Taaza Khabar (2023) s01e02 Episode Script
Vardaan
1
Aunt?
I had to give her this.
Where should I put it?
Put it on the bed.
Give me Aunt's number.
-Sit.
-What?
Sit down.
9969
-Should I repeat it?
-No.
Thank you.
Wha Wha Wh
What is your name?
Madhubala.
Madhu.
And yours?
Vasant.
Vasya.
Vasya, are there
any ladies at home?
Yes, my mother.
One minute.
This is for your mother.
From Madhu creations.
Thank you.
It's ringing.
Your phone is ringing.
Pick it up.
It's Aunt.
Where are all the doctors?
Let's check here.
Go ahead. Take him with you.
MUMBAI: SUDDEN POWER CU
IN BYCULLA
MUMBAI: CYCLE STRIKE IN
LALBAUG CAUSES TRAFFIC JAM
23 CHINESE APPS BANNED IN INDIA
ACTOR RAJ ARYAN HAS BEEN ARRESTED
Sister! Get the bed ready.
Sir! There is going to be
a power outage tonight.
Please make arrangements
for a generator truck.
How do you know?
My uncle works at the BMC.
Call Dr. Ruhana.
And tell the truck driver
to avoid the Lalbaug flyover.
There will be a protest there.
Are you a traffic cop?
No, my aunt's husband is.
Let go of me.
Your uncle is in the BMC
And in the traffic police
while you're roaming around in
a hospital like you're unemployed.
-Don't you have a job?
-Listen to me, sir.
Hey Vasya! Let's go.
Are you done with
your social service?
Let's go.
I think Shetty is the one
behind all of this.
Why would he steal
his own money?
Because he is jealous of you.
-Why?
-Because I love you.
Do you love me?
You never do anything
when you come to meet me.
You just sit outside
thinking about it.
Does it hurt?
But I didn't call you here
to talk about that.
Look at this.
I have a boon.
On this phone,
I receive all the news
before it even happens.
It's like, getting the news
before the incident occurs.
Look at this.
-What?
-The earthquake in Delhi.
Are you okay?
There is nothing on here.
-You can't see it?
-No.
DELHI ROCKED BY AN EARTHQUAKE
Hey, isn't that
your favourite hero?
He is going to prison tonight.
So what?
He deserves it.
Listen to me.
Look at this.
Shetty left the
Janta Navnirman Party
and shifted to another party.
To become the Deputy CM
in the coming election.
This is going to cause trouble,
I am telling you.
Are you high?
I got my hands on magic!
The news I receive on this
phone comes true eventually!
I receive news before
it even happens, Madhu.
You have such a powerful
boon and you manage a latrine?
I am telling you the truth.
This is a huge problem!
First I had the money
stolen and now this.
Please help me, my dear.
If I don't return Aunt's
money by tomorrow
then Shetty's boys will
show up at my house.
-What should I do with this boon?
-Shove it up your ass.
Yes, Aunt? Yes, I was
just getting some bread.
I will be right there.
Look, forget about all of this.
And think of a way to
return Shetty's money.
And give me my fees.
Bro! Bro!
-Bro! There is a huge problem!
-What happened?
Shetty has changed parties!
That bastard is a traitor!
He is not picking up.
It looks like that useless guy
has disappeared with my money.
If I don't get my
money by tomorrow,
then that boy will disappear.
Forever.
Baby.
My best friend.
-He is a nice guy.
-Let's go.
-Baby, baby.
-Let's go.
You go up.
Make mood.
Peter come soon.
Okay. Okay.
Hey fucker, what is wrong?
What happened?
Forget it. Everyone
thinks I am an idiot.
What happened, man?
Tell me. What happened?
Why?
Even I want to call you an idiot.
It was just a joke! Sorry, sorry.
Please, tell me.
Tell me. What happened?
I am facing a weird new problem.
I have a boon.
-What?
-On this phone,
I receive news about every
incident before it occurs.
Really?
Smelling piss and shit all-day
has turned your brain to shit.
I have a boon! Shut up!
Look at this.
In Chor Bazaar,
inside a vase in a shop
known as Royal Antique,
a customer discovers gold.
The customer bought
the vase for 50,000
and sold it for 9 lakhs.
9 lakhs?
I am fucking sober now!
Are you serious?
Do you have a photo?
Yes, but you won't
be able to see it.
What? Why not?
Because it hasn't happened yet!
This is my boon, only I can see it.
Before it even happens.
It's like magic.
Magic?
My friend.
We can become the kings of Bombay!
Do you believe my story?
I can't believe the
fact that I am alive,
but I still keep living. Don't I?
Let's see if you have a boon
or you're just high.
When you say you get the
news before it even happens
How early do you
receive it exactly?
The news about the rain
I received that six
hours in advance.
I got the news about the bridge
falling one hour in advance.
And I received the news
about the vase one day ago.
The time of the incident is
written on top of the article.
But it's not fixed.
Fine. Fine. Fine.
How about we start by
concentrating on buying the vase.
-But how do we get the money?
-Hey.
-Do you have it?
-No.
No, I mean Let's try to
figure it out tomorrow morning.
We can get money anytime!
And besides
baby is in the mood upstairs.
And downstairs in my pants
Little Peter has
turned into Spider-man.
Got it? See you.
Let's try it tomorrow morning.
Baby!
Baby? Baby.
Dumbass.
Shazia!
-Go ahead.
-Yes, he asked for
two cream rolls, three chicken
pattice and two kheema pav.
Total 153 rupees.
That's right.
It's 153 sir.
Here.
This is 150. It's 153.
Your bread was stale last time.
No sir, everything
we sell is fresh.
Oh no!
I know more about
bread than you do.
He says it's fresh
He wants to teach me.
No sir, you are
Yes, tell me what you want.
Everything is fresh!
That guy
Shazia!
I am going to make a round
around Sun Tower to sell eggs.
Please keep an eye on the shop.
-Mehboob?
-Yes?
-I needed to talk to you.
-Sure, go-ahead Vasant.
I have a boon.
My phone receives news
before it even happens.
-What?
-I have a boon.
On this phone,
I receive news before
it even happens.
Are you on something?
Well you know Shetty right?
I lost his money. 5 lakhs.
5 lakhs?
Oh, God.
Did you really lose
it or did you take it?
But stop with all this
nonsense about boons.
Listen, I need an investor.
Someone who trusts me.
I will definitely double or triple
your investment in two days.
Do you know that
all the addicts in our
neighbourhood say these things.
Just take a risk and
see what happens.
I own a bakery
which doesn't make money
for two days in a row sometimes!
I don't want to take a risk.
Listen to me.
Don't get involved with
these shady people.
Work hard at your job!
But Mehboob!
Uncle!
Vasya!
Vasya!
-My father is dead!
-What?
Back in my village,
my father passed away.
That's what I told
Madhu and Mehboob.
And I got the money
to buy the vase.
We have to make 9 lakhs, right?
Forget about this
pocket change. Let's go.
Wait! Hey, Peter!
Wait!
We are so lost.
Do you know where
Royal Antiques is?
-I don't know.
-This dumbass has no clue.
Do people even live here?
-Oh man.
-How do we find this place?
Where is this shop of yours?
It would have been easier
to look for treasure in the sea
instead of looking for
a shop in Chor Bazaar.
Just wait. Stop crying.
Should we check ahead?
Where is it Vasya?
Look! The treasure in the sea.
Hey, that's Goyal antiques!
My phone's screen is broken
and that is why I read
Goyal as Royal.
Let's go.
What do you need, sir?
Um I
Till what time
is the shop open?
We just opened it, sir.
Half an hour back.
Oh, so you make jokes too?
You look like an antique too!
I want this.
Go and get a bill for it.
I will.
Pack this. Here.
This is 50,000.
And this is a
100-rupee tip for you.
At least ask for the price first.
-It costs 2 lakhs.
-What? 2 lakhs?
Yes.
-That is too much.
-Then don't buy it.
Look, let's not bargain.
-How about 55?
-If you don't want it then leave.
Don't mess with me early
in the morning. Get out.
Fine, we don't want it.
Keep it. I don't want it.
Don't just stare at me!
Stop him! Don't let him get away!
He broke my vase!
If we caught him we could
have made him pay the money
What do we do now?
-What do you want?
-How much for this?
It is a damaged piece, sir.
So, how much?
Take for 50,000.
Yeah, keep going.
Hey, check that news again.
You said the vase
was for 50,000!
I read it properly.
I don't know how
Hurry up and check it again.
Japan's former Prime Minister
has passed away.
He can go fuck himself.
See if there is anything else.
A small businessman from
Anujwadi, Manish Bhosle,
answers worth
1 crore rupees.
He won a substantial prize
money on a live game show.
Our Manish Bhosle?
-Manish Bhosle who?
-He is
-He is
-Who is he?
He is Madhu's
friend.
-Give me your phone. Hurry.
-Did I get a message too?
-Yes?
-Madhu? Where are you?
I am buying dress materials.
I need a favour.
Go ahead.
Give me Manish Bhosle's number.
-Why?
-He might be involved in something.
Forget that asshole.
He is very wild.
Just give me the number.
Fine, I am sending it.
And listen, you need to
disappear for a few days.
Shetty is looking for you.
Send it to Peter's number.
I will.
Welcome back,
this is a live quiz show.
You don't get any
second chances here.
So, Mr. Bhosle!
You have already
won 25 lakh rupees.
The next question is for
50 lakh rupees.
And the question
is from history.
The third Battle of Panipat
The third Battle of Panipat
was won by which side?
I will now give you options.
Option A.
Ahmad Shah Durrani.
Option B. Timur Shah Durrani.
Option C. Emperor Akbar.
Or Option D.
Mehboob Gir is the second.
Please think carefully
before answering.
Wow, it looks like
he knows the answer.
-Vasya, I forgot to tell you.
-Mr. Bhosle's answer is
-Bhosle can't speak.
-Option A.
Ahmad Shah Durrani.
Sorry.
What do you think?
Is this the right answer?
He is absolutely right!
You have won 50 lakhs!
Congratulations Mr. Bhosle!
Oh, this dumb man won 50 lakhs!
Hurry up and call him.
Hurry.
But we will continue
after this break.
-Hello?
-Hey, Bhosle?
Bhosle is busy. This is his wife
speaking. Call him back later.
Mr. Bhosle is busy. Okay,
I will call again later Wait.
I know the answer to the
question worth 1 crore rupees.
And who are you?
Vasya. The price for the
correct answer is
30 lakhs.
Vasya who?
-Latrine manager.
-Alpa's son?
Hey! I have the answer.
And the price is 30 lakhs.
Do you want it?
Why would I give you 30 lakhs?
If Bhosle quits, he will take
10 lakh home with him.
If he gives the wrong answer
then that goes down to 1 lakh.
And if he wins
he gets 1 crore.
I can change your fate
before the TV people.
Sir, you will be introduced
again after the break.
And your medical
That is my husband!
I have to give him
prasad for good luck.
Welcome back to Jeeto 1 Crore
the live quiz show.
Mr. Bhosle has been playing
really well and has won 50 lakhs!
And now we have the
question for 1 crore.
Mr. Bhosle
What's going on here?
Where is Mehboob?
He is praying namaz.
Okay, Mr. Bhosle would
like to answer the question
for 1 crore and keep playing.
The question is,
what is the capital
of the country known as Kiribati.
Option A. Bairiki.
Option B.
Tarawa.
Option C.
Hey! T for Tarawa!
Rawannawi.
Or option D.
Tabiauea.
Son of a bitch! Why not
give him the full answer?
What is the point of
giving them T?
Bloody dumbass.
I can't see it!
The screen is broken.
You cannot quit anymore,
you have to answer this Mr. Bhosle.
Mr. Bhosle's answer is
Option B.
Tarawa.
Hah! He lost the money.
The right answer is Tabiauea.
I’m unable to understand.
Is this a blessing or a curse?
Is this a rain of good fortune
or is fate pissing on me?
Aunt?
I had to give her this.
Where should I put it?
Put it on the bed.
Give me Aunt's number.
-Sit.
-What?
Sit down.
9969
-Should I repeat it?
-No.
Thank you.
Wha Wha Wh
What is your name?
Madhubala.
Madhu.
And yours?
Vasant.
Vasya.
Vasya, are there
any ladies at home?
Yes, my mother.
One minute.
This is for your mother.
From Madhu creations.
Thank you.
It's ringing.
Your phone is ringing.
Pick it up.
It's Aunt.
Where are all the doctors?
Let's check here.
Go ahead. Take him with you.
MUMBAI: SUDDEN POWER CU
IN BYCULLA
MUMBAI: CYCLE STRIKE IN
LALBAUG CAUSES TRAFFIC JAM
23 CHINESE APPS BANNED IN INDIA
ACTOR RAJ ARYAN HAS BEEN ARRESTED
Sister! Get the bed ready.
Sir! There is going to be
a power outage tonight.
Please make arrangements
for a generator truck.
How do you know?
My uncle works at the BMC.
Call Dr. Ruhana.
And tell the truck driver
to avoid the Lalbaug flyover.
There will be a protest there.
Are you a traffic cop?
No, my aunt's husband is.
Let go of me.
Your uncle is in the BMC
And in the traffic police
while you're roaming around in
a hospital like you're unemployed.
-Don't you have a job?
-Listen to me, sir.
Hey Vasya! Let's go.
Are you done with
your social service?
Let's go.
I think Shetty is the one
behind all of this.
Why would he steal
his own money?
Because he is jealous of you.
-Why?
-Because I love you.
Do you love me?
You never do anything
when you come to meet me.
You just sit outside
thinking about it.
Does it hurt?
But I didn't call you here
to talk about that.
Look at this.
I have a boon.
On this phone,
I receive all the news
before it even happens.
It's like, getting the news
before the incident occurs.
Look at this.
-What?
-The earthquake in Delhi.
Are you okay?
There is nothing on here.
-You can't see it?
-No.
DELHI ROCKED BY AN EARTHQUAKE
Hey, isn't that
your favourite hero?
He is going to prison tonight.
So what?
He deserves it.
Listen to me.
Look at this.
Shetty left the
Janta Navnirman Party
and shifted to another party.
To become the Deputy CM
in the coming election.
This is going to cause trouble,
I am telling you.
Are you high?
I got my hands on magic!
The news I receive on this
phone comes true eventually!
I receive news before
it even happens, Madhu.
You have such a powerful
boon and you manage a latrine?
I am telling you the truth.
This is a huge problem!
First I had the money
stolen and now this.
Please help me, my dear.
If I don't return Aunt's
money by tomorrow
then Shetty's boys will
show up at my house.
-What should I do with this boon?
-Shove it up your ass.
Yes, Aunt? Yes, I was
just getting some bread.
I will be right there.
Look, forget about all of this.
And think of a way to
return Shetty's money.
And give me my fees.
Bro! Bro!
-Bro! There is a huge problem!
-What happened?
Shetty has changed parties!
That bastard is a traitor!
He is not picking up.
It looks like that useless guy
has disappeared with my money.
If I don't get my
money by tomorrow,
then that boy will disappear.
Forever.
Baby.
My best friend.
-He is a nice guy.
-Let's go.
-Baby, baby.
-Let's go.
You go up.
Make mood.
Peter come soon.
Okay. Okay.
Hey fucker, what is wrong?
What happened?
Forget it. Everyone
thinks I am an idiot.
What happened, man?
Tell me. What happened?
Why?
Even I want to call you an idiot.
It was just a joke! Sorry, sorry.
Please, tell me.
Tell me. What happened?
I am facing a weird new problem.
I have a boon.
-What?
-On this phone,
I receive news about every
incident before it occurs.
Really?
Smelling piss and shit all-day
has turned your brain to shit.
I have a boon! Shut up!
Look at this.
In Chor Bazaar,
inside a vase in a shop
known as Royal Antique,
a customer discovers gold.
The customer bought
the vase for 50,000
and sold it for 9 lakhs.
9 lakhs?
I am fucking sober now!
Are you serious?
Do you have a photo?
Yes, but you won't
be able to see it.
What? Why not?
Because it hasn't happened yet!
This is my boon, only I can see it.
Before it even happens.
It's like magic.
Magic?
My friend.
We can become the kings of Bombay!
Do you believe my story?
I can't believe the
fact that I am alive,
but I still keep living. Don't I?
Let's see if you have a boon
or you're just high.
When you say you get the
news before it even happens
How early do you
receive it exactly?
The news about the rain
I received that six
hours in advance.
I got the news about the bridge
falling one hour in advance.
And I received the news
about the vase one day ago.
The time of the incident is
written on top of the article.
But it's not fixed.
Fine. Fine. Fine.
How about we start by
concentrating on buying the vase.
-But how do we get the money?
-Hey.
-Do you have it?
-No.
No, I mean Let's try to
figure it out tomorrow morning.
We can get money anytime!
And besides
baby is in the mood upstairs.
And downstairs in my pants
Little Peter has
turned into Spider-man.
Got it? See you.
Let's try it tomorrow morning.
Baby!
Baby? Baby.
Dumbass.
Shazia!
-Go ahead.
-Yes, he asked for
two cream rolls, three chicken
pattice and two kheema pav.
Total 153 rupees.
That's right.
It's 153 sir.
Here.
This is 150. It's 153.
Your bread was stale last time.
No sir, everything
we sell is fresh.
Oh no!
I know more about
bread than you do.
He says it's fresh
He wants to teach me.
No sir, you are
Yes, tell me what you want.
Everything is fresh!
That guy
Shazia!
I am going to make a round
around Sun Tower to sell eggs.
Please keep an eye on the shop.
-Mehboob?
-Yes?
-I needed to talk to you.
-Sure, go-ahead Vasant.
I have a boon.
My phone receives news
before it even happens.
-What?
-I have a boon.
On this phone,
I receive news before
it even happens.
Are you on something?
Well you know Shetty right?
I lost his money. 5 lakhs.
5 lakhs?
Oh, God.
Did you really lose
it or did you take it?
But stop with all this
nonsense about boons.
Listen, I need an investor.
Someone who trusts me.
I will definitely double or triple
your investment in two days.
Do you know that
all the addicts in our
neighbourhood say these things.
Just take a risk and
see what happens.
I own a bakery
which doesn't make money
for two days in a row sometimes!
I don't want to take a risk.
Listen to me.
Don't get involved with
these shady people.
Work hard at your job!
But Mehboob!
Uncle!
Vasya!
Vasya!
-My father is dead!
-What?
Back in my village,
my father passed away.
That's what I told
Madhu and Mehboob.
And I got the money
to buy the vase.
We have to make 9 lakhs, right?
Forget about this
pocket change. Let's go.
Wait! Hey, Peter!
Wait!
We are so lost.
Do you know where
Royal Antiques is?
-I don't know.
-This dumbass has no clue.
Do people even live here?
-Oh man.
-How do we find this place?
Where is this shop of yours?
It would have been easier
to look for treasure in the sea
instead of looking for
a shop in Chor Bazaar.
Just wait. Stop crying.
Should we check ahead?
Where is it Vasya?
Look! The treasure in the sea.
Hey, that's Goyal antiques!
My phone's screen is broken
and that is why I read
Goyal as Royal.
Let's go.
What do you need, sir?
Um I
Till what time
is the shop open?
We just opened it, sir.
Half an hour back.
Oh, so you make jokes too?
You look like an antique too!
I want this.
Go and get a bill for it.
I will.
Pack this. Here.
This is 50,000.
And this is a
100-rupee tip for you.
At least ask for the price first.
-It costs 2 lakhs.
-What? 2 lakhs?
Yes.
-That is too much.
-Then don't buy it.
Look, let's not bargain.
-How about 55?
-If you don't want it then leave.
Don't mess with me early
in the morning. Get out.
Fine, we don't want it.
Keep it. I don't want it.
Don't just stare at me!
Stop him! Don't let him get away!
He broke my vase!
If we caught him we could
have made him pay the money
What do we do now?
-What do you want?
-How much for this?
It is a damaged piece, sir.
So, how much?
Take for 50,000.
Yeah, keep going.
Hey, check that news again.
You said the vase
was for 50,000!
I read it properly.
I don't know how
Hurry up and check it again.
Japan's former Prime Minister
has passed away.
He can go fuck himself.
See if there is anything else.
A small businessman from
Anujwadi, Manish Bhosle,
answers worth
1 crore rupees.
He won a substantial prize
money on a live game show.
Our Manish Bhosle?
-Manish Bhosle who?
-He is
-He is
-Who is he?
He is Madhu's
friend.
-Give me your phone. Hurry.
-Did I get a message too?
-Yes?
-Madhu? Where are you?
I am buying dress materials.
I need a favour.
Go ahead.
Give me Manish Bhosle's number.
-Why?
-He might be involved in something.
Forget that asshole.
He is very wild.
Just give me the number.
Fine, I am sending it.
And listen, you need to
disappear for a few days.
Shetty is looking for you.
Send it to Peter's number.
I will.
Welcome back,
this is a live quiz show.
You don't get any
second chances here.
So, Mr. Bhosle!
You have already
won 25 lakh rupees.
The next question is for
50 lakh rupees.
And the question
is from history.
The third Battle of Panipat
The third Battle of Panipat
was won by which side?
I will now give you options.
Option A.
Ahmad Shah Durrani.
Option B. Timur Shah Durrani.
Option C. Emperor Akbar.
Or Option D.
Mehboob Gir is the second.
Please think carefully
before answering.
Wow, it looks like
he knows the answer.
-Vasya, I forgot to tell you.
-Mr. Bhosle's answer is
-Bhosle can't speak.
-Option A.
Ahmad Shah Durrani.
Sorry.
What do you think?
Is this the right answer?
He is absolutely right!
You have won 50 lakhs!
Congratulations Mr. Bhosle!
Oh, this dumb man won 50 lakhs!
Hurry up and call him.
Hurry.
But we will continue
after this break.
-Hello?
-Hey, Bhosle?
Bhosle is busy. This is his wife
speaking. Call him back later.
Mr. Bhosle is busy. Okay,
I will call again later Wait.
I know the answer to the
question worth 1 crore rupees.
And who are you?
Vasya. The price for the
correct answer is
30 lakhs.
Vasya who?
-Latrine manager.
-Alpa's son?
Hey! I have the answer.
And the price is 30 lakhs.
Do you want it?
Why would I give you 30 lakhs?
If Bhosle quits, he will take
10 lakh home with him.
If he gives the wrong answer
then that goes down to 1 lakh.
And if he wins
he gets 1 crore.
I can change your fate
before the TV people.
Sir, you will be introduced
again after the break.
And your medical
That is my husband!
I have to give him
prasad for good luck.
Welcome back to Jeeto 1 Crore
the live quiz show.
Mr. Bhosle has been playing
really well and has won 50 lakhs!
And now we have the
question for 1 crore.
Mr. Bhosle
What's going on here?
Where is Mehboob?
He is praying namaz.
Okay, Mr. Bhosle would
like to answer the question
for 1 crore and keep playing.
The question is,
what is the capital
of the country known as Kiribati.
Option A. Bairiki.
Option B.
Tarawa.
Option C.
Hey! T for Tarawa!
Rawannawi.
Or option D.
Tabiauea.
Son of a bitch! Why not
give him the full answer?
What is the point of
giving them T?
Bloody dumbass.
I can't see it!
The screen is broken.
You cannot quit anymore,
you have to answer this Mr. Bhosle.
Mr. Bhosle's answer is
Option B.
Tarawa.
Hah! He lost the money.
The right answer is Tabiauea.
I’m unable to understand.
Is this a blessing or a curse?
Is this a rain of good fortune
or is fate pissing on me?