Succession (2018) s03e05 Episode Script

Retired Janitors of Idaho

One more.
Okay, how's that, sir?
-Like a glass fucking slipper.
-Okay, good, hold on, hold on.
-Let me get you.
RICHARD: There. All set.
I think I might need a piss.
You wanna go back up?
You don't want another--
No, no, no, let's--
let's get on with it.
I can do it.
One-two. One-two.
-Soph? What's going on,
Wild Honeypie?
Bianca won't let me feed
Megathump a piece of my bagel.
-Okay, put-- put Bianca on.
I looked it up and rabbits
aren't supposed to eat bagels.
Okay, Bianca.
Let the rabbit have some bagel.
Those rules are for fuckheads
who're gonna go to Tampa
and leave a rabbit
with a Big Gulp
and a dozen cinnamon raisin.
One-- A little is
not gonna hurt. Yeah?
STEVE COX: Our top story
this morning is, of course
Okay, thanks, bye, Soph!
that the fate of
media giant Waystar Royco
hangs in the balance.
Great insight, Steve.
STEVE: The fiftieth anniversary
of the media giant
has proven to be somewhat
Okay, Shadow Chamber!
HQ of the hashtag resistance!
What up? How are we feeling?
-Rise and grind, baby!
-Hell yeah!
STEVE: The proxy battle between
founder chairman Logan Roy
-What's his ETA?
Your dad's en route.
Maesbury Capital banner is
currently "too close to call."
The sides have spent close
to 100 million dollars
fighting a battle to win
the hearts, minds, and votes
of corporate investors
and small shareholders.
-Uh, group on the table.
-Positions are entrenched.
So, it's down to
the shareholders to decide.
-And we'll bring you
the outcome
-All right. Shut up, Steve Cox.
and all the reaction
as soon as it comes in.
Yo, yo!
You sweating me, On Golden Pond?
Have we got a deal or what?
Ken, I would privately
like to transmit
a certain degree of trepidation.
There he is! The Panic Meister
cooking up his sweaty spaghetti.
So, what-- what bullshit
are you selling me today, Frank?
We haven't had a breakthrough,
and Logan is definitely willing
to let this go to a vote.
He's not gonna fuck this, is he?
I'm just thinking,
if we need it,
is there a backchannel here?
It might be nice to let
Moscow know what
Washington's thinking today.
So we don't all
stumble into Armageddon.
KENDALL: Yeah, let's--
let's keep this channel open.
Eagles Aerie out!
Will you sit out front today,
Kerry? I need to know
what the temperature is
amongst the shit-munchers.
Sure. Um, so in that case,
I'm gonna leave you with these.
-Oh, yeah. No, no.
-You'll remember?
-You don't want me to-- Okay.
-Yeah, I got it covered.
Where are they?
Okay, here they come.
So, how are Sandy and Stewy?
How we lookin'?
How'd you fuck it up?
Total breakdown.
They wanted the moon on a stick.
Two 5:00 a.m. nights.
If we lose control, just
wake me up to tell me
my career's over, okay?
Oh, fuck! Was--
Was there a deal there?
KARL MULLER: I don't know.
No concessions.
I mean, four board seats.
That's ridiculous.
What-- It's
full fat for them and
corndogs and toenails for us.
I think, at the end of the day,
to settle,
the clause Sandy really wants
is that Logan Roy henceforth
sits on a corkscrew and spins.
Hard to give that.
Okay, well,
then we're down to a vote.
We're climbing into
the vote boat.
Great. Voting.
Let's just throw it open
to the fucking
retired janitors of Idaho.
GERRI: Maya! Where are we?
Uh, too close to call.
Some shareholders
won't vote till they hear
your father, so
Well, those pussies aren't gonna
bail once they hear God speak.
We're gonna lose the company.
We're gonna lose
the fucking company today.
-No. No.
-MAYA: If Josh Aaronson
is against,
it is hard to see
how you win this
with a clear margin.
Is this what we pay
the proxy solicitor team for?
You know, if I were to give
Greg five million,
he'd go,
"Ooh, it looks bad!" You know?
-Hey! Here I am. I made it.
The cavalry has arrived.
Great, it's so essential
you're here.
-Um, so, the news is,
is tomorrow we're all
gonna try to look for jobs
in the same branch of Target.
-That's funny.
-That's good.
Where's Pop? I wanna spitball.
Uh, yeah, maybe not today, Con.
Not the best day for a chat.
No time.
Oh, bummer.
I guess he'll have to make time,
Madam Secretary.
Unless he wants me to go public
and take a big blacklight to our
semen-stained family scrapbook,
maybe he ought to
fit me in, yeah?
-ROMAN: Okay.
-I'm hungry.
Hey, here he is! The Big Beast.
Ready to kick ass
with his big ass-kicking boot!
So, you heard where we're at?
Karl? Gerri?
I guess, delay the vote.
Squeeze Sandy
and Stewy's airtime.
Run the long versions
of the speeches.
I emailed a list of
assigned shareholders
for last-minute persuasion.
Good. Good.
Okay, yes.
And that's it?
There's nothing else we can do?
What about the Raisin?
Well, the White House
is shitting fuel rods
at the tone change.
PGN is running with
"Memory Gate,"
and they're calling for him
to release tests.
And there's a lot of calls
coming in but we're sandbagging.
Good, good, press for something.
A statement.
Rumor of a statement.
Anything before the vote
that looks like a win
and turns the temperature
of the DOJ down.
Great, uh-huh, late in the day,
very late in the day.
But potentially,
all the more useful.
KENDALL: Yo, yo! Come on in.
-Leave your fucking
lanyard at the door.
-Ha, ha.
Welcome to the real
annual meeting.
-STEWY HOSSEINI: What's up, man?
-What's up?
Shouldn't you be on
a rainbow soapbox somewhere,
screaming, "Time's up"?
Right, yeah, well,
without family control,
I can't change things.
And that's actually
what I'm about. Change.
Well, you should save it for
Vanity Fair, bro. I'm all good.
Whatever. Look.
My only agenda today
right now, is find a deal
that works for both of us.
Cool. Okay. Bullshit.
I'm your most powerful ally
in the company.
I know
your financing's
starting to wobble.
You don't want
to risk everything
on a dice roll of a vote
any more than we do.
Well, we lose, we walk.
We just move
to the next company.
KENDALL: Yeah? With a 50 million
hole in your pocket?
You want something out of this.
Sandy wants to hurt my dad.
-So let's make this happen.
I've got an inside track
with my dad right now.
He's one hundred percent ready
to take this to a vote.
-That would be very stupid, Ken.
-KENDALL: Stewy, I know
you guys have been angling
for a better deal,
and you don't think there's any
risk taking this to the brink,
but I know for a fact
you're not gonna get one.
He's a psychopathic narcissist.
He thinks he can
take this to the floor,
drag back the undecideds
with his
beefy Logan voodoo,
and win outright.
And, you know, I don't know.
Who's to say he can't?
So, you know, dude, just
come back to the table,
make a deal. It's there.
you know
at this point,
it's just managing egos.
Hey, Logan.
It's Stewy Hosseini.
Shall I?
Hey, Stewy, what's up?
Okay, hold on.
They wanna meet.
They have thoughts.
Okay, right, we're on.
"They have thoughts"?
What kind of thoughts?
GERRI: They have ideas for
a deal space for a settlement.
-ROMAN: Fucking A!
-GERRI: Yeah.
-ROMAN: So let's do it.
-SHIV: Okay.
Why have they
suddenly decided to settle?
Well, because they know
that it's the smartest move?
Or they've had bad news.
What do they know
that we don't know?
SHIV: Uh, well, let's
-let's find out, right?
I'm not doing a tap dance.
Shiv, Karl, Gerri, Romulus,
go and report back.
I think that's smart.
But Gerri should be
out front helming,
so should I go?
We nail you to the cross,
Frank, all right?
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, let's
let Sandy do the soft shoe.
He's wriggling.
Let's, uh, screw them out.
-ROMAN: Okay. I will.
-SHIV: Okay. You got it, Dad.
Sis, hey, listen.
I'm gonna throw you a bone
because I don't want to remember
your first shareholder meeting
as the one where you
lost us the company,
so whatever the deal space
you end up in,
Sandy's gonna be
too obdurate to say yes.
But stay cool.
Daughter Sandi's confident
she can get him to settle.
Apparently, she knows
how to play her dad.
-Puppet master out!
Yeah, thanks, I no longer wish
to receive these calls.
Does Sandy really have syphilis?
What if he has sores
all over his body?
What if his groin's
all eaten away
and the top half of him
just falls off?
-I think we started that rumor.
-I don't know.
Late-stage symptom
is dementia, I believe.
Yeah, you've been doing some
panicky late-night
googling there, Karl?
Hey. Thanks for coming.
My father is very excited
to see you all.
STEWY: So, look.
After careful consideration,
if we can make a deal here,
we're willing to agree
to a standstill.
So, no takeover.
And provided we lead
on deal-making options
moving forward,
we'll accede to a continuation
of combined Chairman
and CEO roles.
So that's-- that's all yours.
-I think that sounds reasonable.
-And the three board seats?
-Including yours?
We can do that right now.
I have my dad's
authorization to go there.
KARL: Can we sign off on this?
And he wants our costs covered.
-SANDI: And veto right
over any Roy family member
ever taking over as CEO.
That's what the man says.
It is a very important
protection for us.
I feel like I just have to
put it out there. Say it.
Since there's an 85 billion
dollar baby on the table here.
How do I know that
he's not your
meat puppet?
Oh, I just do what my dad
tells me, like you guys.
-Do you mind if we take a beat?
-STEWY: Sure.
Yeah, you have tons of time.
Seconds. Whole minutes.
I'm just saying,
they've got tons of time.
-What the fuck?
(WHISPERING) Well, I mean,
other than the new proposal,
it's a very,
very attractive prospect.
I'm sorry,
there's nothing to discuss.
It fucks us and is designed
to humiliate Dad!
Right, but it's basically
optics. I mean
I'm not sure
it would even stand up.
You could probably work around,
right, if it ever came to it?
Um, with all due respect, Gerri,
get bent!
Look, okay, sure,
it's humiliating.
And I'm 99 percent certain
your dad would agree.
But given where we're at,
I have to check in with him.
I'm sorry.
Is she gonna fuck us?
No. I don't know.
Why the fuck are you asking me?
I don't know.
Right. That's what they want.
We will meet your costs,
but no veto.
We need the veto.
Is there no alternative
shape here?
We're so close.
Come on, Sandi.
We-- we all want this to work.
ROMAN: Go in again.
SANDI: I agree, I agree.
It's okay.
We're gonna go have a think.
But-- but
we do agree it--
it would be a shame if
if you destroy all this
hard work over a detail.
-Yeah. Right.
-SANDI: Right?
Let's let the lawyers
get to work.
-We have a landing space here.
-There you go.
-Fucking beanbag.
-Here you go, sir.
Oh, that's better.
You want a water?
Kerry says you need
to stay hydrated.
Hey, Pa!
Got a minute?
Uh, tight, son.
CONNOR ROY: Look, Dad.
I hear that things are shaky
at the White House.
But he'll win again.
Is that what you hear?
I wanted to ask you directly
for a really significant role
within the firm
to burnish my reputation
for my future.
You were never interested.
CONNOR: Well, maybe
I was never encouraged.
Uh, I don't do ancient history.
CONNOR: I don't wanna get into
ancient history either.
Can we
find common ground?
I just don't think you have
the track record.
Roman's a knucklehead.
Shiv's a fake.
Kenny is screwy!
-Why can't I get a shot?
-Like what?
Europe. Nothing vital.
-Where's the john?
unfortunately, the nearest one
is out of order,
you'll have to go down the hall,
up the stairs and on your right.
Oh, fucking lucky
I'm wearing my sneakers, huh?
-Sorry about--
-ROMAN: About what?
Trying to fuck me over
to consolidate your position?
It just seemed
to make business sense.
Throwing me overboard to drown?
You picked your prince, Gerri.
-Don't fuck it up now.
-They're gonna marinate
on it, but
Yeah, I think I-- we did it.
So, yeah, fingers crossed.
Okay, see you soon.
Oh, you don't mind me
relaying the news, do you?
No, not at all.
He's my dad. So
Stewy! I'm feeling it.
Feeling those good vibrations.
Let me know
where your head's at, yeah?
Let's get this done
and trip the light fantastic.
Hey, yeah, I was wondering
if you were gonna be over here.
Yeah, I'm over here,
-just doing my job.
-KENDALL: There he is!
Big day, big dog!
Yeah. So, uh, hey, man.
I just
I just wanted to say, you know,
I-- I-- I'm probably-- Uh
I'm sure that you're
probably pretty upset
over me going to Waystar,
and-- and
-their Joint Defenses.
-KENDALL: No, it's fine.
I-- I had no choice, really.
-In terms of--
-Yeah. I get it. I get it.
Wow, uh, that's a huge relief,
I've been summoned to see
my gramps today
and I just feel like
I don't want to be getting it
in both ends because--
But look,
I may have to burn you.
You-- Uh, sorry, what?
Yeah. (SIGHS)
It is what it is.
I wanted to get you up here
and give you fair warning
as a pal.
That okay?
What? Getting burned?
KENDALL: Yeah, getting burned.
Is it okay-- Uh
It doesn't sound great.
Yeah, so
here's the thing.
My dad lands a deal today,
it strengthens his position.
Lisa says the DOJ is
non-committal about the case.
So, I need to
throw them red meat.
The thought is I give them you.
It's not much,
but it's a morsel.
Plus, it likely gives them Tom,
maybe Bill,
you know, it--
it builds the pressure,
and then maybe
someone flips on Dad.
You see?
It's not my preferred choice.
Or mine! I, uh--
I thought, you know,
you said you'd never burn me.
I'd try not to burn you.
Well, no, you said
-On the plane, you said--
-Hey! Hey!
Let's not
"He said, she said" this.
A lot of shit gets said.
I'm still not saying
I will burn you.
All I'm saying is
I might burn you.
It's a margin call.
And just how bad
will the burning be?
I mean, even as I ask that
I can tell it's not gonna be
You'll probably be fine.
They don't want to send
bottom feeders to prison.
They'll probably just
fuck you and chuck you
to get to the red meat.
Uh-huh. Great.
Or you drop
from the Joint Defense.
JESS: Hey, Ken.
Uh, I have to monitor
the meeting,
but I wanted to
give you a heads up.
I like you, Greg.
I really like you.
-Oh, fuck!
-it's up there.
-Turn this shit up. All right.
See ya.
Hey! Hey, hey!
Hey, Gramps!
How're you doing?
A little late, but we got
an interesting day ahead.
EWAN ROY: Don't try to
sweet-talk me, kiddo.
GREG: Okay. Just a few--
few words of greeting,
but, uh
And, hey, Mr. Pugh.
How are you?
I'm not an uncomplicated man,
Greg. I know that.
Nevertheless, I have tried
as much as I'm able
to show you love and compassion.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Are you kidding?
You're the best
darn gramper out.
Um, and I wanted, therefore,
to ask you--
EWAN: You asked me for help.
And I took
that request seriously.
And now I hear that you've
dispensed with Roger's services,
presumably to throw your lot in
with my brother
and his gang of
crapulous shills,
without even so much
as a telephone call?
I was actually wondering
if I shouldn't maybe take
another turn around the block
with old Mr. Pugh here--
EWAN: I have known
Roger Pugh for 55 years.
You don't take him
for a fucking ride anywhere.
He's a friend of mine!
I-- I mean-- I
Okay, I guess, the other route
is to see
if there's any way that
you might see your way clear
to providing a little
financial support to help me
-retain my neutrality amongst
I'm helping your
grandfather transfer
the entirety of his estate
to charitable endeavors.
What? Uh, what?
I'm giving all my money
to Greenpeace, Greg.
What-- Even my part?
That was the first part.
Why? Why?
Why is that the first part?
I mean, how do you
How can you tell?
I mean
-EWAN: Because, Greg
your life is not a bagatelle.
Because you're putting yourself
in the service
of a monstrous endeavor.
Because you need to
take yourself seriously, kid.
Now, we should go in.
Okay, so just whip through it.
Keep any dissent to a minimum.
As soon as the deal's agreed,
we'll let you know
and then you can announce that
the vote has been called off.
Ger's sent her opening remarks,
so we got your back, okay?
-Good. Go get 'em.
I'm Frank Vernon, Vice Chairman.
Welcome to Waystar Royco's 46th
Annual Shareholders' Meeting.
All hail the conquering heroes!
-It's not a--
It's not done deal, yet,
Con, you know.
But we're close.
I think the lawyers can
finesse the rest, yeah?
Dad, you would've
fucking loved it.
Sandi is barely alive.
You could've told him to go
fucking eat his own diaper
and his only response would be,
Fucking (BLOWS A KISS)
Wait, what? You did it?
You're on? We're on?
-GERRI: Well we might--
-Hmm, yeah. They've got nowhere
else to maneuver, so.
Well, they could've
said yes in Greece.
-Saved us all the ball-ache.
GERRI: Still,
Logan, this is good news.
Oh, yeah.
-Good for them and bad for us.
SHIV: Dad, how can it be
bad for us?
LOGAN: They were
always gonna settle.
Uh, something screwy going on.
Do we give them a taste
of their own medicine?
Let everyone know
-that they bent for me?
Reopen the negotiation, Dad?
No, we settle now
or we go to the vote and lose.
Tell him he can't step foot
inside the building!
Look, Logan, I know painful
this is but we need this.
SHIV: Christ, Dad!
You just said
it's not far off
what we originally offered.
We fuck this deal
and there are no more deals.
Uh-huh? Okay.
Okay, thanks, Dad.
That's-- It's smart.
It is.
-Well done.
-CONNOR: Well done.
-SHIV: Thanks.
-Well done.
COLIN: Sorry, sir. Advil?
What do you think?
About the deal?
Could be good.
Get Advil?
I'll get some Advil.
FRANK: I would also like to
invite to the stage, Richard
Fucking Frank.
It's humiliating.
All these years,
he still has to play
maitre'd at
the Bistro of Bullshit.
Yeah, what?
I'm in the middle.
BIANCA: Mr. Roy,
I'm sorry to bother you
but the rabbit is sick.
What do you mean?
The rabbit's sick?
What-- what-- what kind of sick?
How-- Did you call a vet?
How-- How much bagel
did you give her?
BIANCA: Not that much,
but I-- I did say
that they're not supposed to
have bagels.
Okay, you know what,
just figure it out, okay?
Just call our doctor.
BIANCA: But the doctor
does, uh, people?
Yeah, if he can do people,
he can do rabbits.
Hi, by the way.
ROMAN: Um, is this
business or friendly?
-Oh, sorry. I was just--
-SHIV: Hey, Karolina.
How are you?
How's the release coming?
Wait, almost.
And who's, uh, gonna announce?
-GERRI: I'll do it.
-KARL: I can do it.
Oh, well
-It's Sandi.
-SHIV: What?
-CONNOR: Which one?
The one who can talk.
Hey, Sandi.
are you sure about that?
Well, go on.
All right, but
So, they have one more proviso.
They want to take away
the private jets.
The PJs? No.
"Elitist and out of touch."
Well, duh, but no.
That's just--
They're trying to humiliate him.
Well, was it real, or are they
just basting the turkey?
I-- Let's just eat it, Dad.
You can tell them
to fuck off later.
Yeah, we can just offer to cut
personal use or a mileage cap.
Bullshit! No! First, they came
for the PJs and I said nothing.
Then they come for the outsized
compensation payments, you know?
This is-- No, this is bullshit.
They'll back down.
They're not gonna
blow it up over this.
-I need a piss.
-SHIV: Oh.
-LOGAN: Shiv.
-Uh, sure. Do you need some
help or-- I can call--
reach out to
Let's go.
You-- You wanna
make a decision now?
Before or?
SHIV: Uh, ooh, Dad?
Frank's about to introduce you.
I-- I-- What do I say?
Uh, boss--
Wha-- What do--
Okay, uh, what--
-Well, Stewy's not picking up.
Karl, vamp!
-ROMAN: Great. Karl vamping.
-GREG: You got it, man!
So, without further ado,
and with interesting things
to tell you, I believe,
please welcome
our Chief Financial Officer,
Karl Muller.
Slow it down.
The deal may be off.
Um, I-- I'm needed elsewhere.
-So, uh
Bonne chance, Franco.
Wonderful news.
Well, uh, in fact,
we will be hearing
from our Chief Financial Officer
a little later, and before that,
uh a little further ado.
In fact, uh, much ado.
Much ado about, uh, something.
GERRI: Logan!
Logan, we can't wait any longer.
-What do we say?
-Yeah. What's it gonna be, Dad?
-GERRI: We need an answer.
-Uh-huh, uh-huh.
What do you think, Logan?
Yes or no?
Fuck 'em.
I, uh
Fuck 'em!
SHIV: Uh, you sure, Dad? That--
You sure you wanna do this?
You okay, Dad?
Do you know something, or
GERRI: I mean, that is--
this is a huge call.
Are we happy?
I just gave you some, sir.
You need something else?
Is he okay? I mean,
does this make sense?
Is he-- Is he okay?
Yes, it makes sense.
He's fucking okay.
Look, he's gambling the company
'cause he's a fucking badass.
-He knows what he's doing.
-Um, was that a--
that was a--
that was a clear no, right?
He definitely said fucking no.
No deal.
-SHIV: Did he? (GROANS)
-That was a definite no.
ROMAN: Yeah, I mean, if we win
without a deal
then it's all upside.
KARL: We're really
rolling the dice here?
This is classic fucking Dad.
I mean, if we do come through,
it's one for the memoirs.
I mean, it really is
quite thrilling.
It's a huge fucking gamble!
For what?
He's trusted his gut before.
It's always worked out.
Oh, God,
I wish I knew the thinking.
But, yeah, I mean,
he has been here before, so
He did, uh, get a call
on the way to the restroom.
ROMAN: Oh! You could've
fucking mentioned.
Okay, so, maybe
he knows something.
Well, he always knows something.
He's fucking Dad.
He's six moves ahead.
SHIV: Okay, well
So we're really
fucking doing this?
-ROMAN: Fuck 'em.
Okay, fine. Fuck 'em.
-ROMAN: Fuck 'em.
-I'll, uh
-make the fucking call.
-SHIV: Hey, so
No. Either you fold on the jets
or we'll take our chances
on the vote.
Nope. He's not gonna
fold on the jets.
So we'll go to the vote.
Seriously? Why?
SHIV: Uh, I don't know.
I just do what my dad tells me.
Did you say--
Did you say "Greg"?
Get this to Frank.
Now. He's on stage.
Get this to Frank now.
FRANK: And after a major
overhaul of company policies,
we continue to strive to make
cruises a safe and special place
that provides special memories
for all our customers.
It adds up to
a bright future all around.
Well, that's, uh
Fuck, that's done.
Good. Decisive.
I mean, if it's done, you know,
if we win, that's good.
What's going on
with the the
the Raisin?
Um, I'm sorry, with--
with the President?
Can we get Ravenhead on the air?
You mean now?
-It's daytime programming.
-Call Michelle-Anne.
Tell her to get the SEC
to shut this meeting down.
Okay, well,
we'll look into that.
I need a piss.
-Where is he?
-Who me? Again? Yeah.
Sure, okay.
All right.
-You guys off to the bathroom?
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
-All right.
-This way.
What fucking business
is it of yours?
Oh, no, no. I just--
Just making-- Yeah, I think
it's just this back
this way still.
-Cool. I got it.
-Okay. Okay. He's got it.
to take a few moments now
to talk to you about
our TV and movie divisions
and our mighty ambitions
for content creation and
Look, I don't know
their thinking, all right?
It's-- it's-- its fucked.
Great. You're supposed to be
my inside fucking track.
Uh-huh, well, where did
the plane bullshit come from?
Because that's petty.
We are a complicated coalition.
And Sandy is
the angriest fucking vegetable.
KENDALL: All right, listen.
I can salvage this.
-I'm on my way to talk to them.
-STEWY: Good luck!
The fucking
belligerent zucchini here
is set to close
the negotiations for good.
Okay, just--
just hang tight, dude.
-Puppet master's on it.
Logan, you okay?
You need help?
-Hey, you okay, big man?
Are you okay? Did you get it--
Did you get it caught?
No. Give me a hand.
Okay. Yeah.
Not to-- Do you, like--
-You don't need me to
hold the scepter, do you? No.
Okay, take your time.
Take your time. No rush.
Hey, are you okay?
You're really shivering.
I think we need to
get you seen by somebody.
-I think
Thanks, son.
-Oh, dear.
-Hey. Oh.
KARL: Wait. It's Michelle-Anne.
Wants to talk to your dad.
Says he's not picking up.
What, she's moaning about
the coverage again?
She says it's urgent, I mean
SHIV: Well, tell her
we'll call her back.
ROMAN: Yeah. Tell her
he'd have the time to talk
if we weren't busy
fighting the fucking DOJ.
Uh, hi, Michelle-Anne.
-KARL: Okay, well, we would
like to. We'll find him.
-And we will get back to you.
Shiv, your dad
is totally out of it.
-Hey, Dad, are you okay?
-Hey, Shiv's here.
-No, no, don't get up, sir.
-LOGAN: No, no.
Marcia, Marcia
Um, what?
Not now. Not now.
I have to rethink my speech.
And it'll take me time.
So I need time.
Thank you, Marcia!
-It's okay.
-Um fuck.
-Yeah, it's all
-SHIV: What?
Hey, everybody, um
just to say that Logan
is not really himself right now.
-SHIV: Hey, Kerry.
Is Dad on any, uh, medication?
KERRY: Uh, he has a UTI.
Why? Is he all right?
Uh, could his meds
make him confused?
Uh, shouldn't. That's what
happens if he doesn't take them.
Okay, does he have them?
Where are they?
But-- I'm not-- I left them
with him, but, uh, I'm gonna--
I'm gonna be right there.
I have shots,
and I'm calling his doctor.
Okay. Uh
he's got a fucking UTI.
What? Seriously? Well, is that--
I mean, no.
It's not that
fucking serious, right?
What? At his age,
that can make you crazy.
Reagan had one
and nearly nuked Belgium.
Fuck, what?
How long has he--
How long has he been like this?
Was he like this
when he said no?
When he risked
the whole company?
No one hears about this.
Uh, go look after him.
Tom Tom!
-Go, go, go.
-Yeah, yeah.
SHIV: What do we do?
He has a UTI.
-GERRI: Somebody has to
call a doctor.
Can we just give him
some cranberry juice
and ask him
about the deal again?
He was just asking for Caroline.
Oh, fuck! He's piss-mad.
No, but you know,
he was in really good shape
when he offered me
European cable.
When did he say that?
Because he was definitely
out of it when he said that.
No, he was cogent at that--
I guarantee you, he wasn't.
It sounds like
he's been out of it for a while.
Okay, no, we don't actually
know that, okay?
What about
the phone call he took?
Maybe the decision he made
is the right decision.
We actually don't know
when he went piss-mad.
No, that could've been anything.
-That could've been robocall
or his fucking urologist.
-SHIV: Yeah.
No, no, I suspect that he's been
piss-mad for quite a while.
Oh, do you?
The fucking Hercule Poirot
of fucking piss over here.
Shiv, do you--
Should you overrule him?
Go back to Sandy and Stewy and
say we've changed our minds?
Yeah, I think you should
totally do that.
Dad loves that kind of thing.
Yeah, do it. Overrule him.
GERRI: Yeah, no.
Can't do that. Can't do that.
Um, guys, he says he still needs
to make his speech.
-Uh, what do you think?
-Can he do the speech?
-Can-- Can he--
-Can he do the speech?
The demented fucking
piss-mad King of England?
He could say anything.
He could tell everyone
he's Barbra Streisand. No.
I think we have to
drop it, right?
But at the very least,
he should be on stage.
It would be great
to get the body up there.
Okay, we push it
as late as we can,
and maybe if we just get him
on stage, that'll be enough?
Oh, yeah, sure, maybe send him
up through a trap door
surrounded by dry ice.
Where is this doctor anyway?
He's He's concerned there is
a dead cat under his chair.
-Oh, great, okay.
-GERRI: Is there anything
under the chair?
-Uh, Greg
-GERRI: Oh, okay, great.
-SHIV: Give that to Frank.
HUGO: He seems
insistent and, uh
he says that, uh,
he doesn't want Rose to see it.
And he wants
Colin to take it out.
Fine, have Colin take it out.
-Good! Thanks, Hugo, thank you.
-KERRY: Hey!
KERRY: The doctor's on his way.
Why the fuck didn't you
mention this before, huh?
Um, he didn't want
anyone to know.
Okay, well, that's
worked out well, hasn't it?
Oh, fuck!
ROMAN: Oh, great! Hey!
Um, who invited you? Thanks.
So, what the fuck is going on?
-It's fine.
We got it under control.
-He's squashing the deal?
-We got it.
-You have to
turn this around right now!
-SHIV: Yeah. yeah.
-We got this
under control, okay?
SHIV: We're figuring it out.
-Thank you for your concern.
-What-- What's happening?
-ROMAN: His doctor's
on the way. Okay?
-What the fuck is going on?
It's fine, it's all right.
-KENDALL: What is that?
-Can you leave, please?
That is an imaginary cat.
Now could you please fuck off?
Listen to me very carefully.
-All of you.
This is you throwing it away.
You think they're bluffing?
They are not fucking bluffing.
And you're putting everything
I have fought and bled for
on the fucking edge, and
I am not gonna let that happen.
-Do you understand me?
-ROMAN: Yes.
-SHIV: You're not welcome here.
-You fix it!
You fucking fix it!
-You may go. You're excused.
-You're not welcome.
You have no right to be here.
-Please leave.
-Thank you very much for
your concern. Please, thank you.
Go, delusional.
Fucking delusional man
leaving the room.
And figure out a fucking doctor
or I'm calling mine.
-SHIV: Get the fuck out of here.
-Thank you so much
for your concern.
Like you give a fuck!
You probably slipped
him something, Putin. Fuck!
SHIV: Dad.
-Keep Frank on.
-LOGAN: Why is Frank so angry?
-Oh, uh, that's Kendall.
-LOGAN: Is Frank upset?
No, some people were
nasty to Frank.
-It's fine now, though.
-Very mad, people were yelling.
-LOGAN: Who was nasty to him?
-No, no, you sit down.
-Don't worry, he's okay.
-LOGAN: Nobody should be
I'm the only one who's
allowed to be nasty.
TOM: No, there were
some silly people
and they've gone now.
And we will all
work together as a team
to lead the company
to a brighter future.
And now I will hand you over to
Gerri Kellman, our interim CEO.
You cowardly prick!
Thank you, Frank.
I'd like to begin by reflecting
on some of the many changes
I have seen
in my 30 years at Waystar.
SHIV: Hey!
He's on fluids and hydrating.
So it should be pretty quick.
He's definitely gonna be okay?
But, uh, how quick?
Well, he's not
a cup of instant noodles.
Sure, but can we speed it up?
Like a blood bag
or an adrenaline shot?
ROMAN: Geez.
Fucking take it easy.
You wanna give him
the fucking Tabasco suppository?
Fuck you! It's what he'd want.
Fuck you. The main thing is
that we look after him, okay?
Yeah, well, obviously
I agree, Roman.
Oh, yeah? Really?
'Cause it sounded like
you want to jumpstart our father
like he's a fucking
pick-up truck.
Oh, shit. Um, can you like
call me when he's less
GERRI: positive direction.
We will explore alternatives
for our cruise division,
including a
possible divestiture.
And we'll initiate
a share repurchase plan
and a special dividend.
And we'll be forming
Doctor says he's gonna be fine,
but I don't know.
-It's fine, he's asleep.
-GERRI: spearheaded by
our visionary Chief Operating
Officer, Roman Roy.
-GREG: Hey, yeah, yeah.
I was-- I was wondering, just,
in your view
do you think it's possible
to sue a person,
uh, a grandparent for example,
uh, in a way which is like
like in an affectionate way?
That might convey, like,
"I love you and, I'm glad you're
a part of my life,
but I am taking
legal action against you"?
-KARL: We're getting-- Just--
-KAROLINA: This isn't--
This isn't turning
any floating votes our way.
Should we, uh,
call in a bomb threat?
So, his moaning's
getting louder.
Okay, but can he
do that on stage?
-Is it a wheel on and wave?
-ROMAN: Fuck. Like we're not
gonna make the piss-mad bear
dance with fucking cattle prods.
We need to be
looking after him, okay?
So, he's not
gonna do his speech?
Is-- Is he talking?
Is that it though? Do we just--
Does, does that-- Do we go down?
And fucking give up?
-KARL: No.
-HUGO: No.
SHIV: Maya!
Talk to me.
-SHIV: Come on!
I would strongly urge you to do
whatever you can to settle.
SHIV: Okay, I think
we go back to Sandy and Stewy
-and try and save the deal.
ROMAN: No. No, you can't.
Because Dad said no deal.
-No, Dad didn't say shit, Rome.
-Dad said no deal!
No, he didn't! His urethra had
wrested control from his brain!
I at least talk to them, right?
-TOM: Right.
-KARL: Yeah.
'Cause if we go to the vote,
we probably
we lose. Karl?
-SHIV: Frank?
-SHIV: Tom? Yes?
-Yes, yes.
-I say yeah.
-SHIV: Okay. Rome?
You back this?
Go on. Yeah.
Go fuck it up, moron.
Uh, I was wondering
if we could have another chat?
Just the two of us,
before the vote closes?
Thank you for your support.
This is the power of Waystar.
A bright new beginning, but
the journey remains the same.
We at Waystar Royco
KAROLINA: She's dried up.
Just couldn't do it.
She hit the video,
but we have to close this vote.
This is it.
Um, I've got
the White House on the line.
Oh, yeah, they've been coming
at us from all sides
since the ATN pivot.
KERRY: It's not Michelle-Anne.
It's the President.
He wants an urgent conversation.
-On-- on that phone, now?
Mm-hm. Yeah, I mean, on mute.
But it's the switchboard.
He wants Logan.
Right, well, that's not ideal.
I mean, can we just say no?
FRANK: Well, uh, how do we feel
about saying no
to the President right now?
Oh, I would love
to say no to the President.
I mean, he can't talk to Dad.
Uh, can we just tell him
to fuck off?
I mean, by all accounts,
he won't remember by tomorrow?
KERRY: Yeah, I was wondering
if it might be about
the DOJ and everything.
I mean,
it's fucking late, but
if the pressure got turned down
and we can leak it and, uh,
and then we throw Gerri
back up on stage
-and just keep her talking--
-I can do it.
TOM: I think-- No.
I think, maybe, Shiv. Shiv.
Can we get Shiv back, Frank?
Uh, Gerri!
Gerri, hey, Gerri!
We need someone--
Gerri, we need someone
sensible to talk to the, uh
-President right now
-CONNOR: I can do it.
urgently on
an urgent personal matter.
-Roman, you've met him, right?
well, if it's between--
sorry, Roman and Gerri,
I would definitely--
I'll talk to him,
the little bitch, here.
Um, should we hurry?
Because I think
it's kind of urgent.
I mean, I can do it, but
Roman, you get on
with them, right?
I mean, if anyone here
is bootleg Logan,
Okay, gimme.
Just explain it's out of respect
and you can take the message--
Yeah, yeah, I got it. It's just
the President. It's fine.
HUGO: This guy? Tony Tourette's?
Are you kidding? Are you sure?
-Don't swear at him!
-Oh, really?
It's not cool to tell
the President to blow me?
Hey, Mr. President.
This-- Sorry.
Yeah, no--
Cross-talk. You go.
Yeah, no this is, uh, actually,
I'm his son, Roman.
Yup, that one.
Look, he can't talk
right now, but, uh
how you doing?
Yeah, I will certainly
let him know that you are upset.
Hey, I can't leave my dad alone,
so what's going on?
SHIV: Uh, look.
Upon further reflection,
we have decided
to accept your counter.
-We can eat the jets.
-Okay, uh
-Any context?
-Uh, no.
We took another look
and thought that this was
the clearest way forward.
And this is what your dad wants?
Yeah, it is what my dad wants.
Well-- well, good. This is good.
SHIV: Great, so, we're good?
We're, you know,
we're going to be good?
Sure, um
well, honestly, knowing where
my dad is coming from,
I do just wonder
if there will be one more thing.
So, don't turn your phone off.
Okay, come on, look.
Is there something
that we can work out here?
You know, it's now or never.
Well, I-- I-- I don't know.
Sandi, look, I
I don't think it's right
how your dad sidelines you
in all this.
And maybe it's appropriate
for me to have somebody
like-minded on the board.
So, how about
a fourth seat
on the board
for you.
You can tell him that
you screwed it out of us
and my dad was losing his shit
and it nearly killed him.
-Four seats? That's--
-SHIV: Yeah.
That's a lot of seats.
He will like that.
-SANDI: Yeah.
Well, it is one more
than three by my count.
So, Waystar, for balance,
will need an extra one.
For me.
I see.
Uh, yeah, he won't love that.
Okay, well, look,
just tell him that
the fucking,
the markets will never let
me or my brothers be CEO.
SANDI: Oh, come on.
Do you believe that?
I just care
if your dad believes it.
Uh, look, I should go.
See if I can sell it.
But this is,
this is good with Logan?
I can sell it.
Can you sell it?
Well, I will relay that.
You are not running again,
and he hopes that we're happy.
-We need the access!
And I mean,
and that's decided already?
Because, you know, I think that,
uh, whatever our
minor differences,
we would urge you
to not stand aside.
Yup, but no. I will be
the messenger boy.
Happy to be that.
I just think-- Yeah.
I just think that our position,
and speaking for my father here,
um, you know, good friends
can be really tough
with their constructive
criticisms, but, um
we would just say, you know,
and I think that you are
a really significant
historical figure
who has a lot more to give.
Yeah, well, the whole family
at ATN could rally round.
It would be a shame, you know,
sir, to lose you, so
Well, uh, in that case, uh,
Mr. President,
it has been a privilege
to have the opportunity, yeah.
Best of luck to you, and okay!
All right, so
Uh, yeah. He just wanted to
let us know that
he's not gonna run again.
-He's pulling out.
-HUGO: Fucking fuck!
Yeah. His minor
neurological issue,
which you know, the media,
starting with us,
have blown way out of proportion
and he doesn't want to put
his wife and kids and family
through all
the blah, blah, blah.
And fuck Dad, and fuck me,
and fuck ATN, and Ravenhead,
and good luck getting the kind
of access that he granted
with whoever
is the next President.
Which, if left up to him,
could be a chicken.
-ROMAN: Yeah.
-Boom-shaka-laka! Hell yeah!
-ROMAN: Fuck yeah, Connor,
I think we just alienated
our most powerful ally.
I mean, it's kind of
nice to know that we can, like,
puppet master the whole
American Republic project
and all, but--
TOM: Oh! Shiv!
Four seats.
-GERRI: What?
-We eat the PJs.
We get a seat. We get a seat.
Yeah, that was
pretty hard to finesse, but
Sandy and Sandi
are definitely
in, so
-Gerri, are we good?
-Four seats?
Oh, fuck!
I would like to say yes to that.
I just-- I--
I think we need to
say yes to that, Gerri!
Can I just-- At some point,
Dad is gonna
walk out of there, so
TOM: Are we good?
KARL: I-- We--
TOM: Are we good?
Four seats. No PJs.
Uh, we're good. We're good.
Yeah. No vote. Hold the voting.
-Okay, we're good.
They're good.
It's a yes from this end, so
-TOM: We're good!
Okay, they're good
if we're good! It's done.
-KARL: Great. Great.
-GERRI: Okay, uh
-So, um,
we need to talk to the lawyers.
They need to plug in the new
details and get signatures
and then we can
talk to the shareholders.
Right, well, Frank, you've done
so much already,
-I would be happy to.
-GERRI: Oh, I see.
Okay, so, we will publish
a press release as Karl--
as Karl--
as he's announcing it. Right.
TOM: Fucking superhero!
The world's on fire!
Thank you! Thanks, honey.
Hey, you wanna get
a hotel room tonight?
-Hotel? I think there's, uh
rooms in the apartment
we've never fully walked into.
I think there's just something
about the way you
smell and the way your body
looks at this time of the mont--
-You know, I'm like a dog.
-What time?
-Time of the?
-I think. I think
I'm just most horny when you're
the most fertile, you know.
That's how it works, right?
Is this--
Tom, why you asked me
when my period was?
-(GIGGLES) Are you tracking me?
No, we're like a sorority house.
We're in sync.
I'm just vibing
to your sexy window.
Tom, are you
keeping a shadow log?
Watching the phases of the moon
to see when
I'm the most breedable?
No, I just, like,
counted the days on my iCal.
-It's not creepy.
-SHIV: Oh, my God!
It's not creep--
No, it's not, come on.
I've got like
six more ovulation windows
until all sex is prison sex.
I said I didn't like the timing.
Well, I think the timing's good.
Like, nine to twelve months
is kind of what
I'm hoping I might serve.
I think it's a good slot.
What? Put one in
for when you're out?
No, no! It's--
It would keep you--
-SHIV: What?
-Like, not company, but--
I might need something, Shiv.
Okay? Otherwise,
what is the point of all this?
Where are we heading?
Tom, I don't want to be
your fucking incubator for
when you're in prison
doing chin-ups
and reading Knausgaard.
You're making it sound horrible.
And it's not horrible.
It's nice.
-SHIV: Oh my God.
-It's supposed to be nice.
SHIV: Fuck.
Yeah, I should be out there.
You know, I'm hiding back here.
It makes me look like
I'm losing,
when actually, I'm winning.
-Your very absence--
-Plus, Stewy says
we have the deal,
so it's safe.
Your very absence
has a certain power.
Uh-huh. I think my absence makes
me look like a little bitch.
We believe this
dynamic action plan
will restore full confidence
in the Waystar brand
for both our consumers
and our employees alike.
We've addressed systemic issues
that affected us historically.
And we vow to do better
moving forward.
Because at Waystar, we've
always cared about women--
Uh, yes, uh, may I just
interrupt for just a moment.
Uh, we are very,
very pleased to report
that a settlement
has been reached
with Maesbury Capital
and Furness Media Groups
-which will--
Thank you.
We're all overjoyed.
And Logan, uh, Logan Roy just
desperately wanted to be here
to address his shareholders
at this very important time.
He's a details guy, my friends.
And he's been working
very hard on this.
And he will be, um, connecting
with his shareholders
-SHIV: Oh, fuck me!
-Oh, my God.
Fucking stop him!
Step on his balls! Stop him!
Don't we have a guy?
-HUGO: Yup. Yup.
-Do we have security?
Sorry, do you mind?
What? What are you doing?
-I'll take it from here.
-No, no, no, no.
-Step aside, please.
-Ken, don't do this.
-Karl Muller, everyone.
SHIV: We can't--
We can't do anything about this.
-HUGO: Where's Colin?
-We can't manhandle him.
-CONNOR: Colin is with
-Can't we?
-CONNOR: Colin's with Pop.
-He's with Logan.
You know, I'm not actually
I'm not actually
scheduled to speak today.
I would like to say this.
I'd like to ask you all
to please join with me
in a moment of silence
for all the victims of crimes
that took place on our watch.
Keira Mason.
-SHIV: Oh, my God!
-GERRI: Oh, my God.
-HUGO: Cut his mic.
Make sure his mic is cut.
-He's so annoying.
You're not being silent.
-SHIV: The narcissism of
-this fucking guy!
-You know what?
He looks crazy
-HUGO: Yes, now.
-and I think
that can be good for us.
Iris Versppuci,
-Kelly Rob--
Kelly Robinson-Kellis.
HUGO: Did-- did they cut--
They, yes, okay.
-Yeah, but I can still hear.
-'Cause he's loud as fuck.
We can still hear him.
Cut all mics, please.
He's not even wearing a tie.
I would just like to announce
that I am launching a foundation
in the name of victims
who suffered sexual abuse
in the hands of
my family's company.
Thank you!
We should've chopped him down.
GERRI: Yeah, well.
I guess it might've
seemed suspicious.
Kind of like shredding
a human document.
Four seats.
And the Raisin gone.
What if we get
a more aggressive DOJ?
You feeling better?
So, here I was thinking
about European cable,
and then boom, open sesame!
Can you believe it?
It is hard to believe.
-Have a good time.
-CONNOR: Thank you.
Yeah, so, I have a little bit
of a development.
Apparently, I can't technically
sue Ewan while he's still alive,
but I can sue Greenpeace.
You're going to sue Greenpeace?
I like your style, Greg.
Who do you think you're
gonna go after next?
Save the Children?
-FRANK: Sorry, everyone.
I think, uh,
every attendee of today's
shareholder meeting can agree
we've heard more than enough
out of me today.
But I just want to say,
well done to all.
Well done to Logan,
well done to Shiv,
on one hell of a Hail Mary.
-FRANK: To us!
SHIV: So, congratulations.
You did it.
Uh, I need to see
all the detail.
Oh, Dad, the detail's good.
The seat was the only way.
That's what people on the shitty
end of the deal always say.
Four seats.
But I stipulated that
we need a seat of our own.
And we've talked
about that, right?
Adding another person
to the board. Like me?
Or Connor,
you know, or whoever.
(SCOFFS) We couldn't
risk a vote!
You were
Dad, you were AWOL.
What would--
What would you have done, then?
LOGAN: Not that.
Okay, but what
would you have done?
I'd have figured it out.
Time to think on next moves.
Uh, don't you want to just
savor this moment for a minute?
To, you know,
that we came out of this alive?
There's blood in the water,
the sharks are coming.
We should hustle on acquisition.
Just take this
for a toast, yeah?
Oh, God!
Shiv, I'm trying to talk to
Gerri about something important.
Stop buzzing in my fucking ear!
Well, someone is feeling better.
Uh, here's to us.
-To us.
-SHIV: Uh-huh.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, come here.
Come on. I'm not gonna
I'm not gonna hump you.
Just give you a hug.
It's just a hug.
Come on.
-ROMAN: You okay, Pop?
Shiv being a bitch?
The responses, like, were
kind of positive actually--
It was good that you
mentioned the foundation.
-Personalized the whole thing.
-Yeah. What's the feedback?
Um, someone called it, uh,
Sermon on the Marriott?
-KERRY: Ken?
-Sermon on the Marriott?
-That's-- That's--
I think that'll catch on.
-Yeah, that's great!
-KERRY: Hi. I'm sorry.
-In a-- in a good way?
-Yeah, what's up?
You mind sticking around
for a little bit?
Because I think
your dad wants a word.
Yeah, what's he got?
The-- the brass knuckles
or the bullwhip?
I have a room.
-Am I grounded, Kerry?
-I have a room. I have-- Okay.
-Yeah, let's go.
Let's go.
-JESS: Hey, Ken.
I just wanted to
tell you that your dad
-actually already left, so
-KENDALL: Oh, he did?
Okay, um, I'll call the car.
Block this number for me.
-You sure?
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