Succession (2018) s04e10 Episode Script

With Open Eyes

NEWS ANCHOR: In terms of M&A action,
we're hearing that GoJo and Waystar
could seal their long-gestated
deal as soon as tomorrow.
Word is that regulatory
concerns have receded.
So Lukas Matsson may soon take control
of the deceased Logan Roy's empire
to add to his streaming, betting,
sports, and socials everything app
- to create that all-singing
- KENDALL ROY: All right.
Okay, okay. Carpe the diem, people.
KENDALL: Hey, hey! Okay.
Telly! Let's run this, uh,
board presentation, shall we?
- Yeah, great. Thanks. (SIGHS)
- Good stuff.
- So, uh
- KENDALL: What?
Just Stewy. That was his guy,
- and, um
- Yeah?
Yeah, I don't think we got him.
Cool. Cool.
- Where is he?
- Um
KENDALL: Get me him direct.
It might be smokescreen.
I think Yeah, that'll be
that'll be smokescreen.
I can pull in Stew.
- Ken, I
- (SIGHS) Man.
I don't think we have the shareholders,
and I don't think we have the
board numbers to stop this.
I'll get the votes.
Uh, if we had more
time, but by tomorrow?
- I'll get the votes.
- Ken, we
You wanna just, uh,
outline the path here?
Okay. I got fucking me, I got Ewan,
I got Paul, I got Dewi. Locked.
- So, yeah?
- Mm-hmm. Okay, great. And?
And I still think I can get Stewy.
I think maybe Sonya.
Maybe Frank. There are
multiple, multiple routes.
Right now, you have
four, and one of them
And is Roman even gonna
show? Is he gonna vote?
Don't worry about Roman.
- But just where does he stand?
- KENDALL: I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't fucking know. Okay?
I don't know.
Okay? Does that make you feel better?
- KENDALL: I don't know where he is.
I don't know where he
stands. But I got him. Okay?
I fucking got this, Telly Bear.
Okay! I think they lost Stewy.
He's wonked. So that means we got
(LAUGHS) Kendall in the trunk,
all trussed up and
ready to fucking bake!
- Yeah?
- It's good.
Okay. 'Cause, you know,
we got me, obviously
Here. Uh me, Simon, Frank,
Sandy and Sandi, locked.
And then Stewy. I
Look, he talks a lot of shit,
but I think he's gonna stay.
He's not gonna split.
'Cause money, honey, right?
So, then we got Diane Liu, Sonya.
And then we we have it.
Then, if we peel off
Dewi, Paul, and Ewan,
then there's only, like is that
Ken and Rome in the against.
That's fuckin' And
Rome might not even show up
from whatever jerk dungeon
he's being pity-spanked in.
You happy?
- Very happy. Very yeah.
- SHIV ROY: Uh-huh. Yeah. Good.
Success! Yeah.
Oh, and, uh, I'm checking in on Frank,
if you wanna still do
the old-school signing?
- Perfect.
- You know, um, me as new CEO?
Yes? Uh, and your list?
What's what's on
You wanna talk Tom?
Or I know you've been
thinking about ATN?
And just just say out
loud. It's no big deal for me.
Well, we've, uh, we've had some
initial, like, um, vibe meets, um
Yeah, I mean, he's
shitting himself. (LAUGHS)
Yeah. Well, the delta between a guy
and a 10x guy is
is obviously life and death,
- and ATN is central. So
- SHIV: Sure.
(SIGHS) Tom. Tom.
Yeah. I don't know.
Um what do you think?
Okay. Well, he's very
competent, but if he irks you,
or it's complicated, it is okay.
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
He is very plausible corporate matter,
but he's also just a highly
interchangeable modular part.
And I would say that to his face.
- Okay.
- Okay, but if we wanted continuity
because there's been a lot of changes
You know, ATN is going gangbusters,
and he is well-liked.
So if he were to stay on,
that would also be okay with me.
- Okay, good to know.
- SHIV: Yeah.
This is separate feelings aside,
Tom will honestly suck the
biggest dick in the room.
- That's just my assessment.
- Love is in the air.
- SHIV: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
SHIV: Uh, sorry. Excuse me.
Uh, yeah. Just one sec. Hi!
PHONE) Hello, darling.
Uh, is it How
How are things going?
Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Good. Good. Thanks.
I just wanted to know if there
was any chance of you coming?
(SIGHS) Yeah. I mean
Look, I would love to,
but I think, you know, fuckin' schedules
- and and board.
- CAROLINE: Yeah, I know, but
Well, there's somebody here
I think you might want to see.
I promised I wouldn't say, but it's
one of your brothers.
And it's not Kendall.
Oh. Okay. Well, let me crack the code.
- CAROLINE: I just thought you'd like to know.
- Uh. Yeah, well
Let me have a think. But let's
Yeah, let's try and Let's
try and make this work. Shall we?
That okay? That profile bullshit.
- LUKAS MATSSON: The cartoon?
- SHIV: Yeah.
I think it's funny.
- SHIV: Yeah?
- Like
"Oh, look at me! Look at me!"
- Uh-huh. Yeah, 'cause I
- (CHUCKLES) It's good. Yeah.
'Cause I can get the
the journalist, you know,
- maybe take the online?
- LUKAS: No, no.
I don't give a fuck.
People always try to fuckin'
- get at me, you know?
- SHIV: Okay.
- LUKAS: They can't.
- Uh, look, that was that was, uh,
an associate of mine,
indicating they got a fix on Roman.
So why don't I just fuckin'
go and nail Roman as well?
It would be so nice just to
get unanimity across the board.
You know, all of us
smiling in public, just
just nice, clean start
for the start of our reign.
- All right.
- SHIV: Yeah? 'Cause, you know, corporate narrative.
If we're on separate sides,
it looks like Lady Macbeth Part Two.
And that's not It would be
It would, just in
an It would be nice,
in an abundance of caution, just to
- close nice.
- Yeah, yeah.
Great. All right. Call
me whenever, wherever.
- LUKAS: Yeah.
- I'm available. Okay? Yeah?
- Let's fuckin' do this. Yeah?
- LUKAS: Go get him.
- Hey, Shiv.
- What are you hearing?
- Uh, Rome's at my mom's.
So I'm on my way to bag him.
I'm looking for unanimity.
Okay. He's at your mom's?
And have you spoken to Lukas?
Um, am I for the chop?
(SIGHS) Yeah, I mean, I'm trying.
TOM WAMBSGANS: Okay. I'm just
I'm I got a bad feeling.
We've we've booked
me in for the third hang.
It's excruciating.
I'm just I'm scared
he's gonna want to play online games,
and I'll be running into
a wall for hours. You know?
Tom. Hey, Tom, can we
have a real conversation?
- Uh-huh.
- SHIV: Okay. So, on the Matsson stuff,
I'll do what I can. I'm
trying. But, uh, with us,
I just I wanted to
get a few things straight.
Yeah. I just Yeah. I just
want it to be really nice.
And we should we should,
uh, Czechoslovakia it. You know?
We should make it all lovely
velvet, parting of the ways.
So, for you, there's
there's not anything left?
Well, how do you mean?
Uh, well, I I wondered if
You know, I guess I thought
it might be worth raising.
Are there any, uh, positives
about the nightmare we've shared?
As in?
I guess if if there
was anything there.
Uh If there was, then
it would be so convenient.
Yeah, well, it would
be incredibly convenient
because you would be
married to your husband.
(CHUCKLING) Yeah, exactly.
And then when you think
of the scheduling, it's
it's mess free.
Yeah. You've fallen in love finally.
You've, uh, you've fallen in love
with our scheduling opportunities.
And I would also, you
know, I would love to
not to have, uh
You don't like to fail
a test, do you, Siobhan?
Uh, look.
I know that we've said the worst things.
But I
I think I've always just been scared
in relationships of, uh
you know, like
the underneaths.
You know, what's the worst thing
a person thinks? But we know.
But once you've said
and done the worst things,
you're kind of free.
Yeah, I guess I
guess my question is
are you interested in
a real relationship?
Honest to God, I don't know Shiv.
I just I, uh
I just don't know.
Okay. Sure. Right. Bye.
KENDALL: Stewy. Stewy,
bro. Don't hide from me.
I can see you from up here.
Come with me, Stew.
We can win this. Okay?
- Ken.
- KENDALL: Yeah?
- From Greg and Ratfucker Sam.
- Okay.
- Okay, now we're talking.
- Yeah.
- CAROLINE: Hello, darling.
- Hey, Mom.
So, I hear Romey might be there.
Listen, I'm sorry I couldn't
make your get-together,
but I need to speak
to Roman very urgently.
No recriminations.
But it's life-or-death.
- Is he there?
(STAMMERS) I I can't say.
Oh, you can't say? Well,
he needs to come back.
Is he planning to
come back for tomorrow?
That's for you to decide,
all of you. I I
He he's very fragile.
And and is Shiv there? Is she coming?
I don't want to get into a
lot of business, all right?
I want I'd love for the
whole family to be here.
But if it's going to be thumbscrews,
I'd rather it didn't happen in my house.
Okay, I'm coming. I'm
coming. I'll be there, Mom.
- We have him. We have him. New Jess, New Jess.
- HUGO BAKER: All right. Great.
I'm I'm flying out.
Uh, I'll be back tonight,
early tomorrow latest, small team.
We just up I'll I'll
put this together on the move.
- Okay?
- HUGO: 'Kay. Yup.
- Let's get him. Let's bag him and tag him.
- HUGO: Okay.
- SHIV: Hey! How you doing?
- Hey, welcome.
Shit! The fuck happened to you?
- Hello, hello. How lovely.
- SHIV: Hi.
- (SHIV KISSES): Hello.
- Oh, wonderful.
I see you've brought
your underling with you.
SHIV: Yeah, well, got a lot going on.
What the fuck happened, man?
Oh yeah, I just had a
discussion with some of your pals
about the merits of liberal democracy.
- Yeah.
- Okay, well, it's
It's good that you're here, I guess.
You can rest and recuperate.
CAROLINE: Looks a lot
better than he did.
I couldn't look at him
when he first arrived.
Oh, that's true. Peter did my eye drops.
(CHUCKLING) Yeah. Bless him, though.
There's something about
eyes. They just kind of, ugh,
- revolt me.
- SHIV: Uh, eyes?
Like like human eyes we all have?
Yeah, I don't like to think
of all these blobs of jelly
rolling around in your head.
- Just face eggs.
- SHIV: Oh!
Anyway, come on in.
The place hasn't changed.
Still full of leaks.
- SHIV: Yeah.
- CAROLINE: Seem to have landed myself
in the only hellhole in paradise.
- KENDALL: Pick up, Stewy.
Pick up, pick up, pick up. Stewy.
Stewy. Stewy, there you are.
Are you with me? Talk to me.
Good man. Good man.
I knew you wouldn't
do me dirty like that.
Oh, I'm I'm just,
uh, making a pit stop.
I found Roman. I mean,
I always had Roman,
but this is just like "nailed" nailed.
With Lawrence Yee?
Vaul Vaulter Lawrence?
What shape does that make?
(LOUDLY) Romey!
Where are you?
Hello, hello. The hunt for
Red fucking October is over!
Hey, Portia.
KENDALL: Aha! Well, well, well.
- Look at this fucking family scene.
- ROMAN ROY: Hello.
- Just easy.
- You okay, man?
- Easy.
- The fuck happened to your face?
- He's fragile. Yeah? Just easy.
- What happened to your face?
- He's fragile?
- Dude, fuck you. Fragile. I'm not fragile. What?
Just back up, yeah?
- Just take it easy.
- Back up?
- Yeah.
- What? I'm
I'm just arriving for
a cup of fuckin' tea.
- Okay. Well, you're being very aggressive. Yeah?
- You missed teatime.
- Rome?
- Yeah. Hello.
- Calm down.
- I'm calm. Can we talk?
- Okay?
- ROMAN: Oh, God. I don't Don't
- We gotta talk. They're fucked.
- Okay. Don't talk to me that way. Okay?
Yeah, they're fucked.
You're fucked. We're fucked.
Everyone's fucked. Don't bullshit
me, man. I don't like that.
- KENDALL: What is this?
- What's what?
Did you get your little
fucking screwdriver in on him?
- You pry him open?
- No. No.
- Rome, that's bullshit. We're in this.
- ROMAN: Yeah?
- We're in this, man.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- What's going on?
- KENDALL: She's doing a number on you, man.
- Hey. Hey, Mom. Hey.
- CAROLINE: Hello, darling.
- Yes. Hi.
- Are we all right?
Yeah. I just need to talk to Roman.
- Well, I'm looking after Roman.
- You're not looking after me
- Well, let's be civil, please?
- Mom. Okay? I'm just I'm here.
- That's what I'm doing. It's fine. What?
- KENDALL: Rome.
- You promised me. You promised me
- Did I?
- you wouldn't do this. You promised me
- I don't recall saying the word.
- KENDALL: you wouldn't change your mind.
- Well, maybe I did, I'm sorry,
- and whoops, I don't give a fuck.
- This is fucking DEFCON 1.
The world is pivoting on you.
The world is turning
- on a fucking clown here.
- Okay, you're a fucking clown, man.
- KENDALL: Look at you.
Look at you, man. You're a clown.
Living in fucking dream world.
You don't have it. You don't have it.
You don't have it. You don't have it.
So why you tryna, like,
fucking get into me?
- Roman needs some peace and quiet.
- I have Ewan.
- ROMAN: Roman needs everyone to fuck off! I'm fine.
- I have Paul. I have Dewi and I have Stewy.
I was in a very violent fight, which
I won, by the way, but I'm fine.
- No, you don't.
- KENDALL: Yes, I do. Just
Just back the fuck off, okay?
Everyone just stop talking.
Okay, I'll leave you alone.
- I'll go if you just
- Right.
- tell me how you're voting.
- That's not backing off. You're still talking.
- KENDALL: Just tell me how you're voting.
- I don't want you to talk.
- KENDALL: Come on. Man up.
- Thanks, Mom. This was great. Thank you.
- KENDALL: I need you to man up here, Roman.
- ROMAN: I'm going.
- Don't go fucking hide and
- Please don't follow me. Don't talk.
Well, are you staying to dinner,
or just in and out
with all the shouting?
I'd love it if it wasn't a horror show.
I can't I have
There's a huge board meeting.
"Huge board meeting!"
Gosh. What an event!
That's never happened before in my life.
I've never had my plans ruined
by a huge board meeting before.
Well, I would love to.
I'm in for dinner.
- CAROLINE: Great.
- He might be busy.
You gotta call some people, yeah?
You're He's losing,
so he's very busy.
Yeah, that would be nice,
Mom. That would be nice.
- I I got nowhere to be.
- CAROLINE: Great.
LUKAS: What do you think, man?
What do I think? Uh, the colors go well.
- I think it's
- Trippy, dude.
Lukas. A second, please?
TOM: More hang. More fucking hanging
than a dictator's birthday.
Hey. "The colors go
well." Is that a sentence?
- Does that make sense?
- Yeah. "The colors go well."
"The colors go well together."
- "The colors go well."
- Yeah, that's okay.
- "The colors just go well."
- Greg, you're here for the hang.
So, you know, to jump in
on the little, you know,
little awkward social beats.
You gotta be like
like fucking social putty,
Okay? You're letting me swing.
Okay? He's gonna fucking
fire me. I know it.
I need ears and eyes out.
You know, like, on the
assistant loop. Ebba.
Like, is he planning to kill me?
If he wins, if he gets in,
you are fucked. You're fucked.
All right. Well, he likes me, so
You? You, 200K?
The highest paid
assistant in human history?
It's new management, bro.
You're gonna get busted
down to 20, 30, 40K.
- TOM: You know? Seriously.
- Stop it.
And if I get fired,
I think you are fucked.
- Well
- TOM: It's the family death march.
Early bird catches the Rome?
Well, you know. Yeah.
Just a
couple of things you
might be interested in.
- I got Stewy back.
- SHIV: Oh, yeah?
Sure. Well, you know,
even if he's telling the truth,
and you managed to get Roman,
seven still plays six, so
I'm I'm not sweating it.
Oh, yeah. Also
according to my sources,
Matsson is talking to Lawrence Yee.
- Vaulter Lawrence.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
KENDALL: So you knew that?
Yeah. (SNIFFS)
Oh, hey. Look at this
fucking scorpion party.
- SHIV: Hi.
- All right, who wants a piece of me?
Pay a buck, take a pop
at the human fucking vote.
Why don't I just cut my arms off?
I can give one to each
of you to take home with,
and then maybe you'll fuck off.
KENDALL: You want some rum punch?
Uh, hey. I was, uh
So, I was thinking,
and this is just a spitball,
but when this goes
through, for you guys,
remember how hot you
were for The Hundred?
You know, could I
- relinquish my part of the IP and
- Oh, right. That is very thoughtful. Wow.
So you'll, like, get
us a job at the mall?
Like, teach us the value of real money?
Rome, come on. I'm like
I'm trying to be realistic about, um,
- finding nice shapes here, for when I'm in there.
- KENDALL: Hmm. That's nice.
SHIV: Well, it is nice.
You know, actually, I would love
for both of you to support me
- taking over the firm.
- Uh-huh.
SHIV: What?
Oh, oh. Because I'm moving forward,
my kid loses access to its uncles, yeah?
- Well that's Okay. Manipulative.
- No, come on.
I mean, what's it gonna do
without all the the sexist and
homophobic jokes?
Don't fucking try and play us, Shiv.
Like, stop fucking gloating.
You've got your hands
on my throat, yeah?
So don't be all fucking Joan of Waystar.
All right, well, I don't know
what to say. 'Cause you
You know, you fucking grabbed
the crown, the two of you.
Dad died, and you fucking
You grabbed the crown and pushed me out.
So I don't know why I'm the cunt here?
Cunt is as cunt does.
(CHUCKLING) Oh, amazing.
Wow, Cicero on the
on the wheels of steel.
And fuck off. Okay? I won.
And I'm sorry for winning. But I did.
Sorry. I'm sorry. And you know what?
I'm actually tired of
saying fucking sorry.
I played it better,
so why don't you take it
like a man and just eat it?
My, what a lovely
evening on the terrace.
TOM: How was your seabass?
Those, uh, those cod cheeks
were a worthy opponent.
Hmm. No, it was it was fine.
Sometimes, I feel like
every fish in the city
is the same piece of
Xeroxed branzino. You know?
Totally, totally. Yeah, I think
we may have been badly advised.
- I think Greg fucked it. Yeah.
- WAITER: Fini, messieurs?
Merci beaucoup. (CHUCKLES)
How do you feel about,
uh, soft pitching me?
- On Tom.
- Oh.
Just, you know, the main slide.
On me? As in my value
to keep me? Sure. Yeah.
Yeah. I can sing for
my supper. (CHUCKLES)
Uh, well, no. Um. So,
yeah, as a manager,
I think, you know, I'm I'm simple.
You know, I squeeze the
costs and juice the revenue.
Follow the boss.
You know, I, uh, digest
strategy and implement.
Like, for, you know,
cruises, for example,
is shit-gobbling and firefighting.
- Num, num, num, num.
- TOM: Yes. (CHUCKLES) And ATN is money.
You know, I'm cutting heads
and harvesting eyeballs.
It's pretty
Yeah, pretty simple really.
I give the customer what he wants.
I don't think it's my place
to offer dietary advice.
You know, if they want red
meat and boiling tar, then
- buon appetito. Right?
And on a hang level, who
would you say you are?
Who am I? Um
Huh. That's a good one. (LAUGHS)
I'm a grinder. I grind 'cause I worry.
I worry all night about everything.
All the, uh, threats to
to me and to my, um
(CLEARS THROAT) my division
and my physical body. And I
I, uh, I have an excess of vigilance,
I think, and I have a
very, very high tolerance
for pain and physical discomfort.
Can I can I be frank with you?
- Can can you be discreet?
- Fuck yeah.
(CLEARS THROAT) So, the thing is, um,
with Shiv, uh
And with the votes coming up and all,
can we keep this, like,
close to our chests
- until I know my numbers?
- Oh, sure.
I think it's all fine.
It's just I (SIGHS)
I have this thing with
with her, um, which is like
Like is it is it a
bit too much? You know?
- Okay. The cartoon?
- No. Fuck the cart
That was funny. I enjoyed that. No.
She was kind of pushy
on the India tactics.
And at first, I thought
family continuity would be an upside.
- You know? But
- TOM: Mm-hmm.
She she is She is smart. But
I got plenty of ideas, okay?
I don't know if I need more ideas.
I was in need a little bit
of the political connection,
you know, but it turns
out it's fucking easy.
(CHUCKLING) It really is,
you know? And with Ebba,
and blah, blah, blah. It's
- I know everything. Okay?
- You do.
I think you I mean, you do, man.
- LUKAS: I do.
- Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
Yeah. Plus, with Shiv, there's also
You know, um
- (CHUCKLES) She's somewhat
We're a bit clickety-clickety,
if you know what I'm saying.
- Right. Like
- A little bit
I wanna fuck her, um, a a little bit.
And I think, under
Sorry to get weird, but, like,
the right circumstances
she I think she'd fuck me, too.
Is this making you uncomfortable?
- I'm sorry if it's weird, or
- No, no. We're men.
Yeah, I can't deal with
the mess of that, you know?
So then I was thinking,
"Well, if I can have
fucking anyone in the world"
(CHUCKLES) " why don't I get the guy
who put the baby inside her
instead of the baby lady?"
- LUKAS: Just
- Right.
Right. Well I could do it.
- LUKAS: 'Cause
- I could definitely, easily,
- definitely do it.
- LUKAS: I need an American
'cause I don't wanna scare the horses.
ATN being the the profit center.
Mencken likes you,
if that happens, you know? You, um
You're fucking talented. So, uh
But also, honestly
I'm not looking for a partner.
You know? I'm looking for a front man.
- Mm-hmm.
- LUKAS: 'Cause, um
we're gonna cut shit close to the bone.
We're gonna get right fucking in there.
It's gonna get nasty. Uh
So I need a pain sponge
when I'm under the
hood doing (GROWLS)
what I love, you know?
- TOM: Sure.
- That's kind of what I'm after.
- So, would that be a problem?
- Nah.
- No, man. Nah. I could do it.
- Logan Mark II.
Only this time he's
fucking sexy! (LAUGHS)
Yeah, do you want to do some shots?
- Yes. Yeah.
- Should we Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Let's get a little loose, baby.
- Okay.
- Oskar!
- Yeah?
- What?
- (SOFTLY) Motherfucker.
Wait, are you Are
Are you keeping your job?
- Am am I?
- We're going to be okay, Greg.
- We will be okay.
- (STAMMERS) Which is it?
You're gonna get castrated
on pay, like decimated.
But I think I can keep you. Okay?
- Keep an eye on. Piss man, out.
- LUKAS: Gregory! Hey!
- OSKAR GUDJOHNSON: Have a drink!
LUKAS: You want a
shot? We're doing shots.
- If we're doing shots, yeah!
- OSKAR: Of course, of course you are.
OSKAR: Yeah, you can
handle some vodka, right?
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
- From the from the motherland.
It's going to be hearty
fare, but modest rations.
Surprise, surprise.
Well, I knew you wouldn't
be hungry in this heat.
Anyway, we can fill
up on brekkie tomorrow.
That horrible place where I
think someone from Pink Floyd
did a poo in the swimming pool.
Yeah, we'll need to
be getting back, Mom.
- CAROLINE: Really?
- Stop Shiv selling our birthright.
Well, actually, to continue
on with Dad's plans and wishes.
CAROLINE: Oh, please, can we just not?
You know, I'm really
happy to have you all here,
and I I want to say
(STAMMERING) For what it's worth,
I don't want to stick
my snout in too far,
maybe I'm wondering whether
this offer from that awful man
isn't a perfect
opportunity to, you know,
say farewell, open a new chapter.
That's always been my view.
Are we gonna get an apology? For Italy?
Well, yeah. I mean, in some ways,
in a way, there Yeah.
If she thinks we should
sell, there's continuity.
It's my view. And I'm sorry
if you've been determined
to make something squalid out of it.
Is this a set up?
- Is that what this is? Shiv? You (STAMMERS)
You trying to tie Mummy's apron strings
- around Romey's nuts?
- SHIV: What?
CAROLINE: I'm going to get Peter.
I'm gonna get Peter and
his friend because
- Peter!
- His friend Jonathan and he have got a scheme
- PETER: Coming, darling.
- they want to talk to you about. Jonathan's
- KENDALL: A scheme
- Jonathan's an absolute wiz.
- that they wanna talk to us about.
- Roman, you hearing this?
- He's just been going through some
- shitty stuff recently.
- Hello. Hello, all.
- CAROLINE: This is Jonathan.
- KENDALL: Do I smell an agenda?
- Hi.
- KENDALL: Is this a fucking pitch, is that what this is?
- PETER: It might seem inappropriate
- ROMAN: No, not at all.
No, it might seem
inappropriate, but it's not,
because your mother's been
kind enough to, uh, allow me
to, uh, get you before the vultures.
Because, frankly, the
margins on this thing are just
so creamy that I honestly would
feel like a terrible shit
- Are you hearing this?
- Creamy margins.
- PETER: if I didn't give you the chance
- Ken.
- Come on!
- to come to the party.
- ROMAN: Yeah, this is really fascinating stuff.
- Pardon me. I'll be back.
- ROMAN: This is really interesting, Ken.
- CAROLINE: I can't believe how rude you are.
SHIV: He's gonna miss this.
Looks like we're in.
Without him. Should we wait?
- Hey, man.
- GREG: Hey, Ken.
Hey, so Okay, so,
I have something huge.
Dude, I'm in the center
of the fucking universe
with, like, knowledge
to to fucking, like,
take down solar systems, man.
Sure. Sure, man. That
that's that's great.
Okay, but but, um, if I
give you something incredible,
would you give me something amazing?
Yeah, sure. Like what?
Well, I'm serious, dude.
It's It is It is amazing.
Sure. That's why I'm gonna
give you something incredible.
I I would need, uh (SIGHS)
Basically, I got
Can can you guys win?
You and Rome? If
And could I quad it up? Like full quad?
Take your shot, buddy. Just
take your shot. Come on.
Buckle up. (CHUCKLES)
JONATHAN: Now, we're gonna be
skating very close to the wind.
- Yeah.
- But I'm absolutely confident
that, uh, no one can
well, in layman's
terms, "get us" on this.
- ROMAN: Right.
PETER: What the tax
wrapper around this vehicle
offers is a way of
turning these residents
Hey, it's Kendall. I'm
gonna ask you a question.
If there's any veracity
to it, don't say anything.
You understand?
Mattson is talking to other people.
- The point is our facilities
won't offer all that you dreamt of
- in a fantasy care home
- Right.
PETER: But it will afford what I call
"a really solid basic level of care."
- PETER: Not necessarily
that one would like for oneself.
- They're not gonna offer you the
- Um.
- bells and whistles
- Apologies.
- Shiv, I need to speak to you.
- SHIV: What?
- In private.
- Uh
- CAROLINE: Oh, for heaven's sake!
- ROMAN: Can I be saved as well?
- Please forgive me. Rome. Rome. Shiv. Please.
- Sorry, guys.
- SHIV: Sorry, this is a very captivating
- Oh, sorry. So terribly sorry.
KENDALL: You're gonna
wanna hear this. It's serious.
CAROLINE: Don't be too
late. For heaven's sakes.
Mom, I need to
- Jonathan, I'm so glad you came.
- CAROLINE: The fish will just be
gummy by the time you get back.
- I love gummy fish.
- SHIV: Gummy fish.
- KENDALL: Okay, this is, uh
- SHIV: What?
This is, uh (STAMMERS)
You're gonna wanna call your
You wanna confirm, but
I've just had it confirmed.
Lukas is interviewing
for an alternative US CEO.
- He's fucking you.
- Bullshit.
- How how do you
- (STAMMERING) It's confirmed.
A source, a number of contacts.
- SHIV: Uh
- I'm sorry, Shiv.
(SCOFFS) Yeah, you're sorry?
- Bullshit. Bullshit.
- Call whoever.
Like, it checks out. Lawrence,
a bunch of vibe hangs?
Have you noticed a little
cooling? Little bit?
- I wouldn't call Matsson,
- so we can figure out how we're gonna
- Already calling. Already calling.
SHIV: This is fucking
desperate shit. Yeah?
See this?
Is he not answering? That's interesting.
- Does does he normally?
- No. Rarely, actually.
- This is so fucking pathetic.
- What's pathetic?
- You are!
- KENDALL: Okay, fine.
Yeah, I I guess it
would be if it wasn't true.
Like, do do Call
Karolina. Call Karolina.
They have erased you from the
new deal announcement draft.
- It's shitty, Shiv. It's shitty.
ROMAN: Is this Fucking
actual Is this a move?
- Is this real?
- Yeah. No, it's real. Greg.
- Hundred percent.
- Fuck. So then, who instead?
A few faces. Lawrence. And Klein.
I I don't know who else.
I'll I'll know soon.
Man! Okay. Uh, I mean
With her, things are, um
Things are back?
As long as she can recalibrate, yeah.
- SHIV: (SHOUTING) Motherfucker!
- KENDALL: I think it's game on.
Fucking call me back!
KENDALL: I think it's just hard for her.
Yeah, that's very apparent.
That's that's a real thing.
- Shit.
- Yeah.
All right, well
So we just I think we
just lay it out for her.
ROMAN: Yeah.
- Hey.
- Okay. So, what do we do?
Well, did you talk to him? Lukas?
No, I don't want to talk to Lukas.
- ROMAN: Okay.
- No, I don't wanna
I don't
Don't fucking look at me.
KENDALL: What? Hey, I'm sorry.
No, you're not. Shut the fuck up.
- Okay, what can I say?
- Maybe nothing.
Um, we might get someone?
- We might get Laird or Tellis?
- SHIV: Mm-hmm?
- Just to get a
- No! Not fucking Laird.
And no not Tellis.
I fucking I hate Tellis.
I detest Tellis. He's the worst.
- KENDALL: He is the worst.
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
Call Tellis. Call Tellis.
We obviously need a read. Call Tellis.
But he's not getting even
a tiny piece of this. Yeah?
- You okay to do this?
- This is ugly, and this is bad.
- It doesn't feel great.
- KENDALL: I know.
But we're a powerful
bloc. Okay? It was sloppy.
It was careless. We're
ready to fucking kill him.
Yeah, I mean, I think
you're chasing rainbows,
to be honest. I think he has
this all sewn up. But sure.
- Ahoy, ahoy. You there?
- KENDALL: Telly?
- Telly. Thanks, man. You got my message?
TELLIS: I just saw it.
KENDALL: So, look, uh, this
is, uh, non-prejudicial.
This is friend-level briefing.
Clean of upside,
downside, or legal action.
Side effects may include a
fat fucking consultation fee.
Uh, so so, yeah, this
make sense about US CEO?
- Him changing lanes?
- TELLIS: Yeah. I mean, from his point of view,
he doesn't need the name.
He needs chops. And Shiv doesn't have
- Shiv's here.
- Fuck you, Tellis.
TELLIS: Sorry, Shiv. No,
I I just mean in terms
of the names which are being discussed,
- they they make I just
- Cut to the chase, blondie.
TELLIS: Okay, if it's you
three as a voting bloc,
and on top you have say
I have, uh, I have Ewan.
I have Paul. I have Dewi, I think.
And and then Stewy. Pretty sure.
TELLIS: I mean, as a voting bloc,
you can probably threaten to kill it.
So, yeah, you have the whip hand.
What about leadership? Yeah?
TELLIS: Yeah. You need to
present a coherent plan
to the board, including
your leadership candidate.
Uh-huh. And And
a And a combination,
or like a like a trio, a troika,
would that work or
TELLIS: Um, well um
Just fucking say it, man. Just say.
TELLIS: I think it hasn't
been great for credibility.
The Incredible Fuck Brother Bandwagon.
Who the hell calls us The
Incredible Fuck Brother Bandwagon?
- Everyone.
- ROMAN: Really?
TELLIS: You need to
look like a united front
with a coherent plan
that's not a cop-out
at the fudge factory.
One strong name for CEO,
either combined with a chair,
- or a chair with business chops.
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
TELLIS: Is what I
would say, off the record.
Thanks, Telly. Thank you.
Okay, we might be in touch
on some moves here, man.
TELLIS: Sounds good, Ken.
I think there's a few ways through this.
Call Laird. Call
anyone. Honestly, anyone.
Anyone would say we
have to go into battle
with our own version of
the future. With a king.
- SHIV: Uh
- Oh, and pray tell.
Do you have one in mind?
- Matsson's a fucking prick.
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
Right? He practically killed Dad,
dragging him over. He's
capricious. He's cold.
He doesn't understand the business.
- He's a prick.
- I would like to kill him.
And if we're gonna kill
him, we need to get real.
And we would need
I think it would be me. Right?
Dad said that it would be me.
Well, we were getting
close again, before,
and you know this, mostly,
and I was texting, and he was warm,
and he said when I was
with him late one night
that it should be
- Persuasive.
What else did he say
when no one was around?
That he was the Zodiac
Killer? That he did Tupac?
Whatever. It's fucking
I said it. It's true. And yeah.
Fuck it. Do whatever you want with that.
It's just the fucking truth.
Well, he offered it to me too, Rome.
Oh, yeah?
He he he fuckin'
promised it to me.
Promised. When I was
seven. He sat me down
at the Candy Kitchen in Bridgehampton,
and he fucking promised it to me.
Seven years old.
- Like, can you imagine?
- Yeah.
Pics or it didn't happen.
That was messed up. Like,
he shouldn't have done that.
No. He shouldn't have said that.
I'm simply saying he
said a lot of things,
and he said them to me first.
Yeah, and he said it to me last.
Do you even want it?
At the funeral, yeah? Like
You you're not that guy.
- You're not
- ROMAN: What?
KENDALL: You couldn't do the rounds.
- I mean, you kinda
- Well, what?
- KENDALL: shrank into yourself, and that
- Why?
- that
- What? 'Cause I, like, fucking
I cried a little at my father's funeral?
That means I'm totally fucked forever?
That doesn't seem right.
KENDALL: It absolutely does
not make you a bad person.
Like, maybe it makes you a good person
that you weren't snaking at the funeral.
Like, maybe maybe
you're well-adjusted,
and I'm a business psycho.
I don't know, man. It
Like, it's it's
a fucking horrible job
that clearly kills you.
So I'm just
Honestly, I'm just trying
to guide us through the years
- to some truth here, man.
- Great, yeah. Cheesy.
- I'm serious.
- Yeah, serious
fuckin' cheeseball is what you are.
He just can't say it.
He doesn't want it, but he can't say it.
And me?
I love you, Shiv. I fucking love you.
But we simply cannot walk in there
and say we're blocking his offer,
and we have this compelling vision,
and say that leading it
is you, when yesterday,
you were singing his
song. We simply can't.
And we can't say it's Roman
because he lacks heft, and
he he looks pathetic,
and he might flop.
Obviously, I want it to be me.
But I genuinely think anyone would say,
anyone, objectively, would say,
LA, my profile, experience, position,
desire, public pronouncements.
It's me.
If we want to hold on
to this company for us,
for my kids, for yours
it's me.
- Hey, Rome!
- ROMAN: Yeah?
Guess who Kendall thinks it should be?
It's gonna blow your fuckin' mind!
- ROMAN: Okay.
- KENDALL: We can find a cool structure.
Right? Like fiefdoms. Kingdoms.
If we pull off a reverse Viking,
guys? Like, it's fucking huge.
Shiv, seriously. Take
ATN, take all of news,
save the world. Rome, uh, social media,
fuck it all up again. It'll be fun.
We're not actually going
in, right? 'Cause you know
There's no bad sharks in Bim, baby.
- They're North Atlantic.
- Well, they can commute.
All the seas, in case you
didn't know this, are connected.
It's like a huge water subway
for things that wanna eat me.
Come on. Let's do it. Come on.
- ROMAN: Did he
- Yeah.
ROMAN: Okay.
Can you, uh, give us a minute?
ROMAN: Thank you.
We could fuck it. Get out.
Sell to Matsson, let
Lawrence or
some other business
school dry-cleaner
- SHIV: Mm-hmm.
- sit in the throne.
Shut up shop and give away the keys.
It can't be him, though.
But it really can't be you.
Well, okay. I hate him, but I fear you.
He would be unbearable,
and you would be
a disaster.
He'd be
It will be terrible. It will. But
I don't know, I can sort
of, unfortunately, see it.
- Whereas you?
- Matsson took me seriously.
ROMAN: Or he played
you like a big fiddle.
Like a pregnant cello.
Who do you think Dad
actually wanted to give it to?
Uh, I don't think Dad gave
a fuck about anything more
than putting one foot
in front of the other.
Yeah, I don't think he wanted
to give it to any of us.
- SHIV: Yeah.
- ROMAN: I don't know.
We could give it to him.
Yeah, we probably should.
- Unless
- ROMAN: Unless?
Unless we kill him.
- Okay. Kill him?
- SHIV: Yeah.
I like that. That's
intriguing. How would we do it?
Well, just a bit of
horseplay gone wrong.
Just a biff to the head
and a bonk on the noggin
- with a coconut.
- Wait till he goes limp.
- SHIV: Yeah.
- What goes around comes around?
Yeah. And if we kill him, we
get to go to bed. I'm tired.
But he'd be so annoying
if it went wrong.
The murdering. Like
"Did you just try to
murder me? Dude, that is
so not actually what you're meant to do,
and it is not a good thing to do."
"You guys actually just murdered me.
You guys are the worst.
- How dare you?"
- Shall we?
- Yeah.
- SHIV: Hi!
Hey. So, we were
thinking of murdering you.
- Well, don't tell him.
- But, uh, you know
It's too much prep.
Too much murder admin.
No stomach for the admin.
- So
- KENDALL: Okay.
We anoint you.
You get the bauble. Congratulations.
It's haunted and cursed
and nothing will ever go right, but
yeah, enjoy your bauble.
- SHIV: Yeah.
- ROMAN: Yeah.
Thank you.
- (LAUGHING) Look at his face.
- ROMAN: Yeah.
You can smile, bitch.
- SHIV: Yeah, there we go.
- ROMAN: There you go.
Show us those goddamn teeth.
- ROMAN: Happy Ken.
- Happy Ken?
- Happy Ken. Weird.
- Yeah, that's what happy Kendall looks like.
Ooh, if we're going to anoint him,
- he needs to complete a task.
- (LAUGHS) Yeah.
Like walk upstairs and say real quietly,
"Hey, Jonathan. I'd like
a word with you in my ass."
And say it with a spoonful
of cinnamon in your mouth.
Oh, that's been done.
That's what they made Lee Iacocca do
- when he took over at Ford.
- Rome.
- ROMAN: What?
- Meal fit for a king?
- ROMAN: Oh, yes!
- We are gonna make you a meal fit for a king. So
- Yes, sir.
- Oh, what a mighty bounty.
- All right.
- SHIV: Is there actually anything in there
for a sandwich? I'm starving.
Uh, yes! Mummy with this
pair of sprouting potatoes,
zero-percent milk, and wartime pickle,
you do spoil us so!
Something gross.
Oh, you you know,
you're gonna be a great CEO.
I really think that.
If this doesn't kill you,
which it definitely will.
Well, I'm actually starving,
and I think this is expired, so
Uh, this is a hot sauce.
- Milk.
- Oh, it's a great starter.
- Meal fit for a king ♪
- SHIV: Meal fit for a king ♪
- Meal fit for a king ♪
- SHIV: Meal fit for a king ♪
- Chuck it in, darling.
- CAROLINE: (SHUSHES) Quiet! Quiet. Quiet.
- ROMAN: Hello, Mother.
- I see you all came back.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
CAROLINE: What's going on?
- Hi. We're
- ROMAN: Meal fit for a king ♪
making a meal fit for a king.
- KENDALL: I'm the king.
CAROLINE: But can you do it quietly?
- Yes. Sorry.
- CAROLINE: 'Cause, you know, Jonathan's trying
to get to sleep upstairs.
He's trying to recover
after your rudeness.
- KENDALL: Sorry.
- You know, he came all the way
from Monaco. He has
to watch his days here.
We're we're celebrating.
We're not celebrating. We're mourning.
- We're trying to kill him.
- We're voting as a bloc
- together to keep the firm.
- Blimey O'Reilly.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, gosh.
Well, on your head be it.
Well, I had some negative news,
and so then we decided to
have a friendly conversation
about who should, uh who it would be.
Now, we have to anoint him
because that's what you do to a king.
Fine. That fucks
Christmas up, doesn't it?
Oh, don't touch that!
That's Peter's cheese!
God's sake. I made that mistake myself.
His special cheese. He
gets really boring about it.
Uh, Mother, there there
really isn't much food.
I'll tell you what. Peter doesn't
like the knobbies, so I freeze them.
- ROMAN: He doesn't like the what?
- CAROLINE: You know, the knobbies. The loaf ends.
- ROMAN: Okay.
- CAROLINE: Enjoy.
- Oh, it's a bag of frozen knobbies.
- Gets stuck in
Well, look, you know, be inventive.
Do you know, I'm actually quite glad
that you're getting along so well.
I mean, Peter will be
disappointed. But, you know,
it's nice to see you've got
something to agree about,
besides what a terrible mother I am.
SHIV: Oh, well, we'll
never disagree on that, Mom.
- ROMAN: Yeah.
- I'm sure. Nighty night.
- SHIV: We love you.
- KENDALL: Night, night.
- Yeah, I love you too.
- Love you, Mama.
KENDALL: Night, night.
I'm gonna eat his cheese.
(IN BRITISH ACCENT) Peter doesn't
like the knobbies, darling.
- KENDALL: You're a knobby.
You're a knobby. Catch it.
- KENDALL: You're a knobby!
ROMAN: Okay now, three in
a row? How did you do that?
Don't eat Peter's cheese.
Jonathan's sleeping.
Sorry, Peter.
KENDALL: Don't lick
(LAUGHING) Peter's cheese!
- Oh my God, that is
- KENDALL: Oh, God. Don't lick it.
- SHIV: so gross.
- Ah!
- KENDALL: Don't go down
- I'm so sorry, Mummy.
- Don't go down on Peter's special cheese.
- ROMAN: His delicious cheeses.
I brought that over in a hankie!
Don't go down on the special cheese.
I'm so sorry, Mummy.
I licked it all over.
- I'm so sorry, Mummy. I licked your cheese.
- KENDALL: Don't! Don't!
- I can't stop licking his cheese.
I'm so sorry. Let's keep it quiet.
- A little Tabasco.
SHIV: A lot of Tabasco.
- KENDALL: Meal fit for a king!
- SHIV: Now, this is brilliant.
- We're we're so close.
- KENDALL: Meal fit for a king!
Branston Oh, yeah!
Branston pickle? You love that.
- So close. Never got there.
- KENDALL: Meal fit for a king ♪
- Yeah, we're good.
- Meal fit for a king ♪
- KENDALL: That you're trying to kill ♪
- I think this is good.
- Meal fit for a king ♪
- No, this is No, this is a healthful tonic.
- This is really good.
ROMAN: Meal fit for a king ♪
Meal fit for a king ♪
- ROMAN: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- I'm not actually drinking that.
- I'm not drinking that.
- Meal fit for a king ♪
KENDALL: Mm, no, don't do that.
SHIV: Drink up.
This is gonna be all
right. Right? Like
- We're all right. Yeah?
- Just fucking drink it.
SHIV: Oh, God.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh.
- Kings don't wear silly hats.
- Kings wear crowns.
- I can't drink anymore.
- Well, then don't. Wear your crown, sir.
- Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- ROMAN: Wear your crown. Wear your crown.
- No, no, no, no.
- No, no, no, no.
- Then let me put it on.
- No, no, no!
- Oh, my God. Mom!
- King!
- Bye, Mom.
- Goodbye, darling.
- Thanks for the, uh, the drops.
CAROLINE: You're going to be okay.
Yeah. Bye.
KENDALL: Bye. Good to see you!
- CAROLINE: Go away.
- Fucking waste of time.
KENDALL: I mean, yeah, I think
Ewan is best just left to it.
- He'll vote the status quo.
- SHIV: I don't know if there's time, Con.
- I have them here with me. We just landed.
ROMAN: Good ol' Paul. Yeah,
he don't do that, right?
- He don't do tech.
- SHIV: All right. I'll ask.
- Stewy? Yeah, I'll go wherever whenever for Stewy.
- All right, great. Goodbye.
Paul's good. Paul's rock.
He doesn't trust tech.
- Good ol' Paul.
- Con Connor wants to know
if we're gonna make
the Great Reallocation?
Oh, I mean, do we care? Do we want to?
Are Frank and Karl gonna be there?
- 'Cause it could be
- I don't know. I don't know.
- I mean, should we just do
- Okay. We're gonna hide out at Dad's.
He's kind of losing his shit, so
- Yeah. Got it.
- Let's do it.
- To the Great Reallocation. Let's go!
- Okay. Off we go!
- Hello.
- We'll be there. Yeah.
- To the fucking antique shit show!
ROMAN: Dewi! Hold on. Hold on.
- How are you?
- Not bad.
- To my dad's.
- You got it.
CONNOR ROY: I know that
many of you have, uh,
somewhere rather important
to be this afternoon.
But the system is pretty simple.
So, as you move in a clockwise direction
around the apartment, affix
your stickers to objects you covet.
One sticker each on a
number of different articles,
or many on one prized item. Mm-hmm?
Okay, so subsequent
circulating mourners
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
- CONNOR: will then apply their stickers.
After two stickering
perambulating circuits
- We call them SPCs.
- Okay.
objects will be assigned
to the higher sticker bidder.
Where sticker claims are tied,
we move on to the tie-break
stickering perambulation circuit.
After which all unstickered
items will be pooled
and distributed in
reverse alphabetical order,
other than those stickered by
the, uh, second tier,
excuse me, uh, bereaved.
- Do I make myself clear?
- Absolutely.
- It's a good system, Con.
- All right, it's on. Go get 'em.
- Oh, that's nice.
- Game on.
- Hey, Con? Where are the medals?
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, there was a
first round. There was
a an initial round.
And who was present at that?
That was myself, solely.
- Right.
Okay. And, um, does
all of this have to go?
- I mean, you don't wanna
- WILLA FERREYRA: Well, I'd like to
get rid of pretty much everything.
I have some pretty cool stuff coming in,
like a cow print couch
- about, like, yay long.
- Wow. Great.
Con, you don't wanna keep more for
Well, we're planning on, if
when Mencken comes through,
um, we're actually, uh,
experimenting with an idea.
I have a play reading
in six to eight months,
and, uh, Con is going to Slovenia,
and I'll be working on that.
So we're gonna try, um
Yeah, you know, we're
we're, uh, really excited
how this long-distance thing can, uh,
add another dimension, you know, to
- WILLA: Yeah, add a little spice, you know?
- Yeah.
- ROMAN: That's hot.
- WILLA: As we, you know, get
deeper into the marriage.
Yeah, that's sexy. They call it
the second-week itch, I believe.
- CONNOR: Rome!
- ROMAN: Yeah?
- We're excited.
- ROMAN: Yeah.
Heard the latest about the,
uh, Wisconsin court thing?
- I'm sorry, what court thing?
- Uh, it's a hiccup.
Just a little hiccup for Jeryd, I think.
- Okay.
- SHIV: Yeah. I mean,
maybe Mencken might not make it.
And so maybe you might get to keep him
- all to yourself, huh?
- Great.
ROMAN: I think I'm gonna
take this letter-opener.
What the fuck is this?
Virtual dinner with Pop.
What? When is this from?
CONNOR: I don't know how many weeks ago.
here we go. Gore. Dole.
- Bush. Mike D.
- SHIV: Is he doing the
Wait, the losers list?
- Mondale. Carter.
- A Ford not a Lincoln for me.
Hippie George, Humphrey, St. Barry.
Dick the Bad. Willkie, Landon, Hoover,
Al Smith of the Vatican,
David, Cox, Hughes, Taft, Bryan.
Martin Van Buren, White,
Ol' Tippecanoe, Clay.
Hey, JQA
- How many elections
- LOGAN: How many elections
- have you lost today?
- have you lost today?
- FRANK VERNON: Very good.
Clinton the first
- but not the worst.
- ROMAN AND SHIV: But not the worst.
Pinckney twice. Jefferson,
Adams, all very nice.
I can't believe he could still do that.
- LOGAN: All right. Who's next? Gerri?
- FRANK: Yeah.
- LOGAN: Do the limerick. Gerri, do the limerick.
- GERRI KELLMAN: Okay. Okay.
"Much dearer to me than my treasure,"
the heiress declared, is my leisure.
For then I can screw
the whole Harvard crew.
They're slow, but that
lengthens the pleasure."
- LOGAN: Connor!
- CONNOR: All right, okay, okay.
I give you, ladies and gentlemen,
"I Am a Little Teapot."
- GERRI: Oh, good.
- FRANK: Okay.
In the manner of Mr. Logan Roy.
- I am a little teapot. Fuck off!
Short and stout. What
did you fucking call me?
Here's my handle.
Here's my fucking spout.
When I get steamed up,
you can hear me shout!
Frank Vernon is a moron.
Karl Muller is a kraut.
- This is it's incredible.
CONNOR: Pops did not like it.
- SHIV: That was good.
Karl, come on. Sing it. Sing it.
- GERRI: Yeah, Karl, come on.
- LOGAN: I want a copy of this. Sing it.
- KARL MULLER: There's naught but care on every han' ♪
- LOGAN: I'd like to have it
GERRI: I got it, I got it.
In every hour that passes, O ♪
What signifies the life o' man ♪
And t'were not for the lassies, O ♪
- LOGAN: You're murdering it, Karl.
- KARL: Green grow the rashes, O ♪
- Green grow the rashes, O ♪
The sweetest hours that e'er I spend ♪
Are spent among the lasses, O ♪
LOGAN: Kerry, listen. He's
murdering it. He's murdering it.
KARL: The war'ly
race may riches chase ♪
And riches still may fly them, O ♪
And even though they catch 'em fast ♪
Their hearts can ne'er enjoy them, O ♪
grow the rashes, O ♪
Green grow the rashes, O ♪
The sweetest hours
that e'er I spent ♪
Were spent among the lasses, O ♪
- Hey.
- SHIV: Hey!
Doing okay?
You're not gonna get canned?
Uh, I don't Hmm. I
don't I don't think so.
Good luck.
Oh, no.
No, no. No, that's all fucked.
- Yeah?
- SHIV: Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, Matsson was just
stringing me along, or
he switched lanes, but
you know, it's
Either way, it's not gonna be me.
- Wow.
- SHIV: Yeah.
Whoa! Okay. I Are you sure?
I mean, is that How
What did Is that even true?
Yeah. Greg.
- SHIV: Yeah.
- Oh, wow.
Man. Oh, man. Man,
oh, man. What a thing.
- Hmm.
- TOM: That's, uh
That's terrible. So
so, like, who do
Who do you think he would
I mean, who would it be? Like
Uh, I don't know. Like a
tech pal, big hitter. Lawrence, maybe?
- Fuck.
- SHIV: Yeah.
Well, fuck him.
Yeah. Well, maybe, uh,
maybe you should vote
it through, you know,
if it's all set. I don't know.
- What?
- Yeah? No, no. I just
No, I was just thinking if it was
No, no. Wow.
Yeah, Shiv, you should probably know.
It's me.
It's you?
Yeah, you might as well know. I mean
- SHIV: Bullshit.
- You're gonna find I mean,
you're gonna find out. It's gonna be
I think, uh
Yeah. And I You know,
maybe maybe I wonder if you
If it is an idea that you should
Oh, fuck you. Really?
(LAUGHING) Fuck you.
- Yeah.
- SHIV: What?
Jesus, you're a fucking
Like, he went for a, uh,
an empty fucking suit?
Oh, yeah. "Maybe, oh, actually,
you should vote it through,
hey, yeah, maybe."
Come on. I know you.
Like you wouldn't if it
was the other way around?
You know what? Good luck,
yeah? Good luck, motherfucker.
'Cause we have the numbers, yeah?
Good fucking luck.
- It's Tom.
- What?
SHIV: It's fucking Tom.
- ROMAN: Tom?
- Yeah, let's go.
- Let's fucking go.
- Oh man.
Let's run our numbers. Let's go.
ROMAN: Fucked by the dry cleaner. Wow.
Hey, Greg, can I have a word?
- GREG: Yeah?
- A word, yeah? Just just just right now.
Do you mind? Corporate matter, tactical.
- Hi, Tom. See you.
- Hey.
Yeah, just in here.
- GREG: In the bathroom?
- TOM: Sure.
- GREG: Yeah.
- TOM: Come on.
Did you tell?
- What?
- Did you fucking tell?
Huh? You bastard.
I was this close. And
now, they have a chance
to fucking pull their
fucking opposition together,
- you fucking prick.
- No, look. I don't think I (STAMMERS)
You fucking you fucking little prick.
You fucking little piece of shit.
Fuck you.
Problem. Big fucking problem.
All right, wake up, zombies!
Time to activate. Come on!
Phones! I wanna see some fucking phones!
And where's Frank? We
get a hold of Frank?
Call Frank. Call Frank.
Make sure he's locked in.
- LUKAS: Okay. Where's Ebba?
- EBBA: Yeah?
- Ebba!
- Stewy?
- Yeah, wobble.
- He's a wobbly fucking bastard.
- Okay.
Okay. Well, let's go get
him. Let's fuck him up.
ROMAN: Okay.
Silence in the courtyard.
- Silence in the street.
The biggest fool in England
is just about to speak.
ROMAN: I'm gonna go to my office.
- KENDALL: All right.
- SHIV: Okay.
Uh, Claire, do I have any messages?
- Hey. So
- Hey.
- How you doing?
- Mm-hmm.
You'll be able to, uh, block, you think?
Great. I think that's great.
A chance to change the culture,
the backstabbing, a new era.
And I was wondering, um
just between us, and before,
you know, things blow up,
maybe part of that change
is getting rid of Hugo?
- Just wanted to plant the seed.
- That's all.
- Uh-huh?
- Hi.
- Hey.
(CLAPPING) Good morning. Morning.
- Congrats.
- Yeah, thanks.
Well, looks like they've heard
their testicles might be on fire.
- KENDALL: Yeah.
- I haven't seen Frank run like that ever.
Okay. Can we help prepare the ground?
SHIV: Well, it's gonna be
a fairly explosive megafuck.
So, yeah, the GoJo deal is gonna die.
Frank maybe pulls the vote,
or they push and get humiliated?
So, yeah.
Big, big day on the,
uh, old salami line, huh?
Yeah, it sure is. Yeah.
I'll get you the materials.
- Okay.
- Uh
Details on the financing
for for background for
for the journal piece. Um
- Uh, yeah. It's, uh
- Yeah. Whatever.
It's not a magic chair. Yeah, go ahead.
- KENDALL: Okay. Um
Hey, hey, hey. How we looking?
- Hey, dude. We have it.
- HUGO: Hello? Yeah,
Okay? We have it.
But do we have you?
We've got you, right?
Well, I do have certain
questions about riding
the vegetable train. But, like
I am a selfish person. So
SHIV: Uh-huh. Yeah.
Do we invite the Stewpot in?
You know, get him
inside. Non-Exec Chair.
Fucking activist backtivist.
Chair? Guys? I like weird
sex. I like bad drugs.
I'm a very complicated individual.
Bullshit. Bullshit.
You like pancakes and waffles
and you kiss guys on Molly.
You're not the heart of darkness.
You're you're a grilled
cheese with a sucked dick.
Let us clean you up.
STEWY HOSSEINI: Well, why don't
we just think about it, huh?
- Uh-huh.
- STEWY: And, Shiv.
You know, I do think if we give Sandi
a little tug, she might
be somewhat foldable?
Okay, great. Perfect. Let's go.
And you did a fucking good one, man.
STEWY: Chairman Stewpot.
I can I'm into that.
Are you into that, Shiv?
Um, these are my colleagues, um
- Hey, what's she doing in?
- Shall we?
KENDALL: Hmm? Who?
ROMAN: Gerri. What's she doing here?
Uh I don't know, I think I think
we're paying her off big-time.
So it's not a lock-out, right?
ROMAN: I don't I don't wanna see her.
- Should she even be around?
- Uh, yeah. Sure.
Let's let's let's fuck her out.
Yeah, I don't think I
really wanna see anyone.
You okay?
Yeah, I think I'm gonna call in.
I think I'm gonna call in the vote.
I think I'm gonna
Yeah. I don't wanna
Yeah, I I I I
think, man, it's, um
- People kinda know you're here.
- ROMAN: Mm.
KENDALL: You know, show of force.
- Are you okay?
Uh-huh. Yeah, it looks
better than I thought.
Looks so much better. (LAUGHS)
Uh-huh. Yeah, it does. It does.
Yeah. I feel like, people
are gonna be like
why isn't it me? You know, like
Sure. I mean, it could
have been you, Rome.
Could easily have been you.
It's just It's just marginal
- presentation shit.
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
You'll have something shit-hot.
- Socials, right?
- Right?
No, but it's just, you
know, just the optics.
It's dumb, but the stitches.
They're good stitches.
(LAUGHING) They're good.
This is 90 percent about the visuals.
ROMAN: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
And I mean, just if, like,
people think that I, like, pussied out,
then I don't think that
I should, you know
- Yeah?
- ROMAN: Yeah, I can't.
No, I can't. 'Cause, you
know. Like, I look okay.
looks fine. So, you know
It's fucking stupid, but
Like, why isn't it me?
All right. (GROANS)
Oh, Jesus! Fuck. (SOBS)
Oh, fuck!
Oh, you (SOBS)
Oh, you fucking bastard!
- Oh, you shit!
- I love you, man.
I fucking hate you.
- We'll be okay, right?
- ROMAN: Shit, it popped.
- We're gonna do good.
Teamwork makes the
dream work. (SNIFFLES)
- It could have been you.
- (SOBS)
- DEWI SWANN: It's great to see you.
- It's great to see you. Yeah.
Here we go.
Sandi, how's it going?
Simon, how are you?
Good to see you. Thanks for being here.
- Ewan. New York's finest?
- Absolutely.
- Appreciate it.
- FRANK: All right.
Let's call this meeting to order.
I note that all the
directors are present.
Uh, the agenda and the information packs
have been circulated and I
would like to take them as read.
We have a revised offer to
consider from the GoJo board,
and a lot of work has been
done to get us to a position
where we're ready to
sign if the board agrees.
As you also, of course, are aware,
we will be hearing from our co-CEOs
about strategic alternatives.
Uh, we've aired the issues
and heard from our advisors
on the GoJo proposal
in the previous session.
So now, I'd like to hand
the floor to Kendall.
Yeah, the the GoJo offer.
(SIGHS) Uh, yeah, this this deal
The deal is a bad deal.
The GoJo offer.
We were proud to land it, me and Rome.
Uh, we know it inside
out, but it's a bad deal.
And if you want it to go through,
you'll have to fire me
and find someone else
to take it through, yeah?
I think you have your packs here
with the structural arguments
and the financing options.
And look, it's a nice thick pack.
We've knocked it out of the park.
And, uh, GoJo, Matsson is flailing.
We know that.
So, look. Look. We know each other.
I've spoken to you all.
I like and respect every one of you,
but, uh, no one's gonna have
their mind changed in here.
So I suggest we move to the vote.
Kill this, excuse me, GoJo bullshit.
And, you know, let's eat their lunch.
- Uh, Ken?
- What? You want me to read it out?
For due process? Come
on, we have the votes.
I would rather Simon.
Let's do it for my dad, guys. Yeah?
Would anyone object to
moving directly to a vote?
- Uh, very well.
So, yes, I think it's a good deal.
I can't in good conscience as chair
vote any other way.
- Sonya?
- Yes.
- Diane?
- Yes.
- FRANK: Kendall?
- You know my vote. No.
No to GoJo.
Yes. And yes.
We want out.
DEWI: No, I'm against.
First, do no harm.
Team Ken, baby. I'm a no.
FRANK: Roman?
Uh, nope.
That's fucking right.
This is Just gotta
Just give me a sec.
- FRANK: Shiv?
- KENDALL: Shiv?
It's all good. It's all good.
Excuse me, I'll be right back.
Just a moment, please.
FRANK: With Paul's vote,
it's now six to six.
- SANDI FURNESS: Oh my God. Ugh.
- KARL: Six to six.
- I just Uh
You okay? We we have it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- We have it. Look, look, look.
We have it.
All right? We have it.
Are are you scared?
- (SCOFFS) I'm not scared.
- KENDALL: Are you sick?
No, I'm not scared.
Are you are you good?
SHIV: Yeah, I just Can
I have a moment, please?
Just fuck off. I just need a moment.
- I wanna think.
- Okay.
Uh, think about what?
Whether you want us to keep the company,
or hand it over to Tom
and that piece of shit
who killed our dad?
Uh, I might have changed my mind.
What the fuck?
I'm good for this company.
I'm I'm good for us.
You know, we all vote, we keep control.
We don't, then
everything's over, forever.
- Uh-huh.
- KENDALL: Here's the thing.
I am like a cog built
to fit only one machine.
Like, if you don't let me do this
I mean, it it's the
one thing I know how to do.
Well, it's not all about you.
- I know.
- Yeah, you are not the most important one.
KENDALL: I I don't think I am.
Yes, you do. You do, you
do. You fucking do. You do.
But, Shiv, honestly,
it's so fucking crazy
not to just let me now.
I mean, it it
it it's it's stupid.
We we all get something here.
I mean, you're voting against yourself.
- You realize that?
- Uh. Mm.
- Mm.
- KENDALL: Shiv. Shiv, listen.
Please. I beg you. Listen.
I can do this.
I don't think you'd be good at it.
What? I don't I
don't even believe you.
- I don't believe you.
- SHIV: I don't.
I don't think that you
would be good at this.
KENDALL: For fuck's sake, Shiv!
(MUFFLED) I mean, for fuck's sake.
What the fuck is going on?
It's it's it's six to six
and we don't have Shiv's vote.
This doesn't make, like,
logic. Where's the logic?
No, I just don't think
you'd be good at it.
I feel like
if I don't get to do this
I I I feel like
that's it. Like, I might I might
Uh, like I I might die.
Shiv, can we go in that
room? Can you just vote?
Please. Please.
You can't be CEO.
You can't because you killed someone.
What do you But Which?
- SHIV: What?
- Wait, what do you mean "which"?
What? Like, what Like,
you've killed so many people
you forgot which one?
That's that's not an issue.
That didn't happen.
- Uh, what?
- ROMAN: Wait, it didn't? As in what?
It it's just a thing I said.
It's a thing I said. I made it up.
- You made it up?
- KENDALL: Yeah. I
I I It was a
difficult time for us,
and I think I, you know, whatever,
mussed up something from nothing
because I I just I wanted
for us all to bond
at a difficult moment.
- Wait, it was a move?
- Okay?
No, not There was a kid.
There was that kid, but
- So there was a kid?
- I had, like, a toke and a beer and not
I didn't even get in
the car. It's not
- Hold on. What?
- The fuck?
KENDALL: I felt bad and,
uh, I false-memoried it.
Like, I'm I'm totally
clean. I can do this.
Wait. Did it happen
or did it not happen?
It did not happen.
- KENDALL: It did not happen. I wasn't even there.
It did not happen.
Fucking vote for me.
Just, plea Vote for me.
Shiv, vote for me.
- No.
- KENDALL: Shiv, don't do this. You can't do this, Shiv!
- No. No.
- Absolutely not, man. Absolutely not.
- No.
- No Why?
- KENDALL: Well, just
I love you. I Really, I love you,
but I cannot fucking stomach you.
KENDALL: This is fucking disgusting.
- It's disgusting.
- SHIV: It's disgusting?
KENDALL: You're disgusting!
You're fucking heartless!
- (LAUGHING) What?
- KENDALL: It's fucking nuts!
It doesn't even make any sense.
- I'm the eldest boy!
- KENDALL: I am the eldest boy!
- You're not.
And, you know, it
this it mattered to him.
He wanted this to go on.
Well, I mean, she's
the bloodline, though.
I'm the I'm the bloodline.
We're all the fucking bloodline.
No, I just mean if you're
gonna play that card,
Dad's view was yours weren't real.
What the fuck did you just say?
- ROMAN: Well, just not "real" real.
- Rome.
Well, that's just what Dad said.
I'm just saying what Dad said.
Well, don't say it, you fucking cuck.
They are a pair of randos.
One is a buy-in.
The other is half Rava, half
some filing-cabinet guy, right?
SHIV: What the fuck? Let go of him!
- KENDALL: The fuck did you say?
- SHIV: The fuck are you doing?
- The fuck did you say?
- SHIV: Stop! Fuck's sake.
- ROMAN: You have no kids.
Shiv, no, don't do this!
Shiv, don't do this.
- ROMAN: Okay, hold on a second.
- Get the fuck off me!
- She's fucking pregnant, you piece of shit.
- Get off me.
- SHIV: Jesus Christ!
SHIV: Are you fucking kidding me?
KENDALL: Shiv, no! Wait. Shiv, wait!
- Fuck you.
- Can you just fucking leave her?
SHIV: Fucking child.
- Let's hit let's hit Frank.
Let's offer Frank. We
can We can still do this.
Bullshit, man. Come on,
it's fucking nothing. Stop.
No, there's something
here. There's an angle.
ROMAN: No, no. It's fuck all, man.
It's bits of glue and broken shows,
fucking phony news. Fucking
Come on.
We have this. We can still do this, man.
Oh my God. Man, it's nothing.
Okay? It's just nothing.
It's fucking nothing. Stop it!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Yeah. Hey, we are bullshit.
- We are not bullshit.
- We are bullshit.
You are bullshit. You're
fucking bullshit, man.
I'm fucking bullshit. She's bullshit.
It's all fucking nothing, man.
I'm telling you this
because I I know it, okay?
We're nothing.
KENDALL: Hey. So, uh, pardon me.
Um, where are we?
- FRANK: Ken.
- KENDALL: I was thinking maybe we
that we should maybe,
uh, adjourn the meeting
and and re uh, re
- Uh
- Ken. Ken, it's done.
We sell to GoJo. You don't have it.
- We're good.
- Okay.
So, what are you
thinking? Golden Parachute?
Or one last rodeo?
- Go on.
- What do you think?
I'm thinking we shoulda slit
his throat in the cradle.
Well, goes without saying.
- Hi, Stewy.
- I'm thrilled for you.
- I appreciate it.
- Let's fucking do it.
- Please, let's talk.
- All right.
Hey, man. Great one.
The losers never triumph.
I was always hoping, you
know? So, uh, let's chat.
- I got you.
- Where's Karolina?
- Karolina?
- TOM: Mm-hmm.
She's, um
- BOARD MEMBER 1: Congratulations, Tom.
- Hey, buddy. Thank you.
I just I just wanted to say congrats.
- Thanks.
- And yeah. So
- Tom. Just phenomenal.
- Hey. Pastures new, right?
- Yes, it is.
- This is it.
Yeah, so how's it all looking?
- Plans? Planning?
- Yeah, I wanna talk to Gerri.
Yeah, Gerri gets it. She's
not afraid of the dark.
And who else?
Frank, dead. Karl, dead.
I really don't need those
two old cunts on my shoulder.
You fucked it, man. Quad
man. Matsson hates you.
Wants a clean-out.
You are a fucking piece of shit.
But I got you. I got
just enough capital.
I got you.
(SIGHS) Okay, all right. Hey, guys.
- Hi.
- KARL: Good, so we're good to go?
Fine. Seems to be a little bit
of a communication breakdown.
I don't mind signing the fucking thing.
- Good.
- I don't need to be talked into that. That's fine.
We need you to come in right now
- to complete this ceremony.
- I just need
Bring me the piece of
paper and I'll sign it.
- I just don't wanna be in the room with the guy.
- We're gonna do it at the desk.
I have to be in the room
with him to sign the thing?
- FRANK: This is being a CEO.
- We take one quick photo, and you're done.
And the photo op, I already told
you, I'm not taking a fucking photo.
Let's take Okay. Let's do
it. No, no. Let's fucking do it.
Take all the fucking pictures you want.
See me leaving. Big day.
Happy, happy. Good stuff. Good stuff.
- FRANK: Great.
- ROMAN: How are ya? Great.
HUGO: Okay, here we go. Thank you.
- Okay.
LUKAS: Okay. Quick, quick.
- Good.
Uh, what's the return
policy on this, by the way?
- Congratulations.
- HUGO: Thank you. Thank you.
- LUKAS: Love you, Roman.
- KARL: Thank you, man.
HUGO: Okay, uh, let's get
Frank and Karl in here.
- Group photo, GoJo team.
- Absolutely. Come on.
Frank and Karl. Okay?
Guys, get closer together, please.
- Closer together. Good smile. Wonderful. One, two, three.
HUGO: This is the new team. All right.
Jesus and his disciples.
- Even Judas is in the room.
- OSKAR: Oh, there we go.
- LUKAS: There we go.
- TOM: Why not just a GoJo one?
HUGO: Yeah, let's take
a GoJo. GoJo photo.
Okay. Just the three of you. Okay.
- OSKAR: Three musketeers.
- HUGO: There you go! One, two, three.
- Wonderful.
- Okay.
- HUGO: Let's just do a single.
- EBBA: Okay, Lukas.
- Single on Matsson. Okay.
- Yeah.
Hey, I got a car in
20, if you wanna join.
- HUGO: All right. Thank you. Thank you.
- Okay. Let's party.
- Bubbly! Bubbly!
- Let's party.
LUKAS: Why isn't that
champagne already out?
Agadoo, doo, doo ♪
Daka daka daka da ♪
Agadoo, doo, doo ♪
- Congratulations.
- Oh, no. No, no.
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