SuperMansion (2015) s03e15 Episode Script
Back to the Island
[sirens wailing.]
We got a jumper! [dramatic music.]
Get a net out here now! Rex: That won't be necessary, officer.
The League of Freedom is here.
What do we got? His wife called it in.
Served him with divorce papers today.
Another human female has reached enlightenment.
Where is your heroic wife? I would celebrate with her over vessels of wine.
- Okay, let's just turn that off.
- You sure the League of work, Rex? Well, this might not be within my purview, but the League of Freedom is a big team.
- You can do it.
You got this.
- Fantastic.
Aah! Bog-Man, you smell like shit! What are you doing here again? I will give this man what he craves.
Understanding.
The hell? Smells like pickled shit! He can smell you! [retches.]
My eyes are watering! Extraordinaut, please.
[warbling.]
Oh! Great! Heartshine? Don't come any closer! Who are you? No.
Who are you? You are Roger Fogerty.
You are 41 years old.
- And you are loved.
- No, I'm not.
My wife doesn't want me.
My parents are dead.
- Who loves me? - I do.
- Who are you? [music.]
- I'm Heartshine.
We'll get him the help he needs.
Thanks.
- You did it, Heartshine! - Oh, yippee.
Another fool who can't cope with life gets to live a few more pathetic decades.
- Donald, I - Stop it.
I'd rather return to my workshop and put myself to practical use.
Devizo's been awfully cranky lately.
What's up? I I don't know.
What's the Seven-Eyed Staff saying? It's saying Heartshine is lying.
[theme music.]
3x15 - Back to the Island [eerie music.]
Aah! Let me out! Oh, Lex, you know I cannot do that.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I had a hard time losing Rex.
How is she? We don't have much time.
If we don't cure here soon, she'll be lost for good.
- [glass breaking.]
- Oh, shit! [dramatic note plays.]
- What the [bleep.]
? - Rex, I can expl - [yells.]
- [grunts.]
Let me out, Rex! [chitters.]
[dramatic music.]
Dad? I didn't want you to see me like this.
She wouldn't let us help if we told you.
I think this is where you apologize for T-boning me on my desk, because you'd - I'm sorry.
- Shit.
Didn't expect you to say that.
Let's get you caught up.
Lex is losing control of her insect side, the half she got from her mother Frau Mantis.
She begged us to lock her away from society until we found a cure.
And hide her from me.
She thought she'd caused you enough pain.
- Where do we stand now? - Dr.
Devizo: Look familiar? The serum from the island Debbie was imprisoned on.
She used it to neutralize my powers.
If we can get more of it and modify it to suppress Lex's insect DNA, we could have a cure.
Then we go back to the island.
There's something I've gotta tell you about the island.
- I guess you could call it a confession.
- Absolutely what you'd call it! After Lex defeated Debbie, I kind of put her back on the island.
- You what?! - [whirring up.]
I want to remind you that I'm still very much jacked up from your last tantrum.
You'll be getting diminishing returns Ah! You stranded her on that island for decades, turned her into a killing machine, and then you put her back?! I loved her! You loved her! She's the most dangerous woman on Earth.
Where else could I put her? We can't get the power retarded without you, Rex.
[soft music.]
Lex, I won't come back until I find a way to fix this.
[music.]
Announcer: Hey kids, buckle up or don't! - The Cooch and Liplore show is back.
- [growling.]
[tires screech.]
[whimsical music.]
What's up, y'all? We sure did learn a lot today.
Mr.
Cacky stopped by and taught the squid the true meaning of pasta.
I sang a song about it, which was not easy.
A lot of moving parts there.
And we learned how to stand up to bullies from our special guest, Meta Zenith! Ha-ha! In every bully, there is a traumatized child yearning for help.
Learn that child's weakness and attack with no mercy! [children cheering.]
- Aah! - What do you say, Mr.
Leprechaun? Goodbye for now, and never stop looking for me gold! Until next time! [cheers and applause.]
[explosion.]
That was fun! Can I get out of this monocle? Where's my monocle guy? Zenith, great job out there.
I'm surprised a warrior like yourself could make time for a children's television show.
I am Meta Zenith now half Zenith, half nationally famous talk show host Portia Jones.
Both dies must be free to express themselves, Portia by getting back on television, and I by negotiating our deal.
Next time you want scale plus 10, please just go through our lawyers.
Me and my rotator cuff would rather not arm-wrestle you for it.
A common custom in the Godsrealm! - And the eye-gouging? - My own flourish.
What adventures are the League embarking on now? Actually, Rex is away on family business.
He's given us all a little R&R, which apparently means we're part of something called an "entourage"? Like the television show with Vinnie Chase and E? - Yep.
- Ugh! - Yep.
- Come on, clear out.
- [giggling.]
- This isn't a day care.
We've got three more of these to shoot today.
- Saturn? - Groaner? Great to see you.
What's up? What's up? You said there might be a spot for me on Cooch's show.
Oh, right.
Mm, let's retire to the ol' casting couch.
I mean, the couch in my casting-couch-room office.
[dramatic music.]
Now, you know I just get give you the part.
You'll just have to beat out a few other contenders.
- Such as? - I'm here for the audition.
- Oh.
Groaner? - Patty Mine? Oh, no! Aah! I forgot you two were dating.
I hope this doesn't cause undue stress on your relationship.
Son of a bitch.
[thunder crashing.]
Jesus, what were you flying? Mach 5? Thanks for the goggles, by the way.
I'd eat Bog-Man ass for some Visine.
I want to get in and out before Debbie knows we're here.
[thunder crashes.]
And there's one hell of a storm moving in.
[dramatic music.]
[thunder crashes.]
The serum's in the northeast compound.
Shouldn't we be looking for shelter? This storm is looking more like a hurricane.
I'm not gonna call off the search for Lex's antidote because you forgot an umbrella.
- Now buckle - [grunts.]
Rex? Rex? Aah! - [suspense music.]
- Aah! Run, you idiot! - [grunts.]
- Aah! [gasps.]
[bolo whipping.]
[grunts.]
Aah! - Please! Please don't kill me.
- No.
[lightning crashes.]
- Let the storm kill you.
- Aah! Robobot? What are you working on? Nothing.
Just cleaning up the shop.
Don't lie to me, please.
If Devizo can't make an antidote, we have to have I'm sorry.
- Hey, don't be.
- It's a machine designed to kill you.
You know, a Plan B.
[ominous music.]
There.
One for me and one for you.
Now I call tell everyone we had a coffee date! - [laughs.]
Right? - A "coffee date"? Well, I was wondering, since Portia and I had a thing and Zenith and I almost fornicated to save the world, maybe there's something here worth exploring.
The part of me that is Portia yearns for you.
- "Yearns.
" I like that.
- And the part of me who is Zenith recoils at the idea of your snake-blade piercing my flesh.
Slightly less encouraging.
To achieve balance, there must be a negotiation.
Then let the negotiation begin! All right, let's see what you got.
[lighter clicks.]
Ooh! You're still doing the brush fire thing.
Oh, well, it was just the first thing out of the bag.
Next! Patty, what do you got?! Okay.
I don't know what you think you're doing but this is a kid's show.
Groaner, can you beat that? If I couldn't, we'd have a real pickle on our hands.
[laughs.]
Well, Patty.
The Groaner sure did go out of his way to upstage you and make you look bad.
Are you gonna take that? - Oh, I don't know.
I - Okay, stop.
We see what's going on here.
You're trying to use a spot on some stupid kid's show to tear us apart.
Well, it's not going to work.
- Fine! This audition is over! - W-Wait! It'd be a shame not to share the art of mime with the world.
And your agents aren't exactly blowing your phone up.
Yeah, gonna let that one slide.
We'll audition for you, but nothing is gonna get in the way of this.
[laughs.]
We'll see.
We'll see.
[thunder crashes.]
[music.]
Don't kill me! I [thunder crashes.]
[sighs.]
Rex, Rex, wake up! - Huh? - We're alive.
[sneezes.]
- What the hell was that? - You must have cought a cold.
First one? Must be this power retardant messing with my Subtopian immune system.
Rex, look! Why didn't you leave us to die? I don't know.
Pray to your god I figure it out.
Devizo [dramatic music.]
The serum.
[grunts.]
[coughs.]
What did you do to me? Revealed your true selves.
A sick old man and a tinkler without his gadgets.
What we are at our weakest, that is truth.
Behind me are the spoils of the island food, weapons, paralysis discs used to harvest the villains that died here.
I stand before you at my weakest, no powers, weather-torn.
All you have to do is take it from me.
[sneezes.]
Aah, you son of a bitch! Cover your mouth! I've never had a cold before.
[singing.]
Snips, snails, puppy-dog tails.
Little boys are made of these.
But all these things are lame as hell when you've got a dune buggy! You hear that, kids? It's time to learn about dune buggies! [children cheering.]
Now, dune buggies come with these stupid things called "roll bars," which don't have been roll at all! What exactly are the children learning here? Let's give this mother-[bleep.]
a haircut.
You know, how you give a dune buggy a haircut.
Let's fire this thing up! - [engine revs.]
- [tires screeching.]
[crashes.]
We've established that Portia would be open to dating me.
She has a thing for incompetent men.
Got that.
Wrote it down.
Let's not repeat that again.
But that part of me that is Zenith recoils at the touch of a man.
"Zenith requires a feminine touch.
" Of her own.
She prefers her own.
So if our theoretical relationship were to move to the lovemaking phase, I would promise to don a womanly wig and sing the songs of the Valkyrie to make Zenith happy and would grow a chin strap, frost my tips, and wear a beanie to get Portia's motor running.
Do we have a deal? I'm sorry, I desire a warrior true.
"Warrior true"? Try this on for size The Battle of the Bulge, our troops had no fuel, no ammo, but I had my bayonet and a gut full of fire.
I charged with a devil's yell, dodging Panzer shells and German insults a disgusting, guttural language, by the way.
By the time the day was through, 200 Germans had fallen by my blade.
Anything else? I also spent that night siphoning fuel out of those Panzer tanks just me, a length of hose, and a side-effect of my government augmentation lips and a tongue that are completely impervious to fatigue.
We may just have a deal.
Yeah, it's hard making a living as a prop comic.
I even answered an ad for a job at Chippendales, but then I saw the application.
Thank you.
Patty? [warbling.]
[laughing.]
Holy shit! How did you do that? - What? - Climb those imaginary stairs! Oh, I have the gift of mimekinesis.
I can project hard-light holograms of things I mime.
- Since when? - Since always.
Did you think my superpower was painting my face and going to mime school? - I guess I just - Never asked? This is amazing! Patty, you've got the job! Maybe The Groaner could be my assistant.
Sorry.
Only one slot.
Again, is this causes strain on your relationship, my humblest apologies.
[thunder crashes.]
Debbie, please.
If we don't get that power retardant, - I could lose my daughter forever.
- Your daughter? The only one to ever best me in combat and the reason I'm back on this island? He put you back on this island.
- He's the enemy.
- Excuse me? Your evil turned Debbie into that.
You're the reason we're here.
Have you both forgotten? I loved you, Debbie, and you betrayed me by giving your heart to Rex.
- You made me.
- Will you cut that shit out? You were always a conniving little bastard.
[knife slams.]
You're both wrong.
[thunder crashes.]
Before this, before the island, when I was Heartshine, [chimes.]
the Stone of Amour gave me the power to spread love, unlocking tender feelings in those who needed it.
I saw in Dr.
Devizo a man with great need for that love.
But as I use the stone more and more, I noticed a change in Devizo.
He became bitter, jealous.
The man I loved disappeared before my eyes.
I retreated into the arms of another, and soon after, I learned the Stone of Amour's terrible secret.
To spread love to one person, I had to sap it from someone else.
Every time I used it's powers, I was stealing love from Devizo.
I made you what you are, Donald, not by sleeping with Rex, but by loving you.
It was monstrous, you stranding me on this island.
But you were a monster I created.
[stone warbling.]
Aah! Heartshine died that day, and Debbie Devizo was born.
No.
That's not that can't be true.
Lies are weapons for the weak, not for me.
[coughing.]
Oh, God damn it.
- [grunts.]
- Aah! Don't try that again.
Yeah.
Okay, sure.
I'm cool.
The quesadillas are almost done.
Can't you make yourself hotter, Liplor? You know, I'd really love to talk about script approval.
When we come back, a special guest will entertain you or or some shit.
- [cheers and applause.]
- So good luck.
Do you really mean that? - Well, what is that supposed to mean? - Nothing.
Well, uh, look, if you're feeling emotional, I could go out there instead.
Oh, to help me? Come on! [laughing.]
Oh, man! This is great.
Hey, seriously.
What's wrong? You didn't even know what my powers were.
No coming back from that.
No.
No, I didn't.
I didn't need to.
- What? - What! I guess I didn't care what your powers were.
You were smart, funny, mimed like a son of a bitch, and you felt like someone that would understand me, someone that could see me for who I am.
Why would I even be thinking about powers when [sobbing.]
when I already knew you were special? [Black Saturn sobbing.]
The hell is that? There's a rhino [bleep.]
a platypus? I-I think you guys should go out there together.
The kids need to see this.
[heroic music.]
Thank you.
Hello, kids! I'm the Groaner, and if you'll excuse me, I refuse to start a show without some fan-fare! [coins clinks.]
That was the fare, f-for the fan.
[child coughs.]
You call that a fan? - [powers humming.]
- [switch clicks.]
[wind howling.]
- [laughing.]
- [applause.]
H-H-Hey, kids! Over here! I've got some gags you can actually see! You're stepping on my bit.
Television is a visual medium.
[balloons squeaking.]
[muttering.]
tie the knot, and voilá! [cheers and applause.]
Who wants to not see a real dinosaur? [cheers and applause.]
Uh, do you think that's a good idea? [power humming.]
- [rumbling.]
- [T-Rex growling.]
[dramatic music.]
Aah! Mimes aren't so lame when they're riding a Tyrannosaurus Rex, are they? - [heroic music.]
- [T-Rex roars.]
Holy shit! [screaming.]
Patty, l-let's take it down a notch, honey! It's gonna charge! - [crashes.]
- Groaner: Holy shit! [dramatic note plays.]
- All right! That's our show! - I was just getting somewhere! Perhaps you were.
Now we will never know.
God damn it! How'd we do? You did over $100,000 in damage to the set.
You will never work for this network or any network again! This was you plan all along, wasn't it? Ruin our careers and laugh at our pain, just to make yourself feel better! No, I-I didn't.
Honestly, I Never talk to me again, ever! I hate you! - [thunder crashes.]
- [eerie music.]
[muttering.]
No.
No, no.
- This can't be right.
- What is the problem? You just found out your turn-to-villainy wasn't your fault.
That was my whole identity, man.
I'm an evil asshole! That's my thing! None of us have free will.
We are born into a storm, and the tempest shapes us.
I shape things! I design evil plans.
Your darkness is the absence of light the Stone of Amour stole from you.
That's supposed to make me feel better? That your love was just a ploy to siphon off all the goodness you needed for others? I am the puppet master! I am not a puppet! Donald, stop.
It was real.
Before you were twisted, you loved me, and I loved - [electricity crackling.]
- [screaming.]
What the hell was that? We were having a moment.
And I was focused on our mission getting this power retardant back to Lex.
Well, we can't leaver her here like this.
She's coming with us.
Fine.
I'm just glad things are finally going our way.
[dramatic music.]
- Be ready to move on my mark.
- You sure about this, Agony? Damn sure.
Robobot doesn't know we put a tracking device on him when he joined the League.
I cross-referenced his locations with the component shipments I've been tracking, and Robobot's been a lot of time in Dr.
Devizo's lab.
We're about to find out what they've been hiding since they got back from the future.
- [alarm blares.]
- Oh, no.
[electricity crackles.]
Lex, we've got to go.
[door crashes.]
[sparks hissing.]
Just what the hell has been going on in here? - [gasps.]
What do we do now? - We run.
[dramatic music.]
[chitters.]
We got a jumper! [dramatic music.]
Get a net out here now! Rex: That won't be necessary, officer.
The League of Freedom is here.
What do we got? His wife called it in.
Served him with divorce papers today.
Another human female has reached enlightenment.
Where is your heroic wife? I would celebrate with her over vessels of wine.
- Okay, let's just turn that off.
- You sure the League of work, Rex? Well, this might not be within my purview, but the League of Freedom is a big team.
- You can do it.
You got this.
- Fantastic.
Aah! Bog-Man, you smell like shit! What are you doing here again? I will give this man what he craves.
Understanding.
The hell? Smells like pickled shit! He can smell you! [retches.]
My eyes are watering! Extraordinaut, please.
[warbling.]
Oh! Great! Heartshine? Don't come any closer! Who are you? No.
Who are you? You are Roger Fogerty.
You are 41 years old.
- And you are loved.
- No, I'm not.
My wife doesn't want me.
My parents are dead.
- Who loves me? - I do.
- Who are you? [music.]
- I'm Heartshine.
We'll get him the help he needs.
Thanks.
- You did it, Heartshine! - Oh, yippee.
Another fool who can't cope with life gets to live a few more pathetic decades.
- Donald, I - Stop it.
I'd rather return to my workshop and put myself to practical use.
Devizo's been awfully cranky lately.
What's up? I I don't know.
What's the Seven-Eyed Staff saying? It's saying Heartshine is lying.
[theme music.]
3x15 - Back to the Island [eerie music.]
Aah! Let me out! Oh, Lex, you know I cannot do that.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I had a hard time losing Rex.
How is she? We don't have much time.
If we don't cure here soon, she'll be lost for good.
- [glass breaking.]
- Oh, shit! [dramatic note plays.]
- What the [bleep.]
? - Rex, I can expl - [yells.]
- [grunts.]
Let me out, Rex! [chitters.]
[dramatic music.]
Dad? I didn't want you to see me like this.
She wouldn't let us help if we told you.
I think this is where you apologize for T-boning me on my desk, because you'd - I'm sorry.
- Shit.
Didn't expect you to say that.
Let's get you caught up.
Lex is losing control of her insect side, the half she got from her mother Frau Mantis.
She begged us to lock her away from society until we found a cure.
And hide her from me.
She thought she'd caused you enough pain.
- Where do we stand now? - Dr.
Devizo: Look familiar? The serum from the island Debbie was imprisoned on.
She used it to neutralize my powers.
If we can get more of it and modify it to suppress Lex's insect DNA, we could have a cure.
Then we go back to the island.
There's something I've gotta tell you about the island.
- I guess you could call it a confession.
- Absolutely what you'd call it! After Lex defeated Debbie, I kind of put her back on the island.
- You what?! - [whirring up.]
I want to remind you that I'm still very much jacked up from your last tantrum.
You'll be getting diminishing returns Ah! You stranded her on that island for decades, turned her into a killing machine, and then you put her back?! I loved her! You loved her! She's the most dangerous woman on Earth.
Where else could I put her? We can't get the power retarded without you, Rex.
[soft music.]
Lex, I won't come back until I find a way to fix this.
[music.]
Announcer: Hey kids, buckle up or don't! - The Cooch and Liplore show is back.
- [growling.]
[tires screech.]
[whimsical music.]
What's up, y'all? We sure did learn a lot today.
Mr.
Cacky stopped by and taught the squid the true meaning of pasta.
I sang a song about it, which was not easy.
A lot of moving parts there.
And we learned how to stand up to bullies from our special guest, Meta Zenith! Ha-ha! In every bully, there is a traumatized child yearning for help.
Learn that child's weakness and attack with no mercy! [children cheering.]
- Aah! - What do you say, Mr.
Leprechaun? Goodbye for now, and never stop looking for me gold! Until next time! [cheers and applause.]
[explosion.]
That was fun! Can I get out of this monocle? Where's my monocle guy? Zenith, great job out there.
I'm surprised a warrior like yourself could make time for a children's television show.
I am Meta Zenith now half Zenith, half nationally famous talk show host Portia Jones.
Both dies must be free to express themselves, Portia by getting back on television, and I by negotiating our deal.
Next time you want scale plus 10, please just go through our lawyers.
Me and my rotator cuff would rather not arm-wrestle you for it.
A common custom in the Godsrealm! - And the eye-gouging? - My own flourish.
What adventures are the League embarking on now? Actually, Rex is away on family business.
He's given us all a little R&R, which apparently means we're part of something called an "entourage"? Like the television show with Vinnie Chase and E? - Yep.
- Ugh! - Yep.
- Come on, clear out.
- [giggling.]
- This isn't a day care.
We've got three more of these to shoot today.
- Saturn? - Groaner? Great to see you.
What's up? What's up? You said there might be a spot for me on Cooch's show.
Oh, right.
Mm, let's retire to the ol' casting couch.
I mean, the couch in my casting-couch-room office.
[dramatic music.]
Now, you know I just get give you the part.
You'll just have to beat out a few other contenders.
- Such as? - I'm here for the audition.
- Oh.
Groaner? - Patty Mine? Oh, no! Aah! I forgot you two were dating.
I hope this doesn't cause undue stress on your relationship.
Son of a bitch.
[thunder crashing.]
Jesus, what were you flying? Mach 5? Thanks for the goggles, by the way.
I'd eat Bog-Man ass for some Visine.
I want to get in and out before Debbie knows we're here.
[thunder crashes.]
And there's one hell of a storm moving in.
[dramatic music.]
[thunder crashes.]
The serum's in the northeast compound.
Shouldn't we be looking for shelter? This storm is looking more like a hurricane.
I'm not gonna call off the search for Lex's antidote because you forgot an umbrella.
- Now buckle - [grunts.]
Rex? Rex? Aah! - [suspense music.]
- Aah! Run, you idiot! - [grunts.]
- Aah! [gasps.]
[bolo whipping.]
[grunts.]
Aah! - Please! Please don't kill me.
- No.
[lightning crashes.]
- Let the storm kill you.
- Aah! Robobot? What are you working on? Nothing.
Just cleaning up the shop.
Don't lie to me, please.
If Devizo can't make an antidote, we have to have I'm sorry.
- Hey, don't be.
- It's a machine designed to kill you.
You know, a Plan B.
[ominous music.]
There.
One for me and one for you.
Now I call tell everyone we had a coffee date! - [laughs.]
Right? - A "coffee date"? Well, I was wondering, since Portia and I had a thing and Zenith and I almost fornicated to save the world, maybe there's something here worth exploring.
The part of me that is Portia yearns for you.
- "Yearns.
" I like that.
- And the part of me who is Zenith recoils at the idea of your snake-blade piercing my flesh.
Slightly less encouraging.
To achieve balance, there must be a negotiation.
Then let the negotiation begin! All right, let's see what you got.
[lighter clicks.]
Ooh! You're still doing the brush fire thing.
Oh, well, it was just the first thing out of the bag.
Next! Patty, what do you got?! Okay.
I don't know what you think you're doing but this is a kid's show.
Groaner, can you beat that? If I couldn't, we'd have a real pickle on our hands.
[laughs.]
Well, Patty.
The Groaner sure did go out of his way to upstage you and make you look bad.
Are you gonna take that? - Oh, I don't know.
I - Okay, stop.
We see what's going on here.
You're trying to use a spot on some stupid kid's show to tear us apart.
Well, it's not going to work.
- Fine! This audition is over! - W-Wait! It'd be a shame not to share the art of mime with the world.
And your agents aren't exactly blowing your phone up.
Yeah, gonna let that one slide.
We'll audition for you, but nothing is gonna get in the way of this.
[laughs.]
We'll see.
We'll see.
[thunder crashes.]
[music.]
Don't kill me! I [thunder crashes.]
[sighs.]
Rex, Rex, wake up! - Huh? - We're alive.
[sneezes.]
- What the hell was that? - You must have cought a cold.
First one? Must be this power retardant messing with my Subtopian immune system.
Rex, look! Why didn't you leave us to die? I don't know.
Pray to your god I figure it out.
Devizo [dramatic music.]
The serum.
[grunts.]
[coughs.]
What did you do to me? Revealed your true selves.
A sick old man and a tinkler without his gadgets.
What we are at our weakest, that is truth.
Behind me are the spoils of the island food, weapons, paralysis discs used to harvest the villains that died here.
I stand before you at my weakest, no powers, weather-torn.
All you have to do is take it from me.
[sneezes.]
Aah, you son of a bitch! Cover your mouth! I've never had a cold before.
[singing.]
Snips, snails, puppy-dog tails.
Little boys are made of these.
But all these things are lame as hell when you've got a dune buggy! You hear that, kids? It's time to learn about dune buggies! [children cheering.]
Now, dune buggies come with these stupid things called "roll bars," which don't have been roll at all! What exactly are the children learning here? Let's give this mother-[bleep.]
a haircut.
You know, how you give a dune buggy a haircut.
Let's fire this thing up! - [engine revs.]
- [tires screeching.]
[crashes.]
We've established that Portia would be open to dating me.
She has a thing for incompetent men.
Got that.
Wrote it down.
Let's not repeat that again.
But that part of me that is Zenith recoils at the touch of a man.
"Zenith requires a feminine touch.
" Of her own.
She prefers her own.
So if our theoretical relationship were to move to the lovemaking phase, I would promise to don a womanly wig and sing the songs of the Valkyrie to make Zenith happy and would grow a chin strap, frost my tips, and wear a beanie to get Portia's motor running.
Do we have a deal? I'm sorry, I desire a warrior true.
"Warrior true"? Try this on for size The Battle of the Bulge, our troops had no fuel, no ammo, but I had my bayonet and a gut full of fire.
I charged with a devil's yell, dodging Panzer shells and German insults a disgusting, guttural language, by the way.
By the time the day was through, 200 Germans had fallen by my blade.
Anything else? I also spent that night siphoning fuel out of those Panzer tanks just me, a length of hose, and a side-effect of my government augmentation lips and a tongue that are completely impervious to fatigue.
We may just have a deal.
Yeah, it's hard making a living as a prop comic.
I even answered an ad for a job at Chippendales, but then I saw the application.
Thank you.
Patty? [warbling.]
[laughing.]
Holy shit! How did you do that? - What? - Climb those imaginary stairs! Oh, I have the gift of mimekinesis.
I can project hard-light holograms of things I mime.
- Since when? - Since always.
Did you think my superpower was painting my face and going to mime school? - I guess I just - Never asked? This is amazing! Patty, you've got the job! Maybe The Groaner could be my assistant.
Sorry.
Only one slot.
Again, is this causes strain on your relationship, my humblest apologies.
[thunder crashes.]
Debbie, please.
If we don't get that power retardant, - I could lose my daughter forever.
- Your daughter? The only one to ever best me in combat and the reason I'm back on this island? He put you back on this island.
- He's the enemy.
- Excuse me? Your evil turned Debbie into that.
You're the reason we're here.
Have you both forgotten? I loved you, Debbie, and you betrayed me by giving your heart to Rex.
- You made me.
- Will you cut that shit out? You were always a conniving little bastard.
[knife slams.]
You're both wrong.
[thunder crashes.]
Before this, before the island, when I was Heartshine, [chimes.]
the Stone of Amour gave me the power to spread love, unlocking tender feelings in those who needed it.
I saw in Dr.
Devizo a man with great need for that love.
But as I use the stone more and more, I noticed a change in Devizo.
He became bitter, jealous.
The man I loved disappeared before my eyes.
I retreated into the arms of another, and soon after, I learned the Stone of Amour's terrible secret.
To spread love to one person, I had to sap it from someone else.
Every time I used it's powers, I was stealing love from Devizo.
I made you what you are, Donald, not by sleeping with Rex, but by loving you.
It was monstrous, you stranding me on this island.
But you were a monster I created.
[stone warbling.]
Aah! Heartshine died that day, and Debbie Devizo was born.
No.
That's not that can't be true.
Lies are weapons for the weak, not for me.
[coughing.]
Oh, God damn it.
- [grunts.]
- Aah! Don't try that again.
Yeah.
Okay, sure.
I'm cool.
The quesadillas are almost done.
Can't you make yourself hotter, Liplor? You know, I'd really love to talk about script approval.
When we come back, a special guest will entertain you or or some shit.
- [cheers and applause.]
- So good luck.
Do you really mean that? - Well, what is that supposed to mean? - Nothing.
Well, uh, look, if you're feeling emotional, I could go out there instead.
Oh, to help me? Come on! [laughing.]
Oh, man! This is great.
Hey, seriously.
What's wrong? You didn't even know what my powers were.
No coming back from that.
No.
No, I didn't.
I didn't need to.
- What? - What! I guess I didn't care what your powers were.
You were smart, funny, mimed like a son of a bitch, and you felt like someone that would understand me, someone that could see me for who I am.
Why would I even be thinking about powers when [sobbing.]
when I already knew you were special? [Black Saturn sobbing.]
The hell is that? There's a rhino [bleep.]
a platypus? I-I think you guys should go out there together.
The kids need to see this.
[heroic music.]
Thank you.
Hello, kids! I'm the Groaner, and if you'll excuse me, I refuse to start a show without some fan-fare! [coins clinks.]
That was the fare, f-for the fan.
[child coughs.]
You call that a fan? - [powers humming.]
- [switch clicks.]
[wind howling.]
- [laughing.]
- [applause.]
H-H-Hey, kids! Over here! I've got some gags you can actually see! You're stepping on my bit.
Television is a visual medium.
[balloons squeaking.]
[muttering.]
tie the knot, and voilá! [cheers and applause.]
Who wants to not see a real dinosaur? [cheers and applause.]
Uh, do you think that's a good idea? [power humming.]
- [rumbling.]
- [T-Rex growling.]
[dramatic music.]
Aah! Mimes aren't so lame when they're riding a Tyrannosaurus Rex, are they? - [heroic music.]
- [T-Rex roars.]
Holy shit! [screaming.]
Patty, l-let's take it down a notch, honey! It's gonna charge! - [crashes.]
- Groaner: Holy shit! [dramatic note plays.]
- All right! That's our show! - I was just getting somewhere! Perhaps you were.
Now we will never know.
God damn it! How'd we do? You did over $100,000 in damage to the set.
You will never work for this network or any network again! This was you plan all along, wasn't it? Ruin our careers and laugh at our pain, just to make yourself feel better! No, I-I didn't.
Honestly, I Never talk to me again, ever! I hate you! - [thunder crashes.]
- [eerie music.]
[muttering.]
No.
No, no.
- This can't be right.
- What is the problem? You just found out your turn-to-villainy wasn't your fault.
That was my whole identity, man.
I'm an evil asshole! That's my thing! None of us have free will.
We are born into a storm, and the tempest shapes us.
I shape things! I design evil plans.
Your darkness is the absence of light the Stone of Amour stole from you.
That's supposed to make me feel better? That your love was just a ploy to siphon off all the goodness you needed for others? I am the puppet master! I am not a puppet! Donald, stop.
It was real.
Before you were twisted, you loved me, and I loved - [electricity crackling.]
- [screaming.]
What the hell was that? We were having a moment.
And I was focused on our mission getting this power retardant back to Lex.
Well, we can't leaver her here like this.
She's coming with us.
Fine.
I'm just glad things are finally going our way.
[dramatic music.]
- Be ready to move on my mark.
- You sure about this, Agony? Damn sure.
Robobot doesn't know we put a tracking device on him when he joined the League.
I cross-referenced his locations with the component shipments I've been tracking, and Robobot's been a lot of time in Dr.
Devizo's lab.
We're about to find out what they've been hiding since they got back from the future.
- [alarm blares.]
- Oh, no.
[electricity crackles.]
Lex, we've got to go.
[door crashes.]
[sparks hissing.]
Just what the hell has been going on in here? - [gasps.]
What do we do now? - We run.
[dramatic music.]
[chitters.]