TaleSpin (1990) s01e52 Episode Script

Pizza Pie in the Sky

- [thunderclap]
- [man chuckling]
Spin it!
[men vocalizing]
Let's begin it.
- Ohh-ee-yeh
- TaleSpin
- Ohh-ee-yo
- TaleSpin
Friends for life
through thick and thin
With another tale to spin
- Ohh-ee-yeh
- TaleSpin
- Ohh-ee-yo
- TaleSpin
All the trouble we get in
with another tale to spin
Spin it!
[men vocalizing]
Spin it, my friend.
- Ohh-ee-yeh
- Ohh-ee-yeh
- Ohh-ee-yo
- Ohh-ee-yo
- Ohh-ee-yeh, ohh-ee-yo
- Ohh-ee-yeh, ohh-ee-yo
[rapid vocalizing]
Spin it, let's begin it
Bear 'n grin it when you're in it
You can win it in a minute
When you spin it, spin it, spin it
So spin it!
TaleSpin! ♪
[Rebecca] Now, is there anything
I've forgotten to do before I go?
Let's see, books balanced.
Accounts accounted for.
Petty cash?
[sighs] Petty.
Hey, I've been looking
all over for those.
- Want a donut?
- This is not a refrigerator.
It's a safe, and I intend
to fill it with money.
That's why I'm going
to the Better Business Bootcamp.
This business seminar stuff's
a bunch of hooey.
I could tell you
how to make money just like that.
You need common sense.
And I've got the most
uncommonly common sense.
I could use more dollars
and less sense.
Don't worry. We'll take care
of everything while you're gone.
Maybe I should just take
a correspondence course.
No, go! Don't you even trust me
to run things for two days?
Yes, if you just follow
one simple instruction.
What's that?
Don't do anything!
[Baloo] That's what I do
when she's here.
Hey, I know. Pet coconuts.
No, they'd never sell.
Wait, wait, a watch chicken.
Ha ha!
It'll guard your house
and give you breakfast, too!
Here you go, cuz. A lemon sludge
and a pomegranate fizz.
Heavy on the fizz.
Yeah, put 'em on my tab, as usual.
Say, you're a businessman, Louie.
What's the secret of making money?
I wish I knew, man.
Business has been terrible lately.
Aw, not you too.
What you need is a partner
with a nose for business.
Yeah? Like who?
Like me. [laughs]
With my know-how and your whatever,
we'd make a fortune.
What about me?
[Baloo] Sure.
The more, the merrier.
What kind of business
could we be partners in?
I don't know, Louie.
It's hard to think on an empty stomach.
How about something to eat?
Right, man.
I've got just the thing.
I got it. We could fly
people's mail to them overnight.
That way, they'd get
their letters the next day.
No, it'd never catch on.
Who'd pay money
just to get their bills faster?
We gotta give people
something they can't resist.
One Louie's Special.
Oh, boy! You make
the best pizza anywhere, Louie.
Yeah. Too bad you have to fly
all the way out here to get it.
Hey, partners!
That's it!
Pizza Pie in the Sky.
May I take your order?
Pizza delivered by air anywhere.
Guaranteed hot
or your money back.
I tell you, Louie, an idea like this
can't help making money.
Yeah, if somebody
doesn't eat up all the profits.
With your big mouth, I'm gonna
run out of dough and toppings, too.
In the pizza business,
you can never have too many toppings.
Except for anchovies.
Nobody likes anchovies.
It's a good thing 'cause the only time
I tried to eat 'em
I hate to miss a good anchovy story,
but we got some deliveries to make.
Keep the pizzas flying.
Don't worry, Louie.
Before you know it,
we'll be back with the dough.
The spending kind.
I bet nobody's ever delivered pizza
to an ice floe before.
No one had the good sense to advertise
in Better Igloos and Ice Gardens.
Hey, somebody named Nanuk
order a pizza?
- Whoa! How's the weather up there?
- Cold.
You call this large pizza?
Stop blubbering.
It says here you ordered a small pizza.
I ordered large pizza!
The customer's always right.
Especially large customers.
Pizza Pie in the Sky.
If you've got cold cash,
we got hot pizza.
I thought this was
guaranteed delivery in two hours.
- It already midnight.
- Midnight?
Are you crazy?
The sun's still up.
This Land of Midnight Sun.
And it's cold!
It's not cold.
It's just room temperature.
I'll be right back!
And don't forget the anchovies!
What was wrong with it this time?
Nothing a blowtorch wouldn't cure.
You mean we have to bring him
another pizza?
No way around it, kiddo.
The customer is always right.
Here you go. One large pizza,
guaranteed fresh and hot.
Hey, there's no anchovies.
Louie must have forgot them.
Well, no problem.
Nothing fresher than that.
Ha ha!
I thought Rebecca was the only person
in the world who liked anchovies.
I guess that makes two of you.
Maybe three.
What's wrong now? You aren't
gonna blame me for this, are you?
- [smack]
- [shouts]
What happened this time?
[shivers] You wouldn't believe it.
But if you see a killer whale
with mozzarella on his breath,
tell him he owes us five bucks.
We've used 400 gallons of gas
trying to deliver one pizza.
Our trouble is we started out too small.
If we're gonna show Becky
we can make it in big business,
we gotta think big.
The secret to every
successful business: advertising.
[electricity crackles]
Is this mass marketing
or mess marketing?
You just wait.
With this promotional giveaway,
the orders should start rolling in.
Louie calling Sea Duck.
Come in, Baloo.
That's probably an order right now.
- Loud and clear, Louie.
- Great news, Baloo.
We just got a big order for lunch:
200 pizzas, one with anchovies.
But about those anchovies, man
Two hundred pizzas! Ha ha!
We're in business now, kiddo!
We'd better stop off on the way to
Louie's and get some anchovies.
[Kit] How? We spent
all our money on gas.
Not having money's no problem
as long as you know somebody who does.
Isn't this a little like stealing?
Bite your tongue, kiddo.
I'm not taking any money.
I'm just gonna borrow it.
Without telling Rebecca.
A great gal, Becky,
but no business sense.
Think of this
as a small-business loan.
A very small business loan.
We better try
Bob's Discount House of Anchovies.
Yeah, hope he's having another
scratch and dent sale.
Lucky for us, Bob's Discount House
of Fish has the best deals in town.
- Morning.
- I wanna see a man about a fish.
Well, well, fine, fine.
Well, fine.
- Anchovies, and make it snappy.
- Oh, yes.
By that you mean you want anchovies,
is that it?
Yeah, anchovies, little guys
with salad oil all over their bodies?
Yes, of course, I see.
Anchovies. You're sure?
- This is Bob's Discount House of Fish?
- Why, yes it is.
- You do sell anchovies, right?
- Of course, just not today.
- We're fresh out.
- Fresh, in this place?
- I have some very nice catfish.
- No.
- Flounder.
- No.
- Pollack?
- No.
- Wahoo? Feel like a big crab?
- Not yet, but I'm getting there.
Ah, I have just the thing.
Perhaps I could interest you
in a tasty octopus. Mmm-mmm, yum yum.
Look, Bob, your sign says
"Special today: anchovies"!
Come on, Baloo. We'll buy a can of tuna.
Nobody'll know.
Uh-uh, I came in for anchovies,
I'm going out with anchovies.
Now, businessman to businessman,
are you saying you're completely
and totally out of anchovies?!
- Well, I do have a few left.
- I thought so.
- They've gone a bit off.
- I don't care!
- But
- Gimme!
Right! But you won't like them.
That boy's been breathing
too much brine.
- Geronimo!
- What are you doing, Louie?
I make tomato sauce
the old-fashioned way.
I stomp it!
You better stomp fast, Louie,
if you're gonna make
200 pizzas by lunchtime.
Oh, yeah, fuzzy, about that one that's
supposed to have the anchovies
Relax, Louie. I got it covered.
Some of 'em are a little irregular,
but I got the whole barrel for a dollar.
- What are you talking about?
- Anchovies!
Can I smell a bargain or what?
Oh, I must have lowered
his overhead too fast.
I think he's sick.
He does look
a little green around the gills.
Maybe he's allergic to something.
[wheezing] Anchovy
anchovy anchovies
If Louie's sick, then who's gonna
make all those pizzas?
Yeah. And how am I
gonna pay back Rebecca?
Well, the dough ought to be
mixed up by now.
- How we doing for time?
- Well, OK,
if we can make 200 pizzas in one hour.
No problem.
All you gotta do is think big.
Now, that's what I call
making pizza dough in no time flat.
- How was that, Kit?
- Off target, ten degrees.
I never could hit anything
with tomato sauce.
I'll try to do better with the toppings.
Switching to auto-pilot.
OK, kiddo, it's all yours.
Now we're cooking!
[groans] Afraid not.
We don't have enough time
to cook the pizzas and deliver them.
Oh, too bad we can't do both
at the same time.
You're a genius!
Surprised I didn't think of it.
Oh, man!
I hate anchovies.
I wish Louie could go with us.
Yeah, he could help carry this oven.
[Baloo grunts]
Now this pizza business
is really gonna take off.
That's it. That is enough!
I am phoning for reinforcements.
The anchovies.
Oh, they're everywhere!
There's millions of 'em!
Slimy little fins
and those beady little eyes.
I can I can almost smell 'em.
Right in front of me.
Hey, let go of me!
Holy pepperoni!
It's the king of the anchovies.
And it talks!
Why, you'll never take me alive,
Take that! And some of this!
I just want to use the phone!
Don't jive me, you overgrown guppy!
You idiot! I'm not an anchovy.
This is an anchovy.
When this is over,
I'm transferring to an easier job
with the bomb squad!
You know,
there's something really exciting
about getting a new business
off the ground.
Yeah, exciting.
[fire crackling]
Before you know it,
we'll be rolling in dough.
Then Becky will see who
really knows how to run a business.
Where in Cape Suzette are we supposed
to deliver these pizzas, anyway?
It's that new hotel outside of town,
the Takeover Hostel.
The Takeover Hostel?
Isn't that where Rebecca's
business seminar is?
Oh, man, I should've known.
Things were going too good.
[groans] I wonder
what's gonna happen next.
[both coughing]
[Kit] There's a grease fire
in the pizza oven.
I can't see a thing, Little Britches.
Which way are we heading?
[Kit] Look out, Papa Bear!
We gotta put the fire out!
Get some water.
You can't put a grease fire out
with water! [coughing]
Oh, yes, you can.
[Baloo] When I put a fire out,
I put it out.
Baloo, how are we gonna cook the pizzas
without the oven?
We'll just, uh
There's only one way I know to cook
200 pizzas in five minutes. All set?
Ready when you are, Baloo.
[Baloo] Guaranteed hot
or your money back.
Hey, it takes a hot pilot
to fly through a volcano.
How much longer, Baloo?
I'm starting to feel like an anchovy.
And I hate anchovies.
You know what they say:
If you can't stand the heat,
bail out of the kitchen.
I smell something.
[sniffs] Sulfur and brimstone?
No, it's hot pepperoni.
And one with anchovies.
Ha ha ha! The pizza's done!
We did it, kiddo.
We're not gonna make it.
The pizzas are too heavy.
[grunts] Must be the extra cheese!
[engines stalling]
Baloo, we gotta dump those pizzas!
No way! If we dump 'em,
our business goes bust.
Would you rather be bust or dust?
OK! See what you can jettison.
Now you're talking.
But don't touch those pizzas!
Hey! Not my bottle cap collection.
Baloo! I think we gave the volcano
a little indigestion.
Glad we didn't toss in the pepperoni.
It might've got an ulcer.
Except for the pizzas and us,
this spare block of ice is the last
thing that's not nailed down.
[grunts] Did you say ice?
Kit, when I tell you,
pitch that cube overboard.
- Ready!
- Let her rip!
Wait a sec.
Isn't that gonna make a lot of steam?
[panicked shouting]
- Nose up, Baloo! Nose up!
- Which way is up?
Huh, I've been looking for this
since last month.
- We made it.
- Hey, no sweat.
Now all we gotta do is deliver these
pizzas without Rebecca seeing us.
Business is competition.
It's winners and losers.
- Do you wanna be losers?
- Sir, no, sir!
- Do you wanna be winners?
- Sir, yes, sir!
Let's hear you be lean, mean
business machines!
[all roaring]
I just wanted to learn
how to make a little extra money.
I can't hear you!
[clears throat]
Timid, huh?
That kind of namby-pamby stuff
won't cut it in the business world.
You gotta stand up on your hind legs
and make a big noise!
[airplane approaching]
My, that was a big noise.
[clears throat]
Lunch. Seminar dismissed.
[grunts] So far, so good, kiddo.
Keep your eyes peeled for
Did you remember
to make one of those with anchovies?
Well, I guess nobody needs
to teach you guys how to make money.
Here you go: $500.
I always like to end the seminar
with a free lunch.
It challenges their
preconceived notions.
End the seminar? That means Becky's
going back to Higher for Hire.
First thing, she'll check the safe.
We better put that dollar back.
Becky won't care about
that one little dollar
when we show her this.
Baloo, what happens
when we show her the Sea Duck?
All right, kiddo, start scrubbin'.
I'll get more oven cleaner.
What we need is a self-cleaning plane.
[exhales] I bet The Sea Duck
hasn't been that clean
since you flew through a waterfall.
It's worth it, though,
just to see Becky's face when she
eyeballs this herd of shaboozies!
Talk about being surprised.
- Yah!
- [gasps]
Thought you were home safe, eh?
I'm with the health department,
flat, circular foods division.
- I'm throwing the book at yous two.
- For what?
Flying a restaurant
without a permit, $100 fine.
Operating heavy equipment
without a chef's license, $100 fine.
Dropping tomato sauce from a height
greater than 30 feet, $200 fine.
- Not to mention
- Enough already.
- What do all these fines add up to?
- The total comes to $499.
Goodbye, boys.
- Write if you find work.
- Next time yous go into business,
check with us first.
Remember, we're here to help you.
Yeah, to help yourself
to our money.
At least we broke even.
[Becky] Get your hands off that safe.
Dipping into petty cash again, Baloo?
How was the seminar, Rebecca?
The seminar?
Oh, it was very interesting.
I learned all about how to make
a business growl I mean, grow.
I came up with a great idea
about how to make money.
We had pizza for lunch.
It was delivered by a bunch of losers.
Filthy plane,
disgusting delivery people.
Anyway, if a company like that
can make money delivering pizza,
then Higher for Hire
could make a fortune!
Baloo? Kit?
Some people just can't handle success.
[men vocalizing]
Another tale to spin
Another tale to spin
[men vocalizing]
[man chuckling]
TaleSpin ♪
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