TaleSpin (1990) s01e18 Episode Script

On a Wing and a Bear

[male voice]
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Spin it!
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Let's begin it.
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Friends for life through
thick and thin with another tale to spin
All the trouble we get in
with another tale to spin
Spin it!
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Spin it, my friend.
Oh-ee-yeah, oh-ee-yeah
Oh-ee-yo, oh-ee-yo
Oh-ee-yeah, oh-ee-yeah
Oh-ee-yo, oh-ee-yo
Spin it, let's begin it,
bear and grin it when you're in it
You can win it in a minute
when you spin it, spin it, spin it
Ha ha!
So spin it
TaleSpin! ♪
[male voice] "Welcome, one and all, to
the Cape Suzette Friendship Festival."
"Our fair city applauds the digni"
Excuse me, please.
"Applauds the digni" Hey!
- Sorry. Let me see
- [drill whirrs]
- "The dignitaries have traveled"
- [crashing]
Watch it. "To join us
in goodwill and brotherhood"
[Kit] Wow!
Look at all the planes, Baloo.
A Groman C-60
and there's a Breskin 1-11.
[Baloo] Yeah. There's
a Krellman Special from Nosanbique.
[Kit] This is great.
Yup, Lil' Britches. Aviation heaven.
Red hots!
Get your delicious red-hot hot dogs!
Special Friendship Festival price,
OK. $3.00!
98 cents?
Probably just had breakfast.
We'll get rich selling them once the
Friendship Festival begins. Won't we?
Can you think of a friendlier food?
Can't say that I can.
[engine whines]
[both] Thembrians.
Ah, Cape Suzette.
The soft, white underbelly of the world.
[sniffs] Smell the decadence.
[sniffs] Smells a little like hot dogs
to me, sir, I think.
Stop with the hot dogs, Sergeant Dunder!
We have more important things to do.
First, where do we go to get processed?
I'm always ready for the proper forms
and paperwork.
I don't think they do
any of those things here, Colonel, sir.
No triplicate E1-18s?
No day-long line?
What way is this to run a country?
It's my fault, sir.
Never mind! I will go see
if preparations are in order
for my grand presentations
of the highly-coveted
and very valuable
Thembrian Golden Sprocket.
Stay and guard it as if your life
depends on it! Because it does.
Remember, this is a Friendship Festival.
You can't trust anyone.
I am Colonel Spigot.
You may have heard of me.
Whatever's in that box is valuable.
So we're gonna steal it.
- Yes. Steal.
- Yeah. We won't pay.
And that hot dog guy's given me
a great idea for a disguise and getaway.
[Baloo] Well, hey, Dunder.
You can't have the very valuable Gold
Sprocket unless you get by me first!
- Mr. Baloo?
- And me, Kit.
We're getting rich selling hot dogs.
I love hot dogs!
On the house 'cause we're pals.
You won't tell Colonel Spigot?
He doesn't like eating on duty.
He'd probably have me shot or worse.
Mum's the word, Dundy.
Now, if you'll excuse us
[Rebecca] Baloo!
I knew I'd find you two down here.
What is this ridiculous outfit?
- Fortune, lady. Fortune.
- I'll fortune you!
You haul your hot dog bun outta here
right now.
I'm moving, I'm moving.
Piano. Address. Deliver.
But, Becky, that'll take all day.
We were gonna work the crowd
at the festival.
Fine. Sell your hot dogs
after you move the piano.
Hey! Move your keys, hot dog!
I'm going as fast as I can.
Road hog!
Kit, we need help.
Right, Papa Bear.
Someone big, willing and likes hot dogs.
You got any ideas?
[Baloo] Now, this will disguise you.
No one will know.
But, Mr. Baloo, I can't desert my post.
I'm sure Colonel Spigot
will rip out my spleen
or do something really bad to me.
Oh, you're loyal.
I like that in a Thembrian.
- But I have a problem.
- I have some salve.
No, it's Well, I thought
we were buddies. Friends, maybe.
- Well
- And friends help each other.
Now, if I don't deliver that piano,
I'm gonna be in big, big trouble.
Gosh. I don't want you
to get into trouble.
Then you'll help?
I guess. We'll be back
before Colonel Spigot does?
Of course, pal. Have a hot dog.
Almost there, Dundy. Just a few more
- Come on, come on.
- They're probably at the festival.
And hankering for a Baloo Friendship
Special with everything. Let's go.
- But I have to get back to
- It's on our way, pal.
We'll just peek at the crowd
and see if they're getting hungry yet.
I'll let you push the cart.
- Really?
- [Kit] Hot doggers, here we come!
And those were
the Prancing Pygmies from Patagoita
doing their ritual rain conga dance.
[gangster] Look, I'm gonna tell you guys
one more time
We're not selling hot dogs!
- No hot dogs.
- No cats or dogs.
Then why are we dressed like this?
To fool the guy at the airport!
- Oh, right.
- The fool at the airport.
And if he's not fooled,
we blast him with the TNT. Got it?
[both] Right.
- Hey, you. I'll take a hot dog.
- OK.
Sorry. All out.
But you have one in your hand.
So you want a hot dog?
- Catch!
- Thanks.
Boom appetit.
Oh, competition.
This is my turf.
You weenie raiders have a permit?
- Permit?
- Just like I thought.
Police! Police!
Sshh! OK, OK! We're going.
Oh, boy! Did you see 'em run?
Permits! Oh, boy.
Sometimes I crack myself up.
- Look!
- Uh-oh.
Come on, run!
[henchman] OK.
Boss is sure talking funny though.
Made it.
You gotta get up early
in the afternoon to fool old Baloo.
[Spigot] What is going on here?
Why are people
wearing silly outfits near my plane?
Er, well I was um
I was just showing the sarge
the new line of Cape Suzette uniforms.
They're part of the Hot Dog Commandos.
Baloo, only an idiot
would believe a story like that.
[Spigot] Hot Dog Commandos?
I should inform the High Marshal.
He would probably be interested in
having Hot Dog Commandos of his own.
Sergeant Dunder,
my official Thembrian notepad.
I'm speaking to you, Sergeant "Soon
to be shot if you don't answer" Dunder.
- You're not Sergeant Dunder.
- I'm not?
Why aren't you Sergeant Dunder?
I don't know. Why?
Answer me! Stop playing dumb.
I don't think he's playing.
Say, Spiggy, the Sarge was with me.
He'll turn up.
He was just being friendly.
He's not a friendly. He's a Thembrian!
I want to know what's going on here.
- What? What? What?
- [giggles]
Well, I'm not supposed to tell,
but we're gonna steal what's in the box.
Steal the Golden Sprocket?
Steal the Golden Sprocket!
Sshh! It's our big secret.
The sprocket!
Oh, it's safe.
Your doohickey's OK?
Yes, the doohickey's OK. No thanks
to you and your Cape Suzette ways.
Friends indeed! Find Sergeant Dunder!
I shall stand guard.
My speech is at six.
If you're not back by then,
it's going to be war. War! War!
How about a big Cape Suzette hand
for the Juggling Jackals of Jackomanka?
- Ooh! Ah!
- [crashing]
- [Kit] Dunder! Sergeant Dunder!
- [Baloo] Here, boy!
[whistles] Where are you?
Baloo? There's no way he could
have delivered that piano yet.
Hup, two, three, four!
Hup, two, three, five!
Hup, two Halt!
Oh, you're back.
You've found my sergeant?
Sergeant? We're just your friendly
neighborhood hot dog vendors.
Yeah. We're not crooks or nothing.
Hot dogs?
Watch where you're pointing that thing.
It may be loaded.
It's all right.
My bullets are back in Thembria.
They can't leave the country
without an 11-14 form
and we were all out of those.
Gee, that's too bad.
In that case,
hand over what's in the box!
The Golden Sprocket?! Never!
Say, you're not the kid
in the pickle outfit, are you?
Guess not.
We got you outnumbered three to one.
Let's not do anything
I'm going to regret.
Hey, what are you doing
to my fearless leader? Where's Baloo?
What's this? A bogus Poopan?
Where's my other goon?
Aha! Now it's two against two.
Come on, Sergeant Dunder!
Now we've got you outnumbered.
If you won't open the door,
we'll just blast our way in.
- Blast our way in.
- Boom boom.
Please, not my Sprocket.
Help! Mmm
Hey, it's full of weenies.
Er, boss, don't you think that dynamite
would have worked better?
- Yeah, yeah. With a boom.
- All right. Who's got my dynamite?
Excuse me. I'd like a hot dog.
Mister, you came to the right guy.
- [Rebecca] Baloo!
- [both] Uh-oh!
With a million people at the festival,
you'd think
we'd find one little old sergeant.
We were the ones
who lost him in the first place.
I hope he's all right.
So you want me to get tough, eh?
- One of yous has the key. Talk!
- [muffled speech]
- I can't understand a thing.
- He said something.
Sergeant Dunder, swallow the key!
That's an order.
Now try and get it.
[chuckles] Boys, the key, please.
- Yeah. The key.
- We'll get the key.
How are we gonna tell Colonel Spigot
that we couldn't find Sergeant Dunder?
- Beats me, Lil' Britches.
- Baloo, look.
Hey, hey! Spiggy, Dundy.
I told you we'd find the sarge.
Now we can go sell hot dogs.
Get me down from here!
I don't feel too good.
- What happened?
- They stole the Sprocket!
You're to blame! And you're to blame!
And you and you!
And especially you, Sergeant.
I'm going to send for my firing squad.
- All the way from home?
- You'll all be shot!
Especially you, Sergeant Dunder.
You'll have to be shot twice.
- [clock chimes]
- Six o'clock.
Don't you have a presentation to make,
Presentation? [gulps] I have to present
the Golden Sprocket to the Mayor.
- Yeah?
- And there's no Sprocket to present.
- When the High Marshal finds out
- [both] He'll have you shot.
[gulps] The firing squad.
Oh, no, sir. That could never happen.
The penalty for losing international
awards is being fed to polar bears.
Polar bears?!
I don't want to go like Grandma!
You've got to do something.
Hey, no problem.
We'll find your golden doohickey.
But I must present it now.
So stall. Tell a few jokes. You know.
Yeah. Yeah, jokes. Tell a few.
Now, how did that one go?
Why did the flightless water fowl
cross the runway? He didn't!
- Good one. I'll open with that
- Knock 'em dead!
We'd better hurry. I've got a feeling
it's gonna be a tough audience.
[mayor] Aren't they terrific, folks?
Good idea,
hiding box in weenie cart, huh, boss?
- Yeah. Good weenie idea.
- Good idea. My first.
It would have been better
if you'd taken out the weenies first!
Baloo! You haven't
delivered that piano, have you?
Who's the dame?
- What dame?
- I haven't the faintest.
What happened to your voice, Kit?
Kit? Sorry, lady, wrong pickle.
Get rid of her.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. OK. Bye-bye now.
Hey! Wait a minute. Put me down!
Hey, what are you doing? Baloo! Kit!
And now, straight from Thembria,
I'd like to present Colonel Drip
Er, Spigot.
- [fanfare]
- [applause]
[coughs] Yes.
Good evening, ladies and ladies
and gentlemen people.
How many of you are from Thembria?
Hm? Hm?
I tell you,
Thembrian lines are the worst.
I once stood in a line so long,
I had to set my watch back an hour.
[chuckles] An hour because
of the time zone difference.
[Dunder] Oh, a firing squad just for me.
I'm honored.
Colonel Spigot must really like me.
I wish I hadn't let him down.
He needed me and I wasn't there.
- Baloo.
- Yeah?
We got him in a bunch of trouble,
didn't we?
Yeah. Maybe a little.
[Dunder] Wonder if I'll get a blindfold.
Well, maybe a lot.
Hey, Dunder, pal.
I got something I wanna say.
It's just Well
- I've been a weenie.
- You?
You helped me like a friend
and I've gotten you in hot water.
It's all right. I don't mind.
It's only a firing squad.
I'll get you out of this. I promise.
We're gonna find that Golden Sprocket.
- For me?
- That's what friends are for, right?
And then the doctor asks the man,
"What's wrong?"
The penguin replies, "I'm not sure,
but I've got this guy under my feet
that I can't get rid of." [giggles]
Oh, you've heard this one before?
[male voice] What? A piano?
[Rebecca] Let me outta here!
[Baloo] There are those weenie robbers!
- [Kit] After the Sprocket.
- [Rebecca yells]
Baloo, what are you doing? [screams]
Grab that cart!
Gotta get that Sprocket!
Faster! Faster!
[Rebecca screams]
- [crashing]
- [Baloo] Got it! Got it!
Mr. Baloo?
[Spigot hums tune]
Hey, I thought
this was a Friendship Festival.
[Kit yells]
No, you idiot! When I told you
to get the cart, I didn't mean from me!
Take that! [yells]
- Are you all right, Miss Cunningham?
- No, I'm not.
One Golden Sprocket
for my friend Dunder.
- For me?
- [gangster] No. For me!
Hand over the box.
At last, it's mine!
- [rattling]
- What now?
Wait, wait! There's more!
Mr. Mayor,
the Thembrian Golden Sprocket.
For you.
Er, thank you, Colonel Nozzle.
That's Spigot.
Odd customs these Thembrians have.
What a presentation.
The High Marshal will be so proud.
People said
they'd never seen anything like it.
Maybe I'm in the wrong line of work.
Maybe I should go into Dare I say it?
I wanna thank you, Baloo.
Colonel Spigot said I won't have to be
shot now that everything worked out.
A simple flogging will do.
Good for you, Dundy.
I'm sorry I got you into this
in the first place.
And we never did sell a single hot dog,
Well, no, but we made a lot of friends
and isn't that what the
Friendship Festival's all about, Kit?
Nice try, Papa Bear.
Baloo, about this piano
Honest, Becky.
We delivered it to where you told us.
Er, that's what
I was trying to tell you.
I gave you the wrong address.
Why me, Kit? Why me?
Hey, Baloo, you know what they say.
It's a dog eat dog world! [laughs]
Kit, if this piano pushing
don't kill me,
your jokes sure will.
Another tale to spin
Another tale to spin
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
Oh-oh oh-oh oh
[Baloo] Ha ha ha!
TaleSpin ♪
Previous EpisodeNext Episode