Swingtown s01e01 Episode Script


Listen up, folks! It's time to Stub out those cigarettes and finish up your cocktails.
I've just initiated our descent into O' Hare.
The weather down there is hot and muggy, so I hope your bicentennial plans include Too rough.
Include a dip in the la.
Fasten your seat belts, good people.
I'll have you at the gate in 30.
- It'll blister.
- It's not that bad.
How's, um Tammy.
Young, useless, in tears, of course.
I'll check in the back for some burn cream.
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky You okay, Tammy? Oh, I'm so embarrassed.
I just hate myself.
Take it easy.
It was an accident.
Your shirt's ruined.
It's okay.
I have plenty.
Your wife is going to kill me.
My wife is going to love you.
Your love is liftin' me higher than I've ever been lifted before.
Quench my desire and I'll be at your side forever more Now once I was downhearted disappointment was my closest friend Is everything okay? -Have any questions for me.
-Uh, no.
-Congratulations, Bruce.
-That's it.
Well, everything but the mortgage.
Sorry, sorry.
Got kind of caught up in the moment there.
No, no, I wish my little lady were still as enthusiastic.
I can't imagine why she wouldn't be.
Don't forget to let me know when you and the missus have that housewarming.
I'm gonna give our guest a ride home.
It was really nice meeting you, Mrs.
-Uh, you're really, um -You, too.
-What's so interesting.
-Our new neighbors.
They look happy.
Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing.
I'll be right back.
God, Herit comes.
Drop me back at the train.
Can't you take the rest of the day.
Not really the right sage to send my first week on the new job.
This is going to change everything, isn't it, Bruce? Only for the better.
Hey, take these.
On three.
-Oh, come on.
Get back here! Proudly Presents Edited by: TeHVeRdiK Swingtown Season 1, Episode 1 88 cents a pound.
Why is it, whenever we have a block party, I always draw the most expensive item at the picnic.
Why don't we switch.
I'll bring the meat and you can get the corn.
We may not be able to afford a mansion off the lake, but we can certainly bring for a few hamburgers.
You have any extra cardboard boxes in the back? Oh, sure, Mrs.
You want big, all, medium.
Whatever you can spare.
We're moving this weekend.
To a lakeside mansion.
That's right, Frank.
My butler will be doing the shopping from now on.
I'll let them by the side door.
Hi, how are you doing today? You're going to miss me, you know.
No, I'm not, 'cause I'm only moving a few blocks away.
Ricky, off.
Last thing you need is more sugar-- put it back.
Cart, too, BJ.
D, hurry up; you still have that whole basement to pack.
If it's only three blocks, then why do you even need to move at all? They say change is good.
To be honest, I feel like I'm ready for the next thing, you know.
Hmm, guess I've always been happy with the way things are.
You know, all this time, I had no idea you were so unsatisfied.
Hi, how are you? I have a coupon for that.
Where are you? Samantha.
I need you to run to the A and P.
We're out of tin foil.
Come on in and I'll give you some money.
Hurry it up.
Just a few more minutes, guys.
I know some of you are heading out of town for the fourth, so we'll hold off talking about your essays till next week.
It's the only long weekend we get during summer session, so celebrate your freedom wisely.
Looking forward to it, Laurie.
I'm not going anywhere.
This weekend.
My family's moving, so, I guess, technically, I am going somewhere.
Just a few blocks, but still.
My dad is such a capitalist.
Uh, that's it, everyone, come on, bring them up.
Have a good weekend.
Oh, you, too, Laurie.
Good luck with the move.
What are you doing here, Logan? Giving you a ride, if you hop I wasting a day off if you don't.
You're stoned.
-Uh, pomade, dye.
-Things you put on your hair.
Uh, butter, uh, sheets.
Things that you spread.
Sorry that took so long.
Kid lives way out in Schaumburg at her parents' house.
-You believe that? -Yes.
What was her name again? Cammy? Kimmy? Something like that.
She had a name tag.
But she will probably be fired after her performance today, or at least kicked down to commuter service.
Seems me you enjoyed her performance just fine.
Are you jealous? You know you are the only stewardess for me.
Let's just keep it in our age bracket for awhile, okay.
Darling, if you want me to be closer to you, get closer to me -Honey.
-In the bedroom.
Kids around.
Thought could swing them by the house.
BJ's across the street, Laurie's not back yet.
Even better.
Let's head over without them.
Might be the only time we get the new house all to ourselves.
Bruce, do I seem unsatisfied to you.
What are you talking about? We--we got everything we err wanted.
Forget I said it.
So what do you say? Mom.
Just leave it in the hall.
And stop breaking into that house next door.
The new family moves in tomorrow.
I can't believe these were hiding in your basement the whole-time.
Your dad's a perv.
He'll also be a murderer if he finds out we swiped these.
Relax, we timed it so he'll think the movers stole 'em.
It's perfect.
You know, this chick looks just like Betsy Burdis.
No way.
I'm not talking about the face.
-I should send in a polaroid of her.
-Like she'd give you one.
I'm telling you, if her mom hadn't come home last week, we'd have gone all the way.
You and Betsy Burdis.
Right! What you doing, Ricky? Go away, dad! Why is this door locked? It's open.
Everything okay in here.
What do you want.
Can't give a hello to the old man after work.
Can you go now? BJ, your mother just called.
She's running late with dinner.
I'll set another place.
It's your lucky day, pal.
My wife's famous Sloppy Joes tonight, am I right? Every Friday.
Go, wash up! Where the heck did you get this? Nowhere.
Some kid.
Don't let your mother catch you with this.
She'd have a coronary on the spot.
Let's do this right.
Welcome home, Mrs.
I swear, if your back goes out Bruce, I'm a mess.
Who's complaining? The windows.
Pick whatever room you want.
They're all ours.
Hey, hey, what's the matter with your head, yeah Bruce, please.
Hold on, give me two seconds to catch up.
Okay, one two.
Bruce Bruce, just hold on.
What is the problem? It's easier for you to get there, you know that, and, and just not always so easy to keep you there once I join in.
I I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it like that.
How did you mean it? Hi.
We were just heading out for a run, and you pull up.
I think we're interrupting.
No, my husband was ju we-we were just we'll come back.
No, it's fine, really -I'm Susan.
-Trina Decker.
This is my husband Tom.
We live right across the street.
-Bruce Miller.
Welcome to the neighborhood.
Dom Perignon.
I'm afraid we don't have any glasses.
Well, tell you what.
If you'd like to share, why don't you bring it to our party tomorrow night.
Come either way, we'll light some fireworks, you can make some new friends whatever you're into -Tomorrow's going to be a long day.
-We'll try to make it.
I'm guessing you have children.
Well, you might want to get a sitter.
This party will go late.
Hey, I'm heading over to Schaeffer's to pick up the booze.
-Need anything while I'm out.
And a pack of 100s.
So what do you think of our new neighbors? Well, they seem nice.
My guess is they hit it big in the market; not huge.
You think they'll show tonight? -Why, you interested? -I don't know yet.
Seemed a little straight and narrow.
Might be kind of a tough sell.
So yeah is boring.
Ricky, get rid of those things before you lose a finger.
Hi, Logan.
I guess you get the honor of the last phone call in the old house-- hold on! Laurie, Logan's on the phone.
Hey, what's happening? We're at the bitter end, mercifully.
I don't know, can we decide later? Because I'm standing in the living room with my mom staring at me.
Okay, bye.
What is it you think you can't say in front of me? Mom, can you just not? Please! No, I can't 'just not!' This has been going on all summer.
Things getting serious.
Logan hasn't read a book since he finished high school.
He can barely hold a five-minute conversation with me.
Well, it's not the conversation I'm worried about.
He's an older boy.
Times have changed, mom.
Women can decide if and when they want to have sex with someone.
So, are you.
Having sex.
You say that like it's the worst thing a person could do.
That's not an answer.
Look, I get that I'm the same age that you were when Dad knocked you up, but you don't need to worry, 'cause I'm smarter than that.
I know you are.
I just-- I want you kids to have happy, healthy lives.
It keeps me up at night.
You know there are better things to do at night.
Okay, that's everything.
I sent the truck ahead.
Hey, dad, what's the last book you read.
The last book.
I, uh I thumbed through the shark parts of Jaws.
Does that count? What do you think, mom? Does that count? BJ.
So, anyone have any final words to say for the old casa.
Nah, me, neither.
Come on, let's hit it.
-Bruce, just a sec.
I'm still going to check upstairs in case I left anything.
There's nothing up there, babe, I double-checked Actually, dad, could you get this for me? It's kind of heavy.
I swear, between you and your mother I call the room farthest from them.
I think it was this'll be great.
Are you trying to be ironic? That's your department, Laur.
I just like the song.
This is so humiliating.
Hey, I'm going to get you.
Be right back.
Need a hand there, big shot.
You're about the only guy I'm going to miss around here, Rog.
I wish you could come with us.
If you, uh, need some help backing out, I'll make sure you don't hit any kids.
See ya.
What the heck is keeping your mother?! Susan.
Uh, it's a scrapbook.
Mostly pictures.
Uh, pressed flowers from your garden, some of my recipes.
Janet, that is so thoughtful.
I know, I know-- I'm being ridiculous.
It's just you you've been my best friend for so, so long that's not going to change.
Everybody's waiting, Sue.
Go, go, go.
what'd I, nothing left, huh.
I'll call you.
Take it easy.
Funny days in the park, every day's the fourth of July Hello.
It's me.
Just wanted to see if you went home with a blue ribbon for your apple pie.
Four years in a row.
How's it going over there? I keep thinking we had to have more tuff.
This place is so big.
Keep us together so, uh, what are you doing for dinner tonight? God, I haven't even thought about it.
Bruce just walked in.
He wanted me to apologize for missing the barbeque.
Tell him I understand.
It was a big day.
Can I call you later? I'll be here.
How's old Janet? It's her wrists yet.
Janet may be a handful, but she is the most loyal person I know.
Loyal or clingy.
Stop it.
Okay, okay.
You know Things are pretty damn good for us right now.
Here's to you and me, enjoying every minute off.
Let's go to the neighbors party tonight.
Start things off right.
We can't leave BJ by himself.
He's a big boy; he'll be fine.
Okay if I go to the movies tonight.
My treat.
Big date.
Just Rick.
Don't you have any other friends than that, kid? Do you want me to give you a ride, honey? We're going to bike.
See how well that worked out.
Those things are all nitrates.
Worse than cigarettes.
What are you doing here, Mr.
Stephens? It's still a public beach, last ickheed.
No I mean, yeah, but don't think it's weird, running into one of your students here.
I mean, not weird, just out of context.
I should warn you, I also go to the supermarket, the post office, and the occasional Dylan concert.
Did you read my essay yet? I did.
That doesn't sound like an 'A'.
You didn't follow the assignment.
Why? Because Tropic of Cancer isn't approved source material.
Henry Miller's a master.
You were supposed to choose one tertiary example of kierkegaardian freedom, and then one from your own personal experience.
Unless you and Anais Nin were pals, you didn't answer the question.
Anais Nin is so much more interesting than I am.
Nothing I've done comes close to what she writes about.
Guess you have to work on that.
That your boyfriend? Yeah not really.
Um, I should go.
Hey, happy Independence Day! My makeup bag went missing, so I had to borrow Laurie's.
Too much.
Are you kidding? Knock, knock! Hi, guys.
What are you doing here? Thought you might want the extra brats and burgers from the cookout.
Leave-overs now that's a housewarming gift.
Hey, we also brought a six-pack.
I'm just messing with you, Rog.
Much appreciated.
Hey, I wish we knew you were coming.
We were just stepping out.
So it seems.
When you said you didn't have any plans tonight, I thought Well, the new neighbors invited us over for a drink.
That's all.
Well, don't Let us stand in your way.
Out with the old, in with the new.
Why don't you join us? We won't know a soul there.
Oh, no, no, that's Are you sure? The invitation seemed open enough, didn't it, Bruce? Well, I suppose, if, uh Roger can borrow one of Bruce's shirts, unless barbeque stains are the new fashion.
Me on.
Couldn't you have put on some aftershave? You smell like lighter fluid.
Hey, it's the new kids in town.
Susan and Bruce.
We were hoping you guys could make it.
I hope you don't mind, we brought some old friends.
Old neighbors, actually.
The more the merrier.
You know, you and Tommy would really got it figured out, Trine.
The guy has no idea how luck he has it with you.
Susan, hi.
You two get settled in okay.
The best that we could.
Our old furniture barely fills half the new house.
Maybe you could give my wife some decorating tips.
Call a decorator.
Who'd up for a Harvey Wallbanger? Sounds like a winner.
Gimlet for me.
I'll just have a chablis.
Oh, Trina, this is Janet.
Janet's my old-- Say 'old neighbor' one more time, I'm going to go home and hang myself.
I was going to say, my friend who used to live across the street.
And that lug of a man who lumbered off without introducing himself is my husband Roger.
How about a tour? You, um Sure.
I'll just wait here for my husband.
Yeah, I'll just wait.
Let's go.
I'm getting eaten alive.
Do you have any bug spray? If anyone's biting you tonight, it's going to be me.
You're a pig.
You like it.
Cool! Maybe, if you're a sixth-grader.
How far up your butt does that stick go? Sorry.
Warm beer and bottle rockets don't really do it for me.
What is with you tonight? All of the sudden, you act like you're too cool to hang.
Too bored is more like it.
Boring is wasting the entire summer taking some English class you don't even need.
Same difference.
You know what? You're an idiot.
You don't know anything about me.
Know enough to get in your pants every night.
Where you going? Laur.
You can call it another lonely day And this is the bedroom.
Oh, Trina, thank God! Do you have any coke? Oh, no, honey, never when I host.
But I think Bud Green has plenty.
But just watch out, he's more handsy than usual.
I'm sorry.
You two met? Oh, Gail Saxton, this is Susan Miller.
Susan just moved into the house next door to you.
Do you have any coke? Sorry.
Honey, I think Stu's looking for you.
Big surprise.
She's harmless.
Miserable, but harmless.
I keep saying they should open up their marriage like everyone else, but her husband's a little uptight.
You and Tom have an open marriage.
We, don't you? No, Bruce would go ape if I cheat on him.
Oh, well, it's not cheating [Missing Lines, Please Fill It!] table arround.
sex high school.
talk ######## tom.
[Please fill the above missing lines and send it to the website being uploaded.
Thanks!] He was the devil.
You think your dad would kill you if you were possessed.
Mine would puss out.
Want to sleep over tonight? Bastard! You lying little jerk.
Don't you say my name! Hey.
You told your maggot little friends that you're doing it with me.
No Bull! Say you're a liar.
Say it.
I--I made it up.
I'm sorry.
If you ever even say my name again, I swear, you're dead.
I'll go get somebody.
Don't You're bleeding! Leave me alone.
Are you deaf? Get out of here? I can get you into the pump room, the chop house.
You want a membership to the Playboy club, give me a call.
Mile high club, talk to this guy.
But I can get you the girl.
I'm going to go look for Susan.
I'll be right here.
What about your old man? Sent him home.
Think I'm going to the basement.
What's in the basement? Playroom.
Give me a hand with the fireworks.
Your, uh your new neighbors are really something.
I'll say.
Uh, Trina? Uh, I was trying to find Susan.
Have you seen her? She was heading towards the basement.
Down the hall, second door on the left.
You having fun.
Trina gave me a quaalude.
You're kidding.
How do you feel? So far, so good.
You wouldn't believe what she suggested.
Actually, uh, I--I think Tom suggested the same thing.
It's it's crazy, right? Right.
I know.
Why don't you kick the shoes off, mom, and join the party? Roger, we are leaving right now.
-Wh--what's wrong? -You won't believe what kind of party this is.
We don't We don't belong here.
You have no idea what kind of people these are.
Susan, I'm not kidding.
They are sick.
We're gonna stay.
Where is it? My ring.
I know you have it.
That looks like a wedding ring.
It was.
My dad's.
And is he dead? I don't know.
Or care.
Then why do you keep it? To remind me not to do anything stupid like get married.
Or talk to people like you.
Are you running away? You should mind your own business.
Anyone need a drink? I'm good.
No! And leave tomorrow behind You have great hands, Susan.
Fly me high through the starry skies Mmaybe to an Astral plane cross the highways of fantasy Help me to forget today's pain Why don't the four of us go someplace a little quieter? Ooh-ooh, dream weaver, I believe we can reach the morning light, Though the dawn may be coming soon, There still may be some time, Fly me away to the bright side of the moon Why don't you come to bed? Because we live in a pigsty.
Don't touch me.
Ricky Oh, my God! Go, get some towels.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! It's all right, it's all right.
I believe we can reach the morning light, dream weaver I can see clearly now the rain has gone, I can see all obstacles in my way, Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind, It's gonna be a bright, a bright bright bright sunshiny day, it's gonna be a bright bright bright bright sunshiny day, I think I can make it now the pain is gone, All of the bad feelings have disappeared, Here is that rainbow I've been prayin' for, It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day I'm gonna take a shower.
I think I can make it now the pain is gone, All of the bad feelings have disappeared.
proudly presents:- Edited by: TeHVeRdiK Swingtown Season 1, Episode 1