Succession (2018) s03e01 Episode Script


Are you okay?
-Is he okay?
Uh, he's in the bathroom.
Hey! Hey, sir!
Jet's en route back.
And, uh, where we headed, sir?
Where are the planes? Can we go?
Should be no more than an hour.
I got us a nice room to wait in.
At least, not that nice,
but it was the nicest
I could source.
Where are we going,
do you know?
E--Either New York or Geneva
or London or Singapore or L.A.
Okay. Thank you.
-What's he saying?
-Not much.
Look, I mean, do we know
what's he thinking?
Yeah, well, he's talking
about his Mom a lot.
-Oh! Okay.
-His mom?
What--what's the play?
KARL: I don't know.
Lot of interesting ideas
flying around.
I got fired. He got fired.
She got promoted.
I got re-hired.
She got demoted, right? It's--
LOGAN ROY: Come on!
Um Dad?
Want me to ride with you?
You wanna suck my dick?
ROMAN ROY: Is what he said
to his son as the sexual assault
allegations poured in.
Hey, dude.
Let me call you back.
GREG: Hey, Ken.
If, if you're okay,
will you just say, "Okay,"
so that I know you're okay?
Because otherwise I--I'll have
to break the door down
and I don't really want--
I don't know if I'll be able to.
Wha--But, um
Okay. Action stations.
Let's fucking go,
let's get into this.
-And where are we going, Ken?
Waystar, plant a flag,
fix on my lawyer, PRs,
get some
independent directors shaking,
and maybe ride in
to see the fucking Feds.
GREG: No comment! No comment!
-No comment! No comment!
-You don't have to say that.
You don't have to say that,
Greg, just don't comment.
-KAROLINA: Excuse me.
-GREG: No comment! No comment!
GREG: Stop! Stop! Stop it!
-Okay, Jess, let's go.
-This is a company vehicle.
I mean, I don't have a dog
in this fight.
But since you just clearly
opened the company up
to investigation, lawsuits,
I imagine you're no longer
working for the company?
Well, no, because I was acting
in the best interests
of the company.
Yeah? Violating your duty
of confidentiality?
Violating your fiduciary
duties as a director?
Look. I need a sealed unit here,
Karolina. I need a clean jar.
So-- so are you in
for this fucking revolution?
No, I know it's exciting.
And, and I--I--I s--
-Are you with me, yes or no?
KAROLINA: Why did you do it
like that, Ken?
-I mean, did you know?
-Me? No. No.
No, I had no prior warning and I
was surprised at his comments,
but now I am obviously concerned
and interested to hear more.
-KENDALL: This is a fork
in your life, Karolina.
This is the righteous vehicle.
-It's just not It's not--
-Okay. Stop the car.
-Out. Out. Please.
I need to make calls.
I can't have weevils
in the fucking flour sack, okay?
-Out. Now.
Everything you've heard today
is privileged.
Repeat anything and I'll sue you
out of your fucking ass.
-Are you coming, Greg?
-I um
I, uh, I
I--I--I think I'm just gonna
catch a ride with these guys.
-Okay? Thank you.
REPORTER 1: Why'd you get kicked
out of the car? What happened?
REPORTER 2: Why did you leave
Kendall's car?
Was he driving to the airport?
Do you have anything to say?
was personally and fully aware
of the crimes committed
aboard Brightstar Cruises.
Kendall Roy says
his father oversaw
millions of dollars of payments
to hide and cover-up criminal
activity at the cruise line.
Roy went on to deliver a
blistering denunciation
-of his father and the values
and practices at Waystar Royco.
-ROMAN: Nice.
NEWS ANCHOR: The media empire
and parent company
of the conservative
news channel, ATN,
and the correspondent that
So, what are you
actually thinking?
-What am I thinking?
-Yeah, what are you thinking?
What you mean? In terms of what?
Um, in terms of
the fucking--the situation?
Hmm I'm thinking that we just
need to back Dad right now,
and I can't believe anyone
would think anything else.
Yeah. Yeah, of course. Yeah.
what am I actually thinking?
Well, I'm thinking,
"Is he toast?"
Oh, fuck, you are? Really?
Yeah, well, what,
what are you thinking?
I don't know.
Yeah, I am thinking that
maybe I shouldn't be thinking,
"Is he toast?"
-Is he okay?
I really think we should react.
By George, I think he's on
to something!
Hey, Hugo's got planes.
Hi. Listen,
I'm drowning in calls.
And I want to deny,
you know, speculation.
So, uh,
I'm just checking that obviously
we're all good if I say,
for a starter,
that he never hurt anyone,
and he never
touched anyone, personally?
You can reassure on that, Hugo.
-LOGAN: Did you know?
Connor? Roman? Shiv?
Did you know?
Wh--What's that?
Did you know he was going
to do that?
-I was wondering.
-Well, obviously not, Dad.
Kendall's mentally ill.
He's insane.
Where's my phone?
Don't know, Pop. We'll call you.
Uh, yeah, you got it on silent?
Okay, I think I want Lisa Arthur
as my personal lawyer,
but can you call Remi to hit me
up with other names?
Greg, Greg, if I get taken out
on other shit,
I might need you to take
my cultural temperature.
-Uh-huh. Got it.
As in? Uh, wh--
what does that, uh, mean?
Like before I get
my media monitoring in place
I might need you to slide
the sociopolitical thermometer
up the nation's ass
and take a reading.
-Okay? I'll get seasick.
Just feed me the metadata,
anything that's gonna
-move the market
on me reputationally, yeah?
Uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah. Sure.
Uh, media monitoring department
over here.
Wow, everyone is telling me
Lisa Arthur.
She's my girl.
Did you--did you get her avails
for me, Jess?
Um, we have a call
out to her
-Okay. Um
Jess Jordan on Kendall's phone.
-Is it him?
-Kendall's, uh, just attending--
-Just listen.
to some other matters
but I can pass on your thoughts.
What--what's he saying?
Do you wanna know?
Okay. I'll tell him.
Uh, he says that this could get
very ugly for him.
You played a decent move.
If you were to retract
and say that you were unwell
and that you misspoke,
then maybe there's a deal here.
You know what?
Tell him, legally,
it's not wise for me
to talk to him,
but that I'm going to be
in contact with the government
and that this would be
a good moment for him
to step down.
-Okay, he heard.
that I'm gonna
grind his fucking bones
to make my bread.
Uh, he says, in that case,
he's going to grind up
your bones to make his bread.
(SIGHS) Okay?
Well, tell him,
that I'm gonna run up off
the fucking beanstalk.
Okay. Logan?
Yeah, he says in that case
he's going to run up
off the, uh, beanstalk?
He's kind of laughing.
But not, like, nice laughing.
Just tell him he should
step back and cooperate.
I don't want to see him
behind bars.
We may no longer be
on the same side,
but I don't want that.
That's bullshit.
That's fucking
sanctimonious bullshit.
It was a fucking play.
It was a play,
it was a fucking move.
So, don't act like a cunt to me
because it won't
fucking wash!
Okay, bye.
What--what--what did he say?
-Any actual legal or,
or physical threats?
-You know what?
Don't need that in my head.
Just put it in an e-mail
and send it to yourself,
in case it comes up.
LOGAN: Okay. Action stations.
I gave him a chance. Gerri.
Everyone, let's go.
GERRI: Okay. Great.
So, I suggest I call DOJ
and just right away
let them know
how horrified we were to learn
of these, um, allegations
and that we intend to form
a special committee
and we can tell them
which white shoe law firms--
I have ideas, we are considering
to thoroughly investigate
and promptly report back
their findings.
Right. But do we cooperate?
With the government? Yeah,
I think we have to cooperate.
I mean, we were under
pressure already--
Unless we don't?
Yeah, but real world?
I mean,
this is a public company.
We don't know what they have
or what they might get.
There's only one real play here.
And what if I don't want to pull
down my panties down so fast?
ROMAN: Then you pull up
the draw-bridge.
It's politically motivated.
"Come get us, motherfuckers."
What's our story?
The story is--is that he's
exploiting these poor women.
And that's very sad.
You were grooming him
for the top.
But you know?
He's a junkie and he blew it.
He's a bitter fuck up
that needs psychiatric help.
And of course
you're the big baddie,
so everybody jumped on board.
And what about these papers?
Uh, they're fake. Or stolen,
if they even exist. Are you
worried about the papers?
Hmm? We'll go after him
for corporate theft.
This is, you know, not nice
thing to say about your son
but maybe you chop him
into a million pieces
and toss him in the Hudson?
You destroy Kendall,
it falls apart.
LOGAN: What do we think?
How's the price?
Well, uh, net-net, it's steady.
But institutions are dumping
in case this kills us
and arbs are buying in case
Sandy and Stewy win.
Kendall has changed the game.
Noncooperation now, it's not--
it's too
It's too hot out there.
I think it's very high risk.
Yeah, well, everything's
high risk if you're a pussy.
-Hey, I eat red meat. Okay?
-ROMAN: Well
I'm just--the repercussions.
ROMAN: Yeah, but I think
you're looking too small.
We do a dance
and we bide our time
'til the election.
ATN anointy-nointy the Raisin
for a second term?
New Attorney General.
And by then,
this has gotten a little stale,
Kendall will self-destruct
because it's his favorite.
And this all fades
the fuck away.
If I stop picking at scabs,
saying, "Sorry,"
who knows where we'll end up.
Class actions from the chancers
and opportunists.
Admissions of wrongdoing
-Billions out of the door.
If you were to call the AG
right now and shout at him,
-could we find out
if that'd be okay?
-Hugo, can you find out
what would happen
if Logan called the AG?
Get the Raisin.
Let's go to the top.
Let's get the President.
But gentle. Okay?
Anything else?
Do we want to order some food?
Food? Swallow.
We're on saliva
and adrenaline here,
until we get on a plane.
All right?
No local foods.
I get the shits, we're fucked.
-Hugo! Let's go.
LOGAN: We've lingered
long e-fucking-nough!
HUGO: Okay, guys, uh,
this way please.
The plane's on the tarmac.
-Let's get going.
I will definitely call you back.
GREG: Okay.
Uh, you're the number one
trending topic,
ahead of Tater Tots.
And the Pope followed you.
-Okay wow!
Okay, no, this is not the--
is this the real?
-No, I don't think
this is the Pope.
-Right, great. Thanks Greg.
GREG: No, it's, it's a pope.
It's not the Pope.
Listen, you don't need to speak.
I just want to say,
sorry I didn't talk to you
before, but I just want
to let you know
there's a place for you
in the company I'm gonna run.
You just need to tell him
time's up, okay?
He steps back
and we can cool this down.
Someone like you steps in,
a lot of respect.
You know, a lot of folks
would put in a shift for you.
We steady the ship together.
Okay? I did this for you, man.
Did this for us.
For the soul of the company.
This is exciting, Frank. Okay.
-Uh, Gerri. Get me Gerri.
-Okay. Um
Oh, straight to voicemail.
HUGO: The vans are here.
So, the President
is basically supportive,
but they think
it might be best for there
not to be a call with you
on the White House log today.
Like he can't make
a fucking private call?
We got offered Michelle-Anne.
Oh, the pantsuit barnacle?
I got her if you wanna.
No. Fuck it. No.
I don't talk to the babysitter.
You fuckin' sound her out.
That'd be great.
Yeah, Yeah I'll hold.
-Where's Karl?
-Yeah. He really feels
he needs a sandwich.
-A sandwich?
-Yeah. I tried to tell him.
Guys, we have another van
for you over here.
Okay? Right this way.
GERRI: Michelle? Gerri Kellman.
How you doing?
Listen, I just wanted to say
it was all nonsense
and we know the President
will be supportive,
but we just wanted to answer--
to, to offer to answer
any questions he may have.
Gerri, I think he just feels for
Logan at this difficult time.
Great, well, just let him know
that we are not asking
for favors.
MICHELLE-ANNE: We hear you.
We just wouldn't,
simply in terms of resources,
want DOJ to follow Kendall off
down this rabbit hole
of bitterness.
Well, you know how much
the President respects Logan.
Great. So, off the record, um
what's the temperature
at Main Justice?
Any danger of them
or Southern District
going Batman on this?
Um, the Attorney General
is very smart.
GERRI: Oh, we all love Bhavick.
he'll see through this, right?
the DAG likes to think
she's something
of a straight-shooter.
Marilyn's prickly.
So that's your only issue,
Well, maybe you should
just fire her!
-Justice can't do nothing.
-Well, they could
It's out of our hands.
Not if you grab it.
Um, but look, we don't want
to fall out with him.
Well no, he's the president.
GERRI: No, sure, but,
do we want to get the old guys
on the blower
so they can just chat for five?
This will all be great, Gerri.
Just find me whenever,
on anything, okay?
Great, well, I appreciate
getting a read. Um, many thanks.
Yeah. Good?
Good work. Basically supportive.
ROMAN: Good work, Gerri.
HUGO: Okay, we're, uh,
fueled and tooled.
We all set for New York City and
a fuck fest?
-Gerri, stay.
-SHIV ROY: Excuse me. Sorry.
Shivy, Shivy, Shivy.
How are you doing over there?
You ready to come over?
I got a spot for you.
Hello, hello?
Okay, Jess, what do we got?
Um, we have
independent directors.
-Opinion shapers, A list.
And then we've got Ewan, Laird.
-Your mom, um
Greg's mom, Josh Arenson,
and Marcia?
-KENDALL: Great.
-Oh, Greg. How's, uh
Um, I mean
(SIGHS) Headline is, uh,
the internet is big,
uh, obviously, uh
and I haven't--I can't--
I--I couldn't read it all,
but I'm working through,
I guess, um
Yeah. That's the big picture
over here at Media Monitoring.
-Is it positive, Greg?
-GREG: It's super positive.
-Super positive?
-GREG: Yeah.
The negative stuff does tend
to stick in the mind a little
just 'cause it's quite,
uh, visceral.
But yeah. Basically, very good.
Nice memes, good memeage,
and and, uh, so on.
-Nae? Hey.
I got a million calls,
but I wanted to say hi.
-You see it?
-NAOMI: Mm-hmm.
Yeah, seems like maybe you're
the best man in the world?
-Yeah, fuck you.
Yeah, but I mean,
maybe you are.
Okay, ha, ha, ha, sure.
-But what if I am?
-NAOMI: No, sure.
But, um, seriously, Ken,
just for a second here.
-What if you really are?
-Um, Ken?
-We're almost there, so
Uh, Nae, hey, I'm arriving
at Waystar. Can you come see me?
Oh, um, Remi's saying that
maybe they're trying
to cancel your access?
-Later, Nae. Hey, I love you.
-NAOMI: Yeah.
Okay, well--well--
well, they can't.
Sure, but, uh, they maybe did?
KENDALL: All right.
Fuck it, keep driving.
There's press at my place, yeah?
So, where are we going?
GREG: Oh, God. This is crazy.
This is like--this is like O.J.
I--I mean, except if O.J.
never killed anyone.
Who said I never killed anyone?
-What character is that?
-Juice is loose, baby!
-SHIV: Uh, Gerri. Are you okay?
-Yeah, great. All good.
Just gonna go talk to Hugo.
Because now, we're gonna go,
it looks like
in the first instance,
to Sarajevo.
What the fuck. Sarajevo?
I think Michelle-Anne
freaked him out.
Other places to consider.
Bahrain, Bosnia, Kuwait,
Lebanon, Maldives,
Morocco, Qatar,
Saudi Arabia, the Vatican?
Okay. Fuck.
What do all these countries
have in common?
They're all made up?
They're lands with dragons!
No, I imagine that none of them
have an extradition treaty
with the U.S.
-Okay. Fuck.
-You know, what I thought
we could do,
um, is discreetly dangle
some juicy contributor contracts
to the more
responsible prosecutors?
We're going to Sarajevo.
What? To Sarajevo?
Excuse me, the fuck--
-It's fine. Shut up.
-Hey. Look.
I'm not sure
how much cover I've got.
I need to talk to a lawyer
on my position.
Who's a tough bastard?
What? Like a kind of
Layo Upton type motherfucker?
A woman would be great.
Like a Lisa Arthur?
-She did the hookers, right?
-She repped
the trafficked sex workers, yes.
It'd be great
to have her credibility.
FRANK VERNON: Yeah. There are
three or four good women,
but Lisa has an excellent brain.
She is a winner.
GERRI: You go with Layo,
people will be like,
"Oh, he's going scorched earth.
Maybe he can fight this."
We get Lisa,
people will be like,
"Gee, maybe this is bullshit."
-Can I get her?
-TOM WAMBSGAN: Well, uh, Shiv
-Uh, yeah! I
-TOM: Right?
I mean, you know? I'm
She's--Yeah, she's a pretty--
She's a friend.
-Could you get her for me?
-SHIV: I don't know. I mean,
she fucking loves winning
and she loves money. So, uh
-Listen. Listen.
-I don't know.
Cooperate or not,
to keep the board sweet,
I may need to step back
a little.
Okay. Oh, well then,
who would--
I don't want to go back
right now. Does that play?
Yeah, I mean, I just--
I, I want you safe.
-That's the most
important thing.
Okay. Okay, okay, uh,
Shiv, Roman, Gerri
are gonna go back
to manage New York.
No need for me
to go running back
like a slapped girl, looks weak.
-Great! Another plane.
-Want me to go?
No, no, no. I don't trust you.
You're gonna stay with me.
Karl can monitor board liaison.
Tom here, across ATN.
I'll make the call
on the lawyer.
I like--I like Layo, but, uh,
I need to think about it.
Council of war on the plane!
Go on, fuck off back there,
Tumbledown Dick.
Logan, uh, this plane has now
been rerouted to Sarajevo.
It's ready to go. And, uh,
I will get another plane.
Do you need
-Oh, Con?
-This guy? Yeah.
-Con, yes, yes, yes.
Very important.
Can you hold the fort here?
Can you keep this all secure?
You mean hold down the Balkans
with just two divisions?
I can try.
HUGO: See you guys.
Have a good trip.
-WILLA: Mm-hmm.
Oh, listen, my guy made contact
and they wanna know
if we wanna do
a marketing push with the play.
-You know?
The whole hate watch angle,
uh, you know, like, pick out
all the worst reviews
like, you know, "Kill yourself
if you got a ticket,"
or the one about brain poison.
Yeah, okay, I know
all of them, Con. Thank you.
-That's so sweet.
-Right. So, jump on
the irono-cycle
and, uh, make it into a thing
for the hipsters
and the dipshits.
-We could make
a nice little return.
Mm-hmm. Sure. Yeah, I mean.
Yeah. That sounds exciting.
Hey, so,
we'll talk about things
-when we get back, right?
-Oh, yeah, yeah.
-TOM: Yeah? Okay. Cool.
-Of course. Yeah, okay.
So, yeah.
-You know, 'cause I love you.
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Thanks.
Thank you.
And, uh Yeah, don't
You'll see him again.
Well, yeah, obviously
I'll see him again, Tom.
-Why would you say that?
-I'm being nice, Shiv.
If you're worried
that he won't come home,
I think that's unlikely.
Okay, so
Well, I know that.
Okay. Great. It's fine.
-SHIV: Okay.
-TOM: Okay.
Oh, did Ken call you?
Ken? Me? No.
No, no, no.
Not to speak. No.
Why, did he call you?
-TOM: No.
No. No, I was just wondering.
-Okay. Well, look after him.
-Keep in touch.
So, just--This is a safe place
to be, yeah.
So just buzz me in.
Don't tweet
from RealKendallRoy.
-I'm not--I'm not
tweeting from your account.
-I'm serious.
I'm not.
I'm tweeting from my account.
-Just chill here for a second.
Hello, hello!
-Are you okay?
How are you doing?
-I'm good.
-RAVA ROY: You're good?
-Yeah. Yeah.
Is it okay if I bring
in the guys?
Sure. Are they vetted?
-Yeah. They're legit,
right, Jess?
-GREG: Yeah.
-All the Emirati use the firm.
-JESS: Yeah, vetted. Totally.
Oh, well, amazing.
So, is this okay to,
to do a few calls?
I wouldn't ask if I had options.
Yes, yes.
-KENDALL: Thank you.
-Of course.
-Thanks, Rava.
-RAVA: Yeah.
-RAVA: Hey, Greg.
-I'll close it up.
Yeah, good. Wow.
So, hey, wow!
-You really did it, huh?
-I fucking did it.
Yeah, well,
it's been in the mail.
It has been in the mail.
You know, like you always said,
it was either this
or, you know, go to Mount Athos
and become a monk.
-Oh, yeah. This monastery
on Mount Athos.
-Mount Athos.
That, that, that could have been
a more logical choice.
Surprise, surprise.
You came here for what? A, uh
-pat on the back?
-No, just, uh, the press.
They're, they're swarming mine.
And I, I need a hiding hole
for meetings.
Plus, I actually wanted
to see you and the kids.
You know, I, kind of, like
It was kind of for you guys.
Yeah, well
Hey, hey, I, um
I didn't see it but I've just
I've been up against it
at work but
-people were saying
you did great.
-KENDALL: Oh. Yeah.
Yeah, it was
it was fine, whatever.
You might want to watch it.
-No, I
-You might want to.
You know, I'm, I'm,
I'm talking to Lisa Arthur.
Oh, great.
Well, yeah, she's famous.
She's the best.
So, what you think?
Can I do this?
Can I win?
-I don't know, Ken.
-No. Right.
Right. (SIGHS)
How you feeling?
I'm looking forward
to seeing more of the Balkans.
KARL: Mm-hmm.
Is this the worst?
Well, there were
the tabloid suicides.
When we nearly went kablooey
because of Argentina.
-KARL: I know.
-The Tiananmen Accommodations?
The Black Cloud after Sally Ann?
-KARL: I remember.
-I don't know.
He's the comeback kid.
KARL: No, I know,
I know, I know.
But, Senate, FBI.
SEC, Class Actions.
Plus Sandy and Stewy?
I mean, this is a 12-foot sub
of poisonous tree frogs.
This is the full Baskin-Robbins
31 flavors of fucker
right there.
Excuse me, do you mind?
Thank you.
So, this is where I'm landing.
For Waystar, three white shoe
firms on retainers.
Then the next best five,
let's play footsie.
See if we can tie them up
with conflicts.
You two, touch base with Senate
and House surrogates,
payroll commentators,
and friends.
I want everyone lawyered up.
Tom, me to see editorial on
anything on this across ATN
and global cable
and print outlets.
We pressure-point other
operations, the line is,
"Don't lean on this,
it's as bendy as fuck.
Play it smart today,
you won't look a cunt tomorrow."
Karl, I need to talk to the top
12 shareholders
in the next 30 minutes.
An emergency board meeting ASAP
and they'll be rolling through
'til next week, okay?
Hugo, I imagine most of that
is obvious and in train, right?
Largely in hand.
Largely in hand.
Great. And in terms
of cooperation
It's war!
Fuck off!
It's war. Fuck off.
-But we throw them this.
I'll step back as CEO.
-You sure?
Well, obviously,
on operational matters
I will expect to have,
um, informal input.
So, as I step back,
uh, temporarily,
who do we like as CEO?
I don't give a fuck.
Its name plates.
Come on. Brain dump.
Let a hundred flowers bloom!
No come-backs.
Well, I have to say,
uh, I look good.
-What? What? Why not? I like me.
-Just the fresh face
we're looking for.
-KARL: Oh, fuck off, Frank.
Karl, if your hands are clean
it's only because your
whorehouse also does manicures.
I mean, I imagine you're
looking at a kid. Or Gerri?
But if you want--if you want
someone short term
-FRANK: who knows
the place inside out, I--
You're not trusted.
-You're mashed potatoes.
-Okay, mm-hmm. I get it. Yep.
Now, I'd like a kid, obviously.
So, Shiv or Roman.
But we'd love a woman.
So, Shiv or Gerri.
But I'd like experience.
So, Roman
or Gerri.
-Just gonna run to the bathroom.
-LOGAN: Uh-huh.
FRANK: A woman is--
a woman is good.
-Hey, listen. They're playing
fucking dice
with God next door, okay?
He is picking a new CEO
in real time.
Oh, okay.
Let me just check that.
One second.
-What? Interim?
-TOM: (ON PHONE) Sure, sure.
But you know,
who knows how long it will last?
VW took, like, 5 years, right?
-Wal-Mart took a decade.
-And what's the temperature?
Oh, it's, you know,
it's free form.
"Let a hundred flowers bloom."
Oh, yeah, right! Sure!
So listen, do you want it?
Me? What?
No. You crazy, Shiv?
I don't think that's even--
I don't think with the hearings
and cruises--
I don't think it's--I don't,
I don't--I think, no, I mean.
-So, you're okay to push me?
Well, sure.
That's what I wanted to know.
Because he's gonna fight,
he says.
You wanna be the face of that?
Yeah, I mean, you can get
too fucking clever with this,
-can't you?
HUGO: Have a problem in there,
buddy? Can't find a vein?
Hold on. Watch it, fuckhead!
Okay, I gotta go. But, um,
if it's going, you want it?
I don't wanna be buried
like Miss Haversham
with a fucking bonnet
full of clever stratagems.
So, yeah! Yes. Yes, I want it.
You get in there
and you hustle, baby. Hustle!
-Interesting call?
Ah, no. Just--just bullshit.
Oh. Just bullshit?
That's boring.
I hate boring shit, don't you?
-ROMAN: Just, you know,
boring phone calls
about bullshit. It's just
so boring, right, Shiv?
It's boring?
Because Gerri just heard
from Frank
and Dad is apparently
live picking the new CEO.
Oh. "Oh, okay." So, Tom didn't
just mention that to you?
Oh, yeah,
now that you mention it,
-he, maybe he did, yeah. Mm-hmm.
-"Yeah, okay, maybe."
Fuck you. Fuck you.
So, how come Frank called you
and how come you told him?
I'm just a very straightforward
person, Shiv.
Oh, yeah? So, what'd you hear?
Well, I heard there's a number
of names in contention.
All right!
Care to make it interesting?
Throw a little money
on the table?
Well, I'm already
pretty fucking interested.
So, I think I'm good.
Yeah, a full tally would be--
would be great, thank you.
Yep. I can hold.
Hi, uh
Kinda just wanna let you know,
I was doing his media monitoring
for a while, but I guess
-you'll be taking that over?
Yeah, that would be us.
Yeah, I wrote down
a lot of tweets,
like relevant tweets that felt
kind of important so I could--
-Is that useful to pass on? Or--
-We can find them.
-They're on Twitter?
-Yeah. They are all on--
They're all on Twitter.
-But thank you.
GREG: No worries. Here to help.
I'm on hold over here.
Cancelling my mom's credit card.
Okay. Nice.
Yeah, no.
It's pretty stupid actually.
Uh, my grandpa cut her off.
Uh, long story.
I guaranteed her gold card,
just 'cause I thought that'd be,
like, a good son thing to do?
And then just she saw
the press conference,
and she's kind of, like,
under the impression that
Ken's taking the company down.
And so she's over here
panic buying NutriBullets
and buying a lot of Krugerrands.
Like a very particular currency.
And she never even drinks
the smoothies--
-So, it's like
Berry fucking Schneider
in the house!
Thanks for coming.
How you doing?
-Great. Good to see you.
-Yeah? Come on in. Come on in.
Let's sit, let's sit.
-Thanks for having us. Comfry.
-KENDALL: Hey, I'm Kendall.
-Is he harassing you?
-No, he's fine.
Greg, stay here.
Welcome to my ex-wife's
living room. Sit, sit.
Can we just say, right off,
some jobs are money jobs,
some are heart jobs.
We would love to work with you.
We love the narrative arc.
We love everything you did.
And I would love
to work with you,
but, uh, if it's cool,
and I know you guys are the best
but is it okay
if this is still a pitch?
-Of course!
-KENDALL: Great.
-So, we have a lot of thoughts.
Communication planning
and positioning thoughts.
How we can leverage
our relationships
-with significant writers
at major outlets.
-Yes. Yes.
Prepare to prime and amplify
-some impressive secondaries.
-Great, great. So, shall,
shall I talk, or will you?
Well, we want to hear
your thoughts,
of course,
but you wanna start off
-just hearing our five points?
-Sure. Sure, you go.
-BERRY: Okay. So--
-But I think
the headline needs to be
"Fuck the weather, we're
changing the cultural climate."
-But you go.
-Okay, I mean
For context, I, I, I'm talking
to the Times about an op-ed.
Draft an alternative corporate
Drop a rapid reaction TEDx.
Shit like that.
Well, that's great.
It's cheesy as fuck
but, you know,
I need people to see this was
part of a coherent philosophy,
not just punching an old guy
in the fucking nose?
-Right. Right. That's in line
with our thoughts. So--
Well, I just, I may as well say,
on a dumb level,
I'd like my Twitter
to be off the hook.
This could all get
super earnest, so I was thinking
of hitting up some BoJack guys.
You know? Some, some,
some of the Lampoon kids
to just smash that shit,
make my feed a little powder keg
people need to check-in with?
Like cool tweets
that position you?
Yeah, that would be the
straight-leg chino way
of putting it. "Cool tweets."
-Fuck you!
-KENDALL: Fuck you! (LAUGHS)
No, it's--I'm kidding.
I know you guys are the best.
Okay, sorry.
I want to work with you
if you can
if you can work with me?
Well, we think you're going
to win this and we like winners!
Hell yeah.
HUGO: Hello.
Hi, uh, Waystar Royco?
-Gerri is clean, right?
-Well, I mean. Up to a point?
Oh, she was nowhere near cruises
was she, when you know?
She was in the UK on all
that regulatory shit, I think,
during the time in question.
I have to say, I like Gerri.
Oh! You like Gerri?
Uh-huh. I do.
Are you playing
the reverse banjo, son?
-Trying to black spot her?
-Nope. No. I do.
She's very stolid.
And I like Roman.
Oh, you like Roman?
-What about yourself, Tom?
-Who, me? What?
LOGAN: Oh, you know.
You're kind of family.
Kind of new blood.
Well, that's very kind.
But I don't--no. I don't
I think it's a little rich
for my blood just yet. So
-What about Shiv?
-Well, Shiv's great.
I like Shiv. But no experience.
And Roman, great, but
-You don't think Roman is ready?
-Do you?
Well, is anybody ready?
-Was I ready?
When he's not all fucking
"meh, meh, meh"
Plus, I'll be pulling
the strings. Right?
-I like Roman.
-I like Roman.
Of course I like Roman.
Sure you do! He'll fucking
fire you on day one!
Oh, Romulus.
Hey, Dad. Um can I just speak
to you for a moment?
Well, um, it's already getting
out what you're thinking about
so, um, I just wanted to throw
a couple of things
-in the old, uh, lobster pot.
I think it should be me.
-It's my time.
I can do it, I want it,
and I think I can do it. So
-Um But, I Sorry, what?
-Okay, um--
No, no. You go.
Yeah, okay. Well
(SIGHS) I think it should be me.
If you don't think I'm ready,
okay, which, um
um, I would understand.
But--and I'm not saying
that I agree with that,
but, you know, um
maybe a couple of years under
the wing of an older, uh hen,
could, you know, see me crack
out of the old egg.
And, um, I gotta, I gotta say,
I know that you've been sweet
on Shiv,
and I love her, like a brother.
But, um, I just don't think
that it's time, you know?
And all bitterness aside,
I do wonder
if maybe it isn't Gerri time.
So I would think just, you know,
let the stone-cold bitch do it.
She's tough,
she's got the good chromosomes.
For whatever reason,
it ain't Romey time, then, uh
maybe it's crony time.
I hope I haven't, um,
I don't know, overstepped here.
Nope. Thank you, son.
Okay, well, um, I'd love it,
but, you know, I understand.
But I do want it. Okay?
But, you know?
No hard feelings, so, um
Uh yeah, no, anyway, I'm just
So, uh, uh yeah, love you, Dad.
Roman's out.
He's out. Okay?
-Who is it? Is it him?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Thanks, Dad. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Sure, I can do that.
I can do it.
What? You can do what?
Oh, fuck. Fuck, go on.
-He wants me to go get Lisa.
-You're a fucking bitch.
He told me to tell you
to wait airport adjacent though,
he might need someone
on investors. You might need
to fly to Boston
to meet Arenson.
Or, you know, hijack a plane
and fly him to Cuba.
And he didn't say anything
about CEO?
Oh. Oh, yeah. No, sorry, he did.
It's me.
Oh. Oh! You got me.
Oh, you really fooled me, Shiv.
LISA ARTHUR: We've gone
over that, so now,
what's the solution?
Well, when is that happening?
-KEITH: Eminently.
-LISA: Okay, good.
Can I have the room, please?
-LISA: Hey, Shiv.
Lisa! How are you?
-God, look at you!
-It's been so long. This place--
-Sit, sit.
Wow, it's amazing.
Thank you.
So, um So listen.
I'm just gonna jump right in
because I don't want this
to be difficult with a friend.
Um, and I hope I've not wasted
your time because
Yeah, no,
the message came through.
-You can't act for my dad.
I don't think I fit, so
Yeah. Uh
So, cards on the table, I wanted
to talk to you
-about something else.
-Oh. Okay.
Mm-hmm. I'm, uh
Yeah, I'm thinking about
my own position here.
And to be honest,
I could do with a friend.
A discreet friend
with legal training.
You know, a consigliere.
A smart, savvy woman,
who can help me navigate
the position I find myself in.
Right, that's kind.
But that's not the kind of role
I normally take on.
I know, I know, but, uh,
honestly, Lis, I got
nowhere to fucking turn here.
You know my husband
is a player in this.
And, uh, in one world,
there's, uh, I'm in a position
to come out here as CEO.
Or I might have to leave the
firm to protect my reputation.
You know, I don't know
what my dad did,
and I don't know
what my brother did,
and I don't know
what the firm did.
I'm in a fucking
fuck pie here, Lisa.
Can I clean it up?
I don't know.
I don't know. I have a plan
but I could easily get crushed
between these two fucking men,
and I need to game things out,
and I need to do that
with someone
who can give me a read
legally and culturally
-and politically and socially,
and, you know, it's a lot.
-Okay, look. Okay, look.
-And I trust you and
-Look, look, stop. Stop, Shiv.
I can't give you legal advice
and you should not give me
any confidential information.
Uh, fuck. Uh
I'm sorry. Is that--Does
Does that mean
what I think it means?
-Are we done?
-Yeah, you know what?
I would, I would just say
careful who you hitch
your wagon to, honey,
'cause a lot of wagons
are going in the ditch.
Right. Thanks, "honey."
You know, you'd actually
consider working with that
disingenuous little fuck doll?
He's not on the level, Lis.
I am unavailable to help you.
If for some reason that changes,
I'll let you know.
Wow. Well, thanks, pal.
-Any vibes?
-On what?
"On what?" On the whole,
"Is my dad going to jail?"
who's climbing Mount Olympus
to be the new Dr. Zeus.
Look at us here. Waiting.
So fucking hot.
If it's you,
you think you're clean?
Yeah, obviously.
There's a bed through here
if you wanna give it a go.
The pipeline was still sending
cruise girls out west
when you were
in L.A. though, right?
Yeah, that was mostly over.
There's deniability,
Frank thinks.
We essentially
didn't even actually know.
That's all on the
the little guys and Mo.
What about the satellite launch,
accelerating it?
I'd lay you badly,
but I'd lay you gladly.
Can I remind you, Roman,
that so far as I am concerned
nothing has ever happened
between us
other than
of a professional nature.
Mm-hmm. Gotta be curious though,
Young fighter in his prime.
Technically raw,
but, you know, hungry.
I am quite a successful person,
and I remain so
by avoiding mess.
Mm-hmm. Well, we're stuck
in this room for
I don't even know how long.
And, um
no one would know.
Hey, Logan. Okay.
Okay, uh, well, um
(CLEARS THROAT) Okay. well
Yes, yes.
Sure, I'll let him know.
I'll tell him.
Thank you.
-It's me.
-Are you kidding?
-It's me.
-Are you kidding?
-GERRI: I'm not kidding.
-It's actually you?
-It's me.
Shiv blew it with Lisa.
Shit a pony. So, what,
you're like the boss of me now?
-Congratulations, Gerri.
That's, uh
Yeah, that's great.
You fucking bitch.
It's just an administrative
position, largely, so--
You know, I might have swung
this for you, you know that?
-Well, thank you.
Does Shiv know?
Can I tell her?
I--I think I should tell her.
I think it'd be nicer
coming from me.
-Hey, yeah.
So, we lost Lisa?
I guess you fucked it?
Your friend doesn't like you?
Oh, also Gerri got the job.
He wanted me to tell you.
But I got a song for you.
It goes
Your friend doesn't like you
Boo-hoo, boo-hoo ♪
And Dad wants to fire you
woo-hoo, woo ♪
And you hung up! ♪
You know what?
Change of plan.
-Hey, Rav? Rav?
-RAVA: Yeah.
-Hey, I got more folks incoming.
-Yeah, yeah.
And, and also just, um
as an FYI, is it cool if
Naomi Pierce comes up?
-Sure, is she the Pierce
-She's the
Yeah, you know, we have
a little thing
-Yeah, yeah. Fine. I heard.
-KENDALL: going.
It's not weird?
She, she's kind of good for me.
-No, sure. Yeah.
-KENDALL: Thank you.
-Look at us, huh? Huh?
-I know.
Also, I saw the razors, so
-The razors in your bathroom?
-Whose are those?
Why were you in my bathroom?
Because I don't like to drop
a deuce where the staff go.
Yeah. Oh, God. Ken,
uh, those don't actually mean
-Oh, no? Male razors?
-What no!
Uh, they're less expensive.
Oh, so I'm not giving you
enough money
for gender-appropriate razors
Ken, I'm not having this
conversation right now.
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
-This isn't that conversation.
-RAVA: It's funny. Good.
-Hey, Ken.
Uh, Lisa and Keith are here.
-LISA: Hey, Ken.
-Hey, hey, Team Genius!
-Thank you for coming.
-My pleasure.
Keith, Kendall.
Please sit.
Uh, can I,
can I get you anything?
-No, I'm good. Thank you.
-You're good? You sure?
Rav, it'll just be
four or five hours.
-Uh, yeah, fine.
-Okay, hey. Here she is.
Look what the Aegean dragged in.
Okay, I'm right in the middle--
So, I want to introduce you.
This is Rava. Rava, Naomi.
RAVA: Hey. Hi.
So good to meet you.
And thank you for this.
Oh, yeah, no. Yeah, not at all.
I just gotta--I gotta
-KENDALL: Me too. Hey, Greg,
can you help, uh
-GREG: Yeah?
-Naomi, I gotta Yeah.
-GREG: Oh, yeah. Uh-huh.
He's still in Europe.
He's scared.
And it looks like
my dad's gone to Sarajevo.
Okay. So, I should, um,
make it clear
this is just a preliminary.
So, no confidential information.
Sure. Sure. Well, look,
what can I tell you?
Uh my dad's the devil.
He runs a crime ring,
and I would love to hire you
because you're a super star
and I think you can take down
my dad,
and this will be the case
of the century
-and the highlight
of your career.
-Okay. Okay.
-Well, that might be--
-KENDALL: I'm serious.
They'll make a movie about you.
We should make a movie
about you.
Mm-hmm. And how would that look?
It would look amazing,
because it would be brilliant!
Okay, look, this is quite
a complex situation to progress
because, as I understand it,
you want to take down your dad
-without implicating yourself?
And without damaging
the company to the extent
that you lose control
at your shareholder meeting?
-And you know that Shiv and I
have had a friend relationship?
Yeah, well, that might
work out anyway.
Okay, well, that's for you two,
but first things.
Has the government reached out
to you yet?
Or have you received a subpoena
for the documents yet?
No, no. And look, to be clear,
I will do whatever you tell me
to do.
I am your puppet.
LISA: Okay. Well, in the first
instance, we need to make sure
you're in the clear
with your friends
at one, Saint Andrew's.
-LISA: So, first thing is
to make sure
your head isn't on the block,
okay, puppet?
Lisa, I feel like
you're my lawyer!
RAVA: Oh, for fuck's sake!
Greg! What the fuck?
-Be right back.
-Jess, can you
RAVA: Ken!
-GREG: I'm so sorry.
-KENDALL: Yeah. I'm right here.
RAVA: I'm sorry, did you not
see that there was dust all over
the bottle?
-We okay?
-RAVA: Did you not think to--
-No, it's fine.
-I really had no--
I'm really sorry, Rava.
-RAVA: It is fine.
That was one
my godfather gave me.
Naomi told me to open it, Ken.
-And so I just
-Well, I'm very sorry, Rava.
-I'm so sorry.
-RAVA: Greg, that's not
-Hey, ooh, sorry.
No, no, no.
Guys, drink it, enjoy it.
-GREG: I don't want any
-It's fine! It's good.
It's like when someone breaks
something beautiful
and it reminds you
that nothing lasts.
Enjoy it.
I'll get some napkins.
All these brilliant
fucking women, Greg.
-I mean
-Hey, I must be doing
something right.
-Right? Right?
-You are.
You're doing everything right,
You are on top of the world.
Okay. Uh, I'll be back
in a flash.
All right, baby. Lisa Arthur,
you got my undivided attention.
-LOGAN: Where's Shiv?
-I'm trying.
Looks like the Gerri CEO
news might have leaked.
-And I got Simon
on the board lined up.
-LOGAN: Uh-huh.
-Do you want a room?
-Yes, I want a fucking room!
I'm about to eat dick for three
hours straight,
so, yes, Hugo,
I would like a fucking room.
-HUGO: Okay
I don't need that.
Sure, well, whatever.
-What now?
-Nothing, tell you later.
-Go on, fucking say!
-It's not a big deal.
Lisa Arthur is going
to represent Kendall.
Let's get Layo.
We'll fucking beast 'em.
We'll go full fucking beast!
Previous EpisodeNext Episode