Super Mario World (1991) s01e10 Episode Script
Rock TV
Super Mario, Super Mario World.
Super Mario World, it's
a block from your past.
It's Super Mario World,
you've got to move fast.
Mario and Luigi are doing what they can.
Goshi and the princess,
I'd live in there my pair.
Super Mario World.
Super Mario World, it's
a blast from the past.
And Super Mario World, it's a blast.
Hmm, I haven't done anything
really rotten in a long time.
Not since yesterday.
There must be some truly, totally
depraved, evil, insidious scheme
I can use to take advantage
of those stupid caves.
people.
Let me think.
What did I learn in the real world?
What's the one thing most
likely to rot people's minds
and reduce their brains
to mashed potatoes?
I remember now?
Television!
But there's no TV here in the Stone Age.
It hasn't been invented yet.
Or has it!
Looky Boo! Come see!
Do my eyes deceive me,
or is that the biggest television
set I ever saw in my life?
But there's nothing on.
Maybe they forgot to plug it in.
Hurry it up there.
I gotta go on right away.
Hi, everybody.
I'm Robbie Rockwell, and I'm here
today to tell you about Rock TV.
Yay!
Oh, yeah!
Rock TV?
Hey man, what that?
You say, what that?
I'm glad you asked.
On Rock TV, friends, you can watch
all kinds of wonderful shows.
Great shows like Mr.
Cooper's neighborhood.
Oh, finabunga!
We've got the World Dinosaur
Wrestling Federation.
Yay!
Yay!
Hey!
Get on.
Get on.
I hate him, get up.
Okay, okay.
Next time we'll have the real thing.
How about this?
Totally hip, rock, rock TV.
Far out. Dino, Bunga.
With stars like Vanilla Ice Age.
Ice Age, baby.
Now, here's the really big news.
You can enjoy all this on your
very own rock TV in your very own cave.
Yay!
Yay!
Yo-ho!
How do we get one?
More important.
How much?
You ask how?
You ask how much.
You can own your own cupisonic rock TV,
and it's all yours for
a measly ten coins down.
And a coin a minute.
Ten coins down.
That's cheap.
But a coin a coin a minute.
a minute, Mario? That's
going to end up fast.
Remember the trouble we got into that
speak to Santa Hotline back in Brooklyn?
Phone bill.
Amount you, $1,295.
And 31 cents.
Hey, that was back when we
had to work for a living.
Now all we have to do is bash a few
blocks and rake in the buccaroos.
Next.
Hey, Mario.
How come his lips aren't
moving when he talks?
Maybe he's been watching
too many cartoons.
Who cares?
I want my rock TV.
Ten clams. I mean coins.
Clams, coins, old socks.
We're giving them away.
Here's your rock TV,
sir. Have a nice day.
Uh, where's the remote?
You'll have to get on the waiting list.
It'll be a few thousand years.
In the meantime, just add
money, kick back, and enjoy.
Next.
Well, count me out.
Yoshi and I are going for a nature walk.
But
Hey, maybe we'll see you on PBS.
Whoa!
And now it's time for everybody's
famous Cooperobic show, Cooper Said.
All right, everybody.
Cooper says, up on your feet, it's
time to trim all that ugly fat.
No.
Goophe says, jump up and down
and kick your legs around.
Come on, you lazy K potatoes.
Cooper says, cluck like a chick-a-dactyl.
Oh, butch-a-bac-da-dha
- dha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Don't you love it?
Hey, and now here's a real special game.
Cooper wants everybody to play.
Listen up real good.
Hey, our TV's broken.
Maybe we've got to add coins!
Cooper says, everybody
go to the Dome Castle
and get Mario and Luigi
and bring them to me.
Nah, worthless Cooper junk.
What's that cell?
What's that cell?
Cave people carrying clubs.
You're storming the castle.
Get Mario, get Perwishing.
Ah, my fine, flushing fools,
you are two lucky plumbers.
You're going to be TV stars.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Thanks a lot, friends.
TV stars? What's the show?
All-star prehistoric tag team wrestling.
Oh!
Welcome to all-historic
tag team wrestling.
All-star prehistoric wrestling.
A splendid, gladiatorial spectacle.
A fabulous fight to the finish.
In this corner, in the
pink and purple trucks
with the orange ruffles, weighing
in at 90,000 pounds each.
The totally terrible, two-sum,
titanic thunderous thumping, fraddling,
towering, thrusting, thrusting,
top-heavy, top notch, top flight, tip
toe, tip, tip, tip top, tip, tip
Top this, turkey mouth!
Wait, I'm just about to finish.
Finish big, big finish.
In this corner, the Tyranosaurus Twins!
A totally terrific twosome!
A terrifying punishment!
Yay!
Ah, aye!
Thank you! Thank you!
And in this corner, from the
bucolic borough of Brooklyn,
in that rollicking real world,
these two fat, fumbling,
faucet, fixing freaks,
those forever foolish,
fur-brain, fission,
fishet?
A foolish, flabby, fudgy dick!
Yeah!
Ladies and gentlemen!
The mindless Mario brothers!
Well?
Oh!
Ooh!
Leapin' and lasagna!
Luigi! Look at the size of this guy.
It's all right.
He wants to shake hands.
He wants to be friends!
Hey, let's be pals.
You're my kind of reptile!
Oh!
Wooji! What's out?
Oh!
Yie!
Oh!
Oh!
Ah!
ha!
I don't know how these guys do it on TV
without getting hurt.
I've bruised everywhere!
I'm bruised everywhere.
Twice!
Oh!
This is terrible!
Yoshi, we've got to save them.
But how?
If only we could find a
feather in one of those blocks.
But how can I get up there?
Quick! Princess jump on Yoshi!
Come on!
Comey!
Reach
for the top of the side. Reach!
Yeah!
More!
Oh,
yeah, more! Right now
it's too long!
Time!
Ready, ready, ready to go!
Ready for a DKO!
Yeah!
Ready, ready, ready to go!
Oh, I'm right the tail!
I'm a dinosaur!
Big old tail!
What?
Oh, and the dinosaur!
Yay!
Hey!
Oh, you see hungry.
Uh-uh.
Ugh.
Oh.
Hey, dumb dino duke.
No eat my rock TV.
Oh.
Sorry, and it tastes so good.
Mmm, but filling inside.
Ugh, goggle!
Mmm!
Mm-hmm!
Big lunch!
Nice going, Princess!
Don't mention it, Mario. Thanks to us,
Cupa finally gave everybody
a show worth watching.
It's not over yet!
It's not over yet!
Time out!
Season the Six!
Stop!
Oh, no!
Ah!
Oh, no!
You can't
Oh, I'm sorry.
You stay!
Yoshi eat down, get you out, okay?
You think maybe you could
eat a little faster.
Super Mario World, it's
a block from your past.
It's Super Mario World,
you've got to move fast.
Mario and Luigi are doing what they can.
Goshi and the princess,
I'd live in there my pair.
Super Mario World.
Super Mario World, it's
a blast from the past.
And Super Mario World, it's a blast.
Hmm, I haven't done anything
really rotten in a long time.
Not since yesterday.
There must be some truly, totally
depraved, evil, insidious scheme
I can use to take advantage
of those stupid caves.
people.
Let me think.
What did I learn in the real world?
What's the one thing most
likely to rot people's minds
and reduce their brains
to mashed potatoes?
I remember now?
Television!
But there's no TV here in the Stone Age.
It hasn't been invented yet.
Or has it!
Looky Boo! Come see!
Do my eyes deceive me,
or is that the biggest television
set I ever saw in my life?
But there's nothing on.
Maybe they forgot to plug it in.
Hurry it up there.
I gotta go on right away.
Hi, everybody.
I'm Robbie Rockwell, and I'm here
today to tell you about Rock TV.
Yay!
Oh, yeah!
Rock TV?
Hey man, what that?
You say, what that?
I'm glad you asked.
On Rock TV, friends, you can watch
all kinds of wonderful shows.
Great shows like Mr.
Cooper's neighborhood.
Oh, finabunga!
We've got the World Dinosaur
Wrestling Federation.
Yay!
Yay!
Hey!
Get on.
Get on.
I hate him, get up.
Okay, okay.
Next time we'll have the real thing.
How about this?
Totally hip, rock, rock TV.
Far out. Dino, Bunga.
With stars like Vanilla Ice Age.
Ice Age, baby.
Now, here's the really big news.
You can enjoy all this on your
very own rock TV in your very own cave.
Yay!
Yay!
Yo-ho!
How do we get one?
More important.
How much?
You ask how?
You ask how much.
You can own your own cupisonic rock TV,
and it's all yours for
a measly ten coins down.
And a coin a minute.
Ten coins down.
That's cheap.
But a coin a coin a minute.
a minute, Mario? That's
going to end up fast.
Remember the trouble we got into that
speak to Santa Hotline back in Brooklyn?
Phone bill.
Amount you, $1,295.
And 31 cents.
Hey, that was back when we
had to work for a living.
Now all we have to do is bash a few
blocks and rake in the buccaroos.
Next.
Hey, Mario.
How come his lips aren't
moving when he talks?
Maybe he's been watching
too many cartoons.
Who cares?
I want my rock TV.
Ten clams. I mean coins.
Clams, coins, old socks.
We're giving them away.
Here's your rock TV,
sir. Have a nice day.
Uh, where's the remote?
You'll have to get on the waiting list.
It'll be a few thousand years.
In the meantime, just add
money, kick back, and enjoy.
Next.
Well, count me out.
Yoshi and I are going for a nature walk.
But
Hey, maybe we'll see you on PBS.
Whoa!
And now it's time for everybody's
famous Cooperobic show, Cooper Said.
All right, everybody.
Cooper says, up on your feet, it's
time to trim all that ugly fat.
No.
Goophe says, jump up and down
and kick your legs around.
Come on, you lazy K potatoes.
Cooper says, cluck like a chick-a-dactyl.
Oh, butch-a-bac-da-dha
- dha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Don't you love it?
Hey, and now here's a real special game.
Cooper wants everybody to play.
Listen up real good.
Hey, our TV's broken.
Maybe we've got to add coins!
Cooper says, everybody
go to the Dome Castle
and get Mario and Luigi
and bring them to me.
Nah, worthless Cooper junk.
What's that cell?
What's that cell?
Cave people carrying clubs.
You're storming the castle.
Get Mario, get Perwishing.
Ah, my fine, flushing fools,
you are two lucky plumbers.
You're going to be TV stars.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Thanks a lot, friends.
TV stars? What's the show?
All-star prehistoric tag team wrestling.
Oh!
Welcome to all-historic
tag team wrestling.
All-star prehistoric wrestling.
A splendid, gladiatorial spectacle.
A fabulous fight to the finish.
In this corner, in the
pink and purple trucks
with the orange ruffles, weighing
in at 90,000 pounds each.
The totally terrible, two-sum,
titanic thunderous thumping, fraddling,
towering, thrusting, thrusting,
top-heavy, top notch, top flight, tip
toe, tip, tip, tip top, tip, tip
Top this, turkey mouth!
Wait, I'm just about to finish.
Finish big, big finish.
In this corner, the Tyranosaurus Twins!
A totally terrific twosome!
A terrifying punishment!
Yay!
Ah, aye!
Thank you! Thank you!
And in this corner, from the
bucolic borough of Brooklyn,
in that rollicking real world,
these two fat, fumbling,
faucet, fixing freaks,
those forever foolish,
fur-brain, fission,
fishet?
A foolish, flabby, fudgy dick!
Yeah!
Ladies and gentlemen!
The mindless Mario brothers!
Well?
Oh!
Ooh!
Leapin' and lasagna!
Luigi! Look at the size of this guy.
It's all right.
He wants to shake hands.
He wants to be friends!
Hey, let's be pals.
You're my kind of reptile!
Oh!
Wooji! What's out?
Oh!
Yie!
Oh!
Oh!
Ah!
ha!
I don't know how these guys do it on TV
without getting hurt.
I've bruised everywhere!
I'm bruised everywhere.
Twice!
Oh!
This is terrible!
Yoshi, we've got to save them.
But how?
If only we could find a
feather in one of those blocks.
But how can I get up there?
Quick! Princess jump on Yoshi!
Come on!
Comey!
Reach
for the top of the side. Reach!
Yeah!
More!
Oh,
yeah, more! Right now
it's too long!
Time!
Ready, ready, ready to go!
Ready for a DKO!
Yeah!
Ready, ready, ready to go!
Oh, I'm right the tail!
I'm a dinosaur!
Big old tail!
What?
Oh, and the dinosaur!
Yay!
Hey!
Oh, you see hungry.
Uh-uh.
Ugh.
Oh.
Hey, dumb dino duke.
No eat my rock TV.
Oh.
Sorry, and it tastes so good.
Mmm, but filling inside.
Ugh, goggle!
Mmm!
Mm-hmm!
Big lunch!
Nice going, Princess!
Don't mention it, Mario. Thanks to us,
Cupa finally gave everybody
a show worth watching.
It's not over yet!
It's not over yet!
Time out!
Season the Six!
Stop!
Oh, no!
Ah!
Oh, no!
You can't
Oh, I'm sorry.
You stay!
Yoshi eat down, get you out, okay?
You think maybe you could
eat a little faster.