TaleSpin (1990) s01e13 Episode Script

All's Whale That Ends Whale

[male voice]
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Spin it!
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Let's begin it.
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Friends for life through
thick and thin with another tale to spin
All the trouble we get in
with another tale to spin
Spin it!
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Spin it, my friend.
Oh-ee-yeah, oh-ee-yeah
Oh-ee-yo, oh-ee-yo
Oh-ee-yeah, oh-ee-yeah
Oh-ee-yo, oh-ee-yo
Spin it, let's begin it,
bear and grin it when you're in it
You can win it in a minute
when you spin it, spin it, spin it
Ha ha!
So spin it
TaleSpin! ♪
Next time I decide to take a shortcut,
I won't. Uh-oh!
Hiya, shrimp.
Maybe you didn't know it, but there's a
toll for passing through our territory.
And it's payday.
Oh, yeah?
Well, come and get it, big mouth!
Listen, Lil' Britches, what I wanna know
is why you decided to take on
those street pirates by yourself.
I thought you were smarter than that.
Those nose wipes robbed me.
They grabbed my airfoil
and when they couldn't figure out
what it was, they wrecked it.
Well, now.
It'll never play the violin again,
but I think Wildcat
can fix it up for you.
That's not the point!
It was mine
and they had no right to take it.
When the bad guys
start using their muscles,
you gotta start using your head.
Now, pretend I'm six guys.
[gruff voice] Hey, kid. Nice hat.
Now, what are you gonna do about it?
[Kit grunts]
[tuts] Pathetic.
You're not listening, son.
When you're out-muscled,
you've got to out-think them.
Smart, subtle,
and trickier
than a bathtub full of Jell-O.
- Got it?
- I think so.
[gruff voice] So you think
you can do something about this?
Why, no, but I bet that policeman can.
What cop? Hey!
By George, I think he's got it.
What do you say you and me
go teach those street goons a lesson?
We can't waste time with those nobodies.
There are more important things
on our agenda.
Shh! Treasure.
A lost idol worth millions.
Rebecca will never go for it, Baloo.
You just leave Becky to me.
I've got the perfect story.
[Baloo] So you see, Rebecca,
this sick aunt of mine
really needs my help and I thought
What was this aunt's name again, Baloo?
Uh Er Milly.
Yeah. That's it. Aunt Milly.
That makes 23 sick aunts
in the last six months.
Well, you see, Pop's side of the family
was never very healthy.
It's another treasure hunt, isn't it?
Well, you've earned some time off,
so go get it out of your system.
But be ready for a big
"I told you so" when you come back.
The only reason I'll be coming back
is for the Sea Duck's pink slip.
Have a nice treasure hunt.
Don't hurt yourself
carrying all that loot. [laughs]
[Kit] All right! A treasure hunt!
You know, people have been looking
for this lost idol for years and years.
The only reason
that doohickey is still on the loose
is because old Papa Bear's
never tried his luck.
But since the Sultan of Kafusalum
has offered a 30 million torbit reward,
that little baby isn't
gonna be lonesome much longer.
30 million torbits?
Every treasure hunter in the world's
gonna be after that.
Come on, Kit, boy.
How many treasure hunters
of old Baloo's caliber can there be?
[noisy chatter]
I give up, Baloo. How many can there be?
[Louie] Hey, little boy Baloo!
What do you hear, what do you say?
Louie, old buddy. Hey, what are
all these yahoos doing here?
Same thing you are.
I've made my place
official Idol Hunting Headquarters.
[chuckles] All right, innkeeper.
You got any fresh info
for us fortune hunters?
Nothing that's not as old as the legend.
"The idol is in the land of 1001 lakes."
"Right under your nose."
Right under your nose?
What's that supposed to mean?
- [banging]
- [Kit] Thembrians!
Oh. Wonder what His Shortness
is doing here?
I am Colonel Spigot.
Perhaps you've heard of me.
I am the stuff of your worst nightmares.
I am here to claim that idol
for the glory of my mommy-land,
You are all wasting your time.
The idol is mine!
Anyone who comes
between me and what I want
will be crushed mercilessly
beneath my boot.
The only reason Spigot can find anything
is because he's closer to the ground.
Ah, Baloo. What are you doing here?
Hunting idols?
Nah. I ordered a three-bean salad
and I only got two.
Just hanging around,
waiting for the other one to show up.
The only thing you have to wait for now
is the wrath of Spigot
and you won't have to wait long.
[Baloo] Right under your nose.
- What did you say?
- [Louie] Never mind what he said.
This is my bar and it's what I say
that counts. Now, drop that bear.
Thanks, Louie I think.
I'll stop by for a short visit, Spiggy,
if I'm ever down your way.
- [Baloo] Yahoo-ee!
- [Kit] What's gotten into you?
[Baloo laughs]
I know what's under my nose!
- You know where the idol is?
- "Hope to kiss a rhino" I do.
[Baloo] Now, look at the map.
Look at Moose Lake.
No. Hold the map right side up.
Hey, I see it!
Those aren't antlers, it's a moustache.
By George, I think he's got it.
Arthur Lake Veronica Lake
There it is! Moose Lake.
[Baloo] All we have to do is land
and get our idol.
[Kit] The water looks funny.
[Baloo] Oh, water's water.
We'll land east of the nostril.
It's like trying to land
on a banana peel!
Land ho!
[both yell]
Like I said,
we'll land west of the nostril.
[Kit grunts] No wonder it was slippery.
This lagoon is mostly oily sludge.
Just keep paddling, Kit.
Once we hit that island,
we'll be on easy street.
Easy street, huh?
I'd settle for a nice path.
When we get that idol, you can
buy yourself a highway to play with.
[both yell]
[pants] We made it.
We should be right under the nose.
Hey, look at this.
I wonder what happens when
- Thanks, Baloo.
- No trouble, Lil' Britches.
Just never trust a bubble
you don't blow yourself.
Now, let's find that oversized
paperweight and get outta here.
[Kit] Do you think it's booby-trapped?
[Baloo] Does a bear sleep in the woods?
But this booby's too smart for 'em.
What did I tell you?
[Baloo] Oops.
Well, that wasn't so bad.
Look out!
We got it, Lil' Britches.
And no two people deserve it more.
[Spigot] Yes.
And it's so very sad
you won't be able to keep it.
Now listen, Spiggy,
it isn't right you jitterbugging in here
and swiping that thingy.
Ah, but it is right,
you silly Baloo-boo,
because might makes right
and I have the might.
- How did you find us anyway?
- [Spigot laughs]
I simply examined the clues
and my scintillating intellect
deciphered where the idol was.
Yeah. And then we followed you.
- Who asked you?
- Sorry, Colonel.
What is it?
Ah, yes. It's time we departed.
And on the way home we'll stop
and flaunt my triumph at Louie's.
Just wait till I get my hands on you!
I would love to finish
this delightful conversation,
but I hate the smell of scorched fur.
Farewell. [cackles]
[Kit] I don't suppose you have a knife?
Sorry, Kit. The closest thing
I've got is a shoulder blade.
Whoa! Hey, you're rocking the boat.
I think I can
- [grunts]
- Attaboy!
[Kit] Come on. Come on
- I can't reach.
- You can't, but we can.
I got it!
- Hang on, buddy.
- I can't hold on much longer.
Don't let go!
Baloo, are you all right?
Whoa. That's what I call
using your head.
Now, if we could just get you
to use my head a little more gently.
Now, let's go get our idol back.
And so, I, the irrepressible Spigot,
have once again displayed
inherent superiority
and insurmountable will.
So what's a bigshot like you
gonna do with that bodacious reward?
Reward? This achievement
was for the glory of Thembria!
Where the idol will be displayed
as a trophy to my greatness.
The only place that idol's going
is back in my hands!
- But I found it.
- You stole it!
I found it. Of course,
you were holding it at the time,
but you proved no match for Spigot,
the might that makes right.
The only right you should worry about
is mine. And my left too.
Now, are you gonna give me back that
idol or are we gonna have trouble?
- [whacking]
- [Baloo yells]
- Uh, Baloo
- Not now, kid. I got munchkins to mush.
- [clattering]
- [whacking]
[Baloo yells]
Baloo! They're too big.
[slurs] Don't worry about me, kid. The
bigger they are, the harder they punch.
Hey, Baloo, old palooka?
You want any back-up?
Thanks, Louie,
but this is between me and them.
- [crashing]
- [Baloo yells]
What Baloo needs between him and them
is about three inches of concrete.
Gentlemen, there's a fly boy in my soup.
They'll never expect an air raid.
[Baloo yells]
All right! No more Mr. Nice Guy!
- [whacking]
- [Baloo yells]
Baloo, wait!
Just give me a minute, kid.
I'll get it this time for sure.
Papa Bear! You're outnumbered
and you're outmuscled.
Isn't it about time
you started using your head?
Where'd you get a silly idea like that?
- You taught me.
- Huh?
You know, smart [grunts]
subtle [grunts]
Yeah, yeah. I remember.
So why am I driving myself crazy?
When we can have a lot more fun
driving Spiggy crazy.
By George,
I think Spigot's gonna get it.
Eat your hearts out,
you paltry peasants.
[wails] It's you! It's you!
Oh, you horrible shrunken piece
of supernatural nastiness.
- Are you speaking of Colonel Spigot?
- Oh, no, round one.
I am speaking
to the other horrible shrunken piece
of supernatural nastiness.
That's all right then.
- Ow! Sorry.
- What's the meaning of this?
Oh mighty small one,
the idol, it is cursed, cursed!
Cursed? Don't be ridiculous. Hold this.
It is true. Unless you keep your eye on
it every moment, it will drive you mad.
Get rid of it. Before it is too late.
Fool! Give me that.
I'm watching you.
Everything is under my complete control.
The idol will stay in that case
until I personally ensconce it
in the National Museum of Thembria.
Now go up and make sure
this is a smooth trip home.
I don't wish to be disturbed.
OK, Lil' Britches.
Time to make our curse come true.
Man, I have to lay off
of Louie's banana burritos.
[Spigot snores]
Eh? [groans]
[Spigot groans]
Wakey-wakey, short pants.
[Spigot yells]
Dunder! Come here at once!
You called, Colonel? Ow!
Whatever you were doing,
don't do it anymore.
Yes, sir. I'm terribly sorry, sir.
Now, get out! And I don't want
any more disturbances.
Yes, sir. I mean no, sir.
[imitates Spigot]
Dunder! Come here at once!
[snores] Uh?
You called, Colonel?
- No, I did not call Colonel!
- But someone did.
That nasty idol's not bothering you,
is it, Colonel?
No, no, no!
That idol is not bothering me.
Only small minds yield to superstition.
Now leave me alone!
[male voice] Sorry.
You don't frighten me.
I will not succumb
to your wily wooden ways.
You see how unconcerned I am. See?
[Spigot yells]
[Spigot groans]
The idol, that nasty wooden thing,
it's trying to get me.
The idol is trying to get you?
The idol was not doing anything.
It is just a piece of wood.
- But you said
- Don't listen to what I said.
Listen to what I'm saying.
I simply need a little rest.
I am somewhat touched
by my overwhelming triumph.
I will not be disturbed.
- Understand?
- [gulps] Yes, sir.
[both chuckle]
- Got the glue?
- Yes.
I believe, I believe, I believe.
Be gone, you nasty doodad, you!
Thanks, Colonel!
Nice to see you changed your mind!
[Baloo] That's right, Becky.
You can save your "I told you so's" and
break out the pink slip on the Sea Duck.
Papa's coming home
with his pockets full of torbits.
- That'll be eight shaboozies, Baloo.
- Hold on, Becky.
Haven't got any shaboozies right now.
What'll it be in torbits?
Let me see
At the current rate of exchange
You know, Rebecca,
if you play your cards right,
I might be able to give you a job.
Well, including ice cream tab,
sales tax and tip,
it comes to 13 million torbits
right on the mizuma.
[gulps] Rebecca,
I'll be back to work tomorrow.
Oh, um And can I reverse the charges?
Another tale to spin
Another tale to spin
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
Oh-oh oh-oh oh
[Baloo] Ha ha ha!
TaleSpin ♪
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