Taaza Khabar (2023) s01e01 Episode Script
Khabardaar
1
My mother says
the difference between
magic and a miracle
is that magic requires deception.
And a miracle needs belief.
But only one out of a million,
can be both magic
and a miracle.
Which is both deception
and belief.
Sometimes a curse
and sometimes a blessing.
Do you want to play a round?
I don't need to play
to lose money.
What is with the get-up?
Are you a gangster or something?
Can you hear me? Hey!
Is this your father's latrine?
No.
It's mine.
Hey Vasya! Vasya wake up.
There is a huge combat
happening at your house.
-What?
-There's a fight at your place.
-Why are you hitting her?
-Fucker you don't interfere!
-Why are you hitting her?
-She is a thief!
Your mother stole
something you fucker!
She stole 2,000 Rupees.
You piece of shit.
It's a good thing I
didn't call the police,
or she could have been hanged.
Hang this bitch! She deserves it.
But sir Oh, God!
Sir
I just borrowed it
I swear I would have returned it.
It is Vasu's birthday today.
He is turning 25 today, so I wanted
to gift him a cake and a shirt.
But I would have paid
you back when I got my salary.
I would have put it back
next to the fish tank--
You already know,
that I have cameras
everywhere in my home.
Then why did you steal the money?
-Why did you steal it?
-Billimoria uncle.
That's enough.
Hey!
-What is it?
-I told you, don't use this one.
-I have diarrhoea.
-Get lost!
I might have done it right here.
Crazy man
-Hey Vasya! Listen.
-Later.
Here.
He barks a lot.
She can recognise thieves.
Not the dog, you.
Do you want to talk back to me?
Get lost.
My mother will come back
to work tomorrow.
Don't fire her.
Come on, get lost. Move it!
Jobless people!
Don't even have enough
money to take a dump
and they want to watch the show.
Let's go.
Move it.
You have a lot of money these days.
Did you steal it?
Wow!
The pot is calling
the kettle black.
Hey, shut up.
Oh, God!
But why did you do this?
For you.
But fate is not on our side.
When good times don't last forever.
How long will our bad time last?
One day, I will buy that
Billimoria's house.
Right.
But you will still find me
scrubbing dishes there.
He will wash them!
You will sit there like a queen.
My dear boy.
So, mother and son gang?
Have you decided?
Where is the next robbery?
Don't harass her.
He probably stole this.
Damn it! They still haven't
released our soldier!
We will hit them at
their home turf.
We will rescue our soldier!
They released him.
He is back already.
The paper will be
published tomorrow.
That news is old.
You get news
immediately on your phone.
This is breaking news.
As-Salaam-Alaikum.
Wa-Alaikum-Salaam.
No more free food.
Wait, I will give you a bad
review on the delivery app.
It was just a joke, man! Here.
Eat this yellow capsicum.
Now shut up,
I have a lot of work.
You look tense Mehboob.
How is business?
Business is down Vasant.
There is no future here.
I was thinking about starting
my own online delivery service.
With Shazia's help.
They have opened a new
English bakery next door.
Those bastards add
paneer to their cake
and sell it as cheesecake.
And people always go there,
nobody fucking comes here.
Hey Peter, stop abusing!
It's fine. Everyone has their own
principles and their own business.
And this guy thinks
God will help him!
That's enough.
How is Julie?
She is great!
She wants to keep going all night.
Little Peter falls
asleep but she doesn't!
It's very difficult to make
her go to bed.
-She is playing you.
-Hey man!
She is a Russian, understand?
She is from Ghatkopar!
If you colour your hair
even you can look like Malinga.
Was that a joke?
Tell me, what is your parcel?
Tonight is my birthday.
Give me whatever you want.
It's my date night.
Brother.
If your date doesn't
make you late,
then it doesn't count. Understand?
Just get the parcel ready!
Sure. Here, eat this
while you wait. For free.
Get his parcel ready.
Aunt.
This is today's collection.
And these are their
names and numbers.
Give it to him.
Keep this.
I took 2,000 from this.
So please adjust it next week.
Fine.
Madhu.
-Ten minutes.
-Okay.
Make a note that
he borrowed 2,000 in advance.
How was your day?
Fantastic!
My dad got drunk
and beat up my mom.
Mom stole for the
first time today.
And she got caught.
Then I took care of that
and some other issues.
Then settled in to enjoy
the smell of shit at work.
That is how I will
spend tomorrow.
And the day after.
Don't you ever want to do it?
You must be tired.
Are you not a man?
Are you not a human?
Look, I brought you
sweet corn soup.
But I like Manchow!
That's what I brought last time!
But you said you like this!
Really?
Actually, I have no idea what
I want in my life.
But I do.
I want money.
Not just in my wallet,
but in my destiny.
So that mom never
needs to steal again.
Look, all of this, chicken, noodle
and soup, we can always get that.
All you need
Is a good man to deliver it.
Do Chinese people like sweet soup?
No, they don't even eat Chinese.
They eat bugs and insects.
We are the ones
who keeps eating schezwan
and suffering from acidity.
Romeo and Juliet.
Are you done?
Time to go.
Mr Shetty will be here soon.
Wait! Wait!
Buy yourself a
birthday gift from me.
-No Madhu--
-Shut up.
I made and sold three
blouses and two dresses for this.
I even received an advance on
my order. So, keep it.
This is your money! You earned it!
You keep it, invest
in your business.
It is none of your
business, understand?
Now go.
Get out.
Shetty sir, have a seat.
Madhu is getting ready.
But why are you all dressed
up like a bride, Reshma?
Hurry up and send her to my car.
I made such a
beautiful room for you.
But you still prefer your car?
Lions don't use rooms
they prefer open spaces.
Reshma, we have to give this
to the party from Dadar.
He will come here
tomorrow to take it.
Understand?
Vasya! Come here.
Keep this at the latrine.
We need it tomorrow.
Does this fool come
here to meet Madhu?
No he cleans
the place and stuff.
You know, the commodes
and everything
You got lucky today.
It won't work forever.
Vasant!
Here, keep this.
Here boy, keep it.
Oh, my love.
Come with me.
You will be a queen in my house.
No sir, I am better off
being the queen at a brothel.
Then come here, my queen!
What is going on here?
Nothing, an old
woman fell in the toilet.
Now, who is going to pick her up?
She is sleeping in her own shit!
Sister? What are you doing here?
Who is going to
get her out of there?
The guy who cleans the toilets
will come back in the morning.
Forget it, she was going to
die soon anyway.
So, you want to let
her die right here?
This happens every day.
Oh, aunty!
Aunty?
Get up.
Disgusting
Get up.
Hey, bring some water for us.
What the hell, man?
Such a pointless headache.
You could have left her there till
tomorrow morning, couldn't you?
Yes, that is probably what
God thinks as well.
Let them die in those sewers.
Give me that.
Come on, man.
Gross
Happy birthday, Vasya.
Enjoying your night!
Yes, full enjoy.
Careful.
Keep this.
Keep it.
Oh no, my child.
You have done a lot for me today.
It's fine! Just keep it.
-Fine.
-Good.
In return for this,
all I can do
is give you this.
-What do I do with this?
-Just keep it.
Okay, fine.
Go, my child.
You are now free from slavery.
You will receive everything
before everyone else.
Go right. Right!
Go right.
-Isn't that him?
-Yeah, that's him.
Let's go.
Get him!
Hey! Stop!
-Stop.
-Get him.
You bastards!
What do you want?
Here.
It's branded.
Thank you.
Is that boy your lover?
He is a good kid.
Should I kill him?
Tell me?
Fine.
I will forgive him,
just for you.
I want to do it again.
What the hell?
Did someone catch you stealing too?
The two of you
You damn mother and son
Will destroy the reputation
of the Gawde household.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VASYA
HURRICANE IN THE ARABIAN SEA,
EMERGENCY DECLARED
Oh no!
What happened to your face?
What happened
What is this? Oh, God!
What happened to you?
I fell down yesterday.
Who beat you up?
Who was it?
I got into an argument
with some guys
Does an argument lead to this?
Come, let's go to the
doctor right now.
-Come.
-That's where I am going!
You're going to the doctor?
Wear this.
I made it from my new saree.
Happy birthday my son.
Look how bad the wound is
TORRENTIAL RAINFALL IN MUMBAI
Hey!
Did it rain here?
Yes, and it was snowing too!
It's the month of May, Vasya!
"Don't snooze, wake up"
"The morning is here"
"Don't snooze, wake up"
"The morning is here"
"At the crack of dawn
fate is ready to face the world"
"Open your eyes and wake up
don't get in your own way"
"Get up and hustle
conquer your lethargy"
"Don't snooze, wake up"
"The morning is here"
"Stop living on pocket change"
"Life will be too difficult"
"Come try some butter"
This is from the tenant in Dongri.
"Don't snooze, wake up"
"The morning is here"
Hey, bloody birthday boy!
Whose blouse are you wearing?
-Shut up.
-What? Oh hey.
Your gift.
What is this?
I brought underwear that
glows in the dark for you.
Madhu will enjoy it.
-Here.
-Gross.
Hey! What the hell
-Who did this to you?
-Forget it.
Tell me, who did it?
Would you come to save me?
No man, I am a true friend.
I would get beat up
along with you.
Hey! Let's change the mood now.
-Let's go.
-Where? I have work!
Forget work. Come on.
It will take 10 minutes.
They made a new bridge
on Sodawala road.
The CM is coming there to
cut the ribbon.
-Shetty will be there too.
-Then go with him!
Oh, come on! We can even get
a birthday party for free.
You know, they
are going to give out
vada pav and cold
drinks for free, right?
Who will take care of the latrine?
The people who use it! Now
let's go check out the bridge.
SODAWALA BRIDGE FALLS,
7 WOUNDED, 1 DEAD
Hey Peter!
Namaskar!
I would like to give
a warm welcome
to all of my brothers and
sisters gathered here.
I am grateful to all of you for
gathering here
in this sweltering heat.
Will you tell me what happened?
I was attacked last night.
Some people beat me
up in the back lanes.
And they stole Aunt's money.
Son of a bitch!
Look,
there is no need to
worry. Don't worry.
Shetty doesn't
take people's lives.
Deepak used to handle
the money before you.
He stole the money
so he cut his arms off.
He might
cut off your legs.
You will go from
Vasya to handicap.
But you don't need to worry.
You can still work at the latrine.
Because you don't
need legs to sit.
He is cracking jokes out here.
Didn't this bridge fall?
Did you hit your head, dumbass?
They just made this bridge.
Why are you jinxing it
and saying it will fall?
It will open at 2:30 pm.
But just like our party
this bridge is a beacon of hope.
Aunt is calling.
Come on, pick up.
Hello?
Yes, Aunt? Hello?
-Yes, Aunt?
-Where are you?
The party is here for the money.
No Aunt, I have
stepped out for a bit.
Yes?
No, I am here at the
opening for the bridge.
-I will give it tomorrow.
-Hello? I can't hear you.
Yes, I will give it
to you tomorrow.
I can't hear you, Aunt.
Hello? Hello?
Hello?
Aunt?
Go, my child.
You are now free from slavery.
You will receive everything
before everyone else.
My mother says
the difference between
magic and a miracle
is that magic requires deception.
And a miracle needs belief.
But only one out of a million,
can be both magic
and a miracle.
Which is both deception
and belief.
Sometimes a curse
and sometimes a blessing.
Do you want to play a round?
I don't need to play
to lose money.
What is with the get-up?
Are you a gangster or something?
Can you hear me? Hey!
Is this your father's latrine?
No.
It's mine.
Hey Vasya! Vasya wake up.
There is a huge combat
happening at your house.
-What?
-There's a fight at your place.
-Why are you hitting her?
-Fucker you don't interfere!
-Why are you hitting her?
-She is a thief!
Your mother stole
something you fucker!
She stole 2,000 Rupees.
You piece of shit.
It's a good thing I
didn't call the police,
or she could have been hanged.
Hang this bitch! She deserves it.
But sir Oh, God!
Sir
I just borrowed it
I swear I would have returned it.
It is Vasu's birthday today.
He is turning 25 today, so I wanted
to gift him a cake and a shirt.
But I would have paid
you back when I got my salary.
I would have put it back
next to the fish tank--
You already know,
that I have cameras
everywhere in my home.
Then why did you steal the money?
-Why did you steal it?
-Billimoria uncle.
That's enough.
Hey!
-What is it?
-I told you, don't use this one.
-I have diarrhoea.
-Get lost!
I might have done it right here.
Crazy man
-Hey Vasya! Listen.
-Later.
Here.
He barks a lot.
She can recognise thieves.
Not the dog, you.
Do you want to talk back to me?
Get lost.
My mother will come back
to work tomorrow.
Don't fire her.
Come on, get lost. Move it!
Jobless people!
Don't even have enough
money to take a dump
and they want to watch the show.
Let's go.
Move it.
You have a lot of money these days.
Did you steal it?
Wow!
The pot is calling
the kettle black.
Hey, shut up.
Oh, God!
But why did you do this?
For you.
But fate is not on our side.
When good times don't last forever.
How long will our bad time last?
One day, I will buy that
Billimoria's house.
Right.
But you will still find me
scrubbing dishes there.
He will wash them!
You will sit there like a queen.
My dear boy.
So, mother and son gang?
Have you decided?
Where is the next robbery?
Don't harass her.
He probably stole this.
Damn it! They still haven't
released our soldier!
We will hit them at
their home turf.
We will rescue our soldier!
They released him.
He is back already.
The paper will be
published tomorrow.
That news is old.
You get news
immediately on your phone.
This is breaking news.
As-Salaam-Alaikum.
Wa-Alaikum-Salaam.
No more free food.
Wait, I will give you a bad
review on the delivery app.
It was just a joke, man! Here.
Eat this yellow capsicum.
Now shut up,
I have a lot of work.
You look tense Mehboob.
How is business?
Business is down Vasant.
There is no future here.
I was thinking about starting
my own online delivery service.
With Shazia's help.
They have opened a new
English bakery next door.
Those bastards add
paneer to their cake
and sell it as cheesecake.
And people always go there,
nobody fucking comes here.
Hey Peter, stop abusing!
It's fine. Everyone has their own
principles and their own business.
And this guy thinks
God will help him!
That's enough.
How is Julie?
She is great!
She wants to keep going all night.
Little Peter falls
asleep but she doesn't!
It's very difficult to make
her go to bed.
-She is playing you.
-Hey man!
She is a Russian, understand?
She is from Ghatkopar!
If you colour your hair
even you can look like Malinga.
Was that a joke?
Tell me, what is your parcel?
Tonight is my birthday.
Give me whatever you want.
It's my date night.
Brother.
If your date doesn't
make you late,
then it doesn't count. Understand?
Just get the parcel ready!
Sure. Here, eat this
while you wait. For free.
Get his parcel ready.
Aunt.
This is today's collection.
And these are their
names and numbers.
Give it to him.
Keep this.
I took 2,000 from this.
So please adjust it next week.
Fine.
Madhu.
-Ten minutes.
-Okay.
Make a note that
he borrowed 2,000 in advance.
How was your day?
Fantastic!
My dad got drunk
and beat up my mom.
Mom stole for the
first time today.
And she got caught.
Then I took care of that
and some other issues.
Then settled in to enjoy
the smell of shit at work.
That is how I will
spend tomorrow.
And the day after.
Don't you ever want to do it?
You must be tired.
Are you not a man?
Are you not a human?
Look, I brought you
sweet corn soup.
But I like Manchow!
That's what I brought last time!
But you said you like this!
Really?
Actually, I have no idea what
I want in my life.
But I do.
I want money.
Not just in my wallet,
but in my destiny.
So that mom never
needs to steal again.
Look, all of this, chicken, noodle
and soup, we can always get that.
All you need
Is a good man to deliver it.
Do Chinese people like sweet soup?
No, they don't even eat Chinese.
They eat bugs and insects.
We are the ones
who keeps eating schezwan
and suffering from acidity.
Romeo and Juliet.
Are you done?
Time to go.
Mr Shetty will be here soon.
Wait! Wait!
Buy yourself a
birthday gift from me.
-No Madhu--
-Shut up.
I made and sold three
blouses and two dresses for this.
I even received an advance on
my order. So, keep it.
This is your money! You earned it!
You keep it, invest
in your business.
It is none of your
business, understand?
Now go.
Get out.
Shetty sir, have a seat.
Madhu is getting ready.
But why are you all dressed
up like a bride, Reshma?
Hurry up and send her to my car.
I made such a
beautiful room for you.
But you still prefer your car?
Lions don't use rooms
they prefer open spaces.
Reshma, we have to give this
to the party from Dadar.
He will come here
tomorrow to take it.
Understand?
Vasya! Come here.
Keep this at the latrine.
We need it tomorrow.
Does this fool come
here to meet Madhu?
No he cleans
the place and stuff.
You know, the commodes
and everything
You got lucky today.
It won't work forever.
Vasant!
Here, keep this.
Here boy, keep it.
Oh, my love.
Come with me.
You will be a queen in my house.
No sir, I am better off
being the queen at a brothel.
Then come here, my queen!
What is going on here?
Nothing, an old
woman fell in the toilet.
Now, who is going to pick her up?
She is sleeping in her own shit!
Sister? What are you doing here?
Who is going to
get her out of there?
The guy who cleans the toilets
will come back in the morning.
Forget it, she was going to
die soon anyway.
So, you want to let
her die right here?
This happens every day.
Oh, aunty!
Aunty?
Get up.
Disgusting
Get up.
Hey, bring some water for us.
What the hell, man?
Such a pointless headache.
You could have left her there till
tomorrow morning, couldn't you?
Yes, that is probably what
God thinks as well.
Let them die in those sewers.
Give me that.
Come on, man.
Gross
Happy birthday, Vasya.
Enjoying your night!
Yes, full enjoy.
Careful.
Keep this.
Keep it.
Oh no, my child.
You have done a lot for me today.
It's fine! Just keep it.
-Fine.
-Good.
In return for this,
all I can do
is give you this.
-What do I do with this?
-Just keep it.
Okay, fine.
Go, my child.
You are now free from slavery.
You will receive everything
before everyone else.
Go right. Right!
Go right.
-Isn't that him?
-Yeah, that's him.
Let's go.
Get him!
Hey! Stop!
-Stop.
-Get him.
You bastards!
What do you want?
Here.
It's branded.
Thank you.
Is that boy your lover?
He is a good kid.
Should I kill him?
Tell me?
Fine.
I will forgive him,
just for you.
I want to do it again.
What the hell?
Did someone catch you stealing too?
The two of you
You damn mother and son
Will destroy the reputation
of the Gawde household.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VASYA
HURRICANE IN THE ARABIAN SEA,
EMERGENCY DECLARED
Oh no!
What happened to your face?
What happened
What is this? Oh, God!
What happened to you?
I fell down yesterday.
Who beat you up?
Who was it?
I got into an argument
with some guys
Does an argument lead to this?
Come, let's go to the
doctor right now.
-Come.
-That's where I am going!
You're going to the doctor?
Wear this.
I made it from my new saree.
Happy birthday my son.
Look how bad the wound is
TORRENTIAL RAINFALL IN MUMBAI
Hey!
Did it rain here?
Yes, and it was snowing too!
It's the month of May, Vasya!
"Don't snooze, wake up"
"The morning is here"
"Don't snooze, wake up"
"The morning is here"
"At the crack of dawn
fate is ready to face the world"
"Open your eyes and wake up
don't get in your own way"
"Get up and hustle
conquer your lethargy"
"Don't snooze, wake up"
"The morning is here"
"Stop living on pocket change"
"Life will be too difficult"
"Come try some butter"
This is from the tenant in Dongri.
"Don't snooze, wake up"
"The morning is here"
Hey, bloody birthday boy!
Whose blouse are you wearing?
-Shut up.
-What? Oh hey.
Your gift.
What is this?
I brought underwear that
glows in the dark for you.
Madhu will enjoy it.
-Here.
-Gross.
Hey! What the hell
-Who did this to you?
-Forget it.
Tell me, who did it?
Would you come to save me?
No man, I am a true friend.
I would get beat up
along with you.
Hey! Let's change the mood now.
-Let's go.
-Where? I have work!
Forget work. Come on.
It will take 10 minutes.
They made a new bridge
on Sodawala road.
The CM is coming there to
cut the ribbon.
-Shetty will be there too.
-Then go with him!
Oh, come on! We can even get
a birthday party for free.
You know, they
are going to give out
vada pav and cold
drinks for free, right?
Who will take care of the latrine?
The people who use it! Now
let's go check out the bridge.
SODAWALA BRIDGE FALLS,
7 WOUNDED, 1 DEAD
Hey Peter!
Namaskar!
I would like to give
a warm welcome
to all of my brothers and
sisters gathered here.
I am grateful to all of you for
gathering here
in this sweltering heat.
Will you tell me what happened?
I was attacked last night.
Some people beat me
up in the back lanes.
And they stole Aunt's money.
Son of a bitch!
Look,
there is no need to
worry. Don't worry.
Shetty doesn't
take people's lives.
Deepak used to handle
the money before you.
He stole the money
so he cut his arms off.
He might
cut off your legs.
You will go from
Vasya to handicap.
But you don't need to worry.
You can still work at the latrine.
Because you don't
need legs to sit.
He is cracking jokes out here.
Didn't this bridge fall?
Did you hit your head, dumbass?
They just made this bridge.
Why are you jinxing it
and saying it will fall?
It will open at 2:30 pm.
But just like our party
this bridge is a beacon of hope.
Aunt is calling.
Come on, pick up.
Hello?
Yes, Aunt? Hello?
-Yes, Aunt?
-Where are you?
The party is here for the money.
No Aunt, I have
stepped out for a bit.
Yes?
No, I am here at the
opening for the bridge.
-I will give it tomorrow.
-Hello? I can't hear you.
Yes, I will give it
to you tomorrow.
I can't hear you, Aunt.
Hello? Hello?
Hello?
Aunt?
Go, my child.
You are now free from slavery.
You will receive everything
before everyone else.