TaleSpin (1990) s01e65 Episode Script

Flying Dupes

Spin it!
Let's begin it
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through thick and thin
With another tale to spin
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- Tale Spin
- Oh-ee-yoh!
- Tale Spin
All the trouble we get in
With another tale to spin
Spin it!
Spin it, my friend
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Oh-ee-yay, oh-ee-yay
Oh-ee-yoh, oh-ee-yoh
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Spin it, let's begin it
Bear 'n grin it, when you're in it
You can win it in a minute
When you spin it, spin it, spin it!
So spin it!
Tale Spin!
But we're not at war with Thembria.
Yes! Thanks to our very own Department
of International Relations
and the brave volunteer pilot
who'll fly to Thembria and deliver
this present for peace.
(CHUCKLES) It's not that easy.
You can't just tap dance your way
through Thembrian borders, you know.
I understand.
It's a shame we'll have to find
someone else to be our
poster pilot of the year.
Bring me my dancing shoes.
Here's a map to the Thembrian
High Marshall's new summer home,
- and here is his housewarming present.
It must be delivered by 3:00 o'clock
today or the deal's off.
It's ticking.
Er, it's a cuckoo clock. Good luck,
and here's a down payment!
My face will be plastered
in every post office in town, Becky!
(LAUGHING) I'll be famous!
Baloo, this summer home's very deep
in Thembria.
You know how hard it is to
get past Thembrian checkpoints.
What are they going to do, blow me up?
We're talking about a country that uses
bath tubs instead of bombs.
Besides, I'll be packing
a present for peace.
We have our dupe.
The bomb is on its way.
I can't understand you, Wally.
It must be the long distance.
How's that, Mac?
Much better.
When our border guards find the bomb
on Baloo's plane,
the High Marshall will blame
Cape Suzette for trying to blow him up.
Yeah, then he'll declare war, and our
bomb factory will be back in business.
But, Wally, what if the bomb
gets to the High Marshall
and really does blow him up?
He won't be able to declare war.
It won't, Mac. You know it's impossible
to get past our checkpoints
without clearance from Colonel Spigot.
Spigot, you are the only one
who has clearance
to disturb me at my summer home.
But don't or you will be shot.
Right! High Marshall, sir.
I have ordered all air vectors closed.
If any of our pilots disturb me,
you know what will happen.
They will be shot?
- No. You will be shot.
Don't worry, sir. Our pilots
don't even know what an air vector is!
- No?
Then there will be flying tests
for everyone when I return!
(STAMMERING) Flying tests?
Not for top officers, too?
Hmm. I meant just pilots.
But good point. Top officers, too!
Whoever does not pass the test
will be shot!
Dunder, I can't take the flying test.
Sure you can. He said top officers, too.
But I don't know how to fly.
Oh. Maybe you should take
flying lessons.
I am the head of the Air Force, Dunder!
If anyone finds out my secret,
I'll be a laughing stock.
But you already are.
BALOO: But it's just a little,
housewarming present
for your High Marshall.
The High Marshall
doesn't want presents.
He wants closed air vectors.
Whatever those are.
Look, I've got to be there at 3:00.
Now, can't you just give me
special clearance?
No. Only Colonel Spigot
has special clearance,
and even he can't use it
without being shot.
Spiggy, huh?
Yes. Perhaps you've heard of him.
- The Terror of Tiny Tundra?
- Excuse me a second, will ya?
Certainly. We're just going to perform
a standard bomb check.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go right ahead.
Hiya, Dunder! Thirsty?
Oh, hi, Baloo.
- Thank you.
- My pleasure, Dundee.
Say, you think we can get our old pal
Spigot to help me deliver
a package to the High Marshall's
summer home?
Oh, he can't do that. He'd be shot.
(QUIETLY) Besides,
he's busy trying to find someone
to teach him to fly.
But, shh, that's a secret.
(SNORTING) Spiggy doesn't know
how to fly?
How did he get to be head
of the Air Force?
A clerical error.
Say, wouldn't you like to see
your Colonel take flying lessons
from someone he can trust?
You see, Spiggy, you need
a non-Thembrian to teach ya.
That way, none of your buddies
will know your secret.
I said not to tell anyone, dum-dum.
When do we start?
As soon as you call off your goons.
SPIGOT: Unhand that plane!
I'm confiscating it,
but not for flying lessons.
Yes, Colonel Spigot, sir!
(CHUCKLING) Well, there she is!
Twelve cylinders of cloud-hopping joy.
Has the plane been checked
for height safety?
Maybe I shouldn't
Come on, there's nothing to worry about.
I am not worried.
And I am not afraid to fly.
Uh, Spiggy, we just have
one small problem.
Too bad.
Scoot over and watch a pro do it.
No! My men are watching.
I must fly myself!
Uh, right. Don't worry, I've got an idea.
Nice touch, Baloo.
That's why I'm gonna be
poster pilot of the year.
Okay, hop in.
BALOO: That's better.
I'm still not afraid.
Right. Now first thing ya got to do is
fasten your seat belt.
Oh, so you think I'll crash us, don't you?
- No, it's just
- Seat belt!
I don't need no stinking seat belt!
- No!
(GROANS) Do you want to turn that off?
What's he doing all the way up here?
Uh, we're still on the ground.
Are you really going to let him fly?
He crashed his jeep 11 times last week.
You think I'm nuts?
We'll just let him watch
from the co-pilot's seat
while I deliver a package.
But, shh, that's a secret.
BALOO: Now that you've learned to
fasten your seat belt,
we'll have lesson number two.
Clearing air vectors.
Skip to lesson three.
The High Marshall's ordered
all air vectors shut down.
BALOO: Well, if we can't get through,
we'll just have to turn back.
It's not me who's gonna get shot
for not passing a flying test.
Clear all air vectors immediately!
Roger Wilco ten four, big buddy,
respond. Respond!
BALOO: Try this.
Clear all air vectors.
This is Colonel Spigot.
Yes, sir. Immediately.
But why are you in a foreign craft?
Uh, top secret! It has nothing, repeat,
nothing to do with flying lessons.
Well? Aren't you going to
give me a bomb check?
Nah. I'm whittling.
Maybe you should pay more attention.
What if somebody flew past?
You mean like that?
The vectors are clear.
They are? Oh, they can't be!
What about the big yellow plane
from Cape Suzette?
Left 10 minutes ago.
He had to deliver a housewarming
present to the High Marshall.
Ooh! If the High Marshall
goes through the roof,
bomb sales will go through the floor!
BALOO: And this over here
controls the windshield wipers.
And that's the roof and that's the floor!
Done! Now let me fly!
Uh Okay, chief.
Dunder! Help!
Okay. I can fly like this.
Yeah, I'm sure you can,
but you might find this easier.
Uh, just a little hint.
You might wanna grab
the steering wheel.
I knew that.
This plane flies rough!
Dunder, I order you to fix it!
DUNDER: But we're in the air, sir.
BALOO: Okay, lesson's over!
You passed with flying colors, Spiggy!
I'll take the wheel now.
SPIGOT: No! I'm not giving up
until I fly smooth.
Smooth, huh?
Look, Mount Moreslush!
BALOO: Hey, feel the ride.
Smoother than a baby's bottom.
Yes, smooth. Now, Spigot, flying ace,
will hob-nob at Ivan's
with the best of them!
Ivan's? What's Ivan's?
It's a place where all good pilots go
on their lunch break.
BALOO: Uh, sorry, Spiggy.
It's almost 2:30,
and I've got to be somewhere at 3:00!
I'm the flying ace,
and I say we're stopping.
I'm your instructor, and I say we're not.
This is Spigot, flying ace!
Shut down all air vectors immediately.
Roger Wilson ten five, up and over!
We're stopping.
Well, we can just zip right in,
grab food to go, and zip right out, right?
What? And miss the 3:00 floor show?
Oh, why do I get the feeling
this flying lesson plan's about to
blow up in my face?
I wouldn't leave this in the plane.
Bad neighborhood.
Thanks, Dunder,
but I think we're ready to leave.
- The situation was explosive.
There we were, the plane going like so.
Until I, Spigot, flying ace, took control
and made the plane fly
smoother than a
Oh, yeah, he's great, all right.
Time to hit the road, ace.
What? And miss the dancing girls?
I order you to relax!
Come on! The Colonel wants to see
dancing girls.
Phew! Good thing he stopped for lunch!
BALOO: Welcome, ladies and germs,
to our 3:00 show.
Whoo-hoo! Baby! (LAUGHING)
Yeah! Bring on the girls! Whoo-hoo!
BALOO: Hello, flyboys, hello
We hope you like our show
We're having lots of fun
But we really got to run
So something rhyming with oh
Yeah! Hubba, hubba. Yeah!
SPIGOT: Encore!
WALLY: Where's the package?
SPIGOT: Get lost!
- I saw her first!
I am Colonel Spigot.
Master of the air.
Perhaps you have heard of me?
Ooh, take me for a ride
in your plane, you he-munchkin!
Let's go!
WALLY: I'll take that.
That thief!
A token of my affection,
my little Eskimo pie.
Oh, I just love presents!
Stop him! He's got a bom
How about I take you ladies
for a little spinski?
Oh, golly, I've never flown
in a real airplane before!
Uh, you forgot to release
the pre-ignition catalyzer.
Are you sure you've never been
on a plane?
The Colonel will kill us
when he finds out who we are!
He'll kill us a lot sooner if he tries to fly.
Uh, I just remembered
we have a 3:15 show to do.
Oh, uh, before you go,
I have something back here for you.
Prepare for the ride of your life,
my little snow cones.
Find your own women, loser!
We better get to the cockpit before
he turns my plane into a meat grinder.
(GROANS) Oh, I can't believe
I'm doing all this just to be famous.
WALLY: Come in, big, yellow plane.
Do you read me?
Listen! You don't know
what you're doing.
Nobody tells me I can't fly!
- (BANG)
The Air Force!
Remember when Spiggy closed
those vectors?
Something tells me
he forgot to reopen them.
Next lesson, how to get blown out
of the sky in five easy steps.
What are we going to do, Baloo?
Depends. If you start sliding off
the plane, try not to.
- If we get shot at
You got the idea.
You idiots! You're shooting your leader!
This is your fearless leader,
Spigot, speaking!
I order you to cease fire!
Uh-oh. Nice knowing you, Dunder.
- Baloney.
- No, really. I mean that.
DUNDER: I mean it, too.
Lunch meats? But why?
Who needs bombs? We're not at war.
Cheese and salami!
I thought I told them to cease fire!
Whoa! (GROANS)
Pull the stick! We're going down!
I can't see where I'm going!
Get out of my way!
Hmm. I can outrun them
if I keep flying straight.
Or I can lose them
with a stunningly executed left turn!
SPIGOT: No, that's left.
A great maneuver by a great pilot.
I think I'll call it hanging a spigot.
Give me that!
Yoo-hoo, my little ice floes.
Did you see me hang a spigot?
What happened to the babes?
I've got to stop that bomb.
But this is the High Marshall's
summer home!
Well, son-of-a-gun! So it is!
(STUTTERING) We must turn back.
If the High Marshall sees me, I'll be shot!
GUARD: Who goes there?
Baloo. I'm here to deliver
a housewarming present
to the High Marshall in honor of his,
er, lovely new summer home.
I'm under strict orders
from the High Marshall to turn away
anyone resembling magazine salesmen.
- But
- Ah! Colonel Spigot!
Shh. Shh.
Alert the High Marshall.
Colonel Spigot is here to see him!
- I'm gone.
- Maybe the High Marshall
will forgive you if you give him
something nice for his new home.
Yes, something nice for his new home.
(LAUGHS) What a dupe!
Spigot not only gets me
to the High Marshall's place,
but delivers the package for me!
- I'm famous!
- WALLY: Mush! Mush!
There is a bomb in the High Marshall's
housewarming present.
A bomb! Run!
What makes you think there's a bomb?
Because I'm the guy who put it there.
Looks like Spigot's not the only dupe.
My face is gonna be
in every post office in town.
On "wanted" posters.
The bomb's set to go off at exactly 3:00.
What time is it?
It's one minute to 3:00. No, 59 seconds.
SPIGOT: Yoo-hoo!
Mr. High Marshall, sir.
I have a surprise for you.
Anybody home?
Spigot! I told you not to disturb me.
Now I have to go to the trouble
of having you shot.
Is that for me?
- What is it?
- Why, it's a
Why are you trying to blow me up
at my new summer home, Spigot?
Uh Uh
He's not!
Spigot commandeered my plane
and flew like fury to save you
from this guy's bomb!
It's a lie! The bomb belongs
to this swine from Cape Suzette.
Well, which one of you
is telling the truth?
I am telling the truth as sure as
I'm standing here on this spot.
Guess he was lying.
I want to thank you both
for saving my life and for promoting
peace between our countries.
I did all the hard work.
He was just my co-pilot.
Ah, lazy Cape Suzette swine, eh?
Come, Spigot.
Take me to my barber's appointment.
HIGH MARSHALL: Have you grown?
Some gratitude.
Hey, Colonel, make sure you show
the High Marshall how to hang a spigot.
HIGH MARSHALL: Spigot, this is
the roughest flight I've ever been on.
I may still have you shot,
even if you did save my life!
SPIGOT: Wait, sir, please!
I'll do my special maneuver.
Hanging a spigot.
Tale Spin
Tale Spin
Ooh, ooh
Another tale to spin
Tale Spin
Tale Spin
Ooh, ooh
Another tale to spin
Tale Spin!
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