Tangled: The Series (2017) s02e04 Episode Script

Forest of No Return

1 (theme song playing) I got the wind in my hair and a fire within 'Cause there's something beginning I got a mystery to solve and excitement to spare That beautiful breeze blowing through I'm ready to follow it who knows where I'll get there, I swear With the wind in my hair (birds singing) (snarling wolves) (gasps) They're gaining on us! (barking) What are these things? Don't worry, it's just a pack of Slayer Wolves.
(loud snarling) (coins dropping) - (coins shaking) - (laughs) Come on! This way! Dead end! We're goners! Aw, please, wolves, don't eat me! I'm so chewy! Oh, who am I kidding? I'm probably moist and delicious.
(growling) It's not a dead end, Lance.
It's just got good acoustics.
(coins shaking loudly) (whimpering and howling) (shaking continues) Ah, ha! That was incredible, Eugene! Oh, man, Eugene's back and better than ever! Yeah! You're the king of the wild! All right, everybody, let's hit the road.
Eh, anybody who's spent time in the woods knows that Slayer Wolves have extremely sensitive hearing.
See that teamwork? I distract them by pretending to cry while you chase 'em off.
(chuckles) (quietly) Thank you! I just did what had to be done.
Now come on, I'll show you how to extract drinking water from a tree trunk! Okay, so the black rocks have led us to a swamp.
But on the bright side I was hoping someone would finish that sentence for me, this place is terrible.
- (crow caws) - (frog croaks) Da da da da da, da da da dooo Uh, I don't think you wanna drink that, Shorty.
Ah, you know what they say: One man's swamp water is another man's "I'll drink it!" So, "king of the wild", any suggestions on how to cross this thing? Eugene! (frightened stammering) Looks like it's too deep! Hah! So, I think we're going to have to backtrack to get through this.
It'll add a day to our journey, but it's the only way.
ADIRA: I had no idea people from Corona were such quitters.
You know, I always say, if you can't go through something, go over it.
Wow! I guess chivalry's not dead! I told you I'd be around if trouble came your way.
And, well, here I am.
Your new guide.
Yeah, you were a real help with those Slayer Wolves back there.
You be quiet.
(clearing throat) Rapunzel, we talked about this.
I don't trust this woman.
She keeps popping up out of nowhere, and I don't like it.
Yes.
Yes, yes, I second that, plus, we don't need her.
Another person will just slow us down, particularly with all h Oh, I don't know, you're gonna need her.
She's the only one who can get you through the deadly Forest of No Return.
(loud, eerie growling) Few have made it to the other side of the forest alive, and I'm one of them.
The first time I crossed, I had nothing but a dagger and a handful of nuts.
And I had bronchitis.
(gasps) (whispering) You're amazing! (whispering) I know.
So, lookie here, Adira, I appreciate the bridge assist, but I'm pretty sure I can lead us through a forest - Forest of No - Yes, I'm familiar with its name.
Thank you.
- (loud growling) - Wait! Eugene, listen, I know you grew up in the wilderness, and I have complete faith in you, I really do.
But can it hurt anything to have another expert along? Oh, goodie! Another expert! Fine.
Excellent.
You've made the only decision there is.
The right one.
This doesn't change anything, Eugene.
You are still the go-to guy out here.
(thud) That way! (gasp) Mmmm (horse whinnies) EUGENE: I would've cut these logs so much smoother.
Look at that shoddy craftsmanship.
(loud rumbling) That is one scary tree.
Reminds me of my Uncle Mert.
He, too, was a scary tree.
Relax, Shorty, there's nothing to be afraid of.
This swamp is just like any other swamp.
Anyone else hear a buzzing noise? I hear a buzzing noise.
(buzzing) (shouts) (Eugene shouts) (buzzing) - Oh! Thank you, Adira.
- (squeaking) All right, we all saw the creepy bug, nothing to write home about.
Huh? Let's move on.
Whoa whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
What's going on? The Forest of No Return is in perpetual motion and changes without warning.
Luckily I procured this special map many years ago.
It's the key to traversing the woods safely.
Uhh, thanks, but I happen to be a really good navigator.
And uh, I've got all the directions I need, right here.
Suit yourself.
Very well, Adira.
Your passive aggression is noted and respectfully disregarded.
Onward, Max! (grunts) (eerie noises) (frightened sound) Come on, Max, I'm trying to prove a point here! (grumbles) ADIRA: Although I was surrounded by stunning scenery, I knew not to mistake this beauty for what it truly was pure evil.
Uh-huh, that's right.
The Drexis are the deadliest creatures within the Forest of No Return.
Their wingspan stretches over 20 feet.
And each of their fangs are the size of a chubby toddler.
Wow, that is some powerful imagery there, Adira.
Fictional, but powerful.
And I was with you, but once you got to the spider-bats, you totally snapped my suspension of disbelief.
They're called the Drexis, weren't you listenin'? Who cares what they're called? Anyone? Show of hands? Would you put your hand down, Lance? Look, my point is, we are almost out of this fore Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
That cannot be the same sign.
Uncle Mert! I saw a tree that looks just like you.
We just went in a big circle.
No wait, it's not we should be out of this forest.
- Of No - I know what it's called! (whispers) Return.
- (eerie howling) - I really don't like you.
Okay, so I haven't technically gotten us anywhere, and I know what you're thinking, but it is not my fault.
Not your fault? You led us in a circle, "really good navigator.
" In Eugene's defense, it was a really good circle.
Ugh! We're never getting out of here.
We will if we use the map, Short Hair.
What did you call me? I find referring to people by a defining characteristic is more time-efficient than learning their names.
Hence, Short Hair.
- Earrings.
- Mmm.
- Soiled Gnome.
- Seems accurate.
- And Hook Foot.
- Ohh, that's just my actual name.
(laughs) What's Eugene's? Fish Skin.
- (giggles) - Wait a minute, what? Fish Skin? Fish Skin? Hoo-hoo! Well, I think the daily application of 16 assorted lotions, creams and exfoliants, would beg to differ! Eugene, hmm, maybe you should stop talking about your morning routine and just take Adira's map.
Fine! I will take the precious map.
Wise choice, Fish Skin.
You must follow its instructions to the letter.
Without its guidance, finding the exit to the forest would be like finding fur on a rattlesnake.
Aw, that would be kind of adorable.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, well, maps are pictures of the ground, and that's sometimes useful.
You know what else is useful? Common sense.
And common sense says we need to take this other road! Everyone back in the caravan, and where is the caravan? Both of you, back up! That's a land pit.
They're scattered all over the forest.
The horses and the camper are likely in another section of the woods now.
All right, all right, listen up, everyone.
There's no reason to be scared.
We're gonna find Max and Fidella, and get the heck outta this place in no time.
Follow my lead.
(grunting) (grumbles) (grunts) Cheater.
Everyone! Over here! Woo-hoo! (grunting) Rapunzel! The secret to escaping is to relax.
ADIRA: Reacting only tightens their grip.
(Eugene grunting) (sighs) (all sighing) (grunting) ADIRA: All right, gang.
Time to fuel up.
Why! Won't! These! Stupid! Vines! Cut! Uhh, how much longer, Eugene? Don't think of it as longer, think of it as better.
ADIRA: Just relax, Rapunzel.
Would you please avoid relaxing? I'm really tryin' to save face here.
Stupid Adira and her relaxing vines! (sighs) Just when I thought it wasn't possible to like you more, you go and make this delectable blackberry salad! Mmm! Mmm.
The roasted trout is fantastic! And Pascal loves his spiced fly medley.
Yeah, well, the cobbler's salty.
I'm gonna go extract some drinking water from that tree over there.
That's damaging to the tree, Fish Skin.
Try cutting a notch in one of those water-bearing vines instead.
This is the best Gouda I've ever had! It's it's a taste explosion! - ADIRA: You know, I always say - (Eugene sighs) never leave home without hard cheese.
(Eugene screaming) Oh, and uh, by the way, watch out for the pup-shrooms! Aww! Are you kidding me? (gasps) (barking) Eugene, I think it's time that you give Adira a chance.
She's done this before.
She can lead us out of here.
It's not your fault you took the wrong way and lost the camper.
Everyone still thinks LANCE: We'd be lost without you, Adira! HOOK FOOT: You're the king of the wild! LANCE: What aren't you good at? Maybe somebody should take some notes! Eugene! You got a pad on you? Ah I'll handle this.
- Hey, my Gouda! - Break's over, everybody.
We've got a forest to conquer.
(neighing) (mushroom yipping) (grumbling) (barking) (grunts) (grumbles) (grunts) Ohh! Look what I can see from here! It's the edge of the forest! We made it! You know something, it's almost like we didn't need this map, or some random stranger.
Whoa-ahh! Ha, okay, perfect landing.
Ten out of ten.
Now, I don't wanna brag scratch that, I want to brag who led us outta here? Buckle in, because this is a lotta syllables, kids: Eugene Fitzherbert, Esquire, navigator extraordinaire (gasps) Oh, boy.
ADIRA: Those are the Silver Geysers.
They're lava hot, and emit toxic gases.
Looks like I got some competition.
The map is instructing us to run through them.
It's possible, if we time it right.
Are you kidding me? You want us to run through there? A field of piping hot fire water? Yeah, we're not doin' that.
(rumbling) We could be swallowed by a land pit at any moment.
You have a better idea? I gotta be honest, I don't like the way you're lookin' at me right now.
All right, Muscles? Hold onto this.
Madame Ice Demon, grab onto him.
CASSANDRA: Let's go with somethin' else.
EUGENE: Bearded Raisin, hold onto her.
Sunshine! Hop aboard, darlin'.
I can do nicknames, too.
And it's like you said, if you can't go through something, go over it.
Right, Adira? You're making a mistake, Fish Skin.
Maybe we should, uh listen to her, Eugene? Guys, she's literally asking you to run through blazing hot explosions! Look, I may have underestimated these woods, and made a few mistakes along the way, but those mistakes were really the forest's fault, not mine.
So who are you gonna trust? Me, your friend who's gotten you this far, and has always had your back, or hmm? I hate to say it, but I think I'm gonna go with Adira on this one.
(sighs) Me too.
No! I know best! (all shouting) SHORTY: Ooh! Whoa! Aw, no Oh, come on.
I cannot believe this! How are we back here? Hey, look, it's Uncle Mert! We know.
Who's Uncle Mert? HOOK FOOT: It gets worse.
The path we came in on.
It's not there anymore! We're never gonna escape, and it's all your fault, Eugene.
You're not the king of the wild.
You're a disaster! You should've just given the map back to Adira.
- You can't read it! - Who could? It's a joke! This doesn't make any sense.
I saw the exit.
You saw the exit.
There was an exit! Now what do we d oh! Aah! Landpit! (groans) Stupid landpits! Wait! Where'd everyone go? Rapunzel! Cass! Lance! Anybody! Huh! All right, how does Adira read this stupid thing? I think it's pointing me toward a black blobby thing? Yep, there it is.
No, not a blobby thing.
A magical wall of black fire.
Ha That was my next guess.
(rumbling) Oh, come on! This can't be right, can it? I have to walk through a wall of magical black fire? This is crazy! Okay, this map had better be right.
Wowzas! Whoa (grunting) Ohh! Ow! (bird chirping) Adira! Ha-ha This actually worked! Have you seen the others? Not since you jumped across the clearing like a delirious madman.
We've gotta find them before nightfall.
Mm-hm.
So what's your plan? My plan is for you to take the lead.
Please help me find my friends.
I know exactly where we are, but I'm not sure about the others.
The map can only point its user to the exit.
Well, maybe they've made it out! Come on! I wish I could say they have, but you need the map or me to get to the exit, and as you can see, both of those things are right here.
(sighs) Adira, I'm sorry for the mess I've gotten us into.
It's just Before I met Rapunzel, being an adventurous, devil-may-care rogue was the one definite in my life.
It just felt nice to be in charge like that again.
- Hey! - (barking) - Pup-shroom.
- (panting, barks) - (barks) - But I guess I'm not that guy anymore.
You're right.
You're not who you used to be.
As you may be aware, I've been observing you and your friends.
And it's clear that because of the princess, you've become much more than just a swashbuckler.
You're also a friend.
You bring laughter and warmth.
You're the fish skin that holds this group together.
Hold up did you just say It's the optimum compound for making glue.
I used it to repair the soles of these boots.
Not too bad, huh? Oh! Fish Skin is a compliment? Uh sure.
Well, we can't just give up.
Come on, Adira, I I don't care if we have to turn this forest inside out, we're gonna find my friends.
Wait! Inside out! That's it! If I'm correct, the sections of this forest are moving from the inside out! A-ha! I'm correct! We'll be able to find your friends right here.
EUGENE: What's wrong? Where are they? These are the prettiest flowers I've ever seen.
HOOK FOOT: They're like medicine for my soul.
They're beauti wait.
Don't mistake the beauty for what it truly is, pure evil.
Guys, I don't think these are flowers! (gasps, whimpers) Spiders! Why does it always have to be spiders? (shouting) No, no, no, no, no! It's the Drexis! Ohh! Whoo! (Hook Foot screaming) Rapunzel! Run! (grunting) (Eugene laughs maniacally) (grunting) (Lance shouting) Adira was right.
Their fangs are as big as chubby toddlers.
Why? Why? I'm not gonna be eaten by some stupid flower-spider-bat-thing! I leave you guys alone for five minutes, and you get spun into a cocoon by giant spider-bats pretending to be flowers.
Pfft, typical.
This isn't looking good.
(whinnying) There's still too many of them! What do we do, Eugene? I think that's a question for Adira! Uh, not a great time to discover humility, Fish Skin! Don't worry.
That's a compliment.
The land pits! We've gotta jump in that hole! - (shouts) - Jump in a hole? The same kinda hole that led us to his clusterjam? Do what she says, Hook Foot! Like I have a choice! I'm a moth-man over here! Real men love strong women.
HOOK FOOT: What are you waitin' for? Jump in the hole! (cheering) (sighs) I've never been so glad to see those black rocks.
I'm so happy I could kiss someone! Ehhh, never mind.
Well, this is where I leave you.
- Adira, thank you.
For ev - Everything? I know, I'm amazing.
Once again, I have conquered the Forest of No Return, and singlehandedly pulled you out of a dire strait.
And I still have bronchitis.
Which, I didn't even tell you about, because, let's face it, I'm a champion.
Oh! Champion of my heart.
CASSANDRA: I hate to admit it, but she's growin' on me.
Well, that's no surprise.
Look how long it took me to win you over.
- Well - Hey, look! Someone put a tent on wheels! It's our caravan! The land must have shifted it over here! Shorty! You have excellent vision.
Because I eat a lot of vitamin butter.
EUGENE: You know, for the record, I'm pretty confident I could've gotten us out of there, (clears throat) eventually, but I figured, let Adira have her moment in the sun, you know? Clearly, she's got attention issues, and I thought I'd throw her a bone.
RAPUNZEL: That was very nice of you, Eugene.
Uh, Eugene? That's the sunset ahead of us? EUGENE: Yeah? And? RAPUNZEL: We're supposed to be heading east.
EUGENE: Oh, come on! CASSANDRA: Way to go, Fish Skin.
EUGENE: Heh-heh, that's a compliment.
(theme music playing) Now I got my eyes open and wide My heart burnin' like fire Feels like I'm so alive I'm never goin' back Whatever I want now, I'm gonna chase Who I am, I can't contain it I'm not gonna hold it in 'Cause there's more of me to give Oh yeah There's more of me to give