TaleSpin (1990) s01e21 Episode Script

The Bigger They Are, the Louder They Oink

[male voice]
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Spin it!
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Let's begin it.
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Friends for life through
thick and thin with another tale to spin
All the trouble we get in
with another tale to spin
Spin it!
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Spin it, my friend.
Oh-ee-yeah, oh-ee-yeah
Oh-ee-yo, oh-ee-yo
Oh-ee-yeah, oh-ee-yeah
Oh-ee-yo, oh-ee-yo
Spin it, let's begin it,
bear and grin it when you're in it
You can win it in a minute
when you spin it, spin it, spin it
Ha ha!
So spin it
TaleSpin! ♪
How did the ocean get up there?
Baloo, are you all right?
Yeah. You know,
this ceiling could use a coat of paint.
[Kit] This doesn't make sense.
There was this bright flash, and zowie!
The whole world
suddenly stood on its head.
That's just what Wily Paul said
on the radio.
This isn't supposed to happen
to the world's greatest pilot.
Louie was right. There's somethin' weird
going on out there.
It was like I was pulled up
into the ocean.
- Monsters?
- No.
Monsters make noise.
- Like that?
- It's back there!
[both] You go first.
[both] OK. We'll both go.
[both] Don Karnage!
No, no, no, no, my friends.
It is "the feared pirate Don Karnage."
And how are you?
I love what you've done with this place.
Put that down.
Oh, my apologies to
the "best pilot in the world!"
A pilot so great he crashes
upside-down in the ocean!
Ah! And here is the best pilot
in the world's best friend in the world.
Mr. Cloudkicker.
What's going on here?
We are stealing your cargo.
We are pirates. It's what we do.
No, I mean the horizon.
Oh, that. See for yourself.
Well, how do you like that?
It's all done with mirrors!
But how'd you build them so big?
Don't be absurd.
We did not build them. We stole them.
The bright flash!
So that's what happened to
Khan's other pilots.
Wait, I see it all now.
Khan was tired of losing his planes,
so he sent you.
Easy. Not in front of the kid.
So. Where is his cargo?
Uh What cargo?
Found it, boss.
Shall we have a look-see?
No! Khan entrusted that painting to me.
- What is it?
- [beeping]
It is a homing device!
- No painting?
- Not even a signature.
You were trying to set me up.
I didn't know.
No, of course not.
Because Khan set you up too.
He pumped grand notions
into the vast emptiness of your head.
Well, if Khan is tracking us, then he's
gonna send his biggest gunship here
and blow you guys out of the water.
Boss, let's go.
We don't stand a chance
against a gunship.
In a fair fight I quite agree.
But think hard,
and suppose they are
lured into a minefield first!
Kaboom! Like that.
Goodbye, adiós.
And we owe it all to you, Baloo.
Why, this thing is gold-plated.
Worthless! Just like you.
It is a shame you did not bring me
treasure like the others.
But I shall make a bundle off the scrap
metal and weapons from Khan's gunship.
In with the other has-beens!
Baloo! Kit!
Wily! You're OK.
We heard you on the radio at Louie's.
Yeah. These pirate creeps tricked me.
But why are you two here?
Because I'm the best idiot in the world.
Khan here. Has he crashed yet?
Just as you predicted, sir.
And is the beeper still functioning?
Absolutely. It's that thief all right.
Don Karnage.
[Khan] Good. Follow the device and blow
those pirates out of my ocean.
Aye-aye, sir.
[distant bell]
Hurry up, you oaf! I want to
get back to the cockroach races.
Then why don't you help?
Can I help it if I have a hangnail?
Watch it!
[muffled shouts]
Uh Sorry, Mad Dog.
Is your hangnail OK?
Oh, what is the matter with you?
You wanna blow us up?
No. That would be bad.
There. Now that gunship
will drive right into these mines.
Yeah. Kaboom!
[evil laughter]
[Kit] Baloo, the pirates have
peppered the area with mines.
And that gunship'll be on them soon.
[Baloo] So?
So guys are gonna get hurt.
We've got to do something.
Huh! I've done enough.
Baloo, what's with you?
Karnage is right.
I'm worthless.
Hey. It's only words.
- Remember?
- Ha!
OK, then just sit tight.
I'll get us out of here.
- Good luck.
- Thanks.
Anybody in here?
Old MacDonald had a farm
Ee-eye ee-eye oh
And on this farm he had an octopus
Ee-eye ee-eye
Hmm. That's not right.
Hey, you kid you.
Look! There's old MacDonald now.
It's clobberin' time.
Hey, you kid you.
Dear Diary.
Today I brought down my fourth airplane.
It was how do you say?
Like taking candy from a baby child.
Falling off a piece of cake.
Easy as pie on the log.
Atchoo! Look what you made me do.
This had better be important,
Mr. I-Have-The-Brains-Of-A-Duck.
Have a look-see.
Look! The ship is taking on water.
Well, get rid of it.
Gimme one good reason.
So I can hit you very hard.
Sorry, but not a good reason.
Get rid of the water. Hmm
Cap'n! How about
I let the water drain out?
- Fine, fine, fine.
- Okey-dokey.
What have you done?
We are sinking!
The ship's sinking! We'll all drown.
Big deal.
[alarm sounds]
Smartypants kid not so brave right now!
[laughs] Is he?
I've sure got you now, little meatball.
Looks like I've got the meatball now.
[alarm continues]
Shut the door!
Scottie, start the engines.
Hey! Meat
Oh, dearie!
Ha-ha! Enjoy the ride.
[j a b b e r s]
OK, Scottie, take her down.
Thank goodness.
You did it, son. Good work!
Dwayne and I can't just leave Mr. Khan's
cargo here with these pirates.
[Kit] Fine, but let's escape first, OK?
- Baloo!
- I'm comin'.
Come on, buddy. Let's grab Khan's stuff
and get outta here.
[groggy laughter]
Now all we gotta do is get to the
Sea Duck and warn that gunship.
- OK, Baloo?
- Whatever you say.
Big deal.
So I made a little mistake.
The captain didn't have to
get so cranky.
The ship needed to be washed!
Baloo, hold it.
Oh, great.
We'll never get her righted.
- What now?
- Baloo's gonna fly us outta here.
Me? Ha!
Ah, he's just being modest.
He can fly anything anywhere.
Give it up, kid.
Nobody can take off in a plane
full of water and upside-down.
Baloo can. 'Cause he's the greatest!
Stop it, you hear me?
Just knock it off!
I'm a loser. A failure.
I crashed my plane, I lost my cargo
And thanks to me a very big boat's
gonna get sunk and I can't cut it.
I tell ya Just
Just leave me alone.
Papa bear?
I still think you're the best.
You really think I can do it?
It's something to shoot for.
This ain't no hayride.
Let's pull chocks!
Here. Breathe through this.
This isn't gonna work, guys.
Just prepare for takeoff.
You're crazy, Baloo!
[hammering on door]
If you've brought a present, come in.
Captain, the prisoners have escaped.
What? Idiots. Find them!
Hey, look. Moby Dick!
That is the Sea Duck, you slugs.
After them!
[Kit] Go right and speed it up.
Now, Baloo, now!
- You did it!
- He did it!
I did?
- I did!
- [Kit] Yee-hah!
[Kit] We've got to warn that gunship!
Maybe if we set off one of those mines
they'd turn away.
Aww, not my trophy!
It's the only way.
Been nice knowing you.
Minefield dead ahead. Hard a-port!
You saved them, Baloo.
Yeah, but who's gonna save us?
Status report, Captain Hotspur.
A yellow seaplane just saved us
from a minefield, sir.
[Khan] Yes.
That would be my patsy.
Well, that "patsy" is giving those
pirates a run for their money!
[Kit] Baloo, head for the mirrors!
Why? To see ourselves shot down?
No. We're gonna escape between them.
- The pirates are flying CT-37s.
- Yeah?
So CT-37s croak
at the top of a steep climb.
If you fly low along the water
then swoop up between the mirrors
They won't be able to follow.
This is insanity!
Stop him!
That's it. We're finished!
Baloo, what if I climb out
and be your eyes?
[Wily] This boy's enthusiasm
is gonna get us all killed.
This boy happens to be Kit Cloudkicker,
the best navigator in these skies.
And we're a team, see?
So if he thinks we can do it,
we can do it!
So, do it.
A half a mile!
More altitude!
Ten degrees port!
A bit more
Dead on!
400 yards.
100. Go!
Follow him!
[Karnage] I have you now, Baloo.
- [engine sputters]
- Maybe not.
[Kit] It worked. They couldn't follow!
Down! Down!
Well, he who steals and runs away
lives to steal another day.
Get us out of here, Scottie.
Uh, the name's Jock.
Baloo, the best piloting I've ever seen!
You were terrific.
Where do you get off,
sending me on a mission like that?
I coulda been killed!
Pirates, guns, bombs.
And what about my plane?
You, you, you
I believe this should adequately
show my appreciation.
[chuckles] Yes, sir.
Good day, then.
Uh, hold the phone, buster.
One more thing.
Hey, I lost my trophy
saving your gunship.
I'm gonna need another one.
A bigger one!
And then Khan gave me the money
and this new trophy.
That's wonderful. Isn't it, Kit?
Yeah. Great.
Check that inscription.
"Kit Cloudkicker,
best navigator in the world"?
All right!
Just don't let it go to your head,
Lil' Britches.
Another tale to spin
Another tale to spin
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
Oh-oh oh-oh oh
[Baloo] Ha ha ha!
TaleSpin ♪
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