out a clear statement - and show them I'm not a sourpuss.
- Uh-huh.
Yeah.
And y'know, I just, I got into it.
And I wanted to show 'em I have a positive plan, and (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) Oh, fuck.
No, Shiv.
Like, raw raw is good.
It's memorable.
Y'know, it's Find an audience with an income and a pulse.
Yes, that's what I'm I'm not saying no to the center because I'm I'm saying follow the ad revenue.
- No, yeah.
No, sure.
- Can you hold this? I think the cynicism was pretty clear.
- What up, sis? - Hey.
(TOM CHUCKLES) Mega-dump and a line! SIOBHAN "SHIV" ROY: This is all It's just It's bullshit.
Because what it is, really, it's just - it's displacement activity.
- Yeah.
I just need to find him and ask him, "Is it still happening? Is it still me?" Just, y'know, thrash it out.
You don't wanna thrash.
You wanna Oh, hey there! - Hi! - How are you? - SHIV: Hey, Peter.
- TOM WAMBSGANS: It's been It's been a long time.
Look, the shareholders want a CEO successor named before the shareholder meeting.
- They have made that clear.
- Mm-hmm.
So, if you're serious about us as a dream ticket, it'd be smart to be able to preempt any bad stuff that could come out if you came under the spotlight.
Okay, okay.
Well, you want me to just tell you all the terrible things that I, Roman Roy, have ever done? How would you feel if I had some oppo research done? See what a tenacious bottom-feeder could grub up on you? I'd say that sounds like fun.
Oh! We went Blanch.
Oh, thank you, Gerri.
- ROMAN ROY: Thank you, Gerri.
- (WHISPERING) Blanch! - For the internal investigation? - Blanch and Partners.
Beautiful, soft-soaping fucks! That interview is going to be like - slipping into a bubble bath.
- Yeah.
I'll just light a scented candle in there, put some Eagles on and start playing with myself.
(CHUCKLES) They came.
Look at them.
All the little piggies at the trough.
(CHUCKLES) All the cruise noise, a fucking nothing burger.
Reassured now that they still love you? LOGAN ROY: (LAUGHS) Love.
Fear.
Whatever.
- (WHISPERS) Could I have a word? - Yeah.
Fine.
- Hey, Dad.
- In a minute, Shiv.
Uh, I I'm sorry but I should just Y'know? In a minute.
- MARCIA: Oh, hey.
- Hi.
- Okay? - Yeah.
MARCIA: Hm? (FAIRGROUND MUSIC PLAYS) Hey, brother.
I'll get one.
Sure thing! That'll be 18,000 dollars.
NARRATOR: Ever feel like you're being fed a bad investment? Logan Roy and his family are taking a once-great media brand down a dead end.
Corporate Governance.
Fail! Acquisition strategy.
Fail! Succession planning.
Fail! The Roys are failing Waystar.
As a shareholder, you can replace Logan Roy's rubber-stamp board right now.
Vote and let this year's shareholder meeting launch a fresh start for Waystar, the company you own.
Cool.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ON VIDEO) FRANK VERNON: So Sandy and Stewy have sent out thousands of them.
All major shareholders.
What does DF King say? They say it might be time to start getting worried.
LOGAN: Uh-huh.
Yeah, we've had some disappointing feedback on a couple of key investors.
LOGAN: Uh-huh.
The Pierce pursuit has played badly in some quarters.
Jack, the Ulsterman is wavering.
He's four percent, isn't he? We should have a conversation.
With that fat fuck? Fuck that guy.
You should jam your dick in his one good artery.
FRANK: There's also one other person who has a significant chunk of stock who we hear is no longer solid.
Your mother, Caroline.
- (LOGAN GROANS) - KENDALL: Really? Mom? What is she, three percent voting stock? GERRI KELLMAN: Uh-huh.
We'd been kinda counting on them.
I mean, we're at 36 percent.
Without their seven to add, that is scary.
I'll talk to her.
Let her know this isn't funny, and that she can kill you with the wrong move.
Well, I imagine that's quite a large part of the attraction.
We think that it'd be really helpful to get you to the UK for a personal appeal to Jack.
Like, tomorrow.
Roman, Kendall, Shiv could hit their mom.
Okay.
London.
I'll take care of the Ulsterman, you're on your mom, but keep it simple.
No Shiv.
I'm I'm sorry Wait.
You mean London, all of us, you mean? - LOGAN: Mm.
- Are you sure we need to? That's like, uh What are we? A fucking octopus? Giving, like, reach-arounds to to every fish on the reef now or ? All right, relax, branzino-porno-man.
LOGAN: It's fine.
It's fine.
Colin will come.
Uh, Kerry, uh, we can fix it, right? You can reshuffle the Dundee stuff? KERRY: About the journalism wing? Yeah, I'm sure they'll come to you.
Then straight to Singapore, Christchurch, do it that way.
LOGAN: I need to make some calls.
Kerry, we're hunkering.
Frank, Gerri, let's get down to it.
It's going to be an all-nighter.
- Hey, Rome.
- Yeah.
What's happening? Where's Dad? - We're supposed to be talking.
- Ye Yeah, yeah, something came in.
He's hunkering.
He wanted me to tell you, "Sorry, rain check.
Maybe in the a.
m.
Maybe.
" Are your nips hard? They must be, because you are so out in the cold.
("SUCCESSION" THEME MUSIC PLAYS) (THEME MUSIC ENDS) - Uh, Tom Wambsgans.
- Yeah.
Hi.
Thanks for making the time.
No, not at all.
Big priority.
No, I managed to push all my gropes to this afternoon.
- (LAUGHS) I'm just kidding.
- Yeah.
This is my colleague, Stefan Strauss.
- Hey, hey, hi.
- How do you do? - My name's Kenneth Chan - Hi.
and we're with Blanch and Partners.
Yes.
We are helping to investigate historic sexual abuse - TOM: Uh-huh.
- and associated wrongdoings at Brightstar Cruises.
- Sure.
- So, as head of the division - we were hoping you could - Well, briefly, I, uh, I I followed Bill's long reign.
Um, I was but a minnow trailing in the wake of of Bill, the big sperm whale, the legend.
(CHUCKLES) Sure, but in terms of your time at Parks, were you aware of any historical allegations that had been dealt with other than in a way outlined in the corporate guidelines? In my brief spell, um, I don't at this time, recall anything that at that time, would have caused me any real concern.
Okay.
Well, we can take a dig into that in a moment, - but for now - Sure.
in terms of records and document-keeping Uh-huh.
Well, we need to locate all written information relevant to this investigation, and safeguard it from destruction, negligence, malfeasance.
Are you aware of any document destruction which might hinder our inquiries? I I think, um You know what? I You know what? I just I've just realized we're gonna be here for a while, and I wanna give you my best attention, but I really need to pee.
(CHUCKLING) W We'd rather you stayed here.
I've got this pathetically weak bladder.
I'm like an old woman who's had a baby somehow.
- So, I'm gonna - KENNETH: Well But I'm I'm so sorry.
- I'll be right back.
Okay.
- (LAWYERS MUMBLE) Who's the pilot today? Not Serge, right? - No, sir.
Serge is off rotation.
- LOGAN: Good.
I like a boring bastard flying me.
Serge always looks as if his dick's still wet, and he's gonna give me the name of a good fucking pinot.
Are you all right, son? Mm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I'm good.
Thanks for the ride.
LOGAN: It's good to see you.
Good to see you, too, Dad.
I hope we can swing it with Mom.
Yeah, I I was gonna say, you know, that thing up at Argestes Oh.
No, yeah.
Mm-mm.
It's not I I didn't even know you were there.
I mean, if I did, I would Y'know? Oh, I know.
Yeah, I know.
Sure.
Did I even make contact? Um I don't think s Yeah, I'm not quite sure what we're talking about, - to be honest.
- Because that's not something I'd do.
Y'know? Yeah, I know.
I know that.
I know.
I know.
Fucking cars, buildings, everywhere.
RHEA JARRELL: He didn't tell you I was coming? No.
No, he did not.
For a media guy, he's not the greatest communicator.
RHEA: Thank you.
I was going anyway to check out some theater, and he asked would I talk through a couple things with him.
- Bounce some stuff.
- KENDALL: Uh-huh.
- You feelin' bouncy? - Honestly? A little deflated.
After all the retreats I've done, you know, still got a bit of an ego.
Uh-huh.
Hey! Hi! (CHUCKLING) (CHUCKLING) Hey! Oh.
Hey, Rhea.
- Dad, Rhea's here.
- LOGAN: Yeah, well Not a big deal.
ROMAN: Course it's not a big deal.
Why would it be? - LOGAN: It's convenient.
- Okay, well, here we go.
Roy boys on tour, and we got 'em in all sizes.
Alpha, beta, cuck.
He's fucking leaving the country? Rather than speak to me.
How long have you known this? Plans change, so He wanted to apologize.
Bullshit.
- TOM: Hey.
- You Hey, Shiv.
Hey.
- Hey.
- What Hey, oh - Do you know he's gone? - TOM: Can I ask you about something? Can you believe this? He's gone.
And his fucking flunkies didn't even tell me, running interference for him.
I won't have it.
I'm not gonna chase him around the party like a schoolgirl with a crush.
No, absolutely.
Hey, um, I just wanted to check it definitely is bullshit this this internal investigation? Y'know, he hasn't even responded to the memo.
TOM: Because that didn't feel all that bullshitty.
It wasn't all softballs? You ever been hit in the face with a softball? I mean, just how inside this are you? 'Cause there isn't a world, is there, in which I get hung out to dry, in which I have to play the fuckbag? - Is there? I mean - No.
he supports me, right? Logan? I mean, never mind the jokes and the "ha ha", he's not gonna fry me, is he? No, Tom.
No.
I You know what? I think I have to go out there.
I have to go and fix this, okay? You okay? Sure.
RHEA: Oh, sure.
"Sure".
Don't poke the bear.
He can take anything.
Load him up.
Oh, I don't fucking know.
All this energy.
I'm gonna have to fight now for every fucking shareholder vote.
My ex-wife, my old friends turning.
I kill Sandy.
Sandy kills me.
So fucking what? The next Zucker-fucker comes along and swallows you whole.
Shits you out as an app.
(WEAKLY) Yeah We've had some private polling on potential next CEOs, who'd play well.
I'd value your thoughts.
On the kids? Who's got it? Huh? I (CHUCKLES) I could do with a clear eye.
As execs, okay.
Well Shiv thinks she's smarter than she is.
Roman could actually be good, but, um but nowhere near right now.
Kendall's I don't know.
It's like you put him in a big diaper, and now he can shit himself whenever he likes.
- (CHUCKLES) - Uh, he has all the shots but he doesn't know when to play them.
- (LOGAN LAUGHS) - I I don't know.
(CHUCKLING) Yikes.
Look at them.
Fucking coochie-fucking-coo.
Yeah, I haven't seen him like this for a while.
Yeah, not since Sally Anne and the summer of the horses.
- Remember that shit? - Right.
- ROMAN: Well - Do you think, um like, do you think they're fucking? Oh my God, could you imagine? Like a rhino fucking a hummingbird.
She'd have to go cowgirl, right? Otherwise, he'd just like snap her like a candy cane.
Dude, are you like talking yourself hard right now? Boys! Come on through.
ROMAN: Come through, I guess.
All right.
Come through what? - So - ROMAN: Mm-hm? Shiv's memo.
KENDALL: Okay, we're we're we're what? We're putting the concept of Siobhan on the table for general discussion? You're tearing apart my sister's pious bullshit for your entertainment? I had a dream like this once.
It's just good to air some views.
ROMAN: Mm.
KENDALL: Okay.
Yeah, I mean, I think the the twin quotes from Thomas Aquinas and Amelia Earhart really - (ALL LAUGH) - kick us off with a bang.
ROMAN: Wow, so many pictures.
All the smiling children, all the various hues, that that melted the heart - of even this hardened racist.
- (RHEA LAUGHS) I I like the spacing.
Um Luxurious.
- It is.
- But the protein.
Well, there's no shortage of concepts, for sure.
It's a rich gumbo of ideas and buzz words.
Look, we should be gentle.
It's easy to be overly critical of the workings of a major corporation when you have no experience running one.
I You can't blame her for a lack of experience.
Well, sure you can.
Just watch, you'll get the hang of it - soon enough.
- (RHEA LAUGHS) GREG HIRSCH: No, thanks.
But those are really good.
Those are organic.
I'll grab him and see what's Hey, Tom.
- TOM: Hey, Greg! How ya doin'? - Good, good.
Yeah.
- Hey, bud.
- Good, yeah.
Just busy.
Just, uh Why are you, um - Sure, what's going on? - Um, I'm just have a few, uh, - a few pals over for dinner.
- Ooh, look at you, Fancy Dan.
The Greg Man.
(LAUGHS) What are you talking about? - Hey.
- Welcome to the next wave.
Just a talking shop for renewal.
(MOCKING) "Just a talking shop for renewal".
- (TOM LAUGHS) - (CHUCKLES FEEBLY) No, no, no.
It's good.
It's good.
We're good.
Listen, I wanted to, um, I wanted to ask you.
I was in the area, actually, that's why I came round.
I wanted to ask you, uh, how was today with the guys? The interview? Oh, yeah.
Um Uh, yeah.
Okay, I - Uh, a little bit jittery.
- Mm-hmm.
Uh, a bit of a stress comedown.
- Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
- You know, I, uh, got a haircut.
Even though I didn't really need a haircut.
- Right.
- I think I just wanted someone to touch my head, you know.
Soothing.
And, um, - I guess I found it a little bit stressful - Uh-huh.
Great.
Great.
So, here's my thing.
Greg, you know the papers? The copies? I want them.
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
I did my part of the deal.
You got the office, a pretty little Gustav Klimt poster up there, and now it's time for me to habeas the corpus.
GREG: No, right, right.
I I I mean, I just guess, uh I I just guess that they're, like, my insurance policy.
Yeah, but you don't need an insurance policy.
Well, in case things were to turn nasty.
They're not gonna turn nasty.
Okay? No one's gonna break your legs, y'know? Okay, well that feels a bit nasty.
But it's the insurance which is causing the nastiness.
If you were uninsured, you'd be a lot safer.
Ironically.
Okay, well, they're not actually here, - so I don't really know what to tell you.
- Okay.
Greg.
Greg, Greg.
Look.
Okay, you played your hand very well.
I like it.
- (CHUCKLES) - I do.
But we need to end this now.
Or I tell Logan that you took copies of sensitive documents.
O Okay, that Well, I don't Okay, well, I I keep them at I keep them at the office.
You keep them at the office? Yeah.
'Cause they're work.
I'll go I'll go in early, and I'll give them to you first thing tomorrow.
Right.
Right.
(SNAPS FINGERS) But But But Except I can't trust you.
- (SIGHS) - Okay, it's not personal.
I just can't trust you.
So, in a friendly way, I'm staying here tonight, and I'm gonna travel in with you tomorrow, and I'm gonna go with you to wherever you have the papers, - and then later, together - Dude.
we're gonna dispose of them off-premises.
And if you squeal or you try to take copies, - I'll break your legs.
- (CHUCKLES) Sorry, I hope you didn't mind eating in.
But it's just paps in this town, fucking animals.
Oh, sure.
If only someone had some influence over them.
(CHUCKLES) RHEA: You okay? Ah.
Siobhan's coming over.
Apparently, she's all fired up.
I imagine you've seen a few temper tantrums - from your children.
- LOGAN: Oh, I don't know.
She wants answers.
Okay.
What if you're right? What if she doesn't have it in her? That's not exactly what I said.
I worry for her.
Y'know, maybe I jumped too fast.
Nothing's been said publicly though, right? With Kendall, it wasn't the best situation.
Maybe I should just say "Fuck it" and let her do it.
I don't fucking know.
When does she get in? LOGAN: Tomorrow.
You know, if you wanted me to I think I might be able to help you make this go away.
It's delicate.
RHEA: Would you like me to try? Let me see what I can do.
(SWALLOWS) You wanna stay over or what? Oh.
Okay.
Um I wasn't expecting that.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) GERRI: Okay, so look.
From the oppo research on you, - I'm gonna ask you some yes-nos.
- ROMAN: Uh-huh.
GERRI: Did you get jerked off by your personal trainer at the end of sessions? Um Nope.
No.
No, I did not.
- Libel.
- GERRI: Uh-huh.
There's rumors of a face tattoo situation.
Uh no memory of that.
No.
- Uh-huh.
- KENDALL: Hey, dude.
Have you seen this? From UK Comms? Oh, what? - Oh.
Hey, Gerri, have you - GERRI: What? seen this? I'll call you back.
- Where's Dad? - Shit.
- Is he awake? - I don't know.
Is he, uh like, on his own? Did Rhea go home? They were having Scotches when I came in.
I was at Edward's hell hole in Mayfair.
When did you get in? Did you bring a piece of ass back with you? - 'Cause I think I heard.
- He needs to see this.
You think Should I wake him? I think so, yeah.
Fuck it, he needs to see this.
I'm gonna get him up.
ROMAN: Wake him up.
Definitely.
(SING-SONG) You're gonna see him boning.
You're gonna see him boning.
Dad.
ROMAN: Just go in.
He needs to see the story.
- Go in.
- (WHISPERS) Dude, fuck you.
Okay, I'm coming in, Dad.
- Dad.
- LOGAN: Huh? Where the fuck am I? GERRI: The family's line is emotional distress.
KAROLINA NOVOTNEY: Yes, they're saying you punched him, which caused him, in effect, to drive his car into the river.
LOGAN: I did not punch anyone.
Yeah, this is, um this is incorrect.
LOGAN: I never touched that kid.
Well, I mean shouted a little.
- Jostled a glass but - Stop mumbling! At At most, you shouted.
Oh! Did Oh, I shouted him into the river? No, that's what I mean.
I'm I'm saying that it's not right.
This (SIGHS) I should never have come.
I walked into a trap.
I've been badly advised.
You hear that, Gerri? Karolina? - Yeah.
- Yes, we heard.
- LOGAN: Is Hugo there? - Uh-huh.
I don't think we have any huge concerns in terms of legal liabilities, right? Oh, fuck no.
No, they're saying you owed a duty of care and threatening legal action, but that won't fly.
HUGO BAKER: The issue is we hear that they may come to the US, and appear on the Morning Juice with this, - which would not be - GERRI: From what I hear, what they really want is actually just the apology.
Uh-huh.
- GERRI: A personal apology.
- No.
HUGO: Sure.
I guess the only thing is, in terms of the proxy battle GERRI: It's Sandy's tabloid that's stirring this up.
- They went and interviewed them.
- Of course.
GERRI: It's a transparent effort - to rattle our shareholders.
- Uh-huh.
HUGO: How about we offer a visit to the family? We may be able to get a statement out of them absolving you of guilt.
Just say sorry, and for all the distress.
But we make it clear that Sandy and Stewy are beating their drum with the bones of a dead kid.
So it rebounds.
You think that gets me out? - KAROLINA AND HUGO: Definitely.
- GERRI: Yes.
LOGAN: Yeah.
Well, I suppose everybody has to apologize for everything now-a-days.
Okay.
Okay.
Set it up.
- HUGO: Great.
- GERRI: Will do.
On it.
Bye, guys.
You have a fun night, Dad? - What the fuck does that mean? - ROMAN: Nothin'.
- Oh, hi.
- Hey.
- Okay.
All right.
- NAOMI: Hey.
KENDALL: Uh, Dad.
You remember Naomi Pierce.
Uh, she was in Venice at the Biennale, so, it was easy for her to pop over and ROMAN: Ah, Italian take out.
Nice.
Thanks for having me.
How's your cousin? She actually is taking the month off - to visit British Columbia.
- LOGAN: Oh, I bet she is.
NAOMI: I think the whole sale experience - was quite draining for her.
- Yeah.
Ooh, I can only imagine.
Naomi, uh, send her my love and the whole fucking gang, won't you? Boys, I need five on strategy - in private.
- KENDALL: Yep.
- NAOMI: Mm-hmm.
- I'll, uh - Later.
- I'll see you over there.
Bye.
Nice.
(DOOR SLAMS) So on your mom.
- Probably just bullshit.
- Mm-hmm.
She's always been a piece of work.
See if you can sweet talk her.
And if necessary, make her an offer that brings her back into line.
I need her three percent.
Well, what do we have to play with? LOGAN: Well, cash is difficult because it looks like a bribe, - but, uh - So reopen the divorce settlement, maybe? Yeah.
Offer her ten million.
See if she pipes down.
I'll go as high as 50, but I won't be happy.
Exciting.
Grinding Mom down.
So looking forward to dinner? - (SCOFFS) - Yeah, last time I ate there, it was three muddy trout for six and fill up on mustard.
(GIGGLES) Oh, poor bastards.
Slim pickings, huh? Whatever happens, we need her vote.
- Whatever it takes.
- Whatever it takes.
Right.
All right, Dad.
Got it.
But I don't like being fucked.
So, screw her out a bit.
Anything you save under the 50, we can split.
Well, that oughta cover the subsequent therapy.
- Yeah.
No, no.
I'm kiddin'.
- Yep.
Me, too.
- We need her.
- Got it.
(DOOR CLOSES) What, did Rhea stay late or Did you guys Why? Uh, nothing.
No.
No, no, no.
I mean, just, um I I just wanted to say and don't take this the wrong way, like Are you sure this thing with Rhea is a good idea? It It feels like Yeah, it feels like she could be playing you? - I can take care of myself.
- KENDALL: Sure.
I I know you can take care of yourself, and you know, your business is your business.
I'm just You're the one who's cunt-struck.
Whoa.
Okay, uh (SCOFFS) No, I I'm I'm just It's just maybe not a good look.
The old f Not Not the old fool, but, y'know - That That's not what I'm saying.
- LOGAN: Uh-huh.
I'm I'm saying that's how she could make you seem.
Just Just being honest.
- I appreciate it.
- (KENDALL SIGHS) Okay, well, uh I think Na Naomi wants me to take her to The Regent's Park Zoo.
Apparently, we're in a fucking Simon and Garfunkel song.
- So, um, I'll travel to Mom's - I think we should do a bit of, uh, brainstorming.
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
LOGAN: Will you come with me? As in Down to the boy's family.
Right.
I mean - Yeah? - Yeah.
Oh.
Okay.
We should stick together on this.
Don't you agree? (MUSIC PLAYS) Is Dad here? ATTENDANT: Would you like a drink of some kind? Uh, no, I'm fine.
Thanks.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) Hey, what's poppin', Malala Roy? Uh, where's Dad? ROMAN: Oh, were you chasing the dragon? He is ghost.
Again.
- Isn't that cool? - For fuck's sake.
Where is he? He's seeing the Ulsterman, no? ROMAN: Paying homage to a dead kid's parents.
He's seeing the Ulsterman at the races.
Hey, really very much enjoyed your little me-mo.
- What the fuck? - (GIGGLING) Oh yeah, it was, uh very compelling.
It was like eye crack.
W Uh, well, has Dad read it? ROMAN: Has he not got back to you? 'Cause he read it yesterday, so he has had a ton of time.
- For fuck's sake.
- (GIGGLING) Yeah, we all read it.
It was a little round table thing; me, Ken, Dad, Rhea.
Rhea? Rhea's in town? Do you know nothing of the company you're supposed to be taking over? Y'know, Waystar? Waystar Royco? We do hate speech and roller coasters.
- (PHONE RINGS) - Fuck you.
TOM: Okay.
Okay.
Um, before I hand these over, could could I actually make one final request? Uh, Leo, my neighbor here, uh, he sneezes like a cartoon character, so, I was thinking maybe a corner office Don't overplay your hand, Gregory.
Come on.
- Okay, w - Come on.
"Secret", Greg? Yeah? But not "Top Secret".
Interesting.
Just "Secret", that's smart.
Just so people know, you know, - that these are secret.
- They're secret.
Yeah.
I don't know, 'cause sometimes, the janitors, they come and throw stuff out and, uh But look, the actual envelope says "Receipts".
Ooh! But they're not, in fact, receipts.
(GASPS) Greg! You're a criminal mastermind.
What polyglot genius could ever hope to crack your impenetrable code? - Shut up.
- God.
- Easy.
- Sorry.
RHEA: Thanks for making time.
Yeah, well, uh, you know, an unexpected, uh, gap in the schedule.
And you what, you just happen to be here? - Seeing some theater.
- Oh, lovely.
"See some theater".
And your dad offered me the ride.
And look, it's it's good to chat.
Because he's he's a very Your dad's a tough guy.
I I took it pretty hard getting fired.
Yeah, sure.
Sure, and you know, we appreciate what you tried to do for us.
But he's been kind.
He's been kind to me.
People don't talk about his kindness.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, no they don't.
Not a great deal.
Look, I'm being very frank.
I hope that's okay.
- Is it too much or bad? - SHIV: Yeah No, uh Thank you.
I feel we have a connection and I like you.
And I know what it's like to fight your way through in our industry, you know? Yeah.
No, sure, I I appreciate it.
Because you must be fond of Marcia.
So Uh yeah, we have a, um, relationship.
Yeah, you know, a very functioning relationship.
(CHUCKLES) Well, look, yeah, I don't know what to say.
I just like you and I I Your father's a very appealing man, - and I hope - No, it's fine.
It's No, it's good to check before you fuck someone's dad.
- (BOTH LAUGH) - SHIV: I mean, yeah.
Do your due diligence, your paperwork.
Do I need to sign like a release form or ? I feel like a total idiot, - so, congratulations.
- (SHIV LAUGHS) - No, you shouldn't.
It's No.
- RHEA: No? 'Cause you play your cards pretty close.
Oh, who says I have cards? But you're okay? Uh honestly, no.
I feel like a flame-roasted, wood-fired dipshit.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, I did the thing that I said I was never gonna do, and Now, I don't know.
I don't I don't know.
Uh-huh.
Well, the problem is it just so happens you're very smart and talented, Siobhan.
Thank you.
But (SCOFFS) what does my dad think? Right? I've managed to get myself into this situation where "What does my dad think?" is my entire fucking universe.
Well, I mean maybe Maybe, isn't now the time to just let him know, you know? You have options.
(SCOFFS) Okay, yeah, but I can't bluff him.
Sure, but I happen to know there's a media operation in need of a dynamic new CEO.
And I happen to know Nan Pierce has a certain regard for you.
And I happen to know she wouldn't mind putting a fucking sharp, burnt stick in your dad's cyclops eye.
(CHUCKLES) Oh Uh, me at Pierce? That's never gonna happen, is it? RHEA: Uh, I don't know.
But I can get it floated with clean hands, and they'll consider it for sure.
Then it's all upside.
Keep it in your back pocket, lay it out to your dad, or even take the job.
Well, uh let me think about it.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
And, uh So, what are whatcha doin' tonight, Dad? Tonight? Cheltenham.
- Uh, the Ulsterman.
- Oh, yeah.
Watch him eat a fucking horse.
Then, I don't know.
I You know, I might have dinner with Rhea.
Yeah.
Great.
Yeah, she's never been to Cheltenham.
Yeah, well, it could be nice to see Cheltenham.
Excuse me? You got a problem? No.
(MUSIC PLAYS) Look at this place.
- MAX: How you doin'? - COLIN: Hi.
I'm Colin.
- Max.
Pleasure.
- He's with you? - Yeah, he's the one.
- Yeah.
So, what do we got? Mom? Dad? MAX: And the boy's uncle is here also.
Ah.
(SIGHS) This is Phillip Cleave.
He'll take a few photographs.
- I'll put together some press comments.
- Uh-huh.
LOGAN: Uh Actually, Ken.
Why don't you come in with me? KENDALL: You want me Well, you know, it looks a little weird.
You know, I bring you all this way, and you sit in the car like a Labrador.
Come in.
MAX: Paul, Andrew's uncle.
Paul, pleased to meet you.
Logan Roy.
And this is my son, Kendall.
Oh, uh Hi.
Hello.
PAUL: Steven and Theresa are in the lounge - if you'd like to come in.
- Please.
(CAMERA CLICKING) LOGAN: Ah, Theresa.
Steven.
STEVEN: Hi.
Hello.
- Steven.
- Logan Roy.
THERESA: (DISTANT) Would like a tea or a coffee? LOGAN: Well, uh, yeah, that's kind.
I'm good.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for seeing me.
You know, this has been a terrible tragedy.
STEVEN: Of course.
THERESA: Oh, sorry.
Take a seat.
(MUFFLED CONVERSATION CONTINUES) (DOOR OPENS) PAUL: I'm doing teas.
Oh, um, no, not for me.
Thank you.
Thanks.
PAUL: Water? Uh, yes.
Actually, thank you.
Yes, please.
PAUL: You staying at your mother's? Um, yep.
Yes, I am.
(DOOR OPENS) (DOOR CLOSES) Okay, let's go.
KENDALL: Hey, Dad.
Do you think I should maybe say something to them? No.
(MUSIC PLAYS) (MUSIC CONCLUDES) Poor bastards.
They've been through the ringer, you know? Fuck knows how they cope.
They're embarrassed, really.
They knew he was a druggie.
Yeah, that is life.
Don't forget it.
Right? (SIGHS) You know, there's nothing to be ashamed of.
Our stuff.
We give them a bit of a laugh, some decent TV to watch, news that doesn't talk down to them.
Good fucking people.
Nice fucking folk.
(LOGAN SIGHS) You know, Dad won't be pleased.
Well, she demanded my attendance, so Oh, more scared of Mom than Dad, huh? Interesting.
What is this? A museum of wartime food? This is for display, right? None of this edible.
SHIV: (SIGHS) What did we buy last time we came? Um It was a Scotch egg that I thought was a huge arancini, and some lard.
I'm just gonna get a banana.
Can't get food poisoning from bananas.
You'd be surprised.
GREG: Hello? Hey, hi hi hi, I'm involved in a criminal conspiracy.
"Oh, really?" Yes, yes, I am.
Yes, I I destroyed some papers that I shouldn't have.
"Oh, did you?" Yes, I did.
Is that bad? "Uh, yeah, that's bad.
Yeah, that could be bad.
You could go to jail.
Yeah, would you like that? Would you like that, pretty boy like you? Would you like it? Oh, you might Oh, you might even like that.
" Male rape.
Rape of the male.
(SIGHS) That was lower jacket pocket.
Lower jacket pocket.
(CLEARS THROAT) This is inside pocket.
All aboard inside pocket.
This is inside pocket.
This is inside pocket.
Here I am, I'm moving.
I'm moving.
I'm moving.
Brisk movement.
Brisk movement.
This is faster.
Okay, wind is blowing.
And I'm talking louder.
"No, I don't remember, Greg.
No, I don't remember.
" Okay.
(PHONE PLAYS BACK CONVERSATION) criminal conspiracy.
"Oh, oh, really?" ROMAN: Thank you, sir.
SHIV: Mom? CAROLINE COLLINGWOOD: Hello! - Hey! - CAROLINE: Hello! - Hi.
Hello.
- Siobhan.
Ro-Ro! Hey, Mommy! Thank you for coming down.
Yeah, well, just following orders.
Like a Nazi.
Mm-hmm.
Exactly.
Right? Well, you're in the country, so what were you going to do? Go out whoring in Soho? Yeah, that would have been the first choice.
Well, look, Kendall's gone to the pub apparently, so, I've just had a little bit of pigeon done.
Didn't think anyone would be feeling terribly hungry.
I know I'm not.
SHIV: No, right.
- Don't want a great - Course not.
bolus of gubbins.
- Take a plate.
- Thank you.
Catch.
So, how are you? Well, I might just as well ask you if you're going to go into all that.
Uh It was (CHUCKLES) Wasn't intended as an aggressive question, Mom.
It's CAROLINE: No, I'm fine.
Rory's wonderful.
Mm-hmm.
CAROLINE: So, should I be mother? Yeah, why don't you give it a go? (MOCKING LAUGH) Yes, well, I'm sorry it's not a 48-ounce T-bone steak with truffle fries, but there we go.
Some of us don't want coronary heart attacks.
It's nice, Mom.
It's nice.
There's quite a lot of shot in the pigeon, so mind how you go or you'll crack a tooth.
And the shot can take a bit of feather in, too.
Mm, shot and feather.
Shall we begin with the negotiation straight away? (SHIV LAUGHS) The first time I've had you in for the night in a decade.
It's just a shame it's so you can put the squeeze on me - for your father.
- Ma, it's not like that.
- No? - ROMAN: No.
Tell me, what does it feel like being sent here to wheedle out your mother.
(CHUCKLES) Don't look at me.
I'm not getting involved.
She's right.
Oh.
Thank you.
Thank you, a bit of solidarity.
Twenty years too late, but never mind.
Someone's taking Mommy's side.
If If you want to get into it, you're just posturing, right? And if you go with Sandy and Stewy, you're burning down the Coliseum with your children inside it.
I've thought about it.
I've discussed with Rory.
Yeah, well, great to get his brain on it.
Potatoes.
He's actually rather clever.
Yeah, before he rolls one of his tobacco and hash monstrosities.
- Oh my God.
- CAROLINE: Sorry, what was that? (MOCK BRITISH) Nothing, Mum.
There's a number.
Ah, here we go.
The chiseling begins.
This'll be good.
How much can we screw out of our dear old mother? Well, Dad, unrelated to the vote of course, is willing to reopen the divorce settlement.
CAROLINE: So, what's the number? Well, what do you want? I want to piss off your father.
Well, I think that's working.
Mm-hm.
Come on, help yourselves.
All right then, come on.
What's his top number? Well, he told me to tell you ten, but it's 40.
- So, it's 50.
- N No, it's 40.
(CHUCKLES) Roman, you're not very good at this.
No, what's the real top? - He doesn't have the real top.
- (CHUCKLES) Dad would never tell him.
I know what I'd like.
Tell him the summer palace.
The Hamptons House.
You hate it out there.
Yeah, but he loves it, doesn't he? He loves the parties, the clam bakes with people who despise him.
Such fun.
ROMAN: But that's like What is that? That's like 150 million.
It doesn't matter, Roman.
It's just numbers.
I'll have a word with Jack the Ulsterman, too.
Can throw that in.
- Okay.
But - CAROLINE: Or How about 20 million and you kids give me Christmas every year.
Oh, come on.
Mom, don't make it like I would like to come for Christmas.
Sure.
No You never invite us.
Well, that's because you've made it quite clear - you wouldn't come.
- SHIV: That was one time.
CAROLINE: That was several times.
- I was 18.
- CAROLINE: Look.
I would like to see you for Christmas instead of you always being with your father.
Why don't you ask him what he'd rather? He can keep the summer palace if I get the family every Christmas.
You have to have good lines of communication after a divorce.
It's absolutely key.
So, I think we have to hear which he'd prefer.
Let's make him choose.
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) - (MUSIC CONCLUDES) - (KETTLE WHISTLING) Y'know, it's a shame you didn't make it to supper.
It ended up being rather a nice evening.
I'm sorry I missed it.
CAROLINE: Turned out your father was prepared to sell you all off like chattels to keep a piece of real estate, but that doesn't surprise me.
You're gonna be okay to come for Christmas, I take it? - Uh-huh.
- CAROLINE: Great.
- Hey, Mom.
Mom.
- Mm-hmm.
I I, uh have some some things I'd like to, um to talk about.
To To tell you.
No more long lists of my emotional deficiencies.
KENDALL: No, Mom.
No, it's, uh It's something I've done that I don't feel great about.
Oh.
Right.
Oh dear.
Do you think maybe we can talk? Sure.
Absolutely.
Go ahead, but, um Yeah, but are they quite difficult things? Because you know a bit tired for home truths.
Right.
Um Well, yeah, it's a bit difficult.
Okay.
Mm-mm.
Well go on.
- It's fine.
- No, no.
I want to.
Come on.
- KENDALL: It's okay.
- CAROLINE: No.
If you want, we can absolutely do it now, but you know, it might be better to do it over an egg? KENDALL: Sure.
Uh-huh.
Let's Let's do it over an egg.
Yeah.
We'll feel better in the morning, and we can do it tomorrow.
Okay.
Sleep tight, sweet boy.
Fuck.
Du Yeah, h how did it come to this, huh? Uh-huh.
- GREG: How did it come to this? - TOM: You're right.
- What's th - You're right.
No one will ever know.
No one will ever know you sent me to shred the records of off-book hush-money and illegal intimidation.
Huh? - Yeah.
- (CHUCKLING) Put on the disappearing sauce.
Sauce it.
Sauce it.
Okay.
(CLEARS THROAT) A little purifying flame.
- Okay, stand back.
- Oh, yeah.
(LIGHTER CLICKS) (CLICKING CONTINUES) Okay, just a minute.
The evidence does not want to be destroyed.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) GREG: Ow! F "Oh, Lord of Malfeasance, give us your divine blessing.
" - (CHUCKLES) Hey, hold my beer? - Hey! Yep.
GREG: Whoa, whoa! BOTH: (CHUCKLING) Hey! - Yeah.
- Good! (MUSIC CONTINUES) - RECEPTIONIST: Hi, there.
- Hi, uh I'm here to see Logan Roy.
Sure, this gentleman will show you to him.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) Hey, Dad.
Siobhan.
Oh They told me you were here.
- This is unexpected.
- SHIV: Oh.
Yeah, we were due a check-in with the memo.
And then you fled the country, then you fled London.
- Well - So My schedule goes through Kerry.
We've had some emergencies.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, you're kind of elusive, Dad.
Why didn't you tell me you were coming? (CHUCKLES) Uh, well, because honestly, I was afraid that you would run away again.
I have never run away from anything in my life.
Can we just just talk about the memo? LOGAN: Uh, I owe you a response.
Oh, you've not you've not read it? Siobhan, I have an in-tray the size of Argentina.
Okay.
You know Actually, you know what? Also, I I need to ask.
Is it still me? What? Oh, come on! Dad.
Has anything changed? Because, you know, it feels like it has.
And, you know, when you said it - it felt really real.
- LOGAN: Uh-huh.
SHIV: And I know I know you haven't always liked my words.
You haven't always been happy with my words, but come on.
We can discuss.
LOGAN: Uh-huh.
You know that I want this, and that I can do it.
Mm.
Then why are you fucking me about? As in Putting your name in for the Pierce job? Mm? - I - Talking to those backstabbers.
- Huh? What's that all about? - Uh If you're gonna be coming in here talking a whole load of crap to your father? - Who t who told you? - LOGAN: Who told me? It's all over town.
Nan Pierce is shouting it like a war trophy in the city.
Okay, well, you know what? I had to keep my options open, Dad.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
I see.
I see.
'Cause we 'Cause we have a little fallout or something? We're a family.
We can have our bumps.
I don't expect that.
- Well, it's not that I was - Family, Siobhan! If you don't understand that then fuck off.
(DOOR CLOSES) Eggy pegs? She doin' eggy pegs? KENDALL: She's, um She's sorry if she misses our departure.
- She's got quite a lot to do.
- Mm-hmm.
Sure.
Can happen.
Yeah.
Yeah, it can.
Right.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) LOGAN: There you go.
Hey, Dad.
Um, Dad.
- Just need to confirm something.
- LOGAN: Oh.
Decent deal.
Right? 20 and Christmas.
Good kid.
Good kid.
Yep, I screwed Mom for you.
That's, you know, the fucking dream, right? You should probably go and poke your eyes out now.
Right.
Yeah.
- How'd it go with Shiv? - LOGAN: We had it out.
Yeah.
With the ammunition, I think I got the noose from around my neck.
- RHEA: Good.
Good.
- Thank you.
I'm pleased to help.
You know, I've been thinking maybe maybe look farther afield for the next me.
Maybe a shortlist of two or three? I'd be pleased to help you look.
(PHONE VIBRATES) - KENDALL: Yeah.
- SHIV: Hey, Ken.
Listen, is she on the plane? KENDALL: Uh-huh.
Okay, just I think we've got a problem.
Just be careful, okay? I think I got fucked.
(MUSIC PLAYS) SHIV ROY: I hear you're putting some names together for Dad's CEO search.
Leaning towards someone, say like me, who wants to kill you, or yourself for a second chance at a multi-million dollar pay day.
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYS) Mr.
Roy.
A pleasure to welcome you home.
CONNOR ROY: How great it is to celebrate our dad's life.
Shout out to Rhea for planning a wonderful funeral.
(CHUCKING) I mean, memorial.
SHIV: We need to call a family truce.
Rhea is dangerous.
We should have a plan in case Dad does something rash.
KENDALL ROY: Keep it in the family.
SHIV: We need to stop her.
I think we share some similar interests.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) Okay, London.
KENDALL ROY: London.
All of us? What are we, a fucking octopus giving, like, reach-arounds to to every fish on the reef now, or? All right, relax, Branzino Pornoman.
LOGAN ROY: It's fine.
It's fine.
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYS) It was a very fun episode for me 'cause I was working with Becky Martin, who's the director, and we were over in England a little bit and in Scotland quite a lot.
So yeah, it was an enjoyable episode to make, although there's some very, very unfunny scenes in it.
LOGAN: Will you come with me? As in? Down to the boy's family.
I think we knew from early on, we were gonna do an episode where we wanted to come back at the tragic events of the end of the previous season, but not in a terribly direct way.
- Come in.
- (PASSENGER DOOR OPENS) When we were shooting it, Jeremy inhabits Kendall so fully that it felt very heavy and distressing to see him be there and look at the minutiae of a destroyed family's lives.
Do you think that I should maybe - say something to them? - No.
I guess that's the terrible tragedy for Kendall is that it's not a way for him to do what he would really like to do, which is accept some of the guilt he feels.
- GREG HIRSCH: Hey, Tom.
- Hey, Greg.
How ya doing? One thing that's nice for us through the season is you see what Greg does when he starts earning a bit more money and he feels more comfortable in his skin.
You played your hand very well.
I like it.
But we need to end this now.
Or I tell Logan that you took copies of sensitive documents.
Their relationship is in that weird area where it's somewhat transactional.
They test each other out to the limits of where they can rely on each other.
- How did it come to this, huh? - Uh-huh.
GREG: Put on the disappearing sauce.
Sauce it.
Sauce it.
Greg's got a decision to make about where he jumps in the end.
Hey, Rhea.
Dad, Rhea's here.
Not a big deal.
In terms of Logan and Rhea's relationship, we liked seeing a different kind of connection.
Yikes.
Fucking coochie fucking coo.
It's not a side to him that we've shown in the show before.
He can turn on his charm, and also, that he himself can be charmed.
- I'd value your thoughts.
- On the kids? Who's got it? Huh? (CHUCKLES) I could do with a clear eye.
JESSE ARMSTRONG: Why does Logan take to her? Part of it is that feeling of like (CLICKS TONGUE) "Great, this person can sort everything out.
" I think I might be able to help you make this go away.
ARMSTRONG: Their relationship is complicated, but for the kids, it's quite a definitive, danger sign flashing.
There's a lot of different ways that can fall out.
- SHIV ROY: Is she on the plane? - KENDALL: Uh-huh.
I think we got a problem.
Just be careful.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)